WEEK ONE

Charles Bronson at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1079 – 1286 The Dick-Taters at Popular Internet Meme, 1697 – 1232 Two at Mollipop, 957 – 1514 Super Dupers at Johnny Hancock, 1453 – 1635 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Quarter Pounders, 1673 – 1365 GronkowSki School 2 at Lynch Cobb, 861 – 1375

TUESDAY THOUGHT

One thing I’ve learned from playing fantasy football the past 15+ years is…never, ever overreact after one weekend of football. No one has ever earned a mug with just one victory and no one has missed the playoffs because they started 0-1. Hell, it’s too early to even talk about trends. At this point all I can do is look at the rosters and see the good signs and the bad signs.  Before we get started though, I want to point out two things. First, with his win this week, Rob Masterson is now 12-1 on opening weekend. His only week one defeat was to Molly way back in 2006.  Secondly, congratulations to Jeff and Masterson, they are currently facing off in the Robioland fantasy baseball championship. Jeff eliminated me in the semis, while Rob took care of Calderon.  1. THE DICK-TATERS (1-0)  I could spend the next few sentences talking about Rich’s fantastic opening weekend. Matt Stafford and LeSean McCoy looked like studs as expected. Michael Floyd is a WR who should be drafted much higher than he was and Julian Thomas could be better than Jimmy Graham. I could talk about all that, but I’m not. Instead, let’s talk about the future.  In this league, I’m surprised people don’t risk higher picks to grab future stars, typically waiting until late category two or category three to get non-starters with solid keeper potential. This season, with a couple solid keepers in his back pocket, Calderon went ahead and reached big-time, using his 5th, 6th and 7th round picks on three running backs who will only start if a starting veteran falls. Yet, I think he made one mistake.  He grabbed Jeremy Hill first in the fifth round, followed by Carlos Hyde next and Devonta Freeman last. All three rookies have bright futures in this league. Yet, the mistake he might end up regretting was taking Hill first. Why? The problem is, Hill is behind Gio Bernard in Cincy. Bernard is just in his second season and he will have a long career with the Bengals. Barring injury, Hill will always be his backup.  Yet, both Hyde and Freeman backup aging veterans and have an excellent shot at being starting running backs next season. If he would have kept one of these guys in the fifth round, then he could have potentially kept both Hyde and Freeman and still have his top-four picks…although with the way Julian Thomas performs, the best thing for him to do is trade all that future talent for better players this year.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Rich improves to 5-3 against Jeff.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Rich has gone 27 weeks without a weekly low score, a league high. This was only the 7th time he’s broken 1,500 in his last 44 games.  2. THE QUARTER POUNDERS (0-1)  I didn’t post a preseason ranking, letting someone else do my leg work for me, but if I had, I would have had Colby second behind Calderon and I’m not going to let one week worth of results change my thinking.  Colby will not be getting a lot of one touchdown games from Drew Brees and I can’t overlook the fact that both his receivers (Marshall and Jeffery) as well as his tight end (Reed) all left week one injured.  What I will focus on is that his backs put up a solid 568 points. I’m not surprised by Murray’s 316, but the big question mark heading into the season was Jennings. He got the majority of carries and despite playing in a game the Giants should be embarrassed by and recorded 96 yards and a goal line TD.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Colby falls to 6-8 against Griff. In fact, his last game of 2013 was a loss to Griff, so he’s riding a two-game Griff losing streak in this league.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Jordan Reed is hurt again, so Colby should be working the wires for another tight end. Dating back to last year, who he picks up will be his 8th tight end to appear on his roster since the beginning of last year.  3. LYNCH MOB  Rob was sort of a two-hit wonder in week one as Matt Ryan and Marshawn Lynch scored 866 of his teams 1,375 points (63% of his production). During the draft, Rob made the decision to trade up and grab Marshawn Lynch. A risk, because word was he was on his way down. Well, one game in and he’s just fine (124 yards and two touchdowns). Yet, Rob’s win was a bit costly, as both Ben Tate and Jordan Cameron went out with injuries. At the very least, he’s protected himself Terrence West. In fact, if I’m Rob (which would suck, because I really hate going to the gym), I’m okay playing West over Tate. The rookie had 100 yards, although was pulled twice for the goal line.  Before we move on though, let’s talk about quarterback scoring. Last year, Ryan’s point total would have been 618 points, 120 more than this year. However, he gained at least 76 points by the changes to RB/WR/TE, so he scored 44 points less than he would have last year. However, the difference would have been smaller if Ben Tate didn’t get hurt after just six carries.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Rob has taken 5 of 6 from Bob, although Castrone still leads the series 10-8.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This is Rob’s 8th straight opening weekend win.  4. WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  A solid week for Griff who just keeps fucking winning in this league as he’s won five of his last six opening days. He earned the second best score, but I’m going to take a “wait and see” approach, before I leap frog him (even over the team he just beat).  With the new scoring system, Griff wan’t going to just win games with Peyton Manning. Others would need to step up. Overall, he got good performances from Vereen and Spiller and every player on the team broke 125. A.J. Green did as he is expected to do, thanks to a 77-yard fourth quarter TD.  The question will be, how consistent will players like Spiller, Vereen and Garcon be?  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Griff is now 8-6 against Colby, with his last two wins coming against Mr. Hall.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Griff is always a good finisher (just look at how many title games he’s been in). However, he’s also a good starter, as he’s broken 1,600 in four of his last five opening weekends.  5. MOLLIPOP  A lot to like about week one from the sources we weren’t so sure about. Russell Wilson was solid. Chris Johnson only got 38% of the team’s carries, yet still manage to put up 93 total yards and a touchdown (for 242 yards). Dennis Pitta caught 10 balls and it’s clear Emmanuel Sanders is ready and capable of stepping into that Eric Decker role. He was targeted nine times. That happened just five times in four years in Pittsburgh.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Molly improves to 11-9 vs Don after earning her third straight win.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Molly has scored over 1,500 in three of her last four week one games and has now won seven of her last 10 opening weekends.  6. MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Being the week’s lowest scoring winner is a dubious affair, but it’s not like 1,300 is a bad total. Yet, it was a late 68-yard TD from Matt’s quarterback (Foles) to his wide receiver (Maclin) that proved to be the game winner. That one touchdown gave him 301 points.  Overall, not a great week though, Foles committed three turnovers (he committed four all of last season), Eddie Lacy got a second concussion and Demaryius Jackson didn’t perform like a first-round pick (he dropped a few balls Sunday night). Instead, Matt got his points from the lesser positions; 214 at the TE (Ertiz) and 230 from his kicker (Bryant).  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Matt is just 4-11 against me now.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Matt has never been a master of the opening weekend. He’s averaged just 1,137 points in week one, breaking 1,200 just four times total.  7. CHARLES BRONSON  Man a lot went wrong in week one. Doug Martin, my first-round pick, had nine yards on nine carries and then got hurt. Dez Bryant caught just four balls, but the worst performance had to be Tony Romo. He threw interceptions and just looked bad. Don’t tell me his back isn’t a problem. There was no zip on is ball and two of his three interceptions were deep ball floaters into triple coverage.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: This is just my fourth loss to Matt in 15 match ups.  STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Starting strong has never been my strong suit, I’m just 6-10 on the opening weekend.  8. JOHN HANCOCK  Impressive performance from a team I’m expecting to being fighting for a playoff spot. The big dog Megatron put Eric over the top, scoring 448 points for week one. I guess he won’t miss his offensive coordinator. In fact, after just one half of football, he was the top receiver on the week.  More good news, it’s clear the Seahawks are determined to get the ball to Harvin. He scored 200 fantasy points without even scoring a TD. The only concern moving forward are his two Redskins. RGIII looked awful and Morris only got 14 touches.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Eric improves to 6-9 against Burrier  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This is Eric’s third straight opening weekend win, after starting his career 3-7.  9. SUPER DUPERS  Burrier did better than expected, as it was the Andrew Luck and Matt Forte show. They combined for 712 points, nearly half of Rich’s point total. Also, the Texans D looked very impressive, recording three sacks, forcing two turnovers and scoring. Yet, Ryan Mathews did share carries, Jackson was only the second best receiver on the Redskins and Green is still playing behind Gates.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Despite the defeat, Rich still leads Eric 9-6 in their career series.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Rich’s six-game streak of not breaking 1,000 has finally come to an end. However, his losing streak dating back to last year reaches seven in a row. He’s now tied for 7th longest streak, two back of the record.  10. FLOCK OF DUDES  Early Sunday afternoon, it looked like Jeff could have pulled off an upset. Tom Brady was lighting up the Fins, Le’Veon Bell was leading all backs in yards. Roddy White was the top target in Atlanta, Kyle Rudolph caught a touchdown and Jamaal Charles was the only person on the Chiefs doing much of anything. Then the second half happened.  Brady disappeared. The Vikings were killing the Rams, so no need to pass to Rudolph. Roddy White got hurt, Jamaal Charles and the Chiefs D got blown out. The only person who showed up for a full 60 was Bell. Now that’s the goods news, because it’s hard to believe Charles will be held to 34 total yards too often, right? Right?  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Jeff is 3-5 lifetime against Calderon  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Jeff falls to 1-6 all-time on the opening weekend.  11. GRONKOSKI SCHOOL 2  First, props to my favorite team name. Anytime you can drop a Dean Cameron reference into your team name, you’re a winner in my book. Unfortunate for Bob, that’s the only place he’ll be a winner this week.  Bob earns the week’s lowest score because Aaron Rodgers couldn’t produce against the league’s best defense, Ellington wasn’t 100% (but still got 80 yards), Fitzgerald looks like Palmer’s third option and Decker plays for the Jets. Also, you probably shouldn’t start the Saints defense against the Falcons at home (-79 points). You know it’s a bad week when the Ray Rice suspension is the best news you got all week.  HEAD-TO-HEAD: Bob still leads the series vs Masterson, 10-8, but he’s dropped five of the last six.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Bob had gone 18 weeks without a weekly low score. His last was week eight, 2012.  12. TWO  To win, your running backs need carries. Don’s two backs only carried the ball 22 times (catching 7 balls as well). Bernard still managed to get 110 total yards, but Ridley managed only 28, while Shane Vereen got more of the love from Brady and the coaches. Kaepernick was having a solid day, but thanks to 28-3 lead, the 49ers reined him in and ran the ball a lot in the second half (this killed Crabtree’s stats as well).  HEAD-TO-HEAD: He’s dropped three straight to Molly and falls to 9-11 all-time.  STAT THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This is the fourth time and third time in five years Don has failed to hit 1,000 on opening day. 

WEEK TWO

Quarter Pounders at Charles Bronson, 1334 – 1040 The Dick-Taters at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1287 – 1418 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Mollipop, 1146 – 1324 Johnny Hancock at Lynch Cobb, 1114 – 1375 Super Dupers at GronkowSki School 2, 892 – 1318 Two at Popular Internet Meme, 1318 – 1006

