(2) WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES vs (6) QUARTER POUNDERS

It’s Griff vs. Colby. Welcome 2 Fla, Assholes vs. the Quarter Pounders. Will the Pounders pound some Florida ass, or will the Assholes prevail? Many questions. Let’s get to it.

RECORDS

Griff: 11-4 (finished 2nd in the standings) Colby: 8-7 (finished 6th in the standings)

POINTS

Griff: 23,017 | 1,535 PPG (finished 2nd in points in the regular season) Colby: 20,841 | 1,384 PPG (finished 4th in points in the regular season)

GRIFF’S 2015 SEASON

No stranger to success, Griff entered the year producing six straight seasons with 8 wins, last missing the playoffs back in 2008. In fact, Griff has only missed the post-season three times in his career and in all three seasons, his opponents were first in scoring.

Anyhow, the issue he has had has been turning that success into title runs. After making it to the title game in five of the first seven years in this league and a sixth time in 2009, Griff had dropped three straight quarterfinals games in 2010-12. He returned to the title game in 2013 (losing to Bob), but fell short again in the 2014 semis.

This season began with a defeat to Calderon and a 2-2 record after a month. A three-game winning streak, put Griff squarely into the playoff picture, but after a week eight defeat to Matt, he sat at 5-3 and the team had the scent of an early-playoff exit. Then week nine happened.

He took down undefeated Bob and hasn’t looked back since. Led by his Carolina connection of Cam Newton and the Panthers DST, plus the suddenly hot Odell Beckham, Griff won his final five regular season games, picked up David Johnson to fill his roster’s only hole and crushed his two playoff opponents to return back to the title game for a record eighth time.

COLBY’S 2015 SEASON

Sharing a team with Jeff, Colby entered the league hot. He delivered the scoring title in his first season in 2004 and then reached the title game in 2005. However, over the next seven years, Colby proved to be vying for the title of Mr. Inconsistent. He failed to reach the playoffs three times, including 2009, his first season without Jeff drafting the team. Yet, three of the four times he did crash the post-season party, he reached the semifinals.

However, heading into both the 2013 and 2014, Colby put together a pair of his best teams and expectations were high, especially after Calderon won his first championship in 2013 and Colby was handed the title of “best team to not win a title.” He proved the title right, going 8-5 and 9-4 in back-to-back seasons, but failing to escape the quarterfinals both times.

Heading into this season, no one could blame Colby if he fell flat on his ass, as both his first pick (Andrew Luck) and third-round pick (Amel Abdullah) turned out to be massive flops. Colby dropped his first two games of the year, including a pathetic, 940 – 756 showing in a loss to Burrier in week two.

However, behind a rejuvenated Doug Martin (fifth-round pick), free agent pick up, Chris Johnson, a healthy Mike Evans and a variety of quarterbacks (Carson Palmer, Jay Cutler and Andy Dalton) to go along with A.J. Green and Greg Olsen, Colby cruised, winning four out of his next five. However, consistency became a problem down the stretch, as it seemed every week someone failed to hit 50 points in a game. Colby dropped four out of five. All four loses were to playoff teams, while the only win was against Molly.

Still, despite the struggles, 6-7 was good enough to not only get Colby back into the playoffs for a third straight year, it got him as high as the 6-seed. Heading into the quarters, I had Colby the favorite over 3-seeded Eric and he delivered with a solid 359-point win. Then he shocked the world by taking down the 1-seed, scoring champ, defending champ and overall nice guy, Bob, to reach his second career title game.

