Not Finished. Still Working On It.

Week One

Big Johnsons 1457 at Quarter Pounders 1280 God’s Cock 1226 at The Griffters 1732 Vick in Canton 1071 at Otis Murray & The Knights 995 The Swamp 814 at Mollipop 1477 Gator Nation 913 at Team 6 846 MAN-DATE 1226 at Rice, Rice Baby 1261

Tuesday Thoughts

Is Bob’s hari getting more curls?

Yep, it’s the return of “Tuesday Thoughts.” I know, I know, this is the only thing you idiots look forward to on Tuesdays. Enjoy.

No. 1 BIG JOHNSONS (BOB) Hollywood Bob Castrone didn’t earn high score, but he’s still going to bring home the top spot in these here Robio Rankings. The fact is, the league starlet nearly cracked 1,500 points despite one-half of his Johnson failing to catch more than three balls for thirty yards.

Overall, Bobby has to be pleased with what he saw. His Patriots duo of Brady/Welker is looking strong. The Pats simply don’t run the ball. Despite taking a 24-0 lead, they still only ran the ball 23 times. Brady threw three touchdowns, two of which went to the little white guy. Let’s be honest, how many bad (fantasy) games do you see Brady having this year? Not too many.

Of course, everything always comes down to Mr. Johnson (Chris that is). The bastard ran for another 70+ yard TD. It seems like he does this every week. I know I’m going to date myself here, but the last time I remember a back like that was Eric Dickerson, back in the mid-80’s.

If you want to nitpick something (we always should), we can take a look at that No. 2 RB spot. Bob smartly (in my book) sat Jones and stated Harrison, although Jones actually did a better job (108-98). I thought with Hardnesty out, Harrison would become a feature back, but Cleveland being the punks that they are, decided to split carries with Hillis (nine each).

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Dating back to last year, Bob has won eight of nine games in this league. Better yet, Bob has now scored over 1,400 points in seven straight games. Can I make it better? Yes, I can. By scoring over 1,250 points, Bob has tied Griff for longest streak of 1,250-pt games in a row with 11. Griff did all of his back in one season (2005) though.

No. 2 THE GRIFFTERS (GRIFF) Talk about a statement game. Griff benched his starter Jamaal Charles for Foster and like a hooker on prom night, it paid off. Foster produced the most fantasy points by a running back on opening day.

Foster is no fluke. I’m not saying he’s going to average 240 yards per game, but he’s a solid back in a great offense. This will work. Of course if it does, Griff gets to keep this guy in the 10th round next year. So do any of you want to re-think your vote on for keeping keepers?

Of course, if Griff needs anything else to be excited about, he can just peak at his bench. Not only does he have Charles sitting there, Bradshaw looked good in NY, Santana Moss looks like McNabb’s favorite target and the rookie Mike Williams caught a TD.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This win ends a five-game losing streak to me. Griff improves to 5-12 against the commissioner.

No. 3 MOLLIPOP (MOLLY) One Coomer, two Coomers. Whether you believe Molly actually exists, or if you just believe “Molly” is just Griff in drag, we’re going to have to accept that this could be a Coomer vs. Coomer title game.

Heading into this season, some had to wonder if Miles Austin was a one-hit wonder, a fluke that would fall back to 50 catches and 700 yards. I think he answered. Austin had a stunning 10 catches and 146 yards. While Bob may have the Pats connection, Molly might be better off with the Romo/Austin connection.

Overall, some good things came out of this game. Boldin looked solid for the Ravens, while Mendenhall produced the stats of a No. 1 back. Even Portis produced about 98 yards this week, so he is at least a serviceable two.

You have to love the balls on the old girl for sitting her No. 1 pick, Greene. I can’t imagine too many folks pulling that off. Unlike her marriage to Griff, this decision actually paid off. While Portis produced some, Greene actually scored negative three, thanks to fumbles and dropped balls.

The question is (and it’s a big question, so listen up), did Greene just fumble his way out of a starting job? Greene was basically benched after his fumbling issues and LT did a nice job (11 touches, 78 yards). You still have to believe that long-term, Greene is the better option, but if this becomes a trend, Molly’s elite status is up for some questioning.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Molly’s 1,477 points is the most she’s scored in week one. This is the most points she’s scored in 19 weeks (week 10, 2008).

No. 4 RICE RICE BABY It ended up being the most exciting game of the week, Rob and Rich battled until the final moment of the Chargers/Chiefs game. Every time Gates would give Calderon closer, his Chargers defense would give it right back. In the end, Rob escapes with a 35-point win.

There were some good signs this week for Rob. Cutler produced, so did Reggie Wayne. Thomas looks like a solid No. 2 back, while the Ttitans D was a solid pick up. However…because there is always a however…it’s not all shiny on Rob’s hairless chest.

Sidney Rice was surely missed this week. Crabtree did nothing to fill in, catching two balls. I said the TE spot was a joke and I’m right so far. Not only did Keller do jack and shit this week, he actually killed the Jets when he ran out of balance on 4th down, a foot short of the first-down marker.

These are holes that will need to be addressed if Rob wants to compete with the best in this league.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This is the 4th year in a row Rob has won on opening day.

No. 6 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES (RUCH C) No person changed his lineup as much as Rich did and he did it all from Europe. Overall, stunning moves this week, as Rich sat both his starting QB and his only running back. Obviously they both technically worked out. First, let’s touch on that RB.

Forte looked fresh. That’s some good news. He produced 201 total yards, thanks to an 89-yard reception. Ironically, his opponent had the Bears QB, so he also enjoyed a ton of fantasy points. Just for the record, an 89-yard TD is 266 fantasy points. Stafford though only scored 20 this week, but it was still 28 better than Kolb. So the reality is, the moves were good moves.

Now remember when I said that Roddy White would be a top-three receiver this year? You should. He had 13 catches this week. However, he only produced 111 yards. The Falcons need to open this up a little. Now speaking of receivers…yes, Calvin Johnson had a TD stolen from him. That would have been a 28-yard TD. The stupid rule took it away, costing Rich 114 fantasy points and the win.

Overall, Calderon got some solid stats from his receiving trio. Smith had a TD, while White had 198 fantasy points. However, with Stafford out, does he continue to start Johnson? He now has the option to go two back (McCoy/Forte) and two receivers (either Smith, Johnson or White).

The other big question will be, what to do at the QB spot? Stafford is out and Kolb may be too. Obviously he needs to hit the free agent wire. However, how much does one spend? The QB is important in this league, but it’s early.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This loss ends a four-game winning streak Rich had over Masterson. The last time Calderon lost to Rob was 2005.

No. 6 QUARTER POUNDERS (COLBY) A loss is never fun, but Colby can probably not sweat too much over it. A lot of teams are going to lose to Bob this year. Sure he was in reach…but let’s face it, he really wasn’t.

A theme so far in these Tuesday Thoughts has been team duos (one team have two players on the same team). Bob has the Pats (Brady/Welker), while Molly has Big D (Romo/Austin). Unlike those two, Colby duo doesn’t involve a QB, but a back (Gore) and TE (Davis). Yet, Alex Smith plays an important part to both of their success. This week, Smith was bad, thus Gore only got 17 touches (and no end zone shots). Davis managed to get a good game in, but it helped that they trailed by 21 for most of the game.

When you look at Colby’s 1,280, you can’t be completely unhappy. He would have beaten half this league. However, I have to believe Peyton’s huge day (559) is masking some issues here.

First, let’s look at the second WR spot. I have to ask, do you think Colby dropped T.J. too fast? Shouldn’t he at least have waited to see what team he landed on first? He ended up replacing him with Cotchery, but that was not the answer. Maclin had a decent game with Vick at QB, so maybe it’s Maclin time for the Poudners?

More importantly though is the second RB spot. Here’s the deal. I’m a Cowboys fan and I’ve watched every game the past two years. Barber is a decent back, but Felix Jones is a great back. Yes, I know he struggles to stay healthy. But so what, when he gets hurt, then play Barber. Both had 10 touches Sunday night. Jones had 24 more yards. This will happen every time. Felix should be the No. 1 back. He should get most of the carries (20 per game) with Barber getting 8-10 situational carries. Of course this is Dallas and they won’t do that. Remember this is a team that keeps bringing in Choice who does nothing.

In the end, here’s what Colby has to deal with now. Last year, Colby started 4-0, but he’s going to need to fight to not start 0-4 this year. It’s a brutal first month of the season. He’ll take on Masterson and Calderon next. Both games will be even match ups. In week four, he’ll take on Griff. He should be happy to be 2-2 heading into week five.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Colby’s 1,280 points is the most he’s scored on opening day since his fist season in the league (2004). He’s dropped eight of 11 dating back to last year.

No. 7 GOD’S COCK (ROBIO) And the losing ways continue for the commish. This was actually a brutal sports weekend for me. The Hurricanes lose. The Cowboys lose in a brutal fashion, all three of my fantasy teams lost and in my pool, my team lost. I did manage to pick my Suicide pool correctly. Thank you Titans.

So what’s the freaking deal? Should I panic? No. Peterson and Williams had rough weeks, but this won’t be the norm. The fact is, it was a bad week. Hell, in reality, it was a bad second half. Check out these numbers:

Peterson and Williams had 125 yards in the first half in their two games. In the second half, they produced 38 total yards. Worse yet, the two backs combined for ZERO (yes zero) touches in the 4th quarter. I had 495 points at halftime of the 1PM games. I had 496 up until the second quarter of the 4PM games.

Two other players slacked this week. Steve Smith had only five catches, while Witten had three. I’m not too worried about the Cowboys’ tight end, however Smith’s stats worry me. Nick looked to be Manning’s favorite target. We’ll see if this a one week is a fluke. At least McFadden looked good. I’d kill for him to become a decent back this year. He’d be a great keeper in the 11th round. With Molly looming in week three, next week’s match up against 0-1 Eric is a must win.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: I failed to hit 1,300 points in a game for the 14th time in 15 games. This is the 4th year in a row I have lost in week one.

No. 8 VICK IN A BOX (MATT) Sometimes you just have to be lucky to win. Jeff was never able to rally, thus Matt simply continues his winning ways. Overall, the week wasn’t great (at least for his starters). Matt’s receivers were a big fail this week.

Jackson and Owens had 144 total fantasy points. That’s the bad news. The good news is, his backup receivers blew up. Nicks had three touchdowns and Mark Clayton found a home in St. Louis with 10 catches for 119 yard. The pair combined for 540 points.

You have to believe Matt probably would have won this by more if Grant didn’t get hurt. His last three runs before the injury were for 13, 8 and 18 yards. Matt will have to make some decisions next week. Does he spend some cash on Jackson or save his cash/roster spot and put Forsett in? He obviously can go three-wide.

Speaking of backs, Forsett was the better runner this week (60 yards on 10 touches), compared to Moreno (64 yards and 15 touches), but you can’t ignore the fact that he only got seven freaking carries.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: So big stats continue for Matt. Neatock is riding the league’s longest winning streak (five in a row). Also, by scoring over 1,000 again. He moves into second place all-time, for longest 1,000-pt games streak. He’s now at 22 in a row, two back of his own record.

No. 9 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS (JEFF) Well that had to be disappointing. Down by less than 100 at halftime of the Chargers/Chiefs game, Mathews was getting his touches, so it was only a matter of time when Jeff would pass Matt. However, as the game went on, Mathews simply went away. In fact, in the final 11 minutes of the game, the rookie only got the ball once, as the Chargers elected to go with Sproles.

Overall, only three player managed to break 100, lead by Palmer’s 388. He was the only one to produce over 120. Marshall did manage to catch eight balls, but for only 53 yard (when did he become a possession receiver?).

In the end, fumbles cost Jeff. Both Benson and Mathews coughed it up. The fumbles cost Jeff 90 fantasy points, which are huge when you only lose by 76 points to the defending champs.

Overall, I think these numbers will improve. While the rookie Mathews wasn’t overwhelming he did get 19 carries, which is a good sign.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This is the first time Jeff has failed to break 1,000 in week one. Dating back to last year, Jeff has loss four straight.

No. 10 GATOR NATION (DON) Mr. Vozzola takes home the prize for being the lowest scoring winner in week one. He failed to break 1,000, but thankfully hr was facing Burrier. There were some good signs despite the low numbers; Manning threw the ball a lot in the red zone. However, as a person who watched this game, it could have been so much better. Eli threw about 6-8 balls high and incomplete (two were intercepted).

I also said in the preseason that Jones-Drew and Ronnie Brown could be a solid RB duo. While MJD struggled a bit, Brown ran the ball strong. Still, Ricky Williams actually had more carries (18-13).

Obviously the issue for Don is wide receiver. He sat Ward (who actually had the best week) for Bowe and Harvin. The pair produced nearly nothing. Not Mike Sims-Walker nothing, but nearly nothing.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: This was only the second time ever Don has won a game despite not scoring 1,000. Don improves to 2-22 lifetime when scoring under 1,000 points in a game.

No. 11 TEAM 6 (RICH B) Oh Burrier, right where he always wanted to be…squeezed between two Vozzola’s. The downfall of the once great Rich Burrier continues. Continuing a trend from last year, Michael Turner did nothing (58 points). While LT was the man behind Rich’s success in this league, Turner is quickly becoming the main reason Burrier has fallen. He’s a second-round keeper, who just leaving a big hole in Rich’s lineup.

Of course the big question mark before week one was, which of Rich’s six receivers would step up and be a man? So far, none. Now not all of them were bad. Royal had 180, Aromashodu had 132 (but they were on his bench) Wallace had 120, while Floyd had 90 points. Of course, Rich can swap them next week and what will happen? Their stats will switch.

The fact is, this team is all about Brees. If Burrier wants to win, 260-point games won’t do it. Hell, 300-point games won’t do it. He’s going to need 350-400 point games to earn some W’s.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Dating back to last year, Rich has now lost six straight. This ties him with four others for the 7th longest losing streak in league history.

No. 12 THE SWAMP (Eric) Well this wasn’t a good week. First Beanie was a late scratch. Eric got Ricky in, and despite getting 18 carries, he never sniffed the end zone and only managed 62 yards.

On top of that, the Colts never ran the ball (Addai only got 10 rushes), Daniels caught one ball and Sims-Walker…was he playing? Because he did literally nothing.

So far, this team is not good; not good at all. Yet, Eric shouldn’t just pack it in. We’re all about hope in Robioland Football. Addai didn’t do much because Manning was busy throwing 57 passes, the good news is, Donald Brown is not part of this offense. He got zero carries. This means that Addai will remain the feature back. Also, with Wells out, Hightower stepped in and just proved that he doesn’t belong. He fumbled twice. This just means that when Beanie comes back, the back field is his.

STATS THAT ONLY INTEREST ME: Eric falls to 3-6 on opening day. He’s won only once since 2003. This is the sixth time in 10 years he has failed to score 1,000 in week one.

Week Two

Quarter Pounders 1460 at Rice, Rice Baby 1288 The Griffters 1512 at Mollipop 975 Team 6 1663 at Otis Murray & The Knights 650 God’s Cock 1395 at The Swamp 987 Gator Nation 638 at Vick in Canton 1419 Big Johnsons 1162 at MAN-DATE 1486

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 THE GRIFFTERS (GRIFF) Only three teams have cracked 1,500 points in a game this year and Griff has done it two of the times. I think he’s earned the top spot, don’t you? As we talked about last week, Griff showed some nuggets when he benched Foster/Jackson for Bradshaw/Charles. The move did not payoff, as he sacrificed 164 points with the decision. It just shows you how good this squad is, because he screwed up and it hit him like a fart from a mile away.

Of course he can thank Matt Schaub for his 497 yards of passing (556 fantasy points). Yet, this wasn’t just a one-man effort. This was team effort. Seven starters cracked 120 (all but Ochocinco, who was facing the Ravens). In fact, if you count his entire 15-man roster, 13 of his 15 players scored at least 120 fantasy points. He could roll next week with his entire bench and still win.

No. 2 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES (RICH C) I asked him to prove it and he did. Oddly enough though, the man who was supposed to go three-wide, suddenly has a dynamic duo in the backfield. Forte and McCoy are producing…big time. McCoy and Forte are both top-five backs after two weeks.

On top of that, the Saints D looks better than their O, he can still go three wide if he so chooses (all three had TDs this week) and just for kicks, Gates is not only the No. 1 ranked TE so far, he’d be the 5th best receiver if you threw him into that lot.

Having said all that, this is still a quarterback’s league and after two weeks, his two starting QBs have totaled, yes totaled, 43 fantasy points. Thank God Andy Reid is a stubborn old man and will let Kolb start next week.

No. 3 BIG JOHNSONS (BOB) Hey, no one said Bob was going to go undefeated. Let’s keep one thing in mind, after two weeks, the two “Big” Johnson have yet to put great games together at the same time. Last week, Andre shit the bed, but this week Chris had his worst outing ever (19 fantasy points).

Having said that, let’s not forget that Chris Johnson actually had a 85-yard touchdown called back thanks to a holding call. That’s 228 fantasy points gone. Not only that, two plays later, he fumbled, so that’s another 45 points. That’s a 273-point holding call.

Now Chris Johnson is still the best RB in football, but Bob has to fill up that second slot. He drafted Felix Jones, but he’s been a bust before he even got a chance to start. Harrison got the nod in week one, but he’s done close to nothing in his two games. This week Bob introduced LT to the starting lineup. At the very least, LT brings you a winning attitude. The last time a person had a losing season with Tomlinson on their roster was 2001.

No. 4 VICK IN A BOX (MATT) The Neatock is off to a good start, although he’s caught some breaks. The fact is, neither of his opponents have cracked 1,000 yards. If there is one thing we’ve learned in this league, if you want to beat Matt, you have to score at least 1,000.

