WEEK ONE
Greasy Onion Booty 1534 at The Griffters 1163 The Swamp 921 at Robot Sex 1324 Gator Nation 1207 at Quarter Pounders 1233 John Mayer 1501 at Adam Jones 1034 Backstreet Boyz 1217 at G.I.L.F. 839 Mollipop 639 at Turtleheads 1087
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS #1 JOHN MAYER – Coming out of week one, I’m handing the #1 spot in Robio’s Rankings to Burrier, despite the fact Bob, earned the weekly high score. Why you ask. Because his best player was sitting in his bench, his best QB was sitting on his bench and his second best receiver was sitting on his bench.
#2 GREASY ONION BOOTY – Over achiever or underrated? Too early to tell. How about a little of both. While DeSean Jackson overachieved, I might have underrated Fast Willie. If this team is this good, watch out for a hot start. His three divisional mates finished 7th, 8th and 12th in scoring week one. Don’t get too cocky, the person with the week one high score has won the championship only once…in 2003 (Burrier).
#3 QUARTER POUNDERS – Talk about sweating it out, the Pounders tailed midway through the Vikings/Packers game. They barely cracked 1,200, so why am I putting them so high? Because their three top players all performed below average (Anderson, LT and Housh), yet they still scored decent points and won the game
.#4 BACKSTREET BOYZ – Like the Pounders, the stars failed to show up in week one, but the Boyz still pulled out a week one win. Big Ben only threw 14 passes and Addai got hurt. With Brady out now, does Masterson regret passing on Gore?
#5 ROBOT SEX – Of course Calderon is going to accuse me of not appreciating his team and his win. Give me another win next week and I’ll be a believer. I don’t like how the running backs looked, but one question has to be asked, with Brady out, is Brees the best arm in the league?
#6 ADAM JONES – With Holt’s one catch and Nugent’s bullshit injury, I basically played two players short. Some solid performance got whipped away thanks to a couple of real shoddy ones.
#7 GATOR NATION – The highest scoring loser of the week. I honestly can’t remember the last time a team had a 500+ player and still lost the same. Running back will remain an issue until something happens (either a trade or an injury somewhere)
#8 THE GRIFFTERS – Some bad signs coming out of week one. but maybe just a fluke. Schaub should be better and can Steven Jackson really be a bust? Way too early to tell
#9 G.I.L.F. – A tragic weekend for the GILF. This is what happens when you rely on two Bengals. Don’t sweat it too much, defending champs have always struggled out of the gate. In fact, they are now 2-5 the following years. However, your 839 was the lowest point total ever.
#10 THE SWAMP – So much for Selvin Young’s 2,000 yard season. Can’t win with only six players in the starting lineup. If it makes you feel any better, even if you had in LeDale White and any of your backup receivers, you still would have lost.
#11 YANKEE KILLAZ – It is the curse of Spy Gate. First, the Pats lose the Superbowl and then the following year Brady goes out for the year in the first quarter of week one. this might have been the worst win in league history. Let’s see what Dave does to right this ship.
#12 THE ANOMALY – Ouch. Only two players broke 100 (Kitna and Portis), but all is not lost. Three players on the bench, Cutler, Forte and Cotchery, all had solid weeks and appear to be worth a spot as a starter.
WEEK TWO
The Griffters 1204 at Turtleheads 1741 Robot Sex 974 at Adam Jones 1498 G.I.L.F. 1292 at Quarter Pounders 929 The Swamp 1269 at John Mayer 1370 Backstreet Boyz 1262 at Gator Nation 1384 Greasy Onion Booty 1702 at Mollipop 1633
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS With two weeks gone by, I can finally see how the league is shaping up. Here are my Tuesday Thoughts and Robio’s Rankings.
#1 GREASY ONION BOOTY This posting is in honor of John McCain. I told you Bob would be the best team. I had Willie Parker going in the first round in all my mock drafts. I knew Boldin would bounce back after a rough ’07. Okay, that’s enough. The clear number one after two weeks is suddenly looking like the best team for a long while. While Jacobs is sharing the load, Parker is not. He got 28 of his teams 31 carries Sunday. However, that’s not even why he’s the best team. How about that receiving combo? Jackson is looking like the best rookie wide receiver since Boldin in 2002 and Boldin is looking like 2007 Randy Moss. The beauty part for Bob is that he’s got what’s looking like the best rookie running back so far in Chris Johnson, who should be getting a legit consideration as a starter over Jacobs. The scary part is, Peyton Manning hasn’t even gotten going yet.
#2 JOHN MAYER I hate to drop the number one team from the top spot after a victory, but I had no choice. However, it wasn’t because the Douches didn’t come out to play. The win is again impressive because he had the third best back of the week (Barber) on his bench, a week after having the top scoring back on the bench. There is plenty to be excited about, especially the receivers stepping up and playing. Do you think Colby, Griff, and myself are regretting passing up Burress in the third round for Housh, T. Jones and Holt?
#3 MOLLIPOP Despite being winless after two weeks, I’m handing Molly third on the rankings. Why oh why? First, she would have beaten ten other teams this week. Her 1,633 is the 11th most points scored in a defeat. Welcome to the record books. With Maroney’s struggles, Molly found a solid piece of gold in Matt Forte, who should be a three-year member of Molly World. Did I mention she has the best quarterback in the league right now, despite his lucky ‘no fumble’ on Sunday? Molly’s boys have still not put together a complete game, but they will soon enough.
#4 YANKEE KILLAZ Somehow, some way, he finds a way. Lose Tom Brady, go fuck yourself, I’ll score the week’s high score. Granted, he’s not going to get too many 400-point games from Santana Moss, but he will get solid production from Edwards, Graham, Roy Williams and the Bills defense on a weekly basis. The mystery man of course remains Julius Jones. This week, he was a great start. Morris was out and he was facing a SF D that couldn’t stop my mother from gaining four yards per carry. I still though don’t see him averaging 100 yards and a TD a game.
#5 BACKSTREET BOYZ Now this is where the rankings go a little nuts because I have teams ahead of other teams that beat the teams that are ahead of them, even this week. WTF? I’m giving Rob a slight pass on this week. Both Big Ben and Edwards were stuck playing Sunday night in 40MPH winds, limiting the passing game of both teams. Having said that, Masterson has to have some concerns regarding players not named Marshall. Addai has looked awful, Bush looked like Bush on the road, Vernon Davis looks like a bust and Randy Moss caught two passes, with Cassel only looking his way three times for the entire game. After this past week I have to ask, is it time to give McFadden his shot in the starting lineup?
#6 GATOR NATION Just typical Vozzola consistency. Last week he broke 1,200. This week he made it over 1,300, despite zero points from his third receiver. Still, Don has no second running back worth starting and unlike his title run in 2006, he has yet to find a legit third receiver to fill that void. Fill that hole eventually and he’ll find some success, but until then, enjoy this solid win over a divisional favorite.
#7 QUARTER POUNDERS Remember in the pre-season Colby was worried that LT was going to become the next Shaun Alexander? Of course you don’t, it was a private email between him and I, fuck face! Were those concerns legit? I still don’t think so. LT is off to a slow start, but he’ll break the slump eventually once healthy. However, will Housh break his slump? Right now the Bengals look like the worst team in football. It is one thing to go belly up on the road in Baltimore, but to get fucked in the ass at home, right on your front lawn, while everyone is watching…trust me, that’s not a good thing.
#8 THE GRIFFTERS Talk about unlucky, Griff has faced both the week one high scorer and now the week two high scorer. First, HUGE mistake dropping Kurt Warner. No, I don’t think Kurt’s going to be dropping weekly 500-point games, but to put so much stock in Cassel, wow. Having said that, Griff still has a top-three tight end and a top-five receiver. However, if he is to get this puppy turned around, his backs will need to start producing now.
#9 ADAM JONES Man, two points. I really wanted that 1,500-pt game. It’s been thirteen weeks since I’ve broken 1,500, but I’ll have to settle for 1,498 points. I’ll certainly take the win though. The one thing you can’t do is bet against me when I’m the dog. Last season I was nearly unbeatable as the underdog (although I was nearly winless as the favorite). Despite losing two starters to the Hurricanes bye-week, my boys came through, but because of a lack of bench, my success still rides on the shoulders of Kevin Smith. The good news is, he’s getting almost all the carries. However, because the heartless Lions keep falling behind 21-0, they don’t run the ball at all. In fact, they’ve run the ball a total of 31 times. Smith has 26 of those carries.
#10 G.I.L.F. Remember when we said during the draft, that you don’t draft kickers early? I do. The reason why is because players like Aaron Rodgers are around then. A 10th round back up quarterback maybe, just maybe, might save Matt’s season. However, we’re not going to sugar coat this win for Matty. He got the ‘W” and that’s good, but you’re not going to get 861-points from Rodgers and Peterson each week. This team still has no second running back, his #1 receiver should be a two and his #2 should be on the bench. In the past, Matt has used the power of the trade to salvage a season, but who’s tradable on that bench? Obviously, there are concerns, but if you want to look on the Brightside, a handful of big names; Johnson, Brown, Palmer and Miller are all playing well below what they should be doing and it wouldn’t be too surprising if a couple find their groove.
#11 ROBOT SEX Last week after his week one win, Calderon went fishing for some props, but I don’t judge a team by one week. However, I will follow my own advice and not judge this team solely based on this week’s performance. Rich still has a top-three quarterback, a stud on the rise in Calvin Johnson, Gonzalez on his bench had a breakout game, and one of the league’s best Ds in the Giants. However, if he can’t find at least one good running back, he might be in trouble. In all seriousness, would you want any of his backs; LJ, Lewis or Perry starting for your team? If I can point out one possible savior…how about Slaton?
#12 THE SWAMP Do I really think Eric is the worst team in Robioland? No. Right now, teams 4-12 are all about the same. You could flip any number of these teams around and I doubt I’d hear too much complaining. I have a feeling I’m going to be moving Eric up a few spots next week, simply because it will be the first week he’ll probably play his true lineup. First, McGahee should be back. Second, Steve Smith will be back. Will they turn Eric into a title contender? Nope not yet, but he should be better than he has been.