TUESDAY THOUGHT

1. THE DICK’S  STAT: Getting a high score one week has meant very little the following week. In fact, over the previous three seasons (plus this game), teams who earned a weekly high score are just 20-20 in their next game.  Sorry, but not willing to make Calderon pay for this loss. The rankings are a marathon, not a sprint. I’m chalking this one up to a bad lineup decision. Calderon sat Zack Stacy after a rough week one, deciding to spread his wings and go three-wide with Colston. That changed cost him 172 points.  Why I’m not panicking. Michael Floyd catches just one pass, while Marques Colston was completely shutout. That doesn’t happen a lot and yet, Rich was still competitive in a tough loss.  Of course, let’s talk Jordy Nelson. The whitey had a league high 478 points this week. During the summer, Rich said he had no interest in drafting either Nelson or Antonio Brown with the 13th pick in the draft. In his eyes, they weren’t the same as Julio, Dez, Demaryius (and Megatron, too). Glad draft-day Calderon didn’t listen to summer Calderon. Nelson is first among all receivers, Brown is 3rd.  2. QUARTER POUNDERS WITH CHEESE  STATS: Colby has scored at least 1,250 in 12 straight games (dating back to last year). This ties Matt for 2nd longest streak in league history. He’s four back of Bob’s record of 16 straight.  Drew Brees was the guaranteed points that was supposed to lead this squad, but don’t look now, but DeMarco Murray is the highest scoring player in the league. No, not just highest scoring running back, but player. He’s outscored Peyton Manning by 14 points. Anyhow, Pounders improve to 1-1 and we haven’t even seen their best yet. Let’s wait to when both his receivers get healthy.  3. LYNCH COBB  STAT: This is the second straight year Rob has started the season 2-0.  No Ben Tate, no problem…as Terrance West appears to be the better back (he’s scored 200 and 240 in two games). Of course it was the Pats defense that really made the difference. A week after getting bitched slapped by some Fins, they forced four turnovers, got six sacks and scored a TD, delivering 307 points to Rob’s winning effort.  4. MOLLIPOP  STAT: This is the third time in four years and fifth time in nine seasons Molly has started the season 2-0. However, she’s just 1-4 in week three when she does start 2-0.  No Adrian Peterson, no problem as Molly takes down hubby without her best player. She can thank her stacked receiving core. Julio Jones delivered 236 (as expected), but Emmanuel Sanders is looking like a steal (212 this week). Meanwhile, the Panthers were expected to collapse back to last place this year,. but the D continues to crush it, scoring 214 against a legit Lions offense. Want even better news? The child beater returns in week three.  5. MY BALLS INCH  STAT: Dating back to last year, Matt has earned the high score in three of the last seven regular season games.  Congratulations to Neatock for winning the 2014 Robioland League Championship. This was Matt’s third title in this league and he did it with…wait…sorry about that. While Matt will obviously decide this win was the defining moment of the season, it’s a nice win. Be sure to thank Calderon for benching Stacy for Colston.  Remember all those question marks about Arian Foster heading into the draft? I know you do, because how else does Foster last to the back of the second round (I’m looking right at you, the asshole who drafted Doug Martin ahead of Foster). Well, he’s a rarity in this league, a guy who gets all the team’s important carries and has now rolled off back-to-back 100-yard games, delivering Matt 360 fantasy points in week two.  6. WELCOME 2 FLA  STATS: This was just Griff’s second loss in eight games to his woman.  Tough luck for Griff, as A.J. Green popped a tire and was shutout. Jimmy Graham nearly made up the difference all by himself (356 points), but with Garcon a no-show (24 points) and Vereen splitting time (80 fantasy points), his wife was too much the overcome.  7. JOHNNY HANCOCK  STAT: Eric falls to 6-8 lifetime against Masterson.  RGIII went out early and it might have cost Eric the game. Now he might be out for 4-5 weeks or even the full season. Either way, this could be a blessing in disguise. Griffin was never going to thrive in the West Coast offense. The question is, does Eric let Jake Locker lead a pretty decent Hancock team or does he spend heavily on Kirk Cousins?  8. SKI SCHOOL 2  STAT: This is from last week, but Bob failed to score 1,000 in week one, which ends his 21-week streak, which was the longest active streak. I now have the longest active streak with 20-straight.  Bob’s squad clearly locked sharper…Rodgers got back on track (416) and Ellington is starting to look healthy (202 points). He’s still got a major gap at RB2 (I feel like we say that every year), but at least for the next month he’ll have Lamar Miller and Danny Woohead, both became starters when Moreno and Mathews went down.  9. TWO  STAT: Don improves to 1-1, which will be the ninth straight year he has failed to start a season 2-0.  Holy shit, Don got a win. Gio Bernard roughed up the Falcons and handed Don 398 points, while Crabtree looked like a solid WR1 now that he’s healthy, scoring 224 points. If it wasn’t for Kaepernick’s four turnover, Don could earned a weekly high score.  10. CHARLES BRONSON  STAT: My 2,119 total points is the least amount of points I’ve scored in my first two weeks since 2003 when I only scored 2,025. Of course I won the scoring title that year.  This squad is a hot mess. Without a doubt my worst start since 2009, the year I managed to pull two wins from my ass. Romo’s best days seem behind him, Doug Martin’s backup looks better as a starter and I can’t find a consistent starter for the WR2 spot.  11. FLOCK OF DUDES  STAT: Next week, Jeff and I will face off. The matchup will feature two 0-2 teams and the two lowest scoring teams in the league so far this season.  Things were already not looking good for Greenblatt and then he went ahead and lost Jamaal Charles. Seeing the way his backup ran the ball against the Broncos, this injury might have cost Jeff a win this week. Time will tell if Charles is gone for any amount of time, but he might end up regretting not taking his handcuff.  12. SUPER DUPER  STAT: Rich has now dropped eight straight contests, tying for fourth longest streak with Eric and Jeff. One more and he ties David, Griff and myself for longest streak. If he loses two more, the record is his and he wins a set of very dull steak knifes.  Only once has a team earned the top-pick two years in a row (Eric), but Burrier has a good shot to join that exclusive club. He’s already 0-2, Sankey looks like a huge bust and now Ryan Mathews is down for a while. This means he’s stuck with a (decent) backup (Forsett) as a starter at RB2. Maybe he’ll catch a break and Jamaal Charles will be out for a while (Burrier has his handcuff on his bench). 

WEEK THREE

Charles Bronson at Popular Internet Meme, 1461 – 1366 The Dick-Taters at Two, 844 – 1295 GronkowSki School 2 at Johnny Hancock, 1285 – 1230 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Lynch Cobb, 1141 – 1356 Super Dupers at Quarter Pounders, 1205 – 1630 My Ball Zach Ertz at Mollipop, 1009 – 1528

TUESDAY THOUGHT

First off, I want to congratulate Jeff Greenblatt. He may be arguable the worst fantasy football team in Robioland, but after this Sunday, he is a champion, as he brought home the 2014 Robioland baseball title. It may not be football, but he gets a mug anyhow.  On to football…while there was a shake up at the top and I ended up swapping the Vozzola’s, the rankings remain pretty much untouched.  1. QUARTER POUNDERS  Colby gets bumped up to the top spot, which I’m sure he loves, but hates at the same time, because he hasn’t fared well as the top dog (he’s earned “Most Disappointing Team” two years in a row).  This week he was again led by the Cowboys workhorse, as Murray delivered 292 points, despite a fumble. He’s currently the top back in the league. More importantly, Colby finally got a breakout game from Rashad Jennings, who ran for 176 yards, producing a career high 412 points. Heading into the season, Jennings felt like a risk because the fear was that rookie Andre Williams would eventually replace him. Right now, that is not should not be a fear at all as Williams has jack and shit so far this year.  2. THE DICK-(TASTERS)  Calderon tasted defeat for the second time this season and he’s currently sitting outside the playoff picture, which means it’s time to at least reconsider what we have here. Is this a sign of things to come or was this just an off-week?  Certainly, LeSean McCoy isn’t going to be sent to the sideline for concussion protocol every week, which I’m assuming has nothing to do with Goldie Hawn’s Protocol. Matt Stafford stats are a little troubling though. He’s still turning it over like he always does (three TOs this week), but the Lions aren’t getting down field like they always did in the past.  3. LYNCH COBB  For the second time in three weeks, Rob rode a 700+ point performance from his two stars, Matt Ryan and Marshawn Lynch. In fact, Ryan is the second best QB in the league right now and Lynch is the third best back.  Of course it wouldn’t hurt Rob if he actually got any kind of production from his top receiver, Vincent Jackson. So far V-Jax has just 102 yards receiving on the season. The good news is, Glennon is the starter in TB now (I think he’s the better QB) and they also will get their offensive coordinator back (he was out due to health).  4. MOLLIPOP  Again, Molly rides a dominating performance from her twin wide outs and becomes the league’s top scoring team. Julio did his best Megatron impersonation with 442 points, combining to score 740 with Sanders. Even better, landing Donald Brown could be the kind of free agent pick up (for a very reasonable $7) that just keeps giving.  First, Ryan Mathews was gone and now Danny Woodhead is outta of the San Diego backfield for the year. While Brown didn’t dominate (89 yards), he did get an incredible 36 touches, which could be the norm until Mathews return. While Brown may not be a long-term solution, it does buy an undefeated Molly time to sort out the Peterson situation.  5. MATT’S BALLS ERTZ  Obviously Matt will hate himself like a bulimic at a Golden Coral buffet for sitting Jeremy Maclin again for Cord Patterson, but that’s not what cost Matt this game. Instead, let’s put our energy towards the two big stars who are struggling to find their Stella groove.  Eddie Lacy was one of the most dominate backs in the back end of 2013, while Demaryius Thomas was arguable the best pair of hands not named Calvin Johnson. Both were expected to lead Matt to the promise land. Instead, Matt is 2-1 in spite of them.  Thomas has failed to hit 100 fantasy points twice so far and has brought in just 13 of Manning’s 27 targets. Meanwhile, Lacy’s rushing totals so far this season are 34, 43 and 36 yards…zero touchdowns. Now CBS will argue that the Packers have faced three great rush defenses and that’s a fair point, but 112 total yards is pretty damn low, no matter who the D’s are.  6. ASSHOLES, WELCOME 2 FLORIDA  Welcome to decision-making 101. The goal in fantasy football is to find a starting lineup and stick with it. When a team is swapping players in and out based on match ups, then something will always go wrong.  Last week, Pierre Garcon was a load of garbage, catching just one ball for 12 yards, so Griff decided to sit him for Buccaneers’ rookie Mike Evans, even though Garcon’s QB (Cousins) looked to be a solid arm facing a weak Eagles’ secondary. Well, Evans was fine (52 yards), but Garcon exploded for 128 yards and a TD, outscoring Evans 336-104. The difference cost Griff the game.  7. SKI SCHOOL 2  Bob didn’t dominated, but he earn his second victory of the season, thanks in part to an explosive performance from Lamar Miller (264 points), who has typically mastered the art of ripping out a fantasy owner’s heart with 35-yard performances.  Yet, let’s talk about Antonio Brown. He’s been undervalued for years, but after this season, those days may be over. Big Ben and the Steelers play callers know how to get the ball into his hands. He’s been targeted 28 times and he’s caught 22 of those balls and is on pace to earn his first 1st-team All-Robio award.  Yet, moving forward Bob needs to start getting bigger numbers from Aaron Rodgers. The Packers QB came up small again and even though Bob is sitting 2-1 in the standings, he’s near the bottom in scoring because of his quarterback play.  8. TWO (WINS)  Okay, let’s ask it…is Don legit? Kaepernick is a legit fantasy QB (thanks to his running skills) and Gio Bernard continues to show he’s a top-five back. Julian Edelman looks like the only capable wide receiver capable of catching a Tom Brady pass and even Michael Crabtree has looked like a WR1 the past two weeks.  Yet, it’s hard to put a lot of faith in a team starting Steven Ridley. Meanwhile, two future Hall of Famer’s (Andre Johnson and Jason Witten) are looking past their prime, as they continue to put up sub par numbers.  9. JOHNNY (UTAH)  Last week Eric had a chance to replace the injured RGIII with his backup Kirk Cousins. I have no idea if he put in a bid or not, but either way, he’s now stuck with Joe Flacco, one of the most inconsistent quarterbacks in fantasy football. If he would have landed Cousins, he would have walked away with a win this week.  10. CHARLES BRONSON  Like I already mentioned, I don’t like decision-making football. It never leads to the promise land. Yet, at least for one week, my decisions actually paid off. After an 0-2 start, I made four lineup changes and three of them paid off big time. Kirk Cousins did what Tony Romo could only wish he could do, scoring 444 points. I subbed in Benjamin for Allen and that got me an extra 256 points. I even replaced an injured Vernon Davis with Dwayne Allen and got a touchdown. Go team!  11. SUPER DUPERS  Oddly enough, you look at Burrier’s roster and you think good things. Andrew Luck is the league’s top quarterback, averaging 391 points per game. DeAndre Hopkins has surpassed Andre Johnson as the Texans top receiver, pulling in two 230+ games so far. Larry Donnell appears to be a solid pick up at tight end. Yet, Rich can’t get a win. Why?  Well, this week the answer is easy…bad decisions. He decided to roll with Forsett over Knile Davis and it cost him 164 points and instead of using DeSean Jackson in revenge mode against his former team, he went Terrance Williams. That moved cost him 170 points. He still would have lost if he made the right decisions, but at least it would have been an impress loss.  12. FLOCK OF LOSES  For a hot minute, it looked like Jeff would earn his first win of the year. Le’Veon Bell rolled for a 81-yard run and he opened up a solid lead over me, but then I got a garbage time TD and just like that, things were tight heading into Monday night and that was all she wrote.  While Bradshaw did a solid job replacing Jamaal Charles and the Colts D owned the Jaguars for three quarters, the problem with this team is at the quarterback spot. I can’t recall the last time Tom Brady was this bad as a fantasy quarterback. Three games in and he’s failed to crack 200 points. In fact, seven current free agent quarterbacks have better stats than Brady. 

