WEEK ONE

ROBIO (L) MARC (W) 1186.0 – 1324.0 ERIC (L) RICH B (W) 1505.0 – 1506.0 COLBY(L) MATT (W) 1095.0 – 1695.0 DON (W) RICH C (L) 1895.0 – 1427.0 GRIFF (W) BOB (L) 1744.0 – 761.0 JEFF (W) ROB M (L) 1434.0 – 1116.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Holy hell fuck, the world has been flipped upside down. Based on week one results, the Jets and Chiefs will be meeting in the AFC title game, the Cowboys and Giants will be both be 0-16 (despite facing off twice) and the Bears will never beat the Packers (actually, this last statement is probably true).

Welcome to Overreaction Tuesday, which is the first Tuesday after week one. Here, the victors start to look for photos for their championship mugs and the losers start to wonder who they can trade to Bob to guarantee their success the following season. Yet, as we’ve learned in the past, let’s stay calm. Instead, let’s enjoy what we got.

What we got is a clear alpha dog named Don, a preseason favorite getting a taste of the curse and the sixth 1-point victory in league history (and the second highest scoring one-point game ever).

Let’s get to these new and improved rankings…

#1 KAMARA SUTRA At the end of last season and during this year’s preseason, Don performed two trades. Those two players combined for 944 fantasy points. Yep, Kamara was the Saints offense (141 yards and three scores), while Hill was Mr. Holy Fuck That Dudes Good. He had 173 yards and two scores and that doesn’t even include his punt return (punt returns go to the DST).

Yep, this vaults the old man to the top of the pecking order, because when the only thing remotely negative I can say is that the second overall pick “only” had 67 total yards (194 fantasy points, thanks to a touchdown), you know it’s going to be a good year.

#2 BELL’S PALSY Earlier this week, Matt sends me a text offering me Bell/Cooner for Cook. I, of course, accepted. I was not the only person he made this offer to. Then over the next five hours I had to read text after text of him talking himself out of doing the trade. In the future, don’t propose trades you aren’t really offering. Create a fictional me on your computer or like a cardboard cutout and offer trades to him.

Anyhow, James Conner was a true beast Sunday, dominating just as Bell would have. He had 192 yards. He would have broken 500, if he hadn’t fumbled late in the fourth quarter. The benefit of being Conner is that the Pittsburgh way is the opposite of the Patriot way. While New England used about 25 running backs this weekend, the Steelers always roll with one and the only one there is Conner. In fact, he was the only back this weekend to get 100% of his running backs’ touches.

#3 SPACE FORCE In the end, Griff got a ton of stud performances, especially from the wideouts. Michael Thomas and Keenan Allen combined for 288 yards, two scores and 666 fantasy points (Ozzy would be proud). It certainly helped his cause that the Saints were in comeback mode all game long and Drew Brees delivered 482 points. Still, not all wins are wrapped in gold. Greg Olsen once again couldn’t finish a game he started, thanks to a foot injury. One would have thought Griff was bored of getting burned by the former Cane.

Secondly, the running backs…um, we’ll see. We all know about how Devonta splitting carries Thursday night, but what was shocking is that Royce did as well and it had nothing to do with Booker, but instead, fellow rookie, Phillip Lindsay. He had identical rushing stats with Freeman (15-71-0), but while Freeman had no interest in the passing game, Lindsay had two catches for 31 yards and one score, outscoring Royce by 122 fantasy points.

For Griff to be successful, he needs those backs, as he currently lacks any kind of depth on his bench to replace either Freeman.

#4 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART Like any good publicist, I have to ask…how do we want to handle this? Do we just blame the curse of the first-place ranking in the Robio preseason poll? That’s certainly an easy solution.

Perhaps it was just a bad week of matchups. Watson was outschooled on the road in New England. Elliot ran against a wall known as the Panthers D. The same could be said for Carlos Hyde against Pittsburgh. Goodwin was facing the best corners in the league and got hurt and Engram was facing the best defense in the league (and had two nice catches called back due to penalties). The Saints…can’t blame the matchup for that dud.

I did say in the preseason that my two main worries were the play of the Texans and Cowboys offensive lines. At least for one week, those concerns were legit. Watson was chased out of the pocket 23 times, hit 12 and sacked three times and fumbled once.

#4 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL I’m not shocked that Melvin Gordon dominated a bad Chiefs D, scoring 352 fantasy points, all with yards. I was stunned by what Tampa did in New Orleans. The Bucs scored 48 points and Mike Evans looked great, with 354 fantasy points (which included a 50-yard touchdown).

Fun fact: That Saints loss knocked out 40% of the participants in my survivor pool.

Fun fact #2: The Chargers produced two 300-point running backs, as Gordon’s handcuff, Ekeler had 312 fantasy points.

Unfortunately for Jeff, my biggest concern with Drake came true, as Frank Gore saw plenty of action in Miami’s seven-hour marathon. While Drake managed just 48 yards on 14 carries, Gore got 61 on just a third of the running back touches. If that keeps up, Gore’s third will become a half.

#5 HUNT FOR THE GOLDEN JOHNSON I’m suddenly really concerned about Masterson this year. It’s not like him to not change his team name. Sure he still has Hunt, but he has no Golden or Johnson. Is this the first sign of failure? Speaking of…

Two minor concerns out of week one. The first was the Carolina Panthers offense. They didn’t look too good. Cam Newton only completed 13 passes for 161 yards and lost Greg Olsen again. Luckily for him, the Cowboys continued to forget a quarterback is allowed to run in football, so Newton managed 58 yards rushing. McCaffrey wasn’t too bad, getting 16 touches, although he did fumble on the goal line.

However, the biggest concern was Kareem Hunt. The Chiefs running back managed just 49 yards on 16 carries, despite the fact the team was trying to protect a big lead the entire second half. Hunt did out-touch Spencer Ware by a solid 17-4 margin, but Hunt managed just 49 yards, while Ware got 40 in his four touches.

#6 THE DICK-TATERS Despite the defeat, there were plenty of positives to enjoy. Andrew Luck tossed 53 passes and scored 296 points, which should eaze Calderon’s Matt Ryan pain from Thursday night. Also in that game, Mixon was rolling, leading all scorers on the Taters with 359 points. The fact is, only eight backs got 75% of their backs’ touches and Mixon was second most behind Conner with 92%.

Still, the second running back spot was a bit of mess this week. McCoy got just eight touches (21 yards) in a Buffalo blowout, while Derrick Henry got outplayed by a mile by Dion Lewis (280-62). It’s almost like the Titans sole mission is to make Rich’s fantasy seasons hard.

#7 TRUMP? After trailing all weekend, Burrier took the lead with about seven minutes to go in a blowout Rams win during the second Monday night game. That’s when Cooper Kupp capped off solid night (5-68-1) with a ten-yard reception. The 20 fantasy points gave Rich a one-point lead and a victory.

He managed this win, despite losing arguable his most important player to a hamstring injury in the second quarter (Fournette finished with 110 fantasy points). It helped that Rich’s skilled players found the end zone a total of four times, while Eric only got one touchdown from Diggs.

#7 JUST SERVIN IT I don’t know if Eric was watching Sunday night’s game. I always assume Sunday night is when Eric’s fiance makes him groom the dog and lay out all her clothes for the week, but if he was, he probably was suffering through a Burt Reynolds’ sized heart attack. He had already lost his starting tight end, Delanie Walker for the season and then around 9pm Sunday night, he was witnessing Aaron Rodgers leaving the field on a cart.

Yet, Rodgers found his inner-Willie Reed and came back onto the field and with only one functional leg, rallied the Packers, who were down 20-0 at one point. While that stat-stuffing rally was not enough to hand Eric a win in week one, if Rodgers’ can avoid missing any time, the week might still feel like a victory.

#9 DAVID THE PATRIOT It’s hard to judge a performance in a game that featured one team scoring 47 and the other scoring 3, but Alex Collins did not look good for the Ravens. The “lead” back only got seven carries and managed 13 yards rushing. He did score a TD, but he also fumbled. Meanwhile, Ken Dixon lead the team in carries (13) and yards (44). Let’s assume a lot of this was due to the fact that the Ravens pulled their starters with 27 minutes left to play.

Speaking of being only one game, ouch Travis Kelce. I was worried about the tight end spot with a new quarterback and coordinator, but I did not envision one catch for six yards from last year’s top tight end.

The reality is, all of Coby’s best stats were sitting on his bench. Still was the top receiver (332 points) and Coleman was the top back (150), which means Mr. Hall will need to master his crystal ball. Typically, that does not lead to fantasy success.

#10 ALTERED BOYZ Let’s roll with the positive after a solid win. Gurley was great again (147 yards and a score), Lamar Miller managed 109 yards, despite offensive line troubles (although the backup stole the only rushing touchdown). In Indy, Ebron really outplayed Doyle, with 51 yards and a score. Also, while the Browns locked down Antonio Brown, Smith-Schuster caught 109 yards worth of balls.

Still, Marc was the league’s lowest scoring winner and he can blame Amari Cooper for that. The Raiders wideout was just awful last year. Everyone had their excuses and everyone saw him returning to greatness with Gruden calling the shots. Yeah, not so much, as Cooper managed just one single catch on Monday night.

#12 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT Dalvin Cook gave up too many carries to Murray, while I witnessed Tyreek Hill own the Chargers. Meanwhile, I got a total of 52 fantasy points from the guys getting paid to catch the ball. My two wideouts and TE caught a total of two balls for 26 yards. Oh and now I’ve lost Baldwin for a while to a knee injury.

How did I get so fucking bad at this? What fantasy championships did I win in a previous life that has cursed me to a life of poor decisions? Is it too soon to put Barkley on the block and play for next year? Bob’s got to have a future stud he can give me and lead me back to a title victory?

WEEK TWO

ROB M (L) ROBIO (W) 1281.0 – 1374.0 RICH B (L) DON (W) 870.0 – 1254.0 MATT (L) BOB (W) 1259.0 – 1526.0 RICH C (L) JEFF (W) 1217.0 – 1485.0 COLBY(W) GRIFF (L) 2004.0 – 1120.0 MARC (W) ERIC (L) 1721.0 – 1392.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

What a week it was. Three quarterbacks broke 500 (one hit 600), Colby hit two grand and all four teams that missed the playoffs last year, won their games.

Want more? The three highest scoring teams so far this season were three non-playoff teams from last year. Hell, the 2-0 teams are Jeff, Don and fucking Marc. Masterson and Calderon are winless after two weeks. Griff lost to Colby. Bob is last in scoring. What the fuck world are we living in?

Yet, will any of these results impact my rankings. Remember, I’m pretty fucking stubborn. Let’s find out…

#1 KAMARA SUTRA You know things are going to go your way, when you win and can feel disappointed. That’s life at the top of Robio’s Rankings. Don faced off with the week’s lowest score and walked away with a win, despite scoring just 1,254 points. It’s a new world Don is living in, when 1,254 feels like failure. This is a guy who has scored at least 1,254 points just 30 times in his last 79 games, so good times.

Still, we don’t want it all the become rainbows and sunshine for the old man. We need to feed the negative beast a little and talk about David Johnson again. The second overall pick has struggled playing on one of the worst offenses this league has seen in a long time. The Cardinals have scored six total points in two games and Johnson has just 85 rushing yards on 22 carries in two games. Back in 2016, that use to be his third quarter stats.

#2 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL There’s a new number two on the list, as Jeff leapfrogs about a quarter of the league with his second straight win. This week, Jeff relied on touchdowns, as his squad scored a total of eight (480 points), led by Melvin Gordon’s three scores.

In total, Jeff’s backs scored a solid 512 fantasy points this week, which is a bit stunning when you consider both of their backups steal a lot of touches. Gore and Ekeler combined for 24 touches this past week. On the season, these two have stolen 43 touches from Jeff’s starting backs. Usually, that’s a for-sure way to earn a high pick in next year’s draft, but it’s not affecting Greenblatt’s stats at all.

#3 BELL’S PALSY Not much to take away from this performance. At quarterback, Goff’s limitations continue to be the touchdowns, or lack thereof. Because the Rams rely so heavily on Todd Gurley, Goff doesn’t produce a ton of touchdowns. In fact, he has just three in two blowout wins. Still, Wentz is due back next week, so let the quarterback controversy begin!

Speaking of lack of touchdowns, it’s the same problem for Jamaal Williams. In Green Bay, there is no such thing as a running down, so even in the red zone, Rodgers is tossing it around like it’s 7-on-7 drills. In two games, Williams has no touchdowns. He has no goal line carries, not even a touch inside the five. In fact, Williams has just three carries in the red zone for negative two yards.

#4 ALTERED BOYZ Marc has received 720 fantasy points from his first overall pick (Gurley), but the biggest reasons for his 2-0 start are his homer picks. In two games, Big Ben has thrown the ball a stunning 101 times for 787 yards. This week, playing from behind, he avoided the turnovers and scored 568 points.

Even more surprising is that in both games, Antonio Brown was not his favorite target. JuJu Smith-Schuster was targeted 19 times this weekend (28 in two games) and has easily out-performed Brown. A week after hitting 238, he topped it with 302 fantasy points.

#5 DAVID THE PATRIOT It’s not every day where the two main players in a trade score over 1,100 fantasy points the following day, but go ahead and enjoy it, Mr. Hall. Patrick Mahomes in two games has 10 touchdowns to no interceptions, meaning he’s on pace for 80 touchdowns and zero interceptions this year. Clearly, he might be the greatest first-year quarterback since Kurt Warner circa 1999, via the Greatest Show on Turf. Hopefully he’ll keep this up and I can post it on my “another fucking bad decision in fantasy” checklist I keep hanged above my bed.

Of course, I’m not even sure Mahomes’ performance was the best news of the week for Colby. Matt Breida dominated Alfred Morris in stats this week. He delivered 159 total yards, that included a 66-yard touchdown. Meanwhile, Morris had more touches for a lot less yards. Is the San Francisco second-year back ready for a role in Colby’s starting lineup?

#6 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART He’s back. He’s back in the win column, he’s back over 1,500, but is he really back? Two weeks in and Bob has yet to see a 100-yard game from Ezekiel Elliott and despite the 344 fantasy points by Deshaun Watson, the dude is getting crushed. He’s been hit over two dozen times in two games. He has the same amount of touchdowns as he has turnovers (3) and he’s been sacked 7 times. Add in his failed runs and Watson has gained zero yards or lost yards 13 times.

#7 HUNT FOR THE GOLDEN JOHNSON Rob has plenty of blame to go around for this defeat. He can point to Larry Fitzgerald for leaving his game early with a hamstring injury. Perhaps he can blame Zuerlein, who didn’t play at all. Luckily, he avoided having to blame himself. As someone like Rob should know the rules, because Zuerlein didn’t play, he could have replaced him with any the kickers on Sunday night or Monday night for $10 of auction money. Instead, he did nothing. Fortunately for him, none of those kickers would have put him over the top. Thus, instead…let’s blame the refs.

Let me explain. In the Vikings/Packers game, Clay Matthews was called for an awful roughing the passer call. At this point, we should just throw on the red jerseys and play two-hand touch with the quarterbacks. Anyhow, on that play, the Packers intercepted Cousins throw, thus ending the game. Well, thanks to the penalty, Cousins and the Vikings kept the ball, drove it down and scored a game-tying touchdown pass. Those yards, plus the touchdown, plus whatever yards Cousins got in overtime, were more than enough in Rob’s 93-point defeat.

#8 SPACE FORCE Typically, when Griff finds himself short a running back or two, it’s because some stud back has broken his back and is out for the entire year. This season, he drafted himself into a little hole. With Devonta Freeman sitting out, Coleman had a solid game, so when Freeman does return, what will be their roles? You can’t be a #1 back if you’re in a timeshare.

As for Royce Freeman, the rookie probably wishes he was in a timeshare. For the second straight week, Phillip Lindsay was the chosen one. He had nearly double the touches and four times the yards (Lindsay: 15-111-0 to Freeman: 8-28-1). Hard t believe Griff wasn’t willing to drop more than $8 to land Lindsay this past week (Burrier got him for only $7).

#9 THE DICK-TATERS Worse than the second straight loss this week, Rich failed to escape the weekend with either of his starting backs still in their respected lineups, as both Joe Mixon and LeSean McCoy were injured. Mixon is expected to miss a couple of games, so look for Gio Bernard to come with a price via the wire. The good news with McCoy is that there was no long-term damage, so he’s expected to play through the pain. Wait, is that good news?

At least those wide receivers dominated (Thielen and Hopkins: 19 catches, 241 yards and two scores). Of course, with Ryan’s performance in Atlanta, I wonder if we have a quarterback controversy in Tater land.

#10 TRUMP? Burrier actually made some good decisions this week, picking up Lindsay (who scored 222) and putting Sanders into the starting lineup (192 points), but besides that, the matchups didn’t work in his favor. His beloved Pats had no chance in Jacksonville, as both Brady (246) and especially Gronk (30 points) were kept in check. Meanwhile, the Packers D earned a goose egg in a 75-minute game against the Vikings.

Hopefully, he won’t be without Fournette for too long, as Ajayi again was stuck in a committee. He got just seven of the team’s 24 carries.

#11 JUST SERVIN IT At least for a week, Delanie Walker was missed, as his replacement, Jonnu Smith, was shutout. At running back, Chris Thompson was a joke running the ball (4 carries, one yard), but he did actually catch 13 of his 14 targets for a productive 92 yards.

Once again, running back will be Eric’s achilles heel, especially with Kerryon Johnson just a member of a backfield committee. No one in league history has had a harder time with backs like Eric. Ignoring Marc, who has been here one season, he’s the only person who has never had a 1st-team All-Robio running back. In 17 years in this league, Eric has had just two All-Robio backs total, in second-teamers, Matt Forte in 2011 and Ray Rice in 2012. That’s it. I don’t foresee that changing this season. It’s hard to be a champion without backs.

#12 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT You think one win, thanks to a monster performance by Kirk Cousins, is going to get me moved out of the last spot? Think again. With no Gordon (who knows what he’s going to do in New England) and no Baldwin (out for a couple weeks at least), I managed just 114 points from my receivers. Obviously Stills is the true heart break, as I basically swapped Mahomes for Cousins, thinking he could be a legit WR2. He got just three targets all game (fifth most on the team) and was a non-factor to end all non-factors.

Hell, the throwaway guy (Hogan) scored 204 points, thanks to two touchdowns. I hate fantasy sports, because all these types of wins will do is prevent me from earning the top overall pick.