Some good things came out of this game. Rodgers rocked and D-Jax rolled. These two alone beat Don (775-638). Also, Moreno looked sharp. Remember, he barely played in the preseason, so he’s just getting his sea legs. Still, Matt needs to find that second back. He traded for Barber, but he was the worst of his bunch. Thomas Jones got 22 carries, while Lynch got 17. While neither dominated, those are both positive signs. The irony is, he only drafted Lynch because he heard the rumors he might be traded to Green Bay. Who knew he actually drafted the Bills number one back? Of course, this is Buffalo, so who knows what they do next week.

No. 5 GOD’S COCK (ROBIO) Fact check time…I scored 1,395 this week, but nearly all of it came from three sources. Rivers, Peterson and the Bengals D combined to run up 1,017. Four players failed to crack 1,000.

Having said that, I am still third in scoring after two weeks. That’s the good news. The bad news? The Darren McFadden era may be beginning in week three, since DeAngelo Williams has done nothing so far.

No. 6 QUARTER POUNDERS Now that was a good win. With just over two minutes left to play in Monday night’s game, the 49ers stuff Pierre Thomas on the goal line. Of course, Colby’s opponent (Rob) had Thomas. That stop meant the Saints would kick a field goal and Thomas would not get 60 points for a TD.

San Francisco would get the ball one last time. Rob was beating Colby by only two points, 1,248-12,46. Rob had Crabtree, Colby had Gore and Davis. The ending wasn’t even close.

Gore and Davis got five combined touches, including a touchdown and a game-tying two-point play. Just like that, Colby went from trailing by two, to winning by 160. Ball game.

Having said all that, Colby still needs a RB. Gore and Manning are great, but the pair won’t average 809 points per week. Brandon Jacobs got the start and produced eight fantasy points. Strangely though, despite knowingly having issues at the number two spot, Colby only has one more back, Fred Taylor (who produced 12 fantasy points this week) on his bench.

No. 7 RICE RICE BABY (ROB M) When I first laid out the rankings, I had Masterson No. 2, but that’s when I thought he had the win. Yep, one defeat can drop you five spots.

The fact is, Rob should have beaten Colby. Hell, he should have beaten a lot of people. He got smart, read the match ups, used his brain and fucked everything up. He sat Jay Cutler against Dallas and stuck in Flacco against the Bengals. That decision cost Rob 435 points. That’s tough to overcome.

No. 8 MOLLIPOP (MOLLY) Earlier I spoke of Griff’s nuggets, but I’ll have to admit, big balls are a Coomer trait. Get this, Molly and Griff were facing each other this week. That we knew. In the pick ‘ems, they both pick themselves to win. Nothing shocking about that. However, these two both gave themselves the six. That’s like having sex with each other and making fun of the other person the while riding the reverse cowboy. Who does that?

I hate to drop a preseason favorite, who was ranked second last week, six spots, but me no likey the games below 1,000. Outside her Dallas connection (Romo/Austin), no one else really bothered to show.

On top of all that, after another poor showing, Shonn Greene is starting to look like a major fantasy bust. He was a first-round pick and he might never start a game for Molly.

No. 9 TEAM 6 (RICH B) Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way now…yes, Rich’s bench scored a shit-load of points. I have no idea if 1,209 points are a record, but if it makes him happy, we’ll call it one. Now let’s move on.

How about that rookie running back? This season, four rookie running backs were expected to produce this year. All were drafted pretty to be solid sleepers. So far, it hasn’t really worked out for others. Let’s take a look.

Mathews (Round 1, Jeff): 120 fantasy points, two fumbles, one sprained ankle Spiller (Round 5, Jeff): 48 fantasy points, eight carries, nine yards, third-string Tate (Round 7, Eric): IR, Out for Year Hardesty (Round 8, Rich C): IR, Out for Year

Burrier of course grabbed Best in the third round. So far, he’s the best rookie back. He has 746 fantasy points, including a 592-pt effort this week. I have a feeling Rich won’t be benching him again any time soon.

No. 10 GATOR NATION (DON) Could the six-year playoff run be in jeopardy? Obviously it’s week two and way too early to ask stupid questions like that, but let’s face it, Don may have one win, what he doesn’t have is a 1,000-pt game.

The fact is, Jones-Drew is not a low-end No. 1 back. He’s supposed to be an elite back. That means a bad game is what he had in week one (98 yards and 174 fantasy points). Elite backs do not have 25-point fantasy games.

You want to know what the crazy part of Don’s 638-pt game is? He actually made smart decisions. He started Manning over Cassel, sat Harvin and still kept Hines Ward on his bench. All three moves paid off, because the three that he benched (Cassel, Harvin, Ward) combined to only score 126 points. The three that he started (Manning, Collie, Bowe) scored 278 points. It could have been so much worse.

No. 11 THE SWAMP (ERIC) As bad as it is looking for Eric right now, if he simply would have started McNabb over Favre, he would have won. McNabb produced 436 points. Brett turned it over four times and finished with –13.

Despite the defeat, I’m still not going to write off The Swamp yet. Good things did happen. McNabb produced, Sims-Walker rediscovered football (205 points), Moss caught a TD and the Colts decided to actually run the ball, which is good, because Addai can still put up some numbers if they just give him the damn ball (182 fantasy points). Eric still has an elite TE (Shiancoe) and the Vikings D can put up some stats. My point…don’t go out and buy your Chris Johnson/The Swamp jersey just yet.

No. 12 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS (JEFF) It’s kind of harsh sticking Jeff behind two Vozzola’s, but like the father/son duo, Jeff also has failed to crack 1,000 this year. So what to make of this bunch? Mathews is starting to scare me a bit. I don’t think he’s going to lose his starting spot, but it’s looking more and more like the Chargers are ready to play roto-RB. It’s also not looking good to have two Bengals (Palmer/Benson) on the same team. When does Big Ben come back? Worse yet, Jeff is struggling to fill that second WR spot.

If Jeff is going to turn it around, he better do it now. His next two are against Don and Eric (that’s six combine games below 1,000). After that, it’s going to get tougher.

QUICK PEAK AHEAD:

(1-1) RICH C VS (1-1) COLBY (1-1) Both teams lost in week one, both rebounded nicely in week two. Both have solid players, but both having a glaring hole. This past week, I said if Calderon wanted to prove something, he needed to beat Bob. The same goes for Colby this week.

(0-2) ERIC VS (2-0) GRIFF Griff should win, but don’t expect a blowout. Eric could really use Wells back and Griff could easily shoot himself in the foot with another lineup change.

(2-0) MATT VS (1-1) RICH B The pair combined to score over 3,000 points this past week, so the winner will take the early lead for what still is the league’s weakest division.

(1-1) MOLLIPOP VS (1-1) ROBIO A little re-match of the 2002 title game. This is probably the most even match of the week. Only 189 points separate the two teams.

(0-2) JEFF VS (1-1) DON It’s simple, both have played two games, neither has cracked 1,000. First one to a grand wins.

(1-1) ROB M VS (1-1) BOB No time for either to wallow in their defeats. Both suffered tough loses in week two, but in this division, there are no weeks off.

Week Three

MAN-DATE 1309 at Quarter Pounders 978 The Swamp 1020 at The Griffters 1155 Vick in Canton 1528 at Team 6 1348 Mollipop 1707 at God’s Cock 1801 Otis Murray & The Knights 1259 at Gator Nation 1496 Rice, Rice Baby 1341 at Big Johnsons 1381

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 THE GRIFFTERS (3-0) All this week proved was that you can’t score 1,500 each week. There is no reason to knock Griff out of the top spot. He did what all great teams do when they have a bad week…he won. He did all that with Charles, Bradshaw and even Fitzgerald on the bench.

No. 2 GOD’S COCKS (2-1) Do I really deserve a jump up to the second spot? I don’t know, but while everyone else is bouncing around and being inconsistent, my team has actually gotten better and better each week. I now am the scoring leader…not bad after a 2-11 season.

While it’s tough to watch the sudden decline in DeAngelo Williams, thank God I grabbed McFadden in the 11th round. He’s having a breakout year, averaging 268 points per game. I still feel like I have some issues at wide receiver. Both Jennings and Smith have done okay, but okay doesn’t win championships. Chris, Jennings had two catches and a TD on Green Bay’s opening drive, but didn’t catch a ball the rest of the game. Explain that one. With the Chargers not trading Jackson, that certainly set me back. Now I’m waiting for Holmes to finish his suspension.

No. 3 VICK IN THE GAME (3-0) Personally, I think Matt can trade too much. He just gets it in his head and once it’s in there, he’s got to pull the trigger. This time however, I think the persistence paid off. It’s only week three and Matt already switched half his lineup up. It took a lot of balls to give up Aaron Rogers, but so far Michael Vick made Matt look really smart…and you and I know both know how hard that is to do.

While not many of us would want three starters from one team, Matt is right that if you’re going to do it, the Eagles are a good team to do it with. With Vick in the starting lineup, DeSean Jackson has scored 700 fantasy points. On top of that, Mark Clayton looks like the real deal. He has scored over 160 in all three games in St. Louis.

No. 4 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES (2-1) It’s going to take some time to figure out if this was a smart trade for Rich. Sure Rodgers is an upgrade at QB…if you’re looking at Derek Anderson. However, Rich might have had a great QB (Orton) sitting on his bench. Sure over the long haul, Orton is no Rodgers, but does Calderon have a full-time fill in for the loss of McCoy?

This week he went with Tolbert. No matter how good he is or isn’t, he’s not a long-term solution since Mathews will be the starter when he’s healthy. Steve Smith was the obvious choice, but that was not a good-looking performance this past Sunday (three balls, 22 yards). Assuming Tolbert goes back to the bench, what will Calderon do at the flex position? Trade Orton? Maybe, but can he get a reliable RB/WR for a QB?

No. 5 BIG JOHNSON’S (2-1) So far, Bob has done just about everything I’ve asked as a favorite. He’s won (two of three), he leads his division, breaking 1,350 in two of his three games. Still I dropped him. Why? First, it has more to do with what others have done and less to Bob’s own failings. Second, where’s the great game? He’s got great players, Brady, Johnson (Chris & Andre), but he still hasn’t cracked 1,500 points.

No. 6 MOLLIPOP (1-2) In this defeat, Molly actually made a solid statement. Four starters scored over 250 points, plus two players on her bench. Her starters produced seven touchdowns, including three by Boldin. Think about it, she only got two catches for 20 yards from her star player (Austin), but still cracked 1,700 points. Still, Portis only had seven carries this week, while Greene only got 10 touches. One of these guys to become a reliable number 2.

No. 7 TEAM 6 (1-2) Burrier is stuck in a classical situation. He’s strong up top (Brees) and at the bottom (Steelers). He just needs to figure out the middle. The talent is there, but so far the coaching decisions have been wrong. Best and Hightower both got the start after combining to score 874 points last week. This week, not so much…they combined for 116 points this week. On his bench, he had Turner and newly acquired Hillis. That combo scored 608 points. Starting either one and Burrier is 2-1.

No. 8 RICE RICE BABY (1-2) Every week has come down to the wire for Masterson. In week one, he had a slime lead heading into Monday night and barely held on by 35. In week two he not only had the lead going into Monday night, he had the lead with less than two minutes to play, but fell to Colby after Colby’s TE scored a game winning TD.

This week, it came down to a tight end again. Rob rallied to within 40 Monday night, but couldn’t get any closer as the Bears settled for a late field goal to win. Of course, if Desmond Clark hadn’t dropped a sure TD in the second quarter, Rob would have won.

Worst yet, for the second straight week a quarterback change can be blamed for this defeat. Last week Rob sat Cutler for Flacco. That decision cost him 435 points and the win. This week, he sat Flacco and went with Cutler. The Bears QB was good (252), but Flacco had 416. The 154 points would have made a difference in the results.

Even worse, Rob could be on the verge of losing his second Rice to injury. Sidney is already out, now Ray has a knee-contusion. The best thing in reality for Rob is to have Rice declared out so he can simply start McGahee and feel good about it.

No. 9 GATOR NATION (2-1) After two stunningly bad weeks, the Gators finally got into a groove. Of course Austin Collie blew up again and is looking like one of the better free agent pick ups this year. One 300-pt game is a fluke, but throw in another 400-point game and it’s not longer a fluke.

Still, I’m waiting for those running backs to breakout. Jones-Drew has not sniffed 200 points in a game, and while Brown had one in week one, he hasn’t cracked 100 since then.

No. 10 QUARTER POUNDERS In fantasy football, there is nothing more frustrating than having to make a decision. Look at some of the decisions this week. – I started McFadden over D. Williams. +142 and the win. – Molly sat the Eagles for the Patriots. –193 and led to her defeat. – Eric leaves Sims-Walker in over Edwards. –166. He lost by 135. – Griff sits Fitzgerald, starts S. Moss. +143. Makes the wrong decision, he loses by eight. – If Burrier starts either of his backs on his bench or Floyd over Royal, he beats Matt. – Jeff picks the wrong Broncos receiver. It doesn’t cost him, but if Don starts Harvin over Collie, Jeff has a win. – We’ve already discussed Rob’s QB decisions.

As for Colby, he throws in Fred Taylor and Hakeem Nicks. He should have gone with Green-Ellis and Maclin. If he did, he wins.

No. 11 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS (0-3) At some point, Jeff needs to learn that you can’t rely on any Broncos’ receivers. One week one receiver gets 10 catches for 150 yards, the next week he gets two catches for 40 yards. This week Jeff started Thomas over Gaffney. Thomas had two catches for 43 yards. Gaffney had 12 catches for 140 yards.

On the bright side of this defeat, Benson looked pretty damn good, scoring twice. In fact, Jeff had a number of good performances including Marshall (374) and Miller (180), but the 49ers simply blew it (two points), reminding us all that defense DOES matter in Robioland.

No. 12 THE SWAMP (0-3) It’s easy to forget because it happened so long ago, but this week was the first time Eric played with one of his starting running backs that he actually drafted. Remember, he drafted Ben Tate who was projected to be the starter in Houston (not Foster).

Anyhow, Beanie Wells came back and considering that he hasn’t really practiced much this pre-season, he looked pretty good this week. He got more carries than Hightower, gaining 75 yards on 14 carries.

LOOKING AHEAD: Divisional play ends and this is where the fun begins. This is where we separate the men from the Molly’s.

Jeff vs. Eric It has to be the game of the week. It’s 0-3 vs. 0-3. Someone has to win, right?

Rich C vs. Matt Aaron Rogers vs. his old team. LeSean McCoy vs. his old team. You want to know who got the better of that three-way trade? This game should give us an early hint.

Rob M vs. Molly Masterson may be without Ray Rice, but Molly will definitely be without Tony Romo and Miles Austin. The loser of this game will fall to 1-3.

Colby vs. Griff This says more about Griff and less about Colby, but this will probably be the widest spread in the CBS Guru.

Bob vs. Don This may be a battle of 2-1 teams, but Bob has a 1,000-point lead in total points over Don.

Rich B vs. Robio It’s hard to say if I’ll beat Burrier since I have no clue who he’ll be starting next week.

Week Four

Quarter Pounders 1420 at The Griffters 1602 Team 6 898 at God’s Cock 1281 Otis Murray & The Knights 1214 at The Swamp 688 Rice, Rice Baby 619 at Mollipop 1086 MAN-DATE 1568 at Vick in Canton 822 Big Johnsons 1311 at Gator Nation 723

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 THE GRIFFTERS (4-0) Everything is coming up Coomer this year, isn’t it? For the third time in four weeks, Griff has broken 1,500 points. He’s taken the weekly high score twice now. The crazy part about Griff’s success is this, he drafted well and has made only one add/drop (this week). However, he’s not just riding one roster. On any given week, he’s rotating in and out multiple players. This week he actually benched Schaub. I get this if he was going up against the Steelers, but it was the freaking Raiders. Instead Griff goes with Sanchez, who does just fine.

Of course to prove that everything is coming up Coomer, Adrian Foster was held out of the first 20 minutes of his game because he missed a practice this week, yet still finished with 456 fantasy points. Griff is now on pace to average 1,500 points per game this year. That would be the second most ever in the regular season.

No. 2 GOD’S COCKS (3-1) Okay, not bad. Without my No. 1 pick and star player, I still managed to produce a solid 1,281 and most importantly a win. Oddly enough, this will only be the second time since 2001 I’ve been 3-1. Overall some good things continue to happen. McFadden still looks great (although he pulled his hamstring), Rivers is lights out and Chris Cooley looks like a solid pick up. Still though, I really thought I was going to avoid the wide receiver issues I had last season, but so far, not so good. Greg Jennings and Steve Smith are simply not getting enough balls thrown their way. Jennings in particular has only 12 catches in four games. The only things masking his issues are his three touchdowns. If he doesn’t score, his two catches for 24 yards ain’t going to do it. Luckily, Holmes is coming off his suspension this week.

No. 3 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES (3-1) In the battle of trading teams, Rich won this one. In fact, he had to take some glee in watching McCoy break his rib (even though he did score 247 points). Still, long-term we have to wait and see if this trade paid off. For the second straight week, Kyle Orton out-produced Aaron Rogers and with Steve Smith hurt in Carolina, Calderon will have to do some homework and figure out whom to start in his flex spot. He has a horde of backup running backs. Each has shown the ability to put up points from time to time.

No. 4 BIG JOHNSON’S (3-1) Here’s a stat line I never thought I’d see. Chris Johnson: 39 fantasy points, L. Tomlinson: 386 fantasy points. While some might worry about Johnson’s struggles (19 two weeks ago, 39 this week), I wouldn’t. Remember, he had some issues last year early on.

