Welcome to the 2014 preseason predictions. It’s time to checkout every team and tell you honestly how bad your squad really is. Yet, being that we are entering year sixteen of Robioland football, everyone has to be pretty damn bored of what I have to say. I fucking am. So this year, I got someone special for you. We have a guest writer. That’s right. He’s handsome, he’s Jewish and most importantly, he knows football. I provided him all of the league’s rosters. I gave him no indication of which squad belongs to whom and I didn’t tell him anything about the keepers or where players were drafted. I asked him to look at each roster and give me a quick summary of each team and then ranked them. As you will see, luckily for us, this man doesn’t believe in a “quick summary.”

1. CHARLES BRONSON

The new O coordinator in Dallas is Scott Linehan, who was the O coordinator in Detroit the past few years. He loves to pass, evidenced by Matt Stafford leading the league in attempts two out of the last 3 years. Add in what should be an extremely porous Dallas defense and you’ve got the perfect recipe for Romo and Dez to set new career highs across the board.

As you may have started to figure out by now, I’m a guy who believes in systems, and the system that Peyton Manning runs turns average players like Joe Addai and Knowshon Moreno into fantasy gold. Peyton can do this because he’s a magician, not a wizard mind you (see the magic documentary The Prestige for the difference), but a magician. He’s a master at misdirection. When Peyton says “Omaha” he’s encouraging his audience to look at him, and then look at the WR he’s sent in motion. Meanwhile, his assistant (Ball) is completely forgotten about, that’s when Peyton changes the play and Ball trots leisurely in for 6. Thus, I am betting that Peyton will get Montee Ball into the end zone just about every game this season and that he’ll be among the top 5 or so at his position. Hanging out with better looking dudes is a great way to get laid, they can’t fuck all the girls, and in fantasy football terms, Peyton Manning is about as handsome as they come. Montee Ball, enjoy your run off pussy.

Doug Martin has been looking a little iffy. He had a somewhat misleading rookie year where he got just about every touch, but outside of one monster game, and a few other good ones, he was mediocre. In his sophmore year he was again mediocre before getting hurt. Now the guy (Greg Schiano) whose gameplan seemed to be “give it to Doug” is out of town and the new coaching staff WAS talking about the need for backs sharing time. Then Charles James got hurt, and now it’s all “Doug is our Bellcow.”

Opportunity trumps talent most of the time in FF, and Doug is now looking at a golden one. He has a tough schedule, but the Bucs just traded for Logan Mankins, and he’s mean guy who has cleared holes for the Pats with great success for years. Cuddling up to the Muscle Hamster seems like a fine idea.

Ahh, Joique Bell, the man whose first name defies logic and the Romance languages. He passed my eye test last year, and now he’s just a cunt hair (ahem, a Reggie Bush injury) away from being a full time starter. He makes a fine flex, and an excellent 3rd back. Keenan Allen plays in a run first offense, but he is a bigger WR (which usually means Red Zone efficiency), he runs excellent routes, and he’s also Phillip Rivers primary target, a role that has almost without exception turned into a fantasy jackpot. Antonio Gates, Vincent Jackson, even Danario Alexander (check out his 2nd half 2012 stats, they’re fantastic) have benefitted highly from this, and barring injury, Allen will be the beneficiary this year.

Kinda like Rivers, but even more so, Cam Newton usually has eyes for just one guy. It was Steve Smith, but he got old, now it’s Kelvin Benjamin. A huge dude (oh hai Redzone success) who will likely see something in the range of 150 targets, Kelvin is going to be an increasingly hot commodity (see what I did there Mr. Orso? yea, and you gave me a C in chemistry, asshole.)

I have no love for Vernon Davis because I do not like boom or bust (read unpredictablel) players. VD caught a hell of a lot of TDs last year, but with Crabtree back in the lineup later in the year he started to disappear, 8 total receptions in hte last 5 games. DO NOT WANT. However, he’s a physical specimen, and the best deep threat on the niners, so its hard to be totally down on the guy. Add in the Seahawks D, and I’d say this team is not to be triffled with.

