It’s time to recap what I had to say to you subjects week to week.

WEEK ONE

COLBY (L) ROBIO (W) 1275.0 – 1656.0 MATT (W) BOB (L) 1708.0 – 1229.0 ERIC (L) RICH C (W) 1202.0 – 1609.0 JEFF (L) ROB M (W) 1695.0 – 1897.0 MICHAEL (W) GRIFF (L) 1724.0 – 1074.0 DON (W) RICH B (L) 1175.0 – 903.0

It’s the first Tuesday Thought after week one and let me just tell everyone who suffered through a defeat, the same thing I told Griff once when he woke up next to a dead hooker at a Holiday Inn…don’t panic!

Don’t be like a Neatock, who screams for a complete rebuild after watching his Eagles struggle for a quarter of football. Don’t be like me and go trade arguably the greatest fantasy quarterback ever because you got zero points from your wide receivers. Don’t be like Don, because…let’s be honest, no one wants to be like Don.

It’s one week. That’s all. Championships are not won in week one, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make wholesale changes to my rankings from one week to the next. Let’s be honest, I’m not known for my convictions.

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) For Rich, the rich got richer at wide receiver. DeAndre Hopkins looked like the league’s top wideout with a pair of touchdowns (342 points). Thielen didn’t do much, but did lead the Vikings in receiving and scored the only receiving touchdown. Mark Andrew caught all eight of his targets for 108 yards. On top of that, Calderon got 206 points off his bench from Josh Gordon and now his second round pick, Antonio Brown, is a member of the Patriots. Christ, if only he could go five-wide.

Of course, he might need all these receivers if the running backs can’t dominate. The big mystery heading into the season was Todd Gurley. I’m not an expert on timeshares, but that sure looked like one deployed by the Rams. Gurley only got 14 carries (although produced a solid 97 yards), while Malcolm Brown got 11 carries (and 53 yards). The problem was, Brown got both scores and got the goal line carries.

2. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) It was just one game and that one game was against a franchise desperate to finish 0-16, but damn, that was one good game. Lamar Jackson showed his quarterback skills to lead all quarterbacks with 518 fantasy points. He did that playing around three quarters of ball, throwing five touchdown passes and running just three times for six yards.

Say what you want about my decision making skills, I’ve sort of mastered the late-round quarterback. In 2017, it was Deshaun Watson. Last year it was Mahomes. This year, I snagged Lamar.

3. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) Plenty of good news for our defending champ. T.Y. Hilton looked like a legit WR1. Fournette got 17 touches and Wentz seems to like his new DeSean Jackson toy. Of course, this team will ride or die with Barkley. The Giants back at times was the Giants only offense, producing 120 yards rushing on only 11 carries. He was targeted six times, but man, it sure seemed like he was targeted a lot more than that.

4. Dudelove (Michael) Michael steps into the league making Griff miss facing his ex, after handing the league’s second longest member a nearly 700-point defeat in week one. It was made easy by the fact that Mike got three 300-point games by both his backs and Keenan “girls can’t play football” Allen.

Of course, we’ll have to keep our eye on Jared Goff. He did not deliver a ton of stats this week, needing 39 passes to produced just 186 yards. He scored once and tossed an interception, which seems to be his new norm now. Since week 12 of last year, Goff has just 8 touchdowns and 9 interceptions (and four of those touchdowns came against the 49ers in week 17 of last year).

5. Kamara Sutra (Don) This week, Don is the league’s fortunate soul, as the league’s lowest scoring winner. He would have beaten only two teams this week. Luckily, he was facing one of those two.

Of course, it wasn’t really bad play or bad decision making that cost Don his stats. He benched his second round pick for Tom Brady and earned 126 more points for that decision. The issue is that he lost two stars early in each of their games. Joe Mixon carried the ball just six times before leaving with an ankle injury. Worse yet, the league’s top receiver from last year (Tyreek Hill) caught just two passes before injuring a collarbone).

5. Kamara Sutra (Don) This week, Don is the league’s fortunate soul, as the league’s lowest scoring winner. He would have beaten only two teams this week. Luckily, he was facing one of those two.

Of course, it wasn’t really bad play or bad decision making that cost Don his stats. He benched his second round pick for Tom Brady and earned 126 more points for that decision. The issue is that he lost two stars early in each of their games. Joe Mixon carried the ball just six times before leaving with an ankle injury. Worse yet, the league’s top receiver from last year (Tyreek Hill) caught just two passes before injuring a collarbone). Of course, replacing Hill could prove easy. Sitting on his bench was Marquise Brown. The rookie wideout caught four balls for 147 yards and two scores. His 414 led all receivers in week one.

6. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) The stars came out to shine for the four-time winner of “Best Team Name.” Masterson, who has made week one his bitch (16-2), scored the week’s highest score. The 1,897 was a record high for him in week one and the first time he’s had a weekly high score in week one. With 21 career high scores in 198 games, Rob is now third all-time in week high score percentage.

For about a half, Drew Brees did look washed up. He had just over 100 yards passing, never tossing it more than 15 yards down the field, with no scores and one interception. In the second half, he lit up the Texans D like he has always done.

Yet, the most impressive performance was from Rob’s two backs. No one is shocked that McCaffrey dominated. His 538 was a league high, as he totaled 209 yards and two scores for the Panthers. This is why he was my preseason favorite to finish as the league’s top back. What I didn’t have was Marlon Mack converting 25 carries into 174 yards rushing, which makes him the league’s leading rusher through one.

Show me it wasn’t a fluke next week and I’ll be the first one to ride the Masterson bandwagon.

7. Eleven (Jeff) Remember when I said that Jeff wouldn’t do well this season because he didn’t have legit RB1s in his backfield? Weird, right? Because he got a pair of 400-point efforts from Henry and Ekeler. The only reason he lost this week was because he faced the one dude who could out-produce him at RB, Masterson. Rob got 966 from his backs, compared to Jeff’s 926.

Thus, Jeff is this week’s unluckiest team, scoring enough to beat seven other teams in the league, yet walked away with a defeat.

8. Cable News Pundits (Colby) Patrick Mahomes Mahome’d to the tune of 436, which is impressive since the Chiefs hit the brakes midway through the third quarter. Mahomes had over 300 yards passing at the half, but finished with just 378.

Yet, not all is well on Cable News. The running back situation went from unsure to concerning. Devonta Freeman couldn’t carry a bucket of water, let alone the load in the Falcons backfield. He got just eight of the team’s 15 carries and fumbled one of those away. Meanwhile, Duke Johnson actually produced well, delivering 90 yards on just 13 touches, but it was Carlos Hyde who actually led the team in carries and he carried the ball well (10-83-0).

Like last year, Colby might have to turn back to Matt Breida. Tevin Coleman rolled his ankle and is already out for week two’s trip to Cincinnati.

9. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) For Eric, his two biggest names failed to show and that is typically too much to overcome. In Minnesota, the Vikings jumped all over the Falcons, pounding them into submission. Thus, Kirk Cousins only passed the ball 10 times. Eric had Stefon Diggs, who caught his only two targets for 37 yards.

Meanwhile, Cam Newton looked awful at home against the Rams. He needed 39 passes to throw for 239 yards, as accuracy downfield continues to haunt him. He also was sacked three times and turned it over twice, delivering a week low for a starting quarterback, 68 points.

Yet, not all was bad news for Eric. Josh Jacobs looks like the real deal. Against what is supposed to be a solid Broncos D, he shredded them for 113 yards and two scores. He got 23 of the Raiders’ 26 carries, including goal line and was the only back to catch a ball. He certainly looks like a pony Gruden is ready to ride and that’s great news in fantasy.

10. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) Burrier produced the league’s lowest score this week, failing to hit 1,000. He has produced the weekly low in 13.1% of his career games. With Pattini gone, that’s now the highest percentage among active teams. Also, Rich has failed to score 1,000 in 22% of his career games, which is also a league high.

A lot went wrong in week one. Julio Jones and the Falcons looked awful and now he already has a wrist injury. Patrick Lindsay is definitely locked into a timeshare, as he got 11 carries to Freeman’s 10. Worst yet, Freeman out-gained Lindsay (56-43), although Lindsay finished with more yards, thanks to his 23 yards receiving.

Yet, Burrier’s season will survive or die on the shoulders of Baker Mayfield, who was projected by some to make the jump to elite status. Of course, he was anything but elite. The clock in his head seemed to be turned off and he threw three awful interceptions at the time great quarterbacks stack the stats with a comeback.

11. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) The good news this week…the Cardinals know how to use David Johnson again. The former stud back looked magical, especially in the second half. He finished with 137 yards and a score. Of course, that’s about all the good news for Griff’s starting lineup.

Jameis Winston looked fucking awful, once again showing the world there isn’t an interception he’s not willing to toss to the other team. Worst yet, while Damien Williams did produce a decent 190 fantasy points, he ended up splitting the carries with LeSean McCoy, who actually out rushed Williams, producing 81 yards on 10 carries, while Williams had 26 yards on 13 carries. What happens when McCoy really has the offense down?

12. Hi Hungry I’m Dad (Bob) I have no idea who to put last, as no team looked truly tragic in week one. So, let’s put Bob in a spot he probably hasn’t been in since the 2005 season…last. Because…reasons.

In week one, Bob’s three-headed monster at wide receiver, best resembled a frightened puppy. Adams, Godwin and Lockett combined for just eight receptions. Fortunately, two went for scores.

Of course, the big news is that Melvin Gordon says he’s going to comeback between weeks 6-8. Yet, do the Chargers need him? Will they just hand him his starting spot back? Their current backs produced 219 total yards and three scores without him in week one.

WEEK TWO

ROBIO (W) GRIFF (L) 1652.0 – 1024.0 RICH B (L) MATT (W) 1188.0 – 1468.0 RICH C (W) JEFF (L) 1650.0 – 1355.0 ROB M (L) DON (W) 719.0 – 1246.0 COLBY (L) MICHAEL (W) 1312.0 – 1598.0 BOB (L) ERIC (W) 1218.0 – 1455.0

Two weeks of football are in the books and a few things really stand out. First, some NFL teams really just suck, led by the Dolphins, who have been outscored 103-10. Their strategy appears to be to lose by a lot and trade away all their first-round talent for first-round picks. Second, injuries are already making a Lou Anderson-sized impact on fantasy. This week alone, we’ve lost Darnold, Brees, Roethlisberger, a pair of Eagles receivers, Gallup, maybe James Conner, as well as the top two running backs in Kansas City. Add those to the week one infirmary list and plenty of fantasy teams should be getting nervous. Lastly, it appears the decisions we made at quarterback are having a huge impact on the outcome of these games, so let’s take a deep dive at the quarterback play.

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) Don’t look now, but the best team in the league just so happens to have the league’s top tight end. Mark Andrew leads all ends with 560 fantasy points, going back-to-back 100 yard games. In fact, he has nearly 200 more points than Rich’s starting quarterback, Aaron Rodgers.

QB PLAY – SHAKY Speaking of, the second passer taken in this year’s draft, has been a shell of his former self in this new offense. Currently, Rodgers is ranked 23rd, seven spots behind the great Gardner Minshew. The Packers gunslinger is having trouble slinging it down the field. It has taken him 64 passes to throw for just 412 yards (6.4 yards per throw).

2. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Zeke Elliot took just two games to get his sea legs under him, as he hit 300 fantasy points in week two, while James Conner failed to stay on the field. This week, Colby tried to include Aaron Jones in a trade with me, but I refused to bite. With Conner not 100%, that proved to be a rare wise decision by me, as I’ll be going with the Packers back against Mike. Jones bounced back from a weak week one to score 360 fantasy points in week two against the mighty Vikings D.

QB PLAY – ROCK SOLID Of course, the real hero of the Robio rise has been Lamar Jackson. Against another suspect defense, he rolled for 279 yards passing and more importantly, 120 yards rushing, producing his second straight 500-point game. Best yet, if he’s the real deal, I drafted him with the last pick in the seventh round, so he can be a solid category one keeper the next two seasons.

3. Dudelove (Michael) Don’t look now, but the new kid on the block is taking over. He’s the first expansion team to score over 1,500 in his first two career games, he’s currently the league scoring leader (by 14 points) and he’ll be part of a great week three matchup against me, that features two 2-0 teams that are 1-2 in scoring so far. Anyow, as predicted by me, Dalvin Cook is the NFL rushing leader, already hitting 265 rushing yards, averaging 401 fantasy points per game, thanks to a 6.5 yards per carry average. The big question moving forward for Mr. Love is, does he sent Smith-Schuster to the pine for John Ross, who has 720 fantasy points as the best receiver for the Bengals?

QB PLAY – FINE Jared Goff has not been good lately. I’ve highlighted his awful TD-to-INT ratio over his last nine games. At home this past weekend, he performed well enough. He got the ball to his receivers, who turned small gains into long ones, producing a pair of touchdowns (one rushing) to one fumble. Of course, Mike has Jimmy G sitting on his bench and he’s another maddening inconsistent thrower. With the right matchup, Garoppolo could get his moment to shine. Or, Mike can say, fuck it! Throw caution into the wind, rip off that red shirt and start Daniel Jones.

4. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) Points = stats. It’s a pretty simple concept. If your players’ teams don’t score, typically, neither do you. However, Neatock did manage to nearly hit 1,500, despite the fact his players played on teams that scored very little. In fact, between Fournette, Barkley, Hilton and Moore, their teams combined for just 59 total points scored this week.

QB PLAY – AVERAGE AT BEST A healthy Carson Wentz was projected to look like the guy who was tossing it around pre-ACL injury and technically he’s rated 7th among all arms after two weeks. Still, he has really struggled in the first half of football games. Of course, this week, he was hurt, down two starting wideouts and his running game featured 46 yards of rushing by running backs. If Matt is really selling, this might be a good time to buy.

5. Five (Jeff) Jeff, with any other schedule would easily be 2-0, so props are needed. His backfield of Henry and Ekeler is proving to be the best, as both sit in the top three through two weeks. Ekeler already has 163 yards receiving, while Henry has 80 yards receiving in back-to-back weeks.

QB PLAY – QUESTIONABLE Ben Roethlisberger shredded his elbow and is done for the year. Of course, not sure if it’s a huge loss, as Big Ben has come up small so far this season with zero touchdowns in his limited action. For now, Jeff will probably turn to Philip Rivers. The 37-year-old with 85 kids can still produce in the bedroom, but can he on the field? At times, yes. He hit 344 last week, but he can also flop it with the best of them, scoring just 178 on the road in Detroit.

6. Kamara Sutra (Don) Playing without a stud back (Mixon) and stud receiver (Hill), Don did want any injury-riddled team needs to do…survive. For the second straight week he was the lowest scoring winner. This week, the hero was Kenny Golladay, who scored 294.

QB PLAY – GOOD Two weeks in and Don has yet to even play his second round pick (Matt Ryan), making that decision look worse and worse every day, especially when you see some of the talent he passed up. Of course, Tom Brady, who he drafted in round nine, has saved his ass. The second oldest player in the league has had no problem delivering back-to-back 300-point games and with the Jets twice, Fins again, plus the Redskins, Giants and other shitty defenses on the schedule, I suspect Brady will be getting plenty of starts this year.

7. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) In a week where Masterson’s rushing attack hit earth like a thud, the question is, should he be worried? No, not really. Backs have bad days and one bad weekend doesn’t make a pattern. It’s clear McCaffrey is the focal point of the offense and is going to be one of the league leaders in touches. The way the Colts are feeding Mack, the same may be true of him. Sure, he only managed 63 total yards this week, but his 22 touches has to be encouraging. In fact, his 45 rushes so far this year is a league best.

QB PLAY – TROUBLE Drew Brees injured his thumb on a freak hit to the helmet. The good news is, unlike Roethlisberger, it’s not a season ender. Assuming his second opinion will be the same as the first, Brees is expected to be out about six weeks. That’s manageable. Unfortunately, Rob does not carry a backup and with so many teams with either an injured arm or in need of replacing a struggling arm, he could find himself in a bidding war for the best available.

8. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Eric earned his first win of the season with a nice balanced effort. Key Johnson scored 236, despite just 12 carries. A 36-yard TD helped. Calvin Ridley help light up the Eagles secondary, while Travis Kelce Kelce’D his way to 274 and helped to minimize the damage Mahomes could do.. Of course, a good quarterback decision could have made this win so much easier.

QB PLAY – AWFUL, BUT HOPEFULLY Cam Newton is broken. Perhaps because the Panthers are trying to protect his surgically repaired shoulder, Cam Newton is not running the ball. So far, he has -2 yards rushing on the season. Worse yet, he can’t throw the ball much better. He’s missing open targets and hasn’t thrown a touchdown in four games (dating back to last year). You know who is not having any of these problems? Dak Prescott? Sitting on Eric’s bench, the Cowboys quarterback has delivered 990 fantasy points. I know I’m going out on a limb here, but it might be time for a quarterback change.

9. Cable News Pundits (Colby) One week in and T.J. Hockenson is not the tight end version of Patrick Mahomes. After his stunning rookie debate where he caught seven balls for 138 yards and a score, he managed just one catch for seven yards. Overall, this week, touches proved to be a problem for the Cable News Junky. Newly acquired Robert Woods had just two catches, while Duke Johnson carried the ball only six times. On his bench, Freeman received only 11 carries in a game Atlanta led most of the way.