Of course what I want to talk about is Bob’s knack for free agency. No player has picked up better players than Mr. Castrone the past two weeks. First, he grabbed Brandon Llyod who caught another 11 balls this week. He also grabbed Torain in Washington, who is now getting more carries than Portis.

No. 5 MOLLIPOP (2-2) Molly’s games have been all over the map this year. She’s score over 1,700, but also failed to hit 1,000 once. Her opponents have scored 1,500 and 1,700 in a pair of games, but they have also failed to crack 900 twice. This week wasn’t her finest week, but a win is a win, especially when you’re missing your top two players (Romo and Austin). Of course, there remain some concerns. As Greene is now backing up Tomlinson, it looks like Portis is now backing up Torain. This week both played fine (Portis had 81 yard on 13 carries, while Greene got 117 yards on 22 touches in a blowout). Still, you’re asking a lot if you don’t have a starter in your lineup.

No. 6 VICK IN THE GAME (3-1) And just like that, the streak is over. Matt failed to score 1,000 this week and just like his last streak, this one ends at 24 again. While that should bum him out, he’s got other issues right now. Both Vick and McCoy have rib issues. Vick left Sunday’s game with rib and shoulder issues, although there were no broken bones. McCoy actually finished the game, but he does have a broken rib. On top of that, Matt still has Moreno on IR already. The good news is this, Matt started 3-0 and he’s clearly in the weakest division. He has room to fail. He only really has to find three more wins to get into the post-season.

No. 7 QUARTER POUNDERS (1-3) I don’t typically move a team up three spots after a loss, but let’s face it, except for one game, Colby is scoring points…he’s just not winning. He’s scored over 1,280 twice and lost. Sure it’s not like he’s scoring 1,500 and losing, but in two of the weeks he lost (week one and week four against Bob and Griff respectively), he would have beaten 17 other teams, including six teams that won that week.

The good news this week is that both Forsett and Green-Ellis are slowly starting to look like a decent No. 2 backs. While you can never really trust the Patriots, in four weeks in Seattle, Forsett has carry-totals have gone up (7, 8, 17 and 19). The only thing holding him back is his failure to score any touchdowns.

No. 8 TEAM 6 (1-3) On CBS, they have this thing called “Coaching Rating.” It basically tells you how good each person is at correctly having his or her best lineup each week. Now currently I’m first, but that doesn’t really mean much. Maybe my bench sucks and there are no choices to make. After this week, Burrier will probably find himself last in coaching rating. Sure he likes to brag about how his bench scores so much, which is fine if you’re winning. Twice now, Rich’s starters have failed to crack 900. The only reason why his bench doesn’t outscore his starters is because he doesn’t have a backup quarterback. This week again, his best back Hillis (222) was on his bench and so was his best receiver Royal (270). He makes the right coaching decisions, he wins.

No. 9 RICE RICE BABY (1-3) Can one player kill a week? It appears so. Jay Cutler had one of those awful weeks. I have no idea if it is a record, but it sure feels like one. Mr. Cutler threw for 45 yards, turned it over twice and was sacked nine times, before getting knocked out of the game. It cost Rob 144 points. It’s now been four weeks and Rob simply can’t get his QB situation settled. He has now guessed wrong all four weeks. At the very least, this decision won’t effect the outcome. Even with Flacco in, he’d still lost.

Of course we can’t move on to the next week without talking about Ray Rice? With the exception of Shonn Greene, has any other player been more disappointing? He has failed to rush for 100 yards this year and hasn’t broken 200 fantasy points. Now he’s hurt and coming off his worst performance (eight carries for 20 yards). If he can’t get going, Masterson could be in trouble.

No. 10 GATOR NATION (2-2) In what had to be the strangest lineup change of the week, Don was in need of a defense (Cowboys on a bye), so he picked up the Raiders going against the No. 1 rated offense in the league? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that was a bust. The Raiders were shredded for 31 points and 441 yards. They recorded zero sacks and zero turnovers.

On top of that decision, it’s a mix bag of something at the running back spot. Jones-Drew finally had his breakout game, scoring twice and producing 308 fantasy points. Ronnie Brown though is starting to be a concern. Scoring 100 fantasy points is becoming a challenge. I thought Brown would bounce back this year. I thought Don would have an underrated running attack. I thought wrong.

No. 11 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS (1-3) At the very least, Jeff can say, “at least I’m not Eric.” No he is not. Overall, Jeff has spent the week kicking himself for cutting Brandon Lloyd. There’s nothing he can do about that now, so he should stay focus on who he has. Obviously it was nice to see Mathews return. He shared the ball a bit much, but at least he scored a TD. Benson remains the issue. He kept him to be a No. 1 back. Forgetting last week’s 242-point total, he’s managed only 281 in his other three games.

Next week, Jeff does get Big Ben back, but that just means he’s going to be wearing Masterson’s shoes. Ask him what it’s like to have to rotate quarterbacks.

No. 12 THE SWAMP (0-4) This week Eric made history. For the first time (at least to my knowledge), a person’s wide receiver duo was shut out…completely. For Sims-Walker, why does Eric keep starting this fool? He’s been shutout twice now. All while Braylon Edwards is raking up 200+ games. The other of course is Randy Moss. Man, what a lame-ass excuse of a football player. There is no reason for a guy with his talent to get shutout.

LOOKING AHEAD:

BIG JOHNSONS VS THE GRIFFTERS It’s the battle of arguable the two best teams. They are a combined 7-1. However, everything is coming up Coomer this year, because Griff comes into this week-five match up fully stocked, while Bob needs to find a quarterback and wide receiver (with Brady and Welker on a bye).

CORDOBA HOUSE VS MOLLIPOP The second match up of two teams locked into the top-five of the Robio Roto Rankings. However, bye weeks again will effect the results. Calderon comes in full strength, while Molly loses her top back (Mendenhall).

GATOR NATION VS GOD’S COCK A true gut test for me. I should be a solid favorite over the Gator’s, especially with Don losing two starters, however, my boys have been known to stumble in these match ups. The fact is, the last time I was 4-1…the Twin Towers were still standing.

QUARTER POUNDERS VS TEAM 6 While neither team is considered the favorite this season, both teams have some solid parts and both teams are probably better than their 1-3 record. However, because the loser will be 1-4, this truly is a must-win for both squads. Both lose some parts to bye-weeks, but only Rich’s Steelers D would be considered a huge loss.

VICK ON A GURNEY VS THE SWAMP Neatock’s squad is battered and bruised, but luckily for him, he gets to face the only remaining winless team. Talk about good timing. Matt doesn’t really have to stress about bye weeks (just his kicker), while Eric has to sit Randy Moss, which actually may be a good thing after this week.

RICE, RICE BABY VS OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS The second of two 1-3 vs 1-3 match ups. Again, I hate to call a week five match up a “must-win” but 1-4 is 1-4 and that’s not a good number. The reality is, this is probably more of a must-win for Masterson. He’s in a much tougher division, so he can’t really afford to lose against the bottom feeders of the league. For the record, only Jeff is effected by the bye-week, losing Brandon Marshall.

Week Five

Big Johnsons 1856 at The Griffters 723 Quarter Pounders 1691 at Team 6 1346 Rice, Rice Baby 960 at Otis Murray & The Knights 1106 MAN-DATE 1398 at Mollipop 1376 Vick in Canton 875 at The Swamp 1368 Gator Nation 1228 at God’s Cock 1323

Tuesday Thoughts

After five weeks, the league is starting to feel top heavy. Only four teams actually have winning records. Those four teams are each 4-1. So how does someone as smart as me decide these rankings? Bob just crushed Griff, so naturally Bob should move ahead, right? But Bob lost to Calderon, who also beat Colby. I lost to Griff, but I’ve scored more points than him. Yet, none of that matters because I don’t really rely on past results to determine these rankings. In my mind, I’m ranking who I think will win the championship. If you’re ranked #1, you’re my current favorite. If you’re 12th, then you’re not winning the title in my book. Let’s get on with this.

No. 1 BIG JOHNSON’S (4-1) I’ve been saying all year long, I can’t wait for this time to finally come together. At least in week five, the Johnson’s did. With his starting quarterback and starting #2 receiver sitting on a bye, Bob had no problem putting up the stats. His replacements (Kolb & Llyod) combine to score 616 points this week. Brandon Lloyd is fast becoming 2010’s breakout star that no one saw coming, even as he was doing it (last year it was Sidney Rice).

Like Rice last year, Lloyd was actually picked up and cut, before finally landing in Bob’s lap. Now Bob’s receiving core is so stack, he actually may have to sit Wes Welker or Andre Johnson. Seriously, how can you keep this kid off the field?

No. 2 THE GRIFFTERS (4-1) While no one was beating Bob this week, Griff’s Texans’ connection really let my brother down. In fact, Schaub and Foster had –7 points at the half against the Giants yesterday. For the game, they finished with 76 points.

At least the damage they did will cost Griff only one game. All-Stud TE Finley went down with an early knee injury. Not only did he produce zero stats, but now he’ll miss 2-3 weeks.

No. 3 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES (4-1) Talk about sweating it. At one point midway through the 4th quarter, Calderon actually trailed Molly (who got a total of 26 points from three of her starters). The Eagles D had just sacked Alex Smith, who proceeded to simply drop the ball. The Eagles ran it back for a TD. Suddenly Molly had a solid lead. With about eight minutes left, Rich needed the 49ers, led by Alex Smith, to either produce roughly 100 yards or score 10 points. The way the 49ers were playing, you’d never expect it to happen, but suddenly Alex Smith turned into Peyton Manning and the 49ers got both the 100+ yards and two touchdowns.

Having said that, you have to wonder why Rich sat Matt Forte for Tolbert, who was not starting in SD. He lost nearly 400 points with that decision. Of course every week that Orton continues to out-produce Rodgers (three weeks and counting), I’m going to have to keep mentioning that trade sending McCoy to Neatock.

No. 4 QUARTER POUNDERS (2-3) If Colby really does win a mug this year, you have to believe he’ll need to let Neatock and Burrier have a sip. Since the beginning of the season, Colby got Nicks and Owens from Matt and Turner from Burrier. Those three combined to score 848 points this week. The six players he traded away to get those three, none of them played this week for their respected fantasy team.

Now I’m always hesitant to move a 2-3 team ahead of a 4-1 team, especially when that 4-1 team has scored more points on the year, but it is too hard for me to ignore that head-to-head, Colby is 3-1-1 on me.

No. 5 GOD’S COCKS (4-1) Two weeks ago I looked like one of the top three teams. It’s amazing what two weeks will do. McFadden was supposed to be my diamond in the rough, but then that bastard got hurt, allowing Bush to come in and roll for 130+ yards. How will this effect McFadden’s production when he comes back?

On top of that, it is starting to look like I don’t have a No. 1 receiver. Granted any number of my guys could and should be, but none have shown much. Smith finally broke out yesterday, but it was just a flash. Smith had two catches in the first three quarters, then got four more and a TD in the fourth.

No. 6 MOLLIPOP (2-3) Obviously there are plenty of positives to talk about here. Despite having no second back and being forced to sit her best back, Mendenhall, Molly nearly pulled out a win against one of the top teams in the league. She nearly scored 1,400, thanks to the efforts of just four players (Romo, Austin, Lewis and the Eagles D).

Still I can’t talk about this week without simply saying, Molly can only blame herself for this one. The story goes, Molly lost Clinton Portis to injury. Since she failed to grab his backup, Torain two weeks ago, she didn’t have many ptions on her bench.

With Mendenhall sitting, she had no choice but to go three-wide. She could have easily put in her first-round pick Shonn Greene. Sure Greene wasn’t going to produce a ton of stats, but you knew he would get at least 10 carries, if not more as Tomlinson’s backup.

Instead, Molly decided to pick up and start LeGarrette Blout. Yes, word from Tampa was Blout was getting plenty of reps with the first-team. Yes, Cadillac Williams is clearly not the answer. However, this decision backfired. Blout got four carries and produced negative two points. If Molly started Greene, she’d be 3-2 and not 2-3 right now.

No. 7 VICK IN THE GAME (3-2) Suddenly having the word “Gurney” in your team name is not so funny. Three weeks after losing starting back Moreno and one week after losing Michael Vick, Matt now loses Mark Clayton. This one though is going to hurt long-term. You see, the reason why Matt freely traded away Nicks and Owens was because he thought he had a No. 1 receiver in his lineup ready to roll. Now Clayton is out for the year. Just like that, Matt has lost two straight games and after producing 24-straight 1,000-pt games, he’s failed to hit that mark in his last two.

Still luck remains on Matt’s side. His next two opponents are Molly and Masterson. While neither is considered a weak team, both have their own health issues to deal with. Matt should also get Moreno back next week.

No. 8 TEAM 6 (1-4) While Burrier has had a couple of bad loses (he’s failed to hit 900 twice), he’s also had a couple of good loses. This is the second time in three weeks Rich has lost despite scoring 1,300 points. Despite sitting at 1-4 and sitting in last place in his division, Rich is actually the highest scoring team in his division.

Of course while Burrier has slowly try to build a winner in the land of six, the question remains, what’s the matter with Drew Brees? The Saints offense is not the same. Currently Brees is ranked only 8th among all quarterbacks, two spots behind Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy points average.

No. 9 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS (2-3) Don’t look now, but Jeff has won two in a row. Granted there’s been some luck involved. Neither of Jeff’s opponents have scored over 1,000 which helps. Last week he was the second lowest scoring winner. This week he is the lowest scoring winner.

While some good things happened this week, especially Benson’s scoring 296 points, there is no way Jeff can forget that he cut Brandon Lloyd for Mario Manningham. In the past two weeks, Manningham has scored zero fantasy points. Lloyd has scored 588 in that same time. Ouch.

No. 10 RICE RICE BABY (1-4) Don’t’ tell me one injury can’t kill a season. Rob lost Sidney Rice prior to the start of the season. Rice was expected to be a top-10 receiver. So far, Rob has used a combination of Crabtree, Knox and Walter to fill his spot. So far, those three in five games have score just 298 fantasy points (just under 60 points per game).

At 1-4, the playoffs start now for Rob. He’s in a brutal division where he will more than likely not be favorite in any of his final three divisional games. Just before that, he faces Griff, who is certainly a title contender. That means if Masterson splits those last four, to get into the playoffs he has to win his next three games.

Luckily for him, those three teams are all struggling (Eric, Matt and Don). More importantly, Ray Rice finally had a game worth bragging about.

No. 11 GATOR NATION (2-3) Don has lost two-straight. He’s failed to score 1,000 in three of his five games. Yet, five weeks in and he’s still only one game out of first-place in his division. Man, this division is bad. This really could be the first time in league history that the winner of a division could be below .500. Seriously. We’ve had a 7-7 team win a division in 2001, but with a 13-game season, 6-7 could do it for either Matt, Don, Jeff or Burrier.

Enough about the division, let’s talk about Don. Shockingly, this defeat actually ends a seven-game winning streak Don had over me. That of course includes two championship games. The last time Don had lost to me was 2004.

With little to no bench, Don is at the mercy of the bye-week. If he can’t play both Ronnie Brown and Jones-Drew, he lacks the weapons to produce wins. If he wants some good news, how about Eli’s performance? My gut says the Giants offense is starting to figure out that they are a passing team.

No. 12 THE SWAMP (1-4) Congratulations to Eric on that first win. He even scored big, knocking out 1,368 this week. Only four people scored more in week five. Still though, if Beanie Wells can’t start producing more points (21 touches for 40 yards), this will be no reason to talk about any second half turnaround. In fact, Wells has produced back-to-back 38-pt games after a decent 122 in week three.

LOOKING AHEAD:

(4-1) THE GRIFFTERS VS (2-3) GATOR NATION For Don, it is game two of a brutal four-week run. During week’s 4-7, he’ll be facing four of the top five scoring teams in the league. Is there anything the Gator Nation can do to avoid being 2-6 when it’s all said and done?

(1-4) TEAM SIX VS (4-1) BIG JOHNSONS You think Don has it bad, Burrier’s in the process of a brutal five-week run. Starting with me in week four, he faces the top-five scoring teams in this league. All five opponents are also the top-five in the Robio Rankings. I do think Burrier has more talent than Don, so he has a chance to pull off an upset. However, he needs to find a way to win two of his next three, since he’s already 0-2 during that five-week run.

(2-3) OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS VS (4-1) CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES Jeff will lose his Bengals duo next week…a perfect time to start Big Ben for the first time. Of course Calderon should also be making a QB change, with Rodgers suffering a hurt brain.

(2-3) MOLLIPOP VS VICK ON A GURNEY (3-2) Molly gets Mendenhall back, but who is going to fill up that flex position? Does she bring in Greene? Does she go three-wide? Matt has to find a way to make up for the loss of Clayton. Here’s betting he makes yet another trade.

(1-4) THE SWAMP VS RICE RICE BABY (1-4) A battle between two teams that are a combined 2-8…while a handful of 1-4 teams have made the post-season, only one team (Calderon in 2003) has started the season 1-5 and made the playoffs.

(4-1) GOD’S COCK VS (2-3) QUARTER POUNDERS Colby wants to be mentioned along with the favorites. I want to prove that my record and points aren’t a fluke. I actually flip-flopped Colby and I for the 4/5 spot in the rankings before deciding on Colby for four. At least this week we’ll be able to just prove who deserves it on the field.

STARTING THIS WEEK… I’m going to start showing you the “If the playoffs started today” on the CBS site. Here is how it would look. Remember, division winners get the third-seed, although after this season, I’m ready to end that. Also, all tiebreakers are total points.

