ERIC VOZZOLA
There is no question who is the worst team in Robioland Football. It’s not even close, although Jeff is trying his hardest. Eric is dead last in just about everything: points per game (1,138), winning percentage (.367). How bad are his win totals? Colby has three more career wins than Eric in four less seasons of play and no one confuses Colby with being the grand master of fantasy football.
How bad is it? Eric has been in this league 11 years now and has only made it to the post-season three times. 11 years in and he still hasn’t even won a single playoff game.
Eric just sucks. It’s that simple and the sucking starts right at the top…in the draft…round one. Looking back at Eric’s round one flops is a truly painful experience. Just look for yourself.
2001 – Eddie George (TEN) – George struggled to stay healthy and finished 19th among all backs. Now top-20 isn’t terrible, it’s a RB2, but you’re not looking for a low-end RB2 with the third overall pick in the draft.
2002 – Marshall Faulk (STL) – Heading into 2002, Marshall Faulk was the top running back two years running. However, once Eric grabbed him with the top pick in the draft, he fell to 16th thanks to injuries that cost him four games.
2003 – Ricky Williams (MIA) – Ricky actually finished ninth, which isn’t too tragic, but also keep in mind, five of the next six running backs drafted after Eric’s pick (second overall) finished higher than Williams.
2004 – Rudi Johnson (CIN) – Obviously at this point, things get tougher. Teams had keepers, so sometimes people had to reach. Eric reached for Rudi, who like Williams the year before, finished 9th among all backs. This pick I can’t actually bitch about. Compared to other backs drafted in round one, Johnson had a solid year.
2005 – Julius Jones (DAL) – With the third pick in the draft, Eric thought he was getting a legit star. However, what he got was a running back who couldn’t even reach 1,000 yards, scoring just five touchdowns. He finished 20th.
2006 – LaMont Jordan (OAK) – I know what you’re thinking, these draft picks from 2001-2005 haven’t been that awful. Right, but this is where the fun begins. With the fourth pick, Eric ended up with arguable the biggest first-round flop in league history. After coming off a 1,500-yard, 15 TD season, Jordan crashed in ’06, gaining just 434 yards and two TD’s.
2007 – Shaun Alexander (SEA) – A year after the LaMont disaster, with the second pick in the draft, Eric took veteran back Shaun Alexander. While Alexander had earned first-team All-Robio awards in 2004-2005, his numbers dipped in 2006. However, Eric ignored the warnings and took him anyway. Big mistake as Alexander became worthless, falling to 38th overall among backs.
2008 – Larry Fitzgerald (ARI) – After seven straight years of taking running backs in the first-round, Eric finally had enough and took the top WR in the league. This pick paid off. Fitzgerald had a fantastic season, finished number one overall. He is the only first-round pick for Eric to earn an All-Robio, first, second or third.
2009 – Brian Westbrook (PHI) – In 2009, Eric got back to his roots and found an aging veteran running back to take. Westbrook had some great seasons in Philly, but those days were long gone. He slid to 54th among all backs. Major bust.
2010 – Randy Moss (NE) – Okay, fuck the running backs. Taking a wide receiver worked in 2008, why not try it again in 2010? Oops. Moss was not only terrible, but he was cut from the team. It might be the first time in league history a first-round draft pick was cut mid-season. After bouncing to Minnesota then Tennessee, Moss finished the year ranked 76th among all receivers.
2011 – Chris Johnson (TEN) – Now there was no way this was going to go wrong. Johnson was one of the top backs, if not THE top back in football. With this pick I was ready to usher in a new era of Eric Vozzola football. Too bad no one told Chris Johnson. After holding out all preseason, Johnson looked pretty average. Towards the end he got a little better, but by then Eric’s season was over and C.J. was shipped to Masterson, where he killed Rob’s playoff dreams. He would finish 13th among all backs by season’s end.
Now that’s the history of Eric’s first-round picks. It’s not a pretty site. Only three top-10 players and one All-Robio (Fitzgerald).
But this doesn’t tell the whole story because as we all know by now, one pick, even the top pick, doesn’t kill a season. It take a series of awful picks to wreck it. Real quick, let’s look at the rankings of Eric’s top three picks ove the past 11 years.
