Holy fuck balls, can it be? Yes it can. The 2018 season will be year 20 in this great experiment we call Robioland Fantasy Football. What began as just a few bored guys in a Ruby Tuesday corner booth as turned into what many would argue is the greatest fantasy league in the history of mankind.

Twenty seasons in and we have seen so many historic moments. However, I’m going to list my top five of all-time.

ROBIO’S TOP-FIVE HISTORICAL MOMENTS (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

2002 – Griff’s Six’s  Griff becomes first team to make the playoffs, despite losing six straight games. Why do I love it? Because it’s a story of hope. It’s the story of this league.

2004 – The Greatest Game Back when Bob was just some lucky punk, he somehow squeezed out a last second victory against heavyweight, Griff, to win his first title.

2008 – The Decisions  I make two lineup decisions that cost me a championship. Remains the saddest day in my fantasy career.

2011 – The Greatest Weekend  The title says it all. Four amazing playoff games, all four going down to the wire.

2014 – Greatest Game, Greatest Team, Greatest Season Bob’s ’14 squad becomes the league’s best ever, thanks to a stunning 1-point escape over Neatock

2017 SEASON

Obviously, the big news heading into last year was the departure of Molly Coomer, the last woman in the league. She was replaced with Marc Pattini, a former one-season partner of Bob Castrone. Marc entrance into the league was a stumble to say the least; as he dropped his first seven games of his career. Despite a good effort, Pattini failed to earn an invite to the postseason, joining Don, Colby and myself; three guys who lately have missed a lot of playoff parties.

Burrier did what he always did, earn the 8-seed for the third straight season and fifth time in his last seven playoff appearances. Griff shook off a 0-3 start and the loss of David Johnson to win four of his final five to earn the 7-seed. Eric and Jeff, the two teams who have historically been associated with losing in this league, both made it back to the playoffs (again), each advancing to the semis.

Masterson again cracked the top four thanks to yet another 5-0 start to the year, but after losing six of his last eight, he fell in the quarterfinals for what feels like the 28th straight season. Calderon actually did a fine job defending his 2016 title, winning a solid nine games, but he always seemed to be a step behind the two elites and fell in the quarterfinals.

Bob began the year with a team that looked like a tragic mess, suffered through massive injuries to true superstars, yet still, somehow managed to earn the top seed (again) and reach the finals (again), although for the first time in his career, he failed to win it.

Which brings us to Neatock. The man that best represents the “boom or bust” style, rode a pair of solid keepers, savvy sleepers and good picks to earn the title of preseason favorite. Despite a few hiccups along the way that cost him the top seed (and potentially the label of greatest team ever), Matt rolled through the postseason at a record breaking pace, bringing home a third career championship.

TEAM RANKINGS

I’ve decided I wanted to treat these rankings a little differently this year. In the past, I’ve only taken into account a team’s full resume, being these are career rankings. However, with so many seasons under everyone’s belt (except Marc), at this point, it’s sort of impossible not to take into consideration what you have done for me lately.

#1 BOB CASTRONE

Last season, for the first time ever, Bob reached the title game and failed to win it. Although he was by no means the favorite, with Bob being Bob, I was little shocked that Bob didn’t manage to Bob his way out of a bad situation.

Yet, last year’s 14-win record tying team may arguable be the most impressive managerial juggling act he has ever performed. He certainly didn’t appear to draft a playoff team and it didn’t help that he lost both of his starting running backs and the league’s top free agent pickup (Watson) before we even got through the first five weeks of the season. However, when the dust settled, Bob was starting only two players he drafted in his fifth title game.

This is what’s scary. This is a man who last missed the playoffs back in 2005, yet he seems to be getting better. During this stunning 12-year run, Bob has managed to pull out nine winning seasons, eleven 9-win seasons (regular and postseason) and overall, he’s won four championships (tied for league most), including back-to-back titles in 2010-2011. Over the last four years, he became the only person to earn both a top-seed and scoring crown in back-to-back years and he’s been the top seed in three of the last four.

What more can this guy do? With both Elliot and Watson expected to be on his opening day roster, the answer is…a lot more.

