If there was a fantasy football George Clooney it would easily be Bob. Nothing goes wrong for this guy, even when he tries (like swapping out his kicker for no apparent reason). Think about it, the three tightest finishes in this league’s post-season history all have one thing in common…Bob Castrone finding a way to win.
A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE
2004 CHAMPIONSHIP GAME It’s Bob vs. Griff. It’s a low scoring affair, but thanks to a late Chiefs rally by Griff’s quarterback (Trent Green), followed by an onside kick and a couple more completions, he has rallied to tie Bob 1,216-1,216 (he briefly had a two-point lead before a Trent Green spike cost him -2 points). Bob has Eddie Kennison, but he’s not doing much. However, with 10 seconds to go in the game, Green throws an interception. Ball game.
2011 QUARTERFINALS It’s Bob vs. the heavily favorite Masterson. Rob has a comfortable 258-point lead heading into Monday night. Bob has Steven Jackson, who hasn’t scored 258 all season long. 40 minutes into the game, Jackson has done little, until he turns a screen pass into a 50-yard gain (98 points). Later, midway through the fourth quarter, Bob is still down 80. The Rams have first in goal. The Rams try three times to get in without Jackson, all three times fail. However, defensive holding gives them a new set of downs. On first and second down, the Rams again don’t give the ball to Jackson, they fail. On the sixth attempt, they finally hand the ball off to Jackson, he scores a TD. Yet, Bob is still down.
All Seattle has to do is run the clock out. However, they prove to be too good, scoring in just six plays. Rams gets the ball back (the game is a blowout, but Jackson remains in). Bob is down 20 and with 90 seconds to go, Jackson takes a screen pass 14 yards. Bob takes the lead. Jackson goes for -2 on his next run and then is pulled from the game. Bob wins 1,625 – 1,623.
Now go ahead and add the 2014 Championship game to that list. So what the fuck just happened?
Heading into the game, Bob had been dominating the second half of the season, breaking the all-time scoring record for a full season. Yet, in the title game, his team comes up a little short. Yet, thanks to the Rams DST imploding Sunday afternoon, Bob still has some hope up 241 points. However, advantage Matt since he has Demaryius Thomas and Connor Barth going Monday night.
Yet, the Broncos get off to a slow start and by halftime, Matt has actually lost points (Thomas had 10 and Barth had -20 thanks to a missed 49-yard field goal). Suddenly, advantage Bob.
Then the third quarter got started and Demaryius got hot. He caught six balls for 110 yards in the quarter. Add in three Barth extra points and Matt was now down just one single point. Not only has the advantage swung back to Matt, there was no fucking way he was losing this game. There was no way Thomas wasn’t catching another ball.
Yet…this is Bob we are talking about.
“Don’t worry Bob, I got you covered.” ~ Jesus.
For the first seven minutes of the fourth quarter, the Broncos had the ball twice, but Manning only threw to Thomas one time. That one was intercepted by Pacman Jones.
However, with 7:11 on the clock, Manning hits Thomas for a 27-yard game (+54 points). Ball game! No, there is a flag. Offensive face mask on Thomas. When you see the second replay, you do see him get his finger in the face mask, but that split second penalty was costly.
Still though, plenty of time and thanks to another Manning interception returned for a touchdown, the Bengals would go into prevent mode up nine points.
With 2:05 on the clock, the Bengals D drops back deep, Demaryius Thomas runs a simple short crossing around. No defender is within five yards of him. Manning throws him the ball and he fucking drops it.
Yet..despite all this, Manning still manages to drive the Broncos into the red zone. Jon Gruden is calling for a field goal now (they need both a field goal and TD). All Manning has to do is not turn it over and Matt’s kicker gets either an easy field goal or an extra point to win the game. What happens? You know what happens. Manning looks for Thomas, but instead finds a Bengal. Interception. Ball Game. Bob becomes the first one-point champion in league history.
Now before I shower Bob with praise, I always want to talk about the loser first.
“God hates me.” Matt (via text message).
This defeat will probably depress Matt for a long time. I can’t blame him, but the fact is, it’s hard to argue that he made any wrong decision. Yes, if he would have started Philip Rivers over Matt Sanchez, he would have won, but I also would have started Sanchez vs the Redskins over Rivers vs. the 49ers.
If you want to blame anyone for the loss, blame the Rams DST, who delivered the second worst championship game performance in league history with -72 points (Aaron Brooks scored -111 in the 2001 title game, yet his team actually won despite of him). Still, who wouldn’t have started the Rams this week? They’ve been amazing lately and while the Giants could put up some points, they also turned the ball over a ton this year. So again, I refuse to call it a mistake.
In the end though, Matt had a fantastic season. His 23,512 total points are the 8th most points scored in a full season and the second most scored by a non-champion (2011 Eric has that record).
The one irony of it all is, Matt loves to trade (he’s third all-time behind Colby and myself), yet he’s had his most successful seasons when he’s just drafted well and traded minimally. Dez Bryant became just the second player to be traded to Matt that season and start in a title game for him.
Now on to George Clooney…I mean Bob.
Without a doubt Bob climbs back on top as the league’s top team, after earning his third title in five seasons. He’s now 4-0 in championship games and this season was his best ever. He earned his first top seed, his first scoring title and ended up scoring the most points ever in a full season, beating Matt’s 2009 record by 660 points, becoming the first person to break 25,000 points in a season (25,509).
While his 2014 will always be remembered for his week 11 trades that landed him Le’Veon Bell and Calvin Johnson (and had an impact in the title game), let’s not forget this was a stud team before the trades. At that time he was 9-2, first in the league and first in scoring.
Yet, we can’t talk about how Bob won another title without talking about the Bob strategy. Of course I’m talking about his draft strategy. In what’s become a typical Bob draft, he ignored the running backs again in round one of the draft, traded down to get Aaron Rodgers. Three of his first four picks this season ended up being the 3rd best QB (Rodgers), the best WR (Antonio Brown) and in the fourth round he kept Rob Gronkowski, the top tight end in football.
Of course, avoiding running backs is his strategy and has been for a while now. He hasn’t touched a RB in round one since drafting Willie Parker in 2008. In fact, in his last six drafts he’s taken just four running backs among his first three picks (that’s 18 players). Bob’s success comes down to his ability to find running backs later in the draft (Chris Johnson back in 2008, Lamar Miller this season), or have them as keepers (Johnson again, Ellington this year) or pick up one via free agency later in the season (C.J. Anderson who eventually help land him Bell). When he’s been successful at it, he wins championships. It’s that simple.
I’ll update the season’s ranked document sometime in the new few weeks, but it’s pretty clear that when I’m done with it, Bob’s 2014 season will be the GREATEST SEASON EVER IN ROBIOLAND.
Congratulations.
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