Week One
He started the season as the top team in the rankings, but he couldn't finish it that way.
Gator Nation 719 at THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1299 Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1096 at Mollipop 1748 Quarter Pounders 1099 at Team 6 1674 The Griffters 1708 at Neurological Damage 1458 Vick in White 1752 at The Dick-Taters 1043 WILDCARD BITCHES! 1491 at Rice, Rice Baby 1604
Tuesday Thoughts
Welcome back folks, it’s time for the first annual Robio Tuesday’s Thought, the most important thing you’ll read on Tuesday. It was a big first week as five teams broke at least 1,600 points.
No. 1 VICK IN WHITE Man, it feels good to be right. I named Matt my pre-season favorite and he did not disappoint. He led the league in scoring, as five players broke 200 points.
Of course heading into the season, this was supposed to be Sam Bradford’s team, but it was Matt Stafford who raked up 420 points on the road against a pretty decent Buccaneers defense.
On top of that, does anyone think Matt made the wrong choice when he dumped Michael Vick and kept LeSean McCoy? First, Stafford out-scored Vick and McCoy almost did, scoring only 12 points less than the Eagles starting QB.
For the record, dating back to last year, Matt has scored over 1,600 points in five straight regular season games.
No. 2 MOLLIPOP Heading into week one, Molly had the longest current streak without a weekly high score (at 48 weeks). She came THAT close to ending that streak this week with a dominating performance. She scored four points less than Matt.
Like Matt, Molly had four 200-pt players, including Kenny Britt’s 382 and Aaron Rodgers’ 450 points. Of course Britt got 218 points on one 80-yard touchdown, so that’s nice.
On top of that, Miles Austin proved he will survive with Dez Bryant on the other side. This was a bit of a concern for me coming into the season.
For the record, this was the first time Molly has broken 1,500 on opening day.
No. 3 THE GRIFFTERS The league’s pre-season favorite also didn’t disappoint, becoming the third team to break 1,700 points Monday night. First, props always go to Griff for paying attention. When Foster was declared out, he had the handcuff waiting on the bench and even though Ben Tate was still behind D. Ward, he produced 116 total yards, giving Griff 199 fantasy points.
On top of that, playing match ups, Griff made a very surprising move when he placed Manningham (facing a weak Redskins D) on the bench and started Boldin (facing the league’s top defense). It worked, as Boldin outscored Mario, 200-90.
Of course the highlight of the weekend had to be Wes Welker’s 99-yard touchdown catch. That’s a good way to finish week one.
For the record, after failing to break 1,200 on opening day for four straight years, Griff has produced over 1,600 points on opening day for three straight seasons.
No. 4 TEAM 6 Burrier shocked the world with a 1,674-point opening day. Solid performance, but I always pause when I see that two players were responsible for 54% of those points. Of course those two players were Drew Brees and the Ravens D.
I was particularly excited about the fact that the D’s played such a big part in this win. As you should remember, Colby took the Steelers first. Burrier took the Ravens second. While I’m sure the Steelers will deliver plenty of points this year, the Ravens outscored the Steelers in a head-to-head match this week up by 376 points.
For the record, this was only the second time since 2006, Burrier has won on opening day.
No. 5 RICE RICE BABY Personally, I think we should change Rob’s team name to RAVENS, RAVENS BABY. It was two Ravens players, Joe Flacco and Ray Rice, who combined to score 742 points (49% of Rob’s points). I still believe Tony Romo is his long-term quarterback, but Rob might have found his WR2 sitting on his bench.
Steve Smith (Panthers) looked just fine, as he raked up 178 yards and two touchdowns (460 points). He outscored Rob’s two starters combined.
Of course thanks to Tom Brady, Rob had to sweat it out a little and then had to sweat it out a lot as the Raiders coach sent Janikowski out for a 63-yard field goal. He made it, tying for the league record.
For the record, Masterson is the week one king. He’s won eight of nine, including four straight.
No. 6 MOBY THE DICK Stunningly, after years without luck in match ups, my luck from 2010 has carried over into 2011, at least for one game. Last year I finished 12-1 in the regular season thanks the fact my opponents scored the least amount of points. I open up 2011 facing the league’s lowest scoring team. Hell, the last time my opponent broke 1,500 points in a game was week three of last year.
Overall, not a great performance…Matt Schaub threw two interceptions, Peterson only had 16 carries and Vincent Jackson failed to live up to elite status, catching only two balls.
However, not all was terrible. Darren McFadden looked healthy, Reggie Wayne still produced despite Kerry Collins, Kellen Winslow led the Buccaneers in receptions and both my D’s looked solid.
For the record, this was my first opening weekend win since 2006.
No. 7 WILDCARD BITCHES! 511 passing yards. Four touchdowns. 674 fantasy points. Thank you Tom Brady. I still think Bob has plenty of issues, but with Tom Brady on his team, Bob will never be out of any game.
I will say this, Bob has to be encouraged by his backs. Both Ryan Mathews and Beanie Wells broke 200 points this week. In fact, Bob and Matt were the only two people to have two backs break 200 fantasy points.
For the record, defending champs have fallen to 4-7 in week one after winning the title
No. 8 THE DICK-TATERS Speaking of backs, no team had worst day running the ball than Calderon’s penis-taters. Blount and D. Williams combined for just 66 fantasy points. Blount was the bigger surprise. He only ran the ball five times for just 15 yards.
The good news is, his receivers showed up, led by Calvin Johnson’s 284 points. Brandon Marshall looks like a good start moving forward, as the Dolphins looked good passing the ball. He finished with 264 points. On top of that, both Brandon Lloyd and Mike Williams had solid games.
No. 9 NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE Considering all that’s gone wrong, the fact that Eric scored 1,458 points in week one is encouraging, although I’m not sure it’s a true sign.
The good news was the production of Matt Forte (334 points), Jason Witten (208 points) and the Bears defense (257 points). I’ve said it before, I love the Forte trade last year. Sure Chris Johnson was terrible, but you had to expect some rust, right?
The bad news of course was learning that Peyton Manning had a third surgery. Right now, he’s out for a long while and potentially for the season. Not sure Eric’s team is talented enough to overcome not having a second-round pick this year. On top of that, Eric will now be without a starting WR for a month thanks to a broken collarbone.
Right now if anyone is missing the IR spots, it’s going to be Eric, as two of his bench spots are being filled by players who can’t contribute.
No. 10 QUARTER POUNDERS Bad news Colby, one week in and Josh Freeman didn’t look like an elite quarterback. Don’t be fooled by his 260 points, he got most of them in the final 10 minutes of the game. The Lions made him look very average. Still, it’s just one game and there is plenty of time to get his act together. Colby has two other, much bigger concerns moving forward.
First, his receivers now have health issues. Danny Amendola, who started in week one as a third-receiver, broke his shoulder and is out at least until week six, maybe longer. Worse yet, we learned today that Hakeem Nicks has a knee injury. If he were to miss significant time, that would be a problem. Luckily for Colby, it looks like it’s just a bruise and at worst he might miss one game.
The second problem is the running game. Frank Gore didn’t look great, but at least he’s the feature back (22 touches), the same can’t be said for any other back on the Pounders. Between Colby’s three other running backs (Ryan Grant, Ben Green-Ellis and Pierre Thomas), the trio combined for just 20 carries total.
For the record, Colby scored the lowest amount of points on opening day since 2007.
No. 11 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER Sadly, Jeff’s team is not as good as his team name. Of course that might be asking too much. It’s a pretty good team name. Clearly, Big Ben’s five turnovers killed. That’s minus 225 points, but there were some positives to come out this loss, even if you have to dig for them.
First, Steve Johnson is legit. A lot of people predicted he couldn’t live up to his 2010 season, but he’s clearly still Ryan Fitzgerald’s favorite target.
Second, Felix Jones disappointed once again (where’s the breakaway ability?), but at least we learned that Tim Hightower is the true #1 back in Washington. He took 25 of the Redskins’ 26 carries. Now when Ryan Torain comes back from injury, he’ll steal some carries, but Hightower is now officially a RB2 in Robioland.
For the record, this was Jeff’s 7th straight defeat. He is now tied for 5th longest streak in league history (along with two former league members). The record is nine.
No. 12 GATOR NATION It all started off so well. On his first hand off from the line of scrimmage, Steven Jackson took the ball 47 yards and ran it in for a touchdown. It was going to be a good year. Of course Jackson would have only one more rushing attempt before going out for the game.
A lot went wrong for Don after that moment. The Bears shutdown Matt Ryan, Dwayne Bowe only caught two balls, despite eight balls being thrown his way. Percy Harvin got a 100-yard kickoff return, but only produced 22 total yards. Meanwhile the Patriots D gave up over 400 yards to what was supposed to be a suspect Dolphins defense.
For the record, after beating me six straight times prior to last year, he’s now lost three straight.
Week Two
THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1921 at Rice, Rice Baby 1680 Mollipop 2014 at Neurological Damage 1410 The Dick-Taters 1182 at Team 6 1877 Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1577 at The Griffters 1144 Vick in White 1699 at Quarter Pounders 1426 Gator Nation 1586 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1833
Tuesday Thoughts
What a week…we got a 2,000-pt game, a 1,900-point game, two 1,800-point games and two 1,600-point game. Overall, eight teams broke 1,500 points. In fact, we had some records broken.
– Masterson and I combined for 3,601 points. 10th most of all-time. Rob’s 1,680 points in a losing effort is the 8th most. – Masterson has three of the top nine highest scoring defeats. – Don scored 1,586…the 18th most points scored in a defeat.
No. 1 VICK IS WHITE I’m keeping Matty at number one, holding off Molly…barely. For Matt, the story of the short season has been the play of Matt Stafford. Clearly, week one was no fluke. Stafford has out-produced even Aaron Rodgers so far. Also, I think the Vick vs. McCoy debate is officially over. Vick has a concussion, while McCoy is fantasy’s top running back.
No. 2 MOLLIPOP Over. The streak is over at 49 weeks. The last time Molly had a weekly high score was week four, 2007. In that time span, she’s had seven weekly low scores. Done. Her 49 weeks without a weekly high score is the fourth longest in league history. It’s also her second career 2,000-pt game. The last one was week two, 2007.
I thought heading into 2011, there were some tiny question marks about her receivers. I thought they could be good, but great? Right now, they’re stud-like. Kenny Britt and Miles Austin are currently second and third among all receivers. Too bad Austin had to go and get hurt. Because her WR bench options are sub par, I’m not pushing her into the #1 spot.
No. 3 TEAM 6 Who is this guy and what did he do with Rich Burrier? He’s got 3,551 points in two weeks of football. It’s the first time Rich has had back-to-back 1,500-pt games since week 11-12, 2006. Actually he’s produced back-to-back 1,600-pt games, something he hasn’t done since 2005. It’s the most points he’s scored in back-to-back games since 2004, when he scored back-to-back 1,900-pt games (3,986 total points). More importantly, this is only the second time Burrier has been 2-0 (the last time was 2005).
While there should be a little concern over the lack of production from Shoon Greene (just 75 yards rushing in two games), he might not need him if Tom Brady keeps targeting his tight ends. The Patriots two tight ends (Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez) are 1-2 among all tight ends. That’s never happen before. With Gronkowski, Burrier has the league’s top tight end. Not bad for an 8th round pick.
No. 4 RICE RICE BABY Yep, I’m actually going to keep Rob ahead of me, despite the fact I just beat him. The fact is, Masterson has produced back-to-back 1,600-pt games. If he played me last week, he would have won. By the way, Rob has only had two straight 1,600-pt games once before in his career, way, way, way back in 2003.
The good news is he’s done this really without the #3 pick in the draft, Roddy White. The Falcons receiver has produced 84 yards receiving, averaging just 103 fantasy points in two games.
No. 5 MOBY THE DICK At some point in the season, I’ll eventually look back at the draft, see what great player I passed on and suffer through regret until I wash it away with whiskey and porn. However, this year I can’t help but look at the one that got away, one pick before me.
When Bob took Tom Brady with the 13th pick in the draft, he broke my heart. I ended up settling on Reggie Wayne. Just imagine if I had Tom Brady playing along with McFadden, Peterson, V-Jackson and Holmes? Oh what could have been.
No. 6 WILDCARD BITCHES! You know, lost in all the talk of defending a title, being picked last by the commissioner and Tom Brady’s record setting performance, Bob’s record-breaking 1,000-pt game streak just continues on. He’s now done it for 28 straight games.
I’m going to let you, the reader, decide what I’m supposed to be most impressed by. Is it Tom Brady’s record-breaking performance (620 fantasy points per game)? Maybe it’s Cam Newton’s 489 fantasy points per game? Personally, I’m shocked by the production of Bob’s running backs. Ryan Mathews and Beanie Wells are ranked 9th and 10th among all backs.
No. 7 NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE Eric has actually had two solid weeks, breaking 1,400 twice, yet he’s now fallen to 0-2. His four-game slide dating back to last year is the league’s longest (thanks to Jeff’s win this week).
Despite the injury struggles (Manning, Colston), Eric has done a fantastic job filling the holes. This week Ryan Fitzgerald produced 403 points at quarterback and Devery Henderson came through with 260 points. However, Eric can do all the patchwork he wants, if Chris Johnson (77 rushing yards in two games) doesn’t start earning his paycheck, the new Eric era will have to wait until 2012.
No. 8 QUARTER POUNDERS It’s been a fantastic two weeks for fantasy football, yet the Quarter Pounders haven’t really enjoyed too much of it. Sure they had a nice week two, scoring over 1,400 points, which is usually a solid outing, but not this year and certainly not this week.