COLBY VS GRIFF…2015 SCHEDULE WeeksGRIFF COOMERCOLBY HALL Week 1Rich Calderon1,056 - 1,363LostBob Castrone1,272 - 1,683Lost Week 2Robio Murray1,952 - 1,363WonRichard Burrier756 - 940Lost Week 3Molly Coomer1,689 - 1,347WonRich Calderon1,792 - 1,234Won Week 4Richard Burrier1,008 - 1,803LostMatt Neatock1,078 - 1,047Won Week 5Jeff Greenblatt1,656 - 1,276WonEric Vozzola1,220 - 1,643 Lost Week 6Don Vozzola1,244 - 1,030WonRobio Murray1,537 - 1,351Won Week 7Rob Masterson1,046 - 1,587LostJeff Greenblatt1,798 - 1,195Won Week 8Matt Neatock1,467 - 1,772LostDon Vozzola1,414 - 1,340Won Week 9Bob Castrone1,741 - 1,670WonRob Masterson1,383 - 1,607Lost Week 10Colby Hall1,639 - 1,045WonGriff Coomer1,045 - 1,639Lost Week 11Eric Vozzola1,275 - 1,054WonMolly Coomer1,835 - 1,083Won Week 12Rich Calderon1,877 - 1,442WonBob Castrone1,221 - 1,617Lost Week 13Robio Murray1,558 - 1,293WonRichard Burrier1,529 - 1,681Lost Quarterfinals#7 Jeff Greenblatt1,847 - 997Won#3 Eric Vozzola1,563 - 1,204Won Semifinals#5 Matt neatock1,962 - 1,335Won#1 Bob Castrone1,398 - 1,317Won

COLBY vs GRIFF…A BRIEF HISTORY

Overall, Griff leads the series, 11-6. It started off strangely, as Colby actually won their first three regular season meetings (between 2004-2006), but Griff always got him back, defeating him twice in the playoffs during those years. In 2007, Griff got his first regular season win over Colby, but then CBS failed to match these two up in both 2008 and 2009. Griff would go on to win the next two, before Colby took care of business in the 2011 quarterfinals. After splitting their next two, Colby would sweep Griff in the regular season, but lost to him in the playoffs. That win for Coomer would begin a six-game winning streak over Mr. Hall that would include a fourth playoff victory in 2014.

COLBY vs GRIFF…A PLAYOFF HISTORY

This is where it gets fun. Since 2004, these two have faced off in our post-season a stunning five times. In the 2004 quarterfinals, as the 8-seed, Colby nearly pulled off the upset, losing to the 1-seed by just 47 points. Colby would lose to Bob in the title game that year. The following year, Griff would get back to the title game, but this time Colby joined him. Griff would crush Colby (see below), earning his first championship.

Fast-forward to 2011 and once again, Colby and Griff would face off in the quarterfinals. As the 4-seed, Colby crushed Griff, 2,197 – 1,227, earning his first post-season win over his Florida-based foe. Colby would lose the following week to the eventual champ, Bob. Two seasons later, Colby would sweep Griff in the regular season, but proving it’s tough to beat a team three times in one year, 5-seeded Griff crushed it, beating Colby in the quarterfinals, 2,067 – 1,499. Griff would reach the title game again, losing to Calderon that year.

In 2014, the roles were reversed, as Griff swept Colby in their two match ups. However, it was Colby who was the 2-seed, while Griff needed a late-season four-game winning streak to squeeze back into the playoffs. Sadly for Colby, Griff was the one guy he didn’t want to face, as he lost again to Griff, 1,626 – 1,208. Colby would lose only five games that season and three were to Griff. Overall, Griff is 4-1 against Colby in our post-season.

