Let’s get this shit on! It’s time for the 2014 playoffs to begin. I know, I know, everyone handed the title to Bob a long time ago. I get it. He’s stacked. He’s a winner. He’s Bob. Yet, this is Robioland, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish and what do I always.

It’s just that simple. This is the Robioland post-season. It is madness, baby. 8 Teams! 6 Games! 3 Weeks! Yet, just 1 champion will walk away with a mug.

STATS, STATS…FUCK THAT’S A LOT OF STATS

So, do you like stats?

(1) MUG LIFE vs. (8) THE HYPE IS REAL

2014 RECORD – Bob: 11-2, Burrier: 6-7 2014 SCORING – Bob: 1st, Burrier: 9th BOB CAREER PLAYOFF: 16-6 overall, 8-2 in quarters, 4-4 in the semis, 4-0 in finals, averages 1,478 PPG RICH B CAREER PLAYOFF: 6-8 overall, 3-6 in quarters, 2-1 in semis, 1-1 in finals, averages 1,395 PPG 1-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 22-12 8-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 5-16 1 vs 8 IN QUARTERS: 1-seed leads 11-5

BOB/RICH B THIS SEASON: Back in week three, while the league was starting to learn that Bob was pretty damn good, Burrier will still trying to figure it out, as he fell to the undefeated Mug Life, 1,768 – 1,097. Bob got a trio of 300-point games, led by Larry Fitzgerald’s 388 points, Matt Ryan’s 354 and Le’Veon Bell’s 324. That was also Todd Gurley’s first game of the season, but he barely played and delivered only 28.

For Burrier, Latavius Murray (358 points) and DeAndre Hopkins (262 points) showed up, but no one else did, especially his Viking’s connection. Teddy Bridgewater produced 50 points, while Charles Johnson scored just 18.

BOB/RICH B HISTORY: Bob leads the series 11-6, taking five out of the last six. The only defeat was last year’s classic 2,117 – 2,089 victory in week thirteen.

BOB/RICH B PLAYOFF HISTORY: These two have faced off just once in the post-season. It was back in 2011, when they met in the title game. Despite being just a 7-seed, Bob ended up winning his second straight title thanks to a 509-point outing from Cam Newton. Jordy Nelson contributed 338, while Steven Jackson (a late season trade pick up) got 202 points. Burrier got 451 points from Drew Brees, but no other starter broke 200, which allowed Bob to win, 1,590 – 1,283.

FUN FACT: Bob will be facing a Rich (either Burrier or a Calderon) for a fifth straight year in the post-season. After beating Burrier in 2011, he faced Calderon in the previous three seasons (all in the quarterfinals), before getting Burrier back this year.

(2) WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES vs. (7) TIJUNA PICNIC

2014 RECORD – Griff: 9-4, Jeff: 6-7 2014 SCORING – Griff: 2nd, Jeff: 8th GRIFF CAREER PLAYOFF: 17-12 overall, 9-4 in quarters, 7-2 in semis, 1-6 in finals, averages 1,351 PPG JEFF CAREER PLAYOFF: 0-2 overall, 0-2 in quarters, 0-0 in semis, 0-10 in finals, averages 1,052 PPG 2-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 13-14 7-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 18-13 2 vs 7 IN QUARTERS: 7-seed is a popular upset pick, going 10-6 in round one.

GRIFF/JEFF THIS SEASON: Griff had little trouble with Jeff back in week five, beating him 1,656 – 1,276, which was made more impressive by the fact that he did it without Cam Newton, Adrian Peterson and Panthers DST (bye weeks) and DeSean Jackson (injured), plus his kicker was shutout. He ended up getting huge numbers from Odell Beckham (308 points), Gary Barnidge (338 points) and Charles Sims (272 points). Jeff got a trio of 200-point games (Drew Brees, Gio Bernard and Brandin Cooks), but this game is best remembered for the one that cost him Jamaal Charles, who tore his ACL.