WEEK THREE
Mollipop 1431 at The Griffters 736 John Mayer 1356 at Robot Sex 1155 Gator Nation 1309 at G.I.L.F. 1264 Adam Jones 843 at The Swamp 1274 Quarter Pounders 1530 at Backstreet Boyz 1285 Turtleheads 974 at Greasy Onion Booty 966
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS #1 JOHN MAYER And just like that, he’s back in the number one spot. Last night I briefly touched on Burrier’s three-headed monster at running back with Gore, Turner and Barber. I compared them to Griff’s 2005 running back trio of Alexander, LJ and Jordan. Now after three weeks, Rich’s boys are doing better than Griff’s backs, but that’s because Larry Johnson wasn’t starting yet. Once Priest went out and Johnson went it, that was all she wrote and Griff won his first and only title that season. So will Burrier’s backs be as good? Obviously too early to tell, but let Robio tell you where you need to get to. First, Griff’s three backs finished first (Alexander), second (Johnson) and sixth (Jordan) in rushing 2005. They combined for 4,655 rushing yards, 984 receiving and 60 touchdowns. Most importantly, they produced 10,104 fantasy points. For Rich’s backs to achieve those kind of numbers, they would have to average 777 fantasy points per week, or 259 points per game, per runner. Currently, Rich has the first, second and third best back in the NFL. They are on pace to rush for 5,002 yards, 1,194 receiving yards, producing 69 touchdowns on the season. They are combining to average 867 fantasy points per game, an average of 289ppg. So for Rich’s backs to overtake Griff’s, they need to average 750ppg in the last ten games.
#2 MOLLIPOP Despite losing to Bob last week, I’m moving Molly ahead of Bob. It looks like Molly’s week one stinker was an anomaly (which is fitting since it was her team name). Remember last year when that young man in the Boston area had a record setting year in fantasy football? Tom something, right? He averaged a stunning 433fppg. After three games, Cutler is averaging 424 points per game. Speaking of blowing up, how about that Matt Forte? He’s averaging a solid 255fppg in his first three career games. The last rookie running back to produce these kinds of stats was Cadillac Williams, who averaged 278fppg, thanks to 434 yards rushing in his first three games. However, the Caddy would only produce 513 rushing yards in his next eleven games.
#3 GATOR NATION Yep, I moved him up three spots and none of it had to do with anything that happened in his starting lineup. In fact, this leap up in the Robio rankings all has to do with Rudi Johnson finally getting some playing time and taking full advantage of it. Now does this mean he’s going to blow up and become a star? Nope. But if he can be a starter in Detroit, then Don has a serviceable #2 RB.
#4 GREASY ONION BOOTY One yard…that’s what the difference was between a win and a 3-0 start and a defeat. One single yard. Bob spend all night Monday trying to rally for a late win. He got within 58 points. The Chargers had the ball, but were stopped at the Jets 32-yard line, Bob’s kicker, Kaeding came in to kick a field goal. If only it was one yard further back. That one-yard meant Kaeding kicked a 49-yard field goal instead of a 50-yard field goal. A 40-yard FG is a 50-pt kick. A 50-yard FG would have been a 70-point kick and a win.
#5 YANKEE KILLAZ This just goes to show, despite winning and improving to 3-0, I actually dropped Dave. I even had the balls to keep Dave behind Bob, the guy he just beat. Ignore me and just focus on the one and only Julius Jones. The man who has produced 586 fantasy points over the last two weeks. Not bad considering he started behind Morris in week one. Does anyone remember how much we all laughed at this pick when Dave made it? For Dave, since going 1-12 in 2006, he has gone 15-3 since, the greatest 18-game stretch in league history.
#6 QUARTER POUNDERS Colby decides to play it safe and take out LT and put in a backup running back for Buffalo. Now that’s safe, but it did work out. Colby cruised to a solid win over Masterson, behind the passing of O’Sullivan? What the fuck? Stunning. While most people wouldn’t be that impressed by the Pounders 2-1 record after divisional play, technically in first place in their division, this has never happened before. After three weeks, the QP’s have never lead their division. This is a team that is 7-23 against the division, 3-12 in the first three games. This is huge!
#7 BACKSTREET BOYZ Okay, so the most amazing trio of wide receivers hasn’t quite worked out the way we thought they would. While Marshall is currently #2 (despite missing a week), Moss is 27th and Edwards…he’s…he’s…where the hell is he? He’s 81st among receivers, despite starting and playing in every game. Hell, there are 38 free agent receivers with better numbers than Edwards.
#8 THE SWAMP Finally, we saw all the pieces come together and it looked pretty good. No amazing days, no 500-point outbursts. In fact, only two players broke 200, but Eric still scored over 1,200. This should be a good sign for Vozzola Jr.
#9 G.I.L.F. A rough week for Matt. He failed to get an injured receiver out of his lineup and he had to watch Ronnie Brown (on his bench) have one of the greatest days ever for a running back. Now that’s cold. In the end, the receiver thing killed him, handing him a defeat. This is becoming a yearly tradition. However it is early and Matt is only 1-2, there have been enough positives on this teams; Rodgers, Brown’s game and the Vikes changing QBs for Peterson. Matt could surprise a few folks down the stretch.
#10 ROBOT SEX If Rich could ever get the right lineup starting the right week, he could actually win a few games. This week, his best receiver sat on his bench, as well as his best running back and third best running back. Good luck figuring it out all next week.
#11 THE GRIFFTERS The only reason I’m putting Griff ahead of myself is because he at least has some names on his bench he can put in right now to improve this team. In a league run by quarterbacks, Griff has nothing to speak of.
#12 ADAM JONES You know what, why torture myself? Why talk about my pathetic team with no running backs when I can talk about my other team in my other league with Bob. Currently, I’m 3-0 (22-7 overall in three years), with the league’s best scoring team…by a lot. Whereas my Robioland team has zero worthy backs right now, my other team has (count ‘em): Barber, Julius Jones, Matt Forte, Kevin Smith, Rudi Johnson and for good measure, Steve Slaton. Why can’t that Rob draft for Robioland Rob?
WEEK FOUR
The Griffters 1690 at Robot Sex 1098 G.I.L.F. 844 at The Swamp 1236 Quarter Pounders 1166 at John Mayer 594 Turtleheads 1502 at Adam Jones 1127 Mollipop 1517 at Gator Nation 1258 Greasy Onion Booty 1261 at Backstreet Boyz 1251
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS No need to wait until the Monday night game is over…I know our results. By the way, do you want to know how dedicated I am? Tonight is my anniversary and I’m STILL doing the Tuesday Thoughts. But in honor of my marriage, I’m doing them naked.
#1 YANKE KILLAZ I can’t deny him anymore. He’s 4-0 and the league leader in points. Did anyone see this coming after Brady went down? Anyone? Julius Jones has the 5th best average among runners. Graham has three 200-point games. Santana Moss is second in the league among receivers, 47 spots ahead of that other Moss. We could just call David lucky, but there’s more. In fact, I would credit him with two great non-draft decisions. First, he kept Graham over Maroney. Second, after Brady went down, he could have easily grabbed Cassel, but instead he took Edwards. Both decisions have really paid off well.
#2 JOHN MAYER Usually I punish 594-point games, but I’m not going to get too worked up over this disaster. Rich had three starters missing thanks to injury and a bye-week (he’ll miss two of the three again next week due to injury and suspension). Not even his running backs can average 400+ a week, however, despite the off week, his three backs STILL are 1, 2 and 3 in fantasy points. Everyone gets a bad week in Robioland, even John Mayer.
#3 MOLLIPOP Molly reaches .500 after a solid win over Don. However, it was not only an impressive win for herself, it as a clean sweep for her division. Both Coomers, Dave and Bob all went 4-0 this week.
#4 GREASY ONION BOOTY Missing three starters, including his quarterback and two running backs, being forced to play two backup running backs on their own team…no problem, Bob still scored over 1,250 and go 3-1. What’s more impressive is he didn’t get lucky with one great player scoring all the points. No player broke 250 points.
#5 GATOR NATION Forget the loss, let’s talk roster. Two weeks ago, Don had one back on his roster who was worth a start. Sure he had other backs on his bench like Rudi, Deuce and McAllister, but they weren’t getting any carries (Jackson was getting some). But then Rudi suddenly got 17 touches (14 carries, 3 catches) before the bye-week. This week Deuce got 20 carries, after only getting two in the first three games. Suddenly, Don is deep at running back.
#6 THE SWAMP For the second straight week, Eric’s opponent fails to sniff 900 fantasy points, which will explain why his opponents have scored the least amount of points. Looking ahead, based on record, things don’t look to be getting any harder. Griff and Masterson are a combined 2-6.
#7 QUARTER POUNDERS This week it became official…Derek Anderson…bust. Technically, we here at Robioland corporate office like to wait until the season is over to make that call, but for now the Pounders are in the hands of the one, the only JT O’Sullivan. I actually just traded for him in my other league, but it’s a two QB league (he’s partnered with Brees) and he’s a 15th round keeper. Remember, the Pounders have LT and Lynch, so they don’t need JT to be Brees or Cutler. They need a consistent 225-250 from him to get the job done.
#8 ROBOT SEX Poor Calderon, every year it seems like he has one of the deepest rosters when it comes to all 15 of his players. Of his 15 roster players, he could honestly put all of them into his starting lineup right now (except Curtis) and be able to justify why they are in there. The problem is (and has always been), with the exception of Brees, none are superstars (a player who can never be benched). So this forces him to make those decisions, based on match ups, the guru and his gut, who to start and who to bench. So far, the decisions have been wrong, but one thing has to be pointed out. Even if he made the right decisions the last three weeks, he still would have lost two of the three (just by a lot less).