2. QUARTER POUNDERS

There have been eight 5,000 passing yard seasons in the history of the NFL. Four of them belong to Drew Brees. Three out of the last four years, Brees has passed for 5,000 yards. There’s no such thing as a lock for 5,000 yards, but Brees is a lock for 5,000 yards.  Jay Cutler will likely not put up numbers that Gaudy, but he’s got all his toys from last year back, and between himself and McCown last season, the bears QB position was good for QB4 overall.  One of these Qbs is liable to get traded, and likely for an impact player. 

Speaking of which, Demarco is money in the bank.  In Scott Linehan’s offense its very possible he’ll set a career high in catches, and with one of the best lines in football blocking for him and what should be a very productive Dallas passing offense, he’s ready to pile up rushing yards.  Rashad Jennings looks like he might be the only consistent value on the Giants. He’s underrated, and a good bet to pick up where he left off for the Raiders last year, a good player on a bad team that will be forced to pass to its running backs with regularity. MJD looked done last year, but he looked spry in the preseason, and the Raiders line is built to run block.  I suspect there’s a comback player of the year award in his future, and a very solid RB2 fantasy season.

There very well could be 3,000 yards and 20 toundowns combined for Marshall and Jeffery this year, and although the Giants look pathetic thus far, Victor Cruz is bound to put up at least WR3 numbers.  Jordan Reed has a long concussion history. He missed the end of last season with a severe one, and is at a higher risk going forward because of it. When he plays though, he’s likely to be a center piece of the washington offense.

3. THE DICK-TATERS

Matt Stafford might improve as a real life player, but I think his fantasy prospects are on the decline. The new offense is based on the Saints offense, but I don’t think it’s going to work quite as well without Sean Payton and Brees. Stafford was already in an incredible pass happy offense, so while he could easily improve on last years disappointments, the highs of yesteryear are not likely to be repeated. 

Shady on the other hand, will fucking kill you.  I think it’s very likely he could repeat last year. The Eagles have that much more experience in Chip Kelly’s system, and while they lost Desean Jackson, an impending emergence of Zach Ertz, and the return of Jeremy Maclin should make up for it.  They also return one of the very best lines in football completely intact.

The Rams were a very run oriented offense without Sam Bradford last year, and finding themselves in the exact same position this year, they’ll likely do it again. Stacy isn’t the flashiest RB in the league, or the most effective, but he’s in line for a lot of carries and red zone touches.

I actually think Jeremy Hill may eventually become the main back in Cincy, but for now he’s coming off the bench. Nonetheless, OC Hugh Jackson loves to run the ball, and their could be enough work for Hill to make a viable flex. Sjax starts, and that’s the nicest thing I can say about him.  The Falcons have a good offense though, and he’ll be mildy productive when he’s on the field. 

Jordy Nelson is underrated. Last year when Rogers was healthy Nelson was on pace for over 1600 yards.  I think they’ll pick up where they left off. Michael Floyd is a big boy playing in a vertical passing offense.  Coach Bruce Arians loves to go deep, and he does it with regularity. Add in the fact that the Cards d has now lost three of their most important players, and it should go without saying that floyd will have lots of chances to go up and get the ball.

Marques Colston is healthy again, and is still Brees’ second favorite target. Thats a nice place to be. Orange Julius only projects to build on last year. Welker is out for a quarter of the season, and Eric Decker, who was JT’s primary competition for RZ catches, now plays in the Dirty Jerz.

4. LYNCH MOB

Matt Ryan may have lost Tony Gonzalez, but Julio Jones is back, his line should be improved, and for now he has a healthy Steven Jackson.  30 tds and 4000 yards are well within his reach. The Browns hired Kyle Shannahan in the offseason, and where he goes, a productive running game follows. As the 3 down back on a team that is light on passing weapons, Tate is in line for a significant workload. He should thrive until he gets hurt, but until he does it’s off to the races. The Seahawks seem ready to give Russell Wilson more responsibility, but they gave Lynch a raise in the offseason to keep him happy, and it’s pretty clear that they intend to ride him hard one last time.

Vjax will be the main passing weapon for the Bucs again, and the presence of Mike Evans is a blessing in a disguise. Evans should be able to draw attention, forcing coverage away from Jackson. Low end WR1 numbers should be expected.  As one of Arod’s primary receivers Cobb is in line for another big season. As long as he can stay on the field he’s looking at minimum  1000 yards and 8 tds.  Kenny Britt has showed promise, but never really delivered, and Brandin Cooks is as hyped as they come. They could both break out, but neither are likely to offer every week consistency.