GRIFF/JEFF TEAM HISTORY: Overall, Griff leads the series 6-3 and has taken four out of the last five meetings.

GRIFF/JEFF PLAYOFF HISTORY: Because Jeff has not really had a lot of experience in the post-season, these two have never met in the playoffs. In fact, these two couldn’t have more opposite resumes in the post-season. Jeff has only appeared in two games and has never managed to pull out a win. Meanwhile, Griff has 29 career playoff victories (a league high), going 17-12, attending seven title games, winning one championship (2005).

(3) JOHNNY HANCOCK vs. (6) QUARTER POUNDERS

2014 RECORD – Eric: 9-4, Colby: 6-7 2014 SCORING – Eric: 3rd, Colby: 4th ERIC CAREER PLAYOFF: 2-4 overall, 1-3 in quarters, 1-0 in semis, 0-1 in finals, averages 1,382 PPG COLBY CAREER PLAYOFF: 5-8 overall, 4-4 in quarters, 1-3 in semis, 0-1 in finals, averages 1,405 PPG 3-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 20-14 6-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 5-15 3 vs 6 IN QUARTERS: The 3-seed is as good as the 1-seed in round one, going 11-5

ERIC/COLBY THIS SEASON: Back in week five, Eric improved to 4-1, as Colby fell below .500 after the Hancock’s walked away with a 1,643 – 1,220 victory. Tom Brady led Eric with 318 points, while he got a solid 300 from Tyler Eifert and a surprise 292 from Allen Hurns. Colby’s Doug Martin led all scorers with 496 points, but struggled with no Andrew Luck and Greg Olsen. Ameel Abdullah really laid an egg, scoring just 20 fantasy points.

ERIC/COLBY HISTORY: Colby leads the series, 8-5, as Eric’s victory earlier this season ended a two-game losing streak.

ERIC/COLBY PLAYOFF HISTORY: These two have never faced off in the playoffs, as Eric has only been to the post-season four times and both of Eric’s playoff victories came in 2012. Of course Colby hasn’t won a playoff game since 2011, losing to Griff in back-to-back seasons.

(4) DEFLATE MY BALLS VS (5) MY BALL ZACH ERTZ 

2014 RECORD – Rob M: 8-5, Matt: 8-5 2014 SCORING – Rob M: 5th, Matt: 6th ROB M CAREER PLAYOFF: 4-9 overall, 4-5 in quarters, 0-4 in semis, never reached finals, averages 1,486 MATT CAREER PLAYOFF: 8-5 overall, 3-4 in quarters, 3-0 in semis, 2-1 in finals, averages 1,471 4-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 13-13 5-SEED IN PLAYOFFS: 16-15 4 vs 5 IN QUARTERS: Surprisingly, the 5-seed has dominated, taking 11-5 in round one.

ROB M/MATT THIS SEASON: Way back in week three, Matt escaped with a 40-point win, defeating Masterson, 1,387 – 1,347. Matt relied on 448 points from Julio Jones and 205 from the Broncos DST, but no other player managed to cracked 200. Masterson got Randall Cobb’s best game, 386 points vs the Chiefs, plus 238 from Amari Cooper and 258 from Mark Ingram. However, his fate was sealed when Big Ben was knocked out of the game early and delivered only 68 points.

ROB M/MATT HISTORY: Overall, these two have faced off 17 times and Rob has taken nine of them. However, Neatock has won three in a row, including a two-game sweep last season.

ROB M/MATT PLAYOFF HISTORY: This will actually be the second straight year these two will face off in the league’s quarterfinals. Last year as the 3-seed, Matt avoided the upset and beat Rob, 1,471 – 1,099. That win was Matt’s first playoff win since 2009 and propelled him to his third title game, where he eventually lost to Bob. Meanwhile, Rob has just one playoff win since 2007, despite the fact this is his fifth straight year in the post-season.

DEEP PLAYOFF THOUGHTS

#1 MUG LIFE (BOB)

First five-time champion?