WEEK THREE

ROBIO (L) ERIC (W) 901.0 – 1140.0 JEFF (L) MARC (W) 1270.0 – 1343.0 GRIFF (W) MATT (L) 1526.0 – 934.0 BOB (W) DON (L) 1637.0 – 1402.0 RICH C (W) COLBY(L) 1540.0 – 1495.0 ROB M (W) RICH B (L) 1631.0 – 913.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

If three weeks of football told us anything, it’s that we can look forward to a Chiefs/Rams Superbowl! Sadly, we don’t live in a world where three weeks decides anything. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re doing well, then a playoff invite looks possible, but the road is long, the journey ain’t easy and somewhere, out there, Bob lurks.

#1 KAMARA SUTRA Through three weeks, we got what we expected from Kamara…he’s the top back in football with 1,080 fantasy points. While he’s been the primary back with 37 carries, he’s once again doing his damage through the air. He has 10 catches per game and 289 yards receiving. Yet, he is only averaged 3.8 yards per carry, the lowest average among the top-10 fantasy backs.

Why does this matter? Because Mark Ingram is returning from his three-game suspension. Over the last five seasons he has averaged 4.9, 4.3, 4.6, 5.1 and 4.9 yards per carry. There is no doubt he’ll be a part of this offense, so the question is, much does Kamara loss?

#2 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART The good news was that Bob’s stars shined this week. Watson was in comeback mode throughout the entire second half and managed to turn a dud into a stud-like 388 fantasy points. Carlos Hyde scored two one-yard touchdowns and delivered 326 and is a top-15 back, despite averaging just 3.3 yards per carry on the season. Even Elliot this week had 138 total yards, but a fumble and lack of a touchdown kept him at 246.

Still, injuries to some of the smaller players won’t make life easier for Bob. Engram is out at TE after suffering a knee injury. Burkhead left the Patriots game early with a neck injury and since Jimmy G tore his ACL out in San Francisco, it’s hard to see Marquise Goodwin having any fantasy value.

#3 ALTERED BOYZ Just like Ray Liotta’s character in “Goodfellas”, Pattini continues to get rich off his Pittsburgh connection. Rape Roethlisberger delivered 354 points, thanks to three touchdowns, while Smith-Schuster is currently the 5th best wide receiver in football. Take that Robio’s Predictions.

Of course, what to do with Amari Cooper, the gift that keeps on giving…you shit scores. Sandwhich’d around his 232 point game in week two are two absolute bombs; 36 in week one, 34 this week.

#4 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL What a shit day for Drake. The Dolphins running back got just five carries all game. It didn’t help that as a team, Miami ran just 39 offensive plays (yet still won). At this point, I’m not sure Drake is even worth a starting spot. He has just 104 yards on the season on 30 carries. Jeff’s got two backs on his bench who have outperformed him (Lynch & Ekeler).

#5 DAVID THE PATRIOT Patrick Mahomes did nothing to disprove he’s the best quarterback in football (three more scores, 314 yards and no turnovers) in a game where the Chiefs took their foot off the gas. Better yet, while Colby is relying on a couple of handcuffs this week (Bernard and Coleman), his depth showed up, as seven players top 200 and that doesn’t even include Marvin Jones’ 196. Matt Breida, who flies a bit under the radar out west, is averaging a stunning 8.6 yards per carry.

Unfortunately for Mr. Hall, the best players were on his bench this week. If he plays either Crowell, Breida or Collins over Coleman, he wins. If he plays Brown, Jones or Allison over Hogan, he wins.

Yet, the big concern has to be Antonio Brown. For the second straight game, Smith-Schuster was the better receiver in Pittsburgh, getting more targets, catching more ball, scoring more fantasy points. Right now, Smith-Schuster has 772 points to Brown’s 540.

#6 BELL’S PALSY Thanks to the fact that James Conner got 17 yards in the final 2:30 of the game last night, Matt avoided earning the week’s lowest score, but he couldn’t do anything to prevent a 1-2 start.

So yeah, Matt might have jumped the gun on Carson Wentz. With the Eagles signal caller making his first start of the year, Matt decided to not take a “wait-n-see” approach and dropped him into the starting lineup. Well, Wentz looked rusty (five sacks, two turnovers), while Goff had his best game as a pro (three touchdowns, 354 yards). Luckily, the 260-point difference didn’t cost him the game; just his pride.

Of course, decision making is what Neatock will be needing to do from this moment forward at RB2. With the return of Aaron Jones, Jamaal Williams got just five carries against the Redskins and the only touchdown opportunity went to Jones as well. Worse yet, with Jones averaging 7.0 yards per carry on Sunday, I’m not sure how Williams ups his run per game average from here on out.

#7 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK This week, everything was coming up Rob. Kareem Hunt only got 44 yards rushing, but he received 18 of the team’s 19 carries, including both touches on the one-yard line, scoring his first two touchdowns on the season. This is important, as we weren’t sure what role Ware would play this season on the goal line. At least for one week the answer is: none.

More importantly though, Masterson’s success will fall onto the shoulders of the Carolina Panthers offense. Cam Newton again did not shine as a passer, but that’s never where his value lied. It has always been his legs. Prior to the season, the coaching staff was talking about a need to protect Newton (which means less runs). Well, that’s not happening. Newton ran for 36 yards and scored twice on two called quarterback runs, deep in the red zone. Right now, he’s on pace for career marks in rushing attempts, yards and touchdowns.

Lastly, did you know that Christian McCaffrey had never rushed for more than 66 yards in a game before? I did not know that. Well, he shattered that mark this week, rushing the ball 28 times for a stunning 184 yards. Prior to the season, I had McCaffrey as a All-Robio back and don’t look now, but he’s the 5th best back in football, which is even more amazing considering he has yet to score a touchdown this season.

#8 SPACE FORCE What makes fantasy football great is when it forces people to cheer for their enemies. For example, Masterson cheering on Tom Brady the last few years. Me, I’m rooting for the Giants running game. For Griff, a lifelong Buccaneers fan, his second favorite team is now the Saints with his New Orleans connection.

Drew Brees, despite being 104 years old, continues to defy father time. For the second time in three weeks, Brees has thrown the ball 45+ times, nearly hit 400 yards for a second time and on the season has 8 touchdowns to no interceptions.

The best yet…his favorite target is Griff’s top receiver. Michael Thomas is currently the top wide receiver in fantasy and is on pace for 2,123 yards. He’s caught a stunning 95% of the 40 balls thrown his way.

The problem this team will have is that Griff doesn’t have any Saints running backs and those two are masking a few problems. Yeldon scored a decent 180, but this will probably be his last start. Keenan Allen has disappeared from the Chargers offense (just 7 catches in his last two games) and the only reason Royce Freeman put up stats is because Lindsay got kicked out of the game for throwing a punch.

#9 THE DICK-TATERS Calderon made the right choice, knocking out Luck for Matt Ryan, who exploded for 582 points. He now has 1,008 combined points in his last two and is the best fantasy quarterback not named Mahomes. More importantly, that decision helped him avoid an ugly 0-3 start to the year, as Rich managed to hold off Colby by just 45 points.

Oddly enough, while Ryan tossed a stunning five touchdowns against the Saints, no other player on Rich’s team managed a single score. That’s hard to do when you consider his backs, receivers and tight end combine to get a solid 50 touches this week.

#10 TRUMP? Quickly, Team Trump is becoming Team Help, I need a trainer. He’s been without Fournette since week one, he’s missing Ajayi and he just lost his backup quarterback (Garoppolo) for the season.

Yet, go ahead and blame the homer picks. While someone like Marc is feasting off his favorite team, Burrier’s Patriots are dragging him down. Tom Brady looked just awful against the Lions. He was only sacked twice and he often had a lot of time to throw, but no one was ever open.

Typically, he’s relied on Rob Gronkowski, but since the Pats literally have nobody worth throwing to, the Lions simply doubled up Gronk the entire game. Rich’s game-changing TE has just nine targets, six catches for 66 yards and no scores in his last two games, aftering going 8-7-123-1 in week one.

#11 JUST SERVIN IT Rookie Calvin Ridley has become a touchdown machine down in Atlanta. He had 155 yards and three scores against the Saints and he has four total touchdowns the last two weeks. Meanwhile, Julio Jones, Eric’s actual starter has gone eight straight regular season games without a touchdown. He has scored in just two of his last 19 regular season games.

#12 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT This week was a tough to watch, as I have become a defacto Vikings fan and if things are going wrong for them, they’re going wrong for me. And boy, shit went wrong. Kirk Cousins was sacked and fumbled on his first two offensive plays against the Bills. He finished with three turnovers, which erased any joy I got from his 295 comeback yards he produced in the second half.

Overall, five players, including Murray (subbing in for an injured Cook) and Callaway failed to even score 100 fantasy points. Fuck, you know things are bad when your defense is giving up 379 yards to Eli Fucking Manning at home.

WEEK FOUR

JEFF (W) ROBIO (L) 1578.0 – 1298.0 GRIFF (L) ROB M (W) 1093.0 – 1273.0 MATT (L) RICH C (W) 1055.0 – 2071.0 BOB (W) ERIC (L) 1961.0 – 1353.0 DON (L) COLBY(W) 1610.0 – 1717.0 MARC (L) RICH B (W) 1097.0 – 1660.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

It’s only been four weeks, but there have already been 12 games this season in which a QB has passed for 400+ yards. There were only eight TOTAL last year. It’s like the NFL has become the BIG-12. Obviously, the rules changes have played a part, as a high-five by a defender could lead to roughing the passer call. Still, credit initiative coaching. Some of these teams are just fun to watch. What’s it mean for us? Lots and lots of fantasy points…unless you are me.

#1 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART Yep, American’s Sweetheart is back where he was when the season first began. That 761-point week one bomb is a distant memory. Since then, Bob has broken 1,500 in three straight games, scoring more each week during a three-game winning streak. How good has he been? Since week two, Bob is 30-3 in breakdown.

The math is simple…the better DeShaun Watson does, the better Bob does. For the fourth straight week, Watson’s fantasy numbers got better, going from 166 to 344, up to 388 and then 412 this week. Of course, this week, a long lasting overtime game certainly helped get him to 42 passing attempts (six runs) and 416 total yards. Now, as always, the key for him is surviving. He was sacked seven times by the less-than-impressive Colts defense and Watson has been sacked 17 times on the season. He’s on pace for over 70 sacks for the year. That’s not survivable.

Yet, even better for Bob was the fact that the Cowboys suddenly remembered they have this guy Zeke Elliot and they should get him the ball many times. This past week, he was the Cowboys offense, contributing 240 of the team’s 414 yards, giving Bob 540 points. He’s now the fourth best back in fantasy (if total points are what matters to you).

#2 KAMARA SUTRA No shame in this week’s defeat. Losing a game, despite scoring over 1,600 is pretty damn hard to do. Alvin Kamara continued to dominate. With Drew Brees sputtering, the Saints back got 22 touches and turn them into 11 yards and three rushing touchdowns (542 yards). If he can somehow continue this pace with Mark Ingram back this week, this will be the third year in a row the top back in fantasy was traded by Bob the year before.

Of course, the key to a title is having a great starting lineup and just leaving it alone. Yet, I’m not sure that’s a realistic option for Donnie. At quarterback, Russell Wilson looks like a shell of his former self. He’s failed to crack 200 yards passing in his last two and has not reach 300 in a season where everyone and their mother is knocking out 400-yard passing games. Worst yet, where’s the runs? His stats always dominated because he ran the ball, but this season, he has just 42 yards rushing in four games. Is Alex Smith the better option?

#3 THE DICK-TATERS Obviously, I don’t keep these kind of records, but I have to believe this might be the first time in league history that a team started three wide receivers and all three broke 300 fantasy points. Hopkins, Thielen and Cooks combined for 25 catches for 430 yards and three scores. Compare that to me. I have five receivers on my roster. Combined, they produced 21 catches for 272 yards and one score. Adam Thielen is now the top wide receiver in fantasy, with both Hopkins and Cooks cracking the top-10. Too bad Rich can’t go four-wide with Golladay, because this is a passing league and going three-wide may not be the handicap it once was.

Still, the real difference maker has been Matt Ryan. For the third straight game, the Falcons found themselves in a shootout and for the third straight game, Ryan delivered a 400-point effort. In his last three, he has thrown for 1,065 yards, 10 touchdowns to just one interception. How crazy are things for Ryan and the Falcons? Since 1940, teams that score 36+ points at home with zero turnovers are 402-4. The Falcons have two of those losses.

#5 DAVID THE PATRIOT Last night, Colby sweated out a late victory. The Broncos had managed to put a little clamp on Mahomes for most of the night, holding him to no touchdown passes and even shutout Kelce for the first half. Well, both awoke in the second. Mahomes again proved to be deadly on the move. In fact, outside the pocket, he completed 10 of 15 passes for 192 yards. That’s impressive. Yet, with six minutes remaining in the game, Colby still trailed. That is until Mahomes hit Kelce on a well designed TE screen from the two-yard line. That would be the difference between a great win and a painful loss.

Yet, it wasn’t just his Chiefs connection. Colby’s stolen handcuffs continue to produce, as Bernard and Coleman combined for a solid 466 points this week. This remains the big question mark for me with this team? Handcuffs have a shelf life. What happens to Colby’s backfield once Mixon and Freeman return?

Speaking of steals, the real steal could be John Brown. The 14th round pick is proving to be Joe Flacco’s favorite target. Of course, in reality, he only has caught 15 of his 30 targets, but he’s managed a solid 22.5 yards per catch (338 yards) and three scores.

#3 ALTERED BOYZ Marc got reintroduced to losing again, suffering his first defeat of the year, barely avoiding the weekly low score. Obviously, there were some bad breaks. Sammy Watkins scored zero points after injuring his hamstring. Meanwhile, Lamar Miller didn’t finish the game either, managing only 49 yards on 14 carries. Fun fact: It’s been 22 games since Miller has rushed for 100 yards in a game. That’s…that’s not good.

Of course, Marc has been riding his Steelers connection through three weeks, so it’s no surprise, when they fail…he fails. The Walking Rape Machine managed just one touchdown to one interception. He has just 8 scores to five interceptions on the year. He did throw the ball to JuJu 11 times, but JuJu only caught four of those balls (for 60 yards).

#4 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL This week, Jeff earns a “great decision” sticker, sitting the bum that is Drake and inserting Marshawn Lynch into his lineup. The Raiders back had his best game of the season with 157 total yards (314 points), 282 more points than Drake. How much did that matter? Well, Jeff won by just 280 points.

Yet, what Melvin Gordon is doing is utterly amazing. He’s having his best year running the ball, averaging 5.1 yards per carry (not bad for a guy who never averaged four yards per carry). Oddly enough, he’s never had more than 15 carries in a game, but instead he’s doing it through the air (24 catches, 199 yards) and scoring (five touchdowns).

#6 BELL’S PALSY Last year, Matt dominated this league with arguable the best backfield in history, with Bell and Gurley. Those days were a long time ago. With James Conner starting to prove he’s no Le’Veon Bell (twice in three weeks he’s had under 10 carries) and with Jamaal Williams taking a backseat to Aaron Jones, Matt has a running back problem. This week, his duo combined for 162 points or what Todd Gurley and Le’Veon Bell use to call…the first half. Let the Frank Gore era begin! Just kidding.

Speaking of awful running, I know he’s not relevant to Matt’s success or failure, but we need to talk about how bad Peyton Barber has been. The sixth-round pick was a nice sleeper after winning the starting job in Tampa, but there has been no worse running back in the league. If Matt cut him today, would anyone pick him up? He has just 148 yards in four games, on 50 carries for a 3.0 yard average. He has zero touchdowns and only 13 yards receiving.

#7 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK Masterson has not had a great year. He’s scored over 1,300 just once, yet he has two wins. This is not a negative. Sometimes it takes a little while for a team to find its way, but if you can sneak in a couple wins while you’re figuring it out, then gold.

This week, Rob was down two of arguable his more important players, yet still won, riding the legs of Kareem Hunt, who finally looked like the “first month of 2017” Kareem Hunt. With Mahomes and the passing game struggling, Hunt got 22 touches and delivered 175 yards and his third score in three weeks. Most importantly, Ware again barely saw the field, proving that this backfield, belongs to Hunt.

Next week, we’ll start to see what Masterson is all about. He gets Cam and McCaffrey back, plus Edelmann will be back from suspension. If he can rediscover his 2016 form, he’ll look nice next to Robert Woods in Rob’s starting lineup.

#8 SPACE FORCE This week, Griff’s New Orleans connection looked human in New York and when they look human, Griff will struggle to win. Brees completed only 18 passes and finished with no touchdowns and 134 fantasy points. Michael Thomas, who was the top receiver heading into the game, was held to just four catches for 47 yards. It also didn’t help that OJ Howard got hurt and produced a goose egg at tight end.

Of course, what might prove to be the most frustrating thing this week for Griff has to be what happened in the Seahawks game. In that contest, Chris Carson was out for the game. This meant Penny, their first-round pick, would get his moment to shine and take that starting job. Um, no. Instead, Mike Davis got 21 carries (four receptions) and finished with 124 yards and two scores. Does this make Penny a third stringer?

#10 TRUMP? Lost deep within a impressive win over undefeated Marc is that the injuries are really starting to pile up. For the second time this year, Fournette failed to escape the injury tent and failed to finish the game. He’s now questionable. On top of that, Rob Gronkowski got hurt, injuring his ankle, thus he is questionable next week. Of course, it’s questionable if he’s still a great tight end. Over his last three games, he has just 10 catches for 110 yards and no scores. Let the Vance McDonald era begin.

#11 JUST SERVIN IT Perhaps it’s time to accept the reality…Jordan Howard is an average back. As a rookie, he average 5.1 yards per carry. Last year, that average dipped to 4.1 per rush. This season, he’s managed just 203 yards on 64 carries, which is only 3.2 yards per carry. In a game that featured the best offense output by the Bears since about 1942, Howard was an afterthought. He had just 25 yards on 11 carries, while Cohen was the real factor from the backfield. He had 53 yards on 13 carries and added in 121 yards receiving on seven catches.

#12 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT Bad teams lose football games. Bad teams that have a owner who makes bad decisions lose a lot of football games. This week, I got Josh Gordon, Alshon Jeffery and Doug Baldwin back. I didn’t know who to start. I picked Gordon over Jeffery. That decision cost me 206 points. Meanwhile, I benched Cook for Burton. The Bears TE had a great game, but Cook was amazing and that decision cost me 108 points. In total, two decisions I made Sunday morning cost me 314 points. I lost by 280 points.

WEEK FIVE

RICH B (W) ROBIO (L) 1448.0 – 920.0 GRIFF (L) JEFF (W) 1318.0 – 1606.0 DON (L) MATT (W) 984.0 – 1859.0 BOB (W) ROB M (L) 1442.0 – 1095.0 ERIC (W) COLBY(L) 1452.0 – 1385.0 MARC (W) RICH C (L)1702.0 – 1324.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Five weeks are in the books and only a third of the league has a winning record, as three teams (Jeff, Bob, Marc) are hogging up all the wins (12-3 combined).Burrier, despite being just 10th in scoring, is the only 3-2 team in the league.