Week Six

The Griffters 1419 at Gator Nation 1084 Team 6 1105 at Big Johnsons 1367 Otis Murray & The Knights 1675 at MAN-DATE 1134 Mollipop 1145 at Vick in Canton 1243 The Swamp 912 at Rice, Rice Baby 1358 God’s Cock 1032 at Quarter Pounders 907

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 – BIG JOHNSON’S Bob’s 5-1 and leads the league in scoring…there is little debate about who should be on top right now. With the addition of Vernon Davis, Bob is simply stacked now. If he has a weakness, it might be his D. The Packers have been ravaged by injuries. They’ve given up 370 yards or more the past three games.

No. 2 – THE GRIFFTERS With Bradshaw producing his third 200-pt game this month, Griff has four running backs in the top-16 now. It’s a hell of a luxury. Don’s got none in the top sixteen. No team has three backs in the top-16 and only three people (Bob, Robio, Burrier) have two backs in the top sixteen.

Obviously Griff is set at RB, but let’s be honest, there are some cracks starting to show on the Griffters. First, he just lost Finley for the year. While this may appear devastating, I think Griff did the smart thing grabbing Aaron Hernandez, who is looking like a solid sleeper.

At WR though, he has no receiver in the top-16 (Santana Moss is tops at #17). Does he ever consider dishing out one of those backs for a pair of hands? I know what Colby would say.

No. 3 – CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES Despite the loss, I’m actually going to keep Calderon locked into the three spot. The only person I could really consider moving ahead of him is me. However, he would have beaten me this week and he has a 4-1-1 record against me in breakdown.

This past week, Colby challenged Rich and the size of his ball sack. In so many words he accused Rich of being afraid of pulling the trigger on a trade. It’s just never easy to convince a 4-1 team (now 4-2) to do a trade…especially when he’s second in scoring.

Here are the facts. Rich has two solid arms, but you only need one in this league. Rich also has three solid receivers (four if Steve Smith comes back). You can certainly use three, but if Rich doesn’t make a deal (or find one that is acceptable), that’s one option. The other will be to start Fred Jackson.

No. 4 – GOD’S COCK Ironically, my leading scorer for this week was a guy who had only two touches and then had his brain scrambled. DeSean Jackson had one run and one catch. He scored both times and his 270 points was the most points I got from any player.

Still, I gave up two receivers to get him. It was bad enough that Jennings finally had his breakout game (right after I traded him), but I also gave up my depth when I included Holmes. With zero cash to spent for free agents, I have to find some receiving depth soon.

No. 5 – QUARTER POUNDERS I should probably talk about Colby’s loss this week and the fact he failed to hit 1,000, but that’s boring. This was a fluke game. The question of the week was, do you trade Vernon Davis for Wes Welker when you already have Hakeem Nicks and Terrell Owens? I can understand why Colby does the trade…you can’t underestimate depth at wide receiver and while Nicks and Owens have each had some outstanding games so far this year, can you really trust them from game-to-game? Probably not. While Welker lacks the explosiveness he once had, he is without a doubt Brady’s top option.

The question I’ll be asking down the road is, did Colby get enough, without losing too much with Davis gone (He’s currently starting Celek)? Will Welker out-produce Owens and Nicks? So far, he has not. Since his 200-pt game in week one, he’s never broken 125. Nick’s has broken 125 points four times (including two 300+ games). Owens has broken 125 only two times, but it was his last two (484 and 250 points). At TE, head-to-head, Davis has outscored Celek in five of the six weeks.

No. 6 – VICK’S STATUS IN QUESTION I guess Greg Jennings just didn’t like playing for God’s Cocks. Jennings had his breakout game, rolling in 314 fantasy points. His six catches equal the same amount of grabs he had the previous three weeks. When you consider in the fact that DeSean had his clock cleaned and will miss some games, this trade is looking good for Matt.

Of course the rumor is the Eagles are again undecided at their QB spot. Whoops. Every decision Matt made was based on the knowledge that Vick would be back under center when he was healthy. What happens to this team if Kolb gets the starting nod? Can Matt Ryan deliver a title?

No. 7 – MOLLIPOP After getting blown out in week two, Molly has mastered the “close but no cigar” strategy. Her three last defeats were by 94, 22 and 102 points. This week, she can blame it on a play…that never happened. Midway through the second quarter, her QB, Tony Romo, threw a 70-yard TD to her receiver, Miles Austin. However, Austin was called for pass-interference (a questionable one if you ask me). The play never happened. If the play would have stand, Molly would have enjoyed 328 fantasy points…enough to win the game. This is the fourth time Romo has had a TD taken away because of a penalty. Three of those came in games Molly lost.

No. 8 – OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS Jeff Greenblatt has officially rebounded from that 0-3 start and is now at .500. While the other two wins weren’t that impressive (he never broke 1,250 and the wins were against Eric and Masterson), this time Jeff can do a little bragging. He broke 1,500 for the first time (he actually scored 1,675), he took home the weekly high score and he ended Calderon’s four-game winning streak.

All season long Jeff’s been rolling with two Bengals, Palmer and Benson. The pair went on a bye and their replacements, Big Ben and Chris Ivory kicked in 696 points. Big Ben is obviously the more important piece of the puzzle. He looked great and he should be the starter from this point on. Not bad for a 10th round pick.

No. 9 – RICE RICE BABY Was that a season saving win? Too early to tell of course and it was only against Eric, so we’ll keep the champagne on ice for now. I talked about how starting this week Rob would be riding a must-win three-week stretch. In all three games, he would be facing teams he’d more than likely be favored to beat. Next week will be the toughest of the three. It’s Matt (sandwiched between two Vozzola’s).

The question is, will Rob ever get Pierre Thomas back. The guy sprains an ankle and is gone three weeks. Pussy. At least Rob finally made the right decision at quarterback. Of course after another six sacks on Cutler, Rob might be saved from having to make any decisions at the QB spot again.

No. 10 – TEAM 6 1-5. Last year Rich started 1-4, but he’s never been 1-5 before. The playoffs are a very long shot now. This history is easy…only one person, Rich Calderon in 2003 has managed to start a season 1-5 and make it to the playoffs. However, he did that during a 14-game regular season. Burrier has only seven games to salvage 2010. This means he can only afford to lose one more time. His next two are against the #2 and #3 scoring teams in this league. He needs to find away to win at least one.

No. 11 – GATOR NATION Over the last six years, few have been more successful than the senior Vozzola. He’s won two league championships; a scoring title and he once went 9-4, earning the top seed. He has the longest active playoff streak. The last time Don missed the playoffs, Saddam was still running the show in Iraq in 2003. That streak is clearly in jeopardy. However, if you look at just win-loss records, Don’s next five opponents are all below .500, with a combine record of 8-22. Yet he’ll certainly be the underdog in all but maybe one of them (against Eric).

No. 12 – THE SWAMP In fantasy football, you want to have your QB, Defense, TE and kicker to be top-six. You want your running backs and wide receivers to be top-12. If they are, they are what I consider to be “number one” type players at their position.

Based on averages, Eric has only one player (the Bears D) in that category. The Bears are the 5th best defense in football. As for everyone else, McNabb is Eric’s top arm at #13, Addai is his best back at #18, Edwards is the best pair of hands at #17, the tight end (Shiacoe) is #19 and Eric’s kicker (Vinatieri) is #11.

LOOKING AHEAD (WEEK 7):

(5-1) GOD’S COCK VS (5-1) BIG JOHSONS The game of the week features two 5-1 teams. Neither team comes in at full strength. I just lost D-Jax and McFadden’s return is still in doubt. Bob though will lose LT and Andre Johnson to a bye. While I’m unclear at what he’ll do at WR, he can slide in either Felix Jones or Ryan Torain and do just fine.

(5-1) THE GRIFFERS VS (1-5) TEAM 6 With Matt Schaub out on a bye, I suspect this game will be tighter than their record tells us it should be. Of course Burrier has to replace Best and it looks like Floyd will be gone too. Burrier’s been bragging about the numbers his bench has been putting up. Now it’s time to see what some of them can do as starters.

(2-4) MOLLIPOP VS (3-3) OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS After week one, if you would have told me that Jeff would have a better record than Molly, I would have laughed in your face. Yet here we are. Having said that, Molly has scored over 600 more points than Jeff this season.

(1-5) THE SWAMP VS (4-2) CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES Is Rich headed for an upset? No, I was just seeing if you were paying attention. Rich is 6-0 against Eric in head-to-head breakdown. Rich loses Calvin Johnson to a bye, while Eric needs to replace three starters, including his two best players, Addai and Braylon Edwards.

(4-2) VICK’S STATUS VS (2-4) RICE RICE BABY Rob needs this one more, but since this is fantasy football that means nothing. Both take hits with byes, including their starting tight ends (neither has a backup). Rob also loses Reggie Wayne, while Matt loses S. Holmes.

(2-4) GATOR NATION VS (2-4) QUARTER POUNDERS It may be hard to believe but this is the battle for the 8th seed. Both teams need a win. However, I’m going to argue this game is MUCH more important to Colby. Next week, Colby loses five starters to a bye-week. While I hate to assume, let’s assume he can’t overcome that. If he losses this week and next, that’s 2-6 with a tough five weeks to end the season. Colby’s last five opponents are a combined 18-12 and it includes Calderon and Bob.

Oh did I mention that Colby needs to win this week without Peyton Manning?

Week Seven

God’s Cock 1479 at Big Johnsons 1028 The Griffters 1049 at Team 6 1246 Mollipop 881 at Otis Murray & The Knights 1168 The Swamp 1122 at MAN-DATE 1572 Vick in Canton 1466 at Rice, Rice Baby 1205 Gator Nation 1308 at Quarter Pounders 1783

Tuesday Thoughts

WTF? Now what am I suppose to do? Both Bob and Griff (my top two teams) laid an egg on me. Neither is in first place of their division and neither leads their own division in scoring. I don’t have any choice by to drop them both. So who moves up? Calderon is next in line and had a solid week. Colby rocked the week’s high score and I’m the only 6-1 team in the league…decisions, decisions, decisions.

No. 1 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES If there ever was a team that would simply ditch the running back spot and go four-wide, it is this one. Rich just seems to plug in wide receivers (this week Colston and Williams each had 200+). However, I’m going to take a moment here to do some bragging. Hey Rich, do you remember a certain someone who said that Roddy White would be the league’s top receiver this year? A handsome guy who said this during the draft? I’ll give you a hint…it was me. White is currently the number one receiver in fantasy football.

No. 2 GOD’S COCK Did you know that for 24 hours Rich had offered me Colston and Mike Williams (Sea) for DeAngelo Williams. I thought about pulling the trigger on Sunday, but thought it might be wrong to do it right in the middle of Sunday. Damn me and my conscience. Calderon was smart to withdraw the offer.

While it may feel like a fluke that my boys are currently the league’s top seed, I’m still top-three in scoring and I have been for a while now. The even better news came out of Denver where McFadden came back from his hamstring injury and owned the Broncos. Based on average, I have two of the top three backs in football right now.

No. 3 QUARTER POUNDERS This was an impressive week by the Pounders after laying an egg last week. What’s most impressive is the fact he did it with both Peyton Manning and the Jets D sitting on the sidelines this week. Should I continue to impress you? Unlike some big weeks where one player goes off for like 500 points, Colby did his damage as a team. Six players broke 200+ this week, while three broke 300.

Now it’s hard to be critical about a man who just got about 900 points from three players he traded for, but I can’t move on until I at least mention the trade last week. Colby gave up Vernon Davis (a top-3 TE) for wide receiver depth. This week, Welker sat on Colby’s bench and did nothing (42 points), while Owens and Nicks produced over 500 points. Davis meanwhile had 200 points for Bob.

No. 4 BIG JOHNSONS Okay Bob, I’m a bit tired of waiting for this team to impress me on a consistent basis. Yes, he’s scored over 1,300 five times, including one 1,800+ game, but with this kind of talent, with the fantastic free agent pick ups and trades, this team should be averaging 1,500 per week. Period. Bob should be rolling through this league, but instead he just keeps pretending to be just a “good” team.

No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS Last week I talked about very tiny cracks starting to show on Griff’s squad…nothing too stunning, but just something to keep an eye on. I saw it again this week. I’m not really even basing it just on this week’s loss. Griff was minus Schaub and was missing the league’s top rusher, Foster. However, for the third time in five weeks, the Griffers have failed to top 1,200 points. That’s good enough to beat a Vozzola, but not the rest of the league.

No. 6 VICK’S ON A BENCH There was lot’s of good news coming out of Neatock’s neck of the woods. Where to start? First, Ryan continued to do a solid job filling in as a starting QB. He put up his biggest total during his three-week run for the Vick’s. Speaking of Vick, the Eagles getting crushed by the Titans actually may have helped Matt’s fantasy season. Kolb did not look great, thus Michael Vick is inserted back into the starting lineup in two weeks after his bye.

On top of all that good news, Matt also go Moreno back, who had a solid outing (266), while Jennings had a second straight solid game. And finally, who needs Dallas Clark when you can have Todd Heap’s 232 fantasy points.

At 5-2 in a division with two 2-5 teams, Matt is having the best title defense season since Don in 2007, but this team is actually looking like a team that could win a playoff game or two…something that hasn’t happened since 2001.

No. 7 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS It has been a crazy four-week run, hasn’t it? After that 0-3 start to the season, Jeff has now rolled to four-straight wins and now holds the 6th seed in the playoffs. However, he’s just about wrapped up the award for league’s “luckiest” team in 2010. Forgetting last week’s weekly high score, Jeff has won the other three games without scoring 1,250 points. His opponents have never come close to 1,250 (Calderon scored 1,134 last week). Three of his opponents have failed to score 1,000. Two of those opponents were last in scoring that week.

No. 8 TEAM 6 Burrier snaps a four-game losing streak and just like that, the playoffs aren’t that far off. Like I said Sunday night, he’s actually tied in wins with Molly who has the 8th seed.

The bad news of course had to be Brees’ performance. Last year’s All-Robio quarterback threw four interceptions. Thankfully he threw 56 passes, so he still out-scored Griff’s quarterback, but you just have to figure, if Griff had his Texans connection in, Rich would be 1-6 right now.

No. 8 MOLLIPOP Of course I probably have to start off by talking about Britt’s record breaking performance. No, it wasn’t the greatest game ever…Jimmy Smith of the Jaguars once scored 710 points, but Britt’s 616 points is certainly the most points scored on the bench. Of course, unless Britt can play quarterback, she’s going to be in trouble.

Quietly, the Pop’s are really starting to fall apart. First, Molly had to bench her first-rd pick, Greene, when she quickly realized he was the main man in Jersey. His replacement (Portis) looked okay at first, but then slowed down, was benched and is now hurt. However, neither of those things compare to the damage that is done by Romo’s injury. Word is, he could be gone for the year (at least a fantasy year). Now one can always find a QB. There are some good ones on the waiver, she already has Henne and she can always trade. The problem is, Austin’s numbers are going to take a huge hit. He was an elite receiver, but now he’ll be lucky to remain a No. 1 guy.

No. 10 RICE RICE BABY Sometimes you just have to feel sorry for Rob. The man can’t catch a break. Injuries to Sidney Rice and Pierre Thomas are really starting to add up. First, Rob can’t get any consistency at the WR spot. This is the 6th time in seven weeks a WR has failed to break 100 fantasy points.

On top of that, Pierre Thomas had what was considered a minor injury. He would miss a week, maybe two and be back in the swing of things. He’s been out four weeks now and Rob has had nothing to fill the gap because his best backup (Donald Brown) is also hurt.

No. 11 GATOR NATION Don actually had a decent week. It was his second highest point total, with three players breaking 250+ and Eli producing 379 fantasy points. It probably would have helped if he actually played a kicker who was playing this week, but Don was probably out for a run or something.

The good news is my rankings get easier. The Vozzola’s are officially bottom two in the standings, in scoring and in Robio’s Roto Ranking.

No. 12 THE SWAMP This has to be some kind of record, right? For the sixth time in only seven games, Eric has had at least one player fail to score a single fantasy point. That’s all I really got to say about that.

Considering Eric has made only four add/drops (one that include a kicker and three that included adding and dropping Roy Williams, maybe it’s time to start spending some of that $92 in auction money. You can’t save it for next year.

LOOKING AHEAD:

OTIS MURRAY VS GOD’S COCK Last week I ended Bob’s four-game winning streak. Can I do the same to Jeff? Mr. Greenblatt loses no one, while I have to find a way to replace Steve Smith.

For me, I’m looking for my first 7-1 start ever in Robioland. If I can get to seven wins, that means I am only one more win away from securing 8 W’s in the regular season. I haven’t done that since 2003. For Jeff, 5-3 is huge. With teams like Rob, Eric and Don struggling to not only win, but put up points, the playoff race really is becoming a nine-man competition.

VICK (ON A BYE) VS THE GRIFFTERS It is a battle between 5-2 vs. 5-2…for Matt, this one is going to be tough. He loses four starters this week. He needs to replace his quarterback (as both Vick and Ryan are on byes). He needs to replace his best player (McCoy). He also needs to hit the waiver wire and find another tight end and a new defense.

At 5-2, you never really want to call a week eight game a must-win, but this game is important. The fact is, the league is top heavy right now. For Griff, if he can’t win the division, he’s going to be looking at a much tougher quarterfinals match up against either Calderon, Colby or Bob. For Matt, it’s hard to say. He’s desperately trying to hold off Jeff right now. Life would be better as 3rd seed if he can.

RICE, RICE BABY VS GATOR NATION The battle between two 2-5 teams. First one to 900 wins? If you think Rob has enough problems, he has to now beat Don without Ray Rice (bye-week) and without Know. Worse yet, he loses both Flacco and Cutler. If my numbers are correct, like four teams need to add a QB this week.

For Rob, the time is now. Think about this, his last five opponents (Robio, Griff, Calderon, Colby and Bob) are the top five teams in scoring. Even if he finds away to beat Don this week, he’ll need to at least finish 3-2 against those five just to be in the argument.