Frank Gore can’t find any holes, Josh Freeman takes three quarters before he starts playing and Antonio Gates got shut out? When Colby used a 3rd round pick on him, I’m willing to bet he expected more than the 27th ranked TE in the league.
No. 9 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER Another streak comes to an end in week two. Jeff had lost seven straight dating back to last year until this week’s win over Griff. It was the 5th longest losing streak in league history.
For Jeff, it’s all about waiting to see if players like Cedric Benson, Tim Hightower and Steve Johnson are really worthy of a start. This week, both Benson and Hightower took mini-step backs, but nothing too tragic. However, Larry Fitzgerald and Big Ben both stepped up.
No. 10 THE DICK-TATERS I’m dropping Calderon down to 10th, not so much because he’s 0-2. His opponents have scored over 3,629 points. However, only one team in this league has failed to score at least 1,200 points in one of their two games…that’s Rich.
The biggest worry about drafting Michael Vick was his health. Now he has a concession and who knows how long that will last. On top of that, he benched the wrong Buccaneers (leaving Mike Williams and his minus two in, sitting Blount, missing out on his 236 points).
On top of even that, DeAngelo Williams is looking like an extreme bust and he has no tight end worth mentioning.
No. 11 GATOR NATION Don loses Steven Jackson, but no worries. Just stick in Fred Jackson and just like that you have the league’s leading rusher (yes, Jackson is the NFL’s top rusher right now). Add in Michael Turner this week and Don was one of only two teams to have two 300-point running backs.
Still, despite nearly breaking 1,600 points, Don will fall to 0-2. That’s the first time since 2007. Overall Don has started the season 0-2 three times, twice he failed to qualify for the post-season.
No. 12 THE GRIFFTERS Yep, I’m dropping Griff from second to dead last. Am I fucking nuts? Yeah, probably. However, this team could be in trouble. Jamaal Charles’ season-ending injury is the worst thing that could have happened. Think about it, he would have been much better off losing Arian Foster. At least he has Ben Tate, a solid backup. Griff does have Thomas Jones, but he’s old and terrible. He is not the answer. Your move Griff.
PEEKING AHEAD: Next week we wrap up the first round of divisional play. What do we have to look forward to?
Team 6 vs. Vick in White It’s the only 2-0 vs. 2-0 match-up. For Matt, he’s won nine-straight division games dating back to 2009. I don’t know if that’s a record (shocking I know), but I’m willing to bet it probably is. For Burrier, he’s trying to end what has to be a very painful five-game losing streak to Matt. The last time he beat Neatock was 2006.
Wildcard Bitches! vs. Moby the Dick It’s a championship game re-match. I’m a stunning 16-1 in my last 17 games. With a win over Bob, I’ll tie my own record for most wins in an 18 stretch. I once went 17-1 way back in 1999-2000. However, that one loss was of course to Bob. For Bob, he’s the only person to have double-digit wins against me, going 10-4 in his Robioland career.
Quarter Pounders vs. The Dick-Taters Someone is going to finally earn a win, while the other will fall to 0-3. Now there is nothing wrong with being 1-2, but you certainly don’t want to be 0-3. It’s happened 22 times prior to this year and only four have recovered to make it to the playoffs. However, it’ not a recent trend. Since 2004, 13 teams have gone 0-3 and only one (Calderon in 2009) made it to the post-season.
The Griffters vs. Mollipop After week one, this was looking like a battle for the division title. Now Griff could have his ass handed to him by his wife. At least with Miles Austin now out for potentially four weeks, the odds have even out.
Neurological Damage vs Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer Not a lot of history here. Jeff leads the series 3-1. More importantly, Eric and Jeff are only 8-22 dating back to the start of last year.
Rice, Rice Baby at Gator Nation Don leads the series 6-4. Don won five straight from 2003-2008, but Masterson has won two of three. Don is 0-2, but he hasn’t been 0-3 since his awful 2003 season.
Week Three
WILDCARD BITCHES! 1698 at THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1550 The Griffters 1655 at Mollipop 978 Quarter Pounders 1072 at The Dick-Taters 1217 Neurological Damage 1187 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1425 Team 6 1623 at Vick in White 1362 Rice, Rice Baby 1871 at Gator Nation 1160
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 Team 6 (3-0) Let’s get this straight…Burrier loses his top running back prior to the game and his number one backup is already out. He also gets zero points from his backup receiver (Deion Branch subbing in for Dez Bryant), yet he still manages to crack 1,600 points for a third straight game. The last time he did that was weeks 11-13, 2004. It’s the second time in his career he has started 3-0. Robert Gronkowski continues to be the difference maker. Rich’s TE chipped in another 324 fantasy points. He is blowing away the competition at the tight end position, producing 242 more points than the second best tight end.
No. 2 Rice Rice Baby (2-1) A nice rebound win for Masterson, although it’s tough to call anything a rebound when he too has scored over 1,600 points in each of his three games. In fact, this was Rob’s first weekly high score in over a year and the most points he’s scored since 2007. In fact, this is the first time Rob has scored over 1,600 in three straight contests.
Rob finally got a big game out of his top pick (Roddy White scored 262), but he also got 298 x 2 from his running backs and a stunning 502 points from Joe Flacco.
No. 3 Vick In White (2-1) While Matt has consistently taken DeSean Jackson over the years, he has always expressed frustration with the Eagles receiver because of his lack of consistency. One week he’ll get 400 points, the next he’ll get 40. This week he only got 60. However, Matt lost this week because his defense got worked over. The Jets got run over by the Raiders, while Burrier’s Ravens D dominated the Rams. The difference in the defensive scoring? 329. The difference in the final score? 261.
No. 4 Wildcard Bitches! (3-0) Against me, Tom Brady actually put up less numbers than Matt Schaub, yet Bob still nearly cracked 1,700 points. More impressively, he did it basically without a second RB. When Beanie Wells was declared out, Bob only had the Steelers’ backup RB to put in (he scored six points).
A big reason was the play of Ryan Mathews. Time will tell if he still has to share the load with Mike Tolbert, but this Sunday, Mathews was the best back. He scored twice, raking up 149 total yards. If he really is the main man in San Diego, Bob is dangerous.
No. 5 Mollipop (2-1) Obviously, Molly’s came crashing back to earth this week. Of course it didn’t help that she basically didn’t have her two top-10 receivers. Miles Austin was benched due to injury and then Kenny Britt was knocked out for the season. This is huge. Right now, she has no one on her bench who can fill the gap left by Britt’s injury.
No. 6 Moby the Dick (2-1) Well, you can’t win them all. I can’t really complain, I’ve won a lot of games and I’ve benefited from a lot of low scoring opponents. I’ve now lost two of my last 18 and both of those defeats came via Bob.
For me this week, it was all about the second half. Between Holmes, Jackson and Winslow, the trio caught only two balls total in the second half. Adrian Peterson produced only 16 yards after rushing for 81 in the first half. Even McFadden only produced 49 yards (39 on two plays) after producing 129 yards and two touchdowns in the first half.
No. 7 The Griffters (2-1) I guess Griff isn’t ready to go gently into that good night. Proving you can never count him out, Griff rebounded with a nice 1,655 points. Of course it helps to have Welker (558 fantasy points) and Finley (336 fantasy points). The pair accounted for 54% of Griff’s points. Just as importantly down the road, the man sent in to replace Jamaal Charles, A.J. Green, only produced 50 points.
No. 8 Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer (2-1) As much as Big Ben tried to give this game away, Jeff still found a way to win his second straight. Remember prior to the season I was bragging on Jeff for landing Steve Johnson? Sure you do. Well, despite the fact he has yet to produce a 100-yard game, he does have 20 catches and at least one touchdown per game. Besides that, great job subbing in Brandon Pettigrew for the injured Aaron Hernandez. Pettigrew knocked out 202 fantasy points, nearly doubling up his season high.
No. 9 The Dick-Taters (1-2) Calderon finally breaks 1,200 points and got his first win of the season (as the lowest scoring winner of week three), but he probably shouldn’t celebrate too much. Outside of Calvin Johnson, his receivers are painfully inconsistent. Neither Marhshall (who was starting), Williams or Lloyd was able to break 100 points this week. Worse yet, Mike Tolbert surrendered a lot of touches to Ryan Mathews. Tolbert finished with four carries and three receptions. If this is the norm, Calderon has some major problems moving forward…and I haven’t even mentioned Michael Vick’s inability to finish games.
No. 10 Neurological Damage (0-3) In Robioland football, there aren’t any guarantees, but the closest thing to a guarantee was a playoff trip if you had the top pick in the draft. Leave it to Eric to blow that one up. Outside of Ryan Fitzgerald, no big numbers from anyone. No other player broke 170 fantasy points this week.
No. 11 Quarter Pounders (0-3) Where to begin? He couldn’t start Nicks (injury/match up concerns) and he lost Antonio Gates. On top of that, Frank Gore is looking like a huge bust. He has yet to rush for 60 yards this season. His other keeper running back (Green-Ellis) can’t get enough carries to do anything, not that he deserves them. The fact is, the Patriots twice gave him the ball on the goal line and both times he failed to score. It might be time to see some of that Colby in-season magic.
No. 12 Gator Nation (0-3) Could the seven-year playoff run be over? Obviously it’s too early to tell, 0-3 is not season-ending. However, Don has a brutal schedule ahead and he appears to be in the toughest division in Robioland. Good luck with that.
Week Four
THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1262 at Mollipop 1539 The Dick-Taters 1820 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 917 Team 6 1175 at The Griffters 1401 Rice, Rice Baby 1357 at Neurological Damage 1344 WILDCARD BITCHES! 1313 at Quarter Pounders 1511 Gator Nation 1669 at Vick in White 1555
Tuesday Thoughts
For the third straight week, we have a new leader on Robio’s Rankings. However, maybe it’s not a blessing. The last two top teams suffered a loss the following week. Watch out Masterson.
No. 1 RICE, RICE BABY (3-1) Some last second decisions can be painful, while others can be game-changing. On Sunday morning, Rob Masterson subbed in Eli Manning for Tony Romo. At first, it looked like a costly decisions. Romo had three touchdown passes, approaching 400 fantasy points.
However, Romo fell apart, Eli threw two touchdowns and that was the difference. If Rob played Romo, he would have lost to Eric by one. He played Eli, who out-scored Romo by 15 fantasy points, producing a 13-point win.
No. 2 WILDCARD BITCHES! (3-1) Now I just talked about Rob making the right decision on Sunday. For Bob, he made the wrong decision. Dealing with injuries to both his starting running backs (Mathews and Wells), Bob was forced to shuffle his backs around. Come Sunday, he decided on Mathews and Stewart, benching Beanie Wells. Mathews paid off, producing another solid game (256 points).
However, unsure about Wells’ status for his 4pm game and with nobody on his bench starting after one, he stuck with Stewart. The Panthers back produced 146 points (not tragic), but Beanie Wells not only played, but dominated, rolling out 402 points. Since Bob lost by 198 points, the fact that Wells scored 256 more points than Stewart, this decision cost Bob a third win.
No. 3 VICK IN WHITE (2-2) No shame in this loss. Matt’s scored over 1,500 points for the third time in four weeks. He should be more excited about this and not stress about the loss. Overall, Matt still has a league best, five starters currently in the top-six at their respected position, Matt Stafford, LeSean McCoy, Greg Jennings, Tony Gonzalez and the Jets defense. Of those six, two were traded to him last year and of the four others, they were drafted in round two, five, eight and fourteen.
No. 4 TEAM 6 (3-1) I keep talking about decision-making in fantasy football. Masterson made the right one, but Bob didn’t. What about Burrier?
Last week, Rich started Deion Branch and Jeremy Maclin. Heading into week four, he had decisions to make. Maclin was average at best, Branch produced zero points, but was Dez Bryant healthy? He also had stud rookie, Torrey Smith. By mid-week he made his decision and put Bryant and Smith into the starting lineup. In my predictions, I call them moves ballsy.
However, prior to Sunday, Rich made another decision, pulling Bryant for Maclin, leaving in Smith. Well, the decisions didn’t pan out. However, it didn’t cost him the game.
Bryant played and played well, producing 198 points, which was 198 more points than Smith produced (it was the second straight week Rich had a WR produce zero points). Still, he lost by 226 points. But to show you how close these games could be…if Bryant would have played and Maclin didn’t fumble the ball on the Eagles last play, Rich would have won.
No. 5 MOLLIPOP (3-1) Who needs Kenny Britt when Aaron Rodgers and Jimmy Graham can produce 68% of Molly’s 1,539 points? Stunning stats by Rodgers, who had the second greatest fantasy day in Robioland history (Vick’s 811 last year is the best ever). This why I didn’t drop Molly last week past me in last week’s rankings.
However, should she be a little worried that her third highest scorer was her kicker? The fact is, until Miles Austin gets his ass back on the field, she may have the league’s worst wide receivers. Malcom Floyd and Jacoby Ford combined for just three catches and 106 fantasy points.
No. 6 THE GRIFFTERS (3-1) Griff improves to 2-0 in the post-Charles era. The top storyline has to be the (full-time) return of Arian Foster, last year’s rushing champ. He looked great and most importantly healthy. On top of that, it certainly helps that Wes Welker is scoring enough points for two players. He’s still on track to catch 160 balls this year.
Of course Griff might need all the points from these two he’s going to get. The fact is, Reggie Bush (despite not sharing carries this week) only produced 100 fantasy points. He’s clearly not the solution at RB2. It’s looking more and more that Griff will need to roll three-wide this year.
No. 7 MOBY THE DICK (2-2) Don’t look now, but the Dick’s may have some issues. First, Schaub had his second under-200 game. It certainly won’t help that Andre Johnson is out for a while. Look for the Texans to run the ball even more.