Colby is rocking the scoring crown, but he’s certainly not walking away with it. Eight other teams are within 1,000 points. The league has already seen three 3-game losing streaks (Robio, Matt, Don) and Bob is the first person to win four-straight.

#1 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART Prior to the season, I said that Neatock made a mistake, passing on Devonta Adams for A.J. Green, thus handing a gift to Bob. However, so far, they’ve been even. Adams has 1,090 fantasy points, while Green has 1,088 points on the season. However, it looks like Bob is now needing to rely on the other Bengals receiver.

Marquise Goodwin’s season has been a disaster, as he has struggled to stay healthy, plus he lost his quarterback. Bob had penciled him as his starting WR2, but now he’s not even on his roster. After getting a zero in week one, Bob did managed to get a solid next three weeks (187 points per game) starting three different receivers. This week, Tyler Boyd became the first receiver other than Adams to start two weeks in a row, although he failed to impress with a 4-44-0 effort against the Fins.

#2 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL Mr. Greenblatt gets a nice boost this week. A lot of it has to do with the second straight solid performance from Sony Michel, who, thanks to all the injuries in the Patriots’ backfield, has a real shot to becoming a legit RB1. Jeff already has one RB1 (Gordon) and two WR1s (Beckham, Gordon). For him, it comes down to Matt Stafford. Can he be great (two 300-point games so far) or will he eventually lead to his destruction with one of his classic 100-point fantasy games in the semifinals?

#3 DAVID THE PATRIOT With both Freeman and Mixon back, Colby was forced to go back to his starting backfield of Matt Breida and Alex Collins. The latter actually looked good running the ball, but Buck Allen continued to be a thorn in his side. Breida was even better, but he hurt his ankle and is going to have to sit for a bit.

Meanwhile, Mahomes almost looked human. He tossed two interceptions and didn’t throw for a TD (he ran for one), but 224 points against arguably the league’s best defense is pretty damn good. He won’t have to face them again.

#4 THE DICK-TATERS Sort of a strange loss for Calderon. Matt Ryan threw 38 passes, but managed just 180 fantasy points. Brandin Cooks was knocked out with a concussion and failed to score a single point. Yet, there were some positives.

Joe Mixon returned in a big way and showed the league why he was a All-Robio candidate before getting hurt. With Bernard out, he got all the running back touches and dominated with 290 fantasy points.

On top of that, Adam Thielen continues his record setting pace. He became the first receiver in the Super Bowl era to record five-straight 100-yard games to open a season. He’s one pace to score 3,530 fantasy points in our regular season, which would be a record.

#5 ALTERED BOYZ Is Marc about to have a running back problem? Seems silly to ask about a team with Todd Gurley, yet here we are. This past Sunday night, the Texans basically benched Lamar Miller. Despite not being hurt and being active, he never once saw the field. Now luckily, Marc could handle it this week, as he was prepared for it and slipped in Alfred Morris. With Breida out injured now, Morris is a solid start. However, once Breida is back and Morris is back in a timeshare, what will be Pattini’s solution?

#6 KAMARA SUTRA There are some worrying signs coming from the Sutra. Don’s lost three in a row and this week he failed to hit 1,000, which is something I didn’t think was possible heading into the season.

The biggest concern right now has to be that effort from Kamara Monday night. In a game that saw the Saints toss it around like bosses and scored 43 points, the second-year back was an afterthought. He got just nine touches (3 receiving, 6 carries), getting 78 total fantasy points. He was averaging 405 points per contest, heading into the game.

Of course, one big problem was Mark Ingram. Returning from suspension, he had 16 carries for 53 yards and was given the goal line carries (he scored twice). It’s just one game, but if this becomes the norm, wins could become a challenge for Don…unless when he plays me.

#7 BELL’S PALSY Clearly, Neatock is relying heavily on James Conner. When he does well, Matt wins. When he’s average at best, Matt does not win. Case in point. In Neatock’s two victories, Conner has 377 combined yards, four scores and averages 482 points per contest. In Matt’s three defeats, Conner has just 204 total yards, one score and averages 169 points per game.

#8 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK Masterson actually got some solid efforts this week. In fact, four players scored at least 240 fantasy points. His running backs combined for 187 total yards and two scores. His receivers caught 12 balls for over 200 yards. Yer, the negative performances were too much for Rob to overcome.

The Broncos DST, playing against his beloved Jets, gave up 512 yards and 34 points. They finished with -31. Rob’s kicker, Mason Crosby, who somehow still has a job Tuesday morning, missed a record four field goals and a extra point, costing Rob -80 points.

#9 TRUMP? It’s hard to judge this team until Fournette returns. Fact is, Jay Ajayi turned out to be a massive fail. This week, he had just eight carries and fumbled one of those…then tore his ACL and is done for the year. The Eagles will probably go full committee, so it’s not like there is a perfect handcuff to grab.

#10 JUST SERVIN IT This week, Eric placed two receivers on the same team in this starting lineup. The last person to do that was Colby when he started Alshon Jeffery and Brandon Marshall a few years back. Anyhow, at least this week, it didn’t work out so well.

Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley combined for just nine catches, 100 yards and 200 fantasy points. However, every other player scored at least 100 on this team, led by Aaron Rodgers. In comeback all game long, the Packers QB threw the ball 52 times for three touchdowns and 414 fantasy points.

#11 SPACE FORCE Once Leo Fournette returns to the starting lineup in Jacksonville, things are going to get real ugly for Griff. His handcuff, Yeldon, was solid with 304 fantasy points. However, Griff has the handcuff, but not the starter. He has the two Freeman boys and they are not good right now. Devonta returned from injury and split the field with two other backs (he got 10 touches for 41 yards).

Meanwhile, Royce continues to basically backup Lindsay. He got just five carries (compared to Lindsay’s 12). His greatest mistake this season might be failing to outbid Burrier for Lindsay’s services.

#12 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT 22, 114, 222, 144, 80. What are these magical numbers? These are the combined points my two starting wide receivers have scored each week. Again, that’s not one receiver. That’s two receivers. If you add up the 10 combined starts my starting receivers have produced, they would be the 44th ranked individual receiver in fantasy. Hell, five current wide receivers that are free agents have more fantasy points on the season than my starting receivers.

WEEK SIX

ROBIO (W) DON (L) 2381.0 – 1500.0 MARC (W) GRIFF (L) 1818.0 – 1146.0 MATT (L) ERIC (W) 1278.0 – 1466.0 BOB (W) JEFF (L) 1545.0 – 1338.0 ROB M (W) COLBY(L) 1733.0 – 1303.0 RICH C (W) RICH B (L) 1549.0 – 1218.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

First, we need to talk about the elephant in the room. That elephant would be my week six score. Somehow, everything came together for the league’s lowest scoring team (me) and Sir Lose-a-lot became Sir Score-a-lot. My team scored 2,385 points, which is the second most points ever scored in a single game. Yet, just to show you how amazing Masterson’s record setting performance was back in 2003, I’m still 116 points behind the record. Also, Don didn’t do too bad himself, as we combined for 3,887 points, which is the third most combined points ever scored in a game.

Second, we need to talk about this amazing stat: Right now, only three teams in the league have a winning record (Marc, Bob and Jeff). Four teams sit at .500 and the rest are all 2-4. Technically that could not change next week, as none of the 3-3 teams will face off next week.

Anyhow, onto the rankings…

#1 THE DICK-TATERS With Joe Mixon back in the mix, Calderon can roll out arguable one of the best foursomes in football. The Bengals back has over 220 fantasy points in three of his four games and the only one where he doesn’t, was the one he got hurt. Adam Thielen continues to be football’s best wide receiver (six straight 100 yard games) and let’s not forget about Hopkins, who still managed to hit 186, despite a horrible passing game by Watson.

For him, it’s all about making good decisions at the flex, but with Cooks, Ingram, McCoy and Golladay, he has plenty of solid options, which is why I’m shipping Calderon into the top spot this week.

#2 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART Holy fuck balls, that was a shitty performance by a quarterback. Against the Bills, Deshaun Watson was sacked seven times and fumbled twice, showing once again, that offensive line blows.

The good news though was the continue play of those wide receivers. Devonta Adams looked like an elite wideout Monday night (132 yards and two scores). Also, Tyler Boyd had a two touchdown game against the Steelers and he’s starting to give A.J. Green a run for his money as the alpha male in the Bengals’ receiving core. Right now, Boyd has three less targets, but four more catches, for 17 more yards and one less score. He trails Green by only 98 fantasy points.

Speaking of catching, David Njoku is starting to look like a nice tier 2 tight end. His targets and catches have gone up every week that Baker Mayfield has been the starter. This week, the former Hurricane, who was a beast in the red zone in college, finally got his first touchdown on the season.

#3 ALTERED BOYZ Todd Gurley once again showed why he is arguable the most dangerous back in fantasy football. After beginning the season with four straight 300-point games, he’s gotten even better, going for 406 last week and 570 this week; thanks to 208 yards rushing. Still, he’s gold because he’s a beast in the red zone. He’s scored in every game this season and has 11 touchdowns on the year.

Right now, he’s on pace to average 401 points per contest. No running back has technically averaged over 400 points per game. However, our scoring changed back in 2014. If Tomlinson had today’s scoring back in 2006, he would have average over 420 fantasy points per game.

#4 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL Sure, Jeff can point the finger for his defeat at Matt Stafford’s bye-week replacement. Brock Bortles was the third best thrower on the field, after Dak Prescott and Conor McGregor. Jeff could also lay some blame on Beckham’s failed performance (88) and Mike Evans only getting 58 yards and no scores in a game where the Bucs passed for 395 yards and four passing touchdowns. Yet, I want Jeff to stand up, look in the mirror and blame that guy. He’s the reason why Jeff lost this week.

Thanks to a depletion of players in the New England backfield, Sony Michel is arguable the steal of the draft. Since becoming the starter, he had 43 carries in two games, 210 yards, two scores and 564 fantasy points. Yet, despite the fact the Patriots would be at home facing the Chiefs, the league’s worst run defense in fantasy, Jeff sat Michel for Marshawn Lynch, who was coming off a 80-point fantasy game. Well, that decision cost Jeff 214 points. He lost to Bob by 207 points.

#4 DAVID THE PATRIOT Here is the reality of fantasy football…there is no such thing as momentum. Two weeks ago John Brown dominated with 298 fantasy points. Since then, he has scored 116 points and then just 56 points. Against Cleveland two weeks ago, he was targeted a stunning 14 times, but caught just four balls. This week against the Titans, he was targeted just three times (catching two).

Speaking of flopping during a sequel. Isaiah Crowell was a beast last week against the Broncos. He rushed for 219 yards and gave no one 522 fantasy points. This week, he got the start and managed just 40 yards on 13 carries (104 fantasy points).

#6 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK Okay, we could use this space to talk about the usual stuff. Cam is good, Hunt has two 400-point games in his last three outings. Rob’s bench is stacked with solid RB2 backs. However, I’m going to use this opportunity to talk about history. That’s just what I do.

Historically, Rob is the king of opponent’s points. For his career, his foes have scored a average of 1,330 points per game, which is obvious the highest average in the league. This season though, his opponents are not showing up like they had in the past. In fact, the 7,559 points Rob has faced this season through six weeks is the lowest in the league. Yet, he needed to beat Colby this week, just to get back to .500 and back into the playoff picture (currently the 6-seed).

Fact is, not all low point totals are created equally. The 1,259 points per game Masterson’s foes are producing, would be the most ever for the league’s “luckiest” team. If he can’t do better than a 6-seed, it would be the third worst finish ever with the team facing the lowest point total. In fact, for five straight seasons, the luckiest team has finished as the top seed, as well as 10 out of the last 12. Back in 2012, I was the last person to having the opponents score the least and not finish first (I finished 4th).

Other fun facts: The lowest points anyone has ever faced was former league member, Justin Hanright. His opponents averaged just 948 points per game. The only person who faced the lowest point total and failed to make the playoffs was Eric. His foes once averaged 1,077, yet he finished in 9th place.

#7 KAMARA SUTRA Is it time to panic down in South Florida? No, not really. Plenty of teams have suffered through four-game losing streaks and still made deep playoff runs. Russell Wilson is looking better lately. He’s produced 620 fantasy points in his last two, throwing six touchdowns to just one interception. David Johnson is still not dominating like a second overall pick should, but he has 58 carries over the last three weeks, after getting just 34 the first three weeks.

Next week, Kamara will be back from his bye and let’s not forget about T.Y. Hilton. He’s been out hurt for two weeks and once he’s healthy, will be the top target in a high-flying offense.

#8 BELL’S PALSY Stunningly, for the fourth straight week, Matt has had to make a decision at quarterback and for the fourth straight week, he made a bad decision between Carson Wentz and Jeff Goff. How bad has it been?

Over the last four weeks, Matt’s starting quarterback has scored 754 points (188.5 per game). On his bench, his quarterback has scored 1,718 (429.5 points per game). Matt’s poor quarterback decisions have cost him nearly 1,000 fantasy points and this week, at least one win.

#9 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT Obviously, good decision making played a part in my team’s performance this week. I took out Cousins and put in Winston and that got me 284 points. I decided to start Murray over Aaron Jones and I got rewarded with an extra 296 points. I cut the Texans D for the Ravens D and that added 101 points to my score. Lastly, I kept Baldwin in over Stills and Gordon and that gave me about another 90 points. So good decisions gave me an extra 771 points.

Yet, let’s give credit where credit is due. Barkley, who has gotten better each week, had his elite breakdown performance on Thursday with 518 points. Right now, he’s current a second-team All-Robio player, about 90 points behind Melvin Gordon for a spot on the first-team. This is huge for me. I haven’t had a first-team All-Robio back since Adrian Peterson back in 2010. Back when I was good, I dominated with stud backs. I had seven 1st-team All-Robio running backs in my first 12 seasons in the league.

#10 JUST SERVIN IT Wow, this feels like a lucky victory. Eric got just 108 points from his only running back and the Bears laid an extreme egg against the Dolphins. How bad were the Bears D? They failed to get a single sack against a backup quarterback with two offensive linemen out injured. Hell, according to the stat sheet, they hit the quarterback just once…in a 70 minute game.

Luckily, Eric got digits from the little guys. Austin Hooper had his best game of the year with nine catches, 71 yards and his second score (202 points). Gostkowski kicked five field goals, including a 50 yarder for a solid 260. He was one of five kickers to break 200 this week, led by soon-to-not-be-a-free agent, Jason Myers, who scored 340 fantasy points.

#11 SPACE FORCE For obvious reasons, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about Griff’s lack of running power. He has little and once Leo Fournette comes back, he might have none. There will be no championship mug with his backfield. However, it’s not just the backs who are failing him.

When healthy, Keenan Allen had proved to be an elite wide receiver. The kind of guy you mentioned when you talked about Hopkins and Julio, but not this year. After delivering 108 yards and one touchdown in week one, he has yet to hit the 100 yards in a game and he’s failed to sniff the end zone. Right now, he has six more fantasy points than Dede Westbrook and that’s not good.

#12 A+ EFFORT Strangely, it’s hard to call a guy lucky, who has been without his entire backfield for nearly the entire season, yet Rich actually has three wins, despite being last in scoring in the league. It helped that the last two weeks, both myself and Marc played our worst games of the season against Burrier. However, if he is to have any hope, he’s going to need to keep Mollying his way through the league.

Down Fournette, Ajayi (for the year) and Randall Cobb, Cooper Kupp will be joining those three on the injured list. In reality, Rich should feel lucky. I saw the play he got hurt on and I thought he was done for a long time. Now it appears it will just be week-to-week.

WEEK SEVEN

ROBIO (W) RICH C (L) 1586.0 – 1411.0 ERIC (W) DON (L) 1389.0 – 1076.0 RICH B (W) GRIFF (L) 1127.0 – 929.0 ROB M (W) MATT (L) 1943.0 – 1435.0 MARC (W) BOB (L) 1368.0 – 1024.0 COLBY(W) JEFF (L) 1632.0 – 1084.0

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Three teams dropped to 2-5, yet this being Robioland, no one can be counted out. Except Griff…fuck that guy! In reality, the entire league is within one game of the playoffs with six left to play. One could also make a strong argument that the teams currently seeded 7th and 8th are actually the league’s two best teams, simply because right now they’re first and second in scoring.

Also, a stunning eight teams are within 1,000 points of the scoring crown. Instead of having one team dominate, we have half the league capable of winning their final three games and taking home the 2018 mug.

#1 THE DICK-TATERS A loss does not make much of a dent here in Robio’s Rankings. There is a reason why there has never been no ’72 Dolphins to talk about in this league. Shit just happens. I only worry about performances and despite suffering a fourth defeat this season, Rich’s team performed well. In fact, not only is he stacked at the starter spots, Rich may have the deepest team in the league. His bench currently includes three to four guys who easily could start for most of the teams in this league, including Andrew Luck, Greg Olsen and Nick Chubb. Yep, that guy.

With LeSean McCoy playing in the worst offense in football, Derrick Henry continuing to fail like Derrick Henry always has and Mark Ingram appearingly playing second fiddle to Alvin Kamara, Rich had no choice but to go three-wide early this season. Of course, his three-wide is pretty damn impressive with Thielen, Hopkins and Cooks.

Yet, thanks to Cleveland, it appears the rich just got greddy rich, while making one of their fellow rich people poorer. When the Browns shipped off Hyde, it put his long-term viability as a fantasy starter in doubt, thus hurting Bob. At the same time, it turned Nick Chubb into a instant low-end RB1. Fact is, the Browns love to run (the lead back has averaged over 18 carries per game so far this season). In his first game as the starter (on Calderon’s bench), he wasn’t the actual starter, but the actual starter (Duke Johnson) only got one carry, while the rookie got 18, which he turned into 80 yards and a score (for 220 fantasy points).

#2 ALTERED BOYZ Down three starters, Pattini seemed to make nothing but good decisions with his replacements, as Flacco, Watkins and the Lions D combined for 556 fantasy points, subbing in for Big Ben, Smith-Schuster and the Steelers D.

Yet, the one guy who wasn’t off and is never off his game is Todd Gurley. The top overall pick continues to dominate. In game where he was “held” to 86 total yards, he still managed to score three times. On the season, he now has 14 touchdowns on the season. To put that in perspective…the entire Buffalo Bills offense has seven touchdowns on the entire season. He has scored a total of 88 points on the year. The Bills have scored 81 as a team. #statmaster

#3 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART With the addition of Michael Thomas this week, a good team just got better. He’s the leading receiver in one of the best offenses in football, easily on pace for over 1,500 yards receiving this year. He and Adams will challenge for league’s best wide receiver duo. If I was in Bob’s shoes, I’d pull this trade 10 times out of 10 oppurtinies. Not a single person would take Boyd over Thomas. Of course, the price for Thomas wasn’t Boyd, but Carson. Will Bob miss him, especially after the Hyde trade?