WEEK FOUR

Charles Bronson at The Dick-Taters, 1272 – 1081 GronkowSki School 2 at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1334 – 666 Johnny Hancock at Quarter Pounders, 1035 – 1568 Lynch Cobb at Two, 1214 – 913 Super Dupers at Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes, 2224 – 930 Popular Internet Meme at Mollipop, 1919 – 1490

TUESDAY THOUGHT

1. QUARTER POUNDERS  Colby rolls to his 13 straight 1250-point game, just three back of the record and takes a hold of the scoring leader for the season. The last time Colby earned a scoring title was way back in 2004. DeMarco Murray continues to be the best pick in round one, producing a fourth straight 100-yard game with a touchdown and he might have filled up his TE hole with Travis Kelce, who delivered 246 points Monday night.  Better yet, Colby has stock-piled one hell of a bench picking up Steve Smith, Lorenzo Taliaferro and the Chargers DST to sit with Jay Cutler. This team is solid and built for the long haul. Finally, months of research are paying off.  2. LYNCH COBB  Masterson is the only undefeated team, thanks in part to the fact that Rob’s opponents have scored the least amount of points this season. That’s got to be a strange feeling for Rob, right?  In reality, while his squad hasn’t been dominating, they’ve been consistently good, scoring 1375, 1375, 1356 and 1,214. This week was his worst showing, but let’s not forget he won it with three starters on a bye-week.  3. MOLLIPOP  No shame in this defeat, even to a 0-3 team. Fact is, no team has ever won every game, so why start now. Right now, Donald Brown has one month to leave an impression with the coaching staff. That’s when Ryan Mathews is expected back. So far…not too impressive. He has just 81 yards rushing on 41 attempts (that’s less than two yards per carry).  4. THE DICK-TATERS  Okay, now may be the time to start worrying about LeSean McCoy. After losing a third offensive lineman, the Eagles offense could do nothing against a suspect 49ers D. McCoy, who declared himself the best back in football in the offseason, has followed up back-to-back 200-point games with just 78 total fantasy points in his past two games. I’d say it might be time to bench him, but Rich doesn’t have much that can replace even a bad McCoy sitting on his bench.  5. MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Last week Calderon earned the weekly low score, which was a bit shocking, because he has the league’s lowest amount of low scores. When he earned his third career low score, it was Matt who he tied. Well, no more, as Matt earns his fourth career low score (and his third in three years).  As I mentioned above, the Eagles offensive line is in trouble and while that will hurt the man who has LeSean McCoy, imagine what it could do to a team like Matt’s, who has three Eagles in his starting lineup? Time to panic? No, not at all. Yet, it’s something we’ll need to keep our eye on.  6. GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  There’s been no quieter 3-1 start in a long time, but it might be time to start to get loud in Gronkville. Aaron Rodgers finally looked like a star, producing 446 points, while Antonio Brown continues to be the best receiver in football.  7. SUPER DUPERS  I feel like this happens every year, Rich pulling a stunner out of his ass every year. Last year (also in week four) he scored 1,908 points and proceeded to win one more game the rest of the way. In 2012, he scored 1,749 in week seven and won just two more games.  Yet, can this be different this season? He does have the league’s top fantasy quarterback (Luck) and Matt Forte finally got back on track (342 points). Add in a solid Hopkins and a stud D in Texans and you see there is enough talent to get some wins.  8. WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  Last year, Griff had the talent to overcome Peyton Manning’s bye-week. This year he does not. The receiving core is not consistent enough and I don’t know what he does about that RB2 spot.  9. FLOCK OF DUDES  It’s hard to remember when a drop/add has paid off so well. This week, Jeff shockingly dumped Tom Brady for Eli Manning and it paid off big time, as Eli produced five touchdowns and 462 points, over 400 more than Brady.  10. TWO  Don decided to bench Andre Johnson and Jason Witten this week, but their replacements couldn’t deliver the goods. On the bright side, it’s not like they would have made the difference.  11. CHARLIE BRONSON  Matt Asiata isn’t going to score three touchdowns a week, so it’s hard to see this second straight win as anything but a lucky win. At least Doug Martin looked capable in his return, Tony Romo appears to be getting his shit together and Keenan Allen finally had a breakout game (on my bench no less).  12. JOHNNY HANCOCK  When Calvin Johnson fails to show up and you’re starting Blake Bortles, you got problems. Brutal. 

WEEK FIVE

GronkowSki School 2 at Charles Bronson, 1643 – 1005 Mollipop at The Dick-Taters, 993 – 1023 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Johnny Hancock, 1431 – 950 Lynch Cobb at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1271 – 2275 Two at Super Dupers, 1239 – 1413 Popular Internet Meme at Quarter Pounders, 1404 – 1405

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Typically after five weeks, I can usually point to one or two teams and say, those guys are the clear favorites. Yet, this season, I can’t. I see some good teams and I’ve watched some great performances, but no team has really climbed to the top of the bottom and declared itself the king. Yet, I still have rankings.  This week, I’ve decided to take a real close look at some of the rosters and after doing so, I’m shaking up the rankings this week. Enjoy.  #1 QUARTER POUNDERS  It was the sack heard round the world, as the fantasy gods reached down to Colby and said, “don’t sweat it, I got this.” Now Colby is in first place (thanks to points). So far this season, he has worked the wire wonderfully and let’s be honest, just saying that made Colby cream himself. Seriously, I think he would rather win the fictional “king of transaction” trophy over a championship mug.  So far, he’s added off the waiver three solid starters in Steve Smith, Travis Kelce and the Chargers DST. Yet, it may not be enough. Drew Brees is having his worst year in a long time (currently the 7th best QB) and now Rashard Jennings is out. The Gaints tailback has been a solid RB2, but now his ankle is sprained. He might just miss a couple of games, but the problem is, it opens up the door for rookie Andre Williams, who ran like a beast once Jennings was gone. If Williams establishes himself, Jennings could be sharing carries when he returns.  For the record…Colby has scored over 1,250 points for the 15th straight game. He’s now just one game back of the all-time record, set by Bob last year.  #2 LYNCH COBB (4-1)  Should I be concerned by this team? No, not really. Does the fact that Rob hasn’t hit 1,500 in any game bother me? It does. Is writing everything out like a question lazy writing? It certainly is.  It took five weeks for Rob to taste defeat, yet where is the great game? Where is the 1,700-point “fuck off, motherfuckers” type game? Sure there have been some good individual performances, but not as a team. At least Ben Tate is back and he got the bulk of the carries Sunday. Even Vincent Jackson finally realized the football season has started and decided to show up to the party.  #3 MY BALL ZACH ERTZ (3-2)  So far, Matt’s squad has been feast or famine, but it’s hard not to be impressed with this week’s past performance. DeMaryius Thomas, who had produced just 362 fantasy points so far this season, broke a Broncos’ receiving record, delivering 572 fantasy points. Eddie Lacy had been averaging 113 points per game, but rolled off 384 against the Vikings. After struggling to stay healthy the past two weeks, Arian Foster nearly beat Dallas by himself with 172 yards and 464 fantasy points. Just imagine how good this team would be if Matt actually started the better quarterback, Philip Rivers over Nick Foles.  For the record…Matt now has the second and fourth highest scoring games of all-time.  #4 SUPER DUPERS (2-3)  Just two weeks ago, coming off a record-tying nine-game losing streak, Burrier sat at the bottom of the rankings. Now two wins don’t usually impress me enough to jump a team up four spots, but I’ve felt like this team had a chance to surprise many if a few things worked out. Well, things are starting to work out.  Andrew Luck is starting to shine, as he continues to lead the league in scoring with 385 points per game, but the key is, he’s starting to get some help on the Dupers. The Bears have rediscovered they have a guy named Matt Forte and he’s delivered 704 fantasy points in his last two games. I think DeAndre Hopkins and Terrance Williams are good enough to hold the wide receiver spot down and I’m not stressed about Larry Donnell’s goose egg. The trick for this team will continue to be RB2. Trent Richardson isn’t consistent enough, but it may be time to pay attention to Justin Forsett, who has been the top back in Baltimore the past two weeks.  #5 FLOCK OF DUDES  It was a heartbreaking loss, the kind that makes you hate fantasy sports. Yet, let’s look at the big picture. Jeff’s been pretty damn good the past three games, which is one reason why I’ve bumped him up four spots; something I rarely do, especially after a defeat.  The other reason is, I like what he has done. It took balls to dump Tom Brady for Eli. I wouldn’t have. I would have cut someone else and stashed Brady on the bench, but I still like the move. Eli has looked good lately and the Giants’ have a favorable schedule moving ahead. He also did a fine job replacing his tight end spot with Dwayne Allen. No, the Colts’ TE hasn’t put up that amazing game, but his stats have improved every week this season.  Oh, by the way, did I not mention the best backfield in football? Sorry, must have skipped my mind. Yes, Jamaal Charles and Le’Veon Bell. Currently the latter is the second best back in football and as for Charles, he’s just getting started.  Sad Note…if Jeff was starting Brady and not Eli, he would have won this week.  #6 GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2 (4-1)  After a rough week one, Bob has rolled off a league high four straight wins. While he has produced a couple good point totals, this week was the first time his squad really put it all together, breaking 1,500 points for the first time all year. Aaron Rodgers is starting to show off, Antonio Brown is the league’s top receiver and Rob Gronkowski is getting better each week.  So why aren’t I pushing Bob to the top? What’s holding me back? I’ll tell you, it’s long-term holes. Right now, Bob has three spots that concern me, RB2, WR2 and DST. This week he did a nice job filling in all those holes, getting rough 500 combined points. Yet, can Andre Williams be a permanent place holder at RB2? Can Michael Floyd get enough targets? Can Bob play roto-defense all season long? When I have this many questions, the only place to put a team is in the six spot in my rankings.  #7 THE DICK-TATERS (2-3)  So is it time to get worried yet? With the exception of Julius Thomas and Jordy Nelson, Rich’s entire team is underperforming and he hasn’t sniffed 1,300 points since week one. Without Mergatron, Bell and Bush, Matt Stafford can do very little, but it’s not like he was lighting the world on fire before that. LeSean McCoy wasn’t tragically bad, but Rich didn’t keep him for 80 yards and no touchdowns.  And then there is Zac Stacy. Last year, Stacy was buried on the Rams’ depth chart and it was assumed the starting job belong to Richardson. We all know what happened next. The problem is, could the rug be pulled out from under Stacy’s legs? So far this year, he’s put up just one good game (242 back in week three), but that’s it and now he’s injured. Calderon does have his handcuff in Benny Cunningham, so that’s the good news.  #8 MOLLIPOP  I hate to drop Molly. Yeah, she’s lost two in a row, but in reality, she’s only had one bad game. I just can’t look at this roster and see a championship worthy squad and based on her past with the transaction wire and her lack of trades, it’s hard to see how she builds this team into a title contender unless Adrian Peterson returns.  Sure there is talent at the receiver spot with Julio Jones and Emmanuel Sanders. Those two are money each week, but when the only running back you can play is Chris Johnson of the Jets, then you have, without a doubt, the worst backfield since 2005 Rob Masterson backfield of J.J. Arrington and Greg Jones.  The good news is, she has those three wins already, so that’s breathing room. She’s got a tough stretch over the next month, but she could catch a bye-week break here and there. This will give her time to work it out, because if she does, she has a cakewalk final month of the season, featuring four teams I currently have ranked below her.  #9 WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES (2-3)  Griff gets Peyton Manning back and he dominates a solid Cardinals defense, producing 488 fantasy points. In Robioland, we call that a difference-maker. Of course the bad news is, Jimmy Graham is injured and we don’t know how long he will be out. The last time Griff had Graham (two years ago), he struggled to stay healthy, too. At least Griff has a solid backup in Walker.  Yet, this team is all about trying to figure out those running backs. Griff has a pile of good, but not great backs, capable of putting up great games, but also capable of shitting the bed. This week he guessed right with Robinson, but wrong with Spiller, leaving Pierre Thomas’ 344 on the pine. Yet, if you walk away with a win (which Griff did), then it’s a win-win.  #10 TWO (2-3)  There is talent on this team. Players like Kapernick, Jackson, Bernard, Edelmann, Crabtree and Gates are all good enough to be on starters on almost any team’s lineup. The issue is consistency. Crabtree is a great example. He’s suppose to be a WR1, yet he got just four targets this week. Compare that with Julio Jones, a true WR1, he averages 11 targets per game. Crabtree has reached 11 targets just once all season.  #11 CHARLES BRONSON (2-3)  Since I can only get into my own head, let me talk you through a failed draft strategy. This summer I was in discussion with one or two people to trade up. My goal was simple, trade up and land DeMarco Murray, then in the back half of the second round, draft Antonio Brown. In the end, I decided I couldn’t get Brown that late, so I didn’t trade up for Murray. My backup plan was to draft Dez in round one and Le’Veon Bell in round two. Yet, just prior to the draft, after having too many discussions about fantasy football, I talked myself out of Bell. No Murray, no Bell, not a good team. Sometimes too much fantasy talk can kill ya.  #12 JOHNNY HANCOCK (1-4)  We’ve already had this discussion so many times, it makes my head hurt, but Eric’s first-round struggles are a microcosm of everything that is has gone wrong for him in this league. No one, has a worse track record than Eric in round one. Here is as history of Eric’s First-Round Follies and their end-of-season position rankings:  2001 – Eddie George, 19th  2002 – Marshall Faulk, 16th  2003 – Ricky Williams, 9th  2004 – Rudi Johnson, 9th  2005 – Julius Jones, 20th  2006 – LaMont Jordon, 56th  2007 – Shaun Alexander, 38th  2008 – Larry Fitzgerald, 1st  2009 – Brian Westbrook, 54th  2010 – Randy Moss, 76th  2011 – Chris Johnson, 13th  2012 – Ray Rice, 4th  2013 – Ray Rice, 13th (Keeper)  This season, Eric “earned” the second pick and there was no way this wasn’t going to work out. There was too much talent to be had. He ended up going with the surest of sure things in Calvin Johnson. The Lions receiver was in the prime of his career, coming off four straight All-Robio season, including three-straight first-team awards.  Yet, all it took was one Eric to derail Megatron. After a solid first game (448 fantasy points) and a pair of good, but not great performances (6 catches, 80+ yards), Johnson now has a nagging ankle injury and has caught just three balls for 19 yards in his last two games. Word is, he might be shut down for a game or two. Fucking, Eric.  For more on Eric’s first-round failures: http://robiolandfootball.com/for-eric-losing-begins-at-the-top-of-the-draft/