#9 BACKSTREET BOYZ I still can’t believe how much of a bust Edwards has been. Why does it seem like every year a receiving trio goes to the Boyz and dies? Last year Rob had what appeared to be a deadly trio of wide receivers, but only one panned out. This year he had what looked like an even better trio, but so far, only Marshall has produced.
#10 THE GRIFFTERS Rule #5 in Robioland: If you want to win, just do a trade with me. Griff’s boys finally showed up with the arrival of Favre. Well, I might be overstating it a little. Jackson blew up, as did Schaub on the bench. However, Grant has to be a concern. After producing a decent 160 points in week one, he has produced a TOTAL of ZERO points the last three (10, 37 and –47). He is in real jeopardy of losing his starting job. Look on the bright side…losing Thomas Jones didn’t hurt you.
#11 G.I.L.F Let’s sum this one up quickly. Matt’s season will now all ride on Ronnie Brown. That’s right, Ronnie Brown. Right now, Matt has a decent QB (despite the recent injury), a solid running back and pretty good defense. However, he has no tight end, no receivers worth anything and no second running back…maybe. If Brown can prove that last week wasn’t a fluke and be a star, then Matt can survive this season. Two great backs can overcome two lousy receivers.
#12 ADAM JONES This weekend I was excited to watch the Cardinals/Jets game on TV this week, but it was the most painful three hours of my life. I told Masterson, I felt like the cop being tortured in ‘Reservoir Dogs’. First, the quarterback I traded (Favre) blows up and has a perfect day (six touchdowns). This wasn’t even the worst part because Favre would have been on my bench if I still had him. I come to find out during the first play that the RB I just traded for, Thomas Jones, wasn’t starting (although he did get most of the carries). Thanks CBS Guru for being on top of that one. Of course when Favre blows up, he’s throwing all his touchdowns to Coles, my opponent’s receiver. Meanwhile Kurt Warner is turning the ball over every other play. By half time, the Jets are up 34-0, but even then I still had a shot. Dave was only up about 300 points and Warner would be passing from this point out (as long as they didn’t pull him). He played and passed and passed and passed. The Cardinals would score on their first three drives, but here is where the torture really began. Each time, Warner would complete a pass and the guy would get tackled on the fucking one-yard line. Each time the Cardinals would run it in; 180 points lost. Despite all this, Warner did get a couple touchdowns late and I was within 50 of Dave, with the same amount of players in the second games. However, at the 2:00 minute mark-ish, Warner coughed it up again just as Dave’s RB (Graham) ran for a 48-yard touchdown. Then just for good measure, with only eight seconds left in the game, I turned to my wife and said, “five bucks says he throws another interception,” Warner throws another interception with no time on the clock. In my mind, thanks to his six turnovers an three missed opportunity touchdowns, I lost out on 450 points.
WEEK FIVE
Greasy Onion Booty 987 at Robot Sex 1081 The Griffters 1341 at G.I.L.F. 1333 Turtleheads 631 at Quarter Pounders 1449 Mollipop 1454 at Adam Jones 1583 Gator Nation 1125 at John Mayer 1135 Backstreet Boyz 1200 at The Swamp 977
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Week Five = Parity
Five teams headed into week five at 1-3 and four of them walked away with a win. Right now, only five teams are above .500. The highest scoring team is 2-3, the 11th best scoring team just had the high score for the week, and Reggie Bush just won a game for both Griff and Rich Burrier (more on this later). It was a week of nail biters; I beat Molly 129, Calderon beat Bob by 94, Burrier beat Don by 10 and Griff beat G.I.L.F. by eight.*** Note: Keep in mind with these close games, there have been times when a score has changed overnight. It is rare, but it has happened. In fact, Burrier beat me a couple years ago, despite the fact I went to bed leading with all the games done with. Basically, no games are official until 3am. CBS double checks all the stats to make sure they are correct. I only put up this warning because there were so many close games.
#1 JOHN MAYER He’s still the best team, despite a less-than-impressive performance. A win is a win, although he had to be sweating it Monday night with Don holding his lead until the five minute mark in the fourth quarter. If Burrier can figure out match ups between his three backs and two quarterbacks, he’ll be tough to beat.
#2 MOLLIPOP Yep, she just lost to me of all people, but no team has been more consistent over the last month. She has scored over 1,400 points in each of the last four weeks, twice losing despite being the second best scoring team. How’s she doing it? A running game. Forte and Portis have moved into fourth and fifth among backs.
#3 QUARTER POUNDERS Has any team had a quieter 4-1 start? Colby continues a trend of successful teams who drafted first in the league, despite the fact that his solid running back duo of LT and Lynch, have not produced. They are currently 15th and 16th among backs in fantasy point average. Having said all that, with the receiving core playing well, if these two runners can get it going, the Pounders can be dangerous.
#4 YANKEE KILLAZ It’s hard to argue that a team that is 4-1 is lacking consistency, but here I go. In odd weeks, Dave’s boys average 1,016. In the even weeks, Dave’s boys average 1,621. Next week is an even week, thus, Dave wins…or at least scores big.
#5 GREASY ONION BOOTY Sometimes, we all just make the wrong decision. Bob played the Packers defense against the Falcons. I can understand it seeing that they were playing in Green Bay. They produced only 45 points. On his bench he had the Panthers defense who knocked out 357 points. This is why Bob is the only 3-2 team in the league.That was the easy part. You could swap any of those five around and I wouldn’t bother to argue with you.
#6 BACKSTREET BOYZ I’ll stick Rob in front of Calderon and Don for now, mostly because of Randy Moss’ breakout game. The Pats finally let Cassell heave the ball more than five feet and he comes through. Granted, it was against the 49ers, but with Edwards struggling so much, it looks like the Moss trade might be a smart one. We’ll see.
#7 ROBOT SEX No one, and I mean no one has struggled with consistency in this league than Rich Calderon. Ever! This is a man who is in his sixth year of Robioland. A man who has played 79 games now and has never, ever won three games in a row. At least he’s consistent about not winning three in a row. Of course, why am I ripping on Rich? He won? Because Rich again has the most inconsistent team in the league. LJ goes from 405 to –10 in the span of one week. Calvin Johnson went from 366 in week two, to 72 the following week. Even Drew Brees has struggled to be consistent. He’s had three 400-point games, but no games between 215-400. The only consistent player on this team is a freaking rookie in Steve Slaton.
#8 GATOR NATION So much for Rudi Johnson becoming a second back again. At least Don was smart enough to not start him. After five weeks it has become obvious Don will not have a second back (at least not for a while), which means he needs to try to do what he did two years ago, win going three wide. He has the players to do it, but if Jones-Drew doesn’t start running like a first rounder, it won’t matter.
#9 THE SWAMP Eric falls to 2-3 and still has failed to break 1,300 points in a single game this season. I still think this team is good, just underperforming. The receivers are still solid, the tight end is still one of the best and Romo will eventually not throw an interception. My only concern (and it is a big one) is the running game. McGahee is a second back at best and neither White or Young look like a starter right now.
#10 THE GRIFFTERS Let me start off by apologizing to Griff. I dug his grave too soon in week five. The problem was, I overlooked the fact he had the Saints defense. So instead of talking about the demise of Griff, I’m actually going to talk about a possible new rule for next year. This season, more than ever before, people are getting stuck with injured players in their lineup, given no clue prior to game time that the player is injured. This happened to Griff this week, it’s happened to Eric and Matt too this year. It’s happening more and more. Obviously, it could just be a fluke. However, I’m one to believe its coaches hiding their injured players. Starting next year, I’m thinking about letting us fix this. There is no real good reason why if a player is not playing, you shouldn’t be able to take him out at anytime, as long as you’re replacing him with a player who has not started to play yet. Obviously, there are details we have to figure out. Like, do we only let you replace a player with a player on your roster, or do we let that person pick up a free agent quickly. In this case, Griff could have picked up any free agent QB playing at 4PM game or one of the two night games. To avoid any strange deeds, any change would have to take place using the commissioner tool and I would require anyone to do it, to post on the message board that they’re doing it. Anyhow, this is for next year. I don’t make changes in the middle of the season.
#11 G.I.L.F Poor Matt, no one suffers more out of the gate than Matthew. Only once has he had a winning record (3-2) after five weeks and that was 2005. He’s 9-21 in the first five weeks in his career, 2-13 over the last three years. Granted, he has turned it around typically after week five, going 25-22, but nine of those wins came last year.
#12 ADAM JONES Like I mentioned Sunday night, I got the high score and that’s fine, but the week was more of a bust. I spent all week trying to swap Brian Westbrook for two running backs. I negotiated, I haggled, I worked the emails. After a week, nothing happened and what does Brian Westbrook do? Break two ribs. It’s been a rough year so far. Westbrook can’t stay on the field, my rookie RB is on the bench, my other rookie back is out for the year, and one of my receivers plays for the Rams. Daddy needs some miracles.
WEEK SIX
Robot Sex 1373 at Backstreet Boyz 773 G.I.L.F. 1014 at Greasy Onion Booty 1485 Quarter Pounders 1352 at Mollipop 1387 Adam Jones 1096 at Gator Nation 1437 John Mayer 1199 at Turtleheads 1135 The Swamp 1370 at The Griffters 1126
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Yep, she likes it on top.I’m working on the mid-season report that will come out next week, so these Thoughts will be short.
#1 MOLLIPOP Yep, Molly gets the top spot. She’s the league’s top scorer and she’s didn’t do it with just one lucky high score. She’s been the most consistent team in the league and now has the number one back in the league in Clinton Portis. However, there is some concern. Jay Cutler’s stats have fallen for five straight weeks.
#2 GATOR NATON Speaking of consistent, Don is the only person who has scored in the top-six in five of the six weeks so far. Not bad considering he’s had no second running back. It would be helpful if Jones-Drew could get consistent. He’s had four games below 100 and two games over 340.
#3 GREASY ONION BOOTY He has a habit of scoring over 1,500 (or at least near it), but he has also scored under 1,000 twice, so he’s not getting the top spot this week. Parker’s back this week though, so that should be a solid boost.