Don obviously has an easier route, but with his scoring totals, he needs to probably finish the season 4-2 to get into the playoffs.

CORDOBA HOUSE VS TEAM 6 Burrier looks to get his ass into the post-season, while Calderon looks to hold on to a high seed. Each will have to do it with some important pieces missing. Burrier loses both Maclin and Hillis and he’ll need to find a new TE this week as well. Calderon loses his only good RB in Forte.

For Calderon, this is his tune up for the following week where he might just be playing me for the battle of first place in the league. For Burrier, this one is not quite a must win. Even if he falls to 2-6, he can certainly finish 4-1 against the likes of Eric, Molly, Don, Jeff and Matt.

MOLLIPOP VS QUARTER POUNDERS Molly was already going to need a break or two to beat Colby, but with Romo out, I’m not sure if having half of Colby’s roster on a bye is even going to help. While Molly will have to replace Boldin and (TE) Gonzalez, Colby has some work to do. He loses Turner at the RB spot, along with Nicks, Celek and his kicker.

This is a clear case of two teams going in the complete opposite directions. At 3-4 Colby is still not out of the woods yet, so he will really need to take advantage of the next three weeks. He’ll be facing Molly, Matt and Jeff. None will be pushovers, but he should be the favorite in all three.

THE SWAMP VS BIG JOHNSONS This match up is nearly straight up, as only Eric has to replace the Bears on a bye. Bob actually will be at full-strength in week eight. I think I know who will be my “six” for the Pick ‘Em.

Week Eight

Rice, Rice Baby 749 at Gator Nation 1170 Mollipop 864 at Quarter Pounders 1416 Otis Murray & The Knights 668 at God’s Cock 1482 The Swamp 606 at Big Johnsons 1252 Vick in Canton 1008 at The Griffters 1280 MAN-DATE 1549 at Team 6 1243

Tuesday Thoughts

Is this league getting boring? Probably not, but it sure is getting predictable. The top five teams (in my rankings) all won this week, which means the top five teams are a combined 29-11. The bottom-eight are only 19-38.

How big of a gap is it getting for the top halves vs. the bottom halves? Put it this way…if I win next week, I’ll clinch a playoff birth with four weeks left in the regular season. In fact, if all goes a certain way, we could have five teams clinching a spot by week 10.

No. 1 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES The league leader in points produces the week’s most points. The top spot belongs to him yet again. Calderon is starting to look like a juggernaut at the wide receiver position. Not only has Colston really found his grove, but Calvin Johnson sure seemed happy to have Matt Stafford back. At this moment, Calderon has the number two, three and four wide receivers. Wait am I saying Colston or Steve Smith is the fourth rated receiver? No, don’t be so gay. Right now, Antonio Gate’s 223ppg would make him the fourth best receiver in football. He’s currently averaging 87 more points per game than the next best tight end.

No. 2 GOD’S COCK Go ahead and call me the streak killer. I’m the equivalent of a cock blocker. Right when you get hot, I step in and just like that your four-game winning streak is over. In back-to-back weeks I have ended Bob and Jeff’s 4-game winning streak.

While Rich may be dominating the wide receiver spot, I currently have two of the top three running backs in football. Adrian Peterson and Darren McFadden are 2-3 among all backs, averaging a combine 575.8 points per game.

To show just how much luck has to play in all of this…on draft day, after Peterson with the first pick, my goal was to land Tony Romo in the second and tight end Finley in the fourth. Molly took Romo before I could and Griff grabbed Finley. I had to “settle” on Philip Rivers and Jason Witten. Romo and Finley are out for the rest of the fantasy season, Rivers and Witten are first and fifth at their respective positions.

No. 3 QUARTER POUNDERS With two important pieces sitting on his bench, Colby’s boys still managed to rake up 1,410 points…third best for the week. More importantly, did he solve his tight end problem? For the low price of $6, Colby landed Dallas Clark’s replacement and if I didn’t know any better, he looked like Dallas Clark. After dropping his first pass, Jacob Temme had six catches, 64 yards and a TD. He finished with 176 fantasy points. The third best score for a TE this week. BTW, he did outscore Vernon Davis by 144 points. Of course he also outscored Wes Welker by 134 points.

Yet, with another win, Colby still can’t make up any ground on division leading Calderon and Bob.

No. 4 BIG JOHNSONS Did you know that Tom Brady has had only two 300-point fantasy games this year? Ironically they were both 400+ games. Did you know that LT has only 99 yards in his last two games on 32 carries? You have to wonder, is it Shonn Greene time in NY? Did you know in the four games that Felix Jones has pretty much been given the lead role, he only has 198 yards (103 in one game four weeks ago)? Did you know that Ryan Torain has a hamstring injury? Did you know Andre Johnson is battling a high ankle sprain? Did you know Bob benched Brandon Lloyd and missed out on his 384 points?

Did you know that all that is irrelevant? Bob won. He won easily. He’s 6-2.

No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS All year long I kept wondering, how can the Chiefs not get the ball to Charles more? The man can dance. It took an entire fifth quarter, but he finally did get 22 touches and what did he do? Oh just 238 yards and 424 fantasy points. Is there any doubt that if Thomas Jones wasn’t there, Charles would be the best back in football?

Griff running backs got him 770 points, which made up for the fact that Matt Schaub delivered another clunker. This is the fourth time he’s scored under 160 fantasy points in just eight weeks. However, if you look at his stats you can see the pattern. He has one bad game, then a good game. Look: 80, 556, 153, 282, 38, 393 and 109 this week. This means he’s good for 400 next week, right?

No. 6 VICK’S ON A BENCH Matt decided to have his Broadway Joe Namath moment Monday morning when he guaranteed, yes GUARANTEED that he would win his next two. Now I’m not sure why he didn’t just guarantee to win his next five. If he can win his next two (which are much tougher match ups, he certainly can handle his divisional foes, right?

Basically Matt has guaranteed wins against Colby next week and Bob next week. In breakdown Matt is 3-5 against Bob and 2-6 against Colby. It might be a little far fetched, don’t you think? At least Matt will finally have Vick back, as well as McCoy.

No. 7 TEAM 6 I’m actually going to move Rich up one, despite falling to 2-6. I’m moving him ahead of 4-4 Jeff. Now Burrier had an okay week. He wouldn’t have beaten any of the teams that actually won this week, but he would have gone 5-0 against the other losers, including Jeff. In fact, Burrier nearly doubled up Jeff and he’s 5-3 against Mr. Greenblatt in head-to-head breakdown. On top of all that, Rich has out-scored Jeff by 1,000 points.

For Rich, it’s the same old story every week now. Brees comes up flat, while Rich leaves his best back scoring all his points on the bench. This is the fifth time in eight games, Burrier highest scoring back was on his bench. In the games where he starts his highest scoring back he’s 2-1 on the year. When he doesn’t, he’s 0-5.

No. 8 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS When the Knights decide they want to stink, they really know how to stink up the place. For the second time this season, Jeff failed to crack 700 fantasy points. Jeff may end up in the playoffs, but it will be a short visit.

Benson is clearly not going to step up to number one status. Matthews just can’t seem to break a long run and the Cowboys defense has simply given up. How does this team beat one of the top-five?

No. 9 MOLLIPOP We might have seen some more history this week. Kenny Britt may have had the worst following week in fantasy history. He scored 616 points less than he did last week. In fact, he got hurt late in the first and didn’t play the rest of the game. He was shutout.

Over the next three weeks, Molly takes on Don, Burrier and Eric. Those three are a combined 6-18. If she can’t go at least 2-1, she can kiss those playoffs goodbye.

No. 10 GATOR NATION Five wins. Can a five-win team make the playoffs? It sure looks like this is the year. Right now, Don holds the 8-seed and he’s only 3-5. However, if Don really has his way, maybe the answer is no.

With five weeks to go, nobody has an easier schedule. He only faces one more winning team and that’s just Neatock and he’s not one of the five elites. In fact, Don is done with the elites. He just faced four of them the past four weeks and went 0-4 (he doesn’t face Calderon this season).

The good news this week was the play of Maurice Jones-Drew. He put up 238 against Dallas. Too bad the Jaguars can’t face the Cowboys every week.

No. 11 RICE RICE BABY It seemed Rob actually caught a break. He was forced to play three backups, including two backup running backs. However, thanks to injuries to other players, both Jonathan Stewart and Donald Brown got the start. This was their time to shine…or maybe not.

The pair got 26 touches and only produced 82 yards and no touchdowns. On top of that, the Titans D, one of only two bright spots on this team got ass-raped by the Chargers (456 yards, 33 points).

At 2-6, I’m not willing to call Rob dead yet, but with Bob, Calderon and Colby looming on the schedule, that fat lady is starting to warm up.

No. 12 THE SWAMP And then there was Eric. While teams like Masterson, Molly and Burrier do their best to take last place from Eric, the younger Vozzola simply refuses to give it up. In fact, Jeff did his best to take the week’s low score with 668, but Eric bottomed him out with his own 606. This was the fifth time Eric has failed to crack 1,000. This was the second time he’s failed to crack 700.

After watching five players fail to hit 100 (Lee Evans just made it with 102), I have to start asking, is this the worst team in history? Clearly to get that consideration, Eric is going to need to lose a lot more games. He can’t pull off any last second heroics and pull out a win. His best chance to win will come either next week against Burrier, the following week vs. his dad and then in week 11 against Molly.

On top of that, it helps to keep having 600-point games. Eric’s scoring average is now down to 940ppg. Now in the modern era (which started in 2003), this is clearly the lowest scoring average ever…beating out his Dad’s 2003 effort of 966ppg. However, if he wants the record low, he will need to average 667ppg the rest of the way. That’s a tall order.

LOOKING AHEAD:

(6-2) DENNIS MILLER VS (7-1) GOD’S COCK It’s the clear match up of the week. It’s the top two teams in the league. The two top seeds, the two top scoring teams. The winner owns the road to the top seed. The loser will be in a battle to avoid the 4th seed. Both teams come in stocked. No injury issues, no bye week problems. Lifetime, Rich and I are tied up 5-5. It’s the league’s best wide receivers for the league’s best RB. Who you got?

(5-3) VICK IN A BOX VS (4-4) QUARTER POUNDERS After week eight’s yawn-fest, we actually get two match ups featuring winning teams. Well, technically Colby is just .500, but he certainly is playing like a winning team and has rolled off three-straight wins.

Both teams will be without a running back, although Colby losing Gore is a bigger deal than Matt losing Moreno.

Matt may have guaranteed a victory, but that’s going to be a tough. Eight weeks in and he has no wins over a quality opponent, unless you count 4-4 Jeff as a quality opponent.

(2-6) MOLLIPOP VS (3-5) GATOR NATION While this game may feature two teams with only five wins, this game may be the most important. The fact is, if Molly loses, she’ll fall two games behind Don for the 8th seed. If Don loses, he falls back into a tie. Worse yet, he’ll be back outside looking into the playoffs because of his scoring issues. This will be Don and Molly’s 15th meeting. Currently Molly leads the series, 8-6.

As for byes, only Don loses a player, but sadly for him, it is an important player (Maurice Jones-Drew).

(1-7) THE SWAMP VS (2-6) TEAM 6 It is simple. At 2-6, Burrier cannot afford to lose to 1-7 Eric. If he does, his season is over, especially when you consider the bye-week issues Rich has next week.

This week Rich loses a couple of guys (Thomas, Lewis), but both are replaceable. Eric will have to play without McNabb and Sims-Walker.

(2-6) RICE, RICE BABY VS (6-2) THE GRIFFTERS A loss will just about end it for Masterson. Of course, a loss is not a guarantee. Griff did lose to Burrier two weeks ago, so it’s not like he’s invincible.

For the record, Griff loses Santana Moss, while Rob needs a new defense and he’ll have to sit Crabtree.

(4-4) OTIS MURRAY VS (6-2) BIG JOHNSONS Talk about catching a break. In a normal week, Bob crushes Jeff. However, in week ten, Bob loses Chris Johnson, Ryan Torain, Vernon Davis and his kicker for fun. Now Bob still has a good team because he has a solid bench. How does a Felix Jones/LT backfield sound?

As for Jeff, he’ll need to find a kicker and sit Gaffney.

Week Nine

Rice, Rice Baby 1243 at The Griffters 1402 Mollipop 816 at Gator Nation 1377 Otis Murray & The Knights 819 at Big Johnsons 1191 The Swamp 1017 at Team 6 1474 Vick in Canton 1376 at Quarter Pounders 1632 MAN-DATE 1351 at God’s Cock 1562

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 QUARTER POUNDERS Yep, I moved Colby up to the top spot. I really, really did it. It’s time to take my mid-season predictions and lay it out there. The fact is, there really hasn’t been a better team over the last five weeks. This week he cruised over Neatock with his two 300-pt wide receivers. He did it without Frank Gore, whose replacement (Green-Ellis) tanked with his 10 points. All that did was give Matt false hope for a day and Colby still got the week’s high score.

Of course the talk of the town has to be Tamme. It just amazes me how year in and year out, the Colts just plug guys in and Peyton Manning can turn them into pro bowl players. In two weeks, the newest Colt tight end has 17 catches for 172 yards and two touchdowns…this after not producing a single stat the first seven weeks.

No. 1 CORDOBA HOUSE RENEGADES Sure I dropped him out of number one, but that’s right, I’m keeping Calderon ahead of me, the man that just beat him. It’s probably a weird feeling for a man who often wakes up in a panic in the middle of the night because he feels like I have underestimated his team once again.

However, as I always say, these rankings are about who I think (right now) will be the champion. Sure Rich just lost to me, but two facts need to be pointed out. First, I was missing DeSean Jackson, but Rich was missing Antonio Gates and his new running back Steven Jackson. He also lost Roddy White for a large portion of the game this week.

Second and most importantly, even with this loss, Rich is still a dominating 6-2-1 in head-to-head again me. That means he would have beaten me six times in nine meetings.

No. 2 GOD’S COCK At 8-1, I have plenty I can talk about, but I want to focus on the one player who didn’t sniff my lineup. DeSean Jackson who was wrapping up his third week on IR (which means I couldn’t start him) came back from his concussion and still looked like the number one receiver I traded for. This was important because I gave up a lot to get him. He had seven catches, 109 yards and a TD. Officially his last two games were 270 and 298. Next week he’ll be back in my lineup.

For me, I desperately want this top seed. I have a one-game lead over both Bob and Griff. I am beating both in points, so I have that advantage as well. The fact is, in this post-season I want to avoid facing one of the elites in the first round (Colby, Calderon, Bob and Griff). The 8th seed will probably be the weakest team of the eight, so there’s that. However, if a 7th seed can somehow pull off the upset (it has happened a lot in this league), that would make my post-season trip that much easier.

No. 4 BIG JOHNSONS Let’s just not worry too much about this week. Sure Bob didn’t score a lot (1,191), but he was without three starters, including Chris Johnson, Brandon Lloyd and Vernon Davis.

Still this will be the third-straight game Bob has failed to crack 1,300 and he’s only broken 1,500 once this season. Let’s wait until next week when he gets everybody back and we’ll talk more about him then.

No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS Can we talk about this guy’s amazing depth? He trades away Steven Jackson and he still has a back on his bench who scores 452 points? In fact, Griff only had four bench players score (forget Chad O) and they combined to score 1,162, good enough to beat three teams.

Still, Griff needs to find a way to overtake me for the division. He’s on a collision course against either Bob, Calderon or Colby in the first round. Any of those match ups would be championship-game worthy.

No. 6 VICK’S ON A BENCH Matt guaranteed he wouldn’t lose his next two. One game in…he’s 0-1. I’ll be honest, this one had to sting a little…or a lot. Not only did Colby get 254 points from the tight end that replaced his tight end (Dallas Clark), the worse part war had to be those two receivers that raked up over 600 fantasy points for Colby…Matt freaking gave them to him. Yeah, I know it helped him land Vick and land McCoy eventually, but my man traded away the current number two and four receives to Colby.

No. 7 TEAM 6 Peyton Hillis finally returned to glory this week, after sitting below 200 fantasy points since week four. At this point, I was really starting to question the trading of Michael Turner. Actually, I’m always going to call it a bad trade, but that’s that.

At 3-6, Burrier is still in this thing. He’s one game back of the final playoff spot, he’s only two games behind for the division leader, and he’s first in scoring among all of them. Can this kid rally? The fact is, next week’s game against Molly may be the most important game in Rich’s Robioland career since the 2003 title game. Remember, if he doesn’t make the playoffs, he becomes only the second person in the history of the league to miss the post-season three years in a row. That’s tough to do in a 12-team, eight-playoff spot league.

Of course he’ll be without Drew Brees, so he’s going to need to make the right call on the free agent wire. If he can beat a struggling Molly team, then technically Rich controls his own destiny for a playoff spot…although he’ll need a little help if he wants the division.

No. 8 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS Jeff is only happy when he’s streaking. He opened the season on a two-game losing streak, then won four in a row. Now he’s dropped two-straight. Yet he’s still in second-place in his division, one game behind Matt.

Still, does anyone really see this team turning things around? Do we really believe Benson is going to re-discover his 2009 groove? Do we really think things will start to click for Mathews? Does anyone honestly suspect Jeff will find a second receiver at this point in the season?

No. 8 GATOR NATION Don’t look now, but Don has won two in a row. Now I’m going to be a bit realistic about this. On the season Don against teams with winning records: 0-5. Don against teams with losing records: 4-0. Luckily for him there is only one more game against a team with a winning record (Matt) and there is no guarantee he’ll still be above .500 when Don comes around again.