WEEK SIX

Lynch Cobb at Charles Bronson, 1441 – 1136 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at The Dick-Taters, 1063 – 1076 GronkowSki School 2 at Popular Internet Meme, 1727 – 1126 Johnny Hancock at Two, 1064 – 1844 My Ball Zach Ertz at Super Dupers, 1651 – 1371 Quarter Pounders at Mollipop, 1706 – 1441

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Six weeks in and the picture is starting to get clear. In fact, I think we can now look and see who the true contenders are and who are the pretenders. It’s a perfect time create a tier system.  TIER ONE (TITLE CONTENDERS)  #1 QUARTER POUNDERS  By blowing past the 1,250-point mark yet again, Colby has now tied Bob with 16 straight and it’s hard to fathom him now blowing this record away.  Heading into a week with his starting quarterback on a bye, his already second tight end on a bye, his second running back out injured and his backup defense because of matchups, Colby overcame a 506-point performance by T.Y. Hilton to score over 1,710 to earn a fifth straight win. He’s now averaging 1,502 points per game.  #2 MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Matt’s squad doesn’t feature the most consistent players in football (just look at Eddie Lacy and Jeremy Maclin this week. The two combined for 112 points). Yet, he’s the king of monster performances, as both Philip Rivers and Arian Foster hit the 400-mark, while DeMaryius Thomas has finally got himself out of first gear with a second straight 300+ performance.  TIER TWO (SMELLS LIKE SEMIFINALS)  #3 LYNCH COBB  I dropped Masterson a spot, but that had little to do with him doing anything wrong. He’s a stud. He knows it. This week, he rode his Cleveland connection as Ben Tate and James Cameron lit up both the Steelers and me with 540 combined points.  However, I’m going to keep him just outside the first tier. Six weeks in and Rob has still not hit 1,500 points. Granted, last year’s title holder scored over 1,500 just twice all regular season, so it’s not like 1,500 is that meaningful. Still, in head-to-head, Rob is 2-4 against both Colby and Matt and that is telling.  #4 GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  Bob’s week one weekly low score is a distant memory, as he has now won five straight and scored over 1,600 points in his past two. What’s scary is that he has talent on his bench if he’s looking for a trade. While Aaron Rodgers was scoring 394 points in Bob’s starting lineup, sitting on his bench Cam Newton produced 552 points, while free agent pick up Tom Brady scored 466 points.  TIER THREE (PLAYOFF BOUND)  #5 THE DICK-TATERS  As the Seattle Seahawks are learning, defending a title is very hard. Calderon somehow is riding a two-game winning streak despite the fact he hasn’t scored 1,000 points in his last four. Hell, he’s 2-4 against me and Jeff in the breakdown and that’s bad.  The good news is LeSean McCoy finally got back on track (308 points) and with Carson Palmer back, Floyd should probably be back in the starting lineup, but man, all those running backs and no one worthy enough to hold down the RB2 spot?  #6 SUPER DUPERS  Despite the defeat, there is still plenty of talent on this team, led by MVP candidate Andrew Luck. More importantly, Justin Forsett is establishing himself as the lead back in Baltimore. The Ravens will run the ball a lot down the stretch and if he can hold onto that role, watch out.  TIER FOUR (FIGHTING FOR LAST PLAYOFF SPOTS)  #7 MOLLIPOP  This week Molly stuck in Antone Smith as her only running back and he did a good job, scoring a fourth straight 35+ yard touchdown reception. Yet, can he be trusted? The Falcons still won’t let him carry the ball (just three carries in his last two games).  I still fear that 506-point games (from Hilton this week) are masking the big picture problem. Although she’s lost three in a row, so I don’t think it’s masking much. She’s got a pretty tough next three weeks and she’ll potentially be the underdog in all of them (depending on bye weeks), but if she can survive this stretch, her final four games could be against four non-playoff teams.  #8 TWO  When the 49ers player well, when Kaepernick shows up, Don can compete, as he surprisingly earned the weekly high score this week; just his second since 2009. Yet, this wasn’t just about his quarterback’s 482-point effort this week.  Gio Bernard is averaging 273 points per game, which has him on pace to earn an All-Robio award. If he can bring home a first-team award, he would become just the second first-team All-Robio running back Don has ever had (MJD in 2009 is the only one right now).  #9 WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  22 points. That is how many points Griff got from his two running backs (Vereen and Spiller). They combined for just 26 yards and a fumble. And the worst thing is, there is no solution on Griff’s bench right now. Yes, losing both A.J. Green and Jimmy Graham would hurt any team out there, but if Griff doesn’t find some backs soon, his season will end sooner than he likes.  #10 SAVED BY THE LE’VEON BELL  Winning in fantasy football comes down to drafting, getting lucky and in-season management. It’s that last part that has hurt Jeff the most (probably why he use to draft for the Pounders and Colby ran the team).  Last year he cost himself at least three wins by making lineup changes. This year, it’s looking like cutting Tom Brady might be a huge mistake (think about Eric cutting Jeffrey last season). The Golden Boy has gone off since being cut and now Eli is without his best receiver, as the Eagles just showed the rest of the league the blueprint to shutting down the Giants.  TIER FIVE (BATTLING FOR THE TOP PICK)  #11 CHARLES BRONSON  Hey, I did something right by picking up Branden Oliver. Sadly, that’s the only thing I’ve done right. Here’s the good news, my team has been awful this season, yet I still have a pair of wins and I’ve played arguable the toughest schedule.  My next five games will not feature any of the top five teams in the league. If I can take three of five, then I can keep hope alive. Of course that might be asking a lot of this team.  #12 JOHNNY HANCOCK  Eric opened the season scoring 1,635 points. He hasn’t crossed 1,250 since and hasn’t won since. Worse yet, he removed Sammy Watkins redshirt and for what? 27 yards receiving on two catches. Tough. 

WEEK SEVEN

Charles Bronson at Super Dupers, 1143 – 1344 Two at Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes, 837 – 1358 Mollipop at GronkowSki School 2, 1435 – 1575 My Ball Zach Ertz at Johnny Hancock, 1577 – 1294 Popular Internet Meme at Lynch Cobb, 1984 – 847 The Dick-Taters at Quarter Pounders, 858 – 1206

TUESDAY THOUGHT

6-1. That’s the number that I’m paying attention to (because clearly I’m not paying attention to my roster). Three teams are now 6-1 on the season. This is Colby and Bob’s first venture into 6-1, while Matt is hitting that mark for a second time in his career.  This is only the second time in league history three teams in one season has started with one loss, seven games into a season. The last time was way back in 2000 (when myself and two former league members all did it). I’m the leader of the 6-1 pack, doing it three times, while Griff is the only person to go back-to-back (2003-04).  Let’s just say it, being 6-1 feels good. In fact, it’s good to be 6-1. Why? Let me tell you why. 14 teams have started the season 6-1. Every one of those teams made the playoffs. Overall, eight of them have reached the title game and three have won championships (Robio in 2000, Matt in 2009 and Calderon last season). In fact, for five straight years a 6-1 team has reached the title game. Below is your list of 6-1 teams:  2000 – Robio started 6-1, finished 4-3, earned a 2-seed and won the championship  2000 – Justin started 6-1, finished just 2-5, earning the 5-seed and lost in quarterfinals  2000 – Brian started 6-1, finished 4-3, earned the 3-seed and lost in the quarterfinals  2003 – Griff started 6-1, finished 2-5, earned the 5-seed and lost in the title game  2004 – Griff started 6-1, finished 3-4, earned the 1-seed and lost in the title game  2006 – Molly started 6-1, finished 4-2, earned the 2-seed and lost in the quarterfinals  2007 – Eric started 6-1, finished 2-4, earned the 4-seed and lost in the quarterfinals  2009 – Jeff started 6-1, finished 2-4, earned the 4-seed and lost in the quarterfinals  2009 – Matt started 6-1, finished 4-2, earned the 1-seed and won the championship  2010 – Robio started 6-1, finished 6-0, earned the 1-seed and lost in the title game  2011 – Rich B started 6-1, finished 1-5, earned the 3-seed and lost in the title game  2012 – Eric started 6-1, finished 3-3, earned the 3-seed and lost in the title game  2013 – Robio started 6-1, finished 4-2, earned the 1-seed and lost in the semifinals  2013 – Calderon started 6-1, finished 4-2, earned the 2-seed and won the championship  1. QUARTER POUNDING  Some decisions in fantasy football pay off (starting the Bills DST this week), while others don’t (benching Drew Brees for Jay Cutler). The latter of course put an end to Colby’s 16-game 1,250-point streak. Speaking of Cutler and the Bears, this is the only thing that really worries me about Colby’s squad. The Bears have been the most mysterious team in the league. They go into Atlanta and own the Falcons, but then get their asses handed to them by the Dolphins at home. The result: Colby’s all-Bear receiving core gets just 114 points.  2. ZACH ERTZ BALLS  This week Matt’s newly formed receiving duo paid off as they should all season, but we’ll take a wait and see approach to see if they become the best. In fact, based on numbers, they’re only the third best receiving duo in the league right now. Molly has the 4th and 5th best receivers (Julio/Hilton) and Jeff has the 6th and 7th best (Smith/Tate). .  3. GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  For years now, Bob has gone with the “fuck running backs” theory of team building. He does not reach for a running back simply because that’s what he is suppose to do. Instead, he waits, drafts one later, gets a free agent pick up here or trades for one there. This week he got 320 points from Ellington (who is about to become a star), 226 from Lamar Miller (who remains unchallenged in Miami) and even on his bench he got 202 from McKinnon, the new starter in Minnesota.  4. LYNCH MOB  After a 3-2 start, everyone was bending down to get a taste of the Cleveland Browns’ balls, but after this week, I think that will stop. The Browns got hammered by a winless Jacksonville team and if the Browns don’t go, neither does Masterson. He got just 78 total points from Ben Tate and Jordan Cameron. However, the worst news is at the QB spot. Matt Ryan came out rolling this season, which was expected as he has a wicked foursome at the wide receiver spots. The problem is, the Falcons are now down four offensive linemen and Ryan has no time to throw the ball. The results? His stats have gone down four straight weeks.  5. SUPER DUPERS  After producing his fourth straight 300+ plus game (and fifth of the season), Matt Forte is starting to look like a fantastic first pick in the draft. He’s on pace to earn his first 1st team All-Robio award, after bringing home two second-teams and one third-team award.  6. WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSES  Can Shane Vereen be the savior that Griff has been praying for? With Steven Ridley done for the year, no one was quite sure who would fill the void at RB in New England. Well, for one week it was Vereen and he shinned with 114 yards and two touchdowns. Now can we trust the Patriots coaching staff? Probably not, but with C.J. Spiller gone for the year, Vereen may be Griff’s last best hope.  7. SAVED BY THE LE’VEON BELL  This is the kind of performance that makes Jeff’s team scary if he can squeeze into the playoffs. Everyone went off including Eli (366) and Tate (368). However, most importantly, Jamaal Charles finally showed up and had his best performance in a while. If he is back on track, Jeff’s backfield is the best in the land, which is good news since right now, his receiving core features two top-eight guys.  8. MOLLIPOP  You can win a championship going three-wide. It’s been done. However, the key is you have to have a anchor of a back at the one running back. During Molly’s current four-game losing streak, her one back offense has failed. Her backs have carried the ball just 27 times for 69 rushing yards. You got that? Her backs have averaged 17 yards per game. In his only appearance this season, Adrian Peterson had 75 yards rushing.  9. THE DICKLESS TATERS  I never could figure out why everyone was falling over one another for Isaiah Crowell and his 46 fantasy points this week. Anyhow, with Crowell, Palmer and Hunter rocking the starting lineup, this was not Rich’s dream lineup and it showed. At least he was smart enough to land Tre Mason, who looks like the new starter in St. Louis, although can we ever trust that team and their backfield?  10. TWO  First, Don lost Steven Ridley (and still has him on his roster for some reason even though he’s on IR and out for the year) and now he’s down Fred Jackson for at least four weeks. At least his no-transactions streak has now reached seven games.  11. CHARLES MANSON  With the way Ronnie Hillman is running, why would Denver give the starting job back to Monte Ball? Seriously, could Monte Mall and Dough Martin end up being the worst running back duo to start a season in league history?  12. JOHNNY HANCOCK  Defense still matters. Sure we adjusted the scoring, but a bad decision on DST will still cost you a game. So what the fuck was Eric thinking? He needs to change his team name to Will Muschamp after some of the decisions he has made. The 49ers DST has been good, not great, this season. Yet, for some reason Eric decided to roll with them on the road in Denver in prime time, right when Peyton Manning was on the verge of breaking the all-time touchdown record. How do you keep them in? The Broncos owned the 49ers and Eric earned -14 points in his DST spot. 