HOW HE GOT HERE: By fucking dominating. Coming off the greatest season in Robioland history, Bob has seemly taken over the league with an even better follow-up act this season. He finished the season at 11-2 and his 24-5 record is tied for the best record over a 29-game period. He’s broken 1,500 points eight times this season and 1,400 points a stunning 12 times. His only two defeats was week nine to Griff and that’s when he scored 1,670 points and one meaningless performance this week against the other Coomer. The only slight knock…the two times he struggled to score this season have come in two out of the last three games, so he’s not quite roaring into the post-season.

LOOKING AHEAD: A month ago I could have shipped Bob’s mug out prior to the playoffs even starting and felt confident doing it. Yet, that confidence is gone. Don’t get me wrong, this is still a great team, just look up some of the point totals he’s produced down the stretch. However, I would no longer use the word ‘invincible’.

Mug Life has lost two key players during the second half of the season. First, it was Le’Veon Bell, arguable the best running back in football. Then he lost Rob Gronkowski, the best tight end in football. You don’t lose two fist-team All-Robio players and not feel it in the ass a little. Lamar Miller and Martellus Bennett are good…but they are not Bell/Gronk good.

The other issue was at quarterback. Both Russell Wilson and Matt Ryan are options and Bob will have to make tough decisions. Lately, Wilson has been the better quarterback. In fact, he’s been nothing short of amazing in his last three, plus he has better match ups coming up in the post-season, so this problem might officially solved. NOTE: Ironic, if Wilson eventually leads Bob to a title over Griff. It was Molly who cut Wilson and put him back on the market.

Then of course there is the Todd Gurley factor. For a hot minute he looked like the greatest fantasy player in league history, but he’s cooled lately, failing to hit 100 yards rushing in his last five. Worst yet, he’s about to face a murderers row of run defenses in the next three weeks (Lions, Bucs, Seahawks). The Lions are the worst of that bunch (15th against the run), but if you actually looked at what they’ve done over the last month, it’s scary.

Surprisingly, what was conceived as the weak spot on this team in the preseason is now the strength. Both Brandon Marshall and Larry Fitzgerald are top-five receivers this season and Bob has Dez Bryant sitting there, ready to go 3-wide. I have some concerns about Bryant without Romo, but who says he doesn’t develop some cohesiveness with Matt Cassel over the next couple weeks.

ANALYSTS: Despite what has to look like a negative “looking ahead” write up, Bob’s team is still stacked and it’s hard to see anyone pulling off the upset in either the quarterfinals or semis. Reaching the title game for the fourth time in six seasons should not be a problem and it’s hard to question a man who is a stunning 4-0 in the championship game.

#2 WELCOME 2, FLA ASSHOLES (GRIFF)

Playoff “Pitbull”?

HOW WE GOT HERE: The season got off to a rough start, as he barely cracked 1,000 in a loss to Calderon. In fact, the first eight weeks were riddled with inconsistent play. He was just 4-3, coming off back-to-back losses and failed to hit 1,300 points four times. However, in week nine he stunned the world with a 1,741 – 1,680 point victory over undefeated Bob.

Since then, he hasn’t looked back, finishing the regular season with five straight victories, breaking 1,500 in four of those wins. Heading into the playoffs…he might just be the favorite.

LOOKING AHEAD: I already wrote my thoughts on this team early last week and nothing that has happened has changed my mind. Griff’s team is loaded and it feels like many of his players are peaking at the right time. This team features, count ’em, six All-Robio players, led by Cam Newton at quarterback and Adrian Peterson at running back. Odell Beckham is a top-five receiver, who seems to be hitting his stride, Gary Barnidge is the league’s third best tight end this year and if it wasn’t for injuries, Emmanuel Sanders would probably be Griff’s seventh All-Robio player.

The problem with Griff was at RB2, as he bounced around between a pair of productive backup running backs and going three-wide from time-to-time. Well, David Johnson has filled that hole. He just delivered a 300-pt game in his first start.