#4 JOHN MAYER For a guy who’s suppose to be the best team in the league with his league best 5-1 record, the man, the myth has failed to break 1,200 in each of his last three weeks. How unimpressed should we’ve all be? I’ve scored more points than he has.
#5 QUARTER POUNDERS Has anyone had more big named busts than the Pounders? LT is broken down, Anderson was so bad he got cut (too early though?) and Houshmandzadeh has had only two games, yet here he is, sitting at 4-2. Not bad.
#6 BACKSTREET BOYZ Yep, Rob didn’t break 800 and had his ass handed to him by Calderon, yet I keep him ahead of Rich. What the? Call it a hutch, but we’re going to see Rob go a legit three-wide for the first time with Marshall, Moss and Edwards, all to go along with Reggie Bush. I like this foursome.
#7 ROBOT SEX He’s had a six-week three pre-season to figure out his roster. He’s survived it going 3-3. Now is the time to put this roster together and let us see what it can do.
#8 YANKEE KILLAZ Was David’s 4-0 start a fraud? He’s dropped two in a row and players like Moss, Jones and Coles are looking like we thought they would. On the bright side, did he pick up Derek Anderson at the right time?
#9 THE GRIFFTERS Griff’s opponents have scored over 2,100 more points than Colby’s team. Some boys get no love. His opponents are averaging 1,418 points per game. If this holds up, it would be the 4th most points scored by the opponents.
#10 THE SWAMP With Romo down, life is not looking food right now for Eric. He’s got no quarterback and no running game to speak of. Thank God he’s got two studs at the receiving spot.
#11 G.I.L.F. He has no receivers and no tight end and his amazing running game ain’t so amazing. The question at 1-5 is, do you believe in your team and remain patience or do you roll the dice and dangle Peterson in front of people?
#12 ADAM JONES At least Andre Johnson finally broke out. With nothing on my bench to trade, I have to hope Westbrook comes back and Holt starts to rediscover his old magic.
WEEK SEVEN
The Swamp 1298 at Greasy Onion Booty 1245 Robot Sex 1510 at G.I.L.F. 1082 Adam Jones 1613 at Quarter Pounders 1198 John Mayer 755 at Mollipop 981 Gator Nation 951 at Turtleheads 1295 Backstreet Boyz 1172 at The Griffters 1338
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS #1 MOLLIPOP – She didn’t break 1,000, but she won. Even she knows sometimes you just have to get lucky.
#2 ROBOT SEX – A major leap for Calderon in week seven. The team keeps improving, which is what impresses me…much more during the mid-season rankings.
#3 GREASY ONION BOOTY – A mixed bag of nuts. He lost for the third time in five weeks, but he moved back into the lead in scoring. However, seven teams are within 1,000.
#4 QUARTER POUNDERS – Last year I was beat by an 0-4 Pounders team. I never recovered. Payback, bitch!
#5 JOHN MAYER – Five wins should impress me. His backfield should impress me. They don’t. He’s 10th in the league in scoring.
#6 THE GRIFFTERS – Remember a few weeks ago when we all thought Griff got the better of the Favre/Jones deal? Matt Schaub is the new Romo.
#7 GATOR NATION – I was all ready to write about the new Nation, lead by the stunning running back duo of Jones-Drew and Sammy Morris. Then Morris had to go off and get hurt.
#8 YANKEE KILLAZ – You would think I would have much more love for a 5-2 team, sitting in first place. I’m feeling a fade. We’ll see if I’m wrong once again.
#9 THE SWAMP – Hey Willis McGahee, welcome to the 2008 fantasy football season.
#10 ADAM JONES – The fun irony of being Robio. I’m last in my own division, yet I’m the top scorer of the four, 4th overall.
#11 BACKSTREET BOYZ – I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Masterson and his injury issues year after year.
#12 G.I.L.F. – Why do defending champs struggle so much the year after the championship? If anyone has any answers, feel free to do a write up and post it. Anyhow, no need to panic, Matt’s only two games out of a playoff spot.
WEEK EIGHT
Turtleheads 900 at Backstreet Boyz 876 Adam Jones 1951 at The Griffters 1364 Quarter Pounders 1557 at The Swamp 1133 John Mayer 1189 at Greasy Onion Booty 1436 Gator Nation 1037 at Robot Sex 1625 Mollipop 1413 at G.I.L.F. 737
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS This week we saw most of the league leaders win, pulling further ahead. The top four scoring teams after seven weeks, all won this week. Let’s get started.
#1 MOLLIPOP Yep, I’m keeping her on top. She did nothing to make we want to knock her down – knock her up, that’s not my job. She won and she scored over 1,400 points. She’s scored over 1,380 in six of her eight games. This week she did it without her all-Robio quarterback, a suspended WR and her second back on his bye.
#2 ROBOT SEX That’s four straight wins, the longest in the league and he’s scored more points in each game. It’s easy to do when every RB/WR breaks 150 and Drew Brees came five points shy of 500. MVP! MVP! MVP!
#3 GREASY ONION BOOTY Bob wants the top spot in these rankings. I know it keeps him up late at night, although it could be the multitude of strippers who fondle his balls deep into the night out there in Hollywood. If he wants it…if he really, really wants it, he’ll get his chance to earn it. Over the next four weeks, Bob’s next four foes are 4th, 1st, 6th and 3rd in scoring right now. After that, he’ll finish the regular season against Dave, the league leader in wins. Earn it, baby, earn it!
#4 QUARTER POUNDERS His division does suck, but don’t blame Colby. He’s doing his part. Obviously the talking point has to be LT’s break out game. Remember when he use to average 350 fantasy points per game? Let’s see if it was a fluke. Anyhow, back to this division. Colby’s got two tough games coming up against #2 Robot Sex and #3 G.O.B. Let’s assume he splits those games, can you see him losing to anyone in his division? Let’s predict one upset and the Pounders finish 8-5. Finally a team I predicted to do well, actually does well.
#5 ADAM JONES Okay, it’s finally time to recognize my teams success. It’s hard to ignore that I was one missed Rob Bironas-field goal away from scoring 2,000. More importantly, after a rough start to the season, I’m back to .500 and leading the league in scoring for the first time in a looooong while. It’s helps when you break 1,500 in three of your last four. I still have plenty of concerns, but you know what? I’m not going to talk about it. I’m just going to soak it up.
#6 THE GRIFFTERS Griff’s 3-5, not currently in the playoff picture, sitting in dead last in his division – but it’s one hell of a division. All year long we’ve argued over who the best division was, but we usually only mentioned the Jersey & Manhattan division. Let’s look at the Brooklyn division. They got three winning teams (going 13-5 in non-divisional play). Griff is not one of those teams above .500, but it’s not for lack of trying. The four teams in this division are 2nd, 3rd, 6th (Griff) and 9th (Dave).
#7 TURTLEHEADS I’m giving Dave the 7th spot, not because he won this week, not because he’s the only six-win team in the league, but rather because he changed his team name. I could care less about baseball, but I hated the name ‘Yankee Killaz’.
#8 JOHN MAYER He loses two straight games after a solid 5-1 start and just like that, John Mayer’s third-person message board posts disappears.
#9 THE SWAMP No shame in losing to the Pounders, especially without your injured starting quarterback. I have finally decided, those running backs will not deliver Eric to the promise land. This what you get for only showing up to Football Sunday for half the games.
#10 GATOR NATION A #1 ranking in ’05, a championship in ’06 and a scoring title in ’07…seems like a long time ago, doesn’t it? For the record, Gostkowski was the third best scorer for the Nation.
#11 BACKSTREET BOYZ Are some defeats worse than others? YES. Rob lead by 150, with the Titans Defense. After a less-than-average first half, the Titans defense shut down the Colts. Rob had a lead, but was about to fall behind. Then Manning throw an interception. The Titans had the ball and Rob had a decent 930-900 point lead. But then Chris Johnson scored, giving Manning the ball. The Titans went into prevent mode. Manning went down the field, down to the one-yard line. Masterson had a 901-900 point lead with a minute to go, second and goal at the one. And just like that, Manning snuck it in, scoring a garbage touchdown, handing Masterson another defeat.
#12 G.I.L.F. Ugly. At least it came on the same day the Phillies improved to 3-1 with a 10-2 win.
WEEK NINE
Turtleheads 880 at Robot Sex 1215 Adam Jones 1555 at Backstreet Boyz 583 Quarter Pounders 1287 at Greasy Onion Booty 1422 John Mayer 816 at G.I.L.F. 1177 Gator Nation 1152 at The Griffters 605 Mollipop 1367 at The Swamp 549
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS With the election over and the U.S. ready to move towards Marxism, we can now focus on some fantasy football.
#1 MOLLIPOP Man, Bob’s going to be pissed. What can I do? I can’t drop the lady who has won four straight and six of her last seven. She continues to score well (over 1,350 in those seven of her last eight). Is she the best team? Probably not, but she’s that one team every year that you’re going to have to beat, because she ain’t going to lose.
#2 GREASY ONION BOOTY I’m sorry Bob for teasing you, giving you hope that you would find yourself at the number one spot. After a lackluster month, where he dropped two of three, never cracking 1,300 points. However, he’s back on track, winning three of four, scoring over 1,400 in the three wins. More importantly, his last two Ws have been against the division leaders (Burrier has fallen out of the lead). Next up, the league’s top scorer
.#3 ROBOT SEX Five and counting, and just like that, Calderon is in the lead for the division. The beauty of all this is the simple fact that, he had a bad game. Only one player broke 200 and three players couldn’t crack 90.
#4 ADAM JONES The question floating around is, am I underestimating my team? Am I being harder on myself? Maybe, but here’s my worry…I’m peaking at the wrong time. You want to peak in December, not October in fantasy land.
#5 QUARTER POUNDERS How do you save a season when you’re quarterback is a bust, you’re top running back has had a toe injury all season and your top receiver has failed to show up all season? Easily, solid (if not amazing) free agent pick ups. Colby’s snagged two who could end up being the best this season, Tim Hightower and Bernard Berrian.