The Browns will have to pass sometimes, and when they do you can be sure the first read is usually going to be Jordan Cameron. He should be able to repeat last years strong TE1 numbers.   The Patriots defense is quietly amongst the best in the league now that they’ve added Revis Island.

5. FOLEATIO

Or Foles Gold?  Last year Foles tossed 27 tds and only 2 ints. Peyton Manning had a pretty nice year, but Foles’ ratio was the best of ALL TIME.  I don’t think I’m going out on much of a limb saying that he cannot and will not repeat that success. Do I believe he’ll be a good solid QB? Absolutely, the system in Philly still has defenses scratching their heads, and he has a lot of weapons to pass to.  All I’m saying is a repeat of last year is not in the cards, he’s bound to regress closer to the average. 

Rivers might play on a run first team, but he was extremely efficient with his chances last year, and now with Keenan Allen set to play a full season (he only started 12 games last year) there’s no reason he can’t improve.

Eddie Lacy, gotta love him. He’s got talent, he was at times dominant last season, and he plays next to arguably the best QB in football.  He won’t see many stacked boxes, but he will see a lot of goal line opportunities. Arian Foster is in a new offense, and that’s not a good thing.  Former coach Gary Kubiak ran the Shannahan offense, and for the guys with the correct skill set (which Arian has) there’s probably no better situation in fantasy football for a RB.  Foster is not looking at a possible return to the top ff running back.  However, he is looking a fine situation, new coach Bill O’Brien  was the O coordinator for the Patriots when BJGE had 11 touchdowns on 181 carries.  I expect Foster to get more carries and more catches than the law firm, but less RZ opportunities.  10 touchdowns seems reasonable if (big if) Foster can stay healthy.  

Legarette Blunt might just smoke le’veon bell this season, but more likely these two will be in a timeshare, based on ADP that makes Blount a solid pick, and Bell a bust.  Knowshon is another nice value pick. Lamar Miller is currently the starter, but Montee Ball was the projected starter in Denver last year, and even though Moreno was the beneficiary of Peyton Manning’s “runoff pussy” last year, he’s still a viable NFL back.  

The running backs look good, but the Wrs look even better. Now that Decker is gone, DT is in an arguably  better situation than he was the last two years when he put up a combined 2800 yards. Corradelle Patterson is a special athlete, and with Norv Turner calling the plays he’s in a great position to make the most of it.  Last year in the same offense, Josh Gordon put up 117/ypg. If Patterson can put up even 75% of what Gordon did last year, he’ll have 1400 yards. 

Jeremy Maclin will take over the Djax role in Philly, moving all over the formation, and likely being the target leader in an offense that spreads things out to the point where it’s impossible to pay close attention to any single player. If he can sustain health he’ll be a draft steal.

Similarly, Mike Wallace is also taking over the Djax role from Philly last year, his new coach was the QB coach in Philly and should be installing a similar offense.  That means Wallce will be moved around the field, looking for the best possible mismatch.  Ertz too is in that impressive Philly offense, he’s a very good route runner, and although he’ll share time with Celek in two TE formations,  he’s the superior receiver, and an ideal RZ threat. He made very good use of his limited targets last year, and all that remains between him and fantasy stardom is usage.

6. FLORIDA ASSHOLE

As previously discussed, Peyton Manning bamboozled the entire NFL last year. His arm may be weakening, but his mind is sharpening.  There’s almost no way he can repeat last year’s numbers, but 40 tds and 5000 yards is probably his floor.  

The Pats are always hard to read, but if I’ve divined the tea leaves properly, they are planning on moving away from the power run game, to a more spread out short passing game.  They let their most trusted inside runner (Blount) walk, traded away run blocking specialist Logan Mankins, and Brady is openly talking about wanting to get the ball to Vereen. There will probably be weeks where he’s a decoy, but his arrow is pointing straight up.

CJ Spiller is a fantastic talent, but the Bills seemed determined not to maximize it.  I trust him, but not them, and would not be surprised to see him dissapoint again. Pierre Thomas caught 70 balls last year, and with Darren Sproles now gone, he should catch even more. 

