WEEK ONE
Gator Nation 1178 at Burrier Bruisers 711 The Caucasians 1409 at David the Patriots 1334 Class of ’07 927 at Ming Dynasty 1493 Manhattan Projects 843 at The Goon Squad 1107 The Franchise 811 at The Quarter Pounders 1075 Molly Pop 1472 at Backstreet Boyz 1324
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
#1 – Ming Dynasty: Back on top…at least for one week. I’ve scored over 1,400 in nine straight games, that is a record. #2 – Molly Pop: After starting 0-3 in opening games, she’s won two straight. She may be missing a solid receiver, but if her running backs can average 250ppg, then it won’t be such a flaw. #3 – Quarter Pounders: This was the first opening day victory for the Pounders. It wasn’t an impressive week, but a solid trade bumps you up to the three spot. #4 – The Nancy’s: Over the last two years, Bob has struggled on opening day, averaging 784 the past two seasons. Bush may not be a pro bowler this year, but after week one, it doesn’t look like such a bad pick. #5 – Griff Stoners: Your best player did nothing, yet you pulled off a good win. However, is it too early to start the Aaron Brooks cut-countdown? #6 – Backstreet Boyz: Despite the loss, it was a good week, thanks to your running backs. Bledsoe worries me a bit, but let’s see what he does next week. Bad news though, this was your sixth straight loss, this ties you with six other teams for 4th place all time (The record is 8 straight). #7 – David the Patriot: Portis looked healthy and he should be back in your line up next week. Burrier better watch out next week; in seven years, Dave has never started the season 0-2. #8 – Manhattan Projects: Despite the ugly defeat, I still have high hopes for this team. Taylor looked good, so it might just come down to putting the right guy in at the right time. You better figure it out soon though; next week’s match against me won’t be a cakewalk. #9 – Don’s Gators: Sorry to have you so low. You won, but I still don’t see this team going too far without a second running back. #10 – Eric’s Dolphins: It was a rough week, but it wouldn’t be any fun if this was easy. You have a tough one against Griff next week, but I can see an upset. #11 – Burrier Bruisers: Without Tomlinson, you could have had a real ugly lose; meaning bottom ten ugly. You better hope Kevin Jones figures out Martz’s offense soon. #12 – The Franchise – Palmer did nothing, Droughns did less, Reggie Brown isn’t the man in Philly and Jackson is hurting. Hopefully it was just a rough week.
WEEK TWO
David the Patriots 948 at Burrier Bruisers 1027 The Caucasians 1360 at Gator Nation 809 Manhattan Projects 1296 at Ming Dynasty 1210 The Goon Squad 1361 at Class of ’07 1300 Molly Pop 1484 at The Franchise 1376 Backstreet Boyz 1588 at The Quarter Pounders 1562
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
#1 MOLLY POP (2-0) Not only has she pulled off two wins, she’s done it impressively with back-to-back 1,400-pt games. For now, the Bears look like a great pick, Eli looks like a viable fantasy QB and oh by the way, her top three running backs have scored over 200 points in all their games. She’s going to need more from those receivers down the road.
#2 THE GOON SQUADS (2-0) There has to be some concerns; Johnson and Alexander have been less than great. However, they will be eventually and like I said Sunday, it appears the Goons have filled two big needs at 2nd receiver and at defense.
#3 BACKSTREET BOYZ (1-1) How lucky can one get. All the Pounders needed to beat you were three extra points or one field goal and he couldn’t get it. Just like that, you go from having a painful, high scoring, defeat to the week’s best win (and high score). More importantly, your six-game losing streak ends today. Welcome back to the winning column.
#4 QUARTER POUNDERS (1-1) A tough defeat, but it’s only one game. It’s the third time since 2004 you guys have lost a game, despite scoring over 1,500. By the way, so far, so good with your trade. The three guys you got produced 870 total points. If they keep that up, you won’t be losing too many games this year.
