Before we get to those who have yet to win a championship, let’s be sure to honor those who have. That list includes…
CHAMPIONS
Bob Castrone – 2004, 2010, 2011, 2014 Robio Murray – 1999, 2000, 2002, 2012 Rich Calderon – 2013, 2016 Griff Coomer – 2005, 2015 Matt Neatock – 2007, 2009 Don Vozzola – 2006, 2008 Richard Burrier – 2003
THE MUGLESS
Granted, Burrier’s title run was so long ago, it almost feels like he belongs on this list. Anyhow, here are the teams that are still dreaming of their first Robioland Fantasy Football Mug.
Note: This is not a ranking.
Molly, voted most likely to have a tattoo of Bob on her ass.
MOLLY COOMER
SO CLOSE The closest Molly has come to ever winning a title just so happened to be her rookie campaign (2002). After opening the season with loss to Griff, she won four straight and eight of her first nine. She would go on to win her division with a 10-4 record, earning the top-seed. While it helped that her opponents failed to show (second lowest points per game average), she wasn’t a fluke, as her team finished third in scoring that year.
Her path to the title game proved to be an easy one. She crushed 8-seed David and 7-seed (and fellow rookie), Rob Masterson. Both failed to crack 1,000. However, in the finals, the competition got stiffer and Molly lost to me, 1,841 – 1,112.
BEST TEAM Molly’s best squad and the team that was clearly the favorite heading into the post-season, was her 2011 team. Led by Aaron Rodgers, Willis McGahee, Victor Cruz and Jimmy Graham, Molly won five of her first six, earning weekly high scores three times (twice breaking 2,000). She would finish the year 10-3, earning both the top seed and the scoring crown, averaging a stunning 1,536 points per game. At the time, it was the second most points scored in the regular season.
Yet, a week after losing her season finale against Griff, Molly was knocked out in the quarterfinals by 8-seed Don, 1,399 – 1,344. Based on my season’s rankings, Molly’s 2011 was the greatest team to not win a single playoff game.
NOW WHAT At this point, it feels like the only chance Molly will get to having a mug is if she steals one from Griff. She’s won just two playoff games over the last 14 years and has failed to qualify for the post-season the previous two seasons, producing back-to-back 4-9 records.
COLBY HALL
SO CLOSE Colby has reached the title game twice, in 2005 and 2015, and both times he couldn’t escape Griff Coomer. Back in 2005, he was a hot seven-seed, having won four of six down the stretch, shaking off a rough 2-5 start to the season. Led by Tiki Barber and Warrick Dunn, he upset 2-seed Neatock in the quarters and beat me in a classic semifinals match up, 1,880 – 1,540. However, in the title game, Dunn failed to show (98 points), Steve Smith did next-to-nothing (34 points) and tight end, Ben Troupe did actual nothing (zero points) and Colby was crushed, 1,882 – 739. His point total remains the lowest for a championship game.
This leaves us with his 2015 squad. That team struggled with consistency all year, as they managed only one three-game winning streak, as Colby tinkered with the lineup throughout the season. In fact, they actually dropped four of their last five in the regular season, despite finishing fifth in points scored.
Yet, as the six-seed, Colby upset 3-seeded Eric, before stunning the world, taking down defending champ and 1-seed, Bob, by just 81 points. However, in the title game came 2-seed and favorite, Griff, who had been riding David Johnson since week nine. In the finals, Colby’s squad again failed to show. All-Robio back, Doug Martin, produced just 110, Mike Evans scored only 122 and Mason Crosby was shut out. Colby would end up losing, 1,333 – 1,049.
BEST TEAM There are a few good Colby teams that probably should have been contenders. His 2004 squad dominated the scoring, producing over 20,000 total points (14-game schedule), but that team could never catch a break. They won just six games all year and were knocked out in the quarterfinals.
Colby’s best team in my mind was easily his 2014 squad. He had the league’s top running back, DeMarco Murray and the league’s best defense (Bill DST). He also had Drew Brees and Mike Evans, who would earn rookie of the year honors.
After a week one loss to his nemesis (Griff), Colby steamrolled the league, winning seven straight (a career high). Down the stretch, he did drop three of five, but we couldn’t blame him. In all three loses, his opponents had the weekly high score, while he ended the year scoring over 1,500 in his final three.
At 9-4, Colby was the 2-seed and the second highest scoring team in the league. Bob was the clear favorite and it seemed like the only person who could really challenge him was Mr. Hall. Unfortunately, fucking Griff. Yep, for the second straight year, Coomer ended Colby’s championship dreams, beating him in the quarterfinals, 1,626 – 1,208.
NOW WHAT Colby retains the title over Rob Masterson as the “best team to not win a title.” A lot of it has to do with past success (he’s never missed the playoffs two years in a row), but in reality, Colby is a mover and a shaker and is never really out of it. Just look at least season. He was 1-8. Yet, he still almost made the playoffs, winning four straight against three playoff teams, breaking 1,500 three times. Hell, he beat the eventual champ (Calderon) in week 13. Luckily for all of us, he just missed the post-season, because if he had snuck in, he might have been one of the favorites.