The fact is, it appears Bob will need to deal with an ever increasing problem at RB2/Flex. Carlos Hyde seemed like the obvious choice, but he was just shipped off to Jacksonville. What role will he play now? What role will he play once Fournette comes back?

Crowell is not the solution. He’s got just 69 yards rushing since he gained 219 yards against the Broncos three weeks ago. Bob could go three-wide with Christian Kirk, who has become the top target in Arizona. Of course, being the top target in Arizona is like being the tallest midget on the set of the “The Wizard of Oz.” With Bob, there’s always the wire and trust me, he’s not done trading, although with my most recent winning ways, he can’t count on Barkley coming his way.

#4 DAVID THE PATRIOT How good has Colby’s trade for Patrick Mahomes been? He basically swapped quarterbacks, gave up a wide receiver no one would even bother to pick up and just so happened to land the potential league MVP. Last night at home against the Bengals, the second-year quarterback and first year starter had over 400 fantasy points…at halftime. The game was such a blowout, he barely hit 100 in the second half, finishing with 518. He’s responsible for 28% of Colby’s league leading 10,631 points. Oddly enough though, the trade’s only impact have been on points (which matter latter when tiebreakers arrive). If Colby still had Kirk Cousins, every game result would be the same. The same is true for me.

Anyhow, Mahomes has now broken 400 points four times. He’s on pace for 5,018 fantasy points. In the history of Robioland football, only six quarterbacks have broken 5,000 fantasy points in our regular season and none have done it since we changed the scoring in 2014 (quarterbacks score less than they use to). In fact, if scoring was kept back then, the way it is kept now, only three quarterbacks would have hit the 5,000 mark: Peyton Manning twice (2004, 2013), Tom Brady (2007) and Aaron Rodgers (2011).

#5 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK Prior to the season, I truly believed the sneaky stud on Rob’s roster would have been white lightening (McCaffrey), yet over the last month, Kareem Hunt has looked like the old Kareem Hunt from early 2017. He has rocked out three 400+ point efforts in his last three games, suddenly treating the end zone like a second home. He has scored eight touchdowns in his last five games and his nine for the season are tied for second most with Melvin Gordon (five behind the leader, Gurley).

Of course, this week, everything was coming up gold in Masterson’s backfield. On his bench, Marlon Mack has retaken control of the Colts running game and delivered a stunning 458 points this week, while Drake, a man Jeff recently cut, has a 290-point and a 234-point effort in his last three contests. My point, depth rocks!

#6 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL In the blink of a Sunday, Jeff went from being one of the favorites to being a questionable playoff team, thanks to a series of injuries. Earlier in the week, Jeff learned that Marshawn Lynch, one of the better backups in fantasy, will be out a month. Then before Sunday’s game, all-world back, Melvin Gordon was declared out with a hamstring injury. This is a huge loss, as he has been averaged 345 points per game and hamstrings can be a lingering problem. Yet, the horror show wasn’t over. During Sunday’s game against the Bears, Sony Michel had what looked like a brutal knee injury, made worse by the fact he fumbled as he suffered said injury.

Short-term, this is all bad news. Hopefully for Jeff tough, this will only be a short term problem. Hamstring injuries can be annoying as fuck, just ask owners of Leo Fournette. As for Michel, this is the Patriots, so we really won’t have any real sense of the amount of time he’ll be out, but at least we learned there is no structural damage in the knee, so he’ll probably miss 2-3 weeks max.

#7 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT With the win, yours truly ends a three-game slide against Calderon. More importantly, my squad has come through with back-to-back 1,500-point games. If I still had Mahomes, I’d consider myself a top-five team. But I don’t and that’s that. For me, I need to decide, do I pick a roster and stick with it or do I continue to roll with a bad combination of matchups and whatever my gut tells me? My gut says, pick a starting lineup and stick with it, but man, my gut has been wrong so often lately.

Anyhow, right now, I would pay a lot of money to have Delvin Cook just end his season. Weird thing to say about a second-round pick I traded for, but while he’s been out the previous two weeks, Latavius Murray has dominated, scoring a combined 662 points. Cook has just 380 points combined in the three games he’s started. The worst thing for me, is Cook comes back and this becomes a true timeshare.

#8 KAMARA SUTRA Don is reaching desperation hour. You know, because yesterday he actually posted something and even considered adding a player (other than a kicker). Of course, what if the goods are already on his roster? With Sony Michel’s injury, James White seems prepared to take the lead role, at least for a bit. Sure there’s Barner, but White led all rushers with 11 carries and also led the team in receptions against the Bears. He finished with 314 fantasy points (thanks to two scores).

Will Don be willing to pull the trigger and bench the second overall pick? A five-game losing says…maybe.

#9 BELL’S PALSY Of course, yet again, Neatock guessed wrong on his quarterback, but this time it only cost him 20 points. If he would have made a better decision, he would have only lost by 478 points to Masterson. I guess it could be worse. At least his beloved Eagles didn’t blow a 17-0 lead in the fourth quarter, giving up 240 yards to Cam Newton and the Panthers in the final 15. That would suck.

With the trade deadline about a week away, Matt’s dream of Bell getting traded, giving himself a Bell/Conner backfield, appears to be nearing its end. I’m hearing no rumors that any team is interested in giving up picks for a nine-week rental. Too bad, that would have been a game changer for Matt. Instead, this week he had to roll out with Frank Gore, who got 11 touches for just 33 yards.

#10 JUST SERVIN IT Let me throw a sentence your way and I’m willing to bet my lottery winnings tonight that no one would have ever envisioned I would write it. It is, “Eric couldn’t have won without Mitchell Trubisky and Kerryon Johnson.”

Yet, it’s the most truest statement I’ve said in these Tuesday Thoughts. Eric’s NFC North duo combined for a stunning 842 points this week, while everyone else on this squad combined for just 547 points. Eric had five different players fail to reach 100.

Trubisky turned into a nice bye-week replacement and I don’t want to overreach, but could he be the better quarterback on this team with Aaron Rodgers? Since hitting just 72 fantasy points in week three, Trubisky has been the best quarterback in fantasy. Yep, even outscoring Mahomes. He has 1,610 points against Tampa, Miami and New England, never dipping below 430 points. What helps are his legs. In his first three games, he was a serviceable runner, rushing for 60 yards. However, in his last three, he has 181 yards rushing and a TD (422 fantasy points).

#11 A+ EFFORT Somehow, Burrier just keeps finding ways to win, despite the fact, it seems like he loses two players to injury per week. Ajayi is out for the year. Fournette has been gone nearly the whole season, Cobb has been useless, while Kupp went down last week. This week he failed to replace Gronkowski, who was declared out and now Sanders is questionable for next week’s game. How the hell has Rich won four games?

While Burrier has been the lowest scoring team in the league, his opponents have also failed to show up, averaging 1,269 points per game (the league low). In the history of our league, while four teams that won the scoring crown also had their opponents score the least amount (Matt in 2009, Robio in 2013, Bob in 2014 & 2015), never has the lowest scoring team had their opponents also score the lowest amount. The closest we’ve come was Masterson back in 2005 and David in 2008. They both finished last in scoring, while their opponents finished second-to-last.

#12 SPACE FORCE Griff lost a game this week, which as I pointed out on Monday, has become quite a common result through his first seven weeks of a season. Yet, Griff has only missed the playoffs once, so he clearly knows how to turn this shit around. That’s why we saw his trade with Bob this week.

Coomer went with the classic 2-for-1 route, giving up a All-Robio candidate in Michael Thomas for what he deems a couple of starters. Tyler Boyd has produced like a low-end WR1 so far this season and even when you count this week’s poor results by the Bengals wideout, he’s scored only 142 points less than Thomas on the season.

Of course, this trade was always about the running back and with the addition of Chris Carson, the Seahawks back becomes Griff’s top runner. Of course, that’s not saying much. Take away those two fantastic games where he scored a total of 562 points in weeks five and six, he has just 294 in his three other contests.

In the end, I’ll have to conclude that Bob will be the winner of this deal. Fact is, I think Griff could have traded Thomas for better pieces than Carson/Boyd. I don’t even recall him really shopping? My guess is that this was a Bob offer. The issue with both Boyd and Carson is Griff bought high, as both players are at their ceiling right now. Even worse, by getting rid of Thomas, if things don’t turn around, Griff probably sold off the one piece that will land him a stud keeper if he was looking to dump later in the year.

LOOKING AHEAD…

ROBIO v GRIFF The longest rivalry in Robioland will continue next week, as Griff and I will face off for the 28th time. While this matchup isn’t as glamorous as past contests, we’re still two guys who have combined to appear in 15 title games, winning it all four times. We have combined for 318 wins in this league. Of course, I’m looking for my third straight win and would enjoy nothing more than putting one of the final nails in Griff’s 2018 coffin. It will certainly help that Griff will be without Keenan Allen. Anyhow, I’ve won two straight over Coomer, after a three-game slide and I lead the series, 16-11.

DON v MASTERSON Two teams going in complete opposite directions. Don has dropped five straight after winning his first two and Rob has won four of five since losing his first two. Currently, Rob leads the series, 10-8, having won six of the last eight meetings. Both teams will be at full strength, so advantage Masterson.

JEFF vs MATT Neatock is desperate for a break and got one, as he gets to face a suddenly unhealthy Jeff squad. At least for Jeff, if Gordon misses more time, he’ll be prepared to put Ekeler in, facing a so-so Seahawks run D. For Matt, facing Jeff hasn’t been much of a chore over the years. In fact, he has beaten him in 10 of their 13 meetings, including twice last year.

BURRIER v BOB Yep, this is the only game that features two winning teams. Burrier catches a tiny break, as Bob will be without his best weapon (Elliot is on a bye), but can Rich even field a team? He could be done five starters if Sanders is out and Gronk misses a second game. Anyhow, Rich has dropped four of his last five against Bob, who leads the series 14-7.

ERIC v RICH C Vozzola has erased his 1-3 start with a three-game winning streak, while Calderon, the league’s highest scoring team, struggles to get above .500. For Calderon, he’s good to go, only have to replace Matt Ryan with Andrew Luck (with a healthy T.Y. Hilton). For Eric, he will need to replace his three missing Falcons. In their career series, Rich leads it 11-8, having taken three of the last four, dating back to 2016, since these two have traded wins the past two years in the quarterfinals.

MARC v COLBY This one would be the game of the week, if he had such a thing. We got the second and third highest scoring teams in the league facing off and if the playoffs started today, these two would be facing off in the quarterfinals. Pattini has scored over 3,500 points in his last two and he has all his starts back for this week eight matchup. Colby has Mahomes and that’s probably all that matters, but he will need to replace Coleman this week.

WEEK EIGHT

ROBIO (L) GRIFF (W) 976.0 – 1540.0 DON (L) ROB M (W) 1290.0 – 1815.0 JEFF (L) MATT (W) 1266.0 – 1607.0 RICH B (L) BOB (W) 932.0 – 1462.0 COLBY(L) MARC (W) 1441.0 – 1511.0 ERIC (L) RICH C (W) 1735.0 – 1749.0

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Week eight and still so many unanswered questions? Did Masterson finally figure this thing out? Can I ever stop scoring below 1,000? Did Griff trade his way into a playoff contender?

Meanwhile, both Calderon and Don are chasing records. The former is chasing a record you want to be chasing. Don…not so much. And, did you realize that Marc Pattini could secure the season’s first playoff spot if things go his way in week nine, but if he played Don’s schedule, he’d be 1-7?

Anyhow, on to the rankings…

#1 THE DICK-TATERS Calderon walked into the week with the baddest three-headed monster at receiver, but it was Joe Mixon who delivered like a beast. Again, getting nearly all the touches out of the Bengals’ backfield, he had 138 yards and a two scores. His 396 fantasy points was a seas high.

Now I don’t want to get too far ahead of ourselves, especially when we’re talking about a 4-4 team, but what do we do with Calderon if he rolls through this league and wins the championship? Could I dare move him to number one in career rankings? We all know what Bob has done. He’s won four titles, finished as the top seed in three of the last four seasons and hasn’t missed the playoffs since the Bush administration.

Yet, if Calderon wins it all this year, that would mean he’s won the championship in three of the last six seasons. Top seeds are nice, but titles are my turn ons.

#2 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK In the 6th round of this year’s draft, Rob took Marlon Mack. The man who couldn’t overcome 45-year-old Frank Gore last year, was at best, a long shot. The Colts offensive line was suspect on a good day. The team spent two draft picks on running backs and both would have an opportunity to take the starting spot, as Mack was hurt.

Through five weeks, the Colts back played in just two games and had just 10 carries for 34 yards. Yet Rob, who began the year 0-2, never cut him. He held onto him and it’s looking like a brilliant decision. Mack has scored back-to-back 400-point games. The only other two backs to do that this season is Todd Gurley and Kareem Hunt (Rob also has the latter).

#3 ALTERED BOYZ Sometimes to win a bunch of games you need to catch a break (read David the Patriot below), but this game was all about MVP candidate vs MVP candidate and Pattini’s MVP candidate won this matchup.

For Colby, Mahomes was great again (392), but Todd Gurley might have just taken the lead in the MVP vote with 195 total yards and his 15th touchdown on the season. In his last four, the Rams back has broken 400 in three of those games. MVP! MVP! MVP!

#4 DAVID THE PATRIOT With Patrick Mahomes putting up 400+ per game, it’s tough to see how Colby misses the playoffs, but if he comes up one game short, he knows who to blame. In the ultimate last minute regret, Mr. Hall made a very last minute decision to pull out Marvin Jones for Taylor Gabriel. Well, the latter hit just 104 fantasy points, while Jones went for 117 yards, two scores and 354 fantasy points. That decision cost him 250 fantasy points in a game he lost by 70.

#5 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART No Elliot, no problem…as Bob just does what Bob does. He has now won 20 of his 23 games in this league and over the last four plus seasons, Castrone is a stunning 53-15 (.779 winning percentage). So yeah, maybe I got ahead of myself with that whole Calderon being first in career rankings.

This week, Bob received some good news, when we learned that Powell would be out for the year in New York. This means Isaiah Crowell is the undisputed lead back. Of course, this is the Jets. Against Chicago this week, he had just 12 carries for 25 yards, plus one catch for 13 yards.

#6 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL With no Gordon, no Michel and no tight end capable of scoring a single point, Jeff really had no shot in this one. With four wins and a decent amount of points scored, Greenblatt has plenty of room to breathe and can probably just calmly wait for both his star backs to be back (from bye and injury). However, should he be concerned about quarterback?

It’s been a month since Matt Stafford has hit the 300-point mark in a game. He’s ranked just the 17th best quarterback in fantasy. That’s giving up a lot of points to everyone else in the league.

#7 BELL’S PALSY Let’s be honest, Le’Veon Bell fucked up. I’m all for players trying to get what they deserve. Careers are short, especially for running backs, so go get paid. Yet, Bell’s holdout may be the worst I’ve ever seen. All James Conner has done is proven…anyone can do this.

This week, Cooner had 212 yards and two touchdowns, leading all running backs with 544 fantasy points (a career high). Of course, it proved to be one hell of a week for backs. Eight running backs scored over 300 fantasy points (half of them broke 400).

Fun fact: The trade deadline in the NFL is Tuesday. If Bell is not traded then, Matt might be toast, as he will return to Pittsburgh by week 11, turning the Steelers backfield into a awful timeshare.

#8 JUST SERVIN IT A brutal defeat by Eric, who knows a thing or two about tough defeats. Remember, he’s the record holder for most points scored in a defeat in a title game (1,871). This week, his 1,735 points scored in a loss is the 8th most points scored in a loss.

Of course, this one was tough because it was a 14-point defeat and obviously, Gostkowski shoulders some of the blame. He missed a 50-yard field goal to end the first half. That miss (-30) is the difference between winning and losing this week.

#9 KAMARA SUTRA Don has now dropped six straight games and we’re all left wondering, how the hell did this happen to the preseason favorite? There is some blame to go around. Obviously, David Johnson has not lived up to the second overall pick. Russell Wilson has always been a slow starter, Kyle Rudolph is not a great tight end and T.Y. Hilton is starting to smell like a bust. Yet, let’s just blame Don’s opponents and their record setting ways.

The record for most points given up in a season is 19,433 points by Rich Burrier, back in 2013. That’s 1495 points per game. That’s high. However, Don is blowing that record away. Don’s opponents are on pace to score 21,279 points per game. That’s an average of 1,637 points per game. No one could win with that kind of scoring going against them every week. Look, I have proof. Below is what everyone’s record would be if they played Don’s schedule. No winning records. Only Neatock would be at .500. Overall record, 27-61.

RECORD IF YOU PLAYED DON’S SCHEDULE: Matt: 4-4 Bob: 3-5 Colby: 3-5 Robio: 3-5 Rob M: 3-5 Eric: 3-5 Rich C: 3-5 Jeff: 2-6 Marc: 1-7 Griff: 1-7 Rich B: 1-7

#8 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT Fuck it, you try to figure out this team. After scoring nearly 4,000 points the previous two weeks, my squad couldn’t even reach 1,000, despite missing no one on a bye-week. This week, my shit receiving core returned, as my two wideouts and tight end combined for just 316 fantasy points.

Five wide receivers hit 300 all by themselves this week. Of course, decisions play their part. We all know about all the points I’ve lost by not keeping Mahomes, but also this week, I cut Cook to keep Burton at TE and that cost me 172 points. I also recently cut the Texans D for the Ravens and that cost me another 98 digits. With my four best players all going on bye weeks over the next two weeks, my season could soon be over.

#11 SPACE FORCE Here is anonymous quote from a league member, soon after Griff traded away Michael Thomas for Carson and Boyd. He said, “That’s just a classically bad fantasy trade. Especially in this league where you have to have studs to win.”

At least for one week, this quote isn’t accurate. In his first game with both Carson and Boyd in his lineup, the pair both scored over 300, combining for 640 fantasy points (260 combined yards and two scores). Of course, not giving a shit about star power also worked when it came to lineup decisions. Grff sat Drew Brees (vs Vikings) to play The Red Rocket against the league’s worst pass defense. Dalton delivered with 306 fantasy points.

#12 A+ EFFORT It remains a miracle that Burrier remains a playoff team. Despite this week’s defeat and weekly low score, the league’s lowest scoring team remains a 7-seed. Of course, he can’t keep this up, unless he makes a lineup change, right?