#5 THE CAUCASIONS (2-0) The Pounders got three starters, but you got Manning who just produced the year’s highest scoring game. You’re off to a solid 2-0 start, scoring over 1,300 in both games, but more importantly, it’s looking like you’re not in the strongest division in the league.
#6 MING DYNASTY (1-1) It was a tough loss for me, especially when you think of all the points I left sitting on my bench. I knew all week to put Brees in, but I kept putting it off. Parker crashed and burned in Jacksonville. Hopefully it’s just a fluke week against a tough defense.
#7 MANHATTAN PROJECTS (1-1) I know what you’re thinking; you beat me, so why are you behind me in the rankings? The fact is, I’m a little worried about your team. The Rams O has looked bad, thus, Holt has too. Is Rivers really the answer at QB? We’ll see. The Redskins have forgotten about Cooley. Although McAllister and D. Williams had 200+ games, I’m always worried about backs splitting carries. And what about the Buccaneers? The defense has been simple and the Cadillac has stalled. This was a solid win, no matter my worries.
#8 DAVID THE PATRIOT (0-2) You get the nod over the people below you (including Rich, who beat you, because at least you had one good week. You’re missing your best player and your top rated QB has been less than his best so far. The positive is, you have the top receiver in the league (Coles) and Reggie Williams has looked good down in Jacksonville. There is hope, we’ll see.
#9 CLASS OF ’07 (0-2) Coming off a rough week, you bounced back nicely, it just wasn’t enough. Next week you lose Jordan to a bye-week, but in all reality that’s probably a good thing. He needs to sit on the pin until he gets a yard.
#10 THE FRANCHISE (0-2) Despite the rough start, you should have hope. Palmer looked good this week so did Jackson, but you’re going to need more consistency from the Eagles DST, Vernon Davis and oh yeah, your #1 draft pick needs to stop playing like a 10th round pick.
#11 BURRIER BRUISERS (1-1) You won a game, but it wasn’t that impressive. In fact, you have become the 8th team in league history to not break 1,000 in either of your first two games. Of those seven other teams, only one (Matt Neatock in ’05) were able to make it to the playoffs. If Matt can do it, so can you. However, you better find some production from that second running back.
#12 DON’S GATORS (1-1) Oh Don, you’re not last because of the results so far, you’re last because I see a dismal future. Your stars can’t stay healthy; Davis out for good and Owens will be out for a couple weeks (luckily ones a bye-week). The player’s that are healthy are under performing; Bulger, McGahee and Walker. You’ll always have the Pick Em’s.
QUICK PEEK AHEAD TO NEXT WEEK:
Ming Dynasty vs. The Goon Squads – Robio leads the series 7-4. (However) I haven’t beaten Griff since 2002, but I have the advantage going into this week. I’ll have everybody available in week three, Griff losses Larry Johnson, Terry Glenn and the Chargers DST. EARLY CALL: Ming Dynasty
Manhattan Projects vs. Class of ’07 – Eric actually leads the all-time series 2-1. Bye-week loses won’t really effect either team. While a defeat wouldn’t kill the Projects, Eric can not, CAN NOT, fall to 0-3. EARLY CALL: Class of ’07
Burrier Bruisers vs. The Caucasians – Burrier leads the series 2-1. The Whitey’s are hot and have a chance for their first 3-0 start. It seems like 2005 was so long ago for Bob (Marc). While Bob loses a kicker and a TE, Rich loses his top dog, Tomlinson. Without him, Burrier will struggle to cross the 1,000-pt line again. EARLY CALL: The Caucasians
Don’s Gators vs. David the Patriot – Don leads the series 5-2. While Dave should finally get Portis back and healthy, Don will be lucky to field a competitive team. Sadly for Don, it’s week four that will be his tough week to deal with bye’s. EARLY CALL: David the Patriot
The Quarter Pounders vs. Molly Pop – Molly leads the series 2-1. Molly loses her tight end next week, but that’s about it. This is the game of the week and the winner will be on top of the league’s best division. However, the Pounders have some favorable match ups next week, which will be tough for Molly to overcome. EARLY CALL: The Quarter Pounders