ROB MASTERSON
SO CLOSE Officially, Masterson has never been close, as he’s never reached the finals. He has made it to the semifinals four times, including his first two seasons in the league, but in both those cases, he was blown out of the playoffs by a pair of Coomers.
Back in 2006, Rob reached the semifinals after knocking off the 1-seed, Burrier, but then lost to me, 1,464 – 1,073. However, the closest he ever really came was in 2013. as the #3 seed, he crushed Molly with a 2,000-point effort in the quarterfinals, but the momentum failed to carry over, as he lost to the 2-seed and eventual champ, Calderon, by only only 333 fantasy points.
BEST TEAM Speaking of that 2013 squad, one could argue they were Rob’s best ever. Led by first-team wide receiver, Josh Gordon and second-team quarterback, Drew Brees, Masterson won eight games, earning the two-seed and averaged a solid 1,500 points per contest. He cracked 1,500 in eight of his 13 regular season games, but in the end, they struggled down the stretch, losing three of five. Like I pointed out above, that team flamed out in the semifinals.
Yet, I believe Rob’s best was actually his 2011 team. That squad finished 9-4 and averaged a stunning 1,530 points per game, which remains the fifth most ever scored in a regular season. Even more crazy, that total didn’t earn Rob his first career scoring title, as Molly’s 1,536 PPG snaked him. Still, he was the two-seed and along with Molly, was one of the clear favorites to win it all. Then Bob got in his way. Yep, in the quarterfinals, the 7-seed and eventual champ, took down Masterson by only two points, in the most stunning weekend of fantasy football ever.
NOW WHAT Here’s the cold hard truth. Rob Masterson, despite all he’s done in this league, remains the only person to never earn the top seed, never win a scoring title and has never reached the title game. That’s amazing. Yet, outside of Bob, Griff and let’s add Calderon to that group, no one has been more consistently good lately. He’s made it to the playoffs the past six years (only Bob can also make that claim). Just as impressively, he’s produced six straight winning seasons and has won at least eight games in four of those six years. That’s good. Yet, none of it has translated into playoff victories. Rob is just 1-7 in the post-season, dating back to 2007. We always talk about turning the corner, but Rob has been standing on that corner for nearly a decade now.
ERIC VOZZOLA
SO CLOSE This one is easy. Back in 2012, Eric put together one hell of a team. He was a early preseason favorite, despite history telling us he would fail. Eric started off hot, winning his first five, but after dropping three of five down the stretch, he missed out on the top seed and settled for the three seed. However, in the post-season, his team heated up. He crushed #6 Masterson in the quarterfinals and then escaped with a low scoring, 1,163 – 677 win over #8 Burrier.
In the finals, his team went off. It was a balanced effort that saw seven players score over 200, led by the Bears’ 376 points, Eric scored a total of 1,871 points. Yet, it wasn’t enough, as I scored 102 more points and scored a stunning 1,973 – 1,871 victory. His 1,871 remains the most points ever scored in a title game defeat.
BEST TEAM This one is easy, as it has to be that 2011 team. Led by a trio of second-team All-Robio players (Drew Brees, Ray Rice and Demaryius Thomas), along with a first-team All-Robio defense (Bears DST), Eric won a career high nine games and earned his first ever scoring title.
NOW WHAT After consistently missing the playoffs year in and year out, Eric has made the playoffs the last two seasons. That doesn’t seem like much, but for Eric, who has made it to the post-season three years in a row just once, he’ll take it.
For him to take it to the next level, he needs to become a playoff threat. In 16 years in this league, Eric has failed to win a playoff game in 15 of them. Both his career playoff wins came in 2012. At some point, he needs to become the guy you don’t want to see in the post.
JEFF GREENBLATT
SO CLOSE Like Eric above, Jeff’s best team and the closest he got to a mug are one in the same. After lackluster eight solo seasons in Robioland, Jeff finally accomplished something last year when he reached the finals as the 1-seed.
In the quarterfinals, he caught a break and escaped with a 905 – 840 win over 8-seed Burrier. However, in the semifinals, he cracked 1,800 and crushed 6-seed, me.
Yet, despite being the top seed, Jeff entered the title game as the underdog. Calderon was the scoring champ and heavy favorite and Jeff had no chance, losing 1,846 – 1,180.
BEST TEAM Clearly it was his 2016 team. Led by Drew Brees, LeSean McCoy and Melvin Gordon, it was a year of firsts for Jeff. He earned his first top seed, winning a career high 11 games. He also cracked 19,000 points in the regular season for the first time, averaging a career high 1,494 points per game.
NOW WHAT After the 2015 season, Jeff had fallen behind Eric as the league’s worst team in Robioland. Yet, 2016 showed that can actually do this. For now, he needs to prove that it wasn’t a fluke. That’s all.
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