#2 GRIFF COOMER

Prior to the start of the 2009 season, Griff’s resume was already more than impressive. Sure he missed the playoffs three teams (all because his opponents scored the most points in those years), but in nine seasons in Robioland, he had reached the title game a league best five times, winning it once in 2005 with the amazing backfield of Shaun Alexander and Larry Johnson.

Fast forward to 2015 and Griff somehow was even better and on the verge of pushing past Bob as the best ever. In a seven-year stretch leading up to 2015, Griff had scored seven straight winning seasons (winning at least eight games each year) and seven straight playoff trips. Sure, he struggled in the playoffs for a bit, but after losing a fifth title game in 2013, he rode David Johnson to the title in 2015. With the Cardinals’ running back on board for two more seasons, things looked good for the Truck Nut. Yet…

The last two years have been a pair of struggles for Coomer. In fact, after winning his second title in 2015, he would drop 12 of his next 16 games, missing the playoffs in 2016 and just sneaking into the playoffs in 2017, despite finishing 9th in scoring (losing in the quarters).

With Johnson gone and no superstar keepers waiting for him at the gate, Griff will practically need to start from scratch in 2018 if he doesn’t want to miss out on a third straight title game, something that’s only happened twice in his career.

#3 RICH CALDERON

Hey, remember when this guy was the best team to not win a championship? Yeah, it doesn’t seem like it was that long ago, but over the last five years, Calderon has put together three fine seasons, two of which resulted into two championships (2013 and 2016).

Reaching the postseason has almost become automatic, as he has received his playoff invite in nine of the last 11 seasons and even in the four years he failed to reach the postseason, he’s never dipped below five wins. Not impressed yet? He’s one of four people to produce six 9-win seasons. Bob’s done it (three times in the last four years) and Griff and I have done it, playing in four more seasons.

For Rich, it’s no time to settle in though. With another title game run, it might be time to start mentioning his name with the top two elites remaining in this league; Bob and Griff.

#4 ROBIO MURRAY

Hey, remember when I was good? Yeah, I don’t either. In fact, I’m the reason why I’m now taking into consideration recent success into my thought process. Anyhow, there have been three stages of my career…

Stage One: Greatness. Between 1999-2003, when most of you weren’t in this league, I dominated. I won three championships and the two times I didn’t, I had the top seed and scoring crown and the other year I was arguable the best team heading into the playoffs. I was on a roll. Yet, a stunning quarterfinals loss as a 1-seed to Calderon in 2003, kicked off…

Stage Two: Great High’s, Low Low’s. Between 2004-2013, I missed the playoffs way too often (four times in 10 seasons). Yet, when I succeeded, I succeeded like a man. I earned a top seed, produced the first 14-win season, won two scoring crowns and made it to four title games, although I won just once in 2012. I could live with that kind of decade. However, what I can’t live with is…

Stage Three: Awful. The last four seasons have been just pathetic. I have four losing seasons, starting with back-to-back three-win seasons (2014-2015). I made the playoffs just once (2016) and that was just as a six-seed, before falling in the semis and missing the playoffs the following season.

Despite these facts, I remain first or second in nearly all important categories (wins, scoring, playoff production), yet I can’t overlook the simple fact that I have missed the playoffs in half of my last 14 seasons in my own league. That’s why I’m leapfrogging Calderon over me in the career rankings, barely staying ahead of Neatock. Speaking of…

#5 MATT NEATOCK

Congratulations to Neatock for producing one of the best seasons in Robioland history. He kept well, drafted well and was the favorite pretty much from beginning to end, behind a stellar backfield. With a season like that in the bag, Matt is up to fourth in scoring and fifth in winning percentage. He’s also first in playoff points per game and fourth in career 1,500-point games. Prior to last season, he was hovering around the middle of the pack in all those categories.

The fact is, Matt does well…well. Matt became just the third person in league history to earn a third career championship and two of those titles are now ranked #2 and #3 season of all-time. Yet, we can’t overlook the fact that all three championship seasons were following up three non-playoff years.

Since joining the league in 2003, Matt has missed the playoffs six times; only two people (Eric and myself) have missed it more. While Neatock certainly has the pieces for another title run in 2018, that’s not his track record as one of the league’s most hit-and-miss teams.