The Franchise vs. Backstreet Boyz – Rob leads the series 2-1. Rob loses both his QB and 2nd running back due to bye-weeks, but he has the backups to put in their place. Although Matt is 0-2, he won’t be a cakewalk. He’s got some players, he just needs them to play. EARLY CALL: The Franchise (Upset Special)
WEEK THREE
Gator Nation 1663 at David the Patriots 1504 Burrier Bruisers 1635 at The Caucasians 1007 Ming Dynasty 1047 at The Goon Squad 908 Class of ’07 1110 at Manhattan Projects 1376 The Quarter Pounders 1034 at Molly Pop 1268 The Franchise 1095 at Backstreet Boyz 1103
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS It’s good to be you if you’re 3-0…am I really only talking about Molly? Actually it’s not that surprising. No team has started 3-0 since David and Griff both did it in 2003. Now, what does 3-0 mean? It means you’re going a long way this season. In league history, 11 teams have started the season with three straight wins. Of those eleven, only one (Robio last season) finished below .500. Eight teams have finished with a winning record, with two finishing at .500. Of those eleven teams, all eleven went to the playoffs. However, this is where it gets tricky. Only four teams have won their division, only one earned the top seed and none, count it, none have won a championship.
Three teams, David, Eric and Matt have started the season 0-3. It’s the first time in league history, three teams in one season have started 0-3. How bad will this season be for them? History says, oh not so good (Unless your name is Robio). In league history, thirteen teams have started 0-3. Of those thirteen, only three finished with a winning record (Robio twice), however, five teams have made the playoffs…not too bad, considering you basically have to finish winning six of your last nine.
#1 MOLLY POP (3-0) A good win, hell, three great weeks. You take down the Pounders, despite having a stunning 484-pt running back sitting on your bench. You have a favorable schedule and no killer bye-week (maybe week seven), but with both the Boyz and Pounders in your division, you’ll have to win at least nine to win the division. The good news is, you already beat them both.
#2 QUARTER POUNDERS (1-2) Some may argue that this is a little high for a two-loss team, but let’s look at the facts; they lost by a couple hundred, despite playing a injured player. More importantly then the win is the QP’s injury report. They got Steve Smith and despite not playing him, he had a solid game. Look for him to return to the starting lineup next week. However, Dillon went out with an arm injury. At this point, we know nothing about the injury, but if he misses a lot a time, it probably wouldn’t hurt the Pounders too much. They have a solid threesome at receiver (Smith, Wayne, Stallworth) who could fill in. However, it could be a bad thing if Dillon is out for a while and he loses his starting spot to the rookie.
#3 THE GOON SQUAD (2-1) Despite the loss, you get a pass this week because you had to replace three great starters (Johnson, Gates and Chargers DST) due to bye-weeks. Like I said, Griff built this team to win a championship, not bye-weeks. The good news out of week three was another solid game by Grossman. It’s starting to look like he’s a good option to lead this team. The bad news though is pretty bad. Alexander suffers the MADDEN curse and breaks his foot. Luckily, he’ll only be gone a couple weeks. The better news for Griff is he had Morris sitting on his bench. He’ll be a good fill-in for the next two weeks.
#4 BACKSTREET BOYZ (2-1) Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good. Your luck being, you faced a dumbass like Matt who can’t even replace his bye-week kicker. Actually, this wasn’t too bad of a win. You were missing three starters, Moss, Jones and Bledsoe (actually, it’s probably a good thing Moss wasn’t playing) and two of your three subs had really solid games (Pennington 223, Bell 226). The real good news is it looks like you drafted the right ‘Bell’ in Denver, as Tatum got almost all the carries this past weekend…oh, did I forget to mention the great Ravens defense? Sorry about that.