QB PLAY – ROCK SOLID Last year Patrick Mahomes dominated, scoring 25% of all of Colby’s team points, despite not even playing for him in week one. Of course, Mahomes is dominating again, accounting for 36% of Colby’s total team points. That’s probably not a good thing. Oddly enough, each week it seems like Mahomes could have scored so much more. At the rate he’s going, he’s going to have 5,000 yards and 50 touchdowns just in the first halves of games. But in week two, like in week one, the Chiefs took the foot off the gas. He’s had less than 100 yards passing in each of the last two second halves.

10. Hot Colby (Bob) Bob may not have a win, but he now has my vote for best team name. Colby “Skinny Loggins” Hall went years without posting an image on Facebook, but now I’m blessed to see him on my feed as much as the penis enlargement ads that typically litter my page. Anyhow, Bob is rocking 0-2 and hasn’t seen 0-3 since the last time he missed the playoffs, 2005. The receivers played well enough, but Le’Veon Bell is learning that the Jets are not the Steelers. Against Cleveland, he got a solid 31 touches (10-for-10 receiving), but couldn’t get to the end zone and managed 129 yards.

QB PLAY – OKAY The Texans offensive was supposed to be improved, which meant that Deshaun Watson wouldn’t have his ass handed to him week in and week out. So far, that’s not quite worked out. Watson has been sacked a league high 10 times and it’s hard to imagine a scenario where he doesn’t start to get banged up and beatdown.

11. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) It’s official, despite completely outplaying Freeman last year, Lindsay is officially stuck in a timeshare. This week he had 13 carries to Freeman’s 11 and for the second straight week, it was Freeman who actually rushed the ball for more yards. Of course, it may not matter, as the Broncos offense has scored just two touchdowns this season, which is the same as the Patriots defense this week alone.

QB PLAY – BAD With the addition of Odell Beckham, Baker Mayfield was projected by many to make that giant leap forward. So far, in his sophomore campaign, he’s taken a giant leap back. The biggest issue is completing percentage. He’s thrown 29 incompletions so far and has tossed four interceptions to just two touchdowns. With no arm on his bench, it appears Baker is Burrier’s ride or die and thanks to the league’s lowest point total, it’s leaning die.

12. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) Where to begin? O.J. Howard getting shutout is just bad. Michael Gallup getting hurt and now missing 2-4 weeks is not good. Then there is David Johnson. The stat line for the week is just awful: 7 carries, one catch for 14 total yards. The only saving grace was a 2-yard touchdown. With Damien Williams hurt, as well as Alshon Jeffery, Griff is struggling to piece together a competitive team. Going to be tough to end his six-game losing streak, which is tied for 15th longest in league history.

QB PLAY – AWFUL A week after Winston delivered 94 fantasy points and was kicked to the curb, Kirk Cousins looked bad for a second straight week. He scored just 146 points, turning the ball over three times, including an awful INT in the end zone that sealed the game. Who’s next? Matt Stafford?

WEEK THREE

MICHAEL (W) ROBIO (L) 1824.0 – 1657.0 DON (W) BOB (L) 1544.0 – 1209.0 MATT (W) ERIC (L) 1205.0 – 999.0 GRIFF (L) JEFF (W) 1519.0 – 1550.0 ROB M (W) COLBY (L) 1943.0 – 1305.0 RICH B (L) RICH C (W) 1319.0 – 1734.0

On Monday, we talked about history being made with four 0-3 teams. Let’s now talk about the winners. Four teams have also started the year 3-0. That’s never happened before. However, history isn’t only being made in the standings. History is also being made in points. Three teams (Calderon, Mike and myself) have all scored over 1,500 in our first three games and Calderon and I become the third and fourth teams to start a season with three straight 1,600-point games (Masterson and Bob have each done it once).

Last year, Colby broke the 17-year-old single season scoring record, averaging 1,584 points per game in a season where points breaking was the norm. This year, we’re on pace to score less total combined points than last year (-83 PPG), but right now, three teams are averaging over 1,655 points per game, which would obviously shatter Colby’s one-year-old record. Of course, once byes and injuries kick in, those numbers always begin to dip. Anyhow, on to the rankings…

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) Calderon remains the top dog because he’s done nothing to justify a drop. He’s undefeated, having broken 1,600 in three straight games. He’s never done that before. Yet, it certainly seems like he flopped hard with his first three picks in this year’s draft. Let’s just look…

First Pick | Todd Gurley – Seems like the Patriots offered up the proper blueprint on how to to put a lid on Todd Gurley during the Super Bowl. After a decent week one game where the Rams back rushed for 97 yards, but gave up goal line carries, Gurley has just 106 total yards rushing on 30 carries since. He has just one touchdown and has played no part in the passing game (4 receptions, 8 yards).

Second Pick | Antonio Brown – He’s done with the NFL and gone back to college. Brown played in one game for the Patriots and never started a contest for Calderon. I can’t see another team taking a shot at him this year. The only question that remains. Will Brown continue to occupy a roster spot on Rich’s squad?

Third Pick | Aaron Rodgers – When you have great keepers, it’s cool to reach for quarterbacks, but it seems like Rich reached for the wrong one. Aaron Rodgers so far is a shell of his former self in this new offense. He has yet to hit 250 yards passing in any game and has thrown for just four touchdowns. He’s the 21st best quarterback, behind four quarterbacks who aren’t even on a fantasy roster right now. Fortunately for Rich this week, Russell Wilson was subbed in and had one of the best games ever for a quarterback. He was responsible for four touchdowns, throwing for over 400 yards (rushing for 51 more). Without that switch at quarterback, a 402-point win would have been a 17-point win escape over Burrier.

2. Dudelove (Michael) As Mike’s wife will probably tell you, you never want to peak too early, but sometimes you just can’t help it. Right now, everything is coming up Michael, as he now has both the top running back in fantasy and the top wide receiver. The former of course is Dalvin Cook. He’s currently on pace to rush for 2,000 yards (plus another 400 yards receiving) in an offense where they’re clearly trying to take the ball out of Kirk Cousins hands. To put his stats in perspective, the three backs drafted ahead of Cook in round one are on pace to combine for just 2,048 yards rushing.

On top of that, Keenan Allen exploded this week with 13 catches for 183 yards and two scores. Of course, the production shouldn’t be that surprising. Allen leads the league in targets with 42. That’s nine more than the next guy on the list. Of course, the man who put Mike over the top this week was Mark Ingram. With his opponent having Lamar Jackson, the Ravens/Chiefs game was a must-watch. The Ravens ended up scoring four touchdowns, but Ingram scored three of them (to Jackson’s one), which proved to be the difference between a win and a defeat this week.

3. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) I came up just short earning my fourth career 3-0 start, although I’ve hit 1,600 in three straight games. What probably ended up costing me was an injury. With Antonio Brown gone, Julian Edelman was on fire, scoring 184 fantasy points just in the first half. However, right before halftime, he injured his chest and never returned. I have to believe if he played a full 60, I’d be 3-0 right now.

Right now, the only minor concern I’m having with my squad is the fact my backs are underperforming. Elliot did manage 139 total yards, continuing to get better each game. However, he’s scored just two touchdowns so far this year and that’s sort of been a problem beginning last year. In 2018, a season where Elliot produced over 2,000 total yards, he scored just six rushing touchdowns (nine total). Worse yet, James Conner has been a no-show so far this year. The Steelers running back has failed to top 13 carries, has not rushed for more than 43 yards in a game and is averaging just 2.9 yards per carry. For now, he’s riding the pine.

4. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) Chris McCaffrey returned to his glory ways. He totaled 188 yards and scored on a 76-yard run. He’s now hit 400 fantasy points in a game twice and he’s on pace for 2,400 total yards this year. Even Marlon Mack ran the ball strong this week and finished with 236 points. This is important, because running backs win championships in Robioland. Lately, Rob has dominated the second-team All-Robio spots with four in the last five seasons, but he hasn’t had a first-team pair of legs since Doug Martin in 2012.

Of course, you don’t get to 1,900 points without points from unexpected places. The Winston pickup proved to be brilliant. Despite his second half struggles, he did dominate the Giants in the first half, finishing the game with 368 points. On top of that, Austin Hooper has the feel of solid tight end. On the season, he’s been targeted 22 times, catching 19 balls. This week, he was a red zone favorite, scoring twice in a Falcons’ failed comeback.

5. Five (Jeff) In a week where both Ekeler and Henry looked human and Beckham might be wishing he was back in New York, it was Mike Evans showing up to hand Jeff his first victory of the season. Evans dominated the first half, scoring 472 fantasy points, thanks to three touchdowns. He only managed to catch one ball in the second half, but it did go for 44 yards, causing one of those classic moments that fantasy delivers. As a Evans owner, Jeff had to be happy for the points, but as a Giants fan, must have been feeling miserable for those yards. In the end, Gay missed the field goal and all was well in Greenblatt land.

6. Kamara Sutra (Don) This week, Don won with a sense of irony. It was Bob who traded him Alvin Kamara two years ago and it was Kamara who made the difference in Don’s first win over Bob since week one of the 2012 season. Sean Peyton made sure the Saints new quarterback got the ball into the hands of their best player. While Kamara got just 69 yards on 16 carries on the ground, he led the team with 10 targets. He caught nine balls and turned that into 92 yards. He scored twice (his first two touchdowns of the season).

Better yet, Don, who historically uses the waiver wire as much as Masterson uses a condom, actually worked the wire and got himself a decent tight end. Darren Waller may not be in a good offense, but he’s clearly Derrick Carr’s favorite target. The Raiders tight end has been targets 29 times this year, which is one behind the leader in the league at TE. He actually leads all tight ends in receptions (26) and is third in yards. The only thing missing on his resume is a score.

7. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) In a win that proved to be Neatock’s six straight (dating back to last year), he actually suffered a huge loss when Barkley left the Giants game early with an injury. Word is, it’s a high ankle sprain. If he was Darren McFadden, he’d be out for two years. Of course, he’s not McFadden, but he’s expected to miss 4-8 weeks.

Luckily for Matt, he has depth, thanks to the Bills cutting LeSean McCoy. Despite sharing touches with another Willams this week, while he dealt with his own ankle injury, McCoy rushed for 80 yards and more importantly scored twice for his new team. I wouldn’t expect 280 fantasy points from him every week, but he should be a suitable replacement until Barkley returns.

8. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) 999 fantasy points…that’s what happens when no one shows up to play. Eric got just 87 combined yards from his back (who touched the balls 30 times). Meanwhile, his receivers managed just 65 yards, despite the fact one of them (Kirk) caught ten balls.

Right now, this team just screams…average. While any number of players on this roster can put up great game stats, no one scares me. The biggest concern might be running backs now. Josh Jacobs broke out for a 346-point effort in his first career game, but his fantasy numbers have dipped each week. Kerryon Johnson has a 236-point effort under his belt in week two, but three weeks in, he has yet to rush for 50 yards in any game, averaging 2.6 yards per carry.

9. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) Should we force Colby to trade Patrick Mahomes away? Talk about wasting away. Sure, Pat and Colby produced the greatest one season point output ever last year, but could it be, after two seasons together, these two might produce zero playoff wins?

Much like what you’ll see below with Bob, while the quarterbacks delivers scores, the rest of the roster does not. This week, none of Colby’s skill players managed to find the end zone. In fact, three weeks in, Mahomes has 10 touchdowns, yet not a single skill player starter has scored a touchdown for Colby this season.

10. Hot Colby (Bob) Touchdowns. They’re worth 60 points. It takes 30 yards of rushing or receiving to match that production. It’s hard to win without them. While Deshaun Watson threw for three against the Chargers D, nobody else on Bob’s team managed to find the end zone. Worse yet, none even managed to reach 100 yards total.

Of all these failures, the biggest concern has to be Davante Adams. He was projected to be an All-Robio talent, but currently is ranked 44th among all receivers. Hell, he’s not even the top receiver on his own team (that’s Valdes-Scantling). Adams has yet to receive double-digit targets and has caught just 15 balls for 198 yards and no scores. Of course, the problem is the new Packers passing game has been a mess. Rodgers has not even sniffed 250 yards passing, averaging less than seven yards per throw.

11. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) This week, Griff put up his best numbers of the season. He had three players score over 200, as he broke 1,500 for the first time since week nine of last year. Yet, it wasn’t enough. Why? Sure, losing Damien Williams hurts, but Frank Gore filled in nicely (238). The issue remains quarterback play.

The Floridas are the only team to not enjoy a 200-point day from a quarterback. This week, Matt Stafford scored 196, which was a season high, but so far, Griff’s arms have delivered just 436 points. Right now, three quarterbacks in this league average that per game. Running backs may win championships, but you ain’t winning without a quarterback. Oddly enough Jamies Winston led Masterson to the weekly high score with 368. Griff cut him after week one.

12. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) While it must have been nice to get a taste of the old Phillip Lindsay, who exploded for 130 total yards and two scores, after producing just 132 total yards and no scores through two weeks, success for Burrier will continue to elude him like vagina eludes Greenblatt. The self-proclaimed playoff level quarterback, who spent the offseason bad-mouthing Daniel Jones, has been the worst starting quarterback in our fantasy league.

His best game was just 216 against the Jets (216 is a typical Mahomes second quarter). Against the Rams, he completed just half of his passes and couldn’t hit 200 yards. He has just three touchdowns on the season, compared to five interceptions. He’s been sacked 11 times. How bad are things for Mayfield? With his team down four midway through the fourth quarter on the Rams’ 40-yard line, the Browns decided to go for it and then decided to run a nine-yard draw play. Chubb picked up two yards. According to people smarter than me, no coach since ESPN started to keep track in 2007, has ever called a draw on a fourth and nine. The last time someone called a run play up the middle from that distance was 20 years ago. This just speaks to how little confidence the coaching staff has in their quarterback.

Perhaps Rich could try to improve his team with the waiver wire pick up. Or maybe not. So far in 2019, he has not only failed to land a player via free agency, he hasn’t even tried to pick up a player. This is amazing since he keeps starting a defense that has failed to score 80 against great offenses each week, while he has on his bench a non-handcuff running back who has zero carries this year and two wide receivers who have combined for six targets so far in seven games.

WEEK FOUR

ROBIO (L) ROB M (W) 1381.0 – 1512.0 DON (W) MATT (L) 1295.0 – 1268.0 MICHAEL (W) RICH B (L) 1496.0 – 1272.0 GRIFF (W) ERIC (L) 1340.0 – 1021.0 JEFF (W) COLBY(L) 1536.0 – 1186.0 BOB (L) RICH C (W) 1289.0 – 1480.0

Congratulations to the three remaining undefeated teams in the league. It’s happened 16 times before this year and no team that has started 4-0 has missed the playoffs. Sadly, we still have three winless teams. Fortunately, this is Robioland, where 8-teams get a playoff invite. This means all three of those teams are just one game out of a playoff spot.

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) In a day where his superstar receiving core produced just 64 total fantasy points, the hero for Calderon was Nick Chubb. The Browns back is now fourth in the league in rushing, dominating what was supposed to be a good Ravens D. He scored three touchdowns, including a 88-yard rumble, securing 546 points.

Of course, only Rich would dare sit the Patriots DST. Now he’s always been a roto-D guy, but it was surprising he sat the Pats for a struggling Chargers unit, even one facing the Dolphins. The moved worked out fine, as he gained 11 points. Still, hard to see too many time he’ll sit the Patriots DST. They’ve already scored 1,050 points this year, which would make them the 8th best running back and second best receiver in fantasy.

2. Dudelove (Michael) The difference between a win and a bad loss this week may be due to the fact the Rams fell down so far, so early in their games against the Rams. Goff, who now has more turnovers than touchdowns in his last 12 contests, turned it over four times Sunday afternoon, but thanks to comeback mode, managed to pass for 517 yards, giving Michael a solid 324.

Of course, it helps that the Bears top-rated defense was facing Kirk Cousins, who looks like a scared little girl lost in a pedophile convention. The Bears scored 264, giving up just one score and 222 yards against a team clearly afraid to pass the ball.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) McCaffrey keeps McCaffreying with another 400-point game. He’s easily the League MVP after four weeks of football. He’s the league leading rusher and is still on pace for over 2,500 total yards.

Yet, Rob can thank his two-game domination streak on the pickup of Jamies Winston. The crab-raper himself followed up his 368-point effort against a weak Giants D with a stunning 446-point effort in Los Angeles against one of the better defenses in football. He’s now up to 11th among all quarterbacks and is making fans of Team Soviet say, “Drew who?”

4. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Despite the second straight defeat, it was a positive to see James Conner finally put up some numbers. His 310 points scored, more than doubled his previous high on the year. On top of that, I was never sure if Cooper Kupp was good keeper in the fourth round. I only picked him up in week 13 of last year, when Burrier cut him. The fact was, player’s typically take time coming off ACL injuries, especially ones that happen late in the season.

Well, so far, Kupp is not only feeling any rust, he’s looking like the most consistent wideout option for the Rams. He has three straight 250+ games and is currently the fourth best wide receiver in fantasy (second in both targets and receiving yards).