WEEK EIGHT

Charles Bronson at Johnny Hancock, 1207 – 1244 My Ball Zach Ertz at Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes, 1916 – 1174 The Dick-Taters at GronkowSki School 2, 650 – 2179 Mollipop at Lynch Cobb, 1601 – 1241 Popular Internet Meme at Super Dupers, 1511 – 1621 Two at Quarter Pounders, 1224 – 1691

TUESDAY THOUGHT

It’s hard to believe but the post-season party is just six weeks away. It’s still a three-headed monster at the top. In fact, I’d argue my top three are interchangeable right now and the rest of us are just playing catch up. Well, the rest excluding me.  #1 MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  It’s time to go ahead and stick Matt’s squad where it belongs. Of course the irony is, if he had Maclin and not Bryant, he would have had his second 2,000-point game this month. Still, his squad has averaged 1,854 points per game over his last four. That’s the second greatest four-game stretch in league history. Although I’d argue this is more impressive since the best 4-game streak was done in 1999, when we only had eight teams in the league.  #2 QUARTER POUNDERS  It’s hard to drop a team a spot when they’re sitting at 7-1 and have scored over 1,500 in four of his last six games, but don’t take it personally.  Colby has a big test next week when he and Bob will face off. It’s history folks, as it will be the first time in league history two 7-1 teams will face off. They are the 8th and 9th teams to start a season 7-1 (plus one team began a season 8-0), although only one 7-1 team has won a championship, so careful what you wish for.  #3 GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  I’ve already talked about Matt’s impressive four-game run, but let’s mention Bob’s as well. Over his last four (all wins), he’s averaged 1,781 points per game. What’s impressive is that Bob is doing this with four running backs on his roster who have never sniffed 1,000 yards rushing in a season, yet three of them could end up doing it this year.  #4 SUPER DUPERS  Out of the ashes, Burrier has risen and won four of his last five; his only defeat coming via Neatock three weeks ago. He continues to ride the two-man rodeo show that is Andrew Luck and Matt Forte. The pair combined for 834 points this week, more than Calderon’s entire starting lineup.  #5 CHICKEN PARM YOU TASTE SO GOOD  There’s always one. There’s always one team that scores lights out, yet can find a way to win. That team is Jeff. Go ahead and call it the “cutting Tom Brady” curse. The reality is, he keeps coming close, but can’t get over the hump. He lost to me by 95 points (my last win). He lost to Colby by one on a fluke ending and he just fell to Burrier by 68. However, there is no reason to panic. The fact is, even at 2-6, Jeff is just one game back of a playoff spot and since he’s fourth in the league in scoring, all he has to do is force a tie against most teams in the league.  #6 LYNCH COBB  Rob has now dropped three of four and has failed to break 1,500 still. Only once in his career has Rob failed to hit 1,500 this late in the season and that was 2008, the year he won just three games. Now heading into the season, Rob’s backfield was suppose to be a strength, yet over his last three games, Lynch and Tate have combined to average 298 PPG, producing just one 200+ game.  #7 MOLLIPOP  Did you ever wonder if you can win a game with no running backs? Well, wonder no more. Molly already only starts one running back and that one back this week was Bernard Pierce, who was a healthy scratch. She got zero points from her backfield, yet still scored over 1,500 and cruised to victory. It helps to have a pair of receivers (Sanders/Hilton) who can score a combined 802 points in a game.  #8 WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  Griff has been to seven title games in this league. That’s impressive. He’s gotten there because he’s always been a good team manager. If he has a hole, he fills it. However, new skinny Griff has struggled to fill holes. This week he started Shane Vereen and Travaris Cadet. These two combined for 92 yards. For the former, this hurts after he had such a big week the week before. But like we always said, if you’re relying on a Patriots back, you’re doing it wrong.  #9 TWO  Despite the loss, Don finally made a transaction last week and it paid off, as Denard Robinson proved to not be a one-hit wonder, recording a second straight 100-yard game. Too bad Julian Edelman was the only Patriots receiver to do nothing this week. Worse yet, right when Don needs to start pulling out some victories, he’s potentially down a third back. First it was Steven Ridley, then Fred Jackson and now Gio Bernard could miss some time.  #10 JOHNNY HANCOCK  Sometimes you have to catch a break to win a game (Eric did with the Romo injury). It also helps to have Sammy Watkins, too. The Bills rookie receiver recorded his second straight 300+ fantasy game. Will it be enough to get him back in the playoff picture? He’s just one game back, but he’d lose a ton of tiebreakers right now. The good news is, the back end of the schedule is not brutal. He will avoid a second go-around with Matt, Bob and Colby.  #11 THE DICK-TATERS  Heading into the season, Calderon had just three weekly low scores in his first 11 years in the league. He now has two in the season’s first eight weeks. Man, defending the title is hard. This week he got an unheard of 96 combined fantasy points from Jordy Nelson, Michael Floyd and Julian Thomas. On top of that, the Rams backfield is destroying any hope Rich might have. If things don’t get turned around soon, he’ll be the first defending champ to miss the post-season since Matt in 2008.  #12 CHARLES BRONSON  God, I suck. First, I completely forget that Owen Daniels is questionable and don’t replace him in my starting lineup Saturday night. I can’t do it Sunday, because I spent all my money. Even then, I still have a shot Monday night (thanks you Jeremy Maclin) and I have a good lead in the third quarter. Then the walls caved in. Romo gets knocked out of the game. Eric passes me with Alfred Morris, ball game. I’m 2-6, last in scoring and my team has shown no hope of improvement. I probably need to go 5-0 down the stretch and I end the season with Matt and Colby. Um, yeah. 

WEEK NINE

Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Charles Bronson, 1167 – 1058 Two at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1141 – 809 GronkowSki School 2 at Quarter Pounders, 1818 – 1391 Johnny Hancock at Popular Internet Meme, 1450 – 1230 Lynch Cobb at The Dick-Taters, 1441 – 1509 Super Dupers at Mollipop, 1417 – 1343

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Nine weeks in and we are now just four weeks away from the post-season. What have we learned? What do we now? Where are my fucking pants?  #1 GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  He finally stands alone. Bob now owns the top-seed with a very favorable schedule down the stretch. At this point he’s averaging 1,526ppg, which would be the fourth best regular season ever. How good of a chance does Bob have to not lose another game this season? Put it this way, of his four remaining foes, they have scored what he’s averaging for the year…just four times combined all season. He’s done it five times in his last five weeks.  He’s already got the league’s top receivers (Brown), the top tight end (Gronkowski) and before the season is over, Ellington could be challenging others for best back not named Murray. More importantly, after wasting away in the desert the past few years, Larry Fitzgerald has rediscovered his spark, producing 70 or more yards receiving in three of his last four games, plus two touchdowns.  #2 MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Okay, this is your one. Everyone gets a pass. Everyone is allowed to have one bad game, although technically this is Matt’s second really bad game. Ironic, isn’t it? Calderon and Neatock were the kings of avoiding weekly low scores, but this season alone, they have combined for four of the nine so far.  So should I read into anything? Well, Arian Foster is hurt. No word if he’ll miss any time. Yes, Matt has Blue, but Alfred Blue is not Arian Foster. Not worried about Bryant. He’ll be fine once Romo comes back. However, does this squad have a QB problem? Yes, it was an awful game by Rivers (-52), but it’s just one game, right? Yet, he’s thrown seven interceptions in his last three games and hasn’t thrown for 300 yards in any of those games.  Fun fact: Last week, Matt would have hit 2,000 if he had Maclin over Dez Bryant. This week, he would have won if he had Maclin and not Bryant.  #3 QUARTER POUNDERS  Down a pair of receivers, Colby got a big game from Evans (368), but not from Benjamin (36). However, without a big game from Murray or Brees, he had little chance against the juggernaut that is Bob. Would love to see Jennings come back. Bradshaw can occasionally put up some decent numbers, but Colby really needs a legit RB1 to ride along side Murray in his backfield.  #4 SUPER DUPERS  I guess three players is better than one…especially if that player is Andrew Luck and he delivers 476 points on the road against the Giants.  Listen, let’s be honest. The league has really come down to a three-way race between Bob, Matt and Colby. Yet, the tier two teams: Burrier, Jeff, Molly all have the kind of talent to pull off some major upsets come playoff time. Luck has become the new Peyton Manning…Rich is never out of a game with him in the starting lineup.  #5 CHICKEN PARM YOU TASTE SO GOOD  Jeff drops his fourth game out of his last five, so it’s getting tough to keep him up here so high. Yet, head-to-head, he’s 4-3 against both Molly and Burrier and 5-2 against Masterson, three teams way ahead of him in the standings. He would be 6-3 if he had played Bob’s schedule. Simply put…Jeff’s team is better than his record.  Yet, at 2-7, one more defeat and all this is pointless. I’ll have no choice but to drop him deep in my rankings because these here rankings are who has the best shot to win the title and you can’t win the title if you can’t make the playoffs.  #6 MOLLIPOP  I’m going to go ahead and bump Molly up despite the loss. She finally got a decent game from a running back (Chris Johnson got 13 touches and 101 yards). He’s going to need more carries to be a true solution though, simply because he’s not going to average 7.7 yards per touch every week, but it’s a start. The fact is, with Molly’s receiving core, she doesn’t need a star, she just needs one competent back.  #7 LYNCH COBB  Rob actually played his best game of the year, but it wasn’t enough. This week, he was down a pair of starters (at QB and with Cobb out) and he failed to fill those holes. However, if you’re looking for some good news in a loss, look at what Mark Ingram did again.  The former Heisman trophy winner has been a bust in his NFL career, but since coming back from injury, he’s been in beast mode. In fact, if you ignore his first game back from injury, his four game stats are: 242, 258, 410 and 340. That’s DeMarco Murray type numbers.  #8 WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  Griff is struggling to put up points, failing to hit 1,200 in six of his last eight games, but at least he got the win this week. Too bad for him he can’t face me every week. In fact, his last three wins since beating Colby in week one have come against the teams ranked 9th, 10th and 11th in scoring. Let’s face it, as long as Griff is stuck starting Travaris Cadet, he’s not going to win a lot of games.  #9 TWO  Don survives week one without Gio Bernard and that’s where we are at right now. Don’s in the post-season picture and wants to stay there. That’s all he needs to do. Because a playoff team with a Bernard/Robinson backfield is dangerous.  Of course those receivers are starting to look awful. Edelman can put up some solid numbers, but Andre Johnson and Michael Crabtree combined four just 104 points and that’s not a fluke. That’s becoming the norm.  #10 THE DICK-TATERS  Calderon hits 1,500 for the first time since week one, so is this a sign of things to come? No. No it’s not. Listen, if Gio Bernard was declared out for the year tomorrow, then Rich has a deadly backfield. Jeremy Hill dominated for the Bengals without Bernard (446 fantasy points). However, as soon as Gio comes back, Hill goes back to sharing carries and Rich is back to the team that is currently last in points in the league.  #11 JOHNNY HANCOCK  No team has started a season 1-6 and made the playoffs. Yet, Eric could be that first and he’s trying to do it with a bunch of different pieces. This week he inserted RGIII, Rainey, Baldwin and LaFell and they delivered. Next week he could be trying to do it with Harvin and Watkins. And don’t forget, Calvin Johnson should be ready to return.  Most importantly, the schedule is favorable. He doesn’t have to face Bob, Matt or Colby again and gets Molly, Calderon, Burrier and Masterson to finish the season.  #12 CHARLES BRONSON  I could talk about my team once again failing this week, but instead I want to focus on all the mistakes I’ve made this year by looking at what all the running backs I’ve cut this year did just this week…  Hillman: 246 points  Rainey: 242 points  Asiata: 314 points  My combined backs this week (Oliver & Gray): 113 points. 