Garcon lead the league in targets last year, but now he’s in an new offense that doesn’t feature his position in the same way, and will have to share with Djax.  He’s not a WR1 this year, but AJ Green still is.  The offense might be changing, but Green is still a top talent in the league and virtually uncoverable. A top 10 finish is virtually assured. 

Kendall Wright catches a lot of passes, but not a lot of Tds, if he can change that he can become WR2, if not he’s a borderline WR3.  Jimmy Graham is golden. He’s the favorite target of the most prolific QB in the NFL, and he’s a mismatch for every defensive player in the league.  He’s arguably the most value player in fantasy football due to his VORP (value over replacement player).

7. GronkowSKI School 2

Stacked at QB, it probably doesn’t matter which guy he plays, as long as they’re healthy they’re going to perform. Scam, for all his inconsistency, has finished as a top 5 ff qb since he arrived on the scene. 

I’m assuming Ski School got some kind of discount on him, because he probably won’t see the field much with Arod and his equally high ceiling, but much higher floor hanging around.  It’s an embarrassment of riches and I wouldn’t be surprised to see one of the two get traded to ol John Hancock, who must have been fapping it during the draft, because his QB situation is murky.  Gerhart for Scam? Make it happen!

Anyway…what FJ has in Qbs he lacks in Rbs, maybe. Lamar Miller is in a good situation and the coaches have said nice things, but the line in Miami is suspect (it was trash last year, and will be without its best player for the beginning of the year, center Mike Pouncey).   They did however sign Branden Albert from KC to play LT, and he’s one of the better blocking LTs in the league.  In addition, and perhaps more importantly, they hired a new Offensive Coordinator, Bill Lazor. Cool name, and the system he comes from is pretty cool too, last year he was the Qbs coach in Philly.  I think it goes without saying that Miami will get more production from their Rbs this year, the question is how big a chunk of that will belong to Miller. Knowshon Moreno lurks in the wings, and Miller has looked pedestrian in the pre season.

Ray Rice could be great again, I really have no idea. He’s going to miss the 1st two games, he looked like hot garbage last year, and he’s in a new offensive system.  The new coordinat in Ballmore is Gary Kubiak. He comes from the Shannahan coaching tree, and his system is a chip off the old block. Meaning, ZBS running game, and feeding the X receiver.  His system produced mega points for Steve Slaton and Arian Foster at RB over the years, and it will likely produce for the Ravens this year, the question is will it be Rice or Pierce who is the main beneficiary.  I guess what I’m getting at is, outside of Andre Ellington, there is no slam dunk RB on this team. That position could be a strength or  a weakness, but its too soon to tell. 

At WR we have Larry Fitz, who has moved into Bruce Arian’s slot WR role. This position previously produced a renaissance for Reggie Wayne, and Hines Ward. The guys who plays this position will catch a lot of passes. Expect Fitz to be a very solid contributor, but not a top 5 guy. Antonio Brown on the other hand could be a top 5 guy. He quietly had 1500 yards last year, good for 2nd in the league. 

The Steelers are letting Big Ben go no huddle a lot more this year (so they say) in an effort to get more plays in overall. More plays means more opportunities, and opportunity is the foundation of fantasy football. Antonio Brown is primed for another huge year.  Eric Decker benefitted from playing in Peyton’s magic offense the past few years, but that doesn’t mean he’s a slouch. As the #1 target in the Jets west coast style offense, he will get plenty of opportunity to catch the ball. He’s also a big boy (6’3”) and a serious red zone threat. Before Peyton came to town he manged to catch  a grip of Tds from Kyle Orton.   Expect solid, if not remarkable numbers. 

Gronk is that guy. The guy who you invite to the party knowing that one of two things will happen, it will be a rager and you will have the time of your life or, it will be a rager and someone will die.  Lately, it’s been Gronk playing the dead man, an ACL here, a forearm here and here, some back problems. When he plays he’s as valuable as Jimmy Graham (meaning he’s as valuable as any player in the league), but he often doesn’t play. I’m not telling you anything new, but I am saying that Eric Ebron is no backup plan, not yet anyway. 

The Saints D is underrated, and I expect will cause a lot of turnovers as opponents are forced to catch up to Brees unstoppable force. I see a lot of questions, but also a lot of depth, and my guess is this team will contend.