#6 ROB MASTERSON

For too long, Rob was the lovable loser, who just couldn’t catch a break. After squeezing into the playoffs in his first three seasons, he would miss the show in four of his next six, officially hitting rock bottom with a career worse 2-11 season in 2010. Yet, the beauty of the bottom is there is only one place to go and over the last seven seasons, few have been more consistent than Mr. Masterson.

Rob has not only made it to the playoffs the last seven years (second longest active streak), he’s had seven winning seasons, earning a top-four seed five times. Yet, that hump. That fucking hump. In Rob’s case, his hump are the Robioland playoffs. Asking Rob to get a win in the postseason is like asking a Michael J. Fox to climb the Himalayas. He’s lost in the quarterfinals the last four seasons and in six of the last seven years. Since 2007, he has notched just one playoff victory. That’s it.

The problem for Masterson is a problem he has had since day one. He’s a monster out of the gate. In what is arguable the most incredible stat in this league, Rob is 15-1 in week one (last losing on opening day back in 2006). Yet, it’s not just one week. Rob started last year 5-0. He did the same in 2016. He was 4-0 in 2014 and 3-0 in 2013. Yet, he’s not just the king of naming teams (four best team name awards), he’s the king of second half collapses (four of those awards, including three of the last four).

Looking ahead, Rob needs to not just be great at the beginning. He needs to be great all season long, as he remains the only team (other than Marc of course), who has never reached a title game, never earned a top seed and has never earned a scoring crown. That’s too many never’s.

#7 RICHARD BURRIER

In reality, based on how he always finishes as the 8-seed, I should have easily put Rich in the 8-spot in these rankings, but I won’t. As long as he has that 2003 championship in his back pocket and as long as Colby is struggling, then I’m going to keep Burrier ahead of Hall.

Rich’s journey has certainly been an interesting one. There was obviously the Tomlinson era, where he had L.T. for 5+ seasons. In that half decade, Rich had four winning seasons, five playoff trips, four division titles (remember divisions?) and one championship (losing in the first round four straight years, 2004-2007).

However, after struggling to make it to the postseason post-LT, Rich has consistently made it back to the show since 2010. He’s made it the playoffs in seven of the last eight years, but…barely. In his last eight trips to the playoffs (dating back to 2007), Rich has been the 8-seed five times. He’s been the 8-seed the last three years. Unfortunately, the bad thing about being the last playoff pick is that you don’t win very many playoff games. In fact, Burrier is just 1-5 as a 8-seed and he’s lost in the quarterfinals the last four years.

Moving forward, like Masterson, he needs to get over that hump. However, unlike Masterson, who actually produces winning teams and is suffering through a series of bad luck in the post, Burrier does not produce winning teams and is expected to lose in the playoffs. Why? Because he’s been 6-7 the past three seasons and since 2007, he has produced just two winning seasons (7-6 in 2011 and 8-5 in 2014). During that time, he also became the only person to win just five games and make the playoffs (2010).

#8 COLBY HALL

Is it me or does it seem like it’s been a long time since Colby’s been in the playoffs? In reality, he’s failed to land a postseason invite in just the last two seasons. It was only three years ago, he made it to the title game (losing to Griff). The issue is, Colby always seems to have great teams and high expectations, but always seems to fall short. The last two seasons, he’s struggled out of the gate (0-6 in 2016 and 2-5 in 2017) and despite late pushes, he’s come up short (twice finishing 9th). It wasn’t always like this…

Since joining the league back in 2004, first as Jeff’s partner, then starting in 2009, as a solo act, Colby has been of one the most consistent teams in the league. Through his first 12 years, he made it to the postseason nine times, reaching at least the semis five times. He won a scoring title back in 2004 and twice finished among the top three. During one incredible four-year run, Colby would face Griff in the postseason and the Florida boy would soon becoming his nemesis, as he ended Colby’s season in 2013, 2014 and 2015.

Yet, with the way the last two seasons have gone, Colby is probably longing for those days when Griff made his life miserable in the playoffs. For now, he’s looking to avoid becoming the fourth person (Eric, Don, Jeff) to miss the playoffs in three straight seasons.