Of course, Griff’s team has been remarkably healthy, only losing a game from Sanders, so maybe he’s due to hit a wall. Obviously, injuries can hurt anyone, but Griff in particular does not have a very deep bench. If he had to replace a starter at QB/RB/WR, it would be a major downgrade.

ANALYSTS: I’m saying it again, I got Griff pegged as the favorite heading into the playoffs. It would take a major upset for him to not make it to his eighth title games. Yes, eighth out 17 title games. Pretty amazing.

#3 JOHNNY HANCOCK (ERIC)

Can one title run replace all that losing?

HOW WE GOT HERE: Eric started the season 3-0, crushing it in week two with a 2,071-point game, but getting lucky with a 1,091-point win against his father. A week four match up proved to be his first loss of the season and Eric actually ended up dropping two of three, but after a second three-game winning streak, he sat at a comfortable 7-2, second in the league in both the standings and in points.

Unfortunately a two-game losing streak to Jeff and Matt knocked him out of second place. Yet, he wrapped up the regular season nicely with a pair of wins, as Eric had his first nine win season for his career.

LOOKING AHEAD: This team continues to baffle me. Eric has won all season long and he’s won more game than I could have imagined, yet outside of Tom Brady and Antonio Brown, I don’t think I would replace any other starter with any of mine from my 3-win team (okay, I’d take his kicker over mine).

Of course, Tom Brady and Antonio Brown are both so good, they tend to mask problems elsewhere. The pair have combined for twelve 300-point games this season. The rest of his projected playoff starters have combined for just two. Yes, two.

At running back, Frank Gore has looked his age, which is why three-wide has been an option for Eric. The problem is, his sole running back, T.J. Yeldon has not developed. He’s had just three 200-point games until his 300-pt outburst this weekend. Of course, it’s not all bad. At wide receiver, he has plenty of options next to Brown. Parker is finally getting some playing time and producing, Hurns is a solid option if he’s healthy, but Boldin Watkins probably remains the best option with the right matchup. At tight end, Eric’s got a couple of good options (Chandler and Eifert), plus at defense the Bears have favorable matchups in the post-season.

ANALYSTS: The talent is here to advance and maybe pull off a semifinals upset, but this team could also fall flat and have its season end this weekend.

#4 DEFLATE MY BALLS (ROB M)

With these looks, I don’t need no stinking championship.

HOW WE GOT HERE: Looking to produce a fifth straight winning season, Masterson got off to a solid start, crushing Jeff, breaking 1,500. However, he would fail to earn a victory in his next two against Eric and Matt. Yet, facing three straight teams that would eventually miss the playoffs (Robio, Don, Rich C), Rob took three in a row and then made it four with a solid 1,567 – 1,046 win over Griff.

He was sitting at 5-2 and cruising, but the second half of the season proved to be a bit of a roller coaster, as Rob split his final six games, putting up 1,607 points in a win over Colby in week nine, but barely cracking 1,000 in a defeat one week later.

LOOKING AHEAD: Is it me or has Masterson been an after thought in this league this season? I mean, he’s not easy to forget…just look at that photo of him. It’s certainly not because his team didn’t produce. He has a solid win total and has been a lock for a playoff spot for a while now. He’s got some solid wins, taking down both Griff and Colby and outside of one defeat to Molly, he’s avoided losing to teams below him. He’s sixth in the league in scoring. No shame in that.

The issue is, this just isn’t a very sexy team. Both Mark Ingram and Chris Ivory are All-Robio players, although a lot of that has to do with a lot of big names getting hurt. In fact, if it wasn’t for injuries to players like Le’Veon bell and Jamaal Charles, Rob would not have any All-Robio players worth speaking about.

What we have here is quite simply a good team, who could become great if a couple of things happen. First, the beauty of this squad is that there are no holes. Antonio Gates has been a solid tight end since coming off suspension, while the combination of the Chiefs and Rams DST gives Rob a solid one-two punch at DST. At receiver, Amari Cooper has been better than advertised, although Rob has struggled with consistent play at WR2 with the trio of Jeremy Maclin and John Brown and Randall Cobb. All three can deliver 250 in any game, but all three can all disappear for a full Sunday.