WEEK TEN

Charles Bronson at Two, 1000 – 1390 Popular Internet Meme at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1304 – 1705 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at GronkowSki School 2, 1554 – 1365 Mollipop at Johnny Hancock, 1232 – 1198 Quarter Pounders at Lynch Cobb, 1405 – 1843 The Dick-Taters at Super Dupers, 1323 – 823

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Ten weeks in and sure we’re seeing some upsets here and there, but the overall results remain fluid. The three-headed monster remains just a three-headed monster. The second tier teams continue to be a player short and the fight for the final playoff spots continues to be a small group.  #1A MY BALL ZACH ERTZ (7-3)  Okay, instead of just flip flopping Bob and Matt at the top spot, let’s just go ahead and name them both first-place teams in my rankings. With Arian Foster out, his starting quarterback on a bye, along with his best backup (Allen) and better defense, Matt still cruised to another impressive win. It helps that after a couple quiet games, Dez Bryant rolled the Jags for 436 points in London and Mark Sanchez looks quite comfortable in Chip Kelly’s offense.  #1B GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2 (8-2)  Bob’s eight-game winning streak comes to an end. He ties Burrier (2006), Griff (2005-06) and himself (2004) with sixth longest winning streak. No big deal in the defeat, as Bob’s still on pace to earn that top seed. However, the lesson is, don’t outsmart yourself. Heading into the week, Larry Fitzgerald has been hot, yet Bob benched him for Eric Decker. Well, that decision cost him 176 points. It didn’t cost him the game, as he still would have lost by 14. Heading down the stretch, he’ll be favorite in his final three, but all three teams are currently playoff teams.  #3 QUARTER POUNDERS (7-3)  Since 2006, only two quarterbacks have earned five All-Robio awards: Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. In fact, Brees just missed out twice, finishing as the fourth best QB in 2006 and 2012. So the reality is, when you draft Brees, you know you’re getting your ass points. However, this year has been a struggle. Granted, he’s still the 7th best QB in the league (averaging 289PPG), but this is a guy who hasn’t finished out of the top-six since 2005. Colby’s team is solid, but he’s going to need some big points from his quarterback against his fellow big boys.  #4 MOLLIPOP (5-5)  Molly’s got four receivers that she can roll out there at anytime and those four have combined to produce 21 games with 200+ points and that doesn’t even include Martavis Bryant’s 346 points this week. I don’t know if that’s a record (we don’t keep those records), but sure sounds like one.  #5 LYNCH COBB (6-4)  Finally, there’s the Marshawn Lynch Rob traded up for. In reality, it’s been an impressive two weeks for Lynch, as he’s delivered 966 points, which has him back as the fourth best back in football. If he can continue to produce, Rob might suddenly have the best backfield in football with Lynch and Ingram.  #6 SUPER DUPER (5-5)  Being down three starters, including the league’s top quarterback, is hard to overcome, so Rich shouldn’t stress about the loss. However, Terrance Williams’ production should be worrisome. He hasn’t sniffed 200 fantasy points over his last five weeks, as he got shutout against the Jaguars this past week.  #7 WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES (5-5)  A solid upset by Griff, as he locks up his fifth win of the season. He got huge performances from expecting sources (Manning: 466, Jimmy Graham: 272) and not so expected sources (Cardinals DST: 328 and Odell Beckham: 238). However, it might be time to move Beckham into the expected category. With Cruz gone, the rookie is clearly Eli’s favorite target. He’s played just five games and if you add his totals to equal a full season he would have 80 catches, 1,185 yards and nine touchdowns. Pretty damn good for s guy who Griff will be able to keep in the 14th round for the next two years.  #8 CHICKEN PARM YOU TASTE SO GOOD (2-8)  Now Jeff is in trouble. He’s three games back of a playoff spot, but the only way he can get in is to A) win all his remaining games and B) he needs two people out of Burrier, Calderon and Don to go 0-3 and he’ll need Eric to not go 3-0. Is that possible? Sure. Technically I could sleep with Scarlett Johansson this week, but unlikely.  For the record: Jeff remains fourth in the league in points. That would be a record for a non-playoff team. I missed the playoffs back in 2004 despite being fifth in scoring. My team averaged 1,343 points per game. Jeff’s squad could become the first 1,400-point team to miss, as he’s averaging 1,408 points per game. This is what happens when your opponents are on pace to score the third most points in league history.  #9 TWO (5-5)  No Gio, no Edelman, no Johnson, no Gates, no Ridley…no problem. Getting Fred Jackson back seemed like good news, but the Bills had him sharing carries with both Dixon and Brown. This just means Don needs Bernard back sooner rather than later if he wants to get that invite to the post-season party.  #10 THE DICK-TATERS (5-5)  Briefly I had Rich sneaking back into the playoff picture, but than Jordan Matthews became Mark Sanchez’s favorite target and Don won, so Rich has to keep hope alive. Let’s have some straight talk. Can this team repeat? Sure there is talent to pull off an upset in round one. Players like McCoy, Nelson and Thomas and put up monster numbers, but overall the talent is not there. Stafford isn’t putting up the numbers, the second RB spot is a mess and I’m not buying Torry Smith putting up 200 per game.  #11 JOHNNY HANCOCK (3-7)  Megatron finally came back and delivered 286 points, but it’s looking like it’s going to be a little too late for Eric. He’s only two games back, but would struggle to win total points tiebreakers. Might be time to start thinking about next year, which really could be Eric’s motto in this league.  #12 CHARLES BRONSON (2-8)  My team couldn’t even beat Don’s backups. I did hit exactly 1,000, which just goes to show you how pointless the 1,000-point game streak really is, since I’m the current leader. I’ve done it for 28 straight games, one back of Matt for second longest streak in league history. 

WEEK ELEVEN

Charles Bronson at Mollipop, 868 – 794 Quarter Pounders at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1583 – 1341 Johnny Hancock at The Dick-Taters, 1213 – 1124 GronkowSki School 2 at Two, 1701 – 1173 Super Dupers at Lynch Cobb, 1354 – 1182 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Popular Internet Meme, 1276 – 1187

TUESDAY THOUGHT

1. GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  Well, if it wasn’t official before, it’s official now; Bob has the best team heading into the post-season thanks to the trading deadline additions of two All-Robio talents, Le’Veon Bell and Calvin Johnson. The Megatron trade was a simple dump trade and Bob probably gave up his best category one keeper next year to get him, but the Bell trade was a steal. He basically gave up three players (Anderson, Romo, Fitzgerald) who would have never sniffed his starting lineup to get him the second best back in football.  Of course unlike some people in this league, I’ll hold off on handing Bob the championship mug until he actually has won it. We got a long way to go and more often than not in this league, the best team does bring home the title.  2. QUARTER POUNDERS  It’s simple, if you’re third in my rankings and you beat the number two team, then you get to move up. This week, with DeMarco on a bye-week, he relied on his receiving core to get his points, as Jeffery finally showed up to deliver 330 points. However, Michael Evans could end up being one of the better free agent pick ups this season. After week four, Griff cut the rookie receiver and then he sat there for four weeks. No one wanted him. Then for no particular reason (coming off a four-catch game), Colby grabbed him. Since then he has accounted for 1,216 points in three games. With Ahmad Bradshaw done for the season, this team could be best served riding three-wide.  3. MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Remember just a few weeks ago when Matt was already bragging about his third championship mug he was expecting to have with the greatest team out there? Yeah, seems so long ago. Suddenly, his quarterback spot is starting to resemble a weak spot (so much for Rivers’ MVP season), his TE is below average and he can’t seem to find a good defense. At least Blue looked like a solid backup for the injured Foster. Sure hope they don’t start sharing carries when Foster comes back.  4. SUPER DUPERS  RB2 has always been the question mark for this squad and after seeing Trent Richardson put up just 42 points this weekend, it looked like Forsett would have to continue to be the man. However, the good news to come out of that bad game is the fact that Ahmad Bradshaw is done for the year, so that Colts’ backfield now belongs to Richardson. Plus, Rich also got Ryan Mathews back, so he could go a lot of different ways at the RB2 spot.  5. LYNCH COBB  One of these days, Rob will actually guess right at the quarterback spot. This week he benched Jay Cutler and started Matt Ryan. The decision didn’t cost him the game, but it will soon enough and it will probably be in the playoffs.  6. MOLLIPOP  Everybody gets a bad game. However, if Molly fails to advance far into the playoffs, she has no one to blame but herself for her refusing to trade in this league. She hasn’t performed a trade since 2003 and she has never performed a trade with anyone she hasn’t met personally (Griff and myself). You can’t play fantasy football like that. Molly is stacked, absolutely stacked at WR, yet her failure to turn one of them into a running back will be her undoing. Just keep praying Adrian Peterson comes back doesn’t seem to be a great strategy so far, but we’ll find out more in a few days.  7. WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  Despite the win, I’m making it official, I’m moving Griff off my “possible championship” list. He simply doesn’t have the goods. This team features zero starting backs (how does that happen?). Peyton Manning can do a lot, but he can’t do it by himself. At least A.J. Green looked good, as he delivered 314 points. Oddly enough, he got 220 of those points off of one drive.  8. JOHNNY HANOCK  How about this…if Eric didn’t dump Megatron, he would have been starting RGIII and obviously Megatron. Well, with that lineup he would have scored 90 points less than he did with his new lineup. He beat Calderon by 89 points to keep his slim playoff hopes alive. 9. TWO  With Jordan Matthews suddenly becoming a star in Philly, I just want to see what this team can do with a healthy Gio Bernard along side Denard Robinson. Keep in mind, we haven’t witnessed that backfield yet this season.  10. CHICKEN PARM YOU TASTE SO GOOD  It’s becoming obvious that heading into 2015 Jeff really needs to work on his in-season decision making. First, he drops Tom Brady right before he blows up. Yes, he was struggling, but you don’t cut him, you bench him.  Second, not trading Hillman for Romo. Now I can only talk about my offers to him, but weeks ago I offered him Romo for Hillman. He passed on it.  Third, this recent trade. Ugh it was bad. The fact is, if Jeff didn’t make the trade he wins this game and he’s now just two games back of Griff, Don and Calderon for the two final playoff spots, with a total points tiebreaker sitting in his back pocket. Instead, Jeff is officially eliminated from the playoffs and he doesn’t have a single category one keeper option I like. I would have loved Le’Veon Bell with the 23-24th pick next year. The same Bell who rolled off 500+ points Monday night.  11. DICK-TATERS  Christ, Matt Stafford has really sucked this year. Yes, McCoy has been a disappointment. Yes, the RB2 spot has been a problem all season and yes, Julian Thomas is now hurt, but Stafford has been the biggest problem for Rich all season. He was suppose to be an elite quarterback, yet he’s broken 300 just four times, the same amount of times he’s scored under 200.  12. CHARLES BRONSON  Really? I produce my worst game of the year and I pull out a meaningless win that hurts my chances of earning the top pick in next year’s draft? Christ, I can’t do anything right. I mean, I’m trying to fail…I left a 199-yard and four TD performance on my bench while I started 21 yards on eight carries McFadden. 

