Is it me or is our “Keeper King” (Matt) looking more and more like a child rapist?

Keepers are in and it’s time for me to tell you how great you are or how stupid you are. I’ve also ranked you based on who has the best keepers.

1. MATT NEATOCK

Rd 4 – Eddie Lacy, RB GB As a rookie, who didn’t play much during his first two games, Lacy managed to deliver 1,400 total yards and 11 touchdowns, with no Aaron Rodgers throughout most of those games. With a year under his belt and with zero eight-man fronts, Lacy is primed to become one of the league’s premiere backs in the mold of a Marshawn Lynch.

Rd 8 – Nick Foles, QB PHI Starting with a 7-touchdown performance against the Raiders, Foles had one of the greatest eight-game stretches in league history, producing 21 touchdowns and just two interceptions. Of course it probably helped that seven of those opponents featured the 17th, 25th, 26th, 28th, 31st and 32nd rated defense last year. Still, he’s got a ton of weapons in a Chip Kelly offense. There is no reason he won’t compete for first-team All-Robio this year. Not bad for a 8th round pick.

Rd 13 – Jeremy Maclin, WR PHI Okay, this is why Matt drafted Maclin last year. He’s coming off an ACL tear, which is always a little worrisome, but he’s projected to be Nick Foles’ number one target. I mean, outside of Riley Cooper, the two best receivers on this team will be LeSean McCoy and Darren Sproles.

2. RICH CALDERON

Rd 1 – LeSean McCoy, RB PHI Thanks to all of Calderon’s post-season roster moves, LeSean McCoy was the only player Rich was allowed to keep in category one. Well, at least McCoy is a pretty solid solo option. First-team All-Robio running back with the 12th pick…nice.

Rd 9 – Julius Thomas, TE DEN Last year no one even heard of this guy prior to the draft, yet he finished 3rd among all tight ends. There is no reason why he can’t do it all again.

Rd 13 – Zac Stacy, RB STL After three years of DeMarco Murray as a category three keeper, now Rich gets to keep Zac Stacy there (should I mention that I drafted both these guys?). That’s potentially six years worth of starters coming from the back of the draft. No one likes you, Rich.

3. COLBY HALL

Rd 3 – Brandon Marshall, WR CHI Colby will once again go with a pair of Bears’ receivers, starting off with Marshall. It certainly worked last year when he traded for Jeffery and finished the year with two top-10 pair of hands. If I’m Colby, I draft Jay Cutler and dedicate one year of my life as a Bears fan.

Rd 6 – Rashad Jennings, RB NYG Did you see that 70-yard touchdown run the other night? Yes, it was just a preseason game, but with David Wilson officially retiring, the Giants backfield just got a little less crowded. I’m not worried about Peyton Hillis taking too many carries away, but if he can hold off rookie Andre Williams (currently just fourth on the depth chart), then Jennings could be a legit high end RB2, maybe even low-end RB1.

Rd 15 – Alshon Jeffery, WR CHI Stud. Eric really needs to kick himself hard for just cutting Jeffery last year, although I do want to see him become more consistent. He’s sort of like a young Vincent Jackson, as he totalled up 56% of his stats in just five games.

4. ROB MASTERSON

Rd 3 – Vincent Jackson, WR TB This one was a tough decision. Rob could have kept Doug Martin one round earlier. I guess one way to think about it is this, there is a slim chance Martin will be available when Masterson drafts in round two. However, I don’t see any scenario where Jackson lasts to the back of the third-round.

Rd 5 – Josh Gordon, WR CLE Until I know what’s going to happen, it’s hard to say how I feel. If Gordon plays this year, this is one of the best keepers out there. The dude is a pot loving stud. Even if he’s gone, then it’s Ben Tate in round seven. I will say this, there could be worse fall back plans. Tate is tough and the Browns have a decent offensive line. There is also little competition for the former Texans backup. If he wasn’t being kept, I’d take Tate in round three easily.

Rd 11 – Jordan Cameron, TE CLE Gordon or Tate, now Cameron…how many Browns can a guy have? When he had a decent quarterback tossing the ball around, Cameron was an elite tight end, second only to Graham last year. However, when the Browns had to go with less quality arms, Cameron disappeared. I don’t care what anyone is saying, Johnny Football will be the starting quarterback…if not right away, soon. So is he a good quarterback or not?