5. Five (Jeff) Big win for Jeff, especially with the weekly high score, but what happens now? A big reason for Jeff’s surprising success in 2018 has been the play of Austin Ekeler (13th round keeper). Currently, he’s the third best running back in fantasy, with 270 yards receiving (first in the league) to go along with 220 yards rushing. His six combined touchdowns is tops among all backs.

But now Melvin Gordon is back. What will be Gordon’s roll? Will they go back to the way they were, where Gordon dominated first and second down, plus goal line? I doubt that, but the problem for Jeff is, what if it’s a legit time share? Will there be enough balls to go around?

6. Kamara Sutra (Don) Don seems to be nailing this whole paying attention thing. Despite Brady tossing up three straight 300-point games, Don send the Golden Boy to the bench against the Bills. While Matt Ryan failed to dominate the Titans, his 220 is a larger number than Tom Brady’s pitiful 70 points. Don ended up winning by just 27 points. It’s decisions like that, that separate the winners from the losers.

7. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) While losing Barkley this week was the headline, it was actually losing T.Y Hilton that probably cost Matt this game. Neatock simply didn’t have the pieces to fill in for Hilton, a consistent low-end WR1. Nelson Agholor scored zero fantasy points on zero targets in a game where Philly scored 34 points in Green Bay. That’s the ball game right there. If he catches one ball for 14 yards, Matt is still undefeated.

8. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) Griff finally got a performance from a quarterback, as Matty Stafford scored a solid 340, tossing three touchdowns trough the air. Meanwhile, David Johnson found some space in the passing game. He led all Cardinals with targets, receptions and receiving yards with 11-8-99 in a game where he only rushed for just 40 yards, while Arizona scored just 10 points.

This month of football will determine if Griff is headed back to the postseason party. Beginning with Eric this week, who is now the league’s lowest scoring team, Coomer won’t face a team that’s currently in the top-six in scoring during this stretch and this includes 0-4 Colby and 0-4 Burrier.

9. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Maybe it’s time to panic, as Eric once again scored the week’s lowest point total (1,021), handing Griff his first win of the year. Last week, it was the running backs who failed to show. This week, they combined for 500 points, as Johnson and Jacobs combined for 265 yards.

The issue this week were the receivers. Robinson and Kirk combined for just 8-78-0. On Eric’s bench, Diggs did sort of have a breakout day, catching seven balls for 108 yards, after catching 6 balls for just 101 yards. Still, a month into the season and I’m not sure Eric can trust any of his hands.

10. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) It’s been proving hard enough to win with a stud like Pat Mahomes, but it’s going to be impossible when he fails to throw a touchdown. This week, Colby finally got production from his traded pieces. Woods and Hockenson combined for 442 points and that’s with the TE only playing about half the game before getting knocked out with a concussion.

Yet, every week it always seems like someone steps down to fail big. Freeman (32) in week one. Duke (62) and Woods (84) in week two. Last week, it was Hockenson’s two points that bottomed out Colby. This week, after scoring 450 points over the last two weeks, Mecole Hardman caught two passes for nine yards and a fumble, finishing with -12 points.

11. Hot Colby (Bob) Proving yet again that you can’t win with just two players, Bob watched as Godwin and Adams dominated their foes, scoring 824 points, while the rest of his roster totaled 465 points, thanks to his TE, Kicker and Defense all failing to sniff 100.

Le’Veon Bell returns next week, but right now, Bob is looking at a career worse 0-6 start. He’s got Masterson and his two weekly high scores up next, following by the rookie of the year, Michael. Who knew that the secret all these years to knocking Bob out of the playoffs was inviting his long and close friend into the league. If I knew Mike had the power to steal Castrone’s mojo, he would have been brought in over Jeff in 2009.

12. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) What’s up with the Atlanta Falcons? Seriously. They continue to fall behind early and never manage to catch up. Their offense looks like one of the worst in the league, despite having what most believed was top talent at the skilled position.

Look at Julio Jones. His targets have gone down each week this season, hitting a low of seven against the Titans at home. He caught just four balls for 52 yards. Currently, he’s still a 3rd-team All-Robio player, but that almost feels like a fluke.

WEEK FIVE

JEFF (L) ROBIO (W) 715.0 – 1604.0 RICH C (W) MATT (L) 1865.0 – 1245.0 MICHAEL (L) DON (W) 1186.0 – 1246.0 GRIFF (L) RICH B (W) 1357.0 – 1522.0 ERIC (W) COLBY (L) 1443.0 – 977.0 BOB (W) ROB M (L) 2507.0 – 2105.0

For just the second time in league history, we have two 5-0 teams. The last time was back in 2007. That season, Eric began the year 5-0. He would struggle down the stretch, losing five of his final eight, but he would make his first trip ever to the playoffs that year. Former league member, David Hightower, was the other team to start the season with five straight wins. In fact, he would win his first nine (a record to this day) and become the first person to finish a regular season with just two defeats. Of course, neither won the title that year.

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) While things are chugging along and Calderon is currently one of a handful of people on pace to break the regular season scoring record, not all is sunny in Mudville. While Adam Thielen finally looked like the elite wideout he is (his first 100-yard receiving game), Todd Gurley and DeAndre Hopkins have not looked like elite stars.

Gurley has yet to rush for 100 yards this season, has only 14 catches (half of those came in one game) and he has rushed for just 110 yards in his last three contests. Meanwhile, after a brilliant 8-111-2 performance in week one, Hopkins has put up Marvin Jones type numbers since. He has 23 catches for just 236 yards (59 per game) and no scores.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) Go ahead and stamp my ticket for a ride on the Masterson bandwagon and it had little to do with his starting lineup this week. Yes, McCaffrey is a big reason for my new-found fawning. He is blowing the competition away at running back. He has scored over 400 in his last three, including 654 this week. He’s averaging 430 fantasy points per game. No back has averaged 400 per game in the history of this league.

Yet, what really got me on this wagon was the play of two bench players. I finally watched a full Colts game last night and man, I came away impressed with how they use Marlon Mack and how he produced. Against a decent Chiefs defense, he got 29 carries and delivered 4.5 yards per carry (for 132 yards). He’s gotten 20+ carries three times this season.

On top of that, Will Fuller finally had his breakout game. Targeted a stunning 16 times, he caught 14 balls for 217 yards and three scores. Health has always been this guy’s problem but he certainly looked healthy last night. If he can remain off the IR, then Rob might have to not worry about that WR2 spot anymore.

2. Dudelove (Michael) The Broncos doubled team Keenan Allen all game and the results showed. He caught just four balls for 18 yards, as Philip Rivers spent most his day tossing it underneath to Ekeler. Clearly, Allen is not going to score 36 points per game, but it’s a little concerning that the ball catchers on Mike’s team combined for just 10 catches for 71 yards.

The next five weeks will be telling. He gets to face Bob, coming off a record breaking performance and then follows up Castrone with four straight weeks facing playoff teams.

4. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) While both Lamar Jackson and James Conner refused to show, I dominated Greenblatt this week, thanks to my receivers. Kupp, who I picked up on the Saturday before the final game last year, and Thomas, who I landed in a trade with Colby. The pair combined for 20 catches, 299 yards and three scores, totaling 778 fantasy points.

While I do feel like my backs are not living up to my expectations and neither is a All-Robio candidate, thanks to Lamar, my team is actually first in rushing attempts (197) and third in yards (892), while still being tied for first in touchdown passes (11).

5. Five (Jeff) This is a yards league, which is why running backs still win championships, but for quarterbacks, touchdowns are the difference maker. This week, Philip Rivers tossed the ball around 48 times, including 16 to Ekeler, but he failed to score a touchdown. Right now, Jeff’s arms have combined to throw for just four touchdowns on the season, tied for league low.

Of course, how you earn the weekly low score and produce your lowest score since 2013 is getting a goose egg from your star receiver, who had scored 798 points his two previous weeks. It’s performances like this that keep Mike Evans from being listed among the elite. 500-point games are impressive, but this dude has too many duds in between.

Yet, the most distressing news has to be how Ekeler was used. While he did out-snap Melvin Gordon (41-31) this week, a lot of that had to do with the fact that the Chargers fell behind early, 17-0. Ekeler, who has been an All-Robio level back this year, received just three carries on the day. He did catch 15 balls, but much of that came when the Broncos settled into a prevent defense to protect the lead.

6. Kamara Sutra (Don) In a season with a third of the league is on pace to break Colby’s regular season scoring record, Don has somehow managed to avoid facing any of those numbers. He took on Masterson, the league’s second leading scorer, when he scored just 719. This week, he took on a Michael squad averaging over 1,500 and Dudelove failed to hit 1,200. Five weeks in, Don’s opponents have scored the lowest points so far. The toughest challenge he’s faced was Neatock 1,268 in week four.

Of course, what helps any team’s chance to add up the wins is to not turn the ball over. This week, not a single player lost the ball for Don. In fact, his starters have turned it over just twice all season long (one interception, one fumble), which is the league’s low.

7. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) So what the hell happened in Kansas City? Damien Williams returned and LeSean McCoy was completely fazed out of the running game. McCoy got zero rushes Sunday night and caught just two balls; fumbling one of those catches away. That’s not how you replace Barkley.

Yet, all is not lost. Barkley appears to be superhuman and should be returning soon. Meanwhile, Fournette has had no problem filling the lead back role. Since Barkley has been out, Fournette has received 52 rushes and has gained 333 yards and one score. Matt’s going to need those yards. Right now, his quarterback has thrown for just 1,152 yards this season, which is the lowest in the league.

8. Xerxes I (Bob) Bob is risking losing the award for best team name in an attempt to alter his luck this year and so far, Xerxes I is undefeated. I’m a big preacher of trades and so far, Bob’s trade has worked wonders for him. He shipped off Gordon/Lockett for Aaron Jones and Jones has delivered. He dominated the Cowboys with 182 yards and four scores. It was 192 yards, but he lost 10 on his final run.

Despite just having 78 carries on the year and averaging 3.9 yards per carry, Jones has eight touchdowns on the season. This will help Bob, who is dead last in rushing yards with just 535 yards through four games.

9. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Despite throwing three interceptions this week, Dak Prescott still managed 362 points, helping to led Eric to a second victory. He did this with two fourth quarterback touchdowns in a game the Cowboys were getting blown out. Fun fact of the week…those two touchdowns account for half of the touchdown passes Eric’s quarterbacks have thrown. This, despite the fact that his arms are third in the league in attempts.

This week, Eric relied on Prescott, Jacobs and Ridley all doing better than they did last week. In fact, those three combined to score 602 more points this week than last.

Meanwhile, Travis Kelce is back on top, as the league’s top tight end. Of course, he’s not dominating like he has in the past. Thanks to having just one touchdown on the year so far, Kelce is on pace to score over 400 points less than lat season in the regular season.

10. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) Talk about a tease, Greg Olsen, the 34-year-old Panthers tight end dominated weeks two and three, combing for 490 fantasy points. Since then, he has just two catches for five yards, getting shutout this week against Jacksonville. It’s the second time this season Griff’s tight end has been shutout.

Of course, his kicker failed him as well. Joey Slye missed a 57 yarder and a 46 yarder. That’s a monster swing. The difference of 180 fantasy points in a game Griff lost by just 165 points.

11. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) Next week, with Burrier facing Colby, it will be the official battle for the basement. While Julio continues to fail him, Burrier got big digits from his backs, as both Carson and Lindsay scored over 300 this week.

Meanwhile, Minshew is now the 10th best quarterback in fantasy, having not thrown an interception since week one. The best part is, the Jaguars aren’t holding him back. He threw it 44 times this week and has throw it at least 30 times in every game he has started. Fuck Baker, who has become a national joke. This week, his Browns scored only a field goal and he finished with -64 fantasy points.

12. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) First, congratulations to Colby. With D. Freemans’ 9-yard touchdown, Colby got his first touchdown from a running back this year. Of course, that was via a reception and five weeks in and this team still has no rushing touchdowns. Of course, none of it matters if Mahomes doesn’t show up. This week, Mahomes was roughed up at home, got sacked four times, hurt his ankle twice and threw for just one touchdown. To add insult to injury, the Jaguars scoring -17. They’ll become the 8th Colby player to end up on the All-Fail list this year.

The next three weeks will tell us how this season will end. He faces two non-playoff teams (Burrier, Bob) and Don, the league’s luckiest team in 2019. Five wins might be enough to get into the postseason this year, but Colby needs to get those first three now.

WEEK SIX

ROBIO (W) ERIC (L) 1929.0 – 985.0 MATT (W) JEFF (L) 1703.0 – 1248.0 BOB (W) MICHAEL (L) 1622.0 – 910.0 GRIFF (L) DON (W) 1023.0 – 1210.0 ROB M (L) RICH C (W) 1204.0 – 1692.0

Points. Oh so many points. Once again, teams are piling on the points this season. We already had Bob break the single game record this year last week, while he and Rob combined for the most points ever (Rob’s points were the most in a defeat). We have four teams on pace to average over 1,500, three challenge Colby’s record single season point total from last year (1,584), with two crushing that record through six weeks.

Calderon is currently averaging 1,671.5 points per contest (despite not having a single weekly high score). Meanwhile, I’m not too far off the pace, averaging 1,646 per game. With bye weeks approaching and injuries bound to happen, these totals should drop, but Colby’s record is not broken yet. However, we will probably break some points against records.

Four teams have foes averaging over 1,500, led by Masterson, who is facing on average 1,638 points per game. Of course, Bob’s record total played a big part in that. Colby has faced an average of 1,623 points per game. The lowest points scored against him were Burrier’s 1,443 in week five. The rest broke 1,500. Jeff’s opponents have scored 1,593 per game, but he’s the only person in the league who has faced four 1,600+ games this yer.

Anyhow, back to the point scorers. Like I had mention this offseason, while Colby broke the record for most points scored in a single season last year, he really just benefitted from a stunning high score season. In fact, he scored 9.24% of all the league points, which is the lowest any scoring champ has produced.

This season, total scoring is down from last year, expected to produce about 4,000 less points, which would make it the third highest scoring season in league history. Meanwhile, Calderon accounts for 9.92% of the points. That would be the most since I scored 10.09% of the points in 2008.

On to the rankings…

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) What’s most amazing about Rich’s unblemished record and record setting scoring pace is the fact he basically whiffed on all three of his top three picks. Todd Gurley has been a shell of himself and didn’t play this week. Aaron Rodgers has been fine, but has been benched for Russell Wilson and we all know Antonio Brown is gone.

Of course, now the real fun begins. Nick Chubb has been Rich’s prized possession. His 617 rushing yards is second only to McCaffrey, as he is on pace for a second-team All-Robio year. Yet, Kareem Hunt is now on the verge of return and the Browns offense could certainly use some help. Personally, I don’t think Hunt is going to hurt Chubb’s fantasy stats, but just ask how happy Jeff is to have Melvin Gordon back from his holdout. He’s basically turned Ekeler into a fantasy afterthought.

2. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Now that’s the kind of running production I expected when I put this team together. Thanks to James Conner finally breaking out, I got a pair of 300-point efforts from my two backs, as Conner and Elliot combined for 722 fantasy points.

Of course, life is a lot easier when Lamar is willing to run for a win. The Ravens quarterback rushed for 152 yards against the Bengals. He has 460 rushing yards on the season and is on pace to rush for over 1,200, while passing for over 4,000 yards. This explains why he’s now the league’s top quarterback  in fantasy.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) Even with a healthy Brees and with Mack not on a bye, Masterson would have been a dog to Calderon this week. With those two gone, Rob was going to need another glorified effort to pull off this upset. Instead, nearly all went wrong. Winston, a hero the past two weeks, gave up four turnovers in London and spent most of the day below zero. McCaffrey, who has been super-human this season, look only human, producing just 57 yards (although scoring twice). Lastly, Amari Cooper got broke and left the Dallas game after one three-yard reception. These kind of failures are enough to overcome foes like Colby this year, but that’s about it.

4. Dudelove (Michael) It’s official, the honeymoon is over. The rookie with the greatest rookie start in Robioland history, has now tasted defeat in two straight weeks and gets his first weekly high score. Welcome to the club. Personally, there isn’t too much to panic about, but let’s overreact a little.

Since he was the league’s top wide receiver in fantasy after three weeks, Keenan Allen has been a forgotten man in the Chargers offense. He’s caught just 11 balls in his last three for 99 yards and no scores. Also, Dalvon Cook has looked like the best back in football at times this year, but now twice in the last three weeks, he has failed to crack 55 total yards. His saving grace has been his red zone touches, as he has scored six rushing touchdowns on the year. Lastly, Jared Goff’s struggles are becoming painful. He’s barely cracking the top-20 among fantasy quarterbacks, now siting behind Andy Dalton. He somehow only passed for 78 yards against the 49ers on Sunday, getting sacked four times. He threw the ball just 24 times, after throwing it for 117 times the previous two weeks combined.

5. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) This week, it was all about good choices. Matt decided to throw in Adrian Peterson (over McCoy) and stuck with Robbie Anderson and both moves paid off. Peterson rumbled for 272 fantasy points and Anderson scored twice against the Cowboys, producing 310 fantasy points.

If Barkley can return and Fournette can start to find the end zone (just one touchdown on the season), perhaps this St. Louis Cardinals fan can become a dangerous team in the postseason.