COLBY vs GRIFF…EVERY SINGLE GAME IN TABLE-FORM. YearMatch UpYearMatch Up YearMatch Up Career Record - Griff leads series, 11-6 | Post-Season - Griff leads the series, 4-1 | Current Streak: Griff has won five in a row. 2004Week 11 - Colby beat Griff, 1,784 - 1,433 Quarterfinals - #1 Griff beat #8 Colby, 1,396 - 1,349 2005Week 10 - Colby beats Griff, 1,593 - 1,427 Finals - #4 Griff beats #7 Colby, 1,882 - 7392006Week 9 - Colby beats Griff, 1,371 - 886 2007Week 8 - Griff beats Colby, 1,500 - 1,1042008No game2009 No game 2010 Week 4 - Griff beats Colby, 1,602 - 1,4202011Week 5 - Griff beats Colby, 1,330 - 1,007 Quarterfinals - #5 Colby beats #4 Griff, 2,197 - 1,2272012Week 8 - Griff beats Colby, 1,319 - 1,190 2013Week 2 - Colby beats Griff, 1,196 - 944 Week 13 - Colby beats Griff, 1,540 - 1,439 Quarterfinals - #5 Griff beats #4 Colby, 2,067 - 1,4992014 Week 1 - Griff beat Colby, 1,673 - 1,365 Week 12 - Griff beat Colby, 1,878 - 1,509 Quarterfinals - #7 Griff beat #2 Colby, 1,626 - 1,2082015Week 10 - Griff beat Colby, 1,639 - 1,045

2005 TITLE GAME…AN ORAL HISTORY

First, before we even begin to look ahead to this week’s title game match up, we’d be remiss to not take a walk back in time, exactly one decade ago, to the 2005 championship when these same two teams faced off for the mug…

2005 was a different time in Robioland. We had divisions and neither Griff nor Colby won their respected division. Griff stumbled out of the gate that year, when he lost his first two games and four out of the first six, despite having a pretty good backfield that featured first-round keeper Shaun Alexander and 14th overall pick, LaMont Jordan. However, when Priest Holmes went down and out for the year in Kansas City, Larry Johnson stepped in and Griff’s backfield became a record-shattering backfield. He would finish the regular season 6-1, losing only to Colby in week ten. Behind a trio of weekly high scores, Griff would cruise to the scoring title (his first and only league scoring title). Unfortunately for him, at 8-5, he finished one game behind Don for the division and had to settle for the 4-seed (as we gave the three division winners the top three seeds back then).

Despite being led by Tiki Barber (who he got in a trade the previous season), Colby also struggled out of the gate, dropping four out of five. He would split his next two (beating me, losing to Molly), but at 2-5, looked like a long-shot to reach the playoffs. However, Colby suddenly got hot and took four out of his next five and heading into the final week, sat at 6-6, tied with Eric, with David and Calderon one game back. However, despite losing to Burrier in that final game, Colby was in good shape with points and it didn’t matter that both David and Calderon won and tied him at 6-7. Yes, head-t0-head was the first tiebreaker back then, but since he and David didn’t face off, points were what mattered and Colby beat them all in points. Eric would end up losing to Griff, which knocked him out of the playoffs and secured the 7-seed for Colby, which in the end, knowing what we know now, hurt Colby. I’ll explain in a bit.

In what turned out to be a crazy post-season that saw the top three seeds all go down without putting up much of a fight, the 4-seeded Griff crushed Molly in the quarterfinals, while Colby pulled off the all-too-common 7-seed upset by taking down 2-seed Matt. The following week, Griff escaped with a 93-point victory over the 8-seed, David. It would be the third straight year and fifth time in eight seasons of this league’s existence that Griff crashed the title game. On the other side of bracket, Colby took down the 6-seed, Robio in a high scoring, 1,880 – 1,540 game, earning his first trip to the title game in just his second season as Jeff’s partner.

Note: If Griff didn’t beat Eric in that final week, then Colby would have been the 8-seed. In that scenario, he would have beaten top-seeded Don, then he would have beaten the 4-seed Griff in the semis and would have most likely faced me in the finals. Instead, he got Griff…

In the championship game, I had Griff as the favorite, behind his brutal backfield of Shaun Alexander and Larry Johnson. The former was one of two first-team All-Robio players (Antonio Gates was the other), while the latter was one of two second-team players (Jay Feely was the second). Colby had a pair of first-team players as well; Tiki Barber and Steve Smith. By a vote 5-4, the league picked Colby to pull out the win. The league was wrong.