Fournette isn’t due back until week ten (and who knows what kind of shape he’ll be in). Does Rich really just wait for him to get well and hope he makes the playoffs? With his total points, he ain’t winning any tiebreakers if any of these 3-5 teams pick up some victories.

LOOKING AHEAD…

ROBIO v BOBIO At 3-5, I’m desperate for a win to keep my playoff hopes alive, but the next two weeks, I’m going to need some miracles. Next week, I’m without my twin Vikings and my starting D. This week, I’m down my best player (Barkley) and my only capable receiver (Jeffery). Without these guys, I must overcome a Bob team at full strength, with a rested Ezekiel Elliot. My only hope is the fact that a lot of Bob’s starters will be on the road, which always helps. Of course, beating me has not been a problem. Castrone leads our career series, 16-8 and hasn’t lost to me since 2013.

LIL’ E v BIG R Arguable the two hottest teams will face off in this matchup. Masterson has won five of his last six. He averaged 1,830 points per game in his last three and has earned the weekly high score in back-to-back games. That’s the first time he’s done that in his career. Sure, he’ll be without the 400-point wonder that has been Marlon Mack, but something tells me he’ll survive with Christian McCaffrey facing the worst defense in football (Bucs).

On the flip side, Eric has won three of four and that only defeat was this week when he scored the third highest point total for the week. Of course, Eric’s four wins might have less to do with his skills and more to do with his opponents not showing up. In fact, in his four wins this year, the opponent scored just 1,160 points per contest. This week, Eric is at full strength and gets Julio back, but would it kill the dude to score a touchdown? Eric is going to need one to beat Masterson, who leads their all-time series, 11-9.

CALDERON v COOMER This game just screams mismatch, as Rich is the league’s high scoring team (averaging 1,536 points per game, which would tie Molly for third most points score in the regular season) vs Griff, who is 11th in scoring (averaging 1,302 points per contest). This week, Matt Ryan comes back into the starting lineup for Calderon, which is typically fine, but he’ll be on the road against a tough Washington D. Also, Mixon sits and I’ll assume we’ll finally get a taste of Nick Chubb.

Unfortunately, we won’t get the full experience of the new-and-improved Coomer squad. Both Andy Dalton and Tyler Boyd get the week off. Of course, subbing in Drew Bees and Keenan Allen might ease his pain. Overall, Calderon leads the series 11-9, having won five of their last six meetings.

MATTY v MARC Coming off the most important win of his season, the defending champ has an opportunity to make a statement and legit stake a claim in the postseason. This week, he faces 7-1 Pattini, who will be down just a tight end. A win this week would give Neatock a two-game winning streak, which could easily be a four-game winning streak, since his next two are against two of the three worst scoring teams in the league. Of course, he’ll have to do it without two important pieces in A.J. Green and Zach Ertz.

For Marc, his team has been playing great all year long. Except for his one hiccup against Burrier in week four, he’s scored over 1,300 in seven of his eight games and hit 1,500 in three of his last four. With a win this week, coupled with loses by two of the three 3-5 teams (Colby, Robio, Griff), Matt will officially clinch a playoff spot (one of the fast clinches in league history).

COLBY v BURRIER Mr. Hall has been sitting below .500 and at the 8-seed for what seems like forever. The problem is, he can’t beat the good teams. He has zero wins against a team with a winning record and he’s just 1-4 against teams that are 4-4 or better. Yet, no one has a easier road down the stretch than Colby. In his final five games, here are the scoring rankings of his final five foes: #12, #10, #6, #7 and #11. He won’t face a top-five scoring team the remainder of the regular season. He has a winning record in breakdown against all those teams (except Bob).

Oddly enough, Burrier’s schedule is also favorable if the standings are what matters to you. In his final five, Rich doesn’t have a team with a winning record on it. Of course, the league only has three winning teams right now. My gut says this is the week Burrier finally falls from the playoffs.

DON v JEFF It’s the battle of sinking ships… Actually, that’s a little unfair to Jeff. He’s not sinking; just taking on water. Greenblatt has dropped three straight and needs to find a win and he’ll need to find it probably without Michel again. He does get Gordon back (assuming he’s healthy), but hell need to find a TE and Beckham is out.

For Don, the playoffs are still an option, despite the six-game losing streak. In fact, two teams have lost six in a row in a season and still made it to the show. However, two more loses and he’s probably toast and this week won’t be easy, as Vozzola is down David Johnson, T.Y. Hilton and the Eagles D.

WEEK NINE

BOB (W) ROBIO (L) 1402.0 – 1008.0 ERIC (L) ROB M (W) 1418.0 – 1998.0 RICH C (L) GRIFF (W) 1590.0 – 1598.0 MATT (W) MARC (L) 1670.0 – 1044.0 COLBY(W) RICH B (L) 1737.0 – 1074.0 DON (W) JEFF (L) 1580.0 – 858.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Is it finally the year of the Masterson? Nine weeks in and there is no one hotter than the Jersey version of Rob. He’s won six of seven, produced three straight weekly high scores (first time in 11 years that’s happened).

Let’s not forget, Rob has been in this Robioland game since 2002, yet he has never earned a top seed (currently one game back), never brought home a scoring crown (first in scoring as we speak) and not only has he not won a championship, he’s never even been to the title game.

For now, he’s the new #1 in my rankings. We’ve seen four different teams hold the top spot now, which might be a record for one season. They are:

Week 1: Don Week 2: Don Week 3: Don Week 4: Bob Week 5: Bob Week 6: Rich C Week 7: Rich C Week 8: Rich C Week 9: Rob M

#1 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK Even with Marlon Mack taking a week off, Rob’s squad lived up to its name. The Two-Head Rushin’ Attack this week combined for 896 points, as both his backs broke the 400-point barrier. This is the fifth time since week six, a running back on this team has scored over 400 and McCaffrey is the third back to do it.

If Rob rolls with McCaffrey as a starter the rest of the season and into the playoffs, he’s going to need to pull off the rare to win the title. Only three times in league history has a team won a championship starting a quarterback and a running back on the same NFL team. The last person to do it was Griff, way back in 2005. He started both Trent Green and Larry Johnson that year. Before him, Aaron Brooks and Ricky Williams led a former league member to a 2001 title.

Of course, with so much talent at the running back spot, he could still be looking to upgrade at the wide receiver spot. Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

#2 THE DICK-TATERS Last week, Calderon managed to hold off Eric, because Vozzola’s kicker missed a 50-yard field goal at the end of the first half. He makes that and Rich loses.

This week, Rich got plenty of great performances, including 422 from Matt Ryan on the road against a top-five defense. He also managed to get four performances of over 240 fantasy points. Yet, he lost this week.

Sure, we can blame the Redskins, who got crushed by the Falcons, deliver -30 points. However, let’s blame the Broncos head coach who Jason Garrett his way into a loss.

At the end of the half, the Broncos tried a silly 62-yard field goal late in the second quarter. Now if this is the last play of the half, I’m all for it. Kick away. But with 18 seconds left, if McManus missed, the Texans get the ball in Denver territory with 18 seconds left, with timeouts. Well, McManus missed it and Houston was able to turn around and kick a field goal to end the half.

Late, trailing 19-17, the Broncos are driving and managed to get the ball to the 31-yard line with 40 seconds to go and a timeout. What does Denver do? Throw a couple of more passes and turn the game winning field goal into a chip shot? Nope. They run 30 seconds off the clock standing around, run a dive into the line for the loss of one yard and then watch their kicker miss a 51-yard field goal. The Broncos lost by two. Calderon lost by nine. Thanks, Vance Joseph.

#3 DAVID THE PATRIOT This week, Colby got huge digits from three players. Mahomes continued to dominate (375 yards, three touchdowns) with his 416 points. Over the last month, when defensive coordinators should be figuring things out, he’s produced 440 fantasy points per game.

Meanwhile, Colby’s other Chief, Travis Kelce, showed why he’s the top tight end in football. He finished with 99 yards and two scores, delivering a second 300-point game this season (318 on the day). Currently, he’s averaging 204 points per game. The only tight ends in league history to average 200+ per game for a season are Rob Gronkowski and Jimmy Graham.

Of course, if Colby really wants to be taken seriously as a title contender, look no further than the Falcons backfield. With Freeman out of the picture, everything has lined up perfectly for Tevin Coleman. Yet, prior to this week, he has maxed out at 250, breaking 200 fantasy points just twice. This week, he had his second best running day (88 yards) and his best receiving day (68 and two scores), giving Colby 432 fantasy points.

Even with Mahomes, it will be hard to win it all without a elite back. Perhaps this game is what puts Coleman into that discussion.

#4 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART Perhaps I should give more love for Bob’s squad. I mean, six wins are impressive in a season like this. Yet, I can’t overlook the fact that his team is still middle of the pack in scoring.

Perhaps he’s lost a step. Keeping the Saints defense in your starting lineup against the Rams is such a Neatock move. At least Michael Thomas worked out well this week (with his 211 yards, two scores and one flip phone).

Still, it’s all about that second running back spot. It would be one thing if DeShaun was delivering his 400+ games, but he’s failed to hit 300 in three of his last four. Thus, Bob is stuck hoping players like Doug Martin or Isaiah Crowell suddenly becomes relevant. That might be hoping for too much.

#5 ALTERED BOYZ It’s as if, when Todd Gurley looks almost human, Marc’s team is a lot less threatening. On a day when the Rams running back was held to just 79 total yards (he did score another touchdown), the only other player that stepped up was Big Ben with his 358 points.

Tarik Cohen, who has been pretty damn good lately, averaging 297 points per game over the last month, was held to just 13 yards and 26 fantasy points. Of course, it didn’t help that Marc’s two Sunday pickups (Dickson and the kicker Hopkins) combined for 20 points. $20 of auction money for 20 fantasy points. Money well spent.

Reminder: On Tuesday, Marc has to cut both Hopkins and Dickson out-right.

#8 KAMARA SUTRA Don’s running backs stepped up and probably saved his season. Alvin Kamara and James White (filling in for David Johnson) combined for 783 points, producing 219 yards and four touchdowns. Obviously with Sony Michel out, White is a must-start, although he loses some value once the rookie returns.

Speaking of value, it appears the Saints remembered how valuable Kamara is when he gets his touches. He had 19 rushes to Ingram’s nine, making him the lead back for the first time in a month.

Of course, it helped this week that Don’s opponent’s didn’t put up another 1,600-point game. Jeff managed just 858, which dropped Don’s opponents’ points per game average down 87 points to 1,550 PPG.

#7 BELL’S PALSY This week, Matt finally made the right decision at quarterback, as Jeff Goff delivered 464 points, while Carson Wentz had just zero. Of course, that decision was made easy by the Eagles being on a bye-week.

This week, Neatock got three monster performances from Goff, Cooner and the Vikings DST. Cooner, who continues to shine without Bell (at least for one more week), had another 386 fantasy points, while the Vikings destroyed the Lions with ten sacks and one defensive touchdowns (306 fantasy points). Those three players alone defeated Matt’s opponent.

Of course, the news wasn’t all shits and giggles. Word on the street is A.J. Green will miss multiple games with a toe injury. For a guy, struggling to fill the flex position, this is not welcomed news. Barring some changes to his roster, Matt has to now start both Landry and Thomas (neither is a WR1) and still start either Gore-Smallwood-Barber-Williams.

#8 JUST SERVIN IT First, a congratulations to Julio Jones, who scored his first touchdown of the season. His lack of scores has to be one of the stats of the year, as he’s on pace for 182 targets, 120 catches and 1,866 yards…but he has just one touchdown so far.

Obviously, I can’t list Eric as a championship-caliber squad, simply because his running backs are too inconsistent. Yet, if Aaron Rodgers was an elite fantasy arm, I might be able to overlook it. He’s not though. Probably because he’s still not 100% healthy, Rodgers is not owning the passing game like he has in the past. He’s failed to hit 300 fantasy points in either of Eric’s last two losses and he’s done that just three times in nine games. Currently, he’s ranked just 10th among all quarterbacks in fantasy.

#9 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL In the end, I don’t want to trash the Trails too much. Jeff was without both Beckham (bye) and Michel (injury). The most important of the two has to be Michel. Since the rookie went down with an injury, Jeff has failed to earn a win.

Of course, let’s not forget about Jeff’s quarterback issues, which I went over last week. To be elite, you need a solid arm and Matt Stafford is not that arm. Against the Vikings, the Lions head coach, Matt Patricia, had to be unhappy with his quarterback’s posture, as he was sacked 10 times. He finished with no touchdowns, one fumble and just 14 fantasy points. Currently, he’s been outscored by Blake Bortles and that’s with Stafford not even taking a bye-week yet.

#10 SPACE FORCE This season, even when he wins, he finds a way to lose. Already down Devonta Freeman, with Royce Freeman also missing due to injury, this week alone, Griff lost both Raheem Mostert (for the year) and Chris Carson (for the foreseeable future). It’s never a good thing when Devontae Booker is your best option at running back.

Too bad he can’t go four wide, as Keenan Allen finally had his breakout game. For just the third time this season, he had double-digit targets. For just the second time, he had over 100 yards (124). Next, he just needs to find the end zone. He hasn’t done that since week one.

#11 A+ EFFORT Cooper Kupp returned and gave Rich his best performance of the week with 238 fantasy points. Speaking of returning, Leo Fournette is back at practice this week and barring any setbacks, he could be back in Rich’s startling lineup.

Looking ahead to Burrier’s schedule, he faces no winning teams and no one ranked higher than the 6-seed. Perhaps he should invest in a backup tight end moving forward.

#12 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT Hey look, it’s Robio Murray making poor decisions. With Delvin Cook back, I was worried about a pitch-count. The last time he came back from injury, he fucked me by playing just a half of a football game. Well, I got fucked again as he outscored Murray by 64 points this week.

Meanwhile, Kirk Cousins was a fucking dud with 104 fantasy points, while on my bench, Fitzpatrick hit 358 points. Oh, I’m not done. I picked Goodwin over Baldwin. That was another 128 fantasy points. In total, my three bad lineup decisions cost me 446 points.

Oddly enough, even if I had Mahomes, I would still be 3-6. Explain that?

In the end, this ride might be over soon. At 3-6, 11th in scoring, I have little room for error. Yet, in my final month, I have arguably the toughest schedule with two of the top three scoring teams, plus the current top seed and the suddenly hot defending champ mixed in there as well.

LOOKING AHEAD…

ROB v MARC Depending on what Bob does, this could be a official battle for first place. Masterson is one game back of Pattini for first, but Rob leads him in total points.

ROBIO v MAHOMES Is it asking too much for the Chiefs to move their bye-week to week ten? After this defeat, let the fire-sale begin.

GRIFF v DON Two teams who were recently in the basement. Two teams who are coming off must-needed wins. The winner will probably be a playoff team when it’s over, while the loser will not be.

BURRIER v MATT If Fournette and Gronk don’t come back next week, Rich will be without them and both Lindsay and Sanders. If Matt lost this one, he should be banned from the postseason.

CALDERON v BOB Castrone is 3-1 against teams that have scored more points than him this season. On the flip side, Calderon has three loses against teams that are currently not listed among the playoff teams (Don, Jeff, Robio).

JEFF v ERIC It’s a four-game losing streak vs a two-game losing streak. The game means more for Jeff, who has fallen from the ranks of the postseason partiers. Like Griff vs Don above, the winner could wake up next Tuesday as a playoff team, while the loser might be outside looking in.

WEEK TEN

ROBIO (L) COLBY(W)1569.0 – 1642.0 ROB M (L) MARC (W) 1463.0 – 1972.0 GRIFF (L) DON (W) 1267.0 – 1578.0 RICH B (W) MATT (L) 1419.0 – 1381.0 RICH C (L) BOB (W) 1687.0 – 1764.0 JEFF (L) ERIC (W) 1125.0 – 1375.0

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Ten weeks of fantasy football has taught me one thing…I suck at fantasy football. Make that two things…over half this league can win this title. Over the last half-dozen years, we’ve seen the development of super squads. Teams that enter the playoffs and we all know they’re going to win it all. Neatock last year, Calderon before him. Griff was dominating down the stretch in 2015, while no one was beating Bob in 2014.

Yet, this year, I count seven teams capable of winning three in a row in the postseason. The rest of us, are just riding out the season. How did we get here? Perhaps it was just a balanced draft. Or maybe it has to do with the record setting scoring we are seeing in the NFL this year.

For us, the most points this league has combined for in one regular season is 209,130 points back in 2011. This year, we are on pace to beat that mark by 11,930 points. Three teams are on pace to average 1,500 points per game, while a fourth is nearly pulling off the feat. Only eight teams in league history have average 1,500 points per game. The record for most 1,500-point games in a season is 54. We have 48 so far this season (nearly five per week) in just ten weeks, with 25 contests remaining to break the record.

#1 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK First, let me apologize. Clearly it is my fault Masterson lost for putting him first in my rankings. My number one ranked team is just 6-4 this season when ranked in the top spot.

Despite the loss that will probably prevent Masterson from earning his first ever top seed, his team performed well. Three of his four RB/WRs broke the 100-yard mark and Hunt came up just four yards short. On the season, Rob’s squad leads the league in rushing/receiving yards with 4,632 on the year.

#2 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART What is it about Bob that gives him the ability to convince others that his average-at-best wide receiver he picked up from the wire is what will make their team better? It’s a gift I don’t have. Perhaps Bob doesn’t have that little voice in his head that says, “there’s no way (insert name) will accept this trade.”

Thanks to a couple of trades, Bob has quickly turned his trio of receivers into one of the best and may now match Calderon’s amazing trio of Hopkins, Thielen and Cooks. He’s basically swapped out Boyd, Kirk, Rivers and Carson for Michael Thomas and Odell Beckham. He’s gotten better at flex and WR2 and all he gave up was a backup QB and a backup wideout.

And already the trade is making a difference. If Bob didn’t do this trade, he would have lost to Calderon this weekend, thanks to Beckham’s solid 266 points.

#3 THE DICK-TATERS Despite averaging over 1,556 points per game, which would be the second most points ever scored in the regular season, Calderon has just four wins on the season. He’s currently the 7-seed, tied with five others at 4-6. While the odds are still good that he’ll make the playoffs, this is no lock. Fact is, Rich’s next two will be against Masterson (the top team in my rankings) and Don, who has suddenly gotten his groove back. He ends it with Jeff. No matter what his score is, he might need to win two of those three to secure a playoff spot.

Of course this week, he caught another bad break, as two of his stars (Hopkins, Thielen) were on byes, although both Golladay (216) and Cooks (278) had fine games.