6. Xerxes I (Bob) I don’t know how good Bob’s team really is. But I do know that Deshaun Watson just outplayed Patrick Mahomes in the boy wonder’s own backyard and that’s telling. Watson has scored over 1,000 points in his last two games, producing eight touchdowns to just two interceptions. He’s now the fourth best quarterback in fantasy, just 102 fantasy points behind Mahomes.

Of course, not all was sunshine and rainbows for the Persian king. A week after Aaron Jones scored 604 points, he coughed up a fumble and dropped a wide open touchdown pass in the end zone. From that point on, he split touches with Jamaal Williams. While Jones finished with 11 carries for 47 yards (and four catches for 13 yards), it was Williams who looked sharp. He rushed for 104 yards on 14 carries and caught four balls for 32 and the only score by a back. Williams scored over 300 this week, while Jones failed to crack 100.

Luckily, wide receiver has been a spot Bob has also dominated lately. Since trading away Lockett, Bob has gotten a 300-point effort four times in his last three games from a wideout, including back-to-back efforts from Godwin, who is now the top rated wide receiver in football. Take that, America.

7. Kamara Sutra (Don) Tyreek Hill returned to the field this Sunday, and while the Chiefs offense struggled, he didn’t, catching 80 yards worth of balls for two touchdowns. Don also continues to make good decisions at quarterback. This week, he actually sat Tom Brady against one of the worst pass defenses in football and played Matt Ryan and that kind of smart thinking paid off, as he gained 206 more fantasy points in a game Don won by just 187 points.

Of course, Hill and good decisions are needed, as Joe Mixon continues to look like an absolute bust. The Bengals back actually looked like a guy figuring things out recently. After a pair of 60-yard efforts, he rushed for 93 yards in week five. However, against the Ravens, he carried the ball just eight times for an awful 10 yards. Six weeks in and Mixon has no 100-yard games and no rushing touchdowns.

8. Five (Jeff) There was a time in this league when having four 200-point scorers in a week meant something. These are not those days. This week, the story was the running backs, or lack of star running backs. The Titans offense crumbled, as did Henry’s production. Tennessee’s beast of a back recorded a season low 33 yards. Worse yet, Jeff had to bench Auston Ekeler, for good reason. The man who was an All-Robio just two weeks ago, is barely part of the Chargers running game.

Since Melvin Gordon returned two weeks ago, Ekeler has just eight carries for 21 yards. Obviously, if he’s producing in the passing game, then he can still be valuable as a flex, but against the Steelers, despite being in catch up mode for a second straight week, he caught just three balls for 14 yards. Instead, Rivers relied on Hunter Henry, who just returned from injury.

9. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) If you want to understand the sudden resurgence of Burrier, look no further than the hardest working back in football, Chris Carson. Four weeks ago, Carson rushed for just 52 yards and fumbled for a third straight game. It appeared he could be toast, since he couldn’t hold onto the ball, while gaining few yards.

Yet, over the last three weeks, he’s reestablished himself as a stud RB1. He’s gotten 73 carries in that time (plus nine catches) and has produced three straight 100 yard games. He’s averaged 324 fantasy points over the last three weeks, making him the 8th best fantasy back in football.

10. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) You never judge a trade based on one week’s worth of results, but if we could, Eric couldn’t have asked for a worst result. He traded away Stefon Diggs for Josh Gordon. As we learned last Thursday, Gordon caught one ball, made a tackle and injured his knee. He was done for the night after scoring 14 fantasy points and is questionable moving forward. Of course, Diggs was having a bad year. He had caught three or less balls four times in five games. However, he did have a 7-catch, 108 yard game just two weeks ago. Still, Eric sent him to Rich and on Calderon’s bench, Diggs exploded for 167 yards, 18 more rushing and three scores (550 fantasy points). Perhaps a change of scenery was all Diggs needed.

11. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) While a week six defeat is never the end of a season, I just don’t see how Griff rights this ship. Damien Williams was the supposed to be the best back on the best offense that knew how to utilize a running back, but in his second game since returning from injury, he was an afterthought. He got just one carry, scoring his touchdown as a receiver). This is not good news for a man who has arguable the toughest final seven games down the stretch. At best, Griff might be the favorite in just one of his final seven games, as he faces six playoff teams, including all five teams currently sitting 1-5 in scoring.

This will not be the first time Griff has missed the playoffs two seasons in a row. He produced back-to-back 4-9 seasons in 2007 and 2008. Yet, in both those seasons, Griff nearly averaged 1,400 points per game and only struggled because his opponents led the league in points scored against both years. You can’t say that about his struggles last season and this season. Last year when he finished 11th, that was the worst finish of his career. This year, I don’t see three wins on his schedule. This is a stunning downfall for a man who in 2015, was the league champion, stacked with keepers, being talk about as the king of Robioland.

12. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) Last year, it was nearly impossible for Colby to win unless Mahomes put up big digits. This year, it’s proving to be simply impossible. For the second straight contest, at home no less, Mahomes failed to score at least 300 fantasy points. Against the Texans D, he only threw for 41 yards in the second half, failing to toss it for 300 for the first time this season.

This defeat wasted away the first good performance by Devonta Freeman. While it’s still too soon to throw in the towel, if Freeman can get hot, at least he could prove to be trade bait for a decent keeper in 2020. For now, Colby has dropped seven straight games dating back to last year. One more defeat and he’ll tie five others for 8-straight (7th longest losing streak in league history).

WEEK SEVEN

RICH B (L) ROBIO (W) 994.0 – 1413.0 ERIC (W) JEFF (L) 1400.0 – 1349.0 RICH C (W) MICHAEL (L) 1661.0 – 1201.0 BOB (W) GRIFF (L) 1294.0 – 1217.0 COLBY (W) DON (L) 1083.0 – 1012.0 MATT (W) ROB M (L) 1231.0 – 1159.0

Seven weeks in and what the Patriots defense is doing is historical and deserves it’s own paragraph. On the season, opposing quarterbacks have a passer rating of 35.8. A incomplete pass has a passer rating of 39.6. The rest of the NFL has allowed a passer rating of 93.3. Opposing quarterbacks this season are 120-for-229, 1,173 yards, one touchdown to 18 interceptions. It’s like we have the greatest dynasty in sports and they now have the ’85 Bears defense. Good times. Of course, this all adds up to many fantasy stats. Pats led all of Calderon’s scorers with 373, thanks to six turnovers, a sack and a safety. The Pats DST has scored 2,041 points. Compared to other positions, that would make the Patriots the best tight end by about 700 point, the best wide receiver by 300 points and the third best running back behind McCaffrey and Cook. Hell, they’d be the 8th best quarterback right now, 111 points ahead of Tom Brady and just 329 points out of an All-Robio award at QB.

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) Of course, dominating defense isn’t the only good thing going Rich’s way. With a second straight great performance by Stefon Diggs (7-142-0), Rich’s trade with Eric is looking like the kind of robbery that ends up a crime show in the future. The fact is, the Vikings passing offense has come alive and Diggs is looking like the elite WR1 he was projected to be. While I don’t often suggest teams using two wide receivers from the same team in a starting lineup, Diggs and Thielen might be the exception. Perhaps Rich is bored with the standard 55-yard Todd Gurley game and decides to go three-wide.

2. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Let’s be honest, there is nothing I can do or trade for that’s going to make up for the pain and suffering I felt all last season after trading Patrick Mahomes to Colby for Kirk Cousins and a cheese sandwich. That trade cost me too many sleepless nights and probably cost me a half of head of hair worth of sufferings. However, in a very small away, I’m enjoying a slight payback this season. With Michael Thomas, I now have the league’s second best wideout, averaging 304 in his last three. On top of that, there’s Henry, who Colby didn’t even really mean to include in the trade, but decided against bringing him back. Since returning to injury, he’s scored 320 and 194. Perhaps it’s time to insert him into the starting lineup.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) This week’s defeat does not phase me. A healthy Rob squad with no bye weeks would crush Neatock’s title defenders. Hell, if he realized Amari Cooper was playing Sunday night, he wins easily without McCaffrey. Once Brees returns, there won’t be a hole on this team, as Sutton has slowly sneaked into WR1 territory, scoring just six less points than Keenan Allen.

4. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) With the return of Barkley, we now have to ask, does Neatock have the best backfield in fantasy? Fournette has surprised me with his 5.0 yard per carry average and is currently second behind Cook in rushing yards (715). Yet, his lack of scores should be distressing. He has just one on the year. As for Barkley, he’s found the end zone twice in just four games. However, for him to regain his elite status, he’s got to get back involved in the Giants passing game. Last year, Barkley averaged nearly eight targets per contest. This year he is at 5.75. Last year he averaged 45 yards receiving per game. This season he’s averaging only 20 yards per.

5. Xerxes I (Bob) To make the playoffs for 15 straight seasons, sometimes you have to play great like Bob did in week five, sometimes you have to be good, like Bob was last week and sometimes you just have to get lucky, like Bob did this week. These are the kind of wins one needs when two great receivers (Godwin, Adams) aren’t playing. With the addition of Kirk Cousins, Bob has himself a nice collection of quarterbacks. Kyle Murray had a bad fantasy week, but he was coming off back-to-back 400-point games. Cousins has been brilliant over the last three weeks, completing 75% of his passes for over 976 yards, ten touchdowns to only one interception. With Watson still a solid starter, it’s only a matter of time before Bob starts pitching one of these arms in possible trade deals.

6. Great 8S (Jeff) Despite being down both Mike Evans and Odell Beckham, Jeff nearly pulled this bad boy out. Brissett dominated with four touchdowns (428 points), while Allen Robinson filled in with 234. Honestly, a good decision at RB2 and Jeff wins this game, This week, he went with Tevin Coleman, who got 20 of the 49ers 39 carries, but only managed 122 fantasy points. Meanwhile, Ekeler got just seven yards on five carries, but did manage 118 yards receiving and a touchdown. Week in and week out, it’s going to be decision time for Jeff.

7. Dudelove (Michael) I’ve already mentioned the giant hole occupying what should be a tight end in Mike’s lineup. However, WR2 hasn’t been much better. Of the four players he has rotated into that spot (Smith-Schuster, Ross, Shepard and now Fitzgerald), Michael has managed only 113 points per game from that second wideout spot. He’s gotten no 100-yard efforts from WR2 and none have scored a touchdown while in his starting lineup. However, two have left the game early with injuries.

8. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) Defense. It matters. Yet, too often, they’re given the afterthought treatment. Some teams try to get an elite defense and roll with them. Others rotate based on matchups. Both strategies have won teams championships in the past. What doesn’t work is ignoring it. That’s what it looks like Rich is doing this year. Nobody has gotten less from their DST than Burrier this year. In seven weeks, his Defensive/Special teams have broken 100 just once. They have combined for 485 points, averaging only 69 points per game. Rich has been outscored at that spot by 721 points. That accounts for 65% of his negative point-differential. If his combination of Ds was just one defense, they’d be ranked 27th in the league. Tough to make the playoffs starting the 27th best defense.

9. Kamara Sutra (Don) Remember that write up I did yesterday, showing how last season would have went if we just rewarded a win to the six highest scoring teams each week? I know Don definitely read it. Well, if I did that this season, Don, who is currently 6-1, would be 1-6. And if he would have made better decisions at QB/DST this week, he would be 7-0. Speaking of this week, so much to unpack.

Matt Ryan was awful, scoring zero points before injuring himself. I suspect he misses some time, which means it’s officially Tom Brady time (again). Joe Mixon’s stat lines are becoming a thing of legends. A week after rushing for 10 yards on eight carries, he decided that was too good, so this week he went for two yards on ten carries. At least Darren Waller is looking like one of the steals of the draft. He produced his second 100-yard game of the season, scoring his first two touchdowns, finishing with 372 fantasy points.

10. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Even with a win that puts Eric back into the postseason picture, bad news hits him directly in the gut. Kerryon Johnson, who has been effective when given the ball, injured his knee and is now week-to-week. With no clear handcuff in Detroit to pickup, I have no clue what Eric does to replace Kerryon. Drake? Perhaps Stefon Di… Sorry, too soon?

11. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) Griff has every right to wish rape upon the Cardinals rookie head coach. David Johnson was declared healthy to play. He traveled cross country to face the Giants. He started the game. He got the first offensive touch, a two-yard run. Then, he would never touch the ball again, as Chase Edmonds, Johnson’s popular handcuff who sat stuck to Griff’s pine, had one of the best outings of the week with 150 yards and three scores against a weak Giants D. That decision easily cost Griff the win. If the situation in the desert becomes a time share, this means that Griff’s most reliable back is…Frank Gore? Ouch.

12. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) A win is a win, but nothing about this should make Colby bust out the champagne. The Jaguars D proved to be the difference maker. Against a brutally inept Bengals offense, they forced four turnovers, recorded two sacks and scored a defensive touchdown. Of course, he needed nearly all those digits, because the running backs continue to be some of the the league’s worst. In seven games, Colby’s starting backs have rushed for 816 yards (3rd worst) and just one touchdown (a league low), all while his starting receivers have delivered just 1,336 yards and five scores, both league lows. Best yet, he now gets to do it all without Mahomes for a couple of weeks.

WEEK EIGHT

DON (L) ROBIO (W) 1470.0 – 1975.0 JEFF (W) RICH C (L) 1719.0 – 1417.0 MATT (L) MICHAEL (W) 1453.0 – 1509.0 RICH C (W) GRIFF (L) 1445.0 – 913.0 COLBY (L) BOB (W) 1208.0 – 1264.0 ERIC (L) ROB M (W) 1218.0 – 1795.0

For one week, there’s a new king at the top of the power rankings. I take control of both the scoring crown and breakdown and now led Calderon by half-a-point in the CBS power rankings. I’m two games back of Rich for the top seed and that’s going to be tough to overcome, although my schedule is favorable. Take away my 4-4 record in breakdown against Calderon (my week 11 opponent), I’m 30-2 against my other four foes in breakdown. However, Rich is 28-4 in breakdown against his other non-Robio foes remaining this season.

1. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) You know it’s a good season when you score 1,445 and it feels like a huge disappointment. This week, Calderon once again started the wrong quarterback (costing himself 162 points) and he was without Adam Thielen, who was hurt.

For now, I keep Rich at the top spot, although I’m inching closer and closer to him. Fact is, the Patriots D can’t keep up this pace, right? The competition is about to get a little tougher, so 250 per contest seems like too much. More importantly, does Calderon have the running backs to match me when my James Conner is healthy? Chubb has been dominant, but Hunt is back at practice and will play in next week’s game. If there is one team in need of a offensive shakeup, it’s the 2-6 Browns. Meanwhile, Gurley continues to rely on touchdowns for his points. Against an awful Bengals team, he rushed for just 44 yards. Without those scores, he’d be Joe Mixon right now.

2. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Today was supposed to be my day. Today, I was suppose to be soaking up the euphoria like a teenage girl rolling at a D.J. Keoki concert. Coming off a third weekly high score, I would wake up on Tuesday in second place, having passed Calderon in points, thanks to the league’s best quarterback, the two leading receivers in the NFL (Thomas, Cooper) to go along All-Robio hopeful Elliot. Meanwhile, James Conner was finally getting hot, rushing for 300 fantasy points in three of his last four. Everything was coming up Robio. Until with two-minutes left in Monday’s game, with the Steelers up 13, Conner injured his AC joint on his final carry and left the stadium in a sling.

A big injury was bound to happen. My team is good enough to overcome this over most of the teams I’ll face the rest of the way. However, my dream of taking over the all-time single scoring crown might prove challenging. Currently, I’m averaging 1,658 points per contest, but Calderon is right on my tail at 1,642. Sort of wish I didn’t trade Aaron Jones now.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) With both Calderon and myself averaging over 1,600, it’s obvious why he and I dominant the championship headlines, but Masterson cannot be left out of that discussion. With Brees back, Rob can match both of us at quarterback. With the top rated running back, along with Mack, his backfield is arguable better than both of ours. With the Bills D (allowing for this week’s hiccup), he’s second only to Rich at D. With Hooper at tight end, Rob has the better tight end between the three of us. At wideout, with Cooper back off his bye, along side either Chark/Sutton, he’s just a tad back of us at wideout. The reason why the race for the top spot between Rich and I is so we can avoid Masterson in the semifinals.

4. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) A nice decision by Matt to bench Wentz for Carr, adding 156 points to his final score, although it was not enough. Obviously, the culprit has to be Chris Boswell, who missed his first two kicks of the season last night. Those misses were a 160-point swing in a game Matt only lost by 56 points. If he makes just one of those, Matt’s 6-2 and in third place. Of course, not all fault lies with the kicker. While the backs did their job, combining for 608 points, his pass catchers also failed him. While Fournette and Barkley combined for 15 receptions for 151 yards and a touchdown, his actual receivers and tight end combined for only 9 catches for 112 yards.

For what is seemingly becoming a common occurrence, Goedert outplayed Ertz. He scored 104 fantasy points to Ertz’s 40. What has been a strength for Matt during his two title runs, suddenly feels like a weakness. Ertz has scored just 194 fantasy points in his last three games.

5. Six in the City (Jeff) All season, Jeff has seemed like he’s on the verge of being part of the 2019’s elite. He has three games over 1,500 and has really had just one bad game (week five when he scored a weekly low 715). Yet, consistency at too many spots continues to keep him from that discussion.