Most importantly, this is the second time Don has broken 1,300 in his last two. That’s a good scoring total. While players like Manning, Bowe and Harvin continue to put up decent numbers the last month, Ronnie Brown finally had a good game again. He scored only his second rushing touchdown this season and he broke 200 for only the second time. The fact is, Brown is the key to any success Don can have.

No. 9 MOLLIPOP This week, the loss of Tony Romo hurt. Molly’s quarterback and Miles Austin combine to score just 94 fantasy points. It’s now officially trouble time. I picked her to be the best team, now I’m not sure she’ll reach four wins. She’s hasn’t even broken 900 in her last three games.

No. 11 RICE RICE BABY You know all this talk about Eric landing Chris Johnson with the first pick, what about Rob. Assuming he can’t lose enough to pass Eric, what about the second pick? Well, if you’re looking at a RB, the best one on the board will probably be Maurice Jones-Drew. Don can’t keep him anymore and after a slow start, he’s actually been pretty productive. Of course Rob can also grab a solid wide out (Roddy White, Calvin Johnson?), or how about a quarterback? Forget Brady…names like Vick and Rivers will be the top quarterbacks next year.

No. 12 THE SWAMP I was looking over Eric’s roster and I think he might become the first person in league history to simply not keep anyone…not a single player. Think about.

In category one he has Moss (1), Beanie Wells (2), Addai (3), Sims-Walker (4) and Steve Breaston (5). Maybe Breaston if the Cards can get a quarterback.

In category two, he’s got more options…Vikings D (6), Ben Tate (7), Owen Daniels (8), Braylon Edwards (9), Shiancoe (10) and Ricky Williams (10). Who would you keep out of this group?

In the third category, you’re looking at McNabb and Mike Nugent in the 11th and Lee Evans in the 14th. I’m assuming Favre doesn’t come back. I guess Lee isn’t too bad if Fitzgerald is the QB. I think Eric should keep no one. Wipe the slate clean. Erase all those old memories and start fresh.

LOOKING AHEAD:

(8-1) GOD’S COCK VS (2-7) RICE RICE BABY Can a 2-7 team beat an 8-1 team? Sure, why not? Masterson will be at full-strength, except for Pierre Thomas, who should be back from injury, is on a bye. However, not only do I lose Philip Rivers, I also lose Darren McFadden and my only backup running back, Brandon Jackson to a bye. I’ll be going three-wide, but I won’t have Crayton either, so I have to pick someone else.

Rob and I are both pretty competitive guys, so it’s a bit surprising we really haven’t developed a manly fantasy rivalry in football. Maybe it has to do with my 8-4 record against him lifetime. Maybe it has to do with the fact we’ve only met once in the post-season. In the end though, it probably has more to do with the fact that when he’s been good, I haven’t. When he’s been bad, I’ve been good. This year is no different.

(4-5) GATOR NATION VS (1-8) THE SWAMP It’s son vs. father again. One would think this would be a classic annual match up, but it really hasn’t. The problem of course is that Eric hasn’t really been that good over the years. This will be their 16th meeting together, tying Griff and I for most ever. Don has owned his son, winning 10 of 15 so far.

Both teams avoid bye-week issues, although Eric may still be missing Addai. A few weeks ago, I actually thought Eric had the goods to upset Don, but not anymore.

(5-4) QUARTER POUNDERS VS (4-5) OTIS MURRAY This past week, Jeff couldn’t beat Bob with three players taking a week off. How is he going to beat a fully stacked Pounders? This one folks, could get ugly. Jeff loses Ryan Mathews, two receivers and his defense. Since he’s also losing his only backup running back (Ivory), Jeff will probably being going three-wide with Marshall, Gaffney and Nate Washington. Ugly, folks.

(3-6) TEAM 6 VS (2-7) MOLLIPOP These two have only met seven times, but Rich leads the series 5-2. We really need to get these two in a division together one of these years. Anyhow, Rich loses Brees. That we know. It seems only fair since Molly won’t have Romo.

Both teams are currently not invited to the post-season party. The loser will probably guarantee that they won’t ever be invited this year. For Molly, it is a MUST win. For Rich, it’s a “he really should win this” type of game.

(7-2) BIG JOHNSONS VS (5-4) VICK ON A BYE Will Matt go winless against the elites? This is his last shot to pull out a win. Right now Matt leads the all-time series 6-5.

This one should be a solid cock-fight. Both teams have plenty of talent healthy and playing, although I wouldn’t call them full-strength. Bob loses his Packers D, while Matt needs to replace Greg Jennings. Currently neither has a backup on his bench to sub in.

(7-2) THE GRIFFTERS VS (6-3) MAN-DATE This one could get interesting. These two recently did a trade and that trade could effect this game. First, Griff won’t have Colston or his kicker. In fact, Griff will be begging me to allow three running backs (won’t happen). It would be fun to see Griff put in Orton, especially against Calderon, but he has Schaub facing the Jaguars next week, while Orton has a tougher match up against the Chiefs.

Rich takes a big hit with Rodgers on a bye. With Orton off to the Griffters, he has no backup right now (if Stafford is out again). However, Steven Jackson should be ready to roll and Rich will have his best 1-2 running back punch of the season.

Week Ten

God’s Cock 1402 at Rice, Rice Baby 1020 Gator Nation 1100 at The Swamp 668 Quarter Pounders 1195 at Otis Murray & The Knights 899 Team 6 1269 at Mollipop 1283 Big Johnsons 1580 at Vick in Canton 1877 The Griffters 1201 at MAN-DATE 1760

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 MAN-DATE Rich has done a ton of transactions to improve an already good team. However, while I totally respect his ability to work the wire, do I hold the same respect with his trading ability? In five trades, Rich has given up Kevin Kolb, LeSean McCoy, Jason Snelling, Mike Williams (Sea), Davone Bess, Kyle Orton, Marques Colston and Matt Forte.

Think about that, he’s basically given up a starting lineup of Orton, McCoy, Forte, Williams, Colston and Bess.

The end result? From all these trades, he currently has on his team, Aaron Rodgers, DeAngelo Williams, Steven Jackson and Randy Moss.

Did he do good? Did he get better? While Rich is much happier to have Rodgers, Orton has averaged 30ppg more. However, we’ll call this one a wash. He had a backfield of McCoy and Forte. Now he has Steve Jackson and DeAngelo Williams. Obviously Williams is a bust for now. Jackson is a great one, but so was McCoy (he averages 17ppg more than S-Jax). As for Randy Moss…would anyone take him right now over Colston or Mike Williams (Seattle)?

What could have been his lineup if he didn’t make a single trade… Orton, McCoy, Forte, White, Johnson, Gates, Tynes and Cardinals D. That lineup scores 1,764 points…beating his current team, 1,764-1,760.

No. 2 QUARTER POUNDERS Yeah, I’m flip-flopping Colby and Calderon. Sorry, but Calderon just improved to 6-4 against Colby in breakdown. However, since Colby is 6-4 against me, I’ll keep him ahead of me.

Frank Gore scored a TD this weekend. Why is this important? It’s not really, but it gives me an opportunity to talk about something amazing going on. When Gore scored, he extended one amazing streak. A former Miami Hurricanes player has scored one touchdown in 132 straight weeks. Think real hard about that. The last time a former Hurricane player didn’t score a touchdown in the NFL was week 15, 2002.

Also, just to prove it’s not a fluke, this week alone, former Hurricanes Javarris James (Edge’s cousin), Frank Gore, Andre Johnson, Devin Hester, Kellen Winslow and Greg Olsen all scored this week.

No. 3 GOD’S COCK My 9-1 start to the season ties me with David for best start to a season. Also, my 9-game winning streak ties me with three others for second longest winning streak.

Let’s talk about luck, shall we. Luck isn’t just about your opponents not scoring on any given week. In the mid-season report I talked about how I wanted Romo and Finley, but had to settle on Rivers and Witten. I wouldn’t be 9-1 if I landed Romo and Finley.

This past week, because I have no money left to auction, I can’t outbid anyone. I knew finding a QB was going to be tough. I first tried for David Garrard and failed. I then tried to get Vince Young and lost him to Masterson. I then went for Shaun Hill and Molly took him. So I settled for Jon Kitna and he led me to victory.

With Bob’s defeat, I now have a two-game lead over anyone else for the top-seed. This would be my first top seed since 2003.

No. 4 BIG JOHNSON Last week Bob scored nothing and won. This week he scored big and lost. What can I really talk about? Let’s talk wide receivers.

Forget me and Griff for a second…Bob, Colby and Calderon are all having amazing seasons. Each one would own the other two divisions if they were in them. Their dominance will force me to change our playoff-seeding rule next year. Rich and Bob are currently tied, while Colby is one-game back, riding a four-game winning streak. All three face each other one more time (and all should get a win against Masterson). Yet, that’s not the only battle going on.

These three each have the top six wide receivers in the league. Currently Bob has the #1 WR (Lloyd) and #6 (A. Johnson). Calderon has the #2 (White) and #5 (C. Johnson) and Colby has the #3 and #4 guys (Owens and Nicks). Overall, Calderon’s pair leads with 3,951, Bob is second with 3,898 and Colby is third with 3,868.

No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS Let’s look ahead, shall we? Griff now falls two games back of me for the division. Since he’s now about 900 points behind me in total points, he would not only need to make up those two games, he’ll have to make up those points. That’s very unlikely.

With three weeks left, it looks like Griff has fewer decisions to make down the stretch. Obviously he could still use Schuab, but Orton looks too good to bench. With Fitzgerald and Colston, I’m not sure you put in Steve Johnson unless someone gets hurt.

At running back, Foster is a lock, so he’ll have to pick between Bradshaw (A bit more consistent) vs. Charles (more big-game potential). Now if only he could find a tight end.

No. 6 VICK IN A ZONE Now that was a comeback. Down 730 points, Matt rallied to not only beat Bob, but crush him. The 3,457 points just misses out on being a top-20 game in combined scoring. However, we are making it official today. Michael Vick’s 811 fantasy points is the greatest individual game ever in Robioland, crushing Jimmy Smith’s 734 in 2000.

The win gave Matt his first win over an “elite” team. Does that make him an elite? No, it doesn’t. However, it saves the league the embarrassment of having a 5-5 division leader.

No. 7 TEAM 6 A painful loss for Rich. Seriously, he had a eight-pt lead. He had a hot receiver, she had a defense (that would continue to lose points). This one was in the bag. Then McNabb threw an interception and it was returned for a TD. Molly wins.

Of course it’s not over for Rich. In fact, he’s still in a decent spot. Currently he’s sitting in the 9th spot. He’s tied with Molly, but he has a comfortable 900-point lead over her in points. This means she needs to pass him in wins. This will be tougher for her since she still has to face both Griff and I.

Burrier is one game behind Jeff and two games behind Don. He has a very comfortable lead in total points over both, so the fact is Rich actually controls his own destiny. He’ll face both Jeff and Don one more time. If he wants into the playoff party, he just needs to win.

No. 8 GATOR NATION Don’s opponents have really hit a wall. They’ve failed to break 900 in any of those games, which helps explain Don’s three-game winning streak. However, it’s not all luck.

Maurice Jones-Drew has been on a roll. He’s averaged 271ppg in his last three. This after averaging just 145ppg in his first six. He’s now back up to 12th among all backs.

Also, Percy Harvin is now 10th among all wide receivers. He’s averaged about 210 per game in his last four, never producing less than 180 in any game.

No. 9 MOLLIPOP Molly keeps her playoff hopes alive, but it’s still a hope. She does not control her own destiny and she has the toughest path between herself, Burrier, Don and Jeff. Of those four, she is second in points.

The reality is, she can probably beat Eric, so she’ll need to pull off at least one upset over me or Griff. If she does, she’ll finish 5-8. If Don can finish 0-3, she could get in, but she’ll need either Jeff or Rich to finish 1-2 also…possible, but not likely. She can also get in if Burrier finish 0-3. She would need Jeff to finish 1-2. If she can stay ahead of him in points, she would sneak in. Ironically the most challenging part of all this is her going 2-1.

No. 10 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS Technically Jeff is still in the playoffs…shocking, I know. However, I’m not even asking if he can make the playoffs. Can he win another game? He hasn’t sniffed 1,000 the past three weeks. Granted, Jeff was missing three starters this week, but let’s face it. Benson is bombing badly in Cincy. Marshall now has a third string quarterback throwing the ball and Jeff still has no reliable second back.

Currently Jeff is averaging 1,045ppg. That would be the 11th worst scoring season ever. If he remains in the playoffs and keeps that scoring average, he’d be the third lowest scoring playoff team in league history.

No. 11 RICE RICE BABY I often talk about decisions costing teams wins. It happens every week when someone benches a player who blows up or doesn’t insert a player who has the game of the century. That happens all the time. Yet what Masterson did this week is something I’ve personally never seen before.

Like I said before up top, I tried to pick up a handful of quarterbacks and lost out. In those situations though, each person was missing their starting quarterbacks because of bye weeks…everyone except Masterson.

Rob went out and got Vince Young (I put in a bid for him at zero, Rob got him for $1). Of course Rob didn’t need a QB. He had Flacco and he started Flacco. As we already know, I went out and got Kitna. He blew up for 436 points. If I had gotten Young, I would have had to suffer with his 48 fantasy points. The difference? Masterson would have won.

No. 12 THE SWAMP Sure Eric lost again and again failed to break 700. He’s on pace for a record-setting bad year, but I don’t want to talk about that this week. I want to talk about the perfect trade he made this week.

Now in this league, it’s always a weird situation at the end. We don’t allow dump trades, but at the same time, I won’t ever forfeit a trade. This means I put a lot of faith in you guys to respect the integrity of the league. So far, there has never been a controversial-dump trade by any of the current league members. Nice job.

This past week, Eric needed to do something. His team sucks and his keeper pockets are empty. So this week he was able to unload Randy Moss for Matt Forte. Now Forte’s numbers have been going down, but so have Randy Moss’s digits. Eric basically gave up nothing. It’s not like starting Edwards or Sims-Walker is that much worse than Moss. In the end, he lands Forte who can be kept for two more seasons in the fifth round. The Bears should be looking to improve their offensive line next year, so Forte should be good. At the very least, Eric has a No. 2 worthy back. This will allow him to grab a WR/QB in the 2/3 rounds.

Week Eleven

Quarter Pounders 1408 at Big Johnsons 1140 The Griffters 1412 at God’s Cock 1460 Otis Murray & The Knights 1593 at Vick in Canton 1829 Mollipop 1006 at The Swamp 1256 Team 6 1892 at Gator Nation 1115 Rice, Rice Baby 1027 at MAN-DATE 1487

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 MAN-DATE Calderon’s big transaction with Griff prior to the trading deadline was suppose to deliver him a stud back to lead this team to his first title run. However, Steven Jackson isn’t the Jackson getting it done. Instead, it’s Fred Jackson who has suddenly come alive. The Bills RB has been el flamo, producing 683 points the past two weeks.

No. 2 QUARTER POUNDERS Well, Colby traded for Wes Welker because he said he needed wide receiver depth. With Hakeem Nicks out for three weeks, Welker might finally get his shot in the starting lineup for the Pounders. Of course Mario Manningham might be the better option. With Nick’s gone and Smith questionable, Mario may be Eli’s top option now.

No. 3 GOD’S COCK A year after suffering through my worst season (2-11), my turnaround is complete. With my 10th win in 11 weeks, I’ve officially wrapped up the division title. This will be my seventh career division title, but my first since 2006.

While my numbers haven’t been overwhelming, I just continue to be consistently good. I’ve cracked 1,400 in five straight games, but only broke 1,500 once. However, I’m only 397 points out of the scoring lead.

No. 4 VICK IN A BOX No team has been better the last two weeks than Matt. The defending champ has scored back-to-back 1,800-pt games and he’s needed almost all those points, as both his opponents (Bob, Jeff) have nearly cracked 1,600.

I’m always giving Matt a hard time for handing Terrell Owens and Hakeem Nicks to Colb, but right now I have a feeling he’s not missing them. You see I gave him Greg Jennings and Santonio Holmes, who have really come up big since leaving God’s Cock. The pair put up 618 points this week. The guy they were traded for (D-Jax) had just 94 points.

Right now Matt is looking like the best defending champ since myself in 2003.

No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS Despite the defeat, I’m moving Griff ahead of Bob because, since Mr. Castrone crushed him in week five, Griff would have beaten Bob head-to-head in five of the last six weeks.

This had to be a frustrating week for Coomer. Not only did he watch his team blow a 300-pt lead, with both teams having two players left. The worst part had to be that Griff had a record-setting 2,034 points sitting on his bench. That’s right, Griff’s bench is the first bench to break 2,000.

Now granted, he had two quarterbacks, who tend to score more, but he also had 438 points from Steve Johnson, 260 from Santana Moss and 213 from the Chargers defense. Worst yet, he sat Foster, the league’s top fantasy back, again. He missed out on his 305 fantasy points. In fact, Griff has sat Foster four times this season and the Texans’ back has averaged 289 fantasy points when sitting.

No. 6 BIG JOHNSONS Is Bob really only the sixth best team in this league? He’s currently fifth in scoring, he’s lost three of his last five and he’s scored over 1,300 once in his last five.

Over the last five weeks, Bob’s second back (whomever he starts) has come up short. No one has cracked 200 and three times, including Felix Jones this week, has scored 100 fantasy points. Overall, the #2 RB spot has averaged just 119 per game over the last five weeks. If he wants any shot at his fourth division title, Bob needs to take down Calderon next week.

No. 7 TEAM 6 Now that’s a season saving win. Rich Burrier had to break some kind of record this week. He came up eight points shy of 1,900 fantasy points and he did that with two players producing zero points. Yes, zero points. He scored 1,892 with just six players. Ben Watson and Dan Carpenter were shut out this week.