Griff earned the league’s largest title game ass-kicking as Colby’s squad completely failed to show. Only two players, led by Jake Delhomme’s 256, managed to break 200 points (Barber finished with 212). Fellow first-team All-Robio player, Steve Smith, finished with just 34 points. The Titans D scored only 33, tight end Ben Troupe was shutout and kicker, Lawrence Tynes scored -20.

For Griff, his backfield dominated. Johnson and Alexander alone defeated Colby’s entire team, scoring a stunning 832 points (remember, this is an era when we counted -2 for each touch). Trent Green added 281 and Hines Ward chipped in 256, leading Griff to his first championship, 1,882 – 739. The 1,105-point margin of victory is still the 19th largest in league history and the largest for a title game.

THE GAME

Okay, enough of the history, let’s talk about the final game of the 2015 season.

POTENTIAL LINEUPS PositionWELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES (GRIFF)QUARTER POUNDERS (COLBY) QuarterbackCam Newton - CARat Falcons (#13)368 PPGCarson Palmervs Packers (#15)308 PPG Running BackDavid Johnsonvs Packers (#9)166 PPGDoug Martinvs Bears (#21)235 PPG Running BackAdrian Petersonvs Giants (#23)249 PPGDarren Sprolesvs Redskins (#20)98 PPG Wide ReceiverDeSean Jacksonvs Eagles (#31) 148 PPGMike Evansvs Bears (#9)172 PPG Wide ReceiverMichael Floydvs. Packers (#12)138 PPGAlshon Jefferyat Buccaneers (#22)206 PPG Tight EndGary Barnidgeat Chiefs (#1)171 PPGGreg Olsenat Falcons (#29)178 PPG Place KickerJosh Brownat Vikings (#18)105 PPGMason Crosbyat Cardinals (#19)88 PPG Defense/STPanthersat Falcons (#14)163 PPGTexansat Titans (#29)119 PPG Key Bench PlayerEmmanuel Sanders, WRvs Bengals (#11)174 PPGWillie Snead, WRvs Jaguars (#15)146 PPG Key Bench PlayerCharles Sims, RBvs Bears (#26)135 PPGBills, DSTvs Cowboys (#31)86 PPG

POSITION-BY-POSITION DEEP THOUGHTS

QUARTERBACKS | CAM NEWTON (Griff) vs. CARSON PALMER (Colby)

One thing is for sure…the quarterback spot is not going to be a weak spot for either team. Of late, Cam Newton has been a fantasy god, shredding defenses with ease. He has 19 touchdowns to just one interception in his last four, throwing five touchdowns in a game three times. That’s mind boggling. He’s coming off a 666-pt game, two weeks after a 578-point game. If I had to pick one player to start for me in a one game season, Newton is the guy I’m picking.

Of course, Carson Palmer isn’t too bad either. In fact, while Newton is currently the highest scoring quarterback in the league, Palmer is fourth (he actually earned third-team All-Robio this season). His receiving core is loaded (Larry Fitzgerald, Michael Floyd and John Brown) and his last remaining running back has excellent hands. Sure Palmer’s numbers aren’t as explosive as Cam’s (Palmer’s best game is 460, while Newton has done that four times just in the last seven weeks). A lot of that has to do with a lack of touchdowns, as the Cardinals are committed to running the ball when they get close. While Palmer hasn’t thrown an interception since week 11, he’s produced just five touchdowns in that time.

When you look at the match ups these two will face, the advantage seems like it favors Newton. The Falcons D is worst against the pass and Atlanta as a team has been truly awful lately. In fact, just two weeks ago, Newton had 265 yards and three touchdowns against the Falcons. He could have done a lot more, but he only ran for four yards as the Panthers took their foot off the gas once they were up 31-0. As for Palmer, he has the Packers coming to town. They’re pretty decent against the pass. They haven’t given up a 300-yard passing game since week eight and have recorded 15 sacks in their last five games.  However, they will probably be without Sam Shields (concussion), the team’s best corner.