At running back, Chris Ivory just keeps getting the yards and the goal line carries, but it’s Thomas Rawls that has made the difference for Rob. As long as Marshawn Lynch remains hurt, he’s a top-10 back. Yet, for Rob, the quarterback spot is the key. Thanks to Big Ben’s injury struggles this year, he’s had to rely on Eli Manning more than he probably wish he had to. With the receiving talent in Pittsburgh, Roethlisberger is the guy you want to be starting. However, the Steelers have a brutal stretch against tough pass defenses, so Rob will have some tough decisions to make if he advances in the post-season.

ANALYSTS: Getting to the finals for Rob has been impossible since he joined the league in 2002. Hell, getting to the semis has been hard, as he’s done it just once since 2008. His quarterfinals matchup is favorable and the talent is there, so look for a trip back to the semis this season.

#5 MY BALL ZACH ERTZ (MATT)

2009 seems like so long ago.

HOW WE GOT HERE: The season started off nicely, with three straight wins, scoring an impressive 1,687 in week one. However, a week four defeat to Colby would begin a long inconsistent phase in Matt’s season. Occasionally, he would put up some stud stats, scoring 1,772 in a week eight win over Griff and 1,775 in a week 12 win over Don, but that’s really it when it comes to impressive performances. He finished the season going 5-5, winning two in a row just once more and never producing back-to-back 1,400-point games.

LOOKING AHEAD: For a man who prides himself on the late-round steal and the ability to work magic in the add/drop and trade department, Matt is a man riding into the playoffs with only a slightly better team than the one he drafted. Travis Benjamin proved to be a solid pick up, but now he’s hurt. The only other free agent pickup that will have an impact is Julian Thomas, who is finally starting to look like a solid tight end option in Jacksonville.

Yet, Neatock has both personal and match up issues heading into the post-season. First, the continue running back carousel in Green Bay has to be maddening. The Eddie Lacy vs James Starks question has held Matt back all season long and now they have offensive line issues and a third back who is in the mix. Sure, Matt might guess right and get the right Packers back in, but at this point, it’s just a guessing game and that’s not good.

At quarterback, Matt has relied on Philip Rivers and he also has Matt Stafford, who has looked better with the offensive coordinator, yet neither has great match ups in the post-season. In fact, in the quarterfinals, Rivers faces the Chiefs defense, which has produced the best pass defense in the previous six weeks. Stafford will take on the Rams, the league’s third best defense against the pass (although they have looked a lot less impressive lately). Ugh.

Evan the vaunted Broncos DST will have to face a suddenly tough Raiders offense. Yet, the biggest issue is Julio Jones. Matt has relied on the Falcons receiver all season long to deliver monster games. Yet, not only are the Falcons struggling lately, they face the Carolina Panthers not once, but twice during our post-season, which means Julio will have to face the league’s best cornerback twice. Sorry, but Josh Norman doesn’t give up 100-yard games.

ANALYSTS: Last year I had Matt reaching the finals. Yep, I’m that good. However, this squad is not last year’s squad. Not only do I have Matt not going to the finals, I won’t have him surviving the quarterfinals.

#6 QUARTER POUNDERS (COLBY)

Just happy to be here.

HOW WE GOT HERE: The season started off slowly, as Colby stumbled out of the gate, losing to Bob in week one, then scoring only 756 points in a week two defeat to Burrier. He rebounded nicely with a 1,792 – 940 win over the other Rich, then got back to .500 with a less-than-impressive 1,078 – 1,047 win over Matt. A week five loss to Eric dropped him back below .500.

However, he rolled off three straight wins playing through his easiest stretch, scoring 1,537 and 1,798 in back-t0-back games. He would produce a couple more scores down the stretch, but Colby fell backwards into the playoffs, losing four out of his last five. His only win coming against 4-9 Molly. In fact, he went just 3-7 against teams currently in the post-season.