8. MOLLIPOP

Mollipop, Mollipop, oh  Molli Mollipop, why do you hate Wrs? Julio Jones is a top 5-10 WR, but after that the bottom just drops out. Well, maybe I exaggerrate, but E. Sanders, while in an excellent position with Manning tossing him passes is a bit of an unknown, and will have to share targets with Welker, DT, Orange Julius and Montee Ball. He is probably going to be inconsistent.

TY Hilton is overrated, he gots tons and tons of targets last year when Wayne was hurt, but he didn’t actually make very good use of them efficiency wise, and now Wayne is back, and Nicks is on the scene.  Harry Douglas is more  handcuff for Jones rather than standalone value, and Wheaton, while promising is an unknown.   There are so many known unknowns on this team that I lobby its name get changed to the Rumsfields. 

Dennis Pitta is Joe Flacco’s close friend, and Gary Kubiak’s offense has made solid use of the TE over the years.  However, Owen Daniels only topped 800 yards once in the same spot, and there was never a second WR of Steve Smith’s caliber around to draw targets away from him.  Safe, but limited upside is what I see. 

Chris Johnson’s best feature is that he’s always on the field. Since his 2000 yard season its basically been all downhill, and at a sharp angle. The Jets have of late done a very good job of run blocking, and the WCO they run does pass to the Rbs often, btu i’m still not sold. CJ1K is steady if unremarkable. 

AP is the gem on this team, and this may very well turn out to be his best year. Norv Turner called the plays during Emmitt Smith’s best years, and while Ladanian Tomlinson was making a mockery of fantasy football, and you can bet that Turner is salivating thinking about just what he can do with a once in a generation talent like AP.  The rushing yards were always there, but this year AP should catch far more passes, and I think he’s likely going to finish the year as the top RB in fantasy.  The Qbs are both very underrated, top 12 guys, but neither one is likely to go HAM. Trading one away for a WR would go a long way to helping this team make the playoffs.

9. JOHNNY HANCOCK

Johnny Handcock’s signature appears to be to wait on a QB. I applaud this strategy, especially this year when there are arguable 16 viable starting FF Qbs.  However, having nothing but Manziel, who is currently warming the bench, and whose playing style is somewhat erratic, back up the erratic and oft injured RG3 seems like a risky endeavor. A little Big Ben/Rivers/Wilson would go a long way toward ensuring this teams long term future.  

That said, while QB is a concern, it’s the only one.  Alfred Morris’ demise has been greatly exaggerrated. The Redskins might not run the ball with the same success they did in Shanny’s ZBS scheme, but new Coach Jay Gruden still points the rock, between Gio and BJGE, the Bengals ran the ball 400 times last year.  275 carries is well within reach for Alf, and so is 8 tds, and a solid season as a RB2.

Reggie Bush was dynamic last year for the Lions, and although the offense has changed, Linehan is out, and the Saints offense is in, he’s still in a great position to succeed. Bush is at his best when he can run outside the tackles, and catch passes in the flat, and Linehan’s Pass 1st, Pass 2nd offense gave him lots of opportunities to do just that.  That said, Pierre Thomas and Darren Sproles each caught 70+ passes from the running back position last year, and thats 20 more than Bush each.  Bush will likely see his carries go down from last year, but he’ll catch more passes, and that should even things out. 

Toby Gerhart might just be underrated, and that’s likely due to the color of his skin.   As AP’s caddy the last few years he’s avg. 4.7 ypc, and he ran a 4.53 40 coming out of college.  That’s not blazing, but it’s not plodding, and add in the fact that’s hes 230 lbs with good hand,  and will be a 3 down back in an improving (granted that isn’t saying much) offense, and you more than have yourself a RB3.

What needs to be said about Megatron?  It’s taken for granted that he’s the best WR in the NFL.   And while I won’t argue with that,  I will argue that he may not be the best fantasy WR in the NFL.  In the 4 years before Scott Linehan came to Detroit, Megatron avg about 1070 yards a season. In the 3 years Linehan called the plays, Calvin avg. closer to 1700 yards a season.  That’s an insane difference.  Now we can probably chalk that up to a number of things, not the least of which is improved QB play via the addition of Matt Stafford, and the continued development of Megatron, but the difference is so great that some deeper digging is needed, and I think it comes down to the play calling. 