5. BOB CASTRONE

Rd 4 – Rob Gronkowski, TE NE This one was one of the bigger surprises. I had Bob keeping Giovani Bernard in the third round. After gaining over 1,200 total yards (695 on the ground), scoring eight touchdowns, CBS has the Bengals second year back as the sixth best back in football. That’s not RB1, that’s elite status right there. Yet, Bob went with Tom Brady’s favorite target one round later. It’s a sexy pick that could land Bob around 200+ points per game. However, this is also a guy who has failed to finish the last two seasons.

Rd 6 – Andre Ellington, RB ARI The Cardinals head coach is saying all the right things, promising that Ellington will get more touches than a porn star on her back during a gang bang.  It’s hard not to take him serious. I mean, who is going to take his carries away, Jonathan Dwyer? Since he split carries last year with Mendenhall, let’s assume he takes up 80% of his stats. That means Ellington is good for 1,679 total yards (rushing & receiving) and 11 touchdowns.

Rd 10 – Danny Woodhead, RB SD Last year, the little white boy who could finished 19th among all running backs; not bad for a guy who came off the bench most of the year. He’s always good for a bye-week replacement if the match up is right, but I wouldn’t want to be starting Woodhead every week. Now if Ryan Mathews could have his ACL torn out, then that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

6. ROBIO MURRAY

Rd 3 – Montee Ball, RB DEN Molly’s 2013 folly could be pay dirt for me in 2014. Ball looked decent at the end of last season; good enough in fact, the Broncos let Moreno go and handed the keys to the backfield to Ball. The third-round is a solid spot for a projected top-10 running back. He can thank Peyton Manning for his bump. The fact is, 11 times Manning’s top running back has gained over 1,300 yards and 12 times they have scored at least 10 TDs.

Rd 7 – Keenan Allen, RB SD This guy came on so quietly last year (blame the west coast), I’m not surprised people kept saying, “who?” when I told them I was keeping him. Yet, the Chargers rookie receiver became Philip Rivers favorite target, catching 71 balls for over 1,000 yards. I have him penciled in as my WR2.

7. GRIFF COOMER

Rd 5 – Peyton Manning, QB DEN Um, yeah…this is the definition of “no-brainer.” Zero reason (unless he gets injured) he won’t deliver the same type of season as 2013.

Rd 7 – C.J. Spiller, RB BUF This one comes down to Vernon Davis vs. Spiller. It’s a tough call. Davis is probably the sure thing. He’s a lock for the league’s third best tight end behind Gronkowsi and Graham. Yet, he’s not Gronk or Graham and he’s not going to put up the kind of points that make him a true difference maker. Spiller has more upside, but what the hell happened last year? How did this guy not outplay Fred Jackson? Spiller should remain the starter again in Buffalo in 2014, but Jackson is still there and so is Bryce Brown.

8. ERIC VOZZOLA

Rd 5 – Robert Griffin III, QB WAS Last year was a tough season for Griffin. It’s never easy being a running quarterback with a bum knee. Yet, Eric didn’t trade for him last year for him to produce last year. He gave up T.Y. Hilton for what he’ll do this year. So what will he do? He’s got a new coach, a new offense and a new receiver. In fact, DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon could be a deadly duo. Still, Griffin is at his best when he can rush for some fantasy points, so let’s hope Jay Gruden let’s him loose.

Rd 6 – Alfred Morris, RB WAS I guess Eric is officially a Redskins fan, since he’s keeping the team’s starting quarterback and running back in back-to-back rounds. Morris is a no-brainer keeper. Sure his rushing yards dropped by 338 yards last year, yet he still managed to finish 10th among all backs. With a healthy RGIII throwing to DeSean Jackson and a healthy Jordan Reed, things should open up for Morris once again.

Rd 11 – Percy Harvin, WR SEA Like Maclin above, Eric drafted and redshirted an injured player. With both Golden Tate and Sidney Rice gone in Seattle, Harvin becomes Russell Wilson’s number one receiver by default.