Yet, once again, it was another poor defensive decision and place kicker that cost Rich another win. This week, he benched the Redskins for the Patriots. The latter got owned by the Titans and cost Calderon 122 points; enough to overcome Bob. Also, his kicker (this week Vinatieri) failed to deliver. The Colts kicker had one shot at a 50-yard field goal and missed. That’s a 100-point swing; enough to beat Bob.

Rich needs to figure these spots out. How bad has the kicking been for him in 2018? His kickers have missed a combined 11 field goals and extra points. That’s a league high.

#4 ALTERED BOYZ Five days to fill in bye weeks, three to get rid of a illegal lineup and started a injured player this week. Start caring about your team, I’ll start caring about giving you a write up.

#5 DAVID THE PATRIOT In a week where Colby saw below average performances from his superstars (Mahomes: 278, Kelce: 92), Matt Breida dominated Monday night. He hit 384 against the Giants, thanks to two scores.

This was only the second time he’s hit 300 this year (the last was week two). It feels like the 49ers go out of their way to not let him be a feature back, but thanks to injuries, they may not have a choice anymore.

#6 KAMARA SUTRA Finally. It took ten weeks, but David Johnson looked like a second overall pick. It certainly helped that he was facing the worst fantasy defense against the rush. In total, 85 of his 183 yards came via the air, as did one of his two touchdowns. He finished with a season high 486 points.

Of course, don’t overlook the value Don got in his trades from last season and this offseason. Kamara (via Bob) and Hill (via Robio) dominated this week, each scoring over 300 for a total of 718 combined points.

#7 BELL’S PALSY With his sixth defeat of the season, Matt fell to the 8th seed, seventh in scoring, just four points ahead of a suddenly hot Don. With no A.J. Green and still starting Frank Gore, Neatock this week decided to sacrifice a prized keeper and swing for the fences to defend his title.

In a record setting 10-player trade with me, Matt completely shook up his lineup for a playoff run. He gets a all-new backfield with Saquon Barkley and Delvin Cook. With Barkley, he’s getting the sixth best running back in football, so this comes down to Cook. The Vikings tail back is coming off a bye, one week after returning from injury and scoring 218 points. Cook needs to be the back that I always thought he could be.

Matt also received Alshon Jeffery, who after a hot start has cooled, but the Eagles have a favorable schedule down the stretch and perhaps he can help relieve the pain of losing Green until December.

#8 A+ EFFORT Welcome back, Leo Fournette. After missing six of the last seven weeks, the Jaguars back returned like a boss, scoring 338 fantasy points. Best yet, he did it in a win, giving Burrier, the lowest scoring team, a 5-5 record.

Does this mean I can include Rich among one of the title contenders? No, not yet, as injuries continue to shred this squad apart. Gronkowski has played just once this month and Cooper Kubb is done, out with a ACL injury. Next week, he does get Lindsay and Sanders back into his starting lineup. Best yet, he might have the easiest schedule down the stretch, facing teams that are ranked 6th, 8th and 11th in scoring.

#9 JUST SERVIN IT I keep saying that Trubisky is better than Aaron Rodgers, but Eric refuses to believe. This week, the Bears quarterback scored 522 to Rodgers 268. Trubisky is averaging 434 points per game in his last six. Rodgers has scored 434 just once this season.

Of course, why not trade the Bears quarterback and improve that RB2 spot? While Jordan Howard has had his moments, he remains a liability at the flex spot (just 64 points this week). If Eric wants to have any shot at winning this title, he needs to fix that hole.

#10 SPACE FORCE After 19 seasons, this league could finally come full circle. Nineteen years after Griff and I finished first and second, we could potentially finish last and second-to-last this season, although Jeff will probably get in the way.

Mike Davis was a decent fill in for Carson, but the rushing attack continues to be a major problem. On the season, Griff’s backs are last in yards (just 920 on the season) and his eight rushing touchdowns are only better than two other teams.

#11 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL Sometimes for me, trades come down to simple math. Does a trade make my team score more than it has before? Looking at this trade Jeff pulled off with Bob…the answer is, no.

Sure, Philip Rivers has been a better quarterback this season than Matt Stafford. Based on stats, he’s scored 70 more points per game than the Lions QB. However, to get Rivers, Jeff had to give up Beckham for Kirk. The Cardinals receiver has been fine this season, considering how bad Arizona’s offense has been, but on average, he scores 70 points per game less than Beckham. So what did Jeff get out of this?

#12 SIR-LOSE-A-LOT After another heartbreaking defeat, I drop to 3-7 on the season. I’m 10th in scoring and have a brutal final three games. After facing Matt this week, I end with (8-2) Marc and (6-4) Masterson. While I’m not officially throwing in the towel, I’m reading the writing on the wall and aiming for next season.

James Conner is currently the second best back in football and he can be kept in round 13. Add in Aaron Jones in the 8th round, plus the prospect of having the top overall pick (Elliot?) and I have something to build upon in 2019.

WEEK ELEVEN

MATT (W) ROBIO (L) 1302.0 – 876.0 JEFF (W) RICH B (L) 1734.0 – 1276.0 RICH C (L) ROB M (W) 1221.0 – 1461.0 GRIFF (L) ERIC (W)1484.0 – 1557.0 COLBY(W) BOB (L) 1911.0 – 1759.0 DON (W) MARC (L)2019.0 – 1253.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Last night, we watched an epic offensive battle between two of the most fun teams to watch in football. The Rams and Chiefs combined for over 1,000 yards and 100 points. It was the first time in NFL history that two teams each broke 50 in a game. In that game, the two teams combined for 13 touchdowns. The Buffalo Bills have 13 touchdowns on the season. Of course, they’re not the only ones.

On Sunday, the Saints scored over 40 for the sixth time this season, all while I’m forced to sweat out a Cowboys win that featured just 22 hard-fought points, with a quarterback who appears to be allergic to tossing a ball more than 15 yards. I guess it could be worse. Oh wait, it is. I have to witness my fantasy team each week.

#1 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK You know it’s a crazy season when Rob fails to hit 1,500 in two straight weeks, yet it feels like he’s failing. He’s not. This week, he did fail to get the super effort that other teams relied on, but he got four 200-point efforts from four players who are all ranked in the top-10 at their position.

Cam Newton is ranked fourth (behind Mahomes, Goff and Brees), Kareem Hunt is the second best back in football right now. McCaffrey is ranked 8th, while Robert Woods is the 8th best wideout. Where Rob needs to find consistency is at the WR2 spot and his failure to land a capable wideout in a trade, with Mack sitting on his bench, could eventually be his downfall.

#2 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART With a real opportunity to take control of the top seed, Bob got Mahome’d and has to settle for being the current top seed. He’s now in a two-way tie for first, with Masterson, who has more points than both Marc and Bob, just one game back. However, Bob did manage to pass Patini in points (130) and is now the big dog at the top of the standings.

Overall, no shame in losing a game where you score 1,759 points. For a guy who benefits with the lowest points per game by their opponents (for his career), he has two defeats that are ranked in the top-10 “most points in defeat.” Back in 2014, Bob became the first person to score 2,000 and lose (Burrier beat him, 2,117-2,089). This week, his 1,759 points is the 8th most in a defeat.

Of course, if Bob wants to point fingers, he can point at himself and his quarterback spot. If he did not perform that trade with Jeff and started Rivers and Kirk over Watson and Beckham, he would have scored 158 more points. He lost by 152 points.

Fact is, when Bob shipped Philip Rivers away, he went all in on DeShaun Watson. Now if this was your grandma’s fantasy league with its standard scoring of 1-point for every 25 yards thrown, then Bob would be okay with his collection of colletivable superstars. However, this is Robioland, where quarterback matters. This is a league where 12 quarterbacks average over 300 per contest. DeShaun Watson scored just 122 points this week. It’s the third time in five weeks he’s failed to hit at least 170.

#3 DAVID THE PATRIOT It proved to be one of the most impressive Monday night rallies in league history. Down 716 points, no one benefited more from the 100-point outburst than Colby. Patrick Mahomes, who actually turned it over five times, still managed to finish with 554 points, while 127 of his yards and one score ended up in the hands of Kelce (Colby’s star tight end). There are two weeks left in the regular season and these two have clearly already locked up first-team All-Robio awards and I don’t see how Mahomes doesn’t win the league MVP.

Yet, despite the fact that Colby just opened up a nice 553-point lead for the scoring crown, I’m still not willing to move him above the three spot. What’s wrong with me? First, I’m worried about the consistency of his backs. Matt Breida looked great in his last start, but his 300-point efforts have been more like flukes than consistent results. Impress me with a follow-up game and I’ll be…I guess impressed. Meanwhile, Tevin Coleman has the world at his feet. Freeman is gone and thanks to studs running routes in Atlanta, he never sees a seven-man front. Yet, Coleman hasn’t rushed for 100 yards since week two. He averages just 10 carries per game in his last six. That’s not enough. On top of all that…

It seemed like only yesterday, Colby was flushed with surprisingly good wide receivers, but now, not so much. While Antonio Brown continues to play well, Colby now has to turn to Tyler Lockett. He’s put up decent numbers this season, thanks to touchdowns. He has caught seven of the 16 touchdowns produced by Seattle receivers this year, which is decent since he’s only caught 38 balls on the season. The fact is, with Marvin Jones hurt with a knee injury and the magic out of John Brown’s hands (just 44 points per game in his last three), Lockett is Colby’s only real option at WR2 right now.

#4 THE DICK-TATERS In desperate need of a win, Calderon picked the wrong week to make some wrong decisions. He ended up leaving Andrew Luck’s 378 on the bench, along with Mark Ingram’s 326 and Golladay’s 286 points. This is where Rich is at right now. He has a deep team filled with solid starters, but he has to guess correctly. And yes, it’s guessing. Andrew Luck had scored at least 340 fantasy points in six straight games, but no one would fault Calderon for picking Ryan at home against Dallas over Luck at home against a good Titans D.

At 4-7, the playoffs officially begin now for Calderon. His next two contests will feature two playoff teams, each just one game ahead of him, both trailing him in points, so one win knocks them out and puts him back in.

#5 KAMARA SUTRA While Alvin Kamara and Tyreek Hill remain the stars of this team, the difference the past two weeks has been the awakening of two guys that were thought to be the difference makers. David Johnson is finally get used correctly and produced a second straight great game. He has 794 in his last two contests and has a very favorable postseason schedule. None of the Cardinals’ foes in weeks 14-16 are among the top-20 against the run in fantasy.

On top of Johnson’s re-birth, T.Y. Hilton finally came out of the closet and got in on all the Luck fun. He hit a season high 430 fantasy points, thanks to 155 yards and two scores.

For Don though, I wish he found a way before the trading deadline to address two flaws. Usually, this is where Russell Wilson starts looking like an elite quarterback, but with Seattle running the ball so much, Wilson is not getting the opportunities like in year’s past. Currently, he’s the 12th best quarterback in fantasy. Worst yet, is Don’s tight end spot. Mr. Vozzola, the man you would think would appreciate a good tight end, has gone back-to-back weeks with zero points coming from the TE. To advance deep into the postseason, he can’t keep sacrificing a roster spot each week.

#6 ALTERED BOYZ It’s a little hard to believe that in a game where the teams combined for 100 points and 1,000 yards, Todd Gurley was an afterthought, yet here we are. The league’s top back had just 15 touches for 94 yards on Monday night. He failed to score a touchdown for the first time this season.

Of course, when a team like Pattini’s is relying on three players from one team (Steelers) and that team struggles, well, you’ll never guess what’s going to happen. Overall, Big Ben, Smith-Schuster and the Steelers D had good games (each broke 200), but to win the championship this season, Marc needs his Steelers clicking.

#7 BELL’S PALSY Matt should be sure to thank Saquon Barkley for his win. the newly acquired Giants running back, abused a bad Bucs D, scoring three times and producing 152 fantasy points. He scored 484 points, while his former star, James Conner, failed to sniff 100. So yes, without his trade with me, Matt would have lost and at 4-7, would have a very small window to make it to the postseason.

Unfortunately, no one else seemed to show up. Dalvin Cook had his worst game as a pro, with -10 points. Zach Ertz was held to two catches for 15 yards. Demaryius Thomas was a no-show and scored zero points, while Alshon Jeffery failed to hit 100 for the third straight game.

#8 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL At least for one week, Jeff’s trade with Bob looks like a wise move. While Matt Stafford scored just 200 and Beckham hit 230 (430 points), Jeff’s two new starters managed to hit 510 points (Rivers: 296, Kirk: 214). Math says that a +80.

Yet, grabbing the Texans off the wire a few weeks ago is certainly helping with the winning way. Against the Redskins, they forced two turnovers, scored a touchdown sacked the quarterback five times, broke one human leg and scored 216 fantasy points.

#9 A+ EFFORT Burrier finally got Leo Fournette back last week and he’s done nothing but dominate for two weeks (338 and 342). Add in Lindsay’s 332 and Rich got 674 from his backfield this week. Yet, it still wasn’t enough to keep him in the playoff picture.

One of the problems is the play of Emmanuel Sanders. For most of the season, he looked like a borderline elite receiver, breaking 290 fantasy points three times. However, in his last three, he’s averaged just 106 points, which is not good enough for the man who is arguable Rich’s best receiver.

#10 JUST SERVIN IT From time-to-time, Eric’s squad will surprise us. His receivers go off (Julio, Diggs combine for 244 yards and two scores). He’ll make good decisions at quarterback (Rodgers outscored Trubisky, 296-226). His defense will dominant (Bears scored 211 and are the top rated defense in football).

Yet, it always feels so fluky. I just don’t have faith in Calvin Ridley as a starting wideout right now and with Kerryon Johnson again hurt, that means it is Jordan Howard time and Jordan Howard time is never a good time.

#11 SPACE FORCE It’s over, right? Griff’s towel is in hand and ready to be thrown. Three weeks ago, Griff was flying high. He won two in a row, scored over 1,500 in both and after defeating the highest scoring team in the league, he was back in the playoff hunt. Then he faced off with a pair of Vozzola boys and walked away a loser both times. Next up, he’ll face Bob and Colby, two teams he will be a heavy underdog against. A 4-9 season is looking like a real possibility.

Down the stretch, Griff was still chasing the mug and tried to get better. In hindsight, perhaps he should have been chasing after 2019, as the only good keeper he has on his roster is Drew Brees in round four. Tyler Boyd might not be a bad option in round seven, but that’s about it.

#12 SIR LOSE-A-LOT I’ve tasted a lot of failure over the last few years, but this season is going to burn my insides for years to come. Just think of what I’ve let go and it baffles the mind. This week alone, my former players dominant. Mahomes (traded) scored 554. He’s the top quarterback in fantasy. Tyreek Hill (traded for Dalvin Cook) scored 550 points and is the top wideout in football. Barkley (who I dumped for Conner) scored 484. I drafted and cut the Texans DST, who scored 216 this week and are the third ranked defense. Add in Aaron Jones stats (a player I was always targeting) and my fictional team would have 2,130 points with a kicker, tight end and second wide receiver left to play.

Instead, I welcome two solid starters, who turn into piles of shit the minute they hit my roster. Carson Wentz threw three interceptions and delivered me -4 points. Meanwhile, James Conner, went from first-team All-Robio to fourth best back in just one week, after her failed to hit 100. The day’s highlight was when he dropped a wide open 24-yard touchdown (costing me 108 fantasy points). I look forward to drafting Zeke Elliot in next year’s draft and having him tear his ACL in week one walking onto the field.

WEEK TWELVE

MARC (W) ROBIO (L) 2205.0 – 1212.0 RICH B (W) ERIC (L) 1790.0 – 1258.0 MATT (W) COLBY (L) 1701.0 – 1205.0 RICH C (W) DON (L) 1797.0 – 1298.0 BOB (W) GRIFF (L) 1663.0 – 1476.0 ROB M (L) JEFF (W) 1552.0 – 1654.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Before we dive into the rankings, let’s mention some record book items…

First up, Marc’s transformation from worst-to-first is nearly complete. Pattini is one win or one Bob defeat away from earning his first career top seed. Think that means little? Well, Eric, Colby, Masterson and both Rich’s (Calderon and Burrier) has ever done it and that’s 82 years worth of experience in this league. Of course, Marc took control of the top spot thanks to a 2,205-point effort this week. That’s the 11th highest scoring game ever and he did it with his best player (Gurley) on a bye. Two players broke 300, including a 394 from Lamar Miller, who got just 12 touches and two broke 400 (more on that below). Most importantly, three different players provided 90+ yard touchdowns. There are teams in this league who have never had one, but Marc had three this week alone.

On top of all that, the scoring outburst has turned a three-man race for the scoring crown into a four man race. Calderon is now the top dog with 18,583 points. He’s averaging 1,549 points per game. To break the regular season scoring title that’s been held since 2001, Rich’s boys would need to score 1,684 points this week. Of course, he’s not the only chasing the record book.

Colby gets Mahomes back and he trails Calderon in points by jst 16. Also within reach is Masterson, who has never had a scoring crown. He gets Hunt back and trails Rich by 222. And then there is Pattini. He’s chasing a possible in-season triple crown (top seed, scoring crown, championship). He’s just 225 points back of Rich, averaging 1,530 points per contest. One spot below is Bob. He has no real shot at the scoring crown, but he’s averaging 1,496 points per game. If he can score 1,554 points this coming week, that would make five teams who will average over 1,500 this season.

Anyhow, on to the rankings (and there has been a reshuffle this week)…

#1 THE DICK-TATERS Yep, I’m making a big jump here and putting Calderon back in the top spot with one week to go. This week, he got four 300-point performances, but it was the two 300-point efforts from his running backs that impressed me. The only thing that was holding me back in believing in Rich were his backs. Hell, even with this week’s effort, he’s just 10th in the league in rushing yards and 11th in rushing touchdowns (9). Yet, I’m starting to believe.

Mixon finally looks 100% and except for a game or two, has looked like a RB1 this season. This week was the fourth time in nine games he has hit at least 290 points. Meanwhile, Chubb could be this season’s David Johnson. His last three have gone for 240, 538 and 376. He has five touchdowns in his last three games and the Browns don’t face a top-10 run defense in the postseason.

#2 TWO-HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK With offenses moving up and down the field, it’s no surprise that kickers are also playing a bigger part when it comes to whether a team wins or a team loses. A kicker has directly impacted a Calderon game three times this season. This week, Rob got a taste of it and it didn’t taste good.

Dan Bailey in the first half had two opportunities to give Rob a win over Jeff, but he missed both a 48 and 56-yard field goal. That’s a 180-point swing, which matters in a 102-point loss. That and not having either Kareem Hunt or Robert Woods. I’m sure that mattered, too.

#3 DAVID THE PATRIOT Should I care that Colby lost and scored the week’s lowest point total? Nope. Like I said, I don’t let results sway me, especially when those results are due to the league’s MVP and the league’s top tight end taking a break.