#6 GATOR NATION Let’s forget football for a second, six months ago Don told me that he would vote for Obama over McCain. That was then, but what about now? Don’s a smart man and he wouldn’t fall for the Muslim bullshit. He would see pass the ‘socialist’ and there’s no way a man with a 85 or higher IQ (sorry Matt) not be completely insulted by the Palin pick. I can only wonder.
#7 TURTLEHEADS The 7th and 8th picks came down to Dave and Burrier. Both had great starts, but neither has scored many points. I’ll give Dave the 7th spot since he’s hasn’t suffered as much in the loss column. However, if I had to bet who will turn it around, it would actually be Burrier.
#8 JOHN MAYER Sorry Burrier, great teams don’t drop three in a row, failing to break 1,000 in two of them. In fact, Rich hasn’t sniffed 1,200 points since week three. Worse yet, his last four opponents have all scored more than him this season. Actually worse yet, he lost to fucking Matt.
#9 THE GRIFFTERS You better win next week or the season will be over soon. Your last four opponents are a combined 23-13.
#10 THE SWAMP You want me to write about you…start a full lineup for once.
#11 G.I.L.F. The season is save, for one more week. At 2-7, you’re two games out of the final playoff spot, so if I was you I’d start cheering against Don…a lot.
#12 BACKSTREET BOYZ That’s four straight defeats, never breaking 1,200. Who cares that his players are hurt, they’re busts when they do.
COMING UP: – We got a great week coming up, with some solid match ups.
ROBOT SEX VS QUARTER POUNDERS How this for a match up…the top seed versus the second seed. I would say the winner has the inside track for the #1 seed, but if Bob wins and Dave loses this week, Bob could go from 4th to 1st.
ADAM JONES VS GREASY ONION BOOTY Now we’re talking. The #1 scoring team versus the #2 scoring team. Ten bucks says we have the lowest scoring game of the week. It’s an important game. With 4-5 teams really standing out this season, getting a top seed can really pay off.
G.I.L.F. VS TURTLEHEADS One team is 2-7. The other is 6-3. Guess which one is the favorite this week? In fact, don’t bother. Why would I write that unless Matt was the favorite?
THE GRIFFTERS VS JOHN MAYER Griff’s lost two straight, Burrier has fallen three straight times. Something has to give.
THE SWAMP VS GATOR NATION The team who actually plays eight starters wins this week.
BACKSTREET BOYZ VS MOLLIPOP Does Rob really have a shot? Now that’s cold.
WEEK TEN
G.I.L.F. 1082 at Turtleheads 605 Greasy Onion Booty 1719 at Adam Jones 1575 Robot Sex 1173 at Quarter Pounders 976 The Griffters 1468 at John Mayer 1200 The Swamp 1248 at Gator Nation 1104 Backstreet Boyz 997 at Mollipop 1695
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS A weird week ten. Four games went into Monday night undecided, but none of the teams trailing were able to rally to win. Obviously the only thing anyone cares about is who’s number one. By the way, the end of the SF/Arizona game – the worst run final :45 seconds in league history. Worst.
The 49ers trailed by five, with under a minute to go, but they had the ball. Their receiver caught the ball and was tackled on the two. First down (no time outs). First, they decide to spike the ball, then changed their minds, then again. It took them 25 seconds to spike the ball. Then they ran the ball, didn’t get in, then it took them 18 more seconds to lineup and spike the ball again. Then the refs called for a review, they came back from the review and the 49ers ran another running play and didn’t get in.
Jesus. You pass the ball, four straight times. They got two plays instead of four and they lost the freaking game. Also, before we get started, let me point out my favorite stat of the year so far. We had three division leaders after five weeks, all four were sitting pretty at 4-1 each. Since then those three teams have gone 4-11. Let’s move on, shall we.
#1A MOLLIPOP Seriously, I’m just going to cut and paste my Molly write-ups from each week. I just keep writing the same damn thing. She’s done nothing to earn a drop from the number one spot. She’s won five in a row, she scored over 1,700 this week. Now we have two teams in the same division, both at 7-3. However, don’t get too cocky. This actually isn’t the best start ever between two divisional foes. Jason and Anne went 8-2 and 7-3 to start the season in one division.
#1B GREASY ONION BOOTY Impressive win, made more impressive by the fact Bob’s best running back had 23 yards on 14 carries (14 fantasy points). As you can see, I could no longer ignore Bob’s accomplishments, but at the same time, I couldn’t move Molly down a spot. Solution? They can share the top spot together. Their week 12 match up will be huge, because despite the success, one of them is going to be a top seed, while the other will have to suffer with the 4th spot. Oh yeah, thanks to Dave’s defeat, Bob moves into the #1 spot in the playoff picture.
#3 ADAM JONES Yep, I lose and move myself up two spots. I have no choice. I was third in scoring this week, only losing to the top scoring team. I remain the highest scoring team in the league for the third straight week and I scored over 1,500 for the fourth straight week. I’m one away from tying the record held by Bob and myself. The bad news is, the lose drops be two games back of Calderon for the division and at 5-5, I could be knocked out of the playoffs. More than likely, I’m going to be one dangerous lower seed.
#4 ROBOT SEX The win was ho-hum, but the win was his sixth in a row. This puts him tied for 7th all-time, for a winning streak. If he went undefeated the rest of the way and won the title, he would tie myself with the longest winning streak ever. Anyhow, more importantly than records, he’s got a cushion for the division, opening up a two-game lead over everyone else sitting at 5-5.
#5 QUARTER POUNDERS I’m giving Colby 5th by default since no one stepped up to take it from him. He got his quarterback, but no one else really showed up (except Scaife). Obviously these numbers could be a fluke, but this might be one of those maybe games. Maybe Hightower isn’t really ready to be a full-time starter. Maybe Berrian isn’t reliable to be a weekly starter. Maybe Tomlinson’s numbers won’t improve. Lot’s of maybe’s.
#6 THE GRIFFTERS Could end up being the best team not to make the playoffs. You have to love that distinction. The problem isn’t that Griff’s team isn’t good enough, it’s the simple fact he’s got the toughest road ahead. His final three opponents are 20-10 and he’s already leading the league in opponent’s points. Granted, Griff will probably be the favorite over David, but he’ll need to upset either Bob or Molly to get into this thing.
#7 THE SWAMP Wouldn’t you know it, McGahee plays and has a great game. This was a solid win, that might just save the season. However, next week is going to be huge. For the first time I think all year, Eric will have his attended starting lineup. Romo should be back at QB and let’s assume McGahee will play back-to-back games. This is the lineup I’ve been waiting for — and of course I’ll see it up close, since he’s playing me.
#8 GATOR NATION Sometimes a decision can cost you a game. I can understand why the move was made. McNabb was going to face the G-Men, while Pennington was going against the worthless Hawks. The decision cost Don about 181 points. He lost to Eric by 144. Now Eric is in and Don is out, at least for the time being.
#9 JOHN MAYER Remember back in the day when Burrier and David were sitting on top of the world. Both were 4-1 and Burrier was posting in the third-person almost every day as a mystical gay creature, John Mayer? Man that seems like a long time ago. He’s dropped four straight and a trip to the playoffs is in serious doubts. He’s now 5-5, which is good enough for now, but he’s 9th in scoring. Two teams sitting a game behind him, are beating him in points, but a solid amount. Any tiebreaker would be bad for Rich right now.
#10 G.I.L.F Two wins in a shitty division is almost equal to four wins. He’s actually got a better shot at winning the division, than making the playoffs as a lower seed. You read that correctly. The problem he has with making it in as a power seed is, of the eight current playoff teams, he’s only going to face one team that’s in it, the Pounders.
#11 TURTLEHEADS That’s three straight games without sniffing 1,000 points and looking at that roster, does anyone expect Dave to turn this ship around? Next week will get a little easier thought, he’ll get both Graham and Moss off bye-week.
#12 BACKSTREET BOYZ How bad is this division? We know that nobody is above. Colby is in the lead at 5-5. Three of the four teams are currently sitting out of the playoffs. This has never happened before. What’s all this mean for Masterson? Dspite being 2-8, he still can win the division. It’s a long shot, but here it is. Colby needs to go 0-3 and Don needs to go 1-2, Matt needs to go 2-1 and Masterson needs to sweep. This would give us four teams at 5-5. The winner will be who has the most points. Good luck.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY: #1 GREASY ONON BOOTER, 7-3* #2 ROBOT SEX, 7-3* #3 QUARTER POUNDERS, 5-5 #4 MOLLOPOP, 7-3 #5 TURTLEHEADS, 6-4 #6 ADAM JONES, 5-5 #7 THE SWAMP, 5-5 #8 JOHN MAYER, 5-5
OUTSIDE LOOKING IN: #9 THE GRIFFTERS, 4-6 #10 GATOR NATION, 4-6 #11 G.I.L.F., 3-7 #12 BACKSTREET BOYZ, 2-8
WEEK ELEVEN
The Griffters 1287 at Greasy Onion Booty 1493 Robot Sex 1586 at The Swamp 1044 Quarter Pounders 827 at Gator Nation 1045 Adam Jones 1183 at John Mayer 1499 G.I.L.F. 1118 at Backstreet Boyz 1278 Turtleheads 382 at Mollipop 1128
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS #1 GREASY ONION BOOTY Finally, Bob gets the top spot all to himself. He scored over 1,400 for the 4th time in a row. What’s more impressive is the fact that he’s needed almost all those points to win. His last three opponents were 4th, 3rd and 4th in scoring that week. The scary part is, he might just be warming up. Manning is getting hot, Jacobs has been bullying everyone and Boldin has been a God.
#2 MOLLIPOP Sorry Molly, I hate to knock down a winner, but Bob’s been more consistent. You want back on top? You know what you have to do. Beg – no wait, sorry. Wrong ‘fantasy’. You have to beat Bob next week.