ERIC’S TOP-THREE PICKS FROM EVERY DRAFT
2001 – E. George (#19), B. Favre (#5), I. Bruce (#17) At best, George and Bruce are low-end two’s, while Favre is fine at five.
2002 – M. Faulk (#16), R. Gannon (#1), D. Staley (#11) Arguable Eric’s best top three. Top-pick of the draft Faulk was a disappointment, but he’s still a RB2. Meanwhile Gannon was a steal with the 24th pick and Staley was a low-end RB1. Three picks, three starters…good enough.
2003 – R. Williams (#9), R. Gannon (#33), E. George (#22) Gannon’s can’t repeat his 2002 and 2003 George was worse even than 2001 George.
2004 – R. Johnson (#9), H. Ward (#22), T. Jones (#17) Three starters, but no studs.
2005 – J. Jones (#20), M. Harrison (#8), C. Brown (#18) Only Harrison cracks the top-10, but there is no way any team wants a starting backfield of Jones/Brown.
2006 – L. Jordan (#55), M. Harrison (#1), T. Brady (#6) Eliminate Jordan and picks two and three are solid. Harrison becomes the second All-Robio player drafted by Eric in the first three rounds.
2007 – S. Alexander (#38), R. Brown (#24), L. Fitzgerald (#6) Outside of Fitzgerald, this is not the kind of numbers you want to see in your top three.
2008 – L. Fitzgerald (#1), W. McGahee (#44), L. White (#23) Again, three picks and only Fitzgerald pays off. If only Eric could draft Larry Fitzgerald with every pick.
2009 – B. Westbrook (#54), R. Brown (#21), J. Addai (#9) I wil say this, in every single season so far Eric has gotten at least one player in the top-10. Of course if you want to win games, you would prefer more.
2010 – Actually…we will discuss this season in more detail in a bite.
2011 – C. Johnson (#13), M. Colston (#26), P. Manning (IR) I love the gamble when he took Manning, but it backfired badly. You just can’t afford to throw away a top-30 pick.
Okay, so one last thing. I want to take a look back at Eric’s 2010 draft because for the first time I am declaring it the worst draft in league history.
ERIC’S 2010 DRAFT REWIND
1. Randy Moss (#76) As I already mentioned, he was actually cut mid-season.
2. Beanie Wells (#56) He never broke 100 yards in a game. Got so bad, Eric ended up starting Brian Westbrook.
3. Joseph Addai (#46) KEEPER Sadly, Addai’s injury-plagued season was the best out of Eric’s first five picks
4. Mike Sims-Walker (#51) Was shutout twice in the 2010 season.
5. Steve Breaston (#47) What did we learn in the desert in 2010? Breaston is no Boldin.
6. Vikings DST (#14) Nope, not a starting defense in Robioland.
7. Ben Tate (IR) In both the 2010 and 2011 drafts, Eric grabs a guy who never plays a down.
8. Owen Daniels (#25) In a league that starts just one TE, Daniels is barely even worth a bench spot.
9. Braylon Edwards (#21) Maybe, just maybe you could start Edwards at WR2, but you probably wouldn’t be happy about it.
10. Ricky Williams (#41) KEEPER I’m not going to slam this keeper. Williams was a reliable backup in 2009.
11. Donovan McNabb (#19) Because of Brett Favre’s late arrival to camp in Minnesota, Eric needed some insurance…too bad this was a bad insurance policy.
12. Bears DST (#3) Not only Eric’s best pick, but arguable the ONLY good pick in the entire draft.
13. Brett Favre (#30) KEEPER He was fantastic in 2009, but awful in 2010. Career over.
14. Lee Evans (#56) Um, yeah.
15. Adam Vinatieri (#3) Good pick, but he cut him so we can’t give him too much props for it.
As you can see, a brutal, brutal draft. Only two “good” picks, one of which stuck on Eric’s roster. Brutal.
Quarterbacks Position Rankings: #19, #30 Running Backs Position Rankings: #56, #46, IR, #41 Wide Receivers Position Rankings: #76, #51, #47, #21, #56
What makes it so much worse is that somehow 12 of these players were still on Eric’s roster at seasons end. I feel like you could have cut all these guys, picked up just about anyone and gotten better. At the very least, Eric was able to unload a worthless Randy Moss to Calderon for Matt Forte, a player he should have again in 2012.
Comments