At quarterback, he’s gotten great numbers at times, but too often a 400-point effort is followed up by a 13-point effort. At RB2, it seems to be a weekly guessing game. This week, Jeff guessed right, as Coleman got four scores and 476 fantasy points, but we all know he’s going to score like 72 next week. Odell Beckham has been benched (at least for a week), as he continues to put up his worst numbers. If he can’t become a WR1 again, Jeff is toast. Even Mike Evans can be maddening. He’s got 1,710 points so far this year, but 63% of those points came in two games. Then there is tight end. Jimmy Graham has more sub-50 games as than he has over 180.

6. Xerxes I (Bob) Obviously, a good draft goes a long way. Keepers are important as well, but good decisions throughout the season is the difference maker. For Bob, deciding to trade Lockett and Gordon is looking like a boss decision. He landed Aaron Jones, who has a 602 and 572-point effort over the last three weeks alone. He’s now the fourth best running back in fantasy.

Of course, Bob is also the same guy whose decision-making has left him with zero in his lineup the previous two games. Last week, he threw in Delanie Walker into his starting lineup and he got nothing. This week he added Dede Westbrook and got zero. On top of that, he traded away Deshaun Watson. Cousins and Kittle combined for 336. Watson scored 428 by himself.

7. Dudelove (Michael) Smith-Schuster finally had a great game, producing over 100 yards receiving and a score. He had produced just 97 total yards in his last three outings. Mike needed nearly every point from JSS, as he pulled out a 56-point victory to end a three-game slide. It certainly helped that his opponent’s kicker missed two field goals. Still, three more players failed to break 100 this week. That’s 12 in four games (three per contest).

8. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) We talked about decision making and the impact it has on one’s season. This week, Rich decided to trade for a better quarterback. Watson ended up scoring 428, although he only got 28 from his empty tight spot. Still that’s 456 points. However, if Rich would have kept Kittle and kept Magic Minshew in his starting lineup, he would have scored 544 points, so he lost 88 points this week.

Speaking of decisions, last year Cooper Kupp tore his ACL in week 10. At the time, he was a high end WR2 and Rich could have kept him in round four. Obviously, there’s a risk keeping a player coming off a late-season ACL injury, but that still doesn’t justify why Burrier just cut him. We have IR spots. His decision to cut him, might have cost Rich a top-five wideout. I, of course, picked him up in week 13 last year and stashed him. After a 500-point effort this week, he’s now second in the league in receiving yards.

9. Kamara Sutra (Don) Joe Mixon sort of finally had a good day (77 yards, one touchdown), but with Kamara out once again, injuries continue to haunt Don’s championship dreams. Don remains last in rushing yards this season (722) and with Mixon’s score, he just doubled his rushing touchdowns for the season (2). If it wasn’t for his pass catching touchdowns (he had three this week), Don would be toast. His 17 receiving scores are a league high.

10. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Keep calm and no, it’s time to panic. I had hoped that a Kenyan Drake trade could possible salvage something for Eric, but now he’s headed to the desert in Arizona, which just smells like a committee that benefits no one. That’s not good news for a team that only had a 200-point scorer because his QB and wideout were facing the Fins this week.

11. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) The previous two weeks, Colby couldn’t have asked for better results from his opponents, but he was only able to capture one win. That will, of course, allow him to avoid the 0-13 discussion.

For now, he’s still in the playoff hunt, sitting just two games back of the final playoff spot. Unfortunately, other than seeing Griff in week 11, the foes will not be friendly. His other four opponents all have winning records and are all top six in scoring, including the top two.

It’s a sad fall for both Colby and Griff (who falls behind Colby in my rankings). Remember, these two were becoming one of the league’s best rivals, meeting in the postseason four times between 2011-2015, including the 2015 championship game. Yet, week 11’s matchup will probably decide who earns the first pick in the 2020 draft.

12. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) The writing should have been on the wall. We’ve seen this story told a million and one times. A handcuff steps in, looks like the next Walter Peyton. Thus, he’s slid into the starting lineup. Suddenly, seven days after he scored 480 fantasy points, he follows it up with eight yards on seven carries and a hamstring injury. Worse yet, it appears David Johnson’s ankle injury may be worse than expected, as it appears the Cardinals traded for Kenyan Drake, which will make Arizona’s backfield murky at best.

Officially, Griff is not eliminated from the playoffs. Two more defeats are needed to seal that fate. The question that needs answering is…will this prove to be a tragically bad season for Coomer? He’s got one win. We’ve had just one 1-12 team in league history (David). Seems to early to be talking about that, especially since Griff still has 1-7 Colby left on the schedule. Yet, the other four foes are all currently ranked in the top five, so I don’t see a game where Griff will be the favorite.

WEEK NINE

Freaks & Zeke (W) BOB (L) 1535.0 – 1248.0 ERIC (W) RICH B (L) 1680.0 – 1624.0 ROB M (W) MICHAEL (L) 1511.0 – 1256.0 GRIFF (L) MATT (W) 1282.0 – 1374.0 COLBY (L) RICH C (W) 893.0 – 1403.0 JEFF (L) DON (W) 1395.0 – 1648.0

Right now, the two favorites have to be Calderon and me. Or is it me or Calderon? This week, the two of us will face off. The game won’t have too much meaning. A Rich win would nearly lock up the top seed, which would be a surprising first for him. If I win, I’ll be within one game of that top seed and prevent Rich from having the greatest start to a season all by himself. What’s important is that we seem to be on a collision course for the title game. However, we’ve been here before and it’s never worked out.

In 2008, we shared a division. Rich won nine games, took the division and earned the two-seed. I won seven, but I was the hottest team down the stretch, earning the weekly high score in six of the final nine. We looked destined for the finals. I did make it, but Rich was upset in the quarterfinals by 7-seed Don, who eventually defeated me in the title game.

In 2010, I was the first ever 12-1 team, earning the top seed. Calderon was the two-seed and scoring champ. Again, the title game should have featured us. I made it. Calderon didn’t, once again losing to Don in the quarterfinals. I eventually fell to Bob in the title game.

In 2013, Rich and I both won 10 games. I earned the top-seed as the league’s highest scoring squad. Calderon wasn’t too far off (finishing 4th in points). This time, we both dominated in the quarterfinals and it seemed like we would finally face off for a championship. Instead, I fell to Griff in the semifinals. Rich would advance and take down Coomer for his first title.

And here we go again…round four…

THE CONTENDERS

1. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) It’s official, I have removed Calderon from the top spot, despite the fact he’s just tied the record for greatest start to a season. There are just too many factors to ignore. I’m first in points. I’m now 5-4 against him in head-to-head breakdown and would have taken three of the last four. I also feel like my team has gotten stronger as the season has come along.

Trading has been the key. I began the year starting Julian Edelman and Rob Woods at wide receiver and now I have Michael Thomas and Julio Jones, along with All-Robio contender, Cooper Kupp. Even a healthy Hunter Henry feels like an upgrade at tight end over Engram. Barring injuries, I just don’t see how this team is not one of the two favorites to win it all.

2. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) Despite scoring over 1,400 yet again, Rich’s squad actually looked human. Fact is, Wilson’s 584 covered up a lot of shallow performances. Chubb averaged under four yards per carry for just the second time this year and failed to score for the third time in four weeks. Diggs reverted back to his Eric days and Hopkins got back to his short pass ways, averaging just six yards on his eight catches this week. At tight end, Andrews has just four catches for 60 yards over the last two weeks and the Patriots DST finally faced a good offense and struggled. This all just means Rich is going to score over 2,500 next week.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) It’s just two games and he only managed 40 yards on 14 carries this past week, but David Montgomery has become a functional fantasy running back. Over his last two, he has produced 626 fantasy points. Does he now get starter consideration? Perhaps just play him every other game. In Mack’s games 1, 3, 5 and 7, he averages 300 points per game. In games 2, 4, 6, 8 he averages only 124 points per game. That’s call winning research right there, baby! Perhaps he’s trade bait. Rob’s been good at WR2, but could he improve at that spot? Masterson’s last trade was 2015.

SMELLS LIKE SEMIFINALS

4. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) Neatock is now without T.Y. Hilton for probably a month. However, with a 6-3 record, there’s no reason to think big and shake up his lineup. He’s not catching anyone for the top seed and it would take one hell of a miracle for him to miss the playoffs.

Hopefully when Hilton returns, he’ll be healthy. Receiver hasn’t been a season killer for this squad, but it’s hard to see Matt ever being a real title threat with this pass catchers. This week, Ertz finally had himself a nice game (9-103-1), while Moore scored 202 against the Titans. However, that is his first 200-point game this year.

QUARTERFINALS OR BUST

5. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) Despite a tough defeat, Burrier’s team is now built for success. He has an elite QB, a solid WR1 in Lockett and a top-six tight end. And all he really had to give up was a Julio Jones playing in a struggling offense. This is so not like Rich…you know, improving.

Now can this two-win team really rally? He’s two games out of the final playoff spot. While he’s done playing the big three (Rob, Robio and Rich), he does have four playoff teams remaining on the schedule. He’s probably going to need six wins to get in, which means this team will need to finish 4-0. That’s asking a lot, but stranger things have happened.

6. Xerxes I (Bob) Everything appeared to be coming up Bob this week, but so much didn’t go the way it was planned. Le’Veon Bell was facing the league’s worst defense and did fine, with 121 yards. But he never sniffed the end zone and ended up hurting his knee. Kittle also had a fine game that was followed up by a knee injury. His twin Packers were facing a Chargers D that had given up a ton of fantasy points, but neither could do much of anything. Combined, Jones and Adams produced 70 yards and no scores this week.

Still, this will be the one week Bob will regret at least one trade. He had to watch his former wideout (Lockett) score 424 fantasy points, moving up to 5th among all receivers. He had to also face Melvin Gordon. He has been a bust since returning from his hold out, but he picked a perfect time to show up, scoring 338 fantasy points against his former team. Without him, Bob is celebrating a fifth straight win.

7. Kamara Sutra (Don) With both Kamara and Mixon on their byes, Don pulled off an important win, ending a two-game slide. With Matt Ryan expected to be back from injury next week, we’re finally going to see what this team is made of. It’s going to be the first time we’ll see a healthy Ryan, Kamara, Mixon and Hill all playing together.

This week, Hill reminded us why he was the top receiver last year. Despite no Mahomes, he caught 145 yards worth of balls, including one for a TD. Meanwhile, Golladay remains in the hunt for an All-Robio. He just produced his second straight 300-point game and has scored at least 230 in five of his last seven.

8. Six in the City (Jeff) The talent is there with Henry and Evans, but you can’t win a title with a dynamic duo. With Ekeler continuing to play second fiddle to Gordon, RB2 remains a problem for Jeff. On top of that, it certainly appears Beckham is going to be a season long bust. He’s had two 100-yard games and scored just one touchdown, as his quarterback has thrown just six all season. This means Allen Robinson is the man and Sunday, he wasn’t the man, catching one ball for six yards. My Prediction: 8 is Enough.

9. Dudelove (Michael) The rushers did what they needed to do. Cook and Ingram combined for 42 touches and 260 yards, but lack of touchdowns hurt, as Mike’s receivers continue to be the rash on the ass that won’t go away.

Smith-Schuster and Allen were two solid wideouts last year. JSS finished as the 10th best wide receiver, while Allen was 12th, making them both low-end WR1’s. On Sunday, they each caught three balls and combined for just 66 yards. Smith-Schuster is understandable. The Steelers lost their starting quarterback and their backup is only slightly better than a half eaten sandwich. Allen has no such excuse. The Chargers “best” wideout, who at one point led the league at WR, has just 25 catches for 223 yards and no scores over his last six games. In his first three contests, he had 29 catches for 404 yards and three scores. That’s a brutal drop.

10. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Impressive effort and win this week by Eric, who earned his first weekly high score since week 11, 2017. If he had started Drake over Johnson, he would have broken 2,000, but while this effort will earn him a pat on the back, I’m not ready to jump him any higher on the rankings. I’m just not a firm believer that D.K. Metcalf is going to start delivering WR1 numbers each week. Now, Jacobs might be hurt and the last time I checked, you can’t go four-wide in Robioland.

BATTLE FOR THE BASEMENT 

11. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) Once again, it seemed like Colby’s best back was on his bench, while his starters continue to add up the All-Fail awards. Both Freeman and Hardman will place their name on that list and the Jaguars DST nearly did as well. For now, I’m keeping Colby ahead of Griff, despite falling back into last place. I still believe with a healthy Mahomes, he’s better, although Winston proved to be a solid replacement, scoring 308 in a near upset of Seattle.

12. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) Before we all start to get excited about the return of Damien Williams, let’s not forget…take away that 91-yard stroll, he had just 37 yards on 13 touches. Of course, the same week it appeared Williams might be regaining his hold of the top spot, Frank Gore shows signs of losing his grip in Buffalo. This week, the old man recorded just 15 yards on 11 games. Meanwhile, his understudy, who finally looks healthy, had 95 yards on 20 carries, plus another 45 in receiving. He also got the lone goal line carry.

Of course, this was all the more painful since Griff ignored a trade offer this week. If he had accepted it, 92-point defeat could have been a 246-point win.

WEEK TEN

RICH C (L) ROBIO (W) 1190.0 – 1919.0 RICH B (L) BOB (W) 1320.0 – 1632.0 MICHAEL (L) JEFF (W) 1078.0 – 1262.0 ROB M (W) GRIFF (L) 1387.0 – 1158.0 MATT (L) COLBY (W) 968.0 – 1228.0 DON (W) ERIC (L) 1350.0 – 1342.0

We’re down to three more weeks of fantasy football (the trade deadline is this week) and oddly enough, a lot is already settled. While 11 teams are still officially alive for a playoff spot, in reality, three teams have already clinched leaving six more fighting or five spots.

1. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Ten weeks in and it’s looking like I’m not just going to end Colby’s one-year regular season scoring reign of terror, but I’m going to curb stomp it. Right now I’m averaging a stunning 1,672 points per game, almost 100 points per game more than what Colby managed last season when he broke one of the longest standings records ever.

Best yet, I only have one more minor bye-week to deal with and I should be getting James Conner back soon. How good are things going for me? Both Elliot and Julio Jones were stuffed this week, yet I still scored over 1,900 points. I secured my fourth weekly high score this season and should be in the hunt for the final three. The record for most weekly high scores in a season is six. I did it twice in 1999 and 2008. Neatock did it in 2017.

Now having the first overall pick is a big reason for the Robio turnaround. History has taught us that. The person with the first overall pick in this league has made it to the playoffs in 18 of the 20 seasons (winning four championships). However, my willingness to not just ride a good draft and reshuffle has played a part as well. I’ve made four trades this season. I’ve swapped out both my starting wide receivers, added a new tight end and defense, plus it appears I got solid depth at running back (Gordon).

2. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) This week was not a perfect week. Rob failed to crack 1,400. Drew Brees threw for no touchdowns and got sacked six times by the worst defense in football. Marlon Mack is getting the touches, just not the production with Brissett out in Indy. Hooper may have a knee injury and the dominating Bills defense couldn’t stop an empty stroller from rolling down a slightly dipped driveway. Yet, I moved Rob up ahead of Calderon. Am I smoking crack? Yes. But that’s not it.

Let’s just do a side-by-side comparison. Quarterback? Advantage Calderon, but it’s to a weak spot for Rob with Brees. Running back? I’d take Rob’s RB1 over Rich’s RB1 and I’d take his RB2 over Rich’s RB2. Wide receiver? Rich has depth with Diggs, Hopkins and Thielen, but I’d take Rob’s Amari Cooper over all of them. Calderon certainly gets WR2 and DST, while Rob has a slight advantage at TE (if Hooper is healthy).

3. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) “Calderon’s team scores a new low” seems to be a sentence I’m saying more and more lately. This week, things got ugly. No, not “he would have lost to Colby or Griff” ugly, but Rich is certainly losing his grip as an elite. This week, Rich only got 148 points from his wide receivers. Yes, he was without both Thielen and Hopkins, but what happened to Diggs being great again? Worst yet, the biggest concern remains running back.

Chubb still managed a solid 242 this week (thanks to 121 yards), but let’s not pretend that Hunt didn’t impact Chubb’s performance. The Browns used the woman kicker primarily as a third-down back. Hunt was targeted nine times, while Chubb caught just two balls for five yards. Hunt also managed to average over 7 yards per carry. If he keeps that up, the question is, how many more 20-carry days are in Chubb’s future?

Lastly, the fall of Gurley continues. The Rams may claim they’re not load managing their lead back, but so far this season, Gurley has reached 20 total touches in a game just once. In his last two, he’s gotten just 22 carries and no receptions combined. Meanwhile, a pair of reserves got the ball nine times. At this point, how can Calderon trust Gurley in the playoffs?

Having said that all that, congratulations on tying former league member, David, for greatest start to a season (9-0). The nine straight wins ties three former league members for 9th longest winning streak in league history. Props due.

4. Xerxes I (Bob) Prior to this season, 19 teams had started a season 0-4 and only three times has a team managed to make it to the playoffs after that kind of beginning. I did it twice in 2001 and 2003 and Eric accomplished the feat in 2016. By getting back to .500 by week ten, Bob is pretty much guaranteed to become the next in line to do this. However, none of those previous three managed to reach the title game. Is Bob ready to be a first?