LOOKING AHEAD: Can an injury be a good thing? Sometimes, especially if we feel the backup is better and just needed an opportunity to shine. Chris Johnson’s injury is not one of those moments, since Colby was unable to land David Johnson. However, prior to the injury, Johnson’s numbers had been on the decline. He hadn’t broken 160 since week seven. Now he’s gone and looking at Colby’s roster, it fair to say, outside of quarterback, he has no decisions to make.

Doug Martin is the clear RB1 and he’ll be surrounded by three solid receivers; A.J. Green, Alston Jeffery and Mike Evans. Now I always prefer two backs and two receivers, only because running backs typically are more consistent, but all three of these receivers are capable of monster 300-point games. Add in Greg Olsen, who could be the best TE in football with Gronk and Graham out and that’s a solid foursome worth of hands right there.

At the defensive spot, Colby is loaded. He’s got the Jets, Bills and a suddenly hot Texans DST. All three have favorable matchups this post-season and it might be impossible for him to make a bad decision.

Of course, the tough decisions will be at quarterback. I’ve already talked about Colby’s choices in a previous Tuesday Thought, but the fact remains, here is where one bad decision can cost him a game. Even if Luck can’t be counted on, Colby still has two stud arms, but it’s important that he has the right one in the lineup at the right time.

Besides that, the only real issue is depth. At running back, he has a pair of Lions’ scat backs and William Snead (who is dealing with some injury issues) at WR. Fact is, if someone goes down and Colby has to rely on one of these fellas, I would not feel positive about it.

ANALYSTS: There’s enough talent to pull off the quarterfinals upset. In fact, I’d put Colby as the favorite in round one, despite the lower seed. There is certainly enough talent to put up some monster games and pull off a real upset in the semis. However, this team simply has not been consistent enough to prove to me that it can beat Bob/Griff in back-to-back weeks (assume that’s the route he’d need to take).

#7 TIJUANA PICNIC (JEFF)

2014 Robioland Baseball Champion

HOW WE GOT HERE: The year began much like how every day in Jeff’s life begins…losing…to both Masterson and Neatock in a pair of uninspiring performances. However, he took care of business against the league’s two worst teams, beating both Don and myself easily. When the schedule got tougher though, the wins stop coming. Jeff would drop three straight. Yet, despite sitting at 2-5, Jeff was actually still a playoff team, because 2015 delivered some really bad teams.

Wins in week nine and ten against struggling Molly and Burrier failed to impress, although a 16-point win over Eric in week ten certainly did. It put Jeff back at .500 with three weeks to go. All he needed was one more win and the playoff spot was his. However, he fell to Calderon and struggled against Masterson the following week. Suddenly he was back two games below .500.

Yet, heading into the last week he was virtually a playoff lock, thanks to the continuing struggles of the two Rich’s. In the end, he beat Matt in week 13 and earned the 7-seed. He finished 8th in scoring, breaking 1,500 just once all season.

LOOKING AHEAD: When it comes to player personal, no playoff team has been more of challenge. Jeff has had to deal with a trio of major busts from his Saints connection (Brees, Cooks) and of course C.J. Anderson. He’s lost not only his two best players to injury (Jamaal Charles, Keneen Allen), but those two were both first-team All-Robio talents. He’s continue to work through it, continuing to put together a quality team. He was able to get Andy Dalton early, which eventually got him Charcandrick West. He also added Jay Cutler, Kamar Aiken and Delanie Walker…all three have helped in the win column.

However, for Jeff to have any success, I.E. his first success in the post-season, he’s going to need some of those drafted flops to show up. Drew Brees has actually put up a couple of decent games lately and has a very favorable schedule in our playoffs. Secondly, Brandin Cooks has finally showed signs of being a legit WR1 and also will enjoy that easier post-season schedule. Lastly, there’s C.J. Anderson. With Peyton Manning on the pine, the Broncos have run the ball well and Anderson has looked better. Will Jeff trust him this post-season? We shall see, especially since he’s dealing with an ankle injury. He does have both Gio Bernard and Jon Stewart. Neither is great, but both are reliable.