Second, the tight end is hurting me. Winslow has zero looks in the end zone (no touchdowns so far this season). I think it’s time for the Jermaine Gresham era to begin.
Lastly, I thought I had three No. 1 wide receivers, but Reggie Wayne is producing nothing without a quarterback and Santonio Holmes has disappeared from the Jets offense.
No. 8 THE DICK-TATERS (2-2) Last year, no wide receiver produced 3,000 fantasy points during the 13-game fantasy regular season. Right now, three receivers are on pace to do it. Wes Welker, Steve Smith and Calvin Johnson. Anyhow, Calderon has now won two straight and he potentially could be the favorite in his next three, thanks to a deep bench that can deal with bye-weeks.
Rich has three legit players he could put into his starting squad and not sweat it out (Tolbert, Lloyd and Mike Williams). On top of that, DeAngelo Williams actually resembled a running back this week with 82 yards.
No. 9 NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE (0-4) Poor Eric, the kid is just 2-16 in his last 18 games. Four games into the 2011 season and he’s almost out of it. What’s worse is that he’s actually had decent games. He’s 8th in scoring, producing a 1,458-point game, plus a 1,410 and a 1,344-point game…all loses.
So is Eric breaking records? Well, prior to this defeat, Eric was one of only three teams to only win two games over a 17 game stretch. The other two were Masterson (2009-2010) and myself (2008-2010). Eric is now tied with former league member David, who went 2-16 over 18 games between 2005-2006. However, that’s not the worst. Eric would need to lose two more to tie the record and three more to own it. Original league member Tim, the worst fantasy owner ever, went 2-18 over a 20 game stretch. He was quickly removed from the league.
No. 10 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER (2-2) Jeff finally lays an egg, becoming only the third person to not hit 1,000 in a game. It was an overall bad effort. Cedric Benson led all scorers with just 170 fantasy points. Worse of all, Tim Hightower’s stats took a major hit, while the “third-string” back rushed for over 100 yards. The biggest fear is that the Redskins will just continue to roll with who has the hot legs, which would make starting Hightower tough.
No. 11 QUARTER POUNDERS (1-3) Nice upset by Colby. A 0-4 start would have been tough to overcome. However, I’m not moving him up just yet. The fact is, teams 8-12 are all basically the same to me. You’ll move up by impressing me with winning streaks.
Right now, Calderon has a winning streak, thus he’s at #8. Having said that, even though Colby benched Gore, it had to be nice to see him actually do something. A 304-point game is nothing to sneeze at. At the very least, it shows he still has the ability to be a solid back.
No. 12 GATOR NATION (1-3) Strange, I know. The man gets the second best score for the week, but it still won’t buy him a spot outside of last place. Listen, I’m excited for Don. A great team effort, as five different players produced 200+ points (not including Bowe’s 254 on Don’s bench). Like I said, do it again next week and I’ll have no choice by to move up the Gator Nation.
Week Five
Gator Nation 1353 at Mollipop 2024 THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1323 at The Dick-Taters 1201 Rice, Rice Baby 1341 at Team 6 1439 WILDCARD BITCHES! 1265 at Neurological Damage 1334 Quarter Pounders 1007 at The Griffters 1330 Vick in White 1359 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1098
Tuesday Thoughts
Masterson loses, Molly hits 2,000 (again), Burrier has knocked off two number one’s, Matt won again, but not impressively, while five teams win scoring between 1,300-1,400 points. How the hell am I supposed to figure this shit out? You know what? Let’s scratch all previous Tuesday Thoughts and start fresh.
No. 1 MOLLIPOP (4-1) Let’s talk about how impressive this performance was. Molly was without three starters this week, Kenny Britt, Miles Austin and Rashard Mendenhall, yet cruised to another win. Seriously, how many of you could lose three key starters and sub in three players who would produce 817 fantasy points? For the record, Molly has become the first person in league history to produce two 2,000-point games in a four-week span.
No. 2 VICK IN WHITE (3-2) Since I’m starting fresh this week, I’ve given myself permission to ignore Burrier’s win over Matt a couple weeks ago. I still think without question Matt has the best roster, top-to-bottom, in the league. However, he doesn’t have the bench that Molly has. If he lost the same starters she did, he would be starting Marshawn Lynch, Greg Little and Chad Ochocinco. You think those three could produce 817 fantasy points?
No. 3 TEAM 6 (4-1) So far, no other team has a more impressive resume (based on my rankings). Burrier has taken down number one teams in two out of the last three weeks. Like Molly, he did it basically without three starters, Peyton Hillis, Dez Bryant and the Ravens D. Sadly for all of us, he doesn’t face Molly next week, so he can’t go 3-0 against #1’s.
No. 4 RICE RICE BABY (3-2) Trust me, this week’s defeat doesn’t deserve a four-spot drop in the rankings, but it really says more about this league than it does Rob. It’s just top-heavy right now. We have to imagine Rob would have won if Ray Rice wasn’t on a bye, but he can’t complain, since Rich was missing three starters as well.
No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS (4-1) I guess it’s time for me to become a believer in A.J. Green, right? He’s produced 230-points or more games in three of this last four. Who needs Jamaal Charles? If I can nitpick though, where’s Philip Rivers’ numbers? He’s currently 11th among quarterbacks. Sorry, but that’s low for him. It appears the Chargers have made a concentrated effort to run the ball a lot more this year.
No. 6 WILDCARD BITCHES! (2-3) Bob has won at least nine games (if you include post-season) in five straight seasons. To do that incredible feat, it requires a man making good decisions and lots of them. So far the 2011, Bob seems to be making the wrong decisions. Last week a late roster change hurt Bob, but it wasn’t the reason he lost. This week, a late roster move caused him a win. On Saturday night, Bob switched out Darrius Heyward-Bey for Antonio Brown. Too bad because Heyward-Bey had a career day (7 catches, 99 yards and a touchdown). He out-scored Brown 244-60. The 184-point difference would have made a difference since he lost to Eric by just 69 points.
No. 7 MOBY THE DICK (3-2) God I hate holding calls. Darren McFadden had 132 fantasy points wiped away thanks to two separate holding calls. At least Adrian Peterson finally had himself a day. My dream of having two first-team All-Robio running backs remains alive. Currently McFadden and Peterson are ranked 4th and 6th among all backs.
No. 8 NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE (1-4) Eric finally earns his first win of the season and he gets the eight spot? Really? Yes. Hell, he was 0-4 and I had him 9th. The only person he had to pass was Calderon and after five weeks, Eric is 3-2 head-to-head against Calderon this year. Overall, Eric remains consistent. While he has yet to have that great game, he’s broken 1,300 in four of his five games. This just means if you want to beat Eric, you’ll have to beat him.
No. 9 THE DICK-TATERS (2-3) Sure we can blame Rich’s loss of Vick’s four interceptions. If he gets those back, he wins by 50. Hell, if he just throws one, Rich still wins by five. However, Rich continues to struggle with his bench players out-scoring his starters. This week, his starters (Starks and Tolbert) produced 172 (Tolbert suffered a concussion), while DeAngelo Williams out-produced both of them on one 69-yard touchdown run.
No. 10 GATOR NATION (1-4) Despite the loss, I’m actually moving Don up. The fact is, he’s scored well in three of his last four games. He’s just not getting any love from the fantasy gods, as his opponents have blown away the competition in points scored. The good storylines from this defeat were Fred Jackson (388 points), who became the first back to break 1,500 fantasy points this season and Dwayne Bowe, who is starting to look real good.
No. 11 LESBIAN BIEBER (2-3) Maybe Cedric Benson can just go serve his suspension. This week he got a solid 24 touches, but only managed 53 yards. That’s a pathetic 2.2 yards per carry. Now at the wide out spots, neither Larry Fitzgerald or Steve Johnson were that impressive, but with that kind of talent, you have to just let them ride. At the RB spot though, Jeff will have to make some decisions. When bye-weeks don’t make the decision for him, who does he start between Benson, Sproles, Hightower, Torain or Felix Jones? The right decision could mean a win. The wrong could mean a loss.
No. 12 QUARTER POUNDERS Sorry Pounders, but I had to drop you to last. I actually feel bad. Unlike most of us, this league is all that Colby has. No other fantasy football leagues and no baseball leagues. If he falters here, the year has gone to waste. So why drop him back? Especially when you consider two lineup changes caused this week’s loss (benching Green-Ellis and not finding a real backup tight end).
Well, the fact is, Freeman is clearly looking like a bust. Sure he’s not as bad as Sam Bradford, but at least Matt had a proper backup plan in case Bradford didn’t work out. Second, the Steelers D has lost a step. Against the weak teams, you can expect a solid effort, but they’ve failed to hit 200 three times now.
Week Six
Mollipop 1583 at Vick in White 1454 The Dick-Taters 1040 at Gator Nation 1405 Team 6 1226 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1089 Neurological Damage 1196 at Quarter Pounders 1509 The Griffters 1221 at Rice, Rice Baby 1578 Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 987 at THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1015
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 MOLLIPOP (5-1) Molly cracked 1,500 points yet again. It’s the fifth time she’s done it in six games. She is on pace to crush the record books. She’s averaging 1,684 points per game. The record for the regular season is 1,558 by former league member, Jason in 2001. Matt Neatock has the all-time record if you include regular and post-season with 1,553 points per game.
No. 2 RICE RICE BABY (4-2) In 9 seasons of Robioland football, Masterson has never averaged more than 1,350 points per game in a season, one three people in the league who have failed to do so (Molly and Eric are the others). However, to not break it this year, Rob would have to totally collapse. All he has to do is average 1,160 points per game the rest of the way to break that mark.
No. 3 TEAM 6 (5-1) No one ever said you can’t get lucky in this game. Burrier needed a little love from lady luck this week. Despite the fact he was full strength this week and his opponent (Bob) was without his two starting running backs, plus no Andre Johnson, Burrier snuck out with a 83-point win. In the end, there are no cameras in the fantasy football scoreboard. A win is a win and coupled with another Neatock defeat, Rich now has a comfortable two-game lead over the second-place team in his division.
Record Book Alert: By breaking 1,000 points for the 16 straight game, Burrier has broken his career record longest 1,000-pt game streak. He recorded 15 in a row back in 2004-2005.
No. 4 VICK IN A BOX (3-3) I still think Matt’s squad is better than Burrier’s, but two games back is two games back and I won’t ignore it for now. So what’s going wrong? Well, Matt has dropped three of four, but he’s still scoring well. His opponents are just scoring better. In those three loses, his opponents have averaged 1,663ppg.
Record Book Alert: Matt scored over 1,250 for the 10th straight time. That’s one behind the all-time record set by Griff (2005) and Bob (2009-2010).
No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS (4-2) So this is what happens when Wes Welker looks human? I actually had Welker in my other league. I traded him this past Friday. While I still believe he’s going to be a top-10 wide receiver from this point on, I just believed he has peaked.
No. 6 WILDCARD BITCHES! (2-4) Suddenly, Bob’s nine-wins per season streak looks to be in jeopardy. Of course when I add up these stats for the record book, I include playoff wins, so as long as Bob gets six wins in the regular season, the streak still has a shot.
Anyhow, more importantly, this one was a bye-week defeat, so no shame in that. Bob can be excited to see the stats put up by newly acquired receivers. Both Jordy Nelson and Mike Wallace cracked 200, despite the fact each only caught two balls total. Cam Newton didn’t produce a ton of points, but if his bad game is still 200, hooray for bob.
Record Alert: Bob’s record breaking 1,000-pt game streak continues. He’s up to 32 in a row. The next closest active streak is Burrier at 16. Matt is at 15 and Colby is riding a 14-game streak.
No. 7 MOBY THE DICK (4-2) Yeah, I’m two games above Bob, but I’m not putting myself ahead of him. Missing just one player due to a bye-week, I barely cracked 1,000 and I needed a late junk Holmes TD to even beat him. I remain the league’s luckiest team. In my four wins, twice my opponents have been the week’s lowest scorer and once they were the 10th.
No. 8 GATOR NATION (2-4) Is it time to make a trade? It’s always tough for Don to make magic happen in this league. He can’t use his work computer except for work and he spends most of his time wearing biker shorts and shaving all parts of his body. Still, with Steven Jackson looking healthy (125 total yards this past week), he is suddenly stacked at RB. Does he use any one of them to fill a hole somewhere else?
No. 9 THE DICK-TATERS (2-4) This team doesn’t look good right now. Rich has failed to hit 1,250 points five times in six games. Prior to this season, he had broken 1,250 in 13 of his last 15 regular season games. The main problem is a lack of a running game. He’s started a running back 11 times (He went three-wide once) and those backs are averaging just 116 points per game. That’s roughly 213 points per game from the RB spot. When you figure in that one game he played three receivers and his third receiver produced negative two points, Rich is getting just 213ppg from his running back/flex spot. On the season, 10 running backs alone average more than that per game.
No. 10 QUARTER POUNDERS (2-4) Obviously Colby has plenty to be happy about. He scored his second 1,500-pt game, Brady looked fine, his new receiver scored a touchdown, plenty to be happy about, but man he gave up a lot of points (at least for a week). The three players he traded away (Freeman, Nelson, Wallace) scored 847 points this week.
While Brady will remain the key for a second straight second-half surge by the Pounders, he can’t do it alone. This week Frank Gore again showed that he is still an elite back. He’s averaged 293 points over his last three. Also, Colby finally, finally found a replacement for Antonio Gates. Jake Ballard is looking good for the Giants.
For the record, Colby is up to the 10-spot in my rankings, but he’s now 9th in the actual standings, one spot from the playoffs.