9. JEFF GREENBLATT

Rd 1 – Jamaal Charles, RB KC Now this was sort of shocking, although I won’t go as far as to say it was a wrong decision. In fact, if you have Jamaal Charles on your team, the word wrong can’t ever be used. He was the top-rated back last year and there is no reason to suspect he won’t be just as good this season. CBS is projecting about 290 fantasy points per game. Yet, he does comes with a price. He’s a first-round keeper and Jeff has the 5th overall pick.

Me, I might have kept Le’Veon Bell in round two. The Steelers running back produced nearly 1,300 yards in just 13 games; 646 of those yards and four touchdowns came in the final six weeks. He’s projected to be the 9th best back in football. If Jeff had kept Bell, he wouldn’t have gotten Charles, but he could have still landed a top-eight back, which means he would have two stud backs. There will be no sure-thing 200 point per game back waiting for him at the 20th pick.

Rd 6 – Golden Tate, WR DET Four years in Seattle and the former Fighting Irish receiver got better every season, nearly hitting 900 yards on a team that did most of it’s damage running the ball. Now he’s in Detroit, a team that believes in passing the ball on first down, second down and third down. The good news is, playing opposite Calvin Johnson, he’s going to see plenty of single coverage. The problem is, there are a lot of people to get the ball to in Motown. 1,000 yards is certainly possible, but I wonder if going back to Cecil Short (the #1 option in Jacksonville) or Kenny Stills (the potential #1 option in New Orleans) would not have been better week-to-week options?

10. MOLLY COOMER

Rd 2 – Adrian Peterson, RB MIN After a wonderful 2012 campaign that featured a 2,00o-yard rushing season, Peterson rushed for over 800 yards less in 2013 (missing two games). The fact was, the Vikings O-line sucked and their quarterback options were a mess. This season, with a potential rookie (Teddie Bridgewater) starting behind center, I’m not sure Peterson is going to find a lot of holes. While he probably won’t compete for a first-team All-Robio award, Peterson remains a fantastic get in the middle of the second round.

Rd 11 – Ben Roethlisberger, QB PIT This keeper selection I don’t like. Big Ben finished 9th last year among quarterbacks in our regular season (just 15th if you count the full NFL season). Not bad, but not great. He broke 300 fantasy points just four times all year long. If he wasn’t kept, it was doubtful he would have been drafted among the top-12 quarterbacks and probably would have lasted to the 9th round (and that’s me being nice).

Instead, I would have taken Kendall Wright in round 14. The dude caught 94 balls for over 1,000 yards with Ryan Fitzgerald throwing him the ball most of the season. Sure, the Titans quarterback situation remains a mess, so I don’t see Wright moving up to WR1 status, but he caught 94 balls from Ryan Fitzgerald and Jake Locker. If I had him on my team, I would be happy to have him as my second receiver.

11. RICHARD BURRIER

Rd 7 – Andrew Luck, QB IND We’re heading into season number three of the Burrier/Luck relationship. Last year, his stats dipped a bit, but he still finished 10th. That’s not tragic, but remember, only 12 quarterbacks start, so 10th overall is not good enough if you want to win mugs. I expect Luck to make a solid jump up this year, closer to top-five. Too bad Rich didn’t redshirt him in 2012, so he could have him this year and again next year.

Rd 14 – Brandon LaFell, WE NE Leaving Carolina for the Patriots has made LaFell a popular sleeper and there is no shame in using your second-to-last pick on the guy. Sure he’s never approached 700 yards receiving and it’s doubtful he’ll hit 1,000 with Brady, who likes to deliver the ball to a ton of different guys, but hey, stranger things have happened.

12. DON VOZZOLA

Rd 8 – Colin Kaepernick, QB SF I guess when you’re coming off a season like the one Don had in 2013, it’s best to basically clean house. Kaepernick is an excellent keeper. If Don didn’t keep him, I would have drafted him in the third-round. Why? Despite having only Vernon Davis to throw to most of the season, he still finished 15th among quarterbacks. He’s arguable the league’s best running quarterback and this season he heads into the year with a healthy Michael Crabtree to go along with Anquan Boldin.

As for Don’s other keeper options, I would have kept Jordy Nelson in round four. He was injured last year, as was Aaron Rodgers, so it’s easy to forget how good he is, but I have Nelson going late second, early third-round and Don could have had him in round four. Mistake.