Like I said yesterday, the win propels Rich into the eight spot. It’s the first time all year he’s been in the post-season picture officially.

No. 8 GATOR NATION Tough to win games when your opponent nearly scores 1,900 points, so we’ll chalk this one up to bad luck. However, it’s not like Don produced a score that he can be proud of. He barely hit 1,100, which is only more shameful because Jones-Drew and Dwayne Bowe combined to score 61% of this team’s points this week.

No. 10 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS Well, this should be a fun two weeks. Here’s the deal, while technically Molly, Masterson and Eric are all still in it, the fact is, the final two playoff spots are really coming down to Jeff, Don and Burrier.

Don is in the best spot. He’s up a game, thus is holding the seven spot. Burrier though has crushed both Don and Jeff in total points. If either Don or Jeff wants to stay ahead of Burrier, they’ll have to beat him in the win column. Now Don is beating Jeff in points, but only by 106 points. That’s nothing in this league. If Jeff is looking for an edge, it’s the fact that he’s already faced Matt. You have to assume both Don and Burrier will be underdogs against Neatock.

Now the beauty in all of this is, Don, Jeff and Rich all still get to play each other in the next two weeks.

No. 9 MOLLIPOP Molly had to beat Eric if she wanted any shot at the post-season. That didn’t happen and this baby is almost over. In the end, I wonder if she didn’t make a mistake trading Dez Bryant before the deadline.

Here’s my thinking…Molly has to keep Austin again. He’s sill too good to pass up in the 11th. Of course Molly can keep Bryant in the 8th, but is she really going to keep two Cowboys receivers. On top of that, as good as Bryant can be over the next couple of years, she wouldn’t keep him over Mendenhall, would she? He’s been the one solid player and she can keep him in the 9th again. The fact is, unless she keeps Romo in the 4th, she doesn’t have a great keeper in category one. I almost wonder if she could have unloaded Bryant for a category one keeper.

No. 11 RICE RICE BABY Rob loses and it was the best week ever. With Eric winning, Masterson is in a classic battle for last. With Colby and Bob remaining on his schedule, it is doubtful he can win another game, although Ray Rice is suddenly coming alive. Bad news for Rob.

No. 12 THE SWAMP Damn that Bears defense. That’s all I really got to say.

Week Twelve

Rice, Rice Baby 912 at Quarter Pounders 1451 Mollipop 942 at The Griffters 1713 Otis Murray & The Knights 878 at Team 6 1455 The Swamp 704 at God’s Cock 937 Vick in Canton 1698 at Gator Nation 1401 MAN-DATE 1317 at Big Johnsons 1321

Tuesday Thoughts

No. 1 MAN-DATE Poor Calderon, he had his chance to wrap up the division and he came up four points short. That was the fifth closes game ever in league history. In the end though, I don’t punish teams for four-point loss, not when they score over 1,300. In the end, he can only blame himself. He picked match up over a hot streak. Fred Jackson has been the best fantasy running back the past two weeks, producing 683 points. However, he was going up against a tough Steelers D. The mistake cost him 280 points and the win.

No. 2 QUARTER POUNDERS Colby’s stunning turnaround continued with an easy win over Masterson. He’s gone from 2-4 to a shot at the division title. Now teams starting 2-4 and winning divisions is nothing new. However, he’s doing it in a division that features two other 8-4 teams.

Thanks to a six-game winning streak, there are three 8-4 teams in this division and all have a shot at winning the division. That’s never happened before. As I discussed Sunday, if Colby wins and can hold off his 575-point lead over Bob (assuming Bob wins too), then the division is his. However, that scenario is looking less likely thanks to rash of injuries popping up on the Pounders.

First, Colby lost top-five receiver Hakeem Nicks. While that injury is a tough one, it’s not tragic. He’s only out three weeks. On Sunday night, Colby watched his top-five running back (Gore) go down and now out for the season. To lose a player like Gore one week before the playoffs has to be a crushing blow. Of course this is Colby and the man prepares for moments like these. So far, Welker has filled in nicely for Nicks and now Mr. Hall will be calling upon BenJarvus Green-Ellis. To the surprise of some, BGE has actually been a decent back the last five or so weeks. He’s produced three straight 200+ games and he knocked out a 300+ game five weeks ago. It’s that one 10-pt game in between that worries me. Come playoff time, Colby needs him to be a 200+ guy every, single game.

No 3. VICK IN CANTON I guess we’ll have to finally except it…Matt Neatock has an elite team. In fact, based on Colby’s health issues, I could probably have slapped Matt into the number two spot with little argument. The fact is, numbers don’t lie. Matt has been either first or second the past three weeks. He’s scored over 1,698 points in each of the last three weeks. He’s won all three weeks even though his opponents have averaged over 1,500 points.

More importantly, Matt now has given himself an outside shot at stealing the number two seed. First he would need to beat Burrier (who himself has been hot lately). Then he’ll need Colby to beat Calderon. Matt would also then need to outscore Colby next week by 409 points. That’s not impossible, at least with the way he’s been scoring.

While we spend a lot of time talking about the trades Colby did to better himself, we shouldn’t overlook Matt’s accomplishments. He currently has four players starting and producing for him that he traded for (Vick, McCoy, Jennings and Holmes). He’s been able to overcome an early season, season-ending injury to his top back (Ryan Grant) and a season-ending injury to his top-five TE (D. Clark). Currently, Matt is starting only two players that he actually drafted (Moreno and the Giants D) and Moreno missed some time as well due to injury. No matter the end result, Matt has produced one of the best title defenses in over a decade in this league.

No. 4 GOD’S COCK First, the good news. By beating Eric, I have now won 11-straight games. It’s the longest streak in the modern era and I’m only one win away from tying myself for the longest streak in league history (12). Back in 1999 I ended the season winning 11 straight. I won my opener in 2000, before finally losing in week two.

Of course the bad news is, this team is not looking very good. Health is becoming a huge issue. Adrian Peterson is out for at least a week and I’m now down three wide receivers (Smith, Williams and Jackson). Hopefully at least two can get back at 100% for my playoff run. Worse yet, Darren McFadden is struggling to find holes to run through. He’s rushed the ball 18 times for only 16 yards. My team was all about its QB (Rivers) and the two backs. Rivers is doing his part, but if Peterson is hurt and McFadden is ’09 McFadden, then I don’t foresee this team surviving the first round of the playoffs right now.

No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS After falling to me last week with a 2,000-pt effort from his bench, Mr. Coomer made a decision. He was done with the roto-lineup. He was going to pick one and barring injury, stick with it. So far, the results are pretty. He scored his most points since week one and again reminded us all why The Griffters are one of the elites. With the exception of defense, Griff had the right player in at every position, including Adrian Foster, who is making a strong case for All-Robio Player of the Year. He’s on pace to average over 300 per game. He’d be only the third back to do so since 2004 (Chris Johnson last year and LT in 2004 are the others).

No. 6 BIG JOHNSONS A nice little “Don’t Forget About Me” win for Bob. Unless he breaks out a 1,900-pt game next week, it is doubtful he’ll be able to win the division though. In the end, it doesn’t really matter that much. However, if Bob does beat Rob next week he will continue his record-setting streak of at least nine wins per season to five straight. That is unheard of in fantasy.

While I’m not moving him out of the sixth spot just yet, that has more to do with the fact that no one above him as done enough to warrant a drop. Overall though, Bob should be happy with some of the positive signs. Tom Brady is looking like a stud again. He’s produced two 500-point games in the last three weeks and has moved all the way up to sixth among all quarterbacks. Brandon Lloyd has shown no signs of backing off his breakout season. He’s now the number one wide receiver in fantasy. One could point to Chris Johnson’s awful -4 game. Yes, that was a truly awful performance and it will probably assure him that Johnson will not earn All-Robio this year, but it’s one game. We’ll worry if it continues.

No. 7 TEAM 6 Who is this guy and what did he do with the real Burrier? Actually, I’m just assuming Rich got dumped because he only does well in fantasy when he’s single. Anyhow, you can go ahead and mark it down, Burrier is in the playoffs. The only way he could miss it is if he loses to Matt, Jeff beats Don and Jeff outscores Rich next week by 2,861. Can’t and won’t happen.

The only thing Rich still needs to figure out is what seed he’ll be. If he beats Matt next week, he’s the 7th seed and will face whoever wins the Jersey Division (Calderon, Colby or Bob). If Don loses, same thing. However, if Rich loses and Don wins, then Rich falls to the 8th seed and will face me. I’m not sure if that’s not a better option.

Either way, Burrier will be making history. He would become only the second person ever to start a season 1-5 and make the playoffs. Calderon was the other person to do it, but when he did it way back in 2003, it was a 14-game schedule. Burrier has not only done it in a 13-game schedule, but he actually could get up to the 7th seed.

No. 8 GATOR NATION Without anyone really paying attention, Don Vozzola suddenly has two of the more dangerous players in the league. Both Jones-Drew and Bowe have hit their stride in the second half of the season. MJD has produced five great games in a row and is now a top-seven running back. Bowe had three touchdowns this past Sunday and now leads the NFL in receiving touchdowns. More importantly, he’s moved into the second spot among all receivers. He could potentially be Don’s fourth ‘All-Robio’ player in the last five years.

No. 9 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS For Jeff, the playoffs start now. Here’s the deal. If Jeff wants to get into the post-season, he needs to beat Don this week and he needs to win by 630 points. Possible, but unlikely.

Do you want to know the quickest way to lose a game? Have a starting lineup that features names like Goodson, Hagan and Washington. Actually Mike Goodson had a fine week (scoring 288), but Jeff had two players blanked this week, both playing for the Titans, who were (you guessed it) shutout. At this point, it will take a miracle for Jeff to beat Don next week. He’ll need to win some kind of 900-800 game. Yes, I know he scored almost 1,600 points last week, but ignore that score and Jeff has produced 668, 819, 899 and 878 over the last five weeks.

No. 10 MOLLIOP So what went wrong? This was supposed to be one of the top teams in the league, but here we are. Molly was stacked with top-line keepers, she had an early pick, so what went wrong? Let’s look at this pick-by-pick. Rd 1 – Shonn Greene: Molly passed on Frank Gore for the guy we all thought would be the top guy in NY. He wasn’t. He never played for Molly and is the 35th best back. Rd 2 – Tony Romo: Passed on Philip Rivers to take Dallas QB. At first, it wasn’t a terrible decision. Romo started the season with five straight 300+ games. However, he got hurt and never played after that. Rd 3 – A. Boldin: She passed on Colston and Bowe. Boldin is the 21st best WR, but that may be bloated thanks to a 450-pt game. He’s failed to hit 100 fantasy points five times in 12 games. Rd 4 – Tony Gonzalez: If you’re going to pick a TE early, he better be good and you better be playing him. His days might be numbered. He is only ninth among all tight ends and he’s been benched by Molly on multiple occasions. Rd 5 – Eagles D: Molly’s first good pick. The Eagles D is 5th among all D’s.

No. 11 RICE RICE BABY Sunday’s game really just summed up Masterson’s year. Heading into the season, Rob was expected to have arguable the best wide receiver duo. Things went down hill before a game was played when Sidney Rice went down with a hip injury.

This week, Rice finally came back home, but he and Wayne just put up depressing numbers. The two managed to produce 112 combined points.

No. 12 THE SWAMP One more loss and the top pick is Eric’s. How important is this? Let me again show you. The first two drafts are not on record, but I do know who had the first pick in each of those drafts (I had the first pick in season one, Rick Mullin in season two). Back then it was random draw.

Teams with the top pick are an amazing 122-58 (.678). No team with the first pick has ever finished below .500. Seven of the teams (including me this season) have won their division. The teams are 13-7 in the post-season and three of them have won the champion.

However, only one team has had the first pick and failed to make it to the post-season…guess who? Yep, Eric. In 2002, Lil’ E become the only 7-7 team to miss the playoffs.

Week Thirteen

Quarter Pounders 1090 at MAN-DATE 1597 The Griffters 944 at The Swamp 781 Team 6 1428 at Vick in Canton 2011 God’s Cock 1389 at Mollipop 623 Gator Nation 918 at Otis Murray & The Knights 873 Big Johnsons 1600 at Rice, Rice Baby 1189

Tuesday Thoughts

hese Tuesday Thoughts will be short. I have to start the playoff predictions soon and I don’t want to waste any time. However, if you want to make it easier on the commissioner, set those lineups early, that way I can give proper predictions (yes, you can change them afterwards).

No. 1 VICK IN CANTON Why does Matt get moved up to the top spot? His last four weeks…1,877, 1,829, 1,698 and 2,011. Record setting-ish.

No. 2 MAN-DATE Rich earns his first scoring title and his second career division title. Also, with Aaron Rodgers, Calderon is the first person in league history to have the top quarterback three years running (he had Brees the last two years).

No. 3 GOD’S COCK I’m 12-1, riding a 12-game winning streak, but the reality is, I could wake up tomorrow morning and be the underdog against Burrier.

No. 4 QUARTER POUNDERS You know it’s tight at the top when a win in week 13 would mean the number two seed, but a loss drops you to the sixth spot. It’s a classic match up of Colby vs. Matt in round one. Colby gave Matt Vick. Matt gave Colby Nicks and Owens. Of course Nicks is on IR for at least one more week.

No. 5 THE GRIFFTERS Griff will finish the year with two “All-Robio” running backs. Foster will be first-team, while Charles will be second-team.

No. 6 BIG JOHNSONS Bob is scoring big heading into the post-season, but it can’t be a good thing if Felix Jones is the better running back between him and Chris Johnson. Of course it won’t matter if Tom Brady keeps putting up 500-pt games.

No. 7 TEAM 6 Peyton Hillis is a stud, but Burrier needs to make some tough decisions at the number two spot. Do you go with Best, Bush or that 5’4 white guy?

No. 8 GATOR NATION Dwayne Bowe had moved up to first-team “All-Robio” after an amazing second half, but after getting shutout in week 13, he fell to second team. Sad. Anyhow, Don’s playoff streak continues. This is seven straight years he has made it to the post-season, tying David Hightower for longest in league history.

No. 9 OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS Jeff’s season came down to three streaks. He lost his first three, won his next four, before ending on a six-game slide.

No. 10 MOLLIPOP After crashing the post-season in six of her first seven seasons in Robioland, Molly has missed the post-season the past two years. She’s just 8-19 in that time.

No. 11 RICE RICE BABY Masterson misses the post-season for the fourth time in six seasons. His 2-11 season is his worst. Can you say Maurice Jones-Drew in 2011?

No. 12 THE SWAMP And with the first pick in the 2011 draft, Eric takes…Chris Johnson?

Quarterfinals

Team 6 1192 at God’s Cock 1741 Gator Nation 1114 at MAN-DATE 716 Quarter Pounders 1726 at Vick in Canton 1311 Big Johnsons 1793 at The Griffters 690

Tuesday Thoughts

In today’s Tuesday Thoughts, I’m going to drop the rankings for good in 2010. Instead, I’m going to talk about the four remaining playoff teams of course, but for the eight of you who are out, don’t worry, Robio won’t forget about you. I’m going to look into my crystal ball sack and see what’s in your future. This week I’ll focus on the keepers. Next week I’ll focus on who I suspect will fall to you in the 2011 draft.

FINAL FOUR:

QUARTER POUNDERS Colby is a rare breed in fantasy world. He’s a one-sport, one league guy. Meaning, this is it. This league is all he has. The rest of us are in multiple football leagues and in multiple baseball leagues. If we falter in this league, there is a good chance you can turn to the other leagues. If you fail in all the football leagues, baseball it right around the corner.

Colby does not enjoy that luxury. If the big guy falters in this league, he has a long wait for redemption. The man lives and breathes Robioland Football, so you know his victory over Neatock this weekend was most satisfying.

Of course beating Matt is one thing. For Colby to win his first championship mug, he’s probably going to face the biggest challenge ever. Next up is Bob, fourth in scoring and like Matt, is getting hot at the right moment. If he can take down Castrone, then he potentially will face me, a guy who would enter the title game on a 14-game winning streak. That’s a tall order.

This past week, Colby had a lot to be excited about with the re-birth of Peyton Manning (409 points), the goal line carries by Turner (touchdown runs of 1, 3 & 4) and the Jets defense (held the Fins to 131 total yards of offense), but his best performance probably came from a guy who didn’t have a single stat show up on the live scoring page.

I’m talking about Hakeem Nicks. The Giants WR, who is on IR for the last week, came back and didn’t miss a beat. He caught 7 balls for 96 yards. That would be 178 fantasy points…pretty damn good for a guy coming off an injury.

BIG JOHNSON For once, a preseason favorite is actually living up to the hype. Actually Matt was the preseason favorite last year and he won the whole thing, so maybe I’m pretty good at predicting these things.

How good is this team right now? Why don’t we look at the numbers? QB – Tom Brady: 1st (thanks to Rodgers injury) RB – Chris Johnson: 9th WR – Brandon Lloyd: 1st WR – Andre Johnson: 7th TE – Vernon Davis: 2nd (he’ll finish 1st with Gates shutting it down for good) PK – Josh Scobee: 10th DST: Packers D: 2nd

So after 14 weeks, Bob has two #1’s, a #2 defense and he’s top-10 at every other position except second running back.

What does Bob do there? Clearly Tomlinson can’t be trusted anymore. He’s just not producing. However, Bob had three running backs have good games last week (Jones: 192, Tolbert: 182 and Ryan Torain: 312). Who does Bob go with? Jones has been the best over the last month, but Torain looked good coming off of injury against a bad Bucs run-defense. Of course, if I may, how about a dark horse? Why not go three-wide with Garcon? I bet I just blew your mind right there, didn’t I?