No. 11 NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE (1-5) Can Eric hold on? I still feel like there is a good team hidden in this 1-5 mess. With Chris Johnson coming off his bye, it’s now or never for him to break out of his funk. Eric also has Marques Colston back to play along a suddenly hot Pierre Garcon. Put these guys along an already hot Ryan Fitzgerald, Matt Forte and Jason Witten and you got yourself what appears to be a solid rotation. The problem is, at 1-5, there is no room for error. At best, Eric will need to finish 5-2 from this point on.
No. 12 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER There are plenty of reasons why Jeff has fallen to last in these rankings, but one thing he can’t blame it on is opponent scoring. For the third time in six games, Jeff’s opponent failed to break 1,200 points, but this time he couldn’t pull out the win.
Granted, it didn’t help this week that he was without starting RB Tim Hightower (injury) and Larry Fitzgerald (Bye-week).
Week Seven
Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1387 at Gator Nation 1016 Mollipop 1129 at The Dick-Taters 1424 Neurological Damage 1446 at Team 6 1591 The Griffters 999 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1189 Quarter Pounders 786 at Rice, Rice Baby 1405 Vick in White 1107 at THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1229
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 RICE RICE BABY (5-2) Ray Rice struggled (55 fantasy points), but this win just shows that Rob can basically go without his top-two running backs (Bradshaw was on a bye) and still score over 1,405 points. On top of that, Ingram showed he can be a decent backup at running back and don’t forget about Roddy White finally playing a decent (not great) game. This team is not sinking this year.
No. 2 TEAM 6 (6-1) Drew Brees continues to bring home the bacon, raking up nearly 600 points. He’s now one spot behind Aaron Rodgers. If he can somehow get past Rodgers (unlikely), then he would become only the second quarterback in Robioland history to be first-team All-Robio quarterback three times (Peyton Manning is the other). Of course Rich is going to need all the points he can get unless he can find some points from his running backs. Shonn Greene had a solid outing (192 points), but Hillis can’t stay on the field and Moreno can’t produce.
No. 3 MOLLIPOP (5-2) Clearly, Molly will need more from just Aaron Rodgers and Jimmy Graham thanks to all the injury issues she’s dealing with. Jacoby Ford replaced Britt, but only caught two balls for 18 yards. Willis McGahee did a better job replacing Jahvid Best. He ran the ball for 76 yards, but he also fumbled, producing only 71 fantasy points. Now remember all that record talk last week? Molly was averaged around 1,680 after six weeks. After one 1,131-point game, he average drops about 107 points. She’s now behind the all-time pace.
No. 4 VICK IN WHITE (3-4) No reason to knock down Matt. He lost two of his top three players (McCoy and Jackson) to a bye-week and his top backup running back (Lynch) was out with an injury. Just goes to show, depth matters during this time of the year. Of course Matt has now dropped four of five. If he makes it five of six, I’m going to run out of excuses to keep Matt in the top-four.
No. 5 WILDCARD BITCHES (3-4) Bob finally puts an end to his three-game slide, thanks to a solid outing by Newton (424 points). Meanwhile Mike Wallace had his second straight 200-point games for Bob. This is pretty impressive when you consider that Wallace has only five catches in those two games. Of course not all good news can be simple. Beanie Wells got hurt again and will miss more time (1-2 weeks). For now, I suspect Jonathan Stewart will get in there (back-to-back 160 points games).
No. 6 THE GRIFFTERS (4-3) As Eric pointed out, all lineups must be complete in this league. While it’s not a forfeitable offense, it is a rule that no player on a bye-week should be in your starting lineup. Griff started a kicker on a bye-week. If you can’t set your lineup properly, you don’t get a write up. But we still love ya.
No. 7 MOBY THE DICK (5-2) Heading into the season, I had Vincent Jackson, Reggie Wayne and Santonio Holmes at wide receiver. I thought I was stacked. Well, not so much. Take away Jackson’s one 10-catch game, he’s produced just 14 catches in his other six games. Santonio Holmes has zero 100-yard games and no 200-point fantasy games. Reggie Wayne has no 100-yard games and hasn’t scored a touchdown since week one.
No. 8 THE DICK-TATERS (3-4) No Vick, no Blount, no problem. On Sunday, Calderon found himself excited with the thought of DeMarcus Murray as a 13-round keeper. He was probably already making room on his shelves for his future championship mugs.
As a Dallas Cowboys fan, let me tell you what Rich can expect. The fact is, Murray’s game was impressive. However, at best he’s still going to have to split carries with Felix Jones (once he comes back in 1-3 weeks). Don’t get me wrong, he is a solid keeper in the 13th round, but Jones is sticking around at least one more year.
The fact is 2012 is the last year of Jones’ contract. Dallas only owes Jones $1.17 million next year, so there is no reason to cut him since the Cowboys coaching staff truly believes in a roto-running back system.
No. 9 GATOR NATION (3-4) Eight players started, six broke 100 points, but none could hit 200. Now that’s an average week. Yes, Don was without Fred Jackson, but running back depth was supposed to be his strength. Of course the problem remains Matt Ryan. It’s a league run by 500-point games by Rodgers, Brees and Brady. Matt Ryan’s 180-point games aren’t going to cut it. On the season, he has just 10 touchdowns to eight interceptions.
No. 10 QUARTER POUNDERS (2-5) No Tom Brady. No Frank Gore. No BenJarvus Green-Ellis. No Hakeem Nicks. The fifth lowest scoring game in Colby’s history. We’ll check back into the Pounders when everyone comes back next week.
No. 11 NUEROLOGICAL DAMAGE (1-6) Poor Eric. For those of you who are not in Robioland baseball, Eric has been a pretty good team. How much better? Well, he’s been to the post-season in football only three times in 10 years. In baseball, he’s been to the playoffs four times in just four years.
I bring this up because this past season in baseball, Eric was in the top three in scoring all season long, but he struggled to get into the post-season (he eventually did sneak in). Now in football, he’s again become the unluckiest team. He’s broken 1,400 points three times, but he has lost all three of them.
No. 12 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER (3-4) Nice win. Jeff probably deserves to be moved up a spot, but I just can’t find a team to drop behind him. Sure Eric is 1-6, but so far this season, Eric is 5-2 in breakdown against Jeff. Now this past Monday, we learned that Tim Hightower is out for the season. Seems like bad news, but I always like to look deeper. He thankfully has Ryan Torain. Of course Roy Helu is still there, but no matter who starts, I’m willing to bet Torain will lead this team in carries.
UPDATED PLAYOFF STANDINGS
#1 Rich B (6-1) vs. #8 Rich C (3-4) Despite all of Burrier’s success between 2003-2007, he’s never been a top-seed. Calderon has been an #8 seed once, back in 2003. He ended up taking out the top-seed, which help give Burrier his only title.
#2 Molly (5-2) vs. #7 Bob (3-4) I feel like these two just have a magical connection. Maybe it’s just me. They faced off in the post-season in 2007. Bob won.
#3 Rob M (5-2) vs. #6 Matt (3-4) Unless the votes changes overnight, in the current mid-season polling, this is the league’s predicted title game match up.
#4 Robio (5-2) vs. #5 Griff (4-3) Griff and I have met in the post-season four times over the last 12 seasons. I’ve won all four match ups. The last time was 2006, when I beat Griff in the firsr-round, 1,848-1,364.
OUTSIDE LOOKING IN: #9 Jeff (3-4) Jeff loses total points tiebreaker to Calderon, Bob and Matt. He’s up one-game over Don, but he would lose in a tiebreaker to him as well.
#10 Don (2-5) He’s tied with former league member Dave for longest playoff appearance streak. However, he’s outside looking in right now. The good news is, he’s just one game out.
#11 Colby (2-5) He rallied from 2-4 last year to make it to the post-season. Can he do the same at 2-5?
#12 Eric (1-6) The magic number is two. If Eric loses two more times, you probably have to kiss his playoff hopes alive (although Burrier did make it to the post-season with a 5-8 record.
Week Eight
Rice, Rice Baby 1495 at Vick in White 1469 Neurological Damage 967 at THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1538 Team 6 914 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1105 The Griffters 1391 at Gator Nation 1420 Quarter Pounders 1145 at Mollipop 1228 WILDCARD BITCHES! 1144 at The Dick-Taters 1518
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 RICE RICE BABY (6-2) During the bye-weeks, most teams begin to struggle to score and must rely on a dash of luck to keep winning streaks alive. Not true for Masterson. He has continued to break at least 1,300 points each and every week. That’s eight and counting. Now I don’t want to jinx Rob (which means I just did), but no one has ever, in the history of this league, scored over 1,300 points in every game. In fact, without doing a lot of research, I’m pretty confident no one has ever gone eight games in a row to start the season scoring over 1,300 points.
No. 2 MOLLIPOP (6-2) It’s really a new day when Malcom Floyd easily out-produces Antonio Gates. Yet that just happened and that’s how Molly was able to avoid a major upset this week. While most won’t be impressed with her second straight game under 1,300, she did win despite not having three opening day starters, including Aaron Rodgers. For Molly, we’ll see how “real” she really is as she’ll get back-to-back games against (6-2) Rob M and (6-2) Rich B, both leading their divisions.
No. 3 TEAM 6 (6-2) So this is what happens when Drew Brees lays an egg? On the bright side, at least these type of games will be rare. Now Rich failed to break 1,000 points this week, thus ending his 17-game streak. This was the longest streak in his long Robioland career. It was also the first time he’s had a weekly low score since the final week of 2009. Not bad. Of course I have to be honest now. Is this really a championship team? Yeah, he’s 6-2. Yeah, he’s fourth in the league in scoring, but when I look at these running backs and wide receivers, where is the greatness? With Hillis constantly hurt, who scares me? Greene? Nope. Moreno? Nope. Helu? God no. Maclin? He has his moments, as does Dez Bryant. Out of all those players, only Maclin is in the top-20 (11th ranked WR).
No. 4 VICK IN WHITE (3-5) Some teams just don’t get no love and no luck. That is Neatock in a nutshell. He’s third in the league in scoring, yet he’s 3-5, barely holding on to the final playoff spot. Where are the wins? Well, most of it has to do with the lack of luck on the schedule. It happens to someone almost every year. If Matt had played my schedule, he’d be a respectable 5-3. He would be 6-2 if he had played Burrier’s schedule. Anyhow, this week had to be maddening. Matt was beating Masterson Sunday night with the Cowboys getting crushed by the Eagles. In fact, Matt was still beating Rob with only 34 seconds left to go, Cowboys down 27 points. However, Romo got back in and with 34 seconds left, completed a nine-yard pass that put Rob over the top. He would complete another 15-yard pass with less than 15 seconds to seal the deal. That’s how close this game was.
No. 5 MOBY THE DICK (6-2) Can a brother win a championship without wide receivers? That’s the theory I continue to test out. In reality, the answer is no. I’m lucky, not good. For the second year in a row, my opponents are putting up the lowest point total. Last year they scored just 1,097 points per game. This year 1,237 points per game, the lowest in the league. Compare that to Eric (my opponent this past week). His opponents have averaged a stunning 1,514 points per game. That would be a record.
No. 6 WILDCARD BITCHES (3-5) Well, if Bob wants to continue his nine-wins per season streak, he’s going to need to do it with a post-season win. The fact is, with five loses, even if he won the remainder of his regular season games, he’ll only be 8-5. Of course I count the playoffs when I figure out the record book. In fact, during Bob’s five-year run with 9+ wins, he finished the regular season 8-5 three times. Of course he never had to finish the regular season 5-0 to do it either. On a side note, his 1,000-points per game streak is up to 34 now. He could hit a stunning 40 in a row in the first-round of the post-season…assuming he gets there. Right now Bob is outside looking in (9th place).
No. 7 THE DICK TATERS (4-4) Yes, I know what Calderon is thinking. I just beat Bob. He was pretty much at full strength and I beat him, why the hell am I still behind him in Robio’s Ranking? Because, like I’ve always said, this is a championship ranking (not a simple results ranking). Despite Rich’s win over Bob, I still feel like in the long run, Bob has the better team. This is especially true when Andre Johnson comes back. Anyhow, Calderon should be pleased. He’s had two straight solid weeks (1,400+ in both). He’s beaten a good team (Molly) and a team he’ll be competing with for a playoff spot (Bob). He’s passed Matt for second place in his division, just two back from Burrier. However, he still has a tough road ahead (four of his last five have out-scored him so far this season). He is just 17-25 against his remaining foes (his only winning record is 5-3 against Colby).
No. 8 THE GRIFFTERS (4-4) This one was brutal. With just a few minutes left in the Chargers/Chiefs game, Philip Rivers (Griff’s quarterback) had gotten his team down to within a field goal to win it. In that process on that final drive, Griff actually took the lead over Don. All that needed to happen was a hand off, followed by a field goal. Ball game. Griff is 5-3. Instead, Rivers fucking fumbled the hand off, costing Griff 45 points. He fell back behind Don. In overtime, the Chargers got the ball first, but did nothing. The Chiefs got it back, drove it down, game over. This is probably the second worst late-Monday defeat in history. I can’t recall a time when someone had the lead, then his player turned it over and then they lost the lead.
*** I know you’re asking, so what was the worst? Well, how about a middle of the night defeat? Let me tell you. In 2005. also during week eight, I went to bed Monday night beating Burrier, 1,543-1,513. Of course we all know the scores are not official until Tuesday morning. Well sometime during the middle of the night, CBS either took away a turnover (from my defense) or added one to one of my players, thus subtracting 45 points from my total score. Instead of a 30 point win, I lost by 15. I went to bed a winner and woke up a loser.
No. 9 GATOR NATION (3-5) It’s time to start talking about it. It can no longer be ignored. Don clearly has the best draft pick in the 2011 draft. Fred Jackson lasted all the way to the 6th round. 23 running backs were either kept or picked ahead of him. The three running backs taken ahead of? Ready for this? Ryan Grant, Joseph Addai and Jonathan Stewart. Incredible. Don’s only won three games and is currently outside the playoffs looking in, but it has nothing to do with this guy.