#5 MANHATTAN PROJECTS (2-1) The Projects get a nice bump in the rankings this week. Why Robio, why? Rich’s team has improved each week; 843, 1296 and 1376. This tells me that this is a guy who is starting to figure out his team. I’m still concerned about the lack of a ‘great’ RB and the DST has had some troubles, but Rich sure knows how to put in the right QB each week so far.
#6 MING DYNASTY (2-1) Technically, thanks to total points, I’m in first place in my division, so I’ll take it. I also take one lucky win over Griff. I needed this win, since I’m losing three starters next week due to bye-weeks (and a backup too), so this was a needed win. There are some concerns though; my running backs can’t seem to get in sync. One guy gets 300+ one week, the other gets nothing. The next week, the other guy produces 300+ and the other guy does nothing. At QB, the Warner era is over, in comes Brees. At WR, my top dog gets benched in the second quarter and Chambers has struggled as the whole Miami ‘O’ has. Hopefully this is just some early season struggles. If so, I’ll be happy to walk away 2-1.
#7 BURRIER BRUISERS (2-1) Of course Burrier will demand a 1st place in the Robio rankings, but one good week doesn’t move you up that much. What do we have here? With Tomlinson taking a week off, Rich puts in the Redskins backup running back who comes through with 324 points. Wow. Also, can he really rely on Alex Smith as his starting QB? It seems to be he can. He finally got a great game from Jones, but let’s keep our cool, it was the Packers defense. Rich should be excited (especially with Housh back), but give me another good week and I’ll be aroused.
#8 THE CAUCASION (2-1) A tough week for Whitey. Was it just a rough week or a sign of things to come? Manning’s still a stud, despite scoring less than 300 and Boldin had a great game, even with Warner at QB, but I foresee four issues right now. Moss…even with Brunelll has a great game, Moss doesn’t. Bush…he’s not getting the carries and has yet to score a TD. Jones…he’s getting the carries in Chicago, but he’s not running that far when he does. Taylor…he looked fine against the Colts, but so did Drew-Jones and now all of a sudden I’m reading that the Jaguars are going to split carries down there. It’s tough to win this league with 100-pt backs.
#9 DON’S GATORS (2-1) He tells me he’s quitting cause his team sucks so bad, so what do they do? Score the league’s highest game of the year. The stars finally acted like stars; Bulger, Walker and McGahee and Keyshawn continues to surprise us all. Two other bits of good news for Don; reports from Big ‘D’ is Owens could be back next week and maybe more importantly, Dayne got all but one carry for Houston, getting 71 total yards. Let’s see if this is a trend.
#10 DAVID THE PATRIOT (0-3) The record isn’t pretty, but in two of those three games, you scored enough to win. Last week, the second best scoring team lost, this week, you were the third best scoring team, but you lost. You got the players, you just need a break.
#11 CLASS OG ’07 (0-3) Eric’s had a tough stretch here in three weeks. His opponents have scored 4,230 total points; most in the league, but buddy, you have to win one of those games at least. In your next five, only two have winning records (including both the other 0-3 teams, let’s see if you can turn this stuff around.
#12 THE FRANCHISE (0-3) You can’t win if you have three players with ‘0’. One was not your fault, Davis was hurt during thee game. One you could have maybe prevented; Droughns was announced out about an hour before game time. One was completely your fault. There is no excuse, whatsoever to play a kicker on his bye-week. Shameful. Bob/Marc did the same thing earlier this season, but at least he won.
WEEK FOUR
Burrier Bruisers 760 at Class of ’07 1116 The Franchise 1031 at Gator Nation 1158 The Quarter Pounders 1559 at Ming Dynasty 978 David the Patriots 1128 at Manhattan Projects 843 Molly Pop 1380 at The Caucasians 1473 Backstreet Boyz 1380 at The Goon Squad 1429
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
#1 Molly Pop (3-1) Three times this season, a player was ruled out at the last second and a team started a player who wasn’t playing. It just goes to show, in fantasy football, line up’s aren’t set until game time. This mistake cost ya, but we’re forgiving here in Robioland. Don’t let it happen again.