Within that defeat to Neatock, I saw two positives that could have a big impact in the postseason. First up, Matt Breida had his second straight solid start. That’s 664 in his last two. That’s elite running back numbers. The only real downside to Brieda is the fact he would need to face the Bears #2 ranked run D in the title game, but let’s cross that bridge when we get there.

Second, is there any doubt that Tyler Lockett is the true number one receiver in Seattle? Yes, I’m a little late to this party, but over his last three, he has put up 644 points. The oddity is that a number one receiver in Seattle doesn’t mean much. Fact is, Lockett has been targeted six times just once in his last seven games, but he catches almost all those targets. He’s caught 20 of his last 22 targets and has scored in five of his last seven games.

#4 ALTERED BOYZ Last week, Marc tried a feeble attempt to trash talk, knocking the commish who knocked his decision to keep JuJu over Alex Collins. Yet, it’s a silly endeavor, as anyone who knows me knows I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong. In my eyes, Schuster-Smith’s ceiling was 1,000 yards and half a dozen touchdowns. I just didn’t see him getting enough targets with Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell occupying up so much of the offense.

Well, I was wrong and after Sunday’s performance, it’s clearly a good time to show how wrong I was. Against the Broncos, JSS was targeted 17 times, catching 13 balls, including a 97-yard touchdown. On the season, he has just 12 less targets than Brown, but six more catches for nearly 200 yards more. The only thing keeping him from being listed as the best receiver in Pittsburgh are the lack of touchdowns. Brown has 11 to Schuster-Smith’s 4. Of course, his 438-point effort was only Marc’s second 400-point effort from a wideout this week.

On Thursday, Amari Cooper also broke out for a 90-yard score (plus another 40) and finished with 480 fantasy points. Marc should get mad props for Cooper. I wouldn’t have blamed him one bit if he shipped him off to free agency after his start in Oakland this year. In six games with the Raiders, Cooper had 22 catches (18 of those 22 came in two games) for 280 yards and one score. He produced a 9-yard game, a 17-yard game and a 10-yard game. That’s cuttable numbers. Yet Marc kept him around and in just four games in Dallas, he has 22 catches, 289 yards and three scores.

#5 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART Lost among all the chatter over Bob’s elite trading abilities and super amazing trio of receivers (none of which hit 200 this week) is the little gem he’s been riding at the defensive spot.

The Saints DST was a dumpster fire for large portions of this season, but since getting torched by the Rams for -46 points, they have scored 188, 267 and 207 fantasy points. The only issue moving forward is, I’m not sure Bob will like any of the matchups come playoff time.

#6 BELL’S PALSY This week, Matt got to be the team I thought I would be. He nailed down 1,116 points from four players he received in his week eleven trade with me. Like I said in my Monday musings, if he doesn’t do this trade, he’s a three-win team.

Unfortunately, Alshon Jeffery is the one player not living up to any expectations. He has failed to hit 100 fantasy points in four straight games and it’s starting to look like Golden Tate might be the go-to guy in Philly. Obviously, if A.J. Green returns, that would make a lot of Matt’s ills go away. The problem is, still no word when Green will be back.

#7 KAMARA SUTRA If Don’s running backs are running like wild stallions, he’s winning. If they’re not, he ain’t. This week, David Johnson and Alvin Kamara were alright, combining for 354 points. Thus, Don had an alright game. Problem is, to beat someone like Calderon, alright isn’t going to get done.

LIke I said, next week is a win-and-in situation for Don. If he beats Burrier, Rich is out and Don is a playoff team once again. If he loses, it’s another early winter.

#8 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL Greenblatt got that second straight win, but gets stuck with a bad matchup to end the season. He’s going to need everything from everyone next week to beat Calderon. So, it’s probably not good news that Jeff will be without his star running back, Melvin Gordon, who injured his knee.

Luckily for him, he had the handcuff. Austin Ekeler has played well behind Gordon, averaging a stunning 5.8 yards per carry, catching 32 balls on the season. Stepping in this past week, he actually scored 266 in limited action. Perhaps against a weak Steelers front, he can provide that monster game Jeff needs next week.

#9 A+ EFFORT Burrier is by no means a lock for a playoff spot, not with Don coming up last on the schedule, but man, he’s starting to look like one of those pain-in-the-ass teams if he can sneak back into the playoffs. Oh wait, Leo Fournette just got suspended for next week’s game.

Leo Fournette, when he’s not throwing haymakers, looked like the first-round pick he was projected to be. He has delivered an impressive three straight 300-point fantasy games, which is amazing considering no team has to worry about the Jags quarterback. Add in Philip Lindsay, who could end up being the best undrafted rookie running back ever, plus the return of Gronk and Burrier could have made some nose in the postseason.

Then Fournette got hurt and that could end up killing Rich’s chances of beating Don next week. Fucking Fournette.

#10 JUST SERVIN IT Eric is a lock to make the playoffs, but let’s be honest, he’s the one guy everyone is hoping to face in the quarterfinals. Fact is, nothing about this team should scare anyone right now. Of course, a heavy load of blame should fall onto the shoulders of Jordan Howard. What the fuck happened to this guy?

In 2016, he was the second best rookie running back, who produced over 1,500 total yards, averaging a solid 5.2 yards per rush. Best yet, Eric got to keep him in round fifteen for two more years. He looked like the sleeper of the decade. Yet, the Bears running back hit small sophomore wall, rushing for just 4.1 yards per carry, producing about 300 yards less in year two. The hope was that it was a fluke. It wasn’t. In fact, Eric sort of wishes he could get 2017 numbers. Howard has taken a backseat to Cohen in Chicago’s backfield. Averaging just 3.3 yards per rush, he won’t come close to sniffing 1,000 yards. This week, he was pretty much useless, rushing for just 13 yards on seven carries.

#11 SPACE FORCE There was so much promise heading into the season with his twin backfield of Devonta Freeman and Royce Freeman. I certainly had him high up on my rankings. Yet, Devonta decided to follow in the footsteps of other injured superstar running backs on Griff’s teams and played just two games (14 rushes, 68 yards).

Now, in the past, Griff has managed to find ways to overcome this injuries; not so much to greatness, but certainly a playoff contender. This year, not so much, as Royce Freeman proved to be the biggest fake star since Shonn Greene. Projected to be a potential rookie star, he took a backseat to Philip Lindsay and failed to earn a spot on Griff’s starting roster.

Eventually he made the right move and sent Michael Thomas packing. That trade has worked out. Carson has been a serviceable back when healthy and Boyd has matched Thomas’ output since the trade. Griff even went out and landed Josh Adams, who appears to be man in Philly. Yet, it wasn’t enough and for just the second time in 19 seasons, there will be a playoff without either a Griff or Robio.

#12 SIR LOSE-A-LOT Hey, I made a good decision. I benched Burton at tight end and started Kyle Rudolph. That got me 100 extra points. Now if I could go back in time and untrade Mahomes, Hill, Barkley, Cook and Cousins and not cut the Texans D and Jared Cook and I’d be somewhere other than last place. Is it too early for me to pick Elliot as my first pick in next year’s draft?

WEEK THIRTEEN

ROB M (L) ROBIO (W) 1464.0 – 1627.0 RICH B (L) DON (W) 1202.0 – 1311.0 BOB (W) MATT (L) 1388.0 – 1038.0 JEFF (L) RICH C (W) 1116.0 – 1186.0 GRIFF (L) COLBY (W) 1434.0 – 2021.0 ERIC (L) MARC (W) 957.0 – 1290.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

With Richard Burrier coming up short, the final eight is finally set and we should have one of our more unpredictable postseasons ever. The top eight scoring teams are in the playoffs. The top eight in the breakdown are in the playoffs. The top eight teams in the power rankings are in the playoffs.

Anyhow, here are my final rankings of the regular season. Going to save any predictions for later in the week.

#1 THE DICK-TATERS (RICH C) Calderon’s squad did everything it could to keep him out of the playoffs this past week, but unfortunately for everyone else, Jeff was unwilling to play along. Bad games at the end of the season don’t faze me. In fact, they encourage me, as I believe it’s nice to get these shit performances out of the way. In fact, the last time Rich won the championship, he lost in week 13 to Colby, 1,172-1,281.

Luckily, in this season’s week 13, an opponent finally decided to not show up. On the season, Rich’s opponents averaged 1,492 points per game, which is the second most ever allowed, 25 points behind Burrier’s record set back in 2013.

#2 DAVID THE PATRIOT (COLBY) 20,588 points. That’s a big number. Yet, what is most impressive about it, is that this wasn’t some team great team Colby drafted, sat on and soaked up all the glory (think Neatock in 2009). This team has been build nearly each and every week. This is a team that lost his starting running back (3rd rd pick) in the preseason. He has two other opening day starters (Alex Collins, Marvin Jones) currently on the IR. Of course, the big change was Mahomes. His 5,106 points are a big reason for Colby’s success (25% of his team’s scoring this season).

#3 ALTERED BOYZ (MARC) Not sure if anyone noticed (does anyone really pay attention to anything in this league?), but Pattini has put together a nice trio of backs. Obviously Gurley is the big dog. His 450 this week gives him 4,468 for the season, which is the third most every scored by a running back in league history. Yet, he’s not the only dog in the yard.

Lamar Miller has recently run with purpose. He has produced four 100-yard games in his last five contests, getting at least 18 touches in those games. Also, Tarik Cohen continues to show he’s the best back for the Bears, at least thanks to his receiving skills. Against the G-Men, he had 12 catches for 156 yards and finished with 432 points. It was his second 400-point game of the season. He’ll finish the year as the 13th ranked back, 13 spots ahead of Jordan Howard.

#4 AMERICA’S SWEETHEART (BO) Let’s just pause and soak it in. The “it” being what Bob has accomplished the last five years. Entering 2014, Bob had already made it to the playoffs in eight straight seasons. He had also won three championships. However, he appeared to be trending down. He was a winner who never won earned the top seed and had actually finished 6-7 for three straight seasons. By failing to win a playoff game in 2013 and finishing 6-8, Bob’s great days seemed behind him.

Instead, it triggered arguable the greatest half decade this league has ever seen. Over the last five years, Bob has four 10+ win seasons, three top seeds, one second place finish, two scoring crowns, two trips to the title game and one championship. Over the last five regular seasons, he is 51-14 (.785 winning percentage). The next most wins in that five-year period? Masterson, who has 37 victories. Slow clap.

#5 KAMARA SUTRA (DON) Lost among all the chatter we provide for Don’s backs, is the fact that he finished the season with the league’s top wide receiver. Tyreek Hill, aka the guy who chokes and beats pregnant women, scored 3,134 points, which is the most this season by a receiver.

Of course, for Don to make any advancement in the postseason, the key may be Russell Wilson. The Seahawks quarterback has traditionally been a slow starter and fast finisher and this year is no different. After averaging just 221 for his first five games, he’s been hot, averaging 332 over his last seven.

#6 TWO HEADED RUSHIN’ ATTACK (ROB M) While Masterson didn’t get there his usual way, he is back there. Rob is back in the postseason for a 8th straight season, which is the second longest active streak (tied for second longest in league history with Don, who did it between 2004-2011). Of course, the problem for Masterson has been winning after the regular season ends. Rob has just one playoff win since 2007.

Of course, not having Kareem Hunt will make that job tougher. Marlon Mack is the best option to replace the former Chiefs back, but this week, there was plenty for Rob to worry about. With the Colts struggling to move the ball, they ignored Mack. He finished with just eight carries for 27 yards. Instead, they went with the scat back. Hines was on the field a lot and even though he only carried the ball four times, he caught nine of his ten targets for 50 yards.

#7 BELL’S PALSY (MATT) This week marked the return of A.J. Green. He was the missing piece in Neatock’s revamped offense, as he was the one wideout that could deliver elite WR1 numbers. So much for that.

After missing three straight games due to injury, Green made one seven-yard catch before being carted off the field. He has a foot injury and it doesn’t look good. This means that Matt will have to roll with Alshon Jeffery. That doesn’t look good either.

#8 JUST SERVIN IT (ERIC) For a moment, it looked like a miracle fell into Eric’s lap this week. With a $60 purchase, he was able to land the starting running back in the league’s top offense. Unfortunately, Ware proved not to be Hunt. He did produce the most touches (14 carries, one catch), but Damien Williams also saw plenty of action and nearly match Ware in production (45 yards to Ware’s 52). That’s not going to be enough to knock the top seed off his high horse in the quarterfinals.

ON TO NEXT YEAR…

#9 TALLAHASSEE TRAIL (JEFF) The opportunity to take down Calderon was there, but Greenblatt failed to take advantage of it. In the end, he will miss the playoffs because of a total points tiebreaker, losing to Eric by 449 points. That’s the third closest anyone has ever come to missing the playoffs.

In the end, losing Gordon for week thirteen was the difference. With the way Ekeler had played the previous two seasons, I think we all expected him to easily fill Gordon’s shoes. Yet, he struggled. He delivered just 21 yards on 13 carries (22 more yards on five receptions), while unknown Justin Jackson (a rookie out of Northwestern) stole the show. He finished with 82 yards and a score on just nine touches.

#10 A+ EFFORT (RICH B) Sometimes, the fantasy gods just say, no. Rich’s four-year playoff run comes to an end, thanks to Leo Fournette completely crushing Burrier’s soul. Because he had to bring out his inner-Joe Lewis, the Jaguars back was suspended for the last regular season game in fantasy. The previous three weeks, after finally coming back from injury, he produced three straight 300-point games. Instead, Rich had to roll with Doctson. He managed just 102 fantasy points and Burrier missed the playoffs by 109 points.

In reality, the fact he was even that close, is a minor miracle. Based on all the injuries Rich suffered this season, he had no business even being in this position.

His season began in dramatic fashion, earning a stunning one-point win over Eric (1,506-1,505). Then the injuries piled up. Jay Ajayi…gone (ACL tear). Cooper Kubb…gone (ACL tear). Jimmy Garoppolo…gone (ACL tear). Leo Fournette…mostly gone (hamstring). Rob Gronkowski…missed three games (a slew of injuries). It proved to be too much to overcome, as Rich finished with the league’s lowest point total of the season.

#11 SARASOTA SPACE FORCE (GRIFF) Like I said before, Griff will be picking second in next year’s draft. That’s the highest he’s ever drafted (not including trading for the top spot a few years back).

Despite having one of the top quarterbacks in football (Brees) and despite making what proved to be a smart move (shipping Thomas away for Boyd and Carson), none of it helped him overcome the fact that the two guys he drafted to run the football, his first and third pick, ended up being dumpster fires. This will be known as the year that the Freemans killed Griff’s season. Of course, he had an opportunity to fix his Royce Freeman problem, but he refused to spend $8 of auction money to land him (Burrier got him).

Unfortunately, after making it to the show for seven straight seasons (that delivered seven straight 8-win years) and earning one championship (2015), Griff has missed the playoffs in two of his last three seasons.

#12 SIR LOSE-A-LOT It helps to live up to your team name when you make decisions like I do, as this will be the year I turned what could have been one of the greatest teams ever into a last place team, as every decision I made was the wrong one.

Let’s just look at what I got rid of this season. I traded away the league’s top quarterback (Mahomes), who became the fourth quarterback in league history to average over 400 per game (425). Before the season started, I traded away Tyreek Hill, who finish as the league’s top wide receiver. Now this was a dump trade, but still, I shipped off Saquon Barkley, who went from 3rd team to 1st team after he left the Losers. I also cut Jared Cook, who finished as the fifth best tight end. In the end, I finished with the best kicker in football, Jason Myers and the second best defense (Ravens).

So, if I could have just stayed put, my eight man roster could have featured three first-team All-Robio players and two second-team All-Robio players, as I had the league’s top quarterback, wide receiver and kicker. The league’s second best running back, the fifth best tight end and second best defense to go along with Aaron Jones and Josh Gordon. Those eight combined for 20,758 points this season (over 200 more than Colby scored) and that doesn’t do it justice, because I would have to add stats from 12 more starts (eight bye weeks, Jones’ two game suspension and Gordon’s two games missed).

QUARTERFINALS

ERIC (L) MARC (W) 1660.0 – 2088.0 RICH C (W) ROB M (L) 1757.0 – 1073.0 DON (W) COLBY (L) 1357.0 – 1291.0 MATT (W) BOB (L) 1492.0 – 1471.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Now that’s a quarterfinals. In what was easiest the best week of football since the clusterfuck that was the 2011 quarterfinals, two teams pulled off massive upsets in the final minutes of Monday night’s game.

Don, who let’s not forget once lost six games in a row this season and sat at 2-6 in week eight, took down the scoring champ; not just any scoring champ, but THE scoring champ. He did it during Seattle’s last official drive, when Russell Wilson, who had been quiet all night, somehow avoided a sack and skedaddled down the sideline for 41 yards. With that, down went Colby.

A few minutes later, down 86 points, thanks to the Vikings offense giving up points, Matt’s odds of winning had dipped under 10%. It appeared Jared Goff would be Matt’s undoing. Yet, thanks to Adam Thielen’s two catches that produced 45 yards, the Vikings were in Seattle territory. Then Cook took a short pass and went 17 yards down to Seattle’s six. Matt was now down 52. The only thing that could save him was a Cook touchdown. No way, right? Something bad was going to happen. Cook would be replaced by Murray on the last play. Nope.

On the very next play, Cousins took the snap, scrambled and started to run for the end zone. Every part of his body ran past the line of scrimmage…except his right arm above the elbow. Cousins used that right arm to sling a pass sideways to Cook, who somehow walked into the end zone. Touchdown! Ball game! Just like that, the number two, three and four seeds were gone.

Anyhow, Before we lay praise on the winners, let’s be sure to give the proper goodbye to those who are leaving us and even spend a moment on those who were already gone with a little keeper talk.

1st PICK – ROBIO I am 100% taking a running back with the top pick in next year’s draft (Ezekiel Elliott, come on down), but I’m also keeping two backs. I have Aaron Jones in round eight. Since coming off his suspension, he has been the 11th best back in football, which is pretty amazing since he only gets 11.7 carries per game.

Since I have the first overall pick, there was no reason to keep Barkley, so I traded for James Conner, who I can keep in round 13. Obviously, he’s played bad and got hurt since he’s landed on the Lose-a-lots, but based on his 4.5 yards per carry, 13 touchdowns and 52 receptions, I have to assume he’s the Steelers top back next year and will look nice alongside Elliot.

Even though I failed miserably in trading this season, I will probably try to trade Aaron Jones away for a starting quarterback or wide receiver in category two. I’ll also keep my eye on Cooper Kupp. Burrier cut him, so I snagged him. If he looks healthy in the preseason, he could be a decent WR2 kept in round four.