For Colby, he’s probably not going to win this battle. The key is to not let Cam run away with it. I doubt Newton will produce back-to-back 600 points games. If he scores in the high 400’s, then Colby needs Palmer to deliver a mid-300 game. ADVANTAGE: Cam Newton (Griff)

RUNNING BACK ONE | DAVID JOHNSON (Griff) vs. DOUG MARTIN (Colby)

It didn’t surprise me that David Johnson took off once he got the starting gig. There is a reason why I drafted him in three fantasy leagues (of course I cut him in all three because I have the patience of a teenage boy with a Gift Certificate to the Bunny Ranch). However, I didn’t foresee the stats this dude is delivering. In three games as a starter, he has scored 1,184 fantasy points/394 points per game. He’s making what Devonta Freeman did earlier in the season look like child’s play. He’s gotten at least 24 touches in every game because the Cardinals’ coaching staff has no faith in anyone else with both Chris Johnson and Andre Ellington out.

Much like Palmer vs. Cam above, Doug Martin has been pretty damn good and could easily be the best player on the field for either team if David Johnson wasn’t playing so out of this world. Martin has 1,300 yards rushing this season (over 1,500 total) and has become a 200-point machine, despite the fact his backup, Chris Sims, gets his touches. Martin has broken 200 points seven times since week four and has struggled to produce (failing to hit 100) just twice all season and not since week nine. If Martin has a fault, it’s that he’s sort of disappeared from the passing game. He’s had just four catches in his last five, after catching 18 in his previous six contests.

Like Palmer above, we know what Martin will do. While he had a trio of monster games earlier in the year, he’s had just one game over 240 in his last nine. This gives Johnson the advantage, despite the fact he will be facing a tougher defense (the Packers are 9th against the run, while Martin faces the 21st rated Bears rush defense). Like at quarterback, Griff has the advantage, but Colby needs to just keep it close and minimize the damage. ADVANTAGE: David Johnson (Griff)

RUNNING BACK TWO | ADRIAN PETERSON (Griff) vs. DARREN SPROLES (Colby)

Running back two, or what is really the flex position, is the X-factor of the game. For Griff, he’s got Adrian Peterson, a first-team All-Robio running back. Yet, he failed to finish his last game due to an ankle injury. Word is, he’s not limping around and is expected to play this week. That’s good enough for me.

The fact is, even a Purple Jesus running at around 80% is still a pretty damn good option. Peterson is a near lock for 100 yards and a touchdown, as the Vikings tend to feed him the ball. He’ll also be facing a Giants D that has been pretty bad against the run lately. They gave up 171 rushing yards to a Carolina team starting a third-string running back. In fact, they’ve given up 100 yards rushing or more in ten out of their last 12 games.

Colby, as of this writing, has made the big move of the week and benched A.J. Green for Darren Sproles. First, let’s touch on the benching. A.J. Green hurt his back on Saturday, played Sunday, but only caught one ball for 36 yards and sat out the second half because the Bengals blew out the 49ers. For now, he’s questionable for Monday night, but this game is important for Cincinnati and it’s hard to see their best player not playing. Of course, the team they will be playing is pretty good at playing defense.

Green and the Bengals will be heading into Denver to face the #1 rated pass defense in the league and he’ll be up against what we thought was one of the league’s best cornerbacks in Chris Harris. However, Harris just got trucked by the Steelers’ Antonio Brown, who caught 16 passes for 189 yards and two scores. While Harris could be coming into the game feeling rattled after last week’s performance, I expect a nice bounce back game from the Broncos D. They’ll be facing a quarterback making only his second start of his career and they’ll make passing the ball difficult. Look for Peterson to put up some nice stats in a Minnesota win over the Giants and he’ll more than double-up Green in fantasy points.