#9 JEFF GREENBLATT

After five seasons in this league (four as a solo artist post-Colby), Jeff was looking like a joke. In fact, he had fallen behind Eric in the career rankings and that looked like an impossibility. However, despite a 3-win hiccup in 2014, Jeff has put together a solid five-year run, with an impressive 2016 and follow-up act that was 2017.

Over the last five seasons, Jeff has made it to the playoffs four times, finally dominating in 2016, when he won 11 regular season games, earning the top seed. He even reached the title game, before falling to a better Calderon team. Last year, he delivered a second straight winning season and after a minor quarterfinals upset, he came one game away from getting back to the title game.

With a pair of decent keepers heading into 2018, Jeff needs to just keep it going. He’s no longer looked at as a guarantee win and looks primed to make a step forward in class.

#10 ERIC VOZZOLA

Has Eric finally put behind him the tragedy that was his Robioland career behind him? After missing the playoffs in his first six seasons in this league and 10 of his first 14, Eric was king of failure. Yet, he’s now made it to the postseason three straight years. It’s only the second time he’s done that. Only one of those teams produced a winning record (he was the three seed in 2015), but last year he was actually the favorite as the 6-seed in the quarterfinals and managed to reach the semis for the second time in his career (he made it to the title game in 2012).

For Eric, just like Jeff above, he needs to turn these good seasons into a great one. I’m not talking about being Bob and delivering a dozen straight seasons of playoff appearances and a bunch of top seeds. I was thinking, be more like Neatock. He produces wave after wave of average to bad seasons, but every now and then, something great springs out and he brings home a title. Eric needs that on his resume.

#11 DON VOZZOLA

Soon, I will have a story about the history of category three picks. It’s a fine story that will maybe answer the age old question: who is the best at picking starters with in the final five picks. For the record, it’s not Don. However, there is one paragraph that I’ve written, that I feel best sums up Don’s most-recent career in this league.

…this pick was the beginning of the end of Don being relevant in this league. Let me explain. That year (2013), he drafted running back Fred Jackson in round 11, who finished the year ranked #11 among all backs. He was the only full-time category three starter in Don’s career. The following season, Don could have kept him, but decided not to, instead choosing to keep no one in category three. Yet, in the 2014 draft, Don used a fifth-round pick on…you guessed it, Fred Jackson; a guy he could have just kept in round 11.

Does that sum it all up nicely?

Throughout Don’s 17-year career, he’s never been a great owner, but from time to time, he did manage to do great things. This was a man who between 2004-2011, made the playoffs every single season. He earned a top seed (2005) and a scoring crown (2007) and most importantly, brought home two championship mugs in 2006 and 2008, giving hope to all 7-seeds everywhere.

Yet, in 2012 he won just four games. He followed that up with another four-win season. He won six in 2014, but missed the playoffs. In 2015, he became just the second person to miss the postseason four straight seasons. Since 2012, Don is just 28-48 (nearly a third of those wins came in 2016) and he’s missed the playoffs in four out of five seasons.

Is there hope on any horizon? Maybe. He’s got two things going for him in 2018. First, he’s got the second overall pick in the draft. Now the second overall pick doesn’t have the track record of a first overall pick, but this season, with a handful of studs available early in the draft, Don’s second overall pick will feel like a first overall. Second, Don pulled off a trade deadline swap with Bob and that’s really, really good news. The last two champions won their titles thanks to a big part played by players they received the season before by Bob in trades. Three seasons ago, Calderon received Le’Veon Bell. Two years ago, Matt got Todd Gurley. Both those guys would go on to earn first-team All-Robio awards. Of course, last year Don landed Kamara.

#12 MARC PATTINI

Marc’s first year in the league couldn’t have been much worse. He failed to win his first seven and finish last in both the standings and in scoring. Yet, he never gave up, kept making moves and actually split his last three; two against playoff teams. More than anything, we forgive losses, but we don’t forgive giving up here in Robioland, so props to Marc.

Now it’s time to turn that rookie lesson learning into sophomore success. Luckily for him, he’s got a ace up his sleeve. He’s got the first overall pick. Marc may not know this, but that’s a good thing. In fact, that’s a very good thing. A team picking first overall has made it to the playoffs in 17 of the league’s 19 seasons, including last season, when Neatock went from worst to first, becoming the fourth 1st overall pick to win it all.