#3 ROBOT SEX This might be the only season where a team can win seven straight games and not crack the top spot in Robio’s rankings. The 7th straight W now puts Calderon into a tie for 6th longest streak in league history. My question to Rich is, are you getting bored? Not only have you’ve been scoring well, over 1,500 in three of your last five, your opponents aren’t showing up either. Four of your last seven have failed to break 1,000. Your average margin of victory in your previous six is 448ppg.
#4 ADAM JONES A slight bump in the road against Burrier this week, but I won’t punish myself too much. Obviously making the playoffs is what’s important, but with my success this season, I can point once again to being able to get talent throughout the season (since my draft sucks every year). I started five players I did not draft this year and that doesn’t even include Thomas Jones on my bench, who is the AFC’s leading rusher.
#5 THE GRIFFTERS Someone has to always be a great team that misses the playoffs and it’s starting to look like it will be Griff. However, he has only himself to blame. Actually he can blame being an alcoholic. You see one night, Griff came home and did an add/drop, dropping Kurt Warner. As we all know, I picked him up. A week later, Griff explained to me he was drunk and didn’t mean to do it. Too bad, since if he had just called me the following day, I would have just given him back to him. Anyhow, Warner was gone, forcing Griff to make a trade for Favre. He gave up Thomas Jones, who has been fantastic recently. One drunken add/drop cost him both Warner and Thomas Jones. That’s rough.
#6 JOHN MAYER Four-game losing streak, snapped. A huge win for Burrier, needing to save his season. Did he know something about Houshmandzadeh that the rest of us didn’t know? If that game wasn’t a huge fluke, Burrier could be dangerous again.
#7 GATOR NATION He’s in for now, but the win was more luck than skill. He’s still got no second back and Owens has been sleepwalking for over a month now. A lot can happen the next two weeks. Don could win the division and be a third seed. He could sneak in and get a bottom seed, or he could miss the playoffs still. He’s also got an easy finish, facing 3-8 Matt & 3-8 Rob. If he can’t win one of those, he doesn’t deserve a place in the playoffs.
#8 QUARTER POUNDERS Talk about stumbling and bumbling his way into the playoffs. Four weeks after earning a nice win over Eric, scoring his season high, Colby’s team has produced less and less each week. He’s now lost three in a row, falling into a tie for the division with Don. Colby does still enjoy a nice 500-point lead over Don in points, so if they finished tied and he maintains that lead, he’s okay. Even if he falls behind Don, as long as he wins at least one, he should be fine. He leads Burrier, David, Eric and Griff in total points.
#9 THE SWAMP One Vozzola falls out of the playoffs, the other one moves in. Despite all of Eric’s troubles, despite dropping three of his last four, if he beats me next week, he’ll regain control of his own destiny.
#10 & #11 BACKSTREET BOYZ & G.I.L.F. I’ve already pointed out the road both Rob and Matt needs to take to get into the playoffs. For the next two weeks, Masterson and Neatock are BFF’s. Rob will be cheering for Matt and Matt will be cheering for Rob.
#12 TURTLEHEADS A total of 382. That’s how many points David scored this week. That is the third lowest scoring game in league history. Dave may make the playoffs, thanks to his 4-0 start, but he’s dropped three straight, his best score in his last four was 900 points (in a win) and he’s now last in scoring. If he drops his last two, three things need to happen or him to miss the playoffs…Eric, Don and myself have to win at least one more (staying ahead of you in points, which won’t be a problem). If one of us can’t win at least one, then Griff would need to go 2-0.
WEEK TWELVE
Turtleheads 1444 at The Griffters 876 Adam Jones 1869 at Robot Sex 1183 Quarter Pounders 1397 at G.I.L.F. 1001 John Mayer 832 at The Swamp 1535 Gator Nation 1327 at Backstreet Boyz 1566 Mollipop 1190 at Greasy Onion Booty 938
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS As a team, I was ecstatic about week twelve. My team preformed well and I got myself a playoff spot. As a league commissioner, I was quite sadden by the results this week. We headed into this past week with all 12 teams still vying for a playoff spot (even if remote), but thanks to Eric’s victory and Matt’s inability to take down Colby, three teams basically ended their season this Sunday. Anyhow, for those three teams (Griff, Rob M, Matt) just do me a favor and make sure you each start a complete lineup this week.
#1 MOLLIPOP One win away from a division title, the top seed and ten wins. Sure she’s done it before, but you could argue she was just lucky. While you could say this season she has been lucky again because her opponents don’t show up (she’s last in opponent’s points per game), it’s not a fluke. She’s third in the league in scoring. However, if Bob wins next week, she’ll need to win to stay out of the 4th seed.
#2 GREASY ONION BOOTY The Booty had a chance to leave his mark. He had a chance to leave this league behind. He had a chance to wrap up the division and the top seed. He failed. Of course he can still do all those things, but for this week, Molly’s in charge and she did it on the field (or on the computer).
#3 ADAM JONES With this win and this score, I have pretty much wrapped up the scoring title. This is huge. No matter how many wins you get or well you do in the playoffs, there’s just something about outscoring everyone. You can win ten games and have it be a fluke, but you can’t be the scoring leader and be a fluke. Most impressively, I did it starting only two guys I actually drafted. Five of my starters (Warner, Jones, Williams, Bryant and the Ravens defense) had all been cut by someone this season (except Jones who I traded for).
#4 ROBOT SEX It only took six years. Yep, six years to earn that first division title. It had to be a little sweet that you did it in the same division with Burrier, who rolled off four straight division titles while sharing a division with you. No matter what, the second seed belongs to Calderon. While mathematically Rich could still get the top seed, he would need to score one hell of a game this week. He could face one of four people in round one, Burrier, Don, Eric or me. Of course if he beats Burrier this week, it won’t be Rich. He’ll either stay at the 8th seed or fall out of the playoffs. If I was a betting man, it will be a Vozzola.
#5 GATOR NATION An impressive game, despite the defeat. Can Owens just wake up in time for a solid playoff push? Maybe, but it’s too soon to talk about playoffs. Like I said before, we got a great final week scenario heading into the final week. Don needs to win, which should not be an issue. If you can’t defeat a 3-9 team in week thirteen, your season should be over. If he does win, he has to cheer against his own son (sort of). His son could win, as long as Burrier loses.
#6 QUARTER POUNDERS One more win and the division belongs to Colby. I’ll actually be rooting for him. The last thing we want in this league is a 6-7 division champ. The Pounders though are one of those teams, the kind that slide under the radar due to a couple bad games and just plain dumb luck. Let’s not forget the simple fact, he’s still 5th in the league in scoring. Since he leads Don by about 570 points, he’s pretty much wrapped up the division and the third seed. The question is, does he end up facing last in scoring Dave or first in scoring Robio in the first round.
#7 THE SWAMP Now that’s an impressive win. Is Moore really that good? Is he one of those hidden gems who can propel a team to a championship? I would say yes if it wasn’t for those running backs in the Swamp. Eric has a big one this week, facing five-time high scorer Robio Murray. The chances of a win are probable, but I won’t beat on him. His best case scenario if he loses; Calderon beats Burrier, knocking Rich out of the playoffs (assuming Don wins).
#8 BACKSTREET BOYZ While the Jets are playing great and Rob still cuddles with his baseball champ, it’s time for some good old fashion soul searching. It’s been seven years, seven long years since Rob joined our beloved league and he is slowly becoming one of the league’s most disappointing teams. Sure we can find reasons for it. Every year it seems that Rob either has major injury issues, super stars who fall off the map or he simply has opponent’s who score a lot. He can’t seem to catch a break. For the third time in four years, Rob’s left to ponder what went wrong?
#9 THE GRIFFTERS Someone always have to give up the most points and in 2008, that person is Griff. His opponents averaged 1,410ppg, which would end up being the 4th most points scored by a team’s opponent. No luck, no love, his running back duo completely failing him, Griff has now missed the playoffs for the second straight year. In fact, Griff has played in one playoff game (a defeat) since his amazing title run in 2006. Griff will have the whole offseason to figure out how to salvage this baby. He spent the first eight years in Robioland as an elite team who dominated in the post-season. Now he’s second fiddle to his wife.
#10 JOHN MAYER And just like that Burrier goes back to being Burrier. A week after cracking 1,499, he can’t even break 1,000. For Rich, the playoffs start next week because he can’t rely on Matt Neatock beating Don. With his total points, Rich will lose tiebreakers to both Eric and Don. He needs to win to get in. If he doesn’t, he’ll be part of history (sort of). Only one 4-1 team has failed to make it to the playoffs (Bob in 2002).
#11 TURTLEHEADS Don’t underestimate who big of a win this was against Griff. If Dave would have lost, he probably would have needed to win this week to get in, thanks to an awful point total this season. Now it is official and David is in, but what’s he in for? We can’t overlook the simple fact that Dave starts a backup running back in his lineup (and not one of those good ones like James Stewart or Derrick Ward). Right now, Dave is the #5 seed. He’s also dead last in points this season, so he’s the team we all want to face. Right now, he will end up facing either Molly or Bob. However, if he loses next week, he’ll fall to the 6th seed (and face Colby). If Burrier wins also, he would fall to the 7th seed (and will face Calderon.
#12 G.I.L.F. It is official, Matt Neatock had the worst title defense is league history. It was a long hard fall for Matt, who went from the penthouse to three wins in one season (of course it could be four wins). He’s earned it too, by not scoring. Currently he’s battling David for the league’s lowest score. Of course coming off a championship, one could argue this was a fluke season, but since his title game sandwiched between two three-win seasons, maybe the title was a fluke. It’s too soon to tell. Anyhow, Matt has already earned the top pick in 2009. There is no way that can change. He’ll have a tough choice right off the bat. Do you keep Peterson for one more season at a great location, the very back of the second round (24th pick), or do you draft him with the first pick and keep him for a fresh three years? He’ll have plenty of time to think about it.