GOD’S COCK This week I learned one valuable lesson…do not underestimate the importance of defense. Against Burrier, it got to the point in the Steelers/Bengals game, where I actually rooted against Cincinnati coming back on the field. It seemed like every time they went on offense, the Steelers’ points went up. Defensive points are supposed to go down.

Meanwhile I’ve been riding the Buccaneers for a while now. At times, they’ve been really bad (42 against the Steelers, -7 against the Saints, 18 against Atlanta). Other times, they’ve been brilliant (266 against Carolina, 226 against Cincinnatti, 227 against Arizona and 326 against the 49ers).

As you can see, it’s all about match ups. In the next two weeks, Tampa Bay faces the Lions and the Seahawks, both at home. Both of these teams have put up a lot of points in one game and nothing in others. Of course I might just be riding a broken donkey as the Bucs have now lost seven defensive starters for the season. What to do? What to do?

GATOR NATION And then there is Don. The man who continues to make a mockery out of head-to-head fantasy football. The man who only wins as the 7th seed.

Prior to this season, Don had actually won seven straight against me. That’s the longest winning streak anyone has ever had over me. That seven-game winning streak also included two championship games.

Now that streak came to end in week five, when I beat Don. However, I only beat him by 95 points (1,323-1,228). Both teams were a full-strength, but that was a long time ago and Don is a much different team…or at least his players are playing at a much higher level.

Back then, MJD was suffering through a rough patch. He only scored 144 points. Against me next week, Jones-Drew may be the best back out of him, Peterson and McFadden.

However, if Don is going to knock me out of the top spot, he’s going to need one important player to comeback….Matt Cassel. The Chiefs head to St. Louis next week, while Eli and the Giants face the Eagles. Now I don’t think the QB decision will matter that much, but Don cannot afford to have Dwayne Bowe lay another egg. In his last two games, he has one catch for four yards. This is a guy who had 32 catchers for 465 yards and seven touchdowns in the three games prior to that. That’s a stunning drop off.

No Bowe, no title game for Don.

LOOKING AHEAD TO 2011:

8th Pick: MAN-DATE Early this week, Calderon called himself the “Best Team NOT to Win a Championship.” He’s probably right, if you add in Robioland Baseball. Hell, you could argue that that’s the case just in Robioland football. The stats certainly add up. He is third all-time in scoring percentage, but zero titles.

Over the last three years Rich has gone 26-16. He’s won two division titles and one scoring title. The problem is, the two seasons where he won nine games he lost in the first-round both times, both times against Don.

Looking ahead, Rich has some talent and he certainly has options. Rich has three first-round picks (Steven Jackson, Roddy White and Ranady Moss). Both White and Jackson would be legit picks at the eight-spot. He also has Calvin Johnson with the 16th pick. He probably has more value there than both Jackson and White. However, despite all the injuries, I still believe one more year of Gates provides the best option. When healthy, Gates puts up #1 receiver-type numbers.

In category two, the keeper comes down to two running back options, LeGarrette Blount in the sixth or Fred Jackson in the 7th. With Spiller sitting behind Jackson, you have to believe Blount will be the higher ranked RB.

In category three, this one is a no-brainer. Calderon picked up Tampa’s rookie Mike Williams. Griff had him, but he has Jamaal Charles, so he had no reason to keep Williams (although he probably could have traded him). Anyhow, Williams has a legit shot to be a solid #2 fantasy receiver, with an outside shot as a low-end number one.

7th Pick: VICK IN CANTON Matt certainly has to be disappointed. He battled huge injuries (Ryan Grant, Dallas Clark), overcame some questionable trades to built a monster squad at the end of the season. The defending champ looked like a machine heading into the post, yet the Pounders came up big in the quarters (Hey, maybe that’s why they’re called the “Quarter” Pounders).

Matt will have the off-season to sip out of his two championship mugs, dwelling on what could have been, but at least the future looks bright next year.

Up top, he’s got two legit keeper options. He can have Moreno in the second round for one more year or Jennings in the third round for two more seasons. It’s a tough call. Both are solid players.

The question Matt will have to ask himself is, if he keeps Moreno, will he be able to draft someone as good as Jennings with the 31st pick. Or if he keeps Jennings in the third, will he find a back as good as Moreno with the 18th pick.

In category two, Matt will find his two Eagles’ options. Michael Vick can be kept for two years in the 8th, but he still has McCoy in the 9th for one more season. Personally this is a no-brainer.

In the final category, he has McCluster in the 11th, Matt Ryan for one year in the 15th, plus Bradford in the 13th I suspect he’ll go Bradford. Because he redshirted him, he has three more years to let him develop under Vick.

6th Pick: THE GRIFFTERS When you eye Griff’s keeper options you kind of just scratch your head (or at least your balls) and wonder how the hell this team didn’t do better?

Heading into 2011, Griff clearly walks in with the best keepers. Not only are they great players, but none of them will cost him any of his top picks. Let’s work our way backwards.

Griff will have Jamaal Charles one more season all the way back in the 15th round. One has to assume he’s going to get more touches next season. Of course, I’m not sure Charles is Griff’s best keeper. He also gets Arian Foster in the 10th round for two more years.

The only debate is whom (is it ‘whom’ or ‘who’ I never know) Griff keeps in the first category. He’s got a solid receiver in Colston in the third, along with Ochocinco (3rd rd) and Fitzgerald (2nd). However, Jermichael Finley will be back with the Packers next season and Griff can have him in the fourth.

This means Griff will walk into 2011 with two starting backs (Foster, Charles) and a top-five TE (Finley), along with his first three picks. Can you say preseason favorite?

5th Pick: Rich Burrier Since losing Tomlinson as a keeper three and a half years ago, Burrier has sort of lived in fantasy purgatory. He hasn’t had a single winning season, he missed the post-season twice and while he made it back to the playoffs this year, he did it as a five-win team.

Of course everything starts with keepers. LT was one of the best keepers in Robioland history. Yet since his departure, Burrier has struggled to find another “franchise” keeper worthy player.

In the 2010 draft, Burrier decided to look ahead while making his picks and went with a youth moment. It looks like it was a good decision.

Up top, Burrier has a curious decision to make. He has one of the best quarterbacks in the league with Drew Brees in the firsr-round, but is the fifth pick too high when you also can keep Mike Wallace in the 4th or Jahvid Best in the 3rd round?

Best looked decent this year, despite battling a turf toe all season long. The Lions offense is getting better and if Best can stay healthy, he can be the feature back. He might be a risk worth taking over Brees.

In category two there won’t be any decision. He’s got to keep the league’s best non-drafted free agent pick up with Peyton Hillis in the sixth round.

In the final category, Rich traded for Jeremy Maclin, so one has to assume he rolls with him for two more years in the 12th round.

4th Pick: OTIS MURRAY & THE KNIGHTS Jeff will be looking to rebound in 2011, but he’ll have to do it without good keepers. In category one, he’s not keeping Mathews in the first and he’s not going to keep Palmer in the third. Brandon Marshall isn’t bad at the 21st spot, but he better get a better quarterback in Miami.

Sadly the best option for Jeff will probably be one more year of Cedric Benson in the 4th round. That probably doesn’t excite Jeff, but you have to figure Benson is still at least a #2 back and won’t last that long in next year’s draft.

In category two, Jeff has a ton of running backs that will be backups next year. He also has Zack Miller in the 9th and Big Ben in the 10th. I don’t think Roethlisberger has done enough to justify a starting spot next year, so Jeff might as well get his starting tight end in the 9th round.

In the third category, I don’t see much. He has a kicker and Kevin Boss in the 14th.

4th Pick: MOLLIPOP In 2010, Molly walked into the season with some of the best keepers, yet she only won four games. I guess it goes to show, keepers aren’t everything.

In category one, I can assure you Molly won’t keep Shonn Greene. She has Tony Romo in the second and Boldin in the third. She also has Tony Gonzalez in the 4th and the Eagles D in the fifth. Lets face it though, this comes down to Romo and Boldin.

Boldin had a solid year in 2010 and he should be better in 2011 after one full year with Flacco, but this is a quarterback’s league and Romo still has a ton of weapons and will be available with the 22nd pick.

In category two, Molly has a ton of young talent. Kenny Britt could breakout in 2011 and is available in the 6th round. Dez Bryant was looking like a star before he went down. He can be kept in the 8th round. However, neither of those receivers are as good as one more year of Mendenhall in the 9th round. He’s a solid #1 back.

In the final category, I see no reason why Molly doesn’t keep Miles Austin one more season, which means she will keep two of the same keepers as this past season.

#2 RICE, RICE BABY Molly may be re-keeping two players, but Masterson might as keep the same team name because I don’t see him changing anything in 2011. Rob has no better player in category one than Ray Rice in the fifth….no one even close.

In the second category, I’m sure Rob would prefer not to go with a receiver (Sidney Rice) who was hurt all season in 2010, but I’m not sure he has a choice unless he goes with Ryan Fitzgerald in the 8th.

In the final category, Crabtree has done pretty much nothing for Rob, but the only other option would be Dustin Keller. However, he hasn’t broken 100 fantasy points in six weeks.

#1 THE SWAMP For a while I felt that Eric should just wipe the slate clean and start fresh in 2011. However, he went off and did a fabulous trade and now I think he’s in a good spot in 2011.

In category one, Eric had nothing until he traded for Matt Forte. While Forte has been a bit inconsistent this season, he’ll be a solid backfield partner with Chris Johnson and it will only cost Eric a fifth-round pick.

In category two, Eric has the Vikings D and Brian Westbrook in the 6th, Ben Tate in the 7th and Shiancoe & Williams in the 10th. However, Braylon Edwards is probably the best option in the 9th round, although I’m not sure he can be relied upon to be a starter.

In the final category, Eric can keep the third best defense (Chicago Bears) in the 12th round.

Semifinals

Gator Nation 1181 at God’s Cock 1705 Quarter Pounders 1015 at Big Johnsons 1163

Tuesday Thoughts

I’m going to spend plenty of time talking about the title game later this week. In this edition of Tuesday’s Thought, I’m going to look deep into the future. Last week I offered up some keeper predictions. This time, I’m going to give you two rounds of a “way too early” mock draft. Seriously am I not the best commissioner? Who else delivers a two-round mock draft a week before we even play the title game from the current season? I should be getting paid for this shit.

Note: I’m putting me 11th and Bob 12th, just because it doesn’t really matter. I’m keeping my first round player and I’m predicting Bob keeps Tom Brady in the second, so it doesn’t really matter at all.

ROUND ONE

No. 1 ERIC – CHRIS JOHNSON, RB The first round has been a disaster for Eric over the years, but not even he can screw this one up.

No. 2 ROB M – MAURICE JONES-DREW, RB There should be at least three big name quarterbacks available, but I’m not sure Rob can pass up MJD. He’s not as sexy as Chris Johnson, but over the last eight weeks, Jones-Drew has produced more fantasy points.

No. 3 MOLLY – LESEAN MCCOY, RB The Coomer household is a traditional household. They like their running backs early and often and they find their quarterbacks later. McCoy will be entering year three in what could be the most dangerous offense in the league in 2011.

No. 4 JEFF – AARON RODGERS, QB When you’re entering a season with less-than-impressive keepers, you’re basically doing what I call a “Colby draft.” Don’t worry about strategy, don’t worry about positions, just grab whoever is going to deliver the most points. Rodgers’ three-years is up and he’s back on the market.

No. 5 RICH B – DREW BREES, QB Burrier should be pretty psyched if the Saints quarterback lands back in his lap.

No. 6 GRIFF – RODDY WHITE, WR Like Molly above, Griff simply doesn’t reach for quarterbacks. He never has and I’m not going to predict that he will until he does it. There are a ton of stud wide receivers available this year, but how many will be around again in the second?

No. 7 MATT – STEVEN JACKSON, RB Here’s the deal. Matt can keep either Vick or McCoy as a category two keeper. Whichever player he doesn’t keep will go in the top-five guaranteed, most likely top-three. If Matt keeps McCoy, then he will draft whatever quarterback falls to him between Brees, Rodgers or Rivers. My guess is Rivers. If he keeps Vick, then he can grab his hometown hero, Steven Jackson, in the first round.

No. 8 RICH C – PHILIP RIVERS, QB Calderon has never been one to take a running back in the first round just because that’s what you’re suppose to do. The man has had the league’s All-Robio quarterback three years running. You know he’s itching to make it four in a row.

No. 9 DON – Michael Turner, RB At this point, the top-elite quarterbacks will be gone (Brady, Romo, Vick will be kept, Rodgers, Brees and Rivers will be drafted). Don will probably keep three wide receivers, so the obvious choice is the next best back.

No. 10 COLBY – FRANK GORE, RB (KEEPER) Looking at the current crop of running backs now available, Colby is going to be real glad he kept Gore.

No. 11 ROBIO – ADRIAN PETERSON (KEEPER) Whether I’m picking 11th or 12th, I’m keeping Peterson, although keeping DeSean Jackson will be tempting,

No. 12 BOB – ANDRE JOHNSON, WR I’m predicting Bob will keep Brady in the second, Brandon Lloyd in the 7th and the Packers D for one more year in the 14th. Clearly the man needs a running back, but what running back can produce the digits Andre Johnson can?

ROUND TWO

No. 13 BOB – TOM BRADY, QB The way Brady has played during the second half of the season, Bob would be insane not to keep him. That’s just too many points to ignore.

No. 14 ROBIO – CALVIN JOHNSON, WR I’m locked in at running back with Peterson in the first and McFadden in the 11th. I’m also leaning towards Vincent Jackson in the 6th over Steve Smith in the 8th. It all depends on where Jackson plays next year. Either way, I’m thinking either quarterback here (Manning, Schaub) or wide receiver. In the end, I’ve always wanted Calvin and now I got him.

No. 15 COLBY – DESEAN JACKSON, WR Like me one spot ahead, Colby has to decide between an elite wide receiver or a quarterback. The man has always tried to be strong at the front (quarterback) and the back (defense) and it’s hard to imagine Colby letting Peyton Manning slip by, but D-Jax may be too much talent to ignore.

No. 16 DON – FRED JACKSON, RB In a year where there is a ton of good wide receivers, it’s really the only thing Don has to keep. Thus the Gator Nation may have to reach a bit for talent at the running back spot. Fred Jackson has been one of the better backs since taking over the starting job in Buffalo.

No. 17 RICH C – GREG JENNINGS, WR I think if Fred Jackson fell to him, Calderon would consider the Buffalo running back, but put Greg Jennings along side Mike Williams (TB) and you’re talking about a dynamic duo at WR.

No. 18 MATT – KNOWSHON MORENO, RB Over the last month when Denver stopped trying to pass for 500 yards per game, Moreno actually put of some solid numbers. The fact is, if Matt doesn’t keep him, Moreno probably doesn’t fall this far.

No. 19 GRIFF – MATT SCHAUB, QB Didn’t I just write that Griff doesn’t reach for quarterbacks? I did and I wasn’t lying, but let’s pause for a moment. With one pick gone, Griff already has a starting lineup of Foster, Charles, White and Finley. He can certainly grab a WR now and get a QB one pick later. However, won’t he have a better chance of finding a solid #2 WR with #1 potential in the next round?

No. 20 RICH B – REGGIE WAYNE, WR Burrier needs wide receivers bad now and he can’t wait any longer. There are still some good options (Wallace, Fitzgerald), but Wayne is the most consistent of the bunch.

No. 21 JEFF – LARRY FITZGERALD, WR His stats have dropped off this year because Arizona has no quarterback. Something tells me they’re going to address that this off-season (McNabb?).

No. 22 MOLLY – TONY ROMO, QB The elite arms have flown off the table. Think about it, by the time Molly picks in the second round, six quarterbacks will be unavailable.

No. 23 ROB M – PEYTON MANNING, QB It may be hard to see Manning fall this far, but it could happen. Three teams will be drafting quarterbacks, while another three will be keeping their starting quarterbacks.

No. 24 ERIC – MIKE WALLACE, WR With Johnson and Matt Forte filling up the backfield, Eric goes WR here or with his next pick (maybe both).

Championship Game

Big Johnsons 1283 at God’s Cock 948

Tuesday Thoughts

Let’s all bow down to our new champion, Bob Castrone. That’s right, the Robioland Championship is headed to LA with Bob’s easy 1,283-948 victory over me.

For the second straight year, the preseason favorite was able to win it all. However, Bob earned his title a bit differently than Matt (who basically rode the same starters to the title). At the beginning of the season, Bob had a ton of talent with Tom Brady, Andre Johnson, the Packers D, and of course Chris Johnson. He did have some question marks (2 RB, 2 WR and TE), but throughout the season Bob was able to upgrade at every concerning spot. He picked up Lloyd, the league’s top WR on the free agent wire. He nabbed Ryan Torain, a mid-season replacement at RB and finally, he traded for Vernon Davis, without losing a starter. In fact, with Andre Johnson hurt for the title game, Bob only started four players that he drafted in the title game.

This championship is the punctuation on an amazing five-year run in Robioland for Mr. Castrone. You could even argue it is the greatest five-year run ever in this league. For five straight seasons, Bob has made the playoffs every year, winning at least nine games in each and every season (never been done before). Over the last five seasons, Bob is 48-27. He’s made it to the semis four times in those five years.

This is his second title. He won his last one in 2003. Congratulations Bob, you’ve earned your second mug.

As for me, for the third time in five years, I’ve made it to the championship game, only to come up empty. Fitting since I went three for three in my first three. Obviously I’m frustrated. After producing back-to-back 1,700-point games, my team was barely able to crack 900. Of course I’m not the first person that has happened to and I won’t be the last. Hopefully next year I can avoid my new tradition of following up a title game defeat with missing the playoffs all together.

On a side note: Calderon was able to rally to win the Pick ’em’s this season. That’s fifty more bucks.