Amazingly, but not surprisingly, Bob’s in-season managerial skills have gotten him back near the top. If we had a in-season G.M. award, he’d be in the running along side me. Of the nine players he started this week in a win over Burrier, only his receivers started for him to open the season.

While Aaron Jones will continue to flop from time to time, he’s been way better than I expected him to be when I let him walk. Since week five, he has a 604, 572 and 366-point game. He’s now the third best back in football, blowing past Chubb and Elliot to land on the second-team All-Robio list.

I also like the fact Bob is not afraid to look his first-round pick in the eyes and say, “find a spot on the bench, boy.” And yes, I assume Bob would say, boy. It takes moxie to throw Ronald Jones into the starting lineup and the former Trojan didn’t disappoint. He produced 106 yards and a scored and would have cracked 300 fantasy if he wasn’t stuffed at the goal line at the end.

Speaking of decisions, Bob might have to make one last decision if he’s looking to have his postseason journey last past the semifinals. Bob let Watson go because he felt confident in Cousins. However, he also has Kyler Murray sitting on his bench. Murray has been redshirted, which means if he doesn’t play this year, Bob can keep him for three years in round seven (two if he does play him). Yet, does he blow the redshirt and put Kyler in his starting lineup? Fact is, Murray has been the better quarterback. He’s currently 9th among all arms, after producing his third 400-point effort since week 5. Cousins is ranked 16th. He had that amazing three game stretch in weeks 5-7, but he’s returned to earth lately. In his last three, he’s still not tossing interceptions, but he has no 300-yard games, passing for 220 in each of his last two. Decisions, decision, decisions.

5. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) In what should have been a bye-week for Neatock, his team crashed and burned and then crashed again. Granted, he was without Fournette, Edelman, Peterson, Hilton and Ertz, so certainly there is no reason to panic. With Edelman now on his roster (11th best receiver before the bye), Hilton’s injury is no longer a problem. Still, what the fuck is up with Barkley.

Saquon produced his worst fantasy day as a pro. Against a so-so Jets D, he managed just one yard rushing on 13 carries. Since returning from injury, Barkley has rushed for 72-64-28-1. Worse yet, he’s now questionable with an undisclosed injury.

With the Giants now battling for the second overall pick in next season’s draft, Matt needs to now start worrying about the team shutting down Barkley for the year, especially if tanking is in the cards. While Barkley struggling or hurt won’t keep Matt from the postseason, it will end Matt’s dream of the league’s first ever three-peat. Sorry, but there is not miracle trade that’s going to save this season.

6. Kamara Sutra (Don) Like Sensei Kreese said in the Karate Kid, “mercy is for the week,” and Don showed no mercy for his own son. With a stunning 8-point win this week against his first born, Don has knocked his only son from the postseason (for now). He did this, despite a productive Kamara and a poor decision at DST. Instead, he rode his receivers.

Tyreek Hill has certainly rediscovered his groove. He has 17 catches for 297 and two scores the last two weeks and produced 380 points in this contest. In Cleveland, all the talk was about Mayfield forcing the ball to Beckham. That didn’t happen. Instead, he forced it to Landry, who caught nine of ten targets, scoring a TD in his second game

With a second straight victory, Don has secured a second straight trip to the playoffs. Not a big deal if your Bob, but the last time Don went to the postseason in back-to-back seasons, he still claimed he dug chicks (2010-2011). However, if he’s going to have any shot to hold onto the three-seed or maybe even challenge for the top seed, he’s going to need Mixon. The Bengals continue to blow, but Mixon showed signs up life on D’s bench this week. He rushed for 114 yards (151 total) and has scored 516 points in his last two. If only he could find the end zone.

7. Six in the City (Jeff) Because Coleman outscored an awful Garoppolo, Jeff managed to hold on for a surprising win. Thanks to an Eric defeat to his dad, Jeff is back into the playoff picture with a 4-6 record. Of course, the real hero was Derrick Henry, who once again delivered a dominating performance. He nearly produced 200 total yards and scored twice, including a 68-yard rumble, giving Jeff a needed 502 points.

Unfortunately for Jeff, no one plays a more challenge final three games. Next up is Bob, followed by Masterson and Calderon. Of course, Eric, who is also 4-6, doesn’t have a cakewalk down the stretch. He play Michael this week. That game is a tossup. After that, he’s got Bob and  Calderon, two games where he’ll be the dog? Is it that inconceivable that both Jeff and Eric finish 0-3? If so, we could have our first ever 4-8 playoff team. That should be outlawed.

8. Dudelove (Michael) Prior to this season, 17 teams have started a season 4-0. All 17 made the playoffs. Mike probably will as well, although he’s certainly trying his best to be the first to fail. His saving grace is his schedule. His final three consists of zero current playoff teams, Eric (4-6), Griff (1-9) and Colby (2-8). Win one and that should do it.

Of course, the only way he’s going to do it is to ride Dalvin Cook like a bitch that he is. While the first-round of this season’s draft is littered with failure, his Dalvin Cook pick was brilliant. Watching the Vikings/Cowboys game on Sunday night, just showed the difference in how a good coaching staff utilizes their best player. The Cowboys strength is their pass rush and quick linebackers. Thus, Minnesota managed turn it all into a weakness. While the Cowboys kept running Elliot into 8-man front, Cook kept getting the ball in open spaces.

The former Florida State back caught balls off of screens and kept running around the tackle behind a fullback that bulled through Dallas’ linebackers. Best yet, while he only scored once, whenever the backup running back got near the goal line, the Vikings always subbed Cook back in. That makes any fantasy owner happy. On the night, Cook got 183 total yards, 426 fantasy points. He leads McCaffrey by two yards for the league rushing title, easily on pace for his first and Mike’s first All-Robio award.

9. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) With Hooper injuring his knee, Kelce finally got back to the top spot among all tight ends and will probably secure another first-team All-Robio award. Yet, was it worth it? Obviously, there are plenty of fails in the first round, but if someone like Eric could’ve drafted Cook with that pick, he’d have the best backfield in football.

Of course, even with a great backfield, inconsistency would continue to kill Eric. This week, while Ridley was held to three catches in his starting lineup, Kirk scored three touchdowns and finished with 456 points. Eric’s squad is now in a must-win this week. If he can’t defeat the Dudelove, he’s got no shot against his final two; Calderon and Bob.

10. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) I feel your pain, Rich. Last year, like yourself, my team was headed in the wrong direction. So,I made a trade. I thought I got good players and they were. Yet, the second they landed on my roster, they got hurt. Welcome to the club.

First, Engram misses this week’s game. Of course, this wasn’t a huge deal because Greg Olsen filled in nicely (196 points). However, Tyler Lockett was knocked out of Monday night’s game with a lower leg injury. Words like contusion were thrown around and that’s not good news. That certainly not good news for a 2-8 team that’s sitting two games out of the playoffs.

11. Cheesy Ass Bob (Colby) With a win, Colby moves out of last place and falls behind Griff for the race to the top pick. Of course, with a defeat next week, he could find himself back in the driver seat. Should Colby consider tanking? While it’s frowned upon, there is no rule, as long as you set a legal lineup (where players are actually playing), there is nothing preventing a team from trying to lose. Fact is, we know having the top pick usually leads to good things? But is it too soon to even know what will be available? No, because I’m Robio and I know a lot.

If we are still in the old system, I could pretty much guarantee you Elliot wouldn’t be there. However, thanks to the new system in place, barring a Lamar Jackson blown ACL, I will not be keeping Elliot next year and he could easily be the top pick in the draft in 2021. After that, I don’t know. Michael will probably keep Cook in round one. He doesn’t have much of anything else. Rob could keep McCaffrey one more year. Or he could go with Mack much alter. Or could someone like Montgomery or Sanders develop enough value to get consideration in rounds three and five? Fact is, the top six running backs in points score this season will most likely all be kept next year. Maybe the top pick is important.

12. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) I guess David Johnson is now Drake’s backup in Arizona? Wow, how the mighty have fallen. The former All-Robio back, who in 2015 led Griff to his last title run, was held to -10 fantasy points, thanks to five carries, 10 yards and a fumble.

Like I mentioned yesterday, Griff’s playoff chase is over. It’s the earliest it has ever ended in his 21-year career in Robioland. Unless he takes down Colby next week, he’ll earn the first overall pick next year. Heading into the season, the only people who have never earned the top overall pick are Griff, Calderon and Masterson.

In fact, it’s all here: http://robiolandfootball.com/the-first-overall-pick-2018-edition/

Or below…

First Overall Picks that were earned – leaderboard:

Robio – 3 Technically I’ve picked first four times, but in 1999, it was because my name was taken out of a hat first. In 2015, I traded away the top pick to Griff. I missed the playoffs. Griff won the title with Adrian Peterson (first overall pick) and David Johnson (a player I cut in week 8). I won the title in 1999 with FOP, I went 12-1 in 2010 and I’m currently dominating 2019 with the FOP.

Eric – 3 One of two people to not make the playoffs with the FOP (first overall pick). He’s the only person to earn FOP in back-to-back seasons (2010-11).

Matt – 3 Neatock’s always been an all-in or burn-out kind of team. He got the FOP in 2005, 2009 and 2017. The last two times he had it, he won the title.

Don – 2 Nailed it in 2004 and 2016. In 2004, he drafted Faulk, who struggled. In 2016, he took Elliot and got the league’s best back.

Rich B – 2 Officially Rich has had the top pick twice, but only once did he earn it. After the 2002 season, we sent four Floridians backing and brought in four new New Yorkers. Three of those gone just so happened to finish below Rich in the standings. With them gone, Rich got the top spot (as we made the new teams pick last in the first round). In 2013, Rich earned it, drafted a solid Forte and won eight games. The most he’s won since 2006.

Bob – 1 He earned it in 2006 after a 3-win season in 2005. It was the last time Bob missed the playoffs.

Colby – 1 He got it in 2008 and picked an aging Tomlinson. The back finished 11th that year, but Colby still managed to earn the 3-seed.

Jeff – 1 He got the top pick in 2013 and landed the top back in football (Charles). However, that only helped him earn six wins and the 8-seed that year.

WEEK ELEVEN

ROBIO (W) MATT (L) 1920.0 – 1234.0 DON (L) RICH C (W) 1098.0 – 1607.0 ROB M (W) RICH B (L) 1718.0 – 825.0 MICHAEL (L) ERIC (W) 1439.0 – 1628.0 COLBY (L) GRIFF (W) 995.0 – 1261.0 JEFF (L) BOB (W) 905.0 – 1266.0

Fun fact: If Jeff misses the playoffs, that means three teams that missed the playoffs last year, will miss it for the second straight year. They will be Jeff, Burrier and Griff. Oddly enough, it appears they actually may finish exactly where they finish last year with Jeff earning the 4-seed, Rich taking the 3-seed and Griff settling for the second spot. Of course, Colby is on pace to earn the first overall pick. Last year he won the scoring title and I finished last. This year, while he’s finishing last, I’ll earn the scoring title. Speaking of…

It’s obvious Colby’s one year regular season scoring crown is going down. In fact, I just need to average 968 points per game in my final two to break that record. Since I’ve scored over 1,500 in four straight, including three where I cracked 1,900…it’s safe to say that record will soon be mine. Right now, I’m averaging over 1,695 and the way my boys are playing, I’m going to easily cross the 1,700 per game mark.

1. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) With Russell Wilson finally got to enjoy a week off, Lamar Jackson is now the clear frontrunner for 1st-team All-Robio. He has outscored the second best arm (Dak Prescott) by 658 fantasy points. Lmar leads the best roster in the league, capable of delivering an All-Robio at every position. Let’s take a look…

Jackson will easily earn a first-team All-Robio at QB. At running back, only Elliot is up for an award. He’s currently the 7th best back, 42 points behind Derrick Henry for 3rd-team All-Robio. At wideout, I have three of the top seven receivers (Diggs is ahead of two, but he hasn’t had his bye yet). Michael Thomas is the best in the league, while both Julio and Kupp have 1,998 fantasy points 32 behind a third-team award. At tight end, I traded away Engram, who was the third best TE in football at the time. Now I have Henry, who, despite missing four games, is the 7th best TE, sitting about 352 points back of an All-Robio award. At kicker, I finally settled for Will Lutz. He’s fifth among all kickers, about 110 points out of an All-Robio. Lastly, at defense, I traded for the Ravens and they have been great so far. They are up to 6th among all DSTs, 203 points behind 3rd-team All-Robio.

2. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) This week was one of those, “hey, what about me?” performances. Lately, all the talk has been about the Rob’s, while the preseason favorite has gotten lost in our shadows. He actually entered the week as the underdog and heading into halftime of the 1pm games, it looked like Rich was competing for the week’s lowest score. Then the Vikings offense woke up, Diggs had 121 yards and touchdown, all in the second half, and then in the night game, the Rams suddenly remembered they had Todd Gurley.

With both Cooks and Woods out against the Bears, the Rams went old school and pounded the ball. Gurley actually looked good, getting a total of 28 touches. He managed to produce 133 yards and a goal line score. A fumble cost him his first chance at a 300-point effort. This is what Rich expected when he made Gurley a first-round pick. If he can play at this level for the remainder of the year, then I’m going to have to stop putting a injury-plagued Masterson squad ahead of his.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) Here’s the power of Christian McCaffrey, who is barely holding onto his 400-point per game average. Even when the Panthers blow, like when they were held to a field goal against Atlanta this weekend at home, the running back is still good. McCaffrey finished with 191 total yards (thanks to 11 receptions), scoring 382 fantasy points. He led the team in both rushing and receiving yards.

Unfortunately, while Marlon Mack was proving that he’s the second punch of the league’s best 1-2 running back combination, he once again got hurt. This time he broke his hand is now out indefinitely after having surgery. This is a huge blow, since now Rob is down two solid starters (Hooper remains out). At full strength, Rob is capable of competing with both Rich and I. However, full strength has not been a term we’ve used a lot with this team this year.

4. Xerxes I (Bob) With no Aaron Jones, no Devonta Adams, no George Kittle and no second running back at all, Bob managed to just keep on winning. He’s now above .500 for the first time this season, having reached the 5-seed and sitting fourth in scoring. While he hasn’t officially locked up a playoff birth, it’s safe to say he will become the third person in league history to start 0-4 and make the postseason.

He got to this point with talent. He’s officially got a top-six quarterback (Cousins), running back (Jones), wide receiver (Godwin) and tight end (Kittle) and of those four, none were officially drafted. Godwin was a keeper, Cousins was a wire pickup (thanks, Griff), while Jones and Kittle were traded to him.

5. Kamara Sutra (Don) While I have no faith that Don’s combo of quarterbacks can compete against those of us starting Lamar Jackson or Russell Wilson, at the least his backfield is starting to resemble what was projected of them at the beginning of this year.

Kamara finally looked healthy. He got a large share of the running back touches, finished with 23 overall and delivered 122 yards. Meanwhile, Mixon looked solid for a third straight contest and might just be a must-start again. Over his last three, he has 331 combined yards and a pair of scores. He’s scored over 200 twice and combined for 782 fantasy points.

6. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) While we continue to worry about Barkley’s ability to play and/or play well as we move forward into the postseason, let’s not forget that Leo Fournette has taken his own stumbles back. Over the last two weeks, he has just 19 rushes for 63 yards. He hasn’t sniffed the end zone since week five, has averaged four yards or less in four of his last five games.

The only reason Matt was even within earshot of championship conversation was because we believed he had a dangerous backfield. Right now, that’s laughable.

7. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) While he can’t seem to do it against good teams, Prescott is having fun beating up the weaker ones. Over the last two weeks, he has thrown for 841 yards and six touchdowns. He produced 502-point game this Sunday, one week after delivering 404 for Eric. Not bad for a 11th round pick, who could be a solid keeper in 2020.

Eric will be tied in the standings with Michael at 5-6, but he’ll earn the 8-seed because of points. Sitting behind him is Jeff, who has outscored Eric, but is down a game in the standings. Of course, the bad news for Eric is that he faces both Calderon and Bob over the next two weeks. He’ll be the underdog in both. The good news is, Jeff’s schedule is arguable tougher.

8. 2020 (Jeff) With no Henry and apparently no Howard (who was shutout this week), Jeff nearly produced the week’s low score, failing to crack 1,000 for the first time this year. The question is, did this defeat signal the end of his season and allow Jeff to focus on 2020? In reality, he’s now only one game back of Eric for the final playoff spot. Obviously, if he can force a tie in the standings, he can take the tiebreaker, as he’s scored a 356 more points than Eric.

However, while Eric has a tough final two against Calderon and Bob, I would argue that Jeff’s two final opponents are tougher, as he’ll face Masterson and Calderon, the teams that are currently second and third in scoring. However, Jeff might catch a break this week, as he’ll face a Rob team without two of its starters. Like I said before, this looks like a season where a 5-8 team is going to the playoffs. Jeff just needs one more win and a little help.

9. Dudelove (Michael) Mike continues to crumble, as he’s lost six of his last seven games. Yet, I don’t really include him in the “battle for the final playoff spot” conversation. The reason is, he’s got the easiest final two games of the season, facing the two worst teams in the league. Of course, next week, he’ll have to manage without his best player, as Cook and the Vikings have a late week 12 bye-week. He might also be down Smith-Schuster. Perhaps next week’s game won’t be the walk in the park Mike is hoping for.

10. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) While it appeared Rich pulled off some solid trades for a playoff push, things just didn’t go his way. First, Engram got hurt. Next, Lockett got hurt. This week, Watson got abused by the Ravens, getting held to just 16 points. Anyhow, as always, we here in Robioland appreciate the effort and thanks to a series of trades, Rich certainly made the effort. With two games to go, all we’re trying to figure out now is what pick will Rich earn next season?

11. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) It appears Griff’s streak of avoiding last place will continue after his minor upset this week over Colby. He can’t make the playoffs anymore and is facing me next week, so he’s still guaranteed to finish with his worst record ever in Robioland.

This week in a lineup filled with players Griff never thought he’d be starting, Sam Darnold and Michael Gallup stepped up. The Jets quarterback threw for four touchdowns, while the Cowboys receiver caught 148 yards worth of balls.

12. Sexy Ass Colby (Colby) When is a defeat a win? When it helps get you the top overall pick. Obviously, it’s too early to decide who the top player available will be, but by earning the top pick (assuming he’ll earn it), means good things. Like I said before, only two teams in 21 seasons has had the top overall pick and missed the playoffs. Good times.

WEEK TWELVE

ROBIO (W) COLBY (L) 1679.0 – 952.0 BOB (W) MATT (L) 1727.0 – 1665.0 RICH C (W) ERIC (L) 1202.0 – 857.0 ROB M (L) JEFF (W) 1490.0 – 1494.0 GRIFF (L) MICHAEL (W) 1014.0 – 1289.0 RICH B (L) DON (W) 1267.0 – 1358.0

We have one week of regular season ball left to play. In year’s past, that last week has felt like an extension of the playoffs. However, this year…not so much. Fact is, so much is already decided. Five teams have officially clinched a playoff spot. A sixth, Michael, has technically clinched. We know Don will be the 3-seed and Bob/Rob M will face off in the quarterfinals. Also, Neatock will have to defend his title as a 6-seed. Meanwhile, three teams have been out for what seems like forever. So…what questions need to be answered in week 13?

QUESTIONS IN NEED OF ANSWERING?

1. Who will earn the top seed? It’s Calderon’s to have. He’s facing Jeff, who is fighting for a playoff spot. In head-to-head breakdown, Rich leads Jeff, 7-5. However, the latter would have taken three of the last five. Anyone, a Rich win and the top seed is his. A Rich defeat with a Robio win, means I take the top spot.

2. Will Colby’s record regular season scoring record fall? Yes. It’s a forgone conclusion. I need to score just 269 this week to break the record or as we say on my team; a Lamar Jackson first two drives. I need 480 points to become the first person to average over 1,600. Hell, in 2001, former league member, Jason, scored 21,816 points in a 14-game schedule. If I score 1,497 points this week, I’ll break that. Lastly, if I can score 1,780 in this final week, I’ll become the first person to average over 1,700 per game.

3. Seeds four vs seed five, who gets what? We know both Masterson and Bob will be sitting in this slot. One would think it doesn’t matter which seed you get. Well, history says you’re a fool. The 5-seed is a stunning 15-5 against against the 4-seed in the quarterfinals. The 5-seed has won six in a row.

4. Can Michael hold onto the 7-seed? Does he want to hold onto the 7-seed? Right now, Mike is the 7-seed. He’s facing last place Colby, so he should win. However, a 7-seed, barring a Jeff upset over Rich, would mean facing me in the quarterfinals. If Mike loses to Colby and Jeff wins and the latter outscores Michael by 288, then Mike falls to the 8-seed.

5. Who is going to miss the playoffs? Right now, the battle for the final spot is between Jeff and Eric. Both are sitting at 5-7. Both should be underdogs this week. If Jeff wins, he’s in and Eric is out. If Eric loses, he’s out, since he trails Jeff by too many in total points (the tiebreaker). If Jeff loses and Eric wins, Eric is the 8-seed.

1. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) How good has Lamar Jackson been? This week he faced the Rams and scored a touchdown on his first six drives (he threw five touchdown passes). He also personally outscored the entire Rams fantasy team. Lamar: 582 | Goff, Gurley, Cooks, Wood, Kupp, Everett and Zuerlein: 564.

With the playoffs just around the corner, if I have one flaw I might not be able to fix, it’s at WR2. While I’m certainly not missing Lockett or Engram right now, the Julio trade has not quite delivered the impact I had hoped. In three game with the Freaks, the Falcons receiver has been okay. He has yet to hit 100 yards and hasn’t scored. In fact, in typical Julio fashion, he hasn’t scored since week three. Worse yet, he now has a bum shoulder, which won’t help. Now, a few weeks ago, I thought I could toss in Cooper Kupp and all would be well. Through eight weeks, he was the fourth best wideout in fantasy. However, over his last three, he has just nine catches for 88 yards and no scores…and can’t be trusted in the starting lineup.

2. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) Rich’s team continues to not impress much. He has scored over 1,500 just once since week eight and now twice has failed to reach 1,250. He’s remained at the top spot because for the third time since week eight, his opponent has failed to hit 1,000. Take away my 1,919 in week 10, no other Rich opponent has scored over 1,400.

While Nick Chubb reminded us all to not forget about him (388 fantasy points), Todd Gurley came off his best game of the season to produce his worst, as the Ravens D held him to just nine touches and 19 yards (38 points).

Yet, the biggest issue could be the fact that his quarterbacks looked human again. On his bench, Aaron Rodgers reverted back to his dunking ways. He had just 104 yards on 33 throws and has produced just two touchdowns over his last three weeks. He’s now fallen behind Jamies Winston in fantasy points. As for the starter, Russell Wilson has also dipped a bit. He’s no longer in the fantasy MVP conversation thanks to his last two performances, where he has produced less scores (two) than turnovers (three). Of course, since both Rodgers and Wilson played the mighty 49ers during this time, we can probably be a little forgiving.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) So, how does Rob want to look at this performance? Should he be upset that he lost by four to an inferior team? Perhaps. He now has no shot to earn the three seed and will have a much tougher foe in the quarterfinals (probably Bob). That’s not good news, since historically that round has not been friendly to Masterson, while it’s been basically Bob’s best friend? Overall, Castrone is 11-3 in the quarterfinals, while Rob is just 4-9, having drop five straight and eight of his last nine.

Or should Rob be mildly optimistic? Fact is, despite having three starters on his bench, he still cracked 1,400, lost by only four points and if he would have made the right decision at RB2 (Sanders over Montgomery), he would have won? With this next week’s game being meaningless, Rob gets one more week to wait for Hooper/Mack to get healthy and by avoiding the 3-seed, he potentially avoids facing me in the semifinals.

4. Xerxes I (Bob) While Aaron Jones had one of his seemingly required off weeks (he’s scored under 100 in weeks six, nine and twelve, all coming off of monster weeks), George Kittle returned with an ankle that’s still broken and showed why Bob might not miss Watson after all. He dominated the Packers D with 128 yards, including a 61-yard TD, again, on a broken ankle.

Speaking of dominating, Godwin continued to show he’s the real number one target in Tampa. He caught his first seven targets and came away with 194 yards and two scores; one for one yard and one for 70 more. With his 488 fantasy points, Godwin passes up teammate Mike Evans for first-team All-Robio with one week two go.

5. Kamara Sutra (Don) While he’ll never get any higher than five on these rankings, congratulations to Don for securing the three seed. It’s just the second time he’s been seeded three or higher since he last won it all in 2008. Of course, Don is 0-5 in the postseason when seeded 5th or higher. Oddly enough, he’s 5-1 in the quarterfinals as 7-seed or lower.

This week, good decision-making helped land this ninth win of the season. By replacing an injured Hill with Landry, it’s like Don didn’t miss the Chiefs wideout at all. Landry, against his old team and Don’s favorite team, delivered 148 yards and two scores for 416 points.

Of course, while we always say, running backs win championships, it’s nearly impossible to go too far without an arm. I’m not sure Don has that arm. This week, while Brady struggled yet again on Don’s bench, Matt Ryan was just awful. Despite having a pair of the best receivers in football, the Falcons quarterback managed to complete just half of his 46 throws, turning it over twice and failing to toss a touchdown pass. He finished with just 76 points.

It’s amazing, isn’t it. No one would have believed me if I told them that the team that drafted Matt Ryan second would win nine games (maybe 10) and the team that kept Pat Mahomes in round nine is in last place.

Note: Would it kill Don to put a photo on his team photo on CBS?

6. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) Matt got a pair of one-yard touchdown runs from Fournette, who bounced back after a rough few weeks to deliver a team high 438 points. Still, despite having ball hogs like Fournette and Barkley, Matt only has 8 rushing scores on the year, which makes him 8th in the league.

When it comes to receiving, Matt is actually second in targets and receptions, but he’s just 10th in receiving touchdowns with 14. That’s 22 total skill position scores. That’s better than just two people; our two worst teams in the league. Griff has a total of 21 scores, while Colby is chasing a record with only nine touchdowns by RB-WR-TEs this year.

7. 2020 (Jeff) Was this four-point win the most important win in Greenblatt’s history? With his back against the ropes, he rode one of the league’s most underrated players, Derrick Henry to a victory. The Titans back, who has produced 1,260 points over the last three weeks, once again scored on a long TD run and finished with 440 points. Jeff needed nearly all of them to pull this victory out. Henry is now fourth in the NFL in rushing, fourth in rushing touchdowns and on pace to easily secure his first All-Robio award (2nd team).

As I mentioned before, a win and he’s in or a Eric loss and he’s in. While it’s not a lock, Jeff is expected to earn the 8-seed, which means he’ll be facing Calderon in back-to-back weeks.

8. Dudelove (Michael) Tight ends don’t typically win fantasy championships, but it’s not easy to bring home the title without one at all. It certainly feels like Mike doesn’t have one at all. This week, McDonald delivered a solid two fantasy points. Yes, two. One catch, for one yard. On the year, Mike’s tight ends have produced a measly 58 fantasy points per contest and that doesn’t even tell the whole story. Over the last eight weeks, his tight ends have averaged just 36 points per game, since 59% of his TE fantasy points came in his first four games of the year.

9. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Lately, to keep his postseason hopes alive, Eric had been riding Prescott and Jacobs. This week, they both came crashing down. Prescott and the Cowboys once again struggled against a good foe. Dak passed for just 212 yards, barely ran the ball and scored zero touchdowns. Meanwhile, the Raiders looked awful and Jacobs delivered just 36 total yards on 11 touches. Combined, these two scored 195 points, despite averaging about 600 heading into the game.

Looking ahead, Eric needs to win and get some help to make the playoffs. The help should come. Jeff faces top-seed Calderon and should be a solid dog. However, Eric will face Bob. Now he beat Bob back in week two, but that team was a different team. If Eric misses the playoffs, it will end a four-year run and would be the 11th time he’s missed the postseason (a league high).

10. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) Bad things happen when you make bad decisions. I believe Gandhi said that. Actually, I don’t know what Rich was thinking. Either way, he made the right call benching Carson for Penny. The pair split carries, but while the former was fumbling two more times, the latter was ripping off a 58-yard TD run. That proved to be a solid 204-point positive decision. Unfortunately, he benched Lindsay for Burkhead and that cost him 102 points. He lost to Don by 91.

11. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) Could Sam Darnold be a solid round 8 keeper in 2020? That’s probably asking a lot, but over the last three weeks, he’s looked like a functioning quarterback. He’s completed 65% of his throws for 838 yards and seven scores (rushing for another). Of course, these stats came against the Giants, Pale Skins and Raiders, so perhaps we minimize the praise a bit.

Still, Darnold might be the only positive for Griff. He’s going to probably win just two games, not earn the top overall pick and leave without any real good keepers to look forward to. That’s like sad on top of sad.

12. Sexy Ass Colby (Colby) One more week and Colby’s long national nightmare will be over, proving once again, getting your fantasy advice from Tucker Carlson is never a good plan. The only positive in a last place finish where he scores the least amount of points is that he’ll have Mahomes one more year and the top pick. That’s something to look forward to.

WEEK THIRTEEN

Griff (L) Robio (W) 1008.0 – 1449.0 Rich B (L) Matt (W) 1110.0 – 1542.0 Rich C (W) Jeff (L) 1617.0 – 1380.0 Don (L) Rob M (W) 1128.0 – 1299.0 Michael (L) Colby (W) 1281.0 – 1359.0 Eric (W) Bob (L) 1277.0 – 1020.0

The 21st regular season of Robioland Football comes to an end. For some, it’s a record breaking season to remember. For others, it was two-win slog that could have ended weeks ago. With the playoffs about to start, your fantasy daddy will have plenty to say this week, so let’s keep these simple.

1. Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Good keepers, the first overall pick,  a solid draft, pickups that mattered, and smart decisions on the trading block are all the reasons why I went from worse to this. I crushed the regular season scoring title and I can honestly say, it might be a record that will stand awhile. Thanks to the league vote, Lamar Jackson has been declared the League MVP. Yet…because there is always a yet.

Anything short of a title game appearance should feel like a failure, right?

2. The Dick-Taters (Calderon) Note above, I said “anything short of a title game appearance should feel like a failure” and not “anything short of a title should feel like a failure.” Am I selling myself short? No. I just don’t think we can forget about Calderon’s squad.

While consistency has been an issue, this squad has the talent to outscore any team in this league. It’s also a deep team, which means Calderon will have to be a decision maker. Will it be Rodgers or Wilson? Could Guice sneak into the starting lineup? What happens at WR2, once Thielen is back? Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

3. Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) By failing to hit 1,500 the last two weeks, Rob’s squad has lost some of its luster. Health has been a problem, as he’s been without Mack and Hooper, while Amari Cooper has suddenly become am unsafe start. Still, with Sutton and Chark at wideout and Sanders/Montgomery at running back, Rob has to depth to overcome some of these flaws.

Yet, for Masterson to finally find success in the postseason, he’s going to need Drew Brees to step up. The old man has yet to produce a 400-point game this year and twice over the last month, he’s failed to hit 200. With the 49ers, Colts and Titans on tap for the Saints, Rob will have to decide each week to either ride the old man or allow Josh Allen to step in.

4. Xerxes I (Bob) If you’re going to drop a butt bomb or a “butt snack” as we call it in our house, mom always said, do it before the date shows up. Well., Bob delivered a big butt snack this week, failing to hit 1,000. Of course, if you’re going to do that, do it now, in the regular season’s final game and not the following week.

What has to be a little scary for Castrone is the fact that, this week, everything was coming up Bob. Outside of Kittle, every player had a dream matchup and only Davante Adams produced. Luckily for him, next week’s schedule looks just as friendly.

5. Bell’s Palsy (Matt) Neatock finally got all his pieces onto the playing field at the same time and the puzzle looked pretty sweet, as the defending champs broke 1,500 for the second straight game. Four players topped 200, including Edelman, who looks like the only wideout Tom Brady trust. Even Carson Wentz went for 356, despite struggling against the taking Fins.

Most importantly, Barkley had over 100 combined yards. He’s done that just once since week three. Now if he can only score his fourth touchdown of the season and Matt might have something here.

6. Kamara Sutra (Don) Don ends the regular season with nine wins. That’s the most he’s had in one year since 2005. Of course, Don hasn’t been to a title game since 2008. If he wants to have a shot to get back to the finals, he’s going to need Kamara to be a lead back. In his last four games, he has averaged just 9.8 carries per game, despite averaging 5.5 yards per carry. Just give the kid the ball!

7. Dudelove (Michael) One of the worst second half collapse is complete. After starting the season 4-0, Mike dropped seven of his last nine, topping it all off with a week 13 defeat to the worst team in the league. Luckily, there were a lot of bad teams in 2019, so he somehow made the playoffs, where he’ll get me.

But will he get me with Delvin Cook. The Vikings back left Monday’s nights game with a chest injury. He downplayed it after the game, but if it wasn’t a big deal, then why was he not in the game in the fourth quarter of an important game, where his team trailed by four and had the ball multiple times with a chance to take the lead?

8. Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) Well, someone has to lose to Calderon in the quarterfinals and in the game of hot potato between Eric and Jeff for the 8-seed, Mr. Vozzola earned it with a week 13 victory, coupled with a Greenblatt defeat.

It’s the fifth straight year Eric has reached the playoffs and the second year in a row he finished as the 8-seed. Eric has little chance to pull off the upset, but it certainly would help if Delvin Cook misses a week and Eric can insert Mattison into his starting lineup.

9. 2020 (Jeff) Injuries played their part in the Greenblatt downfall, as he lost both his quarterback (Big Ben) and tight end (Njoku). However, it’s not like either of them was realistically going to challenge for All-Robio awards. Still, he never was able to find decent replacements for either.

Jeff also had to roll with Ekeler at RB2. That was all good when Gordon was out, but once Melvin returned, Ekeler’s stats were cut in half. Lastly, Odell Beckham bombed as a first-round pick. The Browns new receiver finished as the 24th best wideout. Seven times he failed to hit 120, as he scored just two touchdowns all season long. By the end, he was on Jeff’s bench. Tough to make the playoffs when you’re forced to sit your first-round pick.

10. Sexy Ass Colby (Colby) A win in the last week could prove costly, as it bumped Colby up three spots, ruining his chance at the top overall pick. Maybe in the future we can talk about having a playoff among the final four to compete for the top four picks in the draft.