#2 Quarter Pounders (2-2) I told everyone they were good. McNabb may end up being better than Manning (he has the past two weeks) at a third of the cost. They still lack greatness in the running game, but make it up with a solid receiving core.
#3 The Goon Squad (3-1) Starting last week, you had a tough three-week stretch where you would be missing at least one of your two stud backs, so far you’re 1-1, not bad. Once you get past these bye weeks, you should be ready to roll.
#4 Backstreet Boyz (2-2) You may have a good but not great team this season, but you easily got the best bench in the league. Looking at your bench now, you could start those guys (Pennington, Addai, Bell, Bryant and either Moss/Bennett) and still beat some teams…or at least the Franchise.
#5 The Caucasians (3-1) You got lucky this week and you still have a less than satisfying running game, but I can’t ignore the fact that your team has scored over 1,360 in three of your four games (all victories). BTW, congrats Bob on winning your fantasy baseball title…again!
#6 Ming Dynasty (2-2) I had two good pickups this week in Delhomme and Kennison, who produced 473 points, but that’s about it. By not scoring 1,000 this week, I’ve ended the longest current 1,000-pt game streak at 12 games. Molly and Bob/Marc are now tied with the longest 1,000-pt streak at 5 games.
#7 Manhattan Projects (2-2) Twice you failed to score over 900 this season. That’s not Calderon football. What’s more shocking is the turnover rational. No, I don’t be fumbles. In four weeks, you’ve already cut your QB, TE and DST and none of your running backs are blowing up consistently.
#8 Don’s Gators (3-1) Two weeks removed from quitting, Don’s won two straight games and is sitting pretty at 3-1. Although you’re clearly not one of the best teams in the league, you only have to win three of your last nine to make the playoffs.
#9 David the Patriot (1-3) He gets into the win column, even without an impressive score. The Chiefs are looking solid (proving me wrong yet again), but one question…is it time to sit Lewis and bring in the rookie?
#10 Class of ’07 (1-3) So was this the real Jordan or was this just a fluke? We’ll see. How long will you go with Vick over Brady? Will the Dolphins ever figure out how to run the ball with Brown? Too many questions, not enough answers. However, I bump you ahead of Burrier because you beat him.
#11 Burrier Bruisers (2-2) Speaking of not breaking 1,000, Rich failed to crack 800 for the second time this season. It’s tough to score without a QB. Erase his one 1,635 game and Burrier is just averaging 832ppg. Yummy!
#12 The Franchise (0-4) Poor Matt, one more loss and you’ll tie the record for worst start to a season at 0-5. It looks like your season will go down the drain just as James’ career sinks in Zona. However, this also could just be an unlucky stretch too. You’ve lost all four by slime margins; 264, 108, 8 (your own fault) and 127. That’s not awful.
WEEK FIVE
The Quarter Pounders 1285 at Burrier Bruisers 1027 Gator Nation 1023 at Class of ’07 811 The Franchise 1074 at Ming Dynasty 1324 Backstreet Boyz 870 at David the Patriots 804 The Caucasians 1163 at Manhattan Projects 1120 Molly Pop 1418 at The Goon Squad 1227
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS by “special” guest, Rob Masterson
MOST LIKELY TO MAKE YOU THEIR BITCH:
1.MOLLY POP. It’s a sad state of affairs when a 12 man fantasy league is being led by the league’s only sack-less member. And while her tats make her more manly then some of the guys in the league (cough Marc Patini cough) Molly’s been whipping the competition with her solid, big D. Add in her Westbrook/Dunn/Gore RB committee, and it doesn’t matter even if she is starting Eli at QB – Molly’s the top squad in the league MOST LIKELY TO BE EXCHANGING HANDJOBS FOR VICTORIES:
2. THE CAUCASIONS. When Fred Taylor is leading your team to a 4-1 mark in 2006, you know you’ve sold out your dignity. Considering an aspiring new wave star/ aspiring Ray Romano combo owns this squad I wouldn’t put it past them. Better hope Peyton averages 400 the rest of the way.