WEEK THIRTEEN
The Griffters 961 at Mollipop 1145 Robot Sex 1394 at John Mayer 794 G.I.L.F. 1388 at Gator Nation 1540 The Swamp 1433 at Adam Jones 2100 Backstreet Boyz 1054 at Quarter Pounders 1371 Greasy Onion Booty 922 at Turtleheads 643
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
#1 MOLLIPOP (10-3) Molly earns her second 1st seed (her first was in 2002). However, she has to be a little concerned. She has failed to break 1,200 in her last three games. However, ten wins or more has been a good thing in this league. Teams that have won 10+ in the regular season are 7-2 in the first round.
#2 ROBOT SEX (9-4) He hasn’t been overpowering the last two weeks, but Rich was able to nail down his first ever division title and his first trip to the post-season since 2005. He’ll get a tough match up in round one against the Gator Nation.
#3 QUARTER POUNDERS (7-6) Colby had dropped five of six, but he finished strong winning his last two to wrap up his first division title. He also lucked out big time, getting David in round one, instead of me. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.
#4 GREASY BOOTY ONION (8-5) Hey Bob, this is a bad time to fall apart. That’s back-to-back weeks failing to break 1,000. He loses the division to Molly and falls into my lap in the first round, setting up a quarter-finals match up between the two top scoring teams. The good news for Bob is that he’ll probably be the favorite thanks to some nice match ups next week.
#5 ADAM JONES (7-6) No matter what happens in the post-season, I can walk away from this season happy. I will finish the regular season as the scoring champ. No luck, just points, that’s why I like it. How good has it been? I’ll tie the record for most high scores in one season, but more impressively, I did it this year in a thirteen-week season. How good was it? Four teams in the league don’t have six high scores in their career. My only fear? With a 2,000-pt week (probably) this week, I’m afraid I peeked too early.
#6 TURTLEHEADS (7-6) No team deserves to miss the playoffs than this team. He started 4-1, but fell apart big time. He’s last in the league in scoring (by a hefty margin). He’s failed to break 1,000 in five of his last six games. Having said all that, he’s only three games away from being the champion (just like seven other teams). Let’s hope for the integrity of the league, he loses quickly.
#7 GATOR NATION (6-7) For Don, he had been struggling. He went five straight weeks without breaking 1,200 points, until the last two weeks. Last week he broke 1,300 and this week he’ll most likely crack 1,500. This is Don’s 4th straight trip to the playoffs, In three of those years, he was a 5th seed or higher. However, he’s 0-3 as a 5th seed or higher. The one year he won, he was the 7th seed…look what he is this year.
#8 THE SWAMP (6-7) No shame in going backwards into the post-season this year. Eric scored well and just got beat by a hot team. He gets in my outscoring Burrier in total points, but not enough to get the 7th seed over Don. For Eric, he should be a bit excited heading into the post-season. He might even be the favorite. Molly hasn’t been putting up a ton of points heading into the post. Also, the 8th seed has won in the first round in three of the last five years.
OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS:
2009 4th Pick – John Mayer (6-7) Man, the playoffs just won’t seem the same without a Burrier. To think, it was only eight weeks ago Rich was sitting on top of the world at 4-1, talking trash with the best of them. Now he’s left to figure out what went wrong. Obviously he’s set up nicely for 2009 with Michael Turner in the 2nd round and either Eli in the 8th or Ted Ginn Jr. in the 10th round. He has no one in the third category right now.
2009 3rd Pick – The Griffters (4-9) He once dominated this league, but now he’s the new Eric. He’s missed the playoffs two straight years. Griff’s keepers looked great heading into ’08, but it didn’t quite work out for him this year. In 2009, I’d be shocked if Griff doesn’t keep the threesome of Roddy White in the 5th, Eddie Royal in the 9th (or possibly Schaub in the 8th) and Jason Witten one last year in the 13th). Obviously, Griff will be going back-to-back RB in the first two rounds.
2009 2nd Pick – Backstreet Boyz (4-9) Rob has officially missed the playoffs for the second straight year, and third time in four seasons. Heading into ’09, Rob again will have what appears to be good keepers, along with a high draft pick. My gut says he keeps McFadden over Bush. He kept the Raiders rookie back as a practice player, so he’ll be eligible as his keeper for an additional year. So we’re saying McFadden in the 3rd and Brandon Marshall again in the 11th round. In the second category, it is too early to call. He can do Ray Rice in the 6th (doubtful), Dustin Keller in the 9th or the Titans Defense in the 10th round. With keepers still so much in the air, it’s hard to say who will be available. If I keep Westbrook, then Barber might go first (although we all know Matt hates having Cowboys). In reality, I have no clue.
2009 1st Pick – G.I.L.F (3-10) We already knew this was going to happen. For Matt, that championship seems like so long ago. He becomes the second champion to follow it up with earning the top pick with a three win season. Like we’ve pointed out before, Matt has a tough choice to make in 2009. He has Peterson one more year in the second round, which will be the 24th pick in next year’s draft. He’ll be able to also keep Aaron Rogers in the 10th Round and Wes Welker again in the 13th round. Obviously he could not keep Peterson, keep Ronnie Brown in the 3rd instead, then just draft Peterson in the first round (having him for three more years). However, he could also just keep Peterson and Westbrook. The problem is, he won’t know if I’ll keep Westbrook or not when he makes his decision. He’s got plenty of time to think if it.
FIRST ROUND MATCH UPS
#1 Mollipop vs #8 The Swamp Molly hasn’t won a playoff game since 2002 and Eric hasn’t won a playoff game since…well…ever. Something has to give. The last time Molly did win a playoff game, she finished with ten wins that year too. While these two have never met in the playoffs, they have met 11 times in Robioland. Molly leads the series 7-4.
#2 Robot Sex vs. #7 Gator Nation Rich Calderon and Don have met twice in the playoffs, both times in the first round, both times Rich winning it. As a 4th seed, Rich beat Don in 2004, 1,845-1,075. Last year, #7 seed Rich upset #2 seed (and top scorer) Don, 1,604-1,436. For Rich, he fell into an unlucky seed. The second seed hasn’t won since 2004.
#3 Quarter Pounders vs. #6Turtleheads Colby and Dave have never faced off in the playoffs, however, the Pounders lead the series 4-1. After making a finals appearance in 2005, the Pounders lost in round one in 2006. For David, he has won three-straight first round games. However, he has not sniffed a title game since 2001.
#4 Greasy Onion Booty vs. #5 Adam Jones The match up I’ve been dreading. For the first time ever, we have the two top scoring teams facing off in the first round. Sometimes life just isn’t fair. Robio and Bob have never faced off in the playoffs, but Bob has owned me in Robioland. Bob leads the series 7-3.
QUARTERFINALS
Mollipop 982 at The Swamp 850 Robot Sex 1133 at Gator Nation 1505 Quarter Pounders 1041 at Turtleheads 652 Greasy Onion Booty 1136 at Adam Jones 1641
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Not these two again in the semis.And then there were four. The final four is set and we got some interesting match ups. First, although we had at least one major upset by 7th seeded Don, we actually have four of the top six scoring teams in the semi-finals. Ironically (and this always seems to happen), two teams from what was considered the worst division are in the final four. However, both Colby and Don had produced a couple solid weeks heading into the post-season. Let’s look at our match ups.
#1 MOLLIPOP VS #7 GATOR NATION This will be the first post-season match up between the two, but Molly leads the all-time series, 7-4. The match up guarantees we’ll have at least one Floridian in the finals for only the second time in four years. First, we have to hand it to Don, he’s had a nice four-year run now. We already know about the career triple crown (one top seed, one championship and one scoring leader) over the last three years. This year, he stayed steady, stayed in the top half of scoring (6th overall) and just knocked off a good Calderon team. Sweet revenge for last year’s first round upset, when 7th seeded Calderon beat #2 Don. Can this Vozzola make it two trips to the finals in three years?In his way is Molly, who won her first playoff game in 2002. It’s been six long years, but the last win she got put her in the 2002 championship game. Amazingly, Molly’s opponent again failed to show up. This is the 9th straight game where her opponent has failed to break at least 1,000 in a game. Despite being the #1 seed and sitting third in scoring, she’s probably going to be the underdog against Don. Her numbers were padded early on this year. She hasn’t broken 1,200 in over a month, while Don is riding back-to-back games over 1,500.
#3 QUARTER POUNDERS VS #5 ADAM JONES The match up between the two undrafted teams. These two teams won their quarterfinals games starting only five of the 16 players they drafted (Colby actually started two players that were once on my team). Anyhow, this will be the second time Robio and Colby have faced off in the semis. #7 Jeff & Colby defeated #6 seeded me, 1,880-1,540. The 1,550 was the most points scored by a losing team in the playoffs. Overall, the Pounders lead the series 5-2, but I got the game earlier this year.What can we say about the Pounders playoff win? It was win and that’s really all that matters. There is no such thing as an ugly win in the post-season. 66% of his points came from two players; Shaun Hill and the Colts Defense. The crazt part is, you could see as many as five different players in his starting lineup in the semis, who were on the bench in quarters (Rivers, Hightower, Branch, Cooley and the Steelers Defense).As for me, what can I really say? What’s really is amazing is the fact I got the high score…again. Now officially I don’t count into the record book, high scores that happen during the post-season, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it. That’s three weeks in a row, six out of the last eight weeks and seven, yes SEVEN overall. That means I have produced the high score in half the weeks this season. What’s even crazier is the fact I had two guys I was considering to play up until Sunday (I had actually put Bryant in my lineup and took him back out) who combined for 950 points. If I would have played them, I would have scored nearly 2,400 points.What does this all mean? I’ll lose to Colby next week. You watch.
HOW ABOUT THOSE FOLKS WHO LOST?