I still think by Sunday, Colby will have Green back into his lineup, even though he’s got a tough game ahead, but for now Darren Sproles gets the starting nod. I’m pretty confident that the Eagles running back has never been in anyone’s starting lineup this season. Don had him for most of the season, cut him in week nine and wasn’t picked up by Colby until last week.

Clearly, Colby has been influenced by CBS, who has projected that Sproles will score 216 points this week. It’s an oddly high number when you consider Sproles has only reached that total once all season and that was way back in week one, when the Eagles were down three touchdowns to the Falcons at halftime.

The reality is, the Eagles’ backfield has really become a two-man team of Ryan Mathews and Sproles. Murray only got two carries last week (what a fucking bust, am I right?). Yet, it’s not like Sproles has been lighting things up with Murray on the bench. He’s broken 50 yards rushing just once and he hasn’t had 50 yards receiving since week one. He has just two touchdowns all season long. I guess CBS figures the red hot Redskins will blow open the game early against the Eagles Sunday night and Philly will be in comeback mode early and Sproles will find openings in the passing game against subpar defense that’s playing prevent. BIG ADVANTAGE: ADRIAN PETERSON (Griff)

WIDE RECEIVER ONE | DESEAN JACKSON (Griff) vs. MIKE EVANS (Colby) Prior to Monday afternoon, Griff easily had the best wide receiver on either team, but then Odell Beckham lost his shit against the Panthers and rightfully was suspended for next week’s game. It’s a huge blow for Team Florida. He’s a record-setting receiver, who was playing his best football, averaging 395 points per game in his three before facing Carolina. Hell, he scored 212 against the league’s best corner, producing seven straight 200-pt games until he was suspended.

Now he’s gone and in comes in DeSean Jackson (for now over Emmanuel Sanders). Jackson  does have the much better match up. He’s going back home to face a very bad Eagles pass defense with one of the hotter quarterbacks in the league. Let’s be honest, a D-Jax with a chip on his shoulder is a very dangerous receiver. He is also coming off his best performance of the season, producing 366 points and has scored a touchdown in four out of his last five games as Kirk Cousins has heated up.

Having said all that, DeSean has really only had two great games (200+points) all season long (he was hurt for the first half of the season). Emmanuel Sanders has a better “season’s worth” track record. He nearly earned an All-Robio award, as the top receiver in Denver, but he’s been maddeningly inconsistent since Peyton Manning was benched. In his last four games, he’s broken 100 yards receiving twice, including a stunning 10 catch, 181 yard and one touchdown performance this past week against the Steelers. Yet, in weeks 13-14, he scored a total of 52 fantasy points. For now, Griff has gone with Jackson, but I’m sure mentally he has flipped back and forth on this one.

For Colby, there is no riddle to solve, as Mike Evans is arguable his best receiver right now, as long as Tampa falls behind (more on that in a bit). After starting the season dealing with an injury, Evans was fantastic for a month, where he averaged 251 points per game between weeks 7-10. However, over his next four he failed to hit 200, despite remaining the top target for Jamie Winston. Then last Thursday against the Rams, his team fell behind by a lot, went into comeback mode and was targeted 17 times and finished with 314 fantasy points.

And there in lies the key. Evans’ stats tend to depend on how poorly the Bucs are doing. The worst they do, the better he does. His four best outings this year are four games his team lost (and were often trying to rally from a deficit). In six loses this season, Evans was targeted 74 times (12.3 per game), but was targeted just 54 times in his other eight games (6.75 per game).

Against the Bears, the game is sort of a  toss up. The coaching staff will want to run the ball against the 21st rated run defense and if they do have success and take a lead, then Evans will not get the targets Colby needs him to get. The Pounders should be praying for a 21-point Bears lead, so Evans can get his stats. ADVANTAGE: NONE

WIDE RECEIVER TWO | MICHAEL FLOYD (Griff) vs. ALSHON JEFFERY (Colby)

Let’s get this position started with Colby’s guy, because he’s a sure-thing. Jeffery spent the first half of the season hurt, but since returning, Jay Cutler has continued to look his way. He has had double digit targets in six of his eight games since returning from injury and that includes a pair of 15 target games. The only two bad games he has had have come against superior pass defenses, including last week against Minnesota where Jeffery only caught one ball (although that one catch was a touchdown).