MOST LIKELY TO NOT SHOW UP ON DRAFT DAY, CRY ABOUT EVERYTHING, AND FINISH FIRST IN TOTAL TRANSACTIONS:
3. THE QUARTER POUNDERS. Colby is an enigma. He refuses to show up on draft day, letting his whipping boy Greenblatt make the picks. Colby then proceeds to drop/trade away 2/3 of his roster by week 2. Add in that Colby spends more time then anyone battling Robio and his rule changes, doesn’t allow jeff to do the pick’ems or post on the MB under the QP name, I’ve got to ask…Colby, won’t you please join us at the draft in ’07? We’d love to see you there. MOST LIKELY TO SHIT THE BED DURIN THE REGULAR SEASON ONLY TO CLEAN UP IN THE PLAYOFFS:
4. THE GOON SQUAD. LJ. Alexander. CJ. Glenn. Rex? Shit yeah, Rex. Gates. I don’t think anyone’s going to want to face you in Nov or Dec… unless they enjoy a good ass slamming (burrier?) MOST LIKELY TO HAVE HIS ENTIRE ROSTER TEAR THEIR ACL’S, AS HIS OPPONENT’S PPG AVERAGE REMAINS THE HIGHEST IN THE LEAGUE:
5. BACKSTREET BOYZ. Steven Jackson, Julius Jones…. it’s only a matter of time. P.S. Neatock, Dave… thanks for the wins. I’d be 1-4 without you guys. I owe it all to you. muah. MOST LIKELY TO SECRETLY THINK THEIR TEAM IS “THA BOMB, BRAH.”:
6. MING DYNASTY: It happens every year. Murray struggles. He makes some moves. He fights his way to respectability. All of a sudden he wins back to back games in November. And then it comes.. Robio suddenly places himself atop his power rankings. The Dynasty is back. He suddenly starts walking with a strut. He lets his sideburns grow. Hey, Parker and Rudi are nice, but where’s the rest of your team? Wake up.. Third Eye Blind isn’t hip, and this definitely aint 1999.
MOST LIKELY TO MAKE THEIR SON PUT ON A DOMANICK DAVIS JERSEY AND PROCEED TO SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE
7. DON’S GATORS. Oh Domanick, Domanick.. what could had been. It would had been lovely. Bulger throwing bullets. McGahee running like it was 2004. T.O.! Javon! Keyshawn as a backup! Instead, Don’s looking at Mike Bell as his most solid #2 RB, and a definite downward spiral from his 4-1 mark. Strap on in Don, it’s going to be a rough ride ahead.
MOST LIKELY TO LOSE IN WEEK 6:
8. MANHATTAN PROJECTS. Not only are you up against the mighty, good looking Backstreet Boyz, you’ve lost Fitz to an injury, and lose 7 players to byes, including BOTH defenses on your roster, your TE, the WR who would replace Fitz, and your usual starting RB. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Rich trying to pick up Max Lerner or Alex Binder on the waiver wire this week. Yeah, Two-A-Days, season 2.
MOST LIKELY TO REALIZE THAT HAVING 2 OF THE TOP 3 SCORING TE’S IN THE LEAGUE DOESN’T WIN YOU GAMES:
9. CLASS OF ’07. What a glorious team this would be, if Eric could only start both LJ and Winslow? Why, he’d win every week! Too bad he can’t, and he’s stuck with a lot of big names who aren’t posting big name numbers. This team’s