No. 10 QUARTER POUNDERS (2-6) Last in scoring. That’s where we are. The fact is, he traded away some solid talent for Tom Brady and I’m willing to bet he was expecting more than 266 points. The reality is, Brady hasn’t hit 300 fantasy points in over a month. Those are very Josh Freeman-type numbers. So what’s a man to do? Does he sit tight and hope the numbers arrive? Technically he’s only one game out of the 8th and final playoff spot, but the problem is he’s not going to win any tiebreakers against anyone. Or does he continue to try to work the phones and get another deal done? He has the Steelers D, plus Brady, plus a suddenly red-hot Gore. How many pieces can he get for any of the players? Or does he start thinking about the future. Oh the struggles of a one-league fantasy player.
No. 11 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER (4-4) Okay, okay…you win. I said I’ll move you up if you won again and you did. Granted, it was the second lowest win total of the year. Jeff would have lost to nine other teams this week, including three teams that actually suffered defeats this year. There is no team in the league that has more mid-level, low-end tier two backs. Just look at Jeff’s roster. We have Darren Sproles (the best of the bunch surprisingly), Ryan Torain, Felix Jones, Cedric Benson, Jackie Battle and Tim Hightower (who should be cut by now). On any given week, Jeff’s opponents can see any combo of starters.
No. 12 NUEROLOGICAL DAMAGE (1-7) Sorry Eric. I certainly don’t think Eric is the worst team, but 1-7 is 1-7 and I can’t ignore it. Eric is now just 3-19 in his last 22 games. With his seventh defeat, he has guaranteed another losing season. That’s 10 losing seasons in 11 years. That’s terrible. So what’s gone wrong? Well, I’ve talked about it before and it still holds true. It’s tough to win when your first-round pick flops. And Eric…he’s the king of the first-round flop. Let’s take a look back:
ERIC’S FIRST ROUND PICKS (* indicates top overall pick):
2001 – Eddie George – Rank: #19 A year after rushing for over 1,500 yards, George got hurt and barely finished with 900 yards in 2001. Eric benched him early and he never returned.
2002 – Marshall Faulk* – Rank: #16 The year before he was the Robioland MVP. In 2002, he missed four games due to injury and finished 16th among all backs.
2003 – Ricky Williams – #9 He finished second the year before and heading into 2003, the top pick was between him and Tomlinson. Well, Burrier took L.T. with the top pick, Eric took Williams second. Tomlinson was the top player in football (and Rich won the championship), Williams “slipped” to 9th among all backs. Eric missed the playoffs.
2004 – Rudi Johnson – #9 Eric got stuck with few legit options in 2004, as a ton of running backs were kept. Picking second overall again (and the first actual pick, since the first pick was a keeper), Eric grabbed Rudi, who proceeded to finish 9th.
2005 – Julius Jones – #20 Here is my prediction that season for the third overall pick, “I’m saying it now, 1,500 yards and 14 touchdowns.” He failed to crack 1,000 yards and finished 20th.
2006 – LaMont Jordan – #55 This is where things really started to go wrong for Eric. A year after Jordan finished 6th among all backs, he failed to hit 500 yards rushing, falling to 55th among all backs.
2007 – Shaun Alexander – #38 Eric should have seen this one coming. After a five-year run where Alexander finished in the top-10 every season, in 2006 he got hurt and fell to 31st. Hoping it was just an injury issue isolated to 2006, Eric took the once great back, who continued his sudden drop. Ironically, despite the fact this was Eric’s second biggest first-round flop at the time, he managed to have his first winning season (8-5) and first post-season appearance.
2008 – Larry Fitzgerald – #1 Finally, Eric gives up on the first-round running back and it pays off. Fitzgerald had his best year ever, giving Eric a first-team All-Robio season and another post-season trip.
2009 – Brian Westbrook – #54 For some reason, Eric returned to his roots and grabbed an veteran back with his first pick. Huge mistake. A season after finishing 10th among all backs, Westbrook disappeared and finished 54th. This was the second time a Eric first-round RB finished 50th or below.
2010 – Randy Moss – #76 Eric decided to return to the wide receiver in the first. Smart considering Randy Moss had finished 2009 as the top wide receiver in the league. However, this is Eric we are talking about and Moss nose-dived. He played for three teams and finished the season 76th…the lowest ranking for a first-round pick that didn’t suffer an injury. At the very least, when Eric traded Moss late in the season, he did get Matt Forte, who is currently the 4th best back in 2011.
2011 – Chris Johnson* – #33 (as of week eight) Heading into 2011, this was suppose to be a new era, as he would be able to draft the league’s most dangerous back. Instead, Johnson held out and has never looked fresh. He is ranked 33rd among all backs and looks to be getting worse as the season goes on.
Week Nine
Rice, Rice Baby 1667 at Mollipop 1759 Neurological Damage 1055 at Vick in White 1493 Team 6 1415 at Gator Nation 1541 The Griffters 1869 at The Dick-Taters 1205 Quarter Pounders 1416 at THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 707 WILDCARD BITCHES! 1110 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1187
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 MOLLIPOP (7-2) What a weird fucking season. This may be the most beat up team in the league, no Britt, no Best and now Miles Austin is out again for 2-4 weeks, yet Molly just keeps winning.
While she just missed out on her fourth weekly high score (she can thank her husband for stealing that away), she did have her third game over 1,700 (five over 1,500). She continues to get a ton of points from Rodgers (525 this week). He’s on pace to shatter the all-time record of 443 points per game by Tom Brady in 2007. Rodgers is averaging 485 points per game.
No. 2 RICE, RICE BABY (6-3) Welcome to the record book, Masterson. By scoring 1,667 points in a defeat this week, Rob ties Burrier for 9th most points scored in a defeat. Of course it could have been a win if it wasn’t for Torrey Smith. In cased you missed it, Ray Rice ran for a 76-yard touchdown on the opening play of Sunday night’s game. It would have been 210 points. It would have been enough to put Rob over Molly by 118 points. Instead, Torrey Smith was called for holding, no points for Rob, no win for Rob.
No. 3 VICK IN WHITE (4-5) Carson Palmer and Marshawn Lynch, two names you might not have expected to see in a starting lineup this year, came up strong for Matt. They combined for 619 points. Just goes to show what a strong bench can do. Of course you know Matt will just focus on the single point DeSean Jackson produced Monday night. One point?
No. 4 TEAM 6 (6-3) Sorry Rich, two straight loses will drop you behind Matt, even though he’s still two-games back of you. The fact is, in breakdown, Neatock is beating Burrier 5-4.
I think it’s time to go ahead and declare Peyton Hillis a bust. It’s only Monday and the guy is already being declared out for next week. The dude is a free agent after this year. I can’t remember a player struggling as much staying on the field during a contract year.
No. 5 MOBY THE DICK (6-3) I typically punish myself for bad loses and this one was bad. It was my first weekly low score in two years and it’s the lowest amount of points I’ve scored since 2004. Yes, 2004.
It was just one of those weeks that didn’t workout. Both Peterson (bye) and McFadden (injury) were out. I had no backups. I lost out bidding on two guys, including Reggie Bush. I ended up picking up two guys that were declared out just prior to game time. Oh and for good measure, I traded away a WR who scored over 400 points.
No. 6 THE GRIFFTERS (5-4) Wow, where did that game come from? Philip Rivers finally showed up (428 points despite three interceptions) and Arian Foster continues to dominate. Despite missing two games earlier this season, Foster is now fifth in scoring among all backs (he still hasn’t had a bye-week though).
No. 7 THE DICK-TATERS (4-5) One day you’ll have to explain what possessed you to start Blount over Murray. Seriously, have you seen this kid run? He was facing the Seahawks defense.
Onddly enough the 2011 Calderon’s team reminds me of a lot of Calderon teams from years past. Lots of good players, a ton of depth, but what that does is force him to make decisions every single week. To me, nothing worse than a guessing game in fantasy football. On any given week, Blount, Murray, Starks, Tolbert and Bush can give you 250 points, but they can also give you 50 points.
No. 8 WILDCARD BITCES (3-6) Earlier in the year, Bob was sitting pretty near the top of these rankings. A lot of that had to do with the strength of his surprisingly good backfield of Beanie Wells and Ryan Mathews. However, as the season as gone on, the pair has struggled to stay on the field. This week Mathews was out and his replacement, Heyward-Bey produced zero points. Wells was in and he only scored 42 points.
No. 9 GATOR NATION (4-5) Well, that trade worked out well for one week. On Sunday, as Don and I came to an agreement trading Steven Jackson for Vincent Jackson, I told him that it always seemed like the wide receivers I trade away blow up once their off my roster. V-Jax didn’t disappoint. He caught seven passes for 141 yards and three touchdowns (448 points). You’re welcome.
Now if this showing is for real, then Don is a dangerous team. Of course the jury is still out. In Jackson’s two best games (weeks two and nine) he has 17 catches, 313 yards and five touchdowns. In his six other games he has 17 catches, 300 yards and one touchdown.
No. 10 QUARTER POUNDERS (3-6) Sure Colby’s opponent failed to show up, but don’t be fooled. This was a good win. A ton of players contributed, including Pierre Thomas (218), Antonio Brown (208) and Antonio Gates, remember him (236)?
Still though, there is a lot of work to do. Colby is still only 11th in the standings, he’s only one game out of the final playoff spot, but he loses to just about everyone in a total points tiebreaker, so it’s almost like he’s two games out. Of course this week is the big game. He takes on Jeff. He’s two back of Jeff (who is in the playoffs right now), but Colby has actually out-scored him so far this season.
No, 11 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER (5-4) Somehow, someway Jeff wins three in a row. Considering the fact that he has failed to score at least 1,200 in any of those three wins means its just luck. In fact, he’s actually fallen to last in scoring during this streak.
On the side of good news though is the shocking play of Sproles. Who knew a receiving third-down back could be a legit #1 RB? He is currently 7th in total points for RBs (14th in points per game). He may never produce a 300-pt game, but he’s also never failed to hit at least 100.
No. 12 NUEROLOGICAL DAMAGE (1-8) Okay, it’s time to talk about next year. When Eric took Chris Johnson with the top pick in this year’s draft, I assumed it was the beginning of a three-year era. But now that it appears that Eric is on his way to a second straight first pick, I’m not so sure. While I’m not sure who all the players will be available in next year’s draft, I can tell you that players like Ray Rice, LeSean McCoy and Jamaal Charles will be. Would anyone take Chris Johnson over any of those three? Maybe Charles because he’s coming off an ACL injury.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY:
#2 Rob M vs. #7 Jeff Rob is 3-1 lifetime against Jeff, but this would be their first meeting on the season.
#3 Rich B vs. #6 Matt These two have faced off in the post-season just once, way back in 2003, the year Burrier won his only title (and the only year he won a playoff game).
OUTSIDE LOOKING:
#9 Rick C He lost his first two, then won his next two. He lost the next two after that, then won the next two. He just lost to Griff, thus logic says he will lose to Masterson next week.
#10 Bob The last time Bob missed the playoffs…Brad Pitt was still married to Jennifer Ainston (2005).
#11 Colby If Colby doesn’t make up the games, he will miss the post-season for the third time in five years.
#12 Eric He’s on pace to become the first person in league history to “earn” the top pick in back-to-back seasons.
Week Ten
The Dick-Taters 1487 at Rice, Rice Baby 1115 Gator Nation 1330 at Neurological Damage 1126 Mollipop 1464 at Team 6 1416 THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1085 at The Griffters 1278 Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1032 at Quarter Pounders 1374 Vick in White 1140 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1198
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 MOLLIPOP (7-3) Nice Monday night rally. It sure helps to have Aaron Rodgers. She’s two games up on Griff for the division and two games up on the other division leaders? Does anyone see her faltering down the stretch? Me neither. I’ve already said it before, but it is truly amazing that she’s doing this without three week-one starters…and not just starters, but studs. I want to see another team lose their top RB and their two top receivers and have eight wins.
No 2 RICE, RICE BABY (6-4) The good news for Rob this week is that by winning his division he can earn a top-three seed. The bad news is he can’t seem to break away from the rest of his divisional opponents. This of course should come as no surprise for Rob, who has a thing for losing in the last month.
You like stunning stats? Try this one on for size. Masterson is 10-28 lifetime in the final month of the season. Of course he’s the king of mid-season injuries and losing Bradshaw hasn’t helped.
No. 3 TEAM 6 (6-4) Should we start to worry about Rich? The division leader has dropped three straight. Granted, he has scored over 1,400 points the last two weeks and that’s not bad. However, he probably needs to accept that Peyton Hillis is not coming back to help. Does this mean it’s officially the Chris Ogbonnaya era in Burrier land?
No. 4 THE GRIFFTERS (6-4) It wasn’t Griff’s finest hour, but a win is a win. Of course he can thank Arian Foster yet again for this win. The Texans running back produced another 450-point game. Scary good. Now traditionally I hand out All-Robio awards based on total points, but I do make exceptions in cases where a player scores so damn much, but just missed a couple games. Foster may be one of those players. He’s only third in total points, but his 305ppg blows away the next RB by 24 points per game.
No. 5 THE DICK-TATERS Rich Calderon is not only winning, but he’s dominating thanks to two back up running backs, Michael Bush and DeMarco Murray. The duo produced 828 total points this week in his win over Masterson.
I can’t think of any other situation in league history where a team has benefited like this from backup running backs. The thing is, if these guys were to maintain the amount of carries for the rest of the season, I’d make Calderon my favorite to win it all. But that’s the catch, isn’t it?
