HBO’s Game of Thrones is a favorite of mine. There’s politics, incest and lots and lots of full-frontal nudity (which reminds me, I have a movie idea. Bob, we’ll talk). It also has a famous saying: All Men Must Die! 

The same could be said in fantasy football: all Teams Must Lose.

If you add up all the leagues I’ve been in, I’ve done about three decades worth of fantasy football and you know what the one thing I’ve never seen in all my wonderful fantasy years? An undefeated team, thus proving my point..All teams, even a great one like Bob, must lose. The question is, when?

SEMIFINALS

(1) GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2 vs. (5) WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES

2014 RECORD: Bob 11-3, Griff 8-6 2014 SCORING: Bob 1607 PPG, Griff 1313 2014 BREAKDOWN: Bob, 11-3 BOB CAREER PLAYOFF: 14-6 overall, 8-2 in quarters, 3-4 in semis, 3-0 in finals GRIFF CAREER PLAYOFF: 17-11 overall, 9-4 in quarters, 7-2 in semis, 1-6 in finals 1-SEED IN SEMIS: 6-4 7-SEED IN SEMIS: 5-4

BOB/GRIFF THIS SEASON: Last week Griff eliminated Colby, arguable the second best team in this league. In fact, he was 3-0 against the second best team in the league. Do you know who else hasn’t beaten Griff this year? This guy.

Bob and Griff faced off back in week ten and Griff took care of business, beating the league’s top dog, 1,554 – 1,365. While he only got 124 points from his two running backs (Cadet/Riddick), he got 466 from Peyton, 328 from the Cardinals DST and a pair of 200-point efforts by Beckham and Graham. Bob rocked 570 points from Aaron Rodgers, but the only other players to break 100 were the Browns DST (293) and Ellington (144). Within a seven days of this defeat, Bob would add Megatron and Bell to his roster.

BOB/GRIFF HISTORY: Overall, Griff leads the series 11-7. That’s the best record in the league against Bob. He’s done it by actually winning five straight, as he’s swept Mr. Hollywood twice in 2012 and again in 2013. Can he three-peat those sweeps in 2014?

BOB/GRIFF PLAYOFF HISTORY: These two have met three times in the playoffs and Bob has taken two of three. The first was the first great championship game in this league, when 2-seeded Bob beat 1-seeded Griff in the last second of the last game in the 2004 title game. That was the last time a 1/2 seed faced off in the finals

In 2009, as the 3-seed, Griff eliminated 2-seed Bob in another classic, winning 1,622 – 1,534. That was considered a pretty solid upset, as Bob was riding a seven-game winning streak and was averaging 1,778 points over his last three.

The following year though, they faced off in the quarterfinals and 4-seed Bob took care of business as Griff failed to show up, losing 1,793 – 690. The win would propel Bob to his second career championship

THOUGHTS:

Bob is going to win, right? He’s going to crush it, so why bother? Well, if there is a week where Bob can go down, this might be the week. First, Aaron Rodgers has been on fire lately, but he’s also played four of his last five at home, where he’s a God. On the road, he’s a little bit more human and this week he heads to Buffalo to face the top-rated defense against the pass. If there was a week he could throw for just 200 yards and a touchdown, this is it. (He has 3 TDs and 2 INTs in his last two road games, both against bad D’s).

Meanwhile, Gronkowski has also been a God-like figure on the field, but this week he faces the Dolphins. Does that matter? Well, the Fish are the top-rated DST vs. tight ends. However, he’s still got his Pittsburgh connection (Bell/Brown) and they go to Atlanta to face a Falcons D that can’t stop the run (31) or pass (30).

As for Griff, he certainly has the talent. Peyton Manning, Odell Beckham and A.J. Green can certainly match anything Rodgers/Megatron/Brown can do and Jimmy Graham is probably the only tight end who can deliver Gronkowski stats. Go ahead and add in the Lions DST at home against a shit Vikings offense, plus some favorable match ups across the board and we might have ourselves a game.

Here is the problem…the guys I haven’t even mentioned for Bob are pretty damn good. On the flip side, Griff is asking a lot from Latavius Murray and Martavis Bryant (man, these first names are getting hard to spell. Racist!). Both have shown some magic this year. Murray has a 300+ game and got 23 carries this past week. Bryant has produced four 200+ games in his last six. Griff will need both of them to come close to matching their career highs to beat Bob.

WORTHLESS PREDICTION: Bob is just too much (that’s what she said), 1,844 – 1,676

(3) MY BALL ZACH ERTZ vs (5) MOLLIPOP

2014 RECORD: Matt 9-5, Molly 8-6 2014 SCORING: Matt 1453 PPG, PPGMolly 1411 PPG 2014 BREAKDOWN: Matt, 9-5 MATT CAREER PLAYOFF: 7-4 overall, 3-4 in quarters, 2-0 in semis, 2-0 in finals MOLLY CAREER PLAYOFF: 4-9 overall, 3-7 in quarters, 1-1 in semis, 0-1 in finals 3-SEED IN SEMIS: 6-4 5-SEED IN SEMIS: 4-6

MATT/MOLLY THIS SEASON: Back in week three, both Matt and Molly walked in undefeated, but only Molly walked out with a win. In her second game without Adrian Peterson, Molly got 968 points from her triple-headed monster of receivers that featured Jones, Hilton and Sanders. This let her overcome -42 from the Panthers DST. Matt was without Arian Foster, but got 176 from Blue. Yet, at that point, DeMaryius Thomas had yet to get going (82 points), he had Jeremy Maclin on the bench scoring 368 as five of his starters failed to hit 100.

MATT/MOLLY HISTORY: These two have split their 14 games, although Molly has now taken three of their last four. Prior to that, Matt had taken four of five.

MATT/MOLLY PLAYOFF HISTORY: These two have never met in the post-season before. This is Matt’s first trip back to the semis since 2009, when it won the title. In fact, he’s 2-0 in the semifinals. As for Molly, the last time she won a semifinals game was way back in 2002.

THOUGHTS:

For as long as Bob has been declared champion, I’ve been saying Matt has the goods to take him down. However, first he has to beat Molly. Like Bob’s squad, this team is dripping with 300-point scores. Arian Foster and Eddie Lacy are both All-Robio backs, while both Dez Bryant and Demaryius Thomas are putting up career numbers. Add in the Rams DST, which is arguable the league’s best D right now and will be facin a struggling Cardinals offense and you got 1,300 points right there. It’s the other points that continue to haunt me.

At tight end, Rudolph got the start last week, did nothing and is back on the bench. In comes Ertz, who hasn’t had a 60-yard game since week two. Also, Rivers is back down on the pine and in comes Sanchez, hoping to bring back some of that magic he had against the Cowboys two weeks ago, although he’s coming off his worst game of the year against the Seahawks. The good news is, Sanchez is one of four players that are playing defenses that are 20th or worst against their respective position.

Meanwhile, we have Molly. Dear, sweet Molly, who quite frankly is not use to playing in this league this last in the season. For her, she’s going to continue to ride Hilton, Jones and Sanders. These three could easily deliver 1,000 points by themselves as they face the 31st, 21st and 15th ranked teams against receivers. However, can a guy who has only received 8 carries per game the previous two weeks (Dan Herron) and the league’s worst defense (Saints) help Molly or will they just hurt her?

WORTHLESS PREDICTION: As much as I dream of an all-Coomer finals (simply because they owe me so much money from fantasy), I can’t shake my title game prediction now. Matt takes down Molly, 1,584 – 1,348.