2nd PICK – GRIFF Unfortunately, Griff didn’t recognize the failure his team would become and didn’t look to the future with any trade deadline swaps. So, heading into 2019, he’s got a handful of decent options at best.

In category one, Keenan Allen would be a decent keep with pick 23, but he could also try to squeeze another year out of Drew Brees in round four. In category two, Coomer has good, but not great players. Tyler Boyd could be the top option in Cincy next year and can be kept in round seven. Josh Adams has done well as the Eagles starting back. If he’s the top dog in 2019, he can be kept in round six. Griff also has Chris Carson in round six.

In category three, I don’t see much. Perhaps O.J. Howard in round 13, but has he really proven he’s worth much of anything in his first two seasons in the NFL?

3rd PICK – BURRIER For Rich, he’s going to have to brag about quality over quantity. Phillip Lindsay is the star of his potential keeper class. The rookie was nearly an All-Robio running back this season and since Rich grabbed him off the wire, he can have him in round six for two more seasons.

Other than that though, I don’t see a lot of good keeper options. Corey Davis has shown flashes, but has he shown enough flashes to justify a fifth-round keeper? Brady could be kept in round three, but his stats have taken a solid dip in 2018. There is Gronkowski in round two. He can still produce (although tackling is not really his thing), but he gets hurt too much for a second-round pick. That’s about it, as Burrier has no category three keeper options, unless he wants to keep his kicker or the Packers soft D.

4th PICK – JEFF The Melvin Gordon era comes to an end for Jeff, but perhaps it’s just the beginning of the Sony Michel era. The Patriots rookie back looks like the real deal and with Brady aging, the Pats could become a run-first team the next two seasons and Michel can be kept in round seven the next two years.

Outside of Michel though, I don’t see a lot. He could roll the dice on a couple of rookie wideouts breaking out in their sophomore campaigns. I’m referring to Christian Kirk (round seven) and Anthony Miller (round twelve).

5th PICK – ERIC The running back position continues to be Eric’s Achilles heel, if his Achilles heel had a knife and every year stabbed Eric in the lower back repeatedly. In 18 seasons of Robioland football, Eric has never produced a first-team All-Robio back. Never. That’s pretty incredible. In fact, he’s produced just two All-Robio backs in his entire career, when Matt Forte and Ray Rice went back-to-back second-team in 2011 and 2012. That’s it. I once wrote a post about it in 2011 and nothing has changed since.

This year, the failures were Jordan Howard and Kerryon Johnson. The former was supposed to be one of the best keepers ever, but after a spectacular rookie season, he got progressively worse to the point where Eric couldn’t even start him anymore. Johnson, who was a sleeper in the third round, showed flashes. He became the first Lions’ back to rush for 100 yards since the Nixon Administration and had four 200-point games, but injuries kept him from reaching his full potential.

Running backs win championships. That’s the fact, jack. If Eric ever wants a real shot at the mug, he needs to engineer some running backs. Obviously, having the fifth pick in the draft might help. I also assume he’ll probably keep Johnson in round three, although that’s where I project him being drafted. Of course, Eric could go one more year with Stefon Diggs in round four.

After that tough, not a lot of star power. Calvin Ridley has a future in this league and can be had in round nine. Perhaps the Jets hand the backfield to Eijah McGuire and he gets kept in round six. In category three, Howard goes back to the draft pool, so no non-kicker options for Eric there.

6th PICK – MASTERSON In the end, having Kareem Hunt would have made no difference, as Calderon proved to have too much fire power. Blame Jeff for not keeping Rich out of the playoffs last week.

Heading into 2019, Rob could have some interesting decisions. Christian McCaffrey can be kept in the first-round and may be a good option, even with the sixth overall pick. However, what’s the deal with Kareem Hunt? Will he be Ray Rice’d out of this league? I doubt it. I suspect he’ll be picked up by a team next year. What if the NFL suspends him four games? Six games? Is he worth keeping in round two over McCaffrey.

In category two, Rob is looking at Marlon Mack in round six, maybe Kenyan Drake in round six, although I’m not convinced both these won’t try to find a great back in the NFL draft. Robert Woods could be the best option in round seven. In category three, Courtland Sutton might be worth a look late in the draft.

7th PICK – COLBY To say it was predictable would be stupid, but the warning signs were there. Without Patrick Mahomes scoring 400, David the Patriots had struggled to win, going just 2-4 in those contests. This is what happens when one player contributes so much to a fantasy team’s success.

Travis Kelce was the only other player on Colby’s team to put up over 200 (he scored 214). Meanwhile, while Gus Edwards and Jeff Wilson played fine, they proved not to be the savvy late season saviors they might have been projected to be. Neither hit 200, as neither could find the end zone.

In the end, the Mahomes trade didn’t deliver a champion to Colby…yet. Fact is, he’s going to get the league’s top quarterback for two seasons in the ninth round. At the very least, Mr. Hall will be competitive no matter what he does in the draft until 2020. Of course in 2019, Mahomes might be the only good keeper Colby has. Hard to see him using a first-round pick on Antonio Brown and Kelce goes back to the draft pool, as does Tevin Coleman in round 13. With McKinnon returning next season, Breida heads back to sleeper candidate, which leaves John Brown (round 14) as Colby’s second best keeper option.

8th PICK – BOB Bob is good. Let’s not kid ourselves. You don’t make it to the playoffs every year since 2006 by accident. However, Bob is lucky. Lately, he’s been averaging over 10 wins per season. What helps is the fact that Bob has won the award for “Luckiest team” in four out of the last five seasons. If you don’t understand what that means, it means that his opponents have scored the least amount of points. The problem with this type of success story is you need more than luck to win it all in the playoffs.

This week, Bob’s luck went out the window with Odell Beckham’s injury. Remember, Bob shipped all his depth away to build a more superior team, but with Beckham out when it mattered, Bob had to turn to one-week wonder, Justin Jackson. The rookie backup back had just 12 yards on seven carries, plus 23 yards receiving. He scored just 70 points. Sadly, there is no doubt a healthy Beckham would have scored the points needed to beat Neatock against a pathetic Redskins team.

Looking ahead to next season, Bob’s keeper situation begins with Deshaun Watson in round 14 for one more year. Hopefully for him, one full season removed from ACL surgery will allow the Texans quarterback to return to elite status. After that, not a lot to be excited about. He could do David Njoku in round seven and then Davante Adams could be a solid keep in round two (which would be the 17th pick overall).

ON TO THE FINAL FOUR….

7-SEED – MATT NEATOCK Lost in all the complaining about Bob’s two trades that landed him Odell Beckham and Michael Thomas, is the fact that it was Neatock who made the best trade of all. By giving up the a potential stud category three back, Matt went all in on a repeat and it’s paying off big time. Remember, when Matt traded for Saquon Barkley and Dalvin Cook, he was 4-6. Yet, he has now won three of four and has arguably the best backfield left in the club.

Since being traded, Barkley has been the best player in football. Even better than Mahomes. In his last four, he has scored 484, 404, 292 and 454 fantasy points. He’s on pace for nearly 1,500 yards rushing and 2,300 total yards as a rookie. He has 538 yards rushing just in his last four games.

6-SEED – DON VOZZOLA Last week, I basically said that if Don wanted to win, he needed his sleeping giants to wake the fuck up. Those giants would be David Johnson and T.Y. Hilton. At least for a week, the latter listened. Hilton had his best game in years, with nine catches for 199 yards and 398 fantasy points. Add in Hill’s 290 and Don was saved by his receivers, who accounted for 50% of his offense this week.

Still, what to do about that tight end spot. Next week, Don faces Calderon, who just got nearly 500 points from his tight end. If you haven’t been paying attention, Don’s tight end spot is pretty pathetic. Through nine weeks he had Kyle Rudolph. He wasn’t great, but he did average 90.8 points per game. Then he had his bye and Don cut him (and failed to get him back). Since then, Don’s tight ends have scored 54 fantasy points. Not 54 points per game, but 54 fantasy points. This week was the third time in five weeks his tight end spot was a zero.

5-SEED – RICH CALDERON I’ve been saying this for a while, but this week they really showed it; Calderon’s squad is easily the most complete team in the league. The only thing close to a weakness is at defense and if you’re going to have a weak spot, that’s the place to be weak.

Both Andrew Luck (368) and Joe Mixon (336) hit the 300-point mark, while Rich’s receivers continue to put up less-than-impressive digits. Yet, the big dog of the day was George Kittle. Heading into the Sunday late afternoon game, CBS still had this game even. In fact, Masterson was the favorite for small stretches, but Kittle put that notion to rest.

Thanks to 85-yard touchdown, Kittle had a stunning 210 yards in the first half. He was only a few yards away from breaking the record for most receiving yards by a tight end, but in the second half, he was shutout. He had 480 fantasy points through 30 minutes and finished with 480 fantasy points in 60 minutes. Masterson’s tight end? He scored 26 points.

1-SEED – MARC PATTINI And then there was Marc. While the other top seeds and scoring champs were dropping like flies, Pattini was left standing and standing tall. He dominant his opponent, scoring a week high 2,088 points. He did that with Todd Gurley producing a season low 116 fantasy points.

Of course, much of his numbers came from his wide receivers. Amari Cooper nailed down 614 fantasy points. That is the 15th greatest performance by a wideout in league history. He scored three touchdowns, all in the fourth quarter and overtime. While Jerry Jones deserves all the praise for giving up a first-round pick for Cooper, I’ll continue to heap praise on Marc for not giving up on Cooper as he struggled in Oakland. Like I said before, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had cut Cooper earlier in the season.

Speaking of good decisions, Smith-Schuster is turning into one of the greatest keeper decisions of all-time. While our in-season player stats end with the regular season (just like the NFL), unofficially, JSS has passed Antonio Brown as the best receiver in Pittsburgh. While Brown struggled with just 35 yards (costing Colby a trip to the semifinals), Smith-Schuster had his seventh 100-yard game (third in his last four games). Add in his two touchdowns and he finished with 380 fantasy points.

Of course, now all eyes are on Big Ben’s ribs. He’s hurt. He’s expected to play, but what kind of production are we going to get out of him? If he struggles, then so does Smith-Schuster. Would Marc dare bench Big Ben for Lamar Miller? The semifinals will be fun!

SEMIFINALS

MATT (W) MARC (L) 1438.0 – 1016.0 DON (L) RICH C (W) 1606.0 – 1682.0

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

We are down to our final two and we are officially saying goodbye to the top four. That’s the kind of year this was going to be. In fact, I’m in three leagues and in those three leagues, only one top four team (#2 seed) is still in the playoffs.

TIME TO SAY GOODNIGHT…

DON VOZZOLA After a tragic five seasons of Robioland Football, where Don has tried to win without the add/drop feature, he bounced back nicely with an impressive playoff season (and didn’t pick up his first player until week seven).

This season, Don was a guy who began the year at the top of the rankings, only to see six straight defeats. He didn’t panic and start throwing away players to Bob and instead managed to rebound, becoming just the third person to lose six-straight and make it to the playoffs.

Of course, his season ends just 76 points short in a game where he scored over 1,600. Obviously, his biggest name failed to show when he needed him. Of course, Tyreek Hill had his worst game of the season and that didn’t help, but let’s blame the fact he never managed to get himself a tight end. This week, Ian Thomas had just two catches (28 fantasy points, which is one more catch than he’s gotten from all his tight ends over the last month.

MARC PATTINI In the span of just one season we went from “oh shit, this is the guy we brought into the league,” to “oh shit! this is the guy we brought into the league?” He went from scrub to superstar in season two, earning a top seed, something a handful of people have never done despite being in this league for 16 years.

Obviously, losing Lamar Miller after just three carries on Saturday night didn’t help things, but it’s doubtful he would have made up the 422 points that Pattini lost by. Thus, I blame the curse of the quarterfinals high score. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The reality is, dominating back-to-back weeks is tough, especially in this day and age of the NFL. There is no better example than Marc’s receivers. Amari Cooper and JuJu Smith-Schuster scored 994 fantasy points last week. This week, they had nine total touches for 83 yards and 166 fantasy points.

THE FINALS…

MATT NEATOCK It’s like Matt and I have some Freaky Friday shenanigans in fantasy. Last year, he offers me up Carson Wentz in the preseason for Jordy Nelson. I decline. So, of course, Wentz becomes the top quarterback in fantasy, Nelson loses his and bombs. I bomb as well and Matt wins the title.

This season, with basically no shot at the playoffs, I trade away Barkley, Cook and Jeffery for Conner (13th rd keeper) and Wentz. Of course, the latter two are now hurt. Meanwhile, Barkley had three straight 400-point games, Cook had his best game of the season this week and has had 200+ in four straight after having one all season. Jeffery had his best game of the year and has 480 in his last two. Now this trio gets to lead Neatock in the title game, while I’m stuck dominating Calderon’s league.

The best part is, if I didn’t make the trade with Matt, I still would not have made the playoffs. I would have won two of my final three, but I would have lost to Pattini in week 12. Matt would have missed the playoffs and Burrier would have gotten in.

RICH CALDERON Like I said before, Rich entered the playoffs with the most depth and would need to make good decisions to keep advancing. This week, he made three bad decisions, as Matt Ryan, Jaylen Samuels and Kenny Golladay outscored starters Andrew Luck, Nick Chubb and Adam Thielen by the score of 986 to 406. Yet, here he is advancing.

It certainly helped that DeAndre Hopkins rediscovered that he was pretty damn good with 170 yards and two scores (460 points), but let’s give Joe Mixon an extra rub down.

The Bengals running back was sort of a risky reach in round one this season, but he has really paid off and since the Bengals have gone to their second string quarterback, he has looked like one of those “bring home a championship” type of back. After scoring 336 in the quarterfinals, he put up 380 in the semifinals. It helps that the Bengals are leaning on him heavily. He has 53 carries in his last two games.

#5 THE DICK-TATERS vs #7 BELL’S PALSY More on this later in the week, but this is a rematch of the 2007 title game.

FINALS

MATT (W) RICH C (L) 1631.0 – 1578.0 (Championship)

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

First up, as always, let’s give a shoutout to the runner-up.

Another brilliant year for Calderon, who has really established himself as one of the greats of Robioland. He’s made the playoffs in ten of the last 12 seasons, taking four trips to the finals (three in the last six), winning two championships.

This season he put together arguable one of the deepest teams in league history and it only came up 53 points short of winning it all. Rich became just the second person in league history to score over 1,500 and lose in the title game. Also, the 53-point margin was the third closest in league history in a title game.

How close was this? A hail mary decided it.

In the Vikings game against the Lions, Kirk Cousins threw up a 45-yard hail mary with one second to go in the first half and Kyle Rudolph brought it down for a touchdown. That gave Matt 75 points in a game he won by 53. Now on to your 2018 champion.

This was not supposed to happen.

There was never a time when Neatock realistically belong in the conversation for a title. The defending champ had just one functioning running back. With A.J. Green out injured, he had no wide receivers worth bragging about. He couldn’t make a good decision at quarterback. More than anything, his record said everything.

Matt began the year 1-3. He sat at 2-5 through seven weeks. Heading into week 11, he was still two games below .500, just seventh in scoring. Yet, he was thrown a life preserver before week 11. Yet, who could have predicted how much he got saved at that moment?

That week was when I threw the towel in. Looking for a good category three keeper, I scored James Conner, Le’Veon Bell, Carson Wentz, Jamaal Williams and the Falcons D, giving Matt, Saquon Barkley and Dalvin Cook, plus Alshon Jeffery, Latavius Murray and Kirk Cousins.

It was the biggest trade in league history and unlike Bob’s trades earlier in the season, no one made a stink about it. No uproar. Of course, there didn’t appear to be any reason to have one. Barkley was solid, sure, but Cook had just one 200-point game and was in a timeshare in Minnesota (and was on my bench) , Jeffery couldn’t score 100 if you spotted him 90 (and was about to be benched) and Cousins had fallen out of the top-10 among quarterbacks.

Yet, like everything that involves me and Neatock, everything that I touched turned to shit, while everything he touched, turned to gold.

Conner was out for the year the following week. Wentz would join him two weeks later, while Matt suddenly started seeing things go his way.

In week 11, he got me. Barkley had his best game of the year, while Conner score 22 and got hurt. Without the trade, Matt would have lost and been in last place. The following week, he got back to .500, facing the eventual league scoring champ (Colby), but without Mahomes and without Kelce. Sure he lost to Bob to end the season, but it didn’t matter. At 6-7, he was the 7-seed.

Yet, in round one, he was facing 2-seed Bob, looking for a little revenge from the 2017 title game. Yet, Matt pulled off the Bob-like upset by just 22 points, thanks to 128 from the Vikings D on Monday night.

The following week, more love came Matt’s way, as 1-seed Marc produced his lowest point total of the season, putting Neatock back into the title game. Of course, it wasn’t all a fluke.

Since the trade, Barkley had become the best back in football with three 400-point games over a four-week period. Meanwhile, Cook was producing at least 200 in each game since week 12, hitting 446 in the semifinals. Alshon Jeffery, who was lucky he wasn’t cut, got his wish when Nick Foles was named the starting quarterback, which bumped his stats up. Even Kirk Cousins looked like a decent arm again.

Against Calderon in the title game, those players did fine. Both backs scored over 200 and Jeffery wasn’t fine, scoring 164, but in the end, there were four factors that decided this game…

#1 ZACH ERTZ Oddly enough, it was Matt’s oldest player who was the true difference maker. Zach Ertz, a seventh-round keeper, dominate with a career day: 12 catches, 110 yards and two scores. He scored 340 fantasy points.

#2 BALLSY DECISION Yes, Jared Goff had played bad the past two weeks, but it took balls to shove him aside for Kirk Cousins, who had proven very recently that a zero-TD, three interception game could come at anytime. Yet, that decision gave Matt the title. Cousins outscored Goff, 330-226. The 104 points mattered in a 53-point win.

#3 NO TOUCHDOWNS Calderon’s skilled players performed well. All five had 75 yards or more. The problem is, none scored a single touchdown. 61 combined touches, no scores. Nick Chubb had the best shots. He was handed the ball four times within five yards from the end zone and never managed to bang it in. Again, one 60-point touchdown matters in a 53-point loss.

#4 NO ROBBIE ANDERSON Rich said he debated picking up Robbie Anderson and benching Adam Thielen. A decision like that probably would have been mocked. Well, Thielen scored 166, Anderson scored 340 against the Packers. Should of, would of, could of…didn’t.

Anyhow, Neatock is now among the elite. He joins myself and Bob as the only four-time champions, which means 12 of the league’s 20 titles are in the hands of three people. Also like us, he joins us as the only people to win a championship in back-to-back seasons.

Congratulations to Matt. Enjoy yet another mug.

And folks, a second decade of Robioland Football comes to a close.