From 2002-2004 Linehan was the play caller for the Vikings, where he also had a special WR talent, Randy Moss.  In 2003 Moss set a career high in receiving yards, and never topped it, not even in the year he scored 23 tds in NE.   In 2005 Linehan called the plays in Miami, and Chris Chambers put up the only 1000 yard season of his career.  I see a pattern emerging, and you should too.  Linehan is extremely adept at freeing up his Wrs to make plays, and him leaving Detroit will likely effect Megatron in a negative fashion.  Just how much remains to be seen, but if you’re holding out hope for another shot at 2000 yards I think you will be dissapointed. In fact, I wouldnt be surprised to see Dez Bryant lead the league in receiving yards this year, and I bet you can guess why. 

Percy Harvin is a special talent who has had problems staying on the field.  He now plays with a great QB in Russell Wilson, but part of what makes Wilson so good is that he spreads the ball around, and part of what makes Seattle so good is they pound the rock.  Wilson has thrown the ball only 800 times in the last two years.  For reference, Denver, Detroit and NO have thrown the ball about 1300 times in the same period.  Wilson is now in his 3rd year and likely the coaches will put more on his shoulders, but they aren’t going to completely change the way they play, and because of that Harvin’s ceiling is capped. 

Wes Welker is the best slot WR of all time, playing with perhaps the best QB of all time, but even his giant tard helmet can’t keep him from getting Koed, and he’s probably one good hit away from retirement.  Best enjoy it while it lasts. (Update: welker is suspended for a ¼ season and will see his role diminish as the Broncos ready themselves to move on without him next year).  

Torrey Smith on the other hand is ascending.  He is now the x receiving in new play caller Gary Kubiak’s offense.   This is a position that traditionally has been heavily targeted.  The Wrs with the two most targets last year were Pierre Garcon (playing x WR in kyle shanny’s offense) and Andre Johnson (playing x WR in Kubiak’s offense).  This position is usually a target monster, and while Flacco favored Steve Smith in the Ravens dress rehearsal, To. Smith will likely lead the ravens in targets.  Greg Olsen doesn’t offer oodles of upside, btu as the clear 2nd target for the Panthers he’s a solid choice at TE.

10. TWO

Colin Kaepernick went gangbusters in the 9ers opener last season, then fell off a cliff.  In the off season it was revealed that he had hurt his leg, and was unable to run as usual.  Healthy again, and with Crabtree back for a  full season Kaepernick is set for career highs in everything and has as high a ceiling as anyone outside the big 3. 

Gio Bernard is the lead back in an offense that wants to run the ball with consistency. He’s excellent in the open field, and should catch his share of passes. Steven Ridley is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, cloaked in a mystery. There’s no telling how NE will game plan, or whether Ridley can put his fumbling issues in the past. If he can, 1000 yards and 10 tds are very much a possibility. Fred Jackson is ancient for a running back. But he never relied on speed, and is a very steady play as the goal line and 3rd down back in an offense that will need to run early and often.

Andre Johnson is no longer in the incredibly x receiver friendly Kubiak offense, but he’s still a lock to lead the Texans in targets and yards, and shouldn’t have much trouble making it to 1200.  Two seasons ago Michael Crabtree was kaep’s go to guy, but he missed most of 2013, and when he returned the ball was spread fairly evenly between him and Bolden, with Bolden getting the larger portion.  He’s not a lock for WR1 numbers, but he should be a fine WR2.

With Gronk and Vereen back Edelman isn’t likely to catch 100 balls, but he’s still Tom Brady’s go to WR, and should catch 80+ along with a healthy number of tds.  The Cowboys should play more 2TE sets this season, and that cou

11. FLOCK OF DUDES

If Gronk stays healthy so will this teams chances. Geno Smith is not ready, and Brady is not special without Gronk in the lineup. Jamaal Charles will again put up huge numbers as Andy Reid’s feature back, but the 3 best players on his O-line left for greener ($$$$) pastures, and I personally do not think he’ll be as dominant as he was last year, though he’ll still be a no shit RB1.

The Steelers have gone ahead and seemingly made LeGarette Blount Le’Veon Bell’s partner in the backfield, and it looks like theyre going to split the work fairly evenly. Bell has looked good this preseason, he lost weight and is quicker, but his diminished opportunity should mean diminished stats.