Here is the order for the draft next year: #8 RICH CALDERON: It was fate. The man who dominated as a 7th seed throughout the years, would be ousted from the playoffs by a 7th seed. With Brees and Slaton returning next year, Calderon should be back near the top in 2009. #7 BOB CASTRONE: Just bad luck, landing the highest scoring team in the quarterfinals. You would have beaten Molly, Eric, Colby, Dave and Rich C. You would have only lost to Don and myself. That’s how fantasy rolls. Right now I have you keeping Boldin and Chris Johnson, so Bob will head into ’09 with a leg up. #6 DAVID: If you can’t properly set your lineup, you don’t deserve a write up. #5 ERIC: You gave Molly a run for her money, but you don’t deserve to win if you can’t break 900 points in a fantasy game. Next year, Eric doesn’t have too much keeper-wise, although he’ll have a tough call between Steve Smith for two more years in the 4th, or TOny Romo for one more year in the 5th. #4 RICH B: No more Tomlinson, no more Barber….oh, the dynasty that wasn’t. However, Rich does get a top-five back (Turner) with the 21st pick in the second round. #3 GRIFF: All of Griff’s hands could be his keepers next year with White in the 5th, Royal in the 10th and Witten in the 13th for one more year. He could also go with Schuab in the 8th. #2 ROB M: McFadden for three in the third or Bush for two in the second. Right now i have Bush going in the first round in our league mock draft and McFadden going a round and a half later. #1 MATT: He already knows his choices, but if I was a betting man, he keeps Peterson in the 2nd and drafts the best back to start the draft. But that’s for now.
SEMI-FINALS
Gator Nation 1281 at Mollipop 1119 Adam Jones 1760 at Quarter Pounders 1064
And here we go again. Let’s look at the numbers: – This isn’t the first time a 5-seed has faced off with a 7-seed in the title game. In fact, last year #5 Matt defeated #7 Rich Calderon. – This is the 4th straight year the 7th seed has appeared in the title game. So far, the 7’s are 1-2, but the one win was Don two years ago. – This is the third time a 5th seed ended up in the final. So far, 5th seeds are 1-1. – This is the 4th time the league scoring champ made it to the finals. The good news for me is, the scoring champs are undefeated in the title game. – Repeat players: Kurt Warner and Rob Bironas both have a chance to appear on back-to-back championship teams if I can win. Warner was Matt’s starting quarterback and Bironas was his kicker. Both sit in my starting lineup. – If I win, Kurt Warner would win his third championship in Robioland. He won it as the starting quarterback for me in 1999 and Matt in 2007. – Don loves himself some 7th seed. He’s 5-0 as the 7th seed, 0-4 as any other seed.
THE RE-MATCH
Robio and Don faced off in the 2006 Final Game. As you recall, Don easily defeated me 1,617-844. Strangely, both of this year’s teams are better than their 2006 counterparts. Don entered the ’06 playoff as only the 9th best scoring team. This year he’s 6th in scoring. That year I was third in scoring, rebounding from a rough 3-5 start. This year I’m first in scoring, recovering from a tough 2-4 start.However, some things are similar. That year, I cruised through the first two rounds, leading scorer both weeks. Don was 2nd in scoring in both weeks. This year, I’m tops the last two weeks, Don has been second in both weeks (among playoff teams).The one thing we learned that year was, everything that has happened prior to this week means nothing. All the touchdowns, yards, stats and wins – none of it matters. This final week, it all comes down to match ups. Let’s see what we got:
QUARTERBACKS: (ROB) Kurt Warner @ New England. (DON) Donovan McNabb @ Washington
RUNNING BACKS: (ROB) Brian Westbrook @ Washington (ROB) DeAngelo Williams @ NY Giants (DON) Maurice Jones-Drew vs. Indianapolis (DON) Marvin Harrison @ Jacksonville (counting him as RB)
WIDE RECEIVERS: (ROB) Andre Johnson @ Oakland (ROB) Antonio Bryant vs. San Diego (DON) Greg Jennings @ Chicago (DON) Terrell Owens vs. Baltimore
TIGHT ENDS: (ROB) Tony Gonzalez vs. Miami (DON) John Carlson vs. NY Jets
KICKERS: (ROB) Rob Bironas vs. Pittsburgh (DON) Stephan Gostkowski vs. Arizona
DEFENSE: (ROB) Ravens DST @ Dallas (DON) Cowboys vs. Baltimore
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Adam Jones 1041 at Gator Nation 1216
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS DONALD DYNASTY – He raises his kids to be Republicans and he has no hair, but he’s got two championships in three years. What have you’ve done lately?
That’s two champions in three years. Of course that by itself doesn’t make one a dynasty, but in the last four years Don has nailed down two titles, one scoring title, finishing as the top seed in the other. Don is 36-23 over the last four years and has had only one losing season since 2003.Granted, he’s going to have some strikes against him. Some will just call him lucky. He’s won both titles as the 7th seed, and this season he’ll become the first team to finish the regular season below .500 and win the title. However, as a league we’ve been pretty successful guaranteeing that the best teams win the title. Let’s look back:
1999 – Robio: I was clearly the top team. I was the top seed and highest scoring team. 2000 – Robio: I wasn’t the best, but I was the 2nd seed and the second best scoring team. 2001 – Jason: He was clearly the best team that year. The top seed and the top scorer. 2002 – Robio: I was second in scoring, but I entered the playoffs winner of 6 of my last 7 games. 2003 – Rich B: I was clearly the best team in the regular season, but Burrier was clearly the second best. 2004 – Bob: He was only 5th in scoring, but he was clearly the best in the second half. He scored six-straight 1,500-pt games. 2005 – Griff: He had a rough start, but there was no doubt he had the best team going into the post-season thanks to Alexander/Johnson. 2006 – Don: Still the worst champion. He was 9th in scoring and he cracked only 1,300 once in his last seven games in the regular season. 2007 – Matt: He had a rough start, so he managed only seven wins, but with Peterson and LT, Matt was the clear favorite heading into the playoffs.
So how do we view Don’s championship in 2008? He was never a favorite to win it all. Just like in 2006, he needed help just to reach the post-season. This year, he needed both Eric and Rich B to lose in the final week. The one set of stats that stand out to me is, in the 13 regular season games for Don, no one ever had a weekly high or a weekly low; neither him or his opponent. That’s only happened only once before, Matt Neatock in 2003.
Don only broke 1,500 once this season (in the final week), but he also only failed to break 1,000 once this season (week seven). One last stat, this is the second time ever the champion was outscored by his opponents in the season. The other one? Don in 2006.
As for me, I’ll actually be cheering for Jennings tomorrow night to score big, because I don’t want to live with the thought knowing that leaving in Warner for Jackson will be the nail in my coffin. The difference? 345 points. If I had made the right decision I would be up 280 points heading into Monday night.
I sat in front of my computer debating to make the change up until 1PM. In the end, I decided to stick to what had worked all season long, ignoring the facts; Arizona on the east coast, Warner outdoor, Warner in the snow. Costly.
No one stepped up to have a big game. Only Antonio Bryant broke 200 (thanks to a 77-yard touchdown). Andre Johnson killed me as well, catching only two balls in the 4th quarter. If you can’t do it against the Raiders, then you can’t win a title.
Congratulations to Don. I can only imagine that we’re going to have a run of kickers in the 7th round (for the record, Gostkowski outscored Kurt Warner by 204 points). For Don, he did it again with only one running back (thank God for that rule change in 2002). Don did it with a combo of good draft picks and free agent pick ups, along with two solid keepers in Owens and Jennings. He grabbed the Cowboys defense right when they turned elite and Carlson was a top-five tight end down the stretch.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON 2008, LOOKING AT NEXT YEAR’S DRAFT ORDER:
#1 Matt Neatock: Good news for Matt, there is a 90% chance I won’t be keeping Westbrook next year, which means Matt could be looking at a Peterson/Westbrook backfield.
#2 Rob Masterson: I’ll probably have to agree with Rob, he certainly hasn’t had any luck in Robioland. Decent keeper options and high pick should be a positive, but I feel like we’ve preached these lines before. For the record, Rob would be pissed if I didn’t mention that he won championships in his three other leagues and in baseball. Congratulations.
#3 Griff Coomer: Speaking of lucky, the man’s opponents have scored the most points the past two years.
#4 Richard Burrier: Amazingly (due mostly to LT), Rich has had an All-Robio running back in five out of his last six seasons. Who did he have this year? I’ll be completing my All-Robio First and Second Teams tonight.
#5 Eric Vozzola: Eight years and ZERO playoff wins. While his Dad has started to own the league, Eric is still last in every major category. The good news is, he has made the playoffs two years running, he just needs to take the next step.
#6 David Hightower: A pathetic season by a once solid league member. He wil need to earn my trust to find a spot in Robioland next year
#7 Bob Castrone: He’s a winner. Yeah he lost in the first round, but sometimes you’re just unlucky. I’ll never fault a guy for that. Bob’s won 8+ games for three straight years (Masterson has yet to win eight in a season). There’s little proof that the winning won’t stop, since Bob is stacked again with Chris Johnson for two more years.
#8 Rich Calderon: After missing the post-season two straight years, it looks like Stella has finally got his groove back. A runner-up season, followed up by his first division title. Most importantly, Calderon had his first ever ‘All-Robio’ player in Drew Brees.
#9 Colby Hall: All things considering; LT’s toe, busts like LT and Housh, Colby had a solid run. Let’s hope he’ll be drafting his own team again in 2009.
#10 Molly Coomer: I believe (and I’ll have to check) that Molly is the first person in Robioland to earn 10 wins in the regular season three times in a career. Reason #1 why she’s the winningest team in the league.
#11 Robio Murray: The title game defeat is starting to sink in. After Jennings did little Monday night, I can’t help but see the 1,300 points sitting on the bench. I decided to play ‘match up’ football and I failed. I had three ‘All-Robio’ players and two more second-team players. I should not have lost this game.
#12 Don Vozzola: He got lucky. I never want to diminish anyone’s title run – Don won it, he earned it, it’s his – but he got lucky. His 1,216 points is the lowest for a title game win – which says more about my pathetic effort though.
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