WEEK TWELVE

My Ball Zach Ertz at Charles Bronson, 1571 – 669 Popular Internet Meme at The Dick-Taters, 1730 – 1313 Mollipop at Two, 1430 – 1063 Johnny Hancock at Super Dupers, 1270 – 1593 Quarter Pounders at Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes, 1509 – 1878 Lynch Cobb at GronkowSki School 2, 980 – 1274

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Sadly, a third team has been eliminated from playoff contention as Eric bows out after losing to Burrier last night. Now we have fewer question marks. First, one thing we know for sure is that Bob will earn his first career top-seed. The only question is, will he become the 8th team to earn both the top seed and the scoring title (Robio ’99, Rick ’00, Jason ’01, Robio ’03, Matt ’09, Molly ’11, Robio ’13).  Anyhow, Colby and Matt will battle for the two seed, although it doesn’t really matter much, since both will officially avoid Bob until the title game (if it comes to that). Burrier, Griff, Molly and Masterson are all in, the only question is seeding. Barring a really bad game next week, Burrier can’t do worse than a five seed and Masterson will struggle to get to the 4/5 spot. Griff could get to four, but Molly can only hope for five.  Lastly, the final playoff spot comes down to Don and Calderon. Will Don become just the third team to miss the post-season three straight years or will Rich become the first champion since Matt in 2008 to miss the playoffs?  Now instead of just repeating myself (Bob is great, Calderon is terrible, the Coomers have terrible running backs), let’s do quickthoughts and then talk a little about next year and see potential 2015 keepers for everyone.  1. GRONKOWKI SCHOOL 2  For just the second time since week five Bob fails to hit 1,500, yet he still manages to when his 10th game of the season. This is his first 10-win regular season since 2004 (you know, back when he won his first title).  2015 KEEPERS: Le’Veon Bell (Rd 2), Andre Ellington (Rd 6)  Bob has a large selection of keepers. In category one alone, he got Gronkowski in round four and Antonio Brown in round two, yet for now I’ll put him down for Bell. In category two, McKinnon could be the man again next year in Minnesota (Rd 6) and Lamar Miller is a pretty efficient RB2 in round 9, yet Ellington is a stud. He has no category three keepers, but with Bell and Ellington, hiss backfield is already golden.  2. QUARTER POUNDERS  I won’t punish a team that scores over 1,500 points in a loss, so Colby remains sitting pretty in the two spot. In fact, a pair of late season pick ups could suddenly put Colby back as the favorite. Mike Evans has been fantastic and is on the verge of cracking the top-10 among receivers. More importantly, I think we’re going to start seeing Isaiah Crowell in Colby’s starting lineup after a 296-point effort. Remember, there is a reason why Cleveland cut Ben Tate.  2015 KEEPERS: DeMarco Murray (Rd 1), Mike Evans (Rd 8), Alshon Jeffery (Rd 15)  Since Colby will be drafting in the back half of the first-round, Murray is a no-brainer first-round keeper, while Jeffery remains a steal in round fifteen. However, in round two Colby has a few great options. If Crowell remains the starter in Cleveland, he’s a solid keeper in round six, as is Rasheed Jennings and don’t forget that he traded for Kelvan Benjamin. However, Mike Evans looks like a star in the making and can be kept in round eight.  3. MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  The star power remains, as Matt got 1,042 points from just three players (Eddie Lacy, Dez Bryant and Demaryius Thomas). The latter two gives Matt the best receiving duo in the league. However, he definitely needs Arian Foster back. Blue can put up a good game or two, but he’s not consistent enough. Meanwhile, the TE spot remains a huge hole and Mark Sanchez won’t be able to keep up with Aaron Rodgers come playoff time.  2015 KEEPERS: Eddie Lacy (Rd 4), Anquan Boldin (Rd 7), James Stark (Rd 14)  While Eddie Lacy remains a great keeper in round four, that’s about all Matt has going into 2015. He basically has to pick between Anquan Boldin or Keenan Allen in category two. I go with Boldin for now only because he’s more consistent and he’s available for one more year. In category three, getting Lacy’s handcuff is Matt’s best option.  4. SUPER DUPERS  I had Burrier penciled in for a loss, but then Justin Forsett rolled for a career-high 500 fantasy points. He got a total of 844 points from his two running backs (Forte was the other) and he nearly hit 1,600 even though Andrew Luck haf a quiet day. Yet, despite winning seven of his last nine, I just don’t see Rich eliminating the elites with his receiving core and tight end. Fact is, he’s 0-3 against the top three teams in this league.  2015 KEEPERS: Matt Forte (1), Justin Forsett (6), DeAndre Hopkins (13)  Speaking of amazing back field, there is no reason Forte and Forsett can’t do it again for the Dupers in 2015. Forte is a solid keeper, even in round one, while Forsett can be had in the sixth. Hopkins should be a star receiver in this league, if only the Texans can get him a quarterback.  5. MOLLIPOP  Molly continues to play roto-running back and at the very least she’s having some success. This week she went with Ahmad Bradshaw’s replacement in Dan Herron. Despite sharing carries with Richardson, Herron did manage 96 yards. He had just 83 total yards heading into the game. Time will tell if he’s a long-term solution. It’s not like he’s going to start rolling off 200+ games. Molly did get 276 points from Blount in his return to New England, but you simply can’t trust Bill Belichick.  2015 KEEPERS: T.Y. Hilton (Rd 5), Russell Wilson (Rd 10), LeGarrette Blount (Rd 12)  Obviously T.Y. Hilton is a must-keep. He’s a solid receiver with a great quarterback. These two should become the next great QB-RB combo. Russell Wilson’s name still doesn’t get a lot of love in fantasy football, but he’s currently fourth in the league in points among all quarterbacks. Molly could keep Martellus Bennett in round 13 and insert him into her starting lineup, but if Blount can keep getting carries, maybe he’s worth a look in round 12.  6. WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  Griff is suddenly making his move and he’s doing it against the big boys. During his four-week run, he’s taken down both Bob and now Colby and is now the fifth seed (he would face Burrier in round one). The best part is he’s doing it with no running game, as Charles Sims and Shane Vereen delivered just 186 points. Instead, he relied on Manning’s 420 points (he’s back as the top QB in the league) and I think we all saw what Odel Beckham can do (he produced 408 points).  2015 KEEPERS: Jimmy Graham ( Rd 2), Charles Sims (Rd 6) and Odell Beckham (Rd 14)  Not sure Griff will love keeping Graham early in the second round, but he’s his best option. Charles Sims has done nothing to prove he’s a good keeper for next year, but the rest of the Bucs backfield is crap, so maybe by next year, Sims will lock up the starting job. If not, Delanie Walker is a solid keeper in round nine, but if Griff ends up keeping Graham, why keep two tight ends? In category three, Beckham is a absolute steal.  LYNCH COBB  Remember when this team was 4-0? Yeah, so long ago. He’s now dropped six of eight (and one of those wins was against me so that doesn’t even count, right?). This was just his second game below 1,000 in his last 36. For the third straight week he made the wrong choice at the quarterback, picking Cutler (86 points) over Ryan (224). He continues to have no tight end and if he doesn’t get huge performances from his running backs, he can’t win.  2015 KEEPERS: Randall Cobb (Rd 2), Mark Ingram (10), Chris Ivory (Rd 13)  Depending on how far he goes in the post-season, I have to believe Cobb is the better keeper in round two over Lynch in round one. Ingram has been fantastic when he’s healthy and should be a solid keep in round 10. I would not want Ivory in my starting lineup, but as bye-week insurance, Rob could do worse in round 13.  TWO  Thanks to Justin Forsett helping Burrier defeat his son, Don remains as the 8-seed and controls his own destiny. Here’s the deal. If he beats Jeff next week, he’s in. If he loses, then he’ll need Calderon to loss to Masterson. While neither Don or Rich has the kind of squad that is going to scare the top-seed Bob, both do have a long history of pulling off stunning first-round upsets.  2015 KEEPERS: Gio Bernard (Rd 1), Denard Robinson (Rd 6)  Not a lot of great options for Don, but he does pull in a couple of solid keepers. With his injury, Bernard will now have to share carries in Cincinnati, which hurts. He’s still a solid RB2 at worst, but is that worth a first-round pick? Robinson has certainly earned the starting job in 2015 and would be a solid keeper in round six.  THE DICK-TATERS  Calderon. Poor, Calderon. He just has not caught the breaks this season. Yet, here he is. He still has a chance to defend his title…maybe. Right now Rich is outside looking in. He’s tied with Don at 5-8, but he’s 609 points down in total points. Could he make that up? Certainly. One bad game by Don and one good game by Rich will make that happen. However, we have to assume if Rich outscores Don by that many points, he will win and Don will lose and in the end, that’s all that needs to happen.  2015 KEEPERS: Jeremy Hill (Rd 5), Julius Thomas (Rd 9)  Calderon absolutely loves Hill, so keeping him in round five is a guarantee. In category two, Rich has a pair of backs who could be good keepers. Tre Mason is the starter in St. Louis and can be had in round six. Carlos Hyde is a solid keep if Frank Gore retires in SF. However, Julius Thomas may be too hard to pass up in round nine.  JEFF (WHATEVER HIS TEAM NAME IS THIS WEEK)  It’s time to just look ahead. I have to assume at this point, Jeff will lock up the second pick, although if he wins next week and Eric loses, he could move up to the third pick. Why does this matter? Read below.  2015 KEEPERS: Jamaal Charles (Rd 1), C.J. Anderson (Rd 6), Ravens DST (Rd 14)  Jamaal Charles would be an excellent first-pick in the draft for me. The kind of player to get me back on track. However, since Jeff doesn’t have Bell to keep anymore, Charles may be his best keeper, which would make Charles (whether he’s picked 2/3) the earliest player kept. Anderson is not a lock to start in Denver next year, but Jeff better hope he is. He’d be a stud keep. In category three, he doesn’t have much, so why not a solid Ravens DST?  JOHNNY HANCOCK  Oh so close. Eric was so close to becoming the first 1-6 team to rally for a playoff spot. Instead, he’ll miss the post-season for the 10th time in 14 seasons. Ouch. Let’s look ahead.  2015 KEEPERS: Tom Brady (Rd 5), Sammy Watkins (Rd 10), Brandon LaFall (Rd 14)  Eric was smart to trade for Brady. He’s an excellent keeper in round five for at least one more year. Watkins has been inconsistent, but he’s had some huge games and can be penciled in as a starter in round 10. In category three, Eric can keep Sproles (11) and Percy Harvin (11), but I sort of like LaFall in round 14.  CHARLES BRONSON  It’s amazing what a “hit or miss” fantasy owner I have become. Since 2003, I’ve earned multiple top seeds and scoring titles. I’ve been to four championship games and won a title in 2012. Yet, I’ve now missed the playoffs five times in the last 11 seasons. Only Jeff and Eric have done worse.  2015 KEEPERS: Josh Gordon (Rd 10), Jeremy Maclin (Rd 13)  Looking ahead, I failed to land a category one keeper, which is sort of disappointing. However, Gordon and Maclin make up a decent WR duo heading into 2015, plus I’ll get the top pick and three of the top 25 picks. 