Anyhow, Mahomes injury didn’t help matters, but failure for this team begins at the running back spot. Both Devonta and Duke were gambles that failed to payoff and a week one Hunter Henry injury forced Colby to hit the panic button. But let’s be realistic, even with Thomas and Henry (once he returned), this team wasn’t meant for a playoff spot, as long as the backs refused to rumble.

11. Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) Man, what happened to this once proud man? Sure, Rich was never a fantasy god, but the desire to win once existed. In 2019, I have witnessed Burrier finish last in Robioland baseball, last in another league I share with him and while he’s not last in this league, he’s tied for last and ends his run with a 7-game losing streak, tied for 9th longest in league history.

The only positive to come out of this has been the play of Rashaad Penny. The Seahawks “backup” running back has outplayed Carson by a lot and maybe, just maybe, he could be a solid 6th round keeper for Rich next year.

12. Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) Speaking of once proud franchise. Coomer has officially hit the bottom of the rock, earning last place for the first time in 21 years. Fact is, a two-win season no longer feels like a fluke for the Florida boy. He’s lost 15 of his last 17 games, dating back to last year and going back to 2016, he has just one win over a team that has finished among the top four. He’s just 16-37 since 2016, with three missed trips to the postseason and zero playoff wins. It’s like something happened in his life about four years ago that made him irrelevant in this league. What could it be?

QUARTERFINALS

MICHAEL (L) ROBIO (W) 831.0 – 1692.0 ERIC (L) RICH C (W) 1021.0 – 1547.0 BOB (L) TWO ROB M (W) 1158.0 – 1603.0 MATT (W) DON (L) 1388.0 – 1328.0

There are good games, great games and then there are the games we’ll never forgot (or at least, I won’t let you forget). I’m talking about Bob’s one-point victory over Matt in the 2014 title game, where he maintained that one-point lead throughout the entire fourth quarter, despite Matt have two players. There’s the 2008 championship, when I swapped out the league’s best rusher and it cost me my title to Don. We’ll always have Bob’s nearly last second two-point victory over Masterson’s greatest team in 2011.

Last night, the battle between Matt and Don proved to be one of those games. In case you missed it…

Giants vs Eagles. Matt’s three players (Wentz, Barkley and Ertz) are struggling, as are the Eagles, who trail the Giants 17-3 heading into the fourth quarter. Eventually, the Eagles offense begins to click. With two minutes left in the game, Don still has a solid 200+ lead. However, Wentz hits Ertz for a two-yard TD. This brings Matt to within 100. The goes into overtime and the Eagles get the ball first and take it right down the field. The quickly get the ball to the three-yard line. However, Don still holds a 66-point lead. If the Eagles run in for a touchdown, Don wins. if Wentz throws a touchdown pass to ANYONE other than Ertz, Don wins. Instead, Wentz throws a second TD to a wide-open Ertz. Touchdown. Matt wins. This is the first time that I can remember a team losing a fantasy playoff game on the very last play of the Monday night game.

With the defeat, we won’t get to see the top four seeds all advance to the semifinals. 21 years of Robioland football and that has yet to happen. Having said that, we can say the best four teams did all advance, if you believe Neatock was better than Bob.

Anyhow…

Freaks & Zeke (Robio) Here’s what’s scary…only three players outscored their CBS projections; Elliot, Thomas and Lutz…and I still finished eight points shy of 1,700 points, with the week’s high score. Just imagine how good I would be if I picked the right defense for once. For four straight weeks I have started the wrong defense and cost myself 257 fantasy points.

Anyhow, I secured my 10th straight win. That’s now the fourth longest streak in league history. If I can win the championship, I’ll finish the year one back of the record (held by me). I’m also now just 2,048 points behind Bob’s all-time record for most points in a full season (25,509). Barring an upset in the semifinals next week, I will take that record.

The Dick-Taters (Calderon) Despite some quarterback troubles this week (Aaron Rodgers produced just 152 against the Redskins at home), Calderon cruised to the semifinals. The good news of course was the production of Rich’s superstars, or rather, his projected superstars. Gurley and Hopkins have disappointed this year and are a big reason why Calderon was dropped from the top spot. Lately though, these two have caught a little fire.

Gurley delivers 286 this week and he’s had at least 280 in three of his last four. With 20+ touches in three of his last four, it appears the Rams have taken the training wheels off their old workhorse. Meanwhile, Hopkins has had 300+ in two of his last three games, receiving double digit targets in six of his last eight games.

Two Headed Rushin Attack (Rob M) First, let me start with introductions. Rob…this is the semifinals. Semis, this is Rob. You two have actually met in the past, but it was a long time ago. Now enjoy each other’s company. Anyhow, Rob made a couple of wrong lineup choices and still didn’t play Mack. These kinds of decisions usually sent him home early in the postseason. This year, it didn’t phase him at all.

Both McCaffrey and Cooper produced as expected, combing for 496 points, but it was Drew Brees who made the difference. With the Saints in comeback mode throughout the second half, Brees put it up 40 times and delivered 349 yards and five touchdowns. Bob’s entire roster scored five touchdowns.

Bell’s Palsy (Matt) Like last year, Neatock is just finding ways to win. For christ sake, he need Zack Ertz to score two touchdowns with less than two minutes to play in the Monday night game. It certainly helps that the Giants were the Eagles foe and that’s what makes Matt a dangerous team. The Eagles will not face a great defense the remainder of the way with the Redskins and Cowboys up next.

Also, notice how Matt pulled out a win without his backs. Fournette and Barkley failed to be even average. Neither topped 70 yards and neither scored a touchdown, giving Matt just 260 combined fantasy points. However, his receivers, led by Ertz stepped up, as well as Edelman. Right now, the little white receiver has had eight straight double-digit target games. That’s the longest active streak among wideouts. Over his last three, he has 22 catches for 294 yards and two scores, as he remains Brady’s security blanket.

Kamara Sutra (Don) Brutal. Heartbreaking. Sad. Who to blame? Let’s go with Kamara. While Joe Mixon dominated with 432 points, the man who was supposed to lead Don back to the promise land disappeared when it mattered the most. In a game, where the Saints put up 46 points, Kamara produced little. He actually led the team in carries with 13, but he managed only 25 yards, while Murray got to 69 on only seven carries. In the passing game, Kamara was tied for second most targets, but managed only 18 yards on four catches. That means, in 19 total carries and targets, Don’s “best player” managed just 43 yards. Oh and he fumbled, finishing with just 56 fantasy points. Don lost by basically 30 yards. Blame Kamara.

Xerxes I (Bob) The season produced one of the best turnarounds in league history. He took a 0-4 team and turned it into a 7-6 playoff squad. The beginning of that turnaround was the 2,507 points Bob scored in week five, breaking a single game scoring record that stood for nearly 16 years.

Still, the 7-7 record is just the second time in 2006 that Bob will not end the year with a winning record (he went 6-8 in 2013). While it didn’t end his playoff streak (nothing will), it does end arguable the greatest five-year run in league history. Between 2014-2018, Bob produced double digit winning regular seasons four times. In total, he went 51-14 in the regular season, earning three top seeds (and a 2-seed). Yet, proving that the playoffs are whole different bitch, that amazing half decade of success only produced one 1-point margin of victory champion (2014), as Bob is just 4-5 in the playoffs since 2015.

Looking ahead to next year, we entire a new phase of the keeper system (two keepers: rounds 1-7 and 8-15). Bob redshirted Kyle Murray and I have to assume he’s going to be ready to roll with him next year (round 7). Bob also can keep his savior this season, Aaron Jones, who is available one more year in round 8. That’s not a bad start to the 2021 season.

6th Pick – Dudelove (Michael) Overall, a successful first season of Robioland football, despite a ton of things not going Mike’s way. He nailed his first-round pick, while so many others failed, but in the end, he couldn’t overcome a high level of underachieving. It starts with JuJu Smith-Schuster. He was expected to be Mike’s WR1; maybe not elite, but damn close. Instead, he caught 38 balls for 524 yards and three scores. Remember, he was projected to be a 100-catch, 1,500-yard guy. With no Big Ben, that became laughable.

Looking ahead, you never want to use a first-round pick on a keeper, but Mike may have little choice, keeping Cook with the seventh pick overall. In category two, he redshirted Daniel Jones, who didn’t quite light the world on fire. With little else, I can see him keeping the Giants quarterback in round 13.

5th Pick –  Keep Calm and Kerryon (Eric) This season wasn’t meant to be. In fact, how Eric even squeezed into the playoffs is a minor miracle. Yet, with both his starting running backs out (Josh Jacobs and Key Johnson), Eric didn’t have the pieces to overcome that. It almost seems fitting that his final player of the season (Alshon Jeffery) got hurt last night and failed to score a point.

At the very least, Eric’s keepers looked decent enough for 2020. Josh Jacobs looks like an obvious keep in round three. If available, he’d probably go late in the first round.

4th Pick –  2020 (Jeff) All because you’re out of the playoffs, doesn’t mean I don’t care. Looking ahead to next year’s keepers, I got Jeff keeping two. Derrick Henry in round three is a no-brainer. He’d be a top-five pick in the 2021 draft. Later, why not keep Ekeler in 13 for one more season? Melvin Gordon’s contract is up and he should be gone.

3rd Pick – Sexy Ass Colby (Colby) I got Colby keeping one player…the one, the only..Patrick Mahomes. There is no way a team with him at quarterback can end a three-year run with zero playoff wins, right?

2nd Pick – Baker’s Dozen (Burrier) When you only win two games, there are not a lot of options. However, Tyler Lockett would be a decent fourth-round pick.

1st Pick – Florida Man & NY Woman (Griff) While some teams have little in the way of keepers, I’m not sure Griff has any. For now, I got him keeping Higbee, who has exploded the last two weeks, but there’s no guarantee he’s going to even be a starter one Everett returns.

SEMIFINALS

Before you look away…you may be out, but I still have plenty to say about you. How about a round one prediction for next year’s draft? Before that though…

In my pre-playoff write up, I stated, it was Rob/Rich C vs everyone else. Well, everyone else is gone, leaving the top overall seed and vs the second seed with the scoring title. This is the fifth time we’ve gotten a 1 vs 2 in the title game, which is not a lot, although this is the third time over the last four seasons.

THE DICK-TATERS (RICH C) Calderon advanced to the finals with a beautifully balanced effort on semifinals Sunday. Every starter cracked at least 100 and five scored over 200, led by Nick Chubb’s 356 points. The lack of a shitty game is an impressive skill. Since week 13, only one player has not scored at least 100 in a game (out of 24).

FREAKS & ZEKE (ROBIO) While Rich relied on balance, I was led by just a four monster performances. With my pair of Chargers failed to even combine for 100, Lamar, Julio, Thomas and Elliot combined to score 1,746 points. They combined for ten touchdowns this week, including two by Julio, who had gone nine weeks without a touchdown. And before you say, damn Burrier for trading him so many points…Tyler Lockett also broke 300 this week. To put 10 touchdowns in one week into perspective, Colby’s receivers and running backs had 14 TDs all season long.

For me, I’m making my 8th title game appearance, which ties Griff for the most ever by one team. With a win, I can become the first person to get five career championships. Add in Rich’s four trips and our combined 12 title game appearances are the most ever by two title game foes.

ROB M Since 2011, Rob Masterson has been arguable the second best team in the fantasy regular season. He’s produced a record nine straight winning seasons, five of which were 8-win seasons or more, going a total of 61-47 (.565). He’s averaging 1,423 PPG in that time, averring over 1,500 in a season three times (tied for most). Obviously, he’s made it to the postseason all nine seasons.

Also in that time, we have me, Robio. Since 2011, I’ve missed the playoffs a league high five times. I’ve twice won just three games and finished dead last twice, averring 1,335 over the last nine seasons. Yet, if I win the title next week, I’ll have two titles since 2011, while Masterson has none. So who has been better at fantasy; Rob or me? Which results would make you happier over those nine seasons?

Fact is, to win a championship, you need to be good and lucky. Rob’s been good for a long time, but the dude can’t catch a break. When it mattered the most, on Sunday, only McCaffrey (470 points) showed up. Amari Cooper had just one catch in a game the Cowboys scored 44 points. In total, four players failed to hit 100. It also didn’t help that he seem to make every decision a wrong decision. While Mack scored ###, Miles Sanders had his best game as a pro, scoring 464. Meanwhile, keeping the Bills D on the bench cost Rob another 197 points. Of course, none of that mattered. I scored over 2,000 points. For his 19 career postseason games, Rob’s opponents are averaging 1,490 points per game.

Having said that, it was impressive nine-win season for Masterson. He had to overcome a missing quarterback for half the season, one of the best tight ends out for a few games, a solid RB2 (Mack) also failed to show for a couple games and even Cooper was never fully healthy this season. Yet, with an impressively deep bench, Rob kept plugging along, managing to earn the 4-seed for the fifth straight year.

For a look into Rob’s hopes and dreams into the next season, scroll down.

MATT So like the two-time champion pioneers in the past, Matt came up two games shy of winning a third straight title. Oddly enough, the one player who dominated in the semifinals was Barkley, who was a big reason why Matt never gained a ton of traction this season. Yet, in this game, to pinpoint Matt’s failures, look no further than Edelman and in a small way, Fournette.

Last season, Matt earned his title thanks to a stunningly good trade with me. This year, he secured just the Patriots receiver and somehow, in a game where the Pats dominated the Bengals, Edelman had his worst game of the year with just two catches for nine yards. Meanwhile, Fournette’s struggles began in week thirteen. After earning an All-Robio this season, the Jaguars back has scored just 454 in his last three games. In the semifinals, he averaged just 2.8 yards per carry and rushed for just 42 yards.

For look into Matt’s hopes and dreams into the next season, scroll down.

A PEEK AHEAD…

If you’re looking for a game changing running back in round one, my advice is, don’t. According to my predictions, all the best backs from 2019 will be kept. No McCaffrey, no Cook. Forget about Henry, Chubb or Aaron Jones, as well as Barkley, Singletary, Jacobs and even Ekeler again.

#1 GRIFF – Last week, I had Griff maybe keeping Higbee, but honestly, he’s probably going to walking into 2020 with a fresh start and with a full roster to fill. It will help to have the top pick. Go smart and grab Ezekiel Elliot.

#2 RICH B – With only Lockett expected to return, Rich will grab Alvin Kamara. The Saints back ended his run with Don on a disappointing note, but when healthy, Kamara is still one of the more dangerous backs in football.

#3 COLBY – He missed out on the top pick with a week 13 win, but unlike Griff and Burrier, who are picking ahead of him, he still has Patrick Mahomes and they don’t. Colby hasn’t been afraid to show some balls in this league and balls to me in the 2020 draft says, take the first rookie drafted in the NFL Draft. That will be De’Andre Swift. Obviously, this all depends on what team he lands on, but this kid is a faster Nick Chubb. Enough said.

#4 JEFF – I got Jeff easily keeping Derrick Henry is round three and probably Ekeler in round 13. This is based on the ideal that Melvin Gordon won’t be with the Chargers next year. Sure, they’ll bring someone in, but Ekeler could be a solid RB2 next year. If so, look for Jeff to snag the first wideout off the board with Michael Thomas.

#5 ERIC – I got Eric heading into the 2020 season with Josh Jacobs (rd 3) and Dak Prescott (11). That’s a nice foundation, especially since Eric gets to keep his first two picks. The Jaguars should have a new coach next year, hopefully one that understands the offense must run through Leo Fournette…who I have Eric taking with the fifth pick.

#6 MICHAEL – If you’re keeping a player in round one, you’re doing it wrong. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever do it. Mike’s got a few bits of talent later in the draft, but Dalvin Cook is a game changer. Without him, Mike misses the playoffs. Look for him to keep the Vikings back in round one.

#7 BOB – Mr. Castrone is a enigma wrapped in an enigma, so it’s tough to predict what he will do. For now, I have him keeping Kyle Murray off his redshirt and declaring him his week one starter. I also got him keeping Aaron Jones over Godwin in category two. Fact is, if he kept Godwin, Aaron Jones won’t fall to him here in 2020. If he keeps Aaron Jones, he will be able to draft Godwin here. So yes, I have him drafting Godwin.

#8 DON – With Kamara gone, there are no great keepers for Don, For now, I got him keeping  3rd-team wideout Golladay in round three and Darren Waller in round nine. This technically means Don is the only player keeping two 2019 All-Robio players in 2020. As for the draft, Melvin Gordon will be in a new home next year. If it’s a good home, where he is the lead back, then he’s a solid first-round pick.

#9 MATT – Neatock could keep Fournette in round two. He has more value, since he can be kept seven picks later in the draft and can be kept one more season. However, Barkley’s ceiling remains too high for Matt to pass up. I also have him keeping Latavius Murray once more time in round 15.

#10 – ROM M – There is a decision to make here. Does Rob go with McCaffrey, the best back in football, late in round one? Seems like an easy decision. Or does he keep a guaranteed starter, Marlon Mack, in round six, freeing up his first pick? Right now, I have the former. Along with CMC, I have Rob keeping Hooper in round nine. Thus, with McCaffrey in the books, no first round pick. That makes three first-round keepers in the 2020 draft.