ANALYSTS: With the right match ups, Jeff can compete with just about anyone. It’s just tough too see how he advances with the team he has to face in the quarterfinals.

#8 THE HYPE IS REAL (RICH B)

You know, I use to be good at this.

HOW WE GOT HERE: It’s the tail of two seasons. Through six weeks, Burrier was arguable the best team. He was 5-1, getting lucky in week two with a 940 – 756 win over Colby, but mostly dominating, averaging 1,636 PPG between weeks 4-6, earning a pair of weekly high scores. He could have had three in a row if he hadn’t benched DeVonta Freeman for some unknown reason in week six.

Yet, struggling with injured running backs took a toll, as Rich would drop six straight games, failing to break 900 in four games. It was a stunning collapse for a guy who was just 5-1 and second in scoring. Heading into the final week of the season, he was barely holding off Calderon for that final playoff spot. Luckily, his backfield was healthy and cruised to his best performances in months, beating Colby 1,681 – 1,529 victory. He sealed up a playoff spot, becoming just the second person to lose six in a row in a season and still make the post-season.

LOOKING AHEAD: Looking over Burrier’s roster, sure there are places he could have improved. Michael Crabtree is a decent-at-best second receiver (he did manage one 336-pt game five weeks back) and both the tight end (Davis/Clay) and DST have been inconsistent at best, but let’s be honest, there are pointmakers on this team.

Tyrod Taylor at quarterback has broken 300 points five times, including back-to-back 400-pt games. If he hadn’t gotten hurt and missed two weeks, he would be a top-eight quarterback. At wide receiver, DeAndre Hopkins is a second-team All-Robio player. However, the key to all of it is at running back. Before injuries kicked Burrier’s backfield’s ass, he potentially had two first-team All-Robio players. That’s never happened before. Matt Forte was averaging 250 PPG before missing three games. At least by scoring 306 points this past week he maybe showed he was getting his sea legs back.

Devonta Freeman had one of the greatest months of football once he became the starter, averaging 483 points per game over four weeks. However, he clearly wasn’t going to keep up those numbers. Since then, he average a still solid 247 PPG until he got hurt. In the one game he played since the injury, he delivered just a shitty 84-pt performance. The problem moving forward is that the Falcons offense has become a train wreck and I’m not confident that Freeman is an elite back right now, especially with the Carolina Panthers on the schedule twice in the next three. Maybe Rich goes Latavis Murray, but you know how I feel about teams forced to make decisions in the playoffs.

ANALYSTS: Healthy, Burrier is a dangerous eight seed and yes, he’s capable of beating Bob and giving him a taste of his old medicine. However, there’s still a reason why this team failed to scored 900 four times in the last six weeks. I see him giving Bob a scare, but that is all.

ROBIO’S WORTHLESS PREDICTIONS

QUARTERFINALS: 

(1) MUG LIFE OVER (8) THE HYPE IS REAL Despite Bob’s recent struggles and the fact that Burrier’s backfield is healthy, I’m betting on the one-seed advancing. Bob has his quarterback figured out and the new offensive coordinator in St. Louis will get the ball to Todd Gurley 30 times.

(4) DEFLATE MY BALLS OVER (5) ZACH ERTZ MY BALLS Matt continues to start the wrong Packers running back and struggles to get 200 from both his backs this week.

(6) QUARTER POUNDERS over (3) JOHNNY HANCOCK Gotta pick an upset. Might as well go with the fourth highest scoring team, as both Sammy Watkins and T.J. Yeldon come back down to earth this week for Eric.

(2) WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES OVER (7) TIJUANA PICNIC A 2,000-point game in the quarterfinals is becoming the norm. My money is on Griff doing it this week against Jeff, who will struggle to hit 1,250.

SEMIFINALS

(1) MUG LIFE OVER (6) QUARTER POUNDERS If Colby won this one I would not call it an upset, but look for that old Bob magic to come back and propel him back to the finals.

WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES OVER (4) DEFLATE MY BALLS If I keep calling Griff the favorite, I’m certainly not going to have him losing to a guy who has never advanced past the semifinals.

FINALS

(2) WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES OVER (1) MUG LIFE Last year I was pretty damn accurate with my predictions. I said Matt would be within striking distance heading into Monday night (true). I said he would be just a few points behind going into the fourth quarter (true, he was down one). I said it would be a struggle to overcome that small deficit (true). I also said he would overcome that on the final Demaryius Thomas reception (not true, as Thomas was called for a penalty on his last reception).

Matchups are everything in the playoffs and Griff’s stars have some cupcake foes to face. Cam Newton in the dome in Atlanta, David Johnson at home against Green Bay, Adrain Peterson at home against the Giants and Odell Beckham facing the Vikings. These four will put up 1,500 points by themselves. However, Griff will struggle to get points from WR2, TE, the kicker (stuck kicking outdoors in Minnesota) and even the Panthers DST, who I expect to face a rejuvenated Falcons offense.

As for Bob, I expect the opposite. Russell Wilson always stumbles against the Rams and Todd Gurley will face the league’s top run defense. However, Larry Fitzgerald and Brandon Marshall will dominate in important home games, the Bengals DST will shutdown the Broncos and by then I expect Rob Gronkowski to be back and angry.

Heading into Monday night, Griff will hold a 1,844 – 1,710 lead over Bob, but Castrone will have Brandon McManus going that night. The Broncos kicker will kick a pair of field goals in the first half, getting Bob back to within 64 points. In the second, the Broncos score a TD, which leads to an extra point. Heading into the fourth, Bob is down just 54 points and the opportunity presents itself. Down 23-13 to the Bengals, Denver has the ball, down 10, with five minutes to go. They need a quick field goal and a touchdown. With Cincinnati falling back into a prevent defense, the Broncos get down to the 28-yard line. That’s bad news for Bob, because he needs at least a 50-yard attempt (70 points) to get the points he needs.

Luck shines a bright line on him though, as the Broncos get a holding call, get moved back to the 38-yard line. On third-down, Brock Osweiler throws an incompletion and it’s fourth down with under two to play. Out trots McManus to try a 55-yard field goal. He’s made five 50 yarders this season, but none since week eight. The pressure is on. Home field advantage in the AFC is on the line. The second-year kicker lines up, boots it…it’s long enough, it’s…….wide right. Ball game. Bob loses 1,844 – 1,680. Griff wins his second career title.

OTHER WORTHLESS PREDICTIONS

I’m not the only non-playoff team with an opinion. Here are Eric, Jeff and Don’s predictions (Note: they did not see mine).

PREDICTIONS FROM THE NON-PLAYOFF TEAMS RICH CALDERON "The GOD Edition" DON VOZZOLA QUARTERFINALSQUARTERFINALS (8) Rich B over (1) Bob (4) Rob M over (5) Matt (6) Colby over (3) Eric (2) Griff over (7) Jeff(1) Bob over (8) RICH B (4) Matt over (5) ROB M (3) ERIC over (6) Colby (2) Griff over (7) Jeff RICH'S DEEP THOUGHTS: - Burrier because God can't resist the killing Tupac twice - Masterson because God wants to shove it in my ass that I traded Rawls to Masterson - I knew I shouldn't have done that. - Obviously a couple of Godless heathens, God will sit this one out. - Because Jeff is a Jew. SEMIFINALSSEMINFINALS (2) Griff over (8) Burrier (4) Rob M over (6) Colby(1) Bob over (5) MATT (3) ERIC over (2) GRIFF RICH'S DEEP THOUGHTS: - because Burrier is French and obviously God is a little with the French but not all the way with the French. - because God would like to watch Colby cry FINALSFINALS (4) Rob M over (2) Griff (1) BOB over (3) ERIC - Because even though God is a Floridian he would like to stick it to me twice for trading Thomas Rawls who will lead Masterson to his first championship. Did I mention that it's all about me?