WEEK THIRTEEN

Charles Bronson at Quarter Pounders, 1373 – 1655 My Ball Zach Ertz at The Dick-Taters, 1644 – 2163 Mollipop at Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes, 1611 – 958 Lynch Cobb at Johnny Hancock, 1205 – 1109 GronkowSki School 2 at Super Dupers, 2089 – 2117 Popular Internet Meme at Two, 971 – 985

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Okay folks, the season is a wrap. For now, I’m going to avoid discussing my thoughts moving forward…I’ll save those for post-season predictions. Instead, let’s focus on what has happened this year.  #1 GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  Bob started the season losing his first game and ended the season on top, which is surprisingly a common result. Teams that finished the seasons as the top seed, are just 7-8 in week one. In fact, Bob becomes the fifth team to start the year with the week’s lowest score. Even more impressive is that he’s doing it with just three starters who began the season as a starter for him in week one.  #2 QUARTER POUNDERS  It seems like so long ago that Colby sat in first place at 7-1. Yet, despite the fact he has dropped three of four before earning a week 13 bye-week (called Robio), he isn’t really struggling. In fact, he’s entering the post-season with three straight 1,500-point games. I guess when a quarter of the league is breaking 2,000, those kind of games get overlooked.  #3 MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Despite dropping three of his last five entering the playoffs, Matt looks primed to make a move. It helps that he has a star running back like Arian Foster, who can miss three weeks of football and walk back in and score 270 fantasy points without a warm up game. #4 SUPER DUPERS  It’s still sort of amazing that just 10 weeks ago, when we discussed Burrier and his team, we were referencing some of the worst fantasy teams in league history. Remember at that time, he had just tied David, Griff and myself for longest losing streak in league history (9 straight). All season long I’ve been talking about the big three (Bob, Colby, Matt), but it might be time to start talking about the big four.  #5 MOLLIPOP  At one point this season Molly had dropped four straight, five of six and six of eight, often starting one running back who didn’t even start on an actual NFL roster. Yet, despite not locking up a great back, she continues to ride individual performances, like this week where she got 396 from Big Ben and 438 from Julio Jones. Over the last three weeks, these two have combined to score just 353 points per game.  #6 LYNCH COBB  Heading into the season, Masterson was second all-time in percentage of his games being 1,500+ games. He had scored over 1,500 in 29.2% of his 171 games, averaging nearly four per season. Only three other times has Rob had one or less 1,500-point games and all three of those seasons he failed to make the playoffs. However, this season he’s still a respectable seventh in scoring and is set to return to the playoffs despite producing just one 1,500-point game.  #7 WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  Griff averaged just 1,288 points per game this year. That’s not a tragic number, but it’s the fourth lowest in Griff’s career. The three other seasons he failed to average 1,300…he missed the playoffs those years. If he wants to continue his six-season 9-game winning streak, he’s going to need to reach the finals this year. Luckily for him, that’s something he’s been good at (he did it for a sixth time last year).  #8 THE DICK-TATERS  Calderon sneaking into the playoffs in 2003 remains the greatest magic trick I’ve seen (back then wins versus was the top tiebreaker), but this one wasn’t too bad either. The fact is, Rich picked the perfect time to have his best game of the year. Hell, does anyone even realize that Rich had the week’s high score with 2,163 points (after all my chatter was about Bob/Burrier)? It’s the first time ever three teams broke 2,000 on the same weekend.  OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN  #9 TWO  It’s official, the man who use to rule this league as the 7-seed can’t even get to the 7-spot. Don has now missed the playoffs three straight years, becoming just the second person in league history to do so. The other is also a Vozzola, which means the name Vozzola is starting to become a new term for losing.  #10 JOHNNY HANCOCK  Of course, while Bob started the season on a low note, only to rally for a great year, Eric went the opposite route. He started the season with a solid 1,600+ performance in a win over Burrier in week one. Yet, he wouldn’t taste victory against until week eight. In fact three of his four wins came against the two teams last in the standings (Robio, Jeff) and Calderon, who finished 9th in scoring.  #11 POPULAR INTERNET MEMO  Luckily for Jeff, Eric keeps missing the playoffs, so he can avoid being named worst team in the league each year. At least he has that baseball title to defend starting in a few months.  #12 CHARLES BRONSON  After Bob won his back-to-back titles, I put Bob first in my all-time team rankings. However, after I brought home my fourth title in 2012 and earned a top-seed and scoring title the following year, I moved myself back up. However, this will be the fifth time in 11 seasons I’ve missed the playoffs and the second time in six years I’ve finished dead last. At some point, my inconsistency is going to be a concern. 

QUARTERFINALS

The Dick-Taters at GronkowSki School 2, 1171 – 2333 Mollipop at Super Dupers, 2013 – 1281 Lynch Cobb at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1099 – 1471 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Quarter Pounders, 1626 – 1208

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Four games and four teams down and now just four teams and three games remain. We continue to see fantasy points we’ve never before, as two more teams hit 2,000. That’s five 2,000-point games in the last 10 games. Stunning. Bob is now just 2,347 points away from breaking Matt’s all-time record for points in a full season (regular and post). That means he just needs to average 1,174 points per game (assuming he plays two more games) to break the record.  FINAL FOUR  1. GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  Bob just keeps rolling, becoming the first person in league history to produce back-to-back 2,000-point games. His 2,333 points is the third most points scored in a game. Bob got a stunning 1,076 from his two dump trade players, but look on the bright side, he still would have won 1,371 – 1,171 if you replace Bell/Megatron for C.J. Anderson/Fitzgerald.  However, let’s talk about Bell. The Steelers running back has delivered 1,722 points in his last three games (averaging 574 points). It’s the greatest three-game stretch by a running back ever. Put it this way, the two running backs I drafted to lead my team, Monte Ball and Doug Martin, have combined to score just 1,242 points all season long.  3. MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  The bad news is, if Matt was playing any of the other winners this week, he would have lost. However, that doesn’t matter. A win is a win and the beauty of Matt’s team is one week he can get his big points from the wide receivers, then the next he’ll get it from his running backs. This week, the former (Dez, Demaryius) had one of their worst weeks, scoring 186 combined points. However, Lacy and Foster made up for it, scoring 688 points. On top of that, the Rams defense is suddenly deadly, producing back-to-back shutouts, delivering a pair of 300+ games.  However, the two spots I’ve said Matt is weak at; quarterback and tight end, continue to struggle. He got just 150 total from Rivers and Rudolph. That may be good enough to win this and probably next week, but that won’t beat Bob.  5. MOLLIPOP  For just the third time in her career, Molly scored over 2,000 and she did it despite -73 from a bad Saints defense. All season long she’s been riding Hilton and Sanders more than Jones, but Julio has picked the right time to suddenly wake up. In his last two games, he’s been targeted 29 times, caught 21 passes for 448 yards and a pair of touchdowns.  7. WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  All season long it has been Colby with the wide receiver advantage with both Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery, plus Mike Evans. However, it has been Griff’s receivers that have been dominating lately. This week, his two studs were once again A.J. Green (who is now healthy) and Odel Beckham. The former was a first-round pick, the latter lasted until the 14th. Yet, they combined for 846 points this week, making up for Peyton Manning’s worst performance.  DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT  2. QUARTER POUNDERS  It’s a game you shouldn’t play, but let’s do it anyhow. If Colby would have started Mike Evans over Kelvan Benjamin, Kelce over Reed and either the Bills or Charges DST (which would have been insane based on their opponents) over the Bengals, Colby would have beat Griff, (if he started the Chargers) 1,663 – 1,626. Instead, he gets to spend the offseason figuring out why his season’s end too early and why he can’t beat Griff, who has beaten him four times in Colby’s last 15 games.  Colby’s awards the previous three seasons…  2012 – Most disappointed team  2013 – Most disappointed team  2014 – Worst playoff collapse  4. SUPER DUPER  In the end, the receiving core that was suspect all season long, came back and haunted Rich. Hopkins, Hurns and Donnell combined for just 286 points, less than half of what Molly’s Julio Jones did by himself. Good bye Andrew Luck, it’s been a good run.  6.LYNCH COBB  It’s not surprising that Masterson was the low scorer for the week. He clearly didn’t have the goods, getting 59% of this week’s points from two sources; Jay Cutler and Marshawn Lynch. Everyone else took the week off.  8. THE DICK-TATERS  The defending champ goes down hard. His 1,162-point margin of defeat is the second largest in post-season history. At least he can’t blame Jeff for his defeat, since he would have lost to Bob without Bell. Once again, LeSean McCoy proved to be a win-killer, as he produced just 50 yards and a fumble. 

SEMIFINALS

Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at GronkowSki School 2, 1306 – 1512 Mollipop at My Ball Zach Ertz, 929 – 1679

TUESDAY THOUGHT

Let’s be honest…this is the title game we wanted to see. No offense to either Coomer, but we got a championship match up that features the two best teams in the league. It will be (1) Bob vs (3) Matt, two teams that are a combined 5-0 in the title game.  (1) GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  As I warned in my predictions, this was going to be the week Bob’s squad would leave the window open, granted 1,500+ points isn’t much of an opening. Facing the top pass defense in the league, Aaron Rodgers produced just 106 points, yet for Bob to lose, he would need a couple other players to under perform. They didn’t, led by another amazing outing by Bell (358), Brown (246) and the Gronk (252).  As for the impact of Bob’s last season trades, this time the trade may have been the difference. If he was starting C.J. Anderson (192) and Larry Fitzgerald (60) instead of Bell/Megatron, Bob would have lost with that lineup, 1306 – 1300. However, if these trades didn’t happen, Bob would still have had Tom Brady and I have to believe he would have started him at home against the Dolphins over Rodgers in Buffalo. In that case, Bob wins easily.  (3) MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Despite getting just 68 points from his quarterback, Matt would have beaten everyone this week, including Bob. He got 510 points from his backs and 714 from his receivers. Of course scoring the most in the semis isn’t always a blessing. In fact, the team that scores the highest point total in the semis is just 5-10 in the finals. However, if it makes Matt feel any better, he’s two of the five (2007 and 2009) winners. I did it twice (1999 and 2011) and Calderon did it last year.  SEE YA NEXT YEAR  MOLLIPOP  It looks like Molly’s horses just ran out of gas at the end. With Julio Jones out, her receivers came up small, as Hilton and Sanders combined for just (206 points). She decided to go two back for the first time since week one and the moved didn’t pay off, as Blount and Johnson combined for just 218 points. In fact, the only person to break 150 was the Panthers DST (197).  WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  While Griff failed to reach nine wins for a sixth straight season, he did mange to get to eight wins for a 7th straight year and I’m confident that is a record. I’ll be honest, I’m shocked he won that many as little went right for this team. Manning struggled in the back half of the season, A.J. Green was hurt for most of the year. His running back situation was a disaster and even Jimmy Graham struggled to live up to the hype. The good new is, no one has a better keeper heading into 2015 than Odell Beckham in the 14th round. Let’s be honest…this is the title game we wanted to see. No offense to either Coomer, but we got a championship match up that features the two best teams in the league. It will be (1) Bob vs (3) Matt, two teams that are a combined 5-0 in the title game.  (1) GRONKOWSKI SCHOOL 2  As I warned in my predictions, this was going to be the week Bob’s squad would leave the window open, granted 1,500+ points isn’t much of an opening. Facing the top pass defense in the league, Aaron Rodgers produced just 106 points, yet for Bob to lose, he would need a couple other players to under perform. They didn’t, led by another amazing outing by Bell (358), Brown (246) and the Gronk (252).  As for the impact of Bob’s last season trades, this time the trade may have been the difference. If he was starting C.J. Anderson (192) and Larry Fitzgerald (60) instead of Bell/Megatron, Bob would have lost with that lineup, 1306 – 1300. However, if these trades didn’t happen, Bob would still have had Tom Brady and I have to believe he would have started him at home against the Dolphins over Rodgers in Buffalo. In that case, Bob wins easily.  (3) MY BALL ZACH ERTZ  Despite getting just 68 points from his quarterback, Matt would have beaten everyone this week, including Bob. He got 510 points from his backs and 714 from his receivers. Of course scoring the most in the semis isn’t always a blessing. In fact, the team that scores the highest point total in the semis is just 5-10 in the finals. However, if it makes Matt feel any better, he’s two of the five (2007 and 2009) winners. I did it twice (1999 and 2011) and Calderon did it last year.  SEE YA NEXT YEAR  MOLLIPOP  It looks like Molly’s horses just ran out of gas at the end. With Julio Jones out, her receivers came up small, as Hilton and Sanders combined for just (206 points). She decided to go two back for the first time since week one and the moved didn’t pay off, as Blount and Johnson combined for just 218 points. In fact, the only person to break 150 was the Panthers DST (197).  WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES  While Griff failed to reach nine wins for a sixth straight season, he did mange to get to eight wins for a 7th straight year and I’m confident that is a record. I’ll be honest, I’m shocked he won that many as little went right for this team. Manning struggled in the back half of the season, A.J. Green was hurt for most of the year. His running back situation was a disaster and even Jimmy Graham struggled to live up to the hype. The good new is, no one has a better keeper heading into 2015 than Odell Beckham in the 14th round. 

FINALS

My Ball Zach Ertz at GronkowSki School 2, 1494 – 1495

TUESDAY THOUGHT