Both Darren McFadden and Felix Jones will be back. The good news is I expect Murray to remain the starter, but Bush will surrender the starting spot to McFadden whenever he comes back.
No. 6 VICK IN WHITE (4-6) Matt has now dropped six of eight, but I’ll be honest, he’s only lost two bad games. Here are some of his point totals in some of his loses: 1362, 1555, 1454 and1469. However, it’s not like he’s the unluckiest team. His opponents are eighth in scoring. That’s not great, but that’s not the worse. Of course we have to question the sanity of a guy who still has Chad Ochocinco on his roster.
No. 7 GATOR NATION (5-5) Don’t look now, but Don is sneaking up on everyone. He’s won three straight and he’s scored well in all three games. He’s just one game out of the division lead. He pulled out this win with a very smart Saturday night pick up. He grabbed the Jaguars D and they gave him 309 points and the win. If he would have stuck with the Bills D, he would have lost.
No. 8 WILDCARD BITCHES! Season-saving win. That’s what that was. After dropping five of his last six, Bob needed a win over a team (Matt) that he will be competing with for one of the last playoff spots. In the end, it was Jordy Nelson taking care of business and out-producing Greg Jennings Monday night (236-118)
No. 9 QUARTER POUNDERS (4-6) Now that’s the kind of production Colby expected from Tom Brady (481 points). While Gore came up small (two points), I can’t imagine this will start a trend. It’s a fluke game at worse. Of course this week was a lesson in pick ups…in case #1: Laurent Robinson = good pick up. He’s been good all season and shined replacing Austin. Case #2: Reggie Wayne = bad pick up. Seriously, have you not been paying attention?
Note: Colby has lost his commissioner privileges for a week. For the second time this season he used the commish power for a Sunday pick up and didn’t inform the league or the commish. I’m not sure why this is hard to understand, but I guess we should expect it from a guy who hasn’t paid to be in the league the past three seasons.
No. 10 MOBY THE DICK (6-4) I have to be honest, I’ve gotten real lucky this year and in the end I might be able to trade my way into a good team, but looking back at the keepers I had (even if Vincent Jackson is a bust), man I had a pathetic draft. Just look at it:
Rd 1 – Adrian Peterson (keeper, benefited from having top pick in ’10) Rd 2 – Reggie Wayne (Cut) Rd 3 – Matt Schaub (injured, out for year) Rd 4 – Santonio Holmes (Traded, ranked 32nd among all WRs) Rd 5 – Jospeh Addai (major bust) Rd 6 – Vincent Jackson (Traded) Rd 7 – Chargers D (Cut)
I think you get the point? How the hell am I 6-4?
No, 11 LESBIAN BIEBER THE SNAKE CHARMER (5-5) What happened to Sproles? Negative six points and that was without a turnover. Jeff wants to go to the playoffs. As of this writing, he has fallen to the #8 seed. To make the playoffs, he will probably need to win two of three because of his point totals. This is tough considering he will have to face both Coomers to end the season. He could go 1-2 if Calderon, Don, Matt or Griff go 0-3 and Colby only goes 1-2 to end the season.
No. 12 NUEROLOGICAL DAMAGE (1-9) Well, the good news is Chris Johnson FINALLY had a breakout game. However, is it really good news? Knowing Eric’s luck, Johnson will suddenly play great down the stretch and he’ll have to actually make a tough decision with the first pick in next year’s draft.
Week Eleven
THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1249 at Gator Nation 1456 Mollipop 1017 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 659 Team 6 1018 at Quarter Pounders 1347 Neurological Damage 839 at The Griffters 949 The Dick-Taters 1239 at Vick in White 1441 Rice, Rice Baby 1461 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1118
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 Molly (9-2) With her win, Molly becomes the first person to officially clinch a playoff spot. One more win and she’ll lock down both a division title and her second career top-seed. The last time she did that was way back in 2002. Although I have to say, I’m a bit surprised she didn’t spend all her money to go get Kevin Smith (if she had, she would have gotten him). Sure McGahee hasn’t been bad, but the fact remains, RB2 remains the only hole on her roster.
No. 2 RICE RICE BABY (7-4) With two games remaining, it appears it will finally happen. Masterson will wrap up his first and what will be his only division title. He’s up just one game over Don and me, but since he’s out-scored us both by so much, he would have to go 0-2, while one of use would have to go 2-0 to take it away from him. Speaking of scoring, Rob also passed Molly in total points. Ten years in and Rob has never won a scoring title either. Lost in all the regret of passing on Aaron Rodgers with the first pick, Tony Romo has averaged 412ppg over his last three for Rob.
No. 3 VICK IN WHITE (5-6) It’s amazing what one win can do. Last week at this time, Matt was thinking about trading away the season for the future. That’s what 4-6 does to some people. Yet, one win over a surging Calderon and not only is Matt back in the playoff picture (7th seed), but he’s only one game out of the division lead. In fact, if the fading Burrier’s lose to Calderon next week and Matt beats Colby, he’s in first place, since he’s third in the league in scoring. No matter where Matt ends up, with Jones-Drew running strong and Andre Johnson expected back, he remains my pick to bring home the championship mug.
No. 4 THE GRIFFTERS (7-4) You see, life without Arian Foster is not quite so fun, is it? Clearly the Roy Helu experiment has not panned out. It has become obvious that Griff must go three-wide, but despite the 7-4 record, despite the fact Griff is 5th in scoring, I do not fear this team? I mean, I personally fear this team because my team sucks, but not against the top tier teams. I just see Wes Welker, Anquan Boldin and A.J. Green and I go, m’eh.
No. 5 THE DICK-TATERS (5-6) A tough loss, but I’m not sure I would call it a reality check. As long as Michael Bush and DeMarco Murray remain in the lineup, then there is hope for this team. Of course if one of them flops, he also now has Kevin Smith (good pick up). This gives Rich seven running backs, which makes me ask? Do we need to consider a limit to how many players one can have at each position? Seriously, seven?
No. 6 GATOR NATION (6-5) We have plenty of solid streaks continuing into 2011 and few are as impressive as Don’s playoff streak. With a victory over me this past week, Don now has a legit shot at making it eight straight seasons in the post-season. That is a stunning number. That means the last time he failed to win at least six games in a season was way back in 2004. So far, the Vincent Jackson trade has been a positive. In three weeks he has produced both a 448 and a 376-point game.
No. 7 QUARTER POUNDERS (5-6) Clearly the Pounders deserve a big jump up, even if Colby is still outside the playoffs looking in. They’ve won three in a row and for the second straight year, Colby has rallied the troops in the second part of the season. However, thanks to his total points (10th overall), Colby is a long-shot to make the post-season. Now the good news is, he controls his own destiny. He still gets to face two teams (Matt, Calderon) he is directly competing with for a post-season spot. If he wins both, he’s in…no doubt. However, if he just goes 1-1, he’s going to need help. Shall I explain? Okay, take a breath…here we go…
In that scenario, Colby would need either Matt or Calderon to go 0-2. If Matt goes 1-1, he won’t catch him in points. If Calderon goes 1-1, then he would need to make up 700 points (unlikely). Now there is also the matter of Don and myself. We both have 6 wins, so if either of us go 0-2, then he could tie us, but again, points are an issue. It’s unlikely he’ll catch Don, down about 900. His best shot is to catch me. I’m up by about 500 points, but I’m struggling to field a team and I haven’t scored much over the last month.
So again, 2-0 is good. If just 1-1 then he needs either Matt or Calderon to go 0-2 (or 1-1 and catch up in points) or have Don or I go 0-2 (and catch us in points). On top of all that, Colby still needs to fight off Bob and Jeff. Now Jeff isn’t a big deal. It is unlikely he’ll go 2-0 and he’s the one guy Colby is beating in total points. The problem is Bob. For Don and I to go 0-2, it would require Bob to win both his games. Now Bob is a game behind Colby. If Mr. Hall goes 1-1 and Bob goes 2-0, then he needs to make up 700 points there. Again, tough. Got all that? Good.
No. 8 TEAM 6 (6-5) That’s right, I’m dropping Burrier way down, below everyone else in his division. What’s the deal? Do I hate Burrier? Some. Have I lost faith in his team? Yep. Sure players like Drew Brees and Rob Gronkowski will keep Rich in a lot of games, but you really need a three-headed monster to survive in this league. Who else does Rich have? Brandon “tops out at 75 yards” Jacobs? Shonn “No 200-pt games” Greene? Dez “Scores a touchdown, then tweaks a body part” Bryant? Torrey “I have 870 points in two games, but just 600 in my seven other games” Smith? Maybe the Ravens are suppose to be that third great player, but they haven’t broken 100 in over three weeks. I can seriously see Rich losing his last two, losing the division lead, sneaking into the post-season as a 7th or 8th seed, riding a six-game losing streak. Ugly. Speaking of ugly…
No. 9 HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS (6-5) What a brutal, brutal year. When you’re missing both of your star backs with the same damn injury, you know it’s not your season. Right now, McFadden is still out, now Peterson is out. Schaub is lost for the season and right when Earl Bennett was establishing himself as a low-end number one WR, Jay Cutler goes out for the remainder of the fantasy season. Did I mention DeSean Jackson is in a walking boot? The question is, can I get into the post-season without winning another game? Let’s break it down:
I would be 6-7 and I would need four teams to stay below me. Eric is out, so that’s one. Jeff is one game out. I’m assuming he’s not going 2-0, so even if he goes 1-1, I can take him in total points, so that’s two. That leaves two teams. My best bet is Bob and then have either Colby, Calderon or Matt finish 0-2. If Bob just goes 1-1, that would be a third team stuck below me. Out of Colby, Calderon and Matt, if just one goes 0-2, I’m in. If all three go 1-1, I would need to stay above Colby in points (won’t be easy). Maybe, just maybe, if I can luck my way into the post-season, I can have Peterson and McFadden back by then.
No. 10 WILDCARD BITCHES (4-7) Well, if Bob bothered to read anything above (I know you guys just read your own), he would see he has a difficult, but not impossible road ahead. First, finishing 1-1 is not good enough. He’ll need to go 2-0. The good news is, he’ll be favorite in both match ups against Don and myself. So let’s assume Bob finishes 2-0. What needs to happen? First, he’ll need either Don or I to go 0-2. This is very possible, since Bob would be responsible for one of our loses and then we both need to face Masterson. That’s all doable. Now if we deal with just Don and myself, all Bob needs to do is pass Don is total points (he’s down by 200) and hold me off (he’s up by 270). Again, doable. In this scenario, Bob would get in, no matter what happens with anyone else. Now if Bob fails to pass Don in total points or let’s say one of us goes 1-1, then Bob would need help. He would need either Calderon or Matt to go 0-2 (and finish 5-8) or Colby to go just 1-1 and then Bob would just need to maintain his total points lead (about 700 points) over Colby. Got it? Good.
No. 11 NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE First, congratulations to Eric, who finally landed a job after graduating college. He will be heading up to Green Bay, Wisconsin to cut some cheese. Second, congratulations for becoming only the second person (and only active person) to finish dead last in wins two-straight seasons. It’s official after Eric lost to Griff this past week.
No. 12 THE SNAKE CHARMER (5-6) You picked up Toby Gerhart and you’re not even going to start him? Shame. Anyhow, Jeff has finally fallen out of the playoff picture. He’s last in points, so it’s not like he belongs there. Of course that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a shot. I believe there will be one or two 6-7 teams in the post-season, but because of his points, 6-7 won’t be good enough for Jeff. He needs to finish 2-0. He maybe can take care of business against 1-10 Eric next week, but can he take down 7-4 Griff this week? He did beat the Coomer way back in week two. The fact is, everyone should be rooting for Griff this week. A Jeff defeat eliminates him On a side note, Jeff is averaged 1,134 points per game. If this continues, he will be the highest scoring lowest scoring team in league history. The highest low was in 2002, when the worst scoring team (former member, Brian) averaged 1,088ppg).
Week Twelve
Rice, Rice Baby 1798 at THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 1086 Neurological Damage 1407 at Mollipop 1684 Team 6 1623 at The Dick-Taters 1366 The Griffters 1281 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 917 Quarter Pounders 1697 at Vick in White 1256 WILDCARD BITCHES! 986 at Gator Nation 894
Tuesday Thoughts
No. 1 RICE, RICE BABY I know Masterson is going to be pissed I did this, but I have to put Rob back up top. Yes, even though Molly beat Rob just three weeks ago. The fact is, over the last two weeks, Rob has beaten Molly in head-2-head, as well as four of the last six. If this past week is an indication of what Chris Johnson can do down the stretch, then Masterson is officially stacked. He got 293 fantasy points and that was with a fumble and no touchdowns.
PLAYOFF OUTLOOK: He’s a lock for the #2 seed. His highest seed ever.
No. 2 MOLLIPOP Sorry for dropping you Molly, especially after scoring nearly 1,700 points. You shouldn’t look at it as a drop, but just a raise for Masterson. If I could, I would say he’s 1A and you’re 1B. My biggest concern for this team remains consistency at running back. Both McGahee and Mendenhall can have solid days and produce 250-300 points games. Of course they can also produce sub-100 point games (as Mendenhall did this week). As good as Aaron Rodgers, Jimmy Graham and Victor Cruz are, it’s going to be tough for Molly to win three straight in the post-season if these three can’t put up the stats each week.
PLAYOFF OUTLOOK: She’s in and she’s the top seed, first time since 2004.