Now I have a theory about stars coming off bad games and it’s basically….I love stars coming off bad games. I’m a big believer in the rebound game, especially against weak foes and I expect Jeffery to get double digit targets, 100 yards and a TD this week.

For Griff, he’s actually struggled to pick the right guy to fill in as his WR2. Last week was no different, as Floyd scored just 140, while Jackson and Sanders exploded. Yet, Floyd seems like the safer choice, as neither Jackson or Sanders has been a model of consistency lately, so rolling with both and benching Floyd seems risky.

Since he got healthy, Floyd has been Carson Palmer’s favorite target, but that doesn’t really say much, as Palmer loves to toss it around to anyone and everyone. Still, Floyd has produced five 200-pt games in his last seven contests and he’s the only Cardinals receiver who can lay claim to that. Of course, speaking of Palmer, the only other downside to Floyd is that any touchdown he earns, goes to Colby’s staring quarterback, so there’s that. ADVANTAGE: ALSHON JEFFERY (Colby)

TIGHT END | GARY BARNIDGE (Griff) vs. GREG OLSEN (Colby)

I’ve done a lot of talking about targets so far and I’m not going to stop now because Greg Olsen leads all tight ends with 116 targets. Cam Newton loves to throw to him and Olsen loves to catch them. The thing about Olsen is that there are no off days. He’s caught at least 50 yards worth of balls in 10 straight games. The only problem he’s had lately is getting looks in the red zone. He’s scored just one touchdown in his last four games. That should change this week as he faces the Falcons defense. They’re 29th in points allowed by an opponent’s tight end and they have allowed plenty of red zone opportunities of late.

For Griff, Barnidge’s match up is much tougher. In fact, it couldn’t get much tougher as the Chiefs defense is number one against the tight end. Griff said he briefly flirted with benching him, but decided there simply wasn’t anyone better. Also, isn’t Barnidge one of those guys you simply can’t bench? While I do believe Colby has the clear advantage here with Olsen, I don’t think all is lost for Griff. Let me explain.

Go look over the Chiefs schedule and oddly enough they really have avoided facing any of the league’s best tight ends. Of the top-10 tight ends in this league, Kansas City only faced two of them (Richard Rogers was not the Packers starting TE when they faced off). Of those two, Eifert had 69 yards in their one game. Antonio Gates faced the Chiefs twice. He was held to one catch in their first game, but had over 75 yards in their second. Hell, Maxx Williams, the Ravens third string tight end had over 60 yards against KC last week. My point…I wouldn’t expect a great game, but it’s not like Barnidge will get shut out. ADVANTAGE: Greg Olsen (Colby)

PLACE KICKER | JOSH BROWN (Griff) vs. MASON CROSBY (Colby) Let’s keep this short, so we can wrap this up and get back to our families. Josh Brown made his first 25 field goals this season, but has missed two out of his last four. Also, with no Odell Beckham, he’s not expected to get a ton of extra point attempts against a decent Vikings defense. Also, did I mention that it’s going to be outdoors in Minnesota and the weather forecast calls for 22 degrees tempature?

Meanwhile, Crosby has been known to miss a field goal or two (in fact, he’s missed two out of his last five), but in a high scoring affair with the Cardinals, he’s almost guaranteed two field goal attempts and three extra point tries. Did I mention that he’ll be kicking in a dome this weekend? ADVANTAGE: MASON CROSBY (Colby)

DEFENSE/SPECIAL TEAMS | PANTHERS (Griff) vs. TEXANS (Colby) Heading into the playoffs, Griff and Colby walked into the post-season with completely different strategies with defense. Griff showed up with just the Carolina Panthers and a ‘don’t give a fuck’ attitude about it. Colby rolled in with three, clearly planning on rotating one or more into the lineup based on match ups.

