For years, Rich Calderon hung the “greatest team to never win a title” label proudly around his neck, but no more. Sadly, it’s time to pass the mantle. Yet, who deserves it? Let’s look at our options. We have, in no particular order, Rob Masterson, Eric Vozzola, Jeff Greenblatt, Molly Coomer and Colby Hall.
THINGS THAT MATTER TeamWinsLosesWin %Post-TripsPoints Pt AgainstPlayoffsPost Pt Rob M7893.4568/121,2971,3323-71,448 Colby7073.4907/101,2921,2905-61,290 Molly 9378.5439/121,2621,2453-81,259 Eric70109.3914/131,17912652-41,317 Jeff3249.3962/61,1911,3050-21,233
THE MINOR DETAILS TeamTop SeedsScoringRunner Up1,500G1,000GHigh'sLow's Rob M00029.2%82.5%9.4%8.2% Colby01123.1%85.3%6.9%8.4% Molly 32122.8%78.4%5.7%11.3% Eric01113.4%76.5%4.0%12.1% Jeff00012.3%74.1%3.8%10.1%
First, let’s go ahead and cancel out the pretenders. Eric and Jeff have no business being anywhere near the word “greatest’ of anything. They’ve combined to make the post-season just six times in 19 seasons. For a brief moment in 2013, Eric appeared to turn a corner, but then last year happened and he fell back down to the basement.
Eric remains the furthest from the label. He’s last in winning percentage and points per game. He’s finished dead last three times and it took him a decade to win his first playoff game. Jeff isn’t too far behind though. He’s second-to-last in winning percentage and points per game. He’s also last in 1,000 and 1,500 point games. He’s made the post-season twice and is still searching for that first playoff win as a solo player.
Let’s move on to the true contenders of the title:
MOLLY If wins are all that matter, then Molly is your man…er, your woman. She has won 93 games, producing a .543 winning percentage. She’s the only non-champion to have a career winning record. She’s delivered an impressive three top seeds, two scoring titles and was league runner-up in 2002. However, the strike against Molly are the points. She’s just 9th overall in the league in scoring, behind both Colby and Masterson, while her opponents have scored the least amount of points among all current teams. Also, she’s just 3-8 in the post-season, winning just one playoff game since 2003. Among the non-title holders, she’s third in 1,500-pt games, third in 1,000-pt games and third in high scores.
COLBY Among the mugless, Mr. Hall is second in winning percentage, although he’s pretty far behind Molly (.543 to .490). He’s second in points, just five points back of Masterson. He made the playoffs in 70% of his seasons, the second best among these teams and his 5-6 record in the post-season is the best. He’s never delivered a top seed, but he has one scoring title (2004) and was league runner-up back in 2005. He’s second in 1,500-pt games, first in 1,000-pt games, second in weekly high’s and second in weekly lows.
ROB M Masterson joined the league the same year Molly did, but he’s won 15 less games than his vagina counterpart. He’s never reached a title game, he’s never earned a top-seed and he’s never delivered a scoring title, although he has produced the 3rd and 7th best scoring regular seasons the past three years. The fact is, Rob’s opponents have scored the most points in the league and that should probably count for something. Among non-title teams, he’s first in points scored and also first in points scored in the playoffs…by a mile. The problem is, those 1,448 points per post-season game has only managed to produce a 3-7 playoff record. As for the details, Rob is first in 1,500-pt games, weekly high scores and weekly low scores. He’s second behind Colby in 1,000-pt games.
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