No. 3 THE GRIFFTERS The win wasn’t impressive, but it doesn’t have to be. Griff already has his ticket for the show. All he’s doing is evaluating his players so he can set the proper lineup come playoff time. Of course nothing can be more frustrating than evaluating the likes of Roy Helu. Griff starts him, he scores 56 points. He benches him and he scores 324 points. Obviously Griff has to start him, right? Maybe. The fact is, the season is over for the Redskins. It’s time to see what the young kids can do.
PLAYOFF OUTLOOK: He’s in and he’s the #4 seed.
No. 4 QUARTER POUNDERS I put Matt in the top four over and over and he goes ahead and loses. I put Calderon here and he goes ahead and loses. No one wants to join Masterson and the Coomer’s in the top four. Well, Colby will get his shot. No team has grown more as the season has gone along. He’s now won four straight, recovering from that awful 2-6 start. The fact is, Brady is clicking like he was earlier in the season and Gates is finally healthy and looking like a top-five TE. Colby also isn’t missing Mike Wallace thanks to Laurent Robinson. On a side note, no team is going to be cheering harder for Colby than me. The fact is, with all my injuries it is unlikely I can beat Bob next week, so the only way into the post-season is if Colby beats Calderon for me. Go Pounders.
PLAYOFF OUTLOOK: A win means in. He’s currently the #6 seed, but if he wins and Don loses (or if he can pass Don in total points), he would move up to the 5th seed. A loss doesn’t mean he’s out. It would mean he and the rest of the 6-7 teams will be fighting over total points.
No. 5 THE DICKTATERS I actually think Calderon had an off game, yet he still nearly scored 1,400 points. That’s the good news. The bad news is, the playoffs start next week for Rich. If he loses, his season is over. If he wins, he’s in. I still believe this is a dangerous lower seed if Rich can sneak in. Clearly Felix Jones’ return is not effecting Murray’s touches and as long as McFadden is out (no clue when he will return), then Bush is still a stud.
PLAYOFF OUTLOOK: Win and in. Lose and out. If he wins, Calderon could sneak all the way up to the 5th seed if Don, Robio and Matt all lose.
No. 6 VICK IN WHITE Somehow, some way Matt still has an invite to the post-season party. He has dropped five of seven and seven of ten. He hasn’t won two in a row since weeks one and two. Yet, he’s still in there because he’s still scored so many points. He’s still third in scoring, which helps him win any tiebreaker against the teams competing for a lower seed (the two folks ahead of him are locked into the first and second seeds). This is the great irony, because if teams like Matt, Colby and Calderon all get in, the lower seeds could all be favored to win in the quarterfinals against the higher seeds.
PLAYOFF OUTLOOK: Currently #8 seed. If he wins, he’s in. He could move up to the 5th seed, depending on what happens to Don, Colby and Robio. Now if Matt loses, he stays in the post-season if both Bob and Calderon lose. However, if one of them wins and Matt loses, he is out.
No. 7 WILDCARD BITCHES It was a sad ending indeed. 37-straight games scoring 1,000 in a row is damn impressive. It’s a record that should stand for a while. Ironically the new active leader is fucking Neatock again, the man who has two career 24-game streaks. He has 20-straight now. Like Bob said, he left a ton of points on his bench (Matthews: 238, Wells: 417), but that’s the facts of life for Bob. He’s going to need to make a lot of good decisions come playoff time, which actually starts next week for him. The good news for Bob is that he’ll get to face me. No team is struggling more than me, so it’s hard to imagine him losing.
PLAYOFF PICTURE: If Bob wins, it is not a guarantee that he gets in. If he wins and Calderon loses, he’s in. If Calderon wins, along with Bob, then Bob would be competing with all other 6-win teams. There could up to six fighting for the final four playoff spots. At the very least, if Calderon and Bob wins, they’ll be four fighting for two spots. Total points win. Obviously if Bob loses, he’s out.
No. 8 GATOR NATION Let’s not underestimate it, losing Fred Jackson was a crushing blow. He was having an MVP-type season. Picking up Spiller was smart and it could work out that Spiller can produce, but he certainly didn’t against the Jets. However, let’s keep in mind, he had 19 carries. Prior to that game, the most he had was five in one game. Hopefully for Don, Spiller can continue to improve and be ready to be a feature back come playoff time.
PLAYOFF PICTURE: Currently Don is the #5 seed. If he wins, he could remain the 5th seed if Colby loses or if Don can keep his point lead over Colby. If he loses, Don would need a combo of teams to win for him to fall out of the post-season. He would need Bob, Matt and Calderon to also win. In that scenario, Calderon would need to maintain his total point lead over Don. If he does, then it comes down to Don and Colby (assuming he loses to Calderon). The one with the most points is in, the one with the least amount of points is out.
No. 9 TEAM 6 Burrier pulls out a surprising win. It certainly helps to get nearly 1,000 points from just two sources, Brees and the Ravens D. Burrier still believes that if Peyton Hillis can comeback, he’s a contender again. I’m not sure I’m buying it. The fact is, Hillis isn’t the only problem Rich has. Greene still isn’t a great back, even with Tomlinson out. Maclin isn’t healthy and Dez Bryant isn’t consistent enough. I still believe Burrier is the reason why a lot of teams are hoping they land at the 6th seed, so they can face him.
PLAYOFF OUTLOOK: He’s wrapped up the division title. The only way he could lose it is if he loses, Colby wins and makes up about 900 points. Yeah, not going to happen. He’s the third seed and that’s where he will remain.
No. 10 MOBY THE DICK That’s five loses in a row and it appears the only thing that can stop the bleeding is if and when my season finally ends. Still, I’m just hoping and praying that I can get in and then maybe get either Peterson or McFadden back for the post-season. Right now I am a big fan of Colby. The fact is, if I lose to Bob (and I’m assuming I do), then I can still get into the playoffs if Colby beats Calderon. That is it.
No. 11 NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE The good news is, at least this year, Jeff will “earn” the ‘Lowest Scoring Team’ Award. Anyhow, the good news is next year looks good for Eric. Yeah, I know I said that last year, but this year it looks really good. Here’s the deal, heading into next year’s draft, Eric has two second-team All-Robio players, Matt Forte and Steve Smith, plus his four-top picks, including the top one. Unlike a lot of seasons, there are plenty of solid backs to pick from. This includes the two first-team running backs (McCoy and Rice), both who enter back into the draft pool next year.
DRAFT OUTLOOK: I still like LeSean McCoy as the top pick. Of course if I miss the playoffs, I doubt I’ll keep Peterson, so he is an option.
No. 12 LESBIAN SNAKE CHARMER Okay, it’s just about official. It is over. Jeff can’t overtake any of the six win teams in total points. Ironically the two worst teams (Jeff/Eric) will face off in the final week in what may be the most meaningless game in league history. The fact is, they’re not even playing for seeding, since Eric has locked in the top pick and Jeff has locked in the second pick.
DRAFT OUTLOOK: Jeff potentially could be picking between McCoy, Rice or Peterson. Nice options.
Week Thirteen
THE HIGH ANKLE SPRAINS 943 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1582 Mollipop 1795 at The Griffters 2155 The Dick-Taters 599 at Quarter Pounders 1232 Neurological Damage 947 at Lesbian Bieber The Snake Charmer 1035 Team 6 1782 at Vick in White 1864 Gator Nation 1298 at Rice, Rice Baby 1521
Tuesday Thoughts
In today’s Tuesday Thoughts, I’m going to save the playoff talk for later. I got plenty of write ups coming later this week. Today, I’m going to focus on what we’ve seen over the past thirteen weeks.
These are not my rankings, but rather the playoff seeding.
#1 MOLLIPOP (10-3) So she ended this great season with a loss, so what? Maybe she could use some humility. It’s been one hell of an amazing run. Molly may have the most improbable 10-win team in league history.
Think about this…she lost both Kenny Britt and Jahvid Best for the season. She’s barely got to enjoy Austin Miles. These aren’t chumps. These are elite-level players. Now some teams fall apart after losing one star, Molly just dominated the league.
She not only took the top seed, but she stole the scoring title on Monday night from Masterson. Now that’s cold. Her 1,536 points per game is the second most scored in league history. Again, she did this with three starters out.
#2 RICE RICE BABY (9-4) Rob lost the scoring title to Molly on Monday night, but no shame in his final results. Rob’s 1,530 points per game is the third most ever scored in league history. He’s scored over 1,500 six times this season. He’s done it just eight times over the last four years.
It’s been a great turnaround from last year’s disaster. The same holds true for Molly, both missed the playoffs last year. Now both have the potential to finish 2011 as the greatest team ever. Yes, even greater than Neatock’s 2009. Obviously they’ll need to win it all and to keep scoring at a high rate to do it, but I’m not going to doubt these teams.
#3 TEAM 6 (7-6) Burrier started the season 6-1 but ended it 1-5. That’s the bad news. The good news is, despite this most recent defeat, he’s actually play some solid ball the past two weeks, scoring 1,623 and 1,782. Forget wins and loses, that’s how you want to enter the post-season.
Oddly enough though, because he couldn’t take care of business against Matt this past weekend, he’s going to get another shot at him in the quarterfinals. Worse yet, he’s probably going to be the underdog.
No matter, he earned his fifth division title. This ties him for second most of all-time with Molly (who also earned a fifth division title). Unless the NFL expands its season and we go back to 14-game regular seasons, this should stand forever (since we will be losing divisions next year).
#4 THE GRIFFTERS Now that’s how you finish a season. Griff’s 2,155 is the 8th most points ever scored in a game. It could have been higher, but since the game was a blowout, Rivers stopped throwing in the third quarter. Now suddenly the pre-season favorite, who lost that title when Jamaal Charles went out, may again be the favorite heading into the first-round.
He’s won four-straight to rebound from his three-game mid-season losing streak. Granted, three of those wins came against three teams not invited to the post-season. Still, he took care of business of his wife.
#5 QUARTER POUNDERS Six weeks ago, the season looked over. Colby was 2-6, Brady was regressing, there was no second running back, Gates couldn’t stay healthy and the receivers couldn’t hit 200 if we’ve spotted them 100 points.
That was then, this is now. Colby has rolled off five straight wins, including sweeping his division. That’s pretty damn impressive. 2-6 to the 5th seed and the reality is he’s never really solved the hole at his second running back spot. I’m not sure how far this team can go, but no matter what, it was another solid Colby recovery.
#6 VICK IN WHITE Nothing has come easy for Matt this season. He hasn’t won two straight since weeks one and two. He needed a Maurice Jones-Drew miracle to even squeeze into the playoffs. Do you want to know what’s crazy? Despite finishing third in scoring on the season, until Matt beat Burrier this weekend, he hadn’t beaten a playoff team since beating Colby in week two. That’s right, Matt is just 2-6 against the current crop of playoff teams.
#7 WILDCARD BITCHES! The true title defense begins now. Like Matt above, Bob hasn’t won two straight since weeks one and two. Yet, here he is, back in the show. In the first month of this season, there arguable was no better team. Bob started just 2-2, but he was scoring, averaging 1,592ppg. However, his running backs struggled to stay healthy, so Bob kicked off a couple trades, including ballsy one that send Tom Brady packing, putting his future in the hands of Cam Newton.
While Bob has never dominated, he’s won three of five and gets the prized number seven seed…the one seed that almost always finds a way to pull off the upset.
#8 GATOR NATION Don’s amazing streak continues. That’s eight years and counting. That’s eight straight playoff appearances. This one he earned. After opening up 0-3, Don didn’t panic. At 2-5, Don didn’t panic. Instead, he built up a collection of solid backs, pulled off a trade, watched as Percy Harvin got hot and won four straight. He stumbled at the end, dropping his final two, but as we all know, the elder Vozzola is a wicked lower seed.
LOOKING AHEAD TO NEXT YEAR:
#4 PICK – ROBIO MURRAY
What an awful year it has been. The fact is, my 6-2 start was really hiding how bad this season was. I was getting lucky for the second straight year as my opponents failed to put up some points.
Sure I had great keepers, but my second-round pick (Wayne) was a bust. My fourth round pick (Holmes) should have been a tight end and nothing I drafted after that paid off. Nothing. The only good player I drafted, DeMarco Murray, was cut way before he could produce.
Then the wheels fell off. First, McFadden went down, followed by Matt Schaub and then finally Peterson. Of course good teams like Molly found ways to recover from injuries. Me, not so much. Now I will miss the post-season for the fourth time in eight years.
#3 PICK – JEFF GREENBLATT If Jeff ever wants to find success in this league, he’s going to need to learn how to finish this thing we call a season. In 2009, he dropped his final four (including his only playoff game). In 2010, he lost his final six games, erasing a 4-3 start. This year, Jeff kissed away a 5-4 start, dropping his last four.
Of course this was all a mirage. He was last in scoring and his opponents produced the second lowest point total.
#2 RICH CALDERON I’m not quite sure how this happened. Yes, Rich got off to a rocky start. He was 0-2, last in scoring. Six weeks in he was just 2-4 and near the bottom in scoring. Yet, when he was able to insert Michael Bush and DeMarco Murray into his starting lineup, he took two in a row, including a victory over Molly.
He was going to roll into the post-season and raise hell, right? Um, no.
In the end, he couldn’t get it done against a tough division. In the end, in the final weekend of the regular season, his saviors, Bush and Murray, came up real small…scoring a combined 116 points.
However, Rich should be use to it. The fact is, when Rich ends his seasons, he does it in style. Just look at the numbers. Nine seasons in and Rich always ends on the lowest notes. Calderon averages just 919ppg in his final game of a season. He’s failed to hit 1,000 five times. Last year was his worst, scoring just 726 in the quarterfinals, but he beat that this season, scoring just 599 points.
While this game wasn’t in the bottom 20 of lowest scoring games, it was Rich’s lowest scoring game ever. Also, it was just the third time in 119 career games Rich has earned the weekly low score.