For Griff, I can’t blame him. The Panthers defense, until the Giants game, were killing it, with three 300-pt games over a four-game period. Hell, even against the Giants they were up 35-7 midway through the third when they took their foot off the gas. This week against the Falcons, they’re facing a team they shutout just two weeks ago, until they gave up some garbage points at the end.

On the season, they’re second only to the Denver Broncos. They’re fifth against the pass, sixth against the run, first in interceptions, second in fumble recoveries and fourth in sacks. They’ll be facing a sinking ship in Atlanta. The Falcons give up a ton of sacks and have turned it over 13 times in their last five games (including nine interceptions). Their one weapon is Julio Jones and he’ll be guarded by the league’s best cornerback again this week.

Colby has rolled with the Jets the previous two weeks with very good results, but with the Patriots coming to down, it’s time for them to take their spot on the bench. Colby has two choices. He has a Bills defense that’s been good this year, but coming off a brutally bad outing against the Redskins. They’ll be back home against the Cowboys. Even before they announced they would be starting what’s basically their fourth string quarterback, Dallas is 31st in fantasy points scored against defenses.

However, it appears Colby has decided to go with the Texans DST. Since week eight, the Texans have put up some of the best defensive numbers in fantasy, breaking 200 twice and 300 points one time. Sure they’ve struggled when faced with a real offense, but this week against the Titans, they won’t be facing a real offense. Instead, they’ll be on the road facing the 29th worst offense playing a meaningless game with a backup quarterback. SLIGHT ADVANTAGE: TEXANS DST (Colby)

WORTHLESS PREDICTION

As of this writing, CBS has Griff the slight favorite. Now if Adrian Peterson was 100% and Odell Beckham was playing, I’d have Griff as the heavy favorite. For now, I have him as whatever is between heavy and slightly…I guess that would make him just the “favorite.”

Much like 2015, I expect Griff to ride his stud back field. David Johnson and Andre Peterson are rolling, both have good enough match ups and anything less than 500 combined points would be a disappointment in my eyes. Cam Newton will deliver another solid outing, while I love the thought of DeSean Jackson returning to Philly with a massive chip on his shoulder facing an awful Eagles’ pass defense. I think with those four alone, Griff is looking at 1,200 points. Add in decent enough games from his WR2, tight end and defense and I think Griff is going to score some points this week.

Of course, unlike 2005, I expect Colby’s squad to show up as well. 300 from Palmer should happen in a shootout in the desert. Doug Martin is good for 250 and the Texans D should be in beast mode. The issue is, Colby needs to dominate with his receivers, but outside of Jeffery, I expect subdued numbers from Evans and Green (if he plays). Colby will put up points, but come Sunday night (if he’s starting Sproles) or Monday night (if Colby is starting Green), Griff should be holding a 318-point lead and Colby won’t get the points he needs from the flex to pull off the rally.

PREDICTION: GRIFF EARNS HIS SECOND TITLE, 1,718 – 1,520

 TITLE GAME RESULTS PositionWELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLESQUARTER POUNDERS TOTAL POINTS1,7181,520 QuarterbackCam Newton394 pointsCarson Palmer302 points Running BackDavid Johnson294 pointsDoug Martin222 points Running BackAdrian Peterson226 pointsDarren Sproles 120 points Wide ReceiverDeSean Jackson284 pointsMike Evans168 points Wide ReceiverMichael Floyd190 pointsAlshon Jeffery232 points Tight EndGary Barnidge126 pointsGreg Olsen192 points Place KickerJosh Brown60 pointsMason Crosby100 points Defense/STPanthers 144 pointsTexans184 points