Gore is the kid who just stays in the picture, write him off at your own peril. But only pencil him in, because his ceiling is limited by his increasing age, nice floor though. Shonn Greene is one of those sneaky picks, we’ve all seen him, and seen that’s he’s mediocre, but hes currently the starter in TN, and that has value.

I don’t foresee RB being a major problem for the FoD, but WR is another story. Roddy White should bounce back, and make a strong WR2, but Rueben Randle is in a bad situation. It looks good at 1st glance, he’s starting and is the tallest WR on the Giants, and in his 3rd (traditionally the breakout year for Wrs) year. But, he has to catch passes from Eli Manning, and Eli looks scared as shit behind that Magineux line the Giants are fielding. He will struggle for consistency early in the season and theres no guarantee the GMEN get it together offensively later in the year. They’ve hired a guy from the Packers coaching tree, but hes never called plays, and thus far doesn’t seem like he’s been able to teach the Giants the system he wants to play.

Tate, Nicks and Shorts are all fine players, and but none are in ideal situations. Tate is the 2nd WR in a system that will be patterned after Sean Payton’s system in New Orleans. Tate is an excellent talent, but how often did Lance Moore improve fantasy teams? Not often. Nicks quit on the Giants last year, then stuck it to them in the preseason. I have no idea what he’s got left, but he’s the 3rd WR in Indy, so his ceiling is limited unless someone gets hurt (and usually hes the one who is hurt.) Shorts looked dynamic a few seasons ago, but hes been banged up ever since, and has looked unimpressive in the preseason.

Which brings me to Kyle Rudolph. I expect the red zone reindeer to light it up this year. Sure, he has an average QB in Matt Cassel, but with AP in the backfield, opposing teams will be hard pressed to give him the proper attention he deserves. Of course, that’s been the situation the last few years too, and he’s not exactly been lighting it up. Enter Norv Turner, the new O coordinator in MN. You might remember him from such films as “Antonio Gates is a beast” and “Who is Jordan Cameron and why is he so handsome?”

What I’m getting at is, this guy has a scheme that features tight ends, and Rudolph is a talented guy. Is that something you might be interested in? Me too. Dan Bailey has a big leg. A high powered offense and a shit defense should mean he’ll have ample opportunity to show it off. The Chiefs D looked great for awhile last year, then fell apart. They were very turnover dependent, and that’s a finicky thing. Buyer beware.

12. THE SUPER DUDES

The Super Dupers-sound like they’re competing with The Yogi Yahooeys and The Really Rottens. Andrew Luck is primed for a big year. He’s got a lot of weapons to throw to, and what projects to be a fairly weak running game behind him.  No matter how much OC Pep Hamilton professes he wants to run the ball, it’s impossible for him to get around the fact that the Colts best player throws the ball for a living.  Indy hired Rod Chudzinski, former coach of the Browns, and OC in Carolina during Newton’s breakout, to run the passing game. He understands how to get the best out of his Qbs (even journeyman like Brian Hoyer and Jason Campbell), and its hard to imagine him not having a positive effect on Luck.

Conversely, Trent Richardson still looks like a bust. There’s time for that perception to change, but I think the biggest change coming to the Colts running game is Ahmad Bradshaw coming in a changing of the guard. Bishop Sankey is the future in TN, but for now he’s 2nd in line.

Ryan Matthews however makes an excellent rb2, the chargers are going to run the ball plenty, and Matthews is going to be carrying the ball most of the time.  If he can manage to stay mostly healthy like he did last year, and not put the ball on the ground too much he could finish at the top of the rankings. In the last 4 games last year Matthews touched the ball 117 times for 537 yards and 3 tds.  I’m not saying he’s going to put up over 2000 total yards with 12 tds, but I am saying he’s in place for his biggest year ever.

Matt Forte is also in a strong position.  He’s perfect for Marc Trestman’s system, and he thrived in it last year.  There’s no reason to think he can’t duplicate, or even exceed last years numbers.  And for the Super Dupers to be a contender, he’s going to have to, because the receivers leave much to be desired. Terrance Williams numbers should grow, he looked good last year, and is going to be in a more pass happy offense.  Desean Jackson on the other hand is looking at a decline. Last year he was the clear WR1 in a buzzsaw O.  This year he’s got Pierre Garcon on the other side to share targets with him.