#1 ERIC VOZZOLA What more can I say that I haven’t already said? It has been a disinterest two seasons for Eric. First, he’s tied David for the least amount of wins (1-12) in a season. His only win was against Bob. Over the past two years, he’s 3-23. He’ll become the first person in league history to earn the first pick in back-to-back years.
At what point can Vozzola turn this mess around? He’s been in this league for 11 years now and he’s still never tasted a playoff victory. Let’s hope Matt Forte, Steve Smith and the top pick in the draft can change that in 2012.
QUICK PEEK AT THE QUARTERFINALS MATCH UPS:
#1 MOLLIPOP VS #8 GATOR NATION They’ve been in the league a combined 21 seasons, but have faced off just once in the post-season. It was way back in 2006. Molly was the #2 seed, but Don pulled off the upset, beating Molly 1499-1296. He would go on to win his first of two titles.
#2 RICE, RICE BABY VS #7 WILDCARD BITCHES Masterson swept the season series this year, taking Bob down twice. Masterson has never been seeded this high, while Bob has never been seeded this low. These two have met once before in the post-season. As the second seed, Bob took down Rob way back in 2004, 1825-1494 on route to winning his first of two titles.
#3 TEAM 6 VS #6 VICK IN WHITE Burrier’s history is pretty well known by this point. He won the title way back in 2003. Yet, he hasn’t won a playoff game since. That’s a long freaking time. Meanwhile Matt has won plenty of playoff games and two championships. However, these two have met only once in the post-season. It was way back in 2003 and Burrier won, taking down rookie Matt, 1592-1128.
#4 THE GRIFFTERS VS #5 QUARTER POUNDERS Griff, the runner-up king, is a solid 7-2 in the first-round. Colby is a not-too-shabby 3-2. Both know how to advance. In fact, last year Colby faced Matt, the team who was rocking the league heading into the post-season, but Colby just brushed him aside in the quarterfinals. Of all the match ups coming up, these two are the only ones to face off twice previously in the playoffs before…both were won by Griff. In 2004, Griff eliminated Colby in round one, 1396-1349. That season Colby was the scoring champ. The following year, Griff and Colby faced off in the finals and again Griff won, this time easily, 1882-739. It would be Griff’s only title.
Quarterfinals
Mollipop 1344 at Gator Nation 1399 Rice, Rice Baby 1623 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1625 Team 6 1760 at Vick in White 1617 The Griffters 1227 at Quarter Pounders 2197
Tuesday Thoughts
Wow, what an ending to what will probably go down as the best weekend of Robioland playoff football ever. Three games came down to the wire, all three involved last minute, in one case a last second lead change. The one game that wasn’t close, was still solid, as it was record breaking. In fact, we saw a ton of playoff records go down this weekend.
FIRST, THOSE CLOSE GAMES:
FINAL LEAD TAKEN: Sunday night, final game: 3:20 in the fourth.
Don beat Molly bY 55 points, but he actually trailed with abut 3:20 to go in the game, when Molly took her first lead early in the fourth quarter. However, free agent Giants’ TE, a man who caught just one ball previously in this game, caught a eight-yard TD pass. This gave Don the lead for good.
FINAL LEAD TAKEN: Sunday night, final game: 5:52 in the fourth
Ever better, Burrier need just 15 points from Dez Bryant to beat Neatock. Piece of cake, right? Well, Bryant was shutout in the game for over 54 minutes. It looked like Matt would receive his miracle. Yet, Bryant hauled in a 50-yard TD (his only reception of the game) and Neatock was sent packing.
FINAL LEAD TAKEN: Monday night, final game: 1:36
Then we have what may be the second greatest game in league history (behind only Bob’s title game win over Griff in 2005). Masterson had what was thought to be a comfortable lead, then Jackson decided to have his best game of the year. Still, it didn’t look like it would be enough. Yet with 1:36 in garbage time, the Rams threw a screen pass to Jackson and he picked up 13 yards. Bam, Bob in the lead by four. Still though, Jackson got the ball again, a run for no gain. That’s -2. If it happened again, it’s a tie, Masterson wins. Nope. They sit Jackson and run Cadillac Williams twice. Ball game.
RECORDS BROKEN:
1. Most 1,600-pt games, three broke 1600, one broke 1700 and one broke 2,100. That’s six in total who broke 1,600. The previous record was three twice before, 2009 and 2010.
2. Most points scored in a defeat. Masterson’s 1,623 points was the most points scored without a win. Matt’s 1,617 was the second most in playoff history.
3. As of now, Bob has beaten Rob by two points. That’s the closest game n league history.
4. The four quarterfinals teams scored a total of 12,792, an average of 1,599. The most in league history. Every team scored at least 1,200 points.
TEAMS REMAINING:
TEAM 6 Yep, the one higher seed we all thought would fall is the only one still standing. Even he can’t believe it. The streak finally comes to a close. Rich Burrier wins his first playoff game since 2003. Yes, 2003. He certainly earned it. He did it despite Peyton Hillis scoring 30 points and Jeremy Maclin hitting just 24 points. He continues to dominate with his two stars, Brees (423) and Gronkowski (428). More importantly, Shoon Greene is producing stud stats at the right time. Next up is Don.
QUARTER POUNDERS I hate to drag my name into this at all, but modern day Colby reminds me of a young me. A rough draft, a shitty start, yet a deal here, a free agent pick up there and just like that, he’s rolling into the post-season and looking like the favorite. For whatever reason we keep waiting for this team to come back down to earth. Surely Robinson can’t keep it up? There is no way Antonio Brown is a legit threat at wide receiver, right? So far wrong…but now the fun really begins as Tom Brady (Colby) gets to face off against his old team (Bob).
WILDCARD BITCHES! Again, everything is depended on CBS not changing anything. Bob does something no defending champ has done since 2001, win a playoff game the following year. For the record, the last time a defending champ won a semis match was 2000. Steven Jackson will get most of the credit for Bob’s victory, but let’s be sure to give thanks to the person most responsible for this…Carson Palmer. The Raiders quarterback threw four interceptions, including one that was returned for a pick-six. That’s 240 points for Bob’s Packers D. Thank you, Carson.
GATOR NATION For whatever reason, there is no harder knockout than Don Vozzola when he is a lower seed. When Don is a fifth seed or higher, he is a stunning 0-4. When he is a 7th or an 8th seed, he is 8-2 in the playoffs. Early in the week, I talked about elite quarterbacks. Those elites I talked about lived up to the hype. However, I never saw Matt Ryan out-producing Aaron Rodgers. The Falcons quarterback beat Rodgers, 492 to 300. Prior to this meaning, Rodgers bested Ryan, 12-1 in weekly head-to-head.
OUT OF IT:
MOLLIPOP What was looking like one of the greatest seasons ever, is now arguable the greatest playoff flop in league history. For Christ’s Sake, she scored the second most points in regular season history. Still, I’m not going to bash her without congratulating her. She had no business scoring this many points and producing this many wins losing so many star players. It was one hell of a save by our sole lady.
RICE, RICE BABY Don’t blame this on a Robio jinx. This is and always has been a Masterson jinx. No team has had less luck in playoff points than Masterson. Hell, Bob’s 1,625 is on par for Rob’s opponents. They average in the post-season 1,493ppg. That’s many. However, there is plenty of blame to go around on this one. You can start with the Rams WR core, who failed to catch a ball on the four fourth-and-one tries, before they finally handed it off to Steven Jackson. How about Ray Rice’s fumble with eight minutes to go in the fourth quarter (-45)? How about the Raiders head coach, who tried a fake field goal instead of a easy chip shot field goal for Janikowski (-30 missed out on)? Roddy White dropped an 11-yard pass (20 points lost)? Then there was Romo missing Miles Austin with three minutes to go Sunday night. That should have been another 130 points.
VICK IN WHITE Last year, Matt entered the post-season as the hottest team in the league, but was upset in the first round. This season he fought off a extremely unlucky season to get into the post-season, but couldn’t take down Burrier a second time. That’s two straight disappointing finishes by two very talented teams. Looking ahead he’s going to have his work cut out for him. When the 2012 season rolls around, there will be no late round kepers to help him along, no Welker in the 13th, no Aaron Rodgers in round 10. Forget about LeSean McCoy in the 9th. Matt will have to rebuild from scratch next year.
THE GRIFFTERS Heading into the post-season, after Griff allowed the seeding rules to be changed back, I had decided I was going to feel real bad if Griff lost, but would have won if he was the third seed. Luckily for me, he would have lost anyhow. In the end, Griff had no real shot at winning, but it had to be disappointing to see his two biggest players, his two best keepers (Foster and Finley) both come up so small in the biggest game of the year. Foster produced just 65 fantasy points, while Finely was shutout. How the hell does Finley get zero points in a game where the Packers scored 46? The good news is, Griff still has Foster back one more year and he can pick between Finley in the 4th or Welker in the 3rd.
ROBIO Let’s talk keeper predictions: Adrian Peterson (1), Marshawn Lynch (7) and McFadden (11)
JEFF Let’s talk keeper predictions: Steve Johnson (4), Reggie Bush (6), Darren Sproles (13)
RICH C Let’s talk keeper predictions: Calvin Johnson (2), Michael Bush (10), DeMarco Murray (13)
ERIC Let’s talk keeper predictions: Matte Forte (5), Steve Smith (8), Bears D (12)
Semifinals
Team 6 1405 at Gator Nation 1211 Quarter Pounders 1180 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1201
Tuesday Thoughts
What a weekend of football. Two more tight games undecided until the final minutes of the final games. Clearly Bob may just be a team of destiny, but let’s focus on the higher seed first.
TEAM 6 Let’s be honest, this is the Drew Brees show. He’s produced 1,078 points this point season. Too bad Rich kept him, he could have had him for two more years and not just one. Still, I would have never thought that Burrier could pull out a semifinals win with Rob Gronkowski coming up little and the Ravens D coming up tragic.
WILDCARD BITCHES! Destiny? Maybe. Bob needed Steven Jackson to have his best game of the year to beat Masterson by two in the quarters. This week he held a 50-point lead, down one player against Colby. In both cases he didn’t take the final lead until the final minutes of Monday night. He didn’t even need to score a lot of points to do it this second time, scoring just 1,201. This is Bob’s style though. He’s won three semifinals games in his career and he has never broken 1,300 points in any of the three.
Anyhow, I’ll have more on these two later in the week when I offer up my final predictions.
QUARTER POUNDERS Another team left shaking their heads after a painful defeat by Bob. I’m sure Masterson can relate. In these close games there are always moments that are game changers even if we don’t know it yet. This game had three that I saw personally.
– Gore not playing in the final five minutes of the 49ers blowout. They ran the ball six times during this stretch, all going to backup Dixon.
– Clipping call. Antonio caught a 20-yard pass with less than four minutes to play. It would have given Colby a comfortable 50-ish point lead. However, there was a clipping call, eliminating the catch. On the next play, Mike Wallace caught a pass that put Bob back in the lead.
– Hakeem Nicks Drop. Midway through the first quarter in the Giants/Redskins game, Nicks got past all the defenders. Eli launched a perfect pass. Nicks had a 70-yard TD (198 fantasy points) in his hands, but he dropped it.
GATOR NATION Sure sitting Spiller was brutal, but the fact is, Don started three wide receivers and a tight end and they caught a combined 9 balls for 177 yards. That’s not going to get it done.
LOOKING AHEAD TO NEXT YEAR’S DRAFT: #1 Eric – LeSean McCoy…it could be Ray Rice. #2 Rich C – Ray Rice…Here’s the deal, does Calderon use the second pick to draft a RB when he’s going to be keeping Murray and another back (either Bush or Blount)? #3 Jeff – Chris Johnson…Not bad. #4 Robio – Adrian Peterson…We shall see. I will probably be wheeling and dealing this off-season since my top three keepers are all running backs. #5 Matt – Maurice Jones-Drew…a lot of great keepers in round one. #6 Griff – Roddy White… most points on the board. #7 Rob M – A.J. Green…too early? Probably. Can’t see Rob taking a risk with Best or Blount. #8 Molly – Aaron Rodgers (keeper) #9 Don – Jahvid Best…huge risk, tons of upside #10 Colby – LeGarrette Blount…he’s due for a rebound, right? #11 Rich C – Drew Brees (keeper) #12 Bob – Mike Wallace. But is he still #1 in Pittsburgh?
Championship Game
Team 6 1283 at WILDCARD BITCHES! 1590
Tuesday Thoughts
It’s official, Bob is the 2011 Robioland Football Champ.
Thanks to his most impressive finals game to date, Bob has taken down Burrier, 1,590-1,283.
Mr. Castrone becomes the league’s first back-to-back champion since 2000. He also becomes the first person to win at least nine games in six straight seasons. How impressive is that? Put it this way, only two teams in league history have produced at least six nine-win seasons total, forget in a row. Those two are Griff and myself and we spent half our time in the league playing a 14-game regular season.
There can be little doubt Bob is the Master of This Domain. He puts up the points, he puts up the wins and he puts up the championships.
He becomes only the second person in league history to earn three mugs.
He did it with arguable the year’s best draft pick (Cam Newton). He’s the type of player who could be hurting us all for at least two more years.
He did it with a trade, landing two top-10 wide receivers (Wallace and Nelson), who contributed 494 points this past weekend. In fact, his title team consisted of three players he traded for (when you add in Steven Jackson).
Congratulations Bob.
As for Burrier, sure it’s never fun to lose in the title game, but at least you’re not going through the pain that both Masterson and Colby are probably still going through, dealing with a last second Monday night defeat to Bob.
In the end, the season has to be labeled a success. Rich went two straight years without a playoff appearance and he knocked down his first two post-season wins since 2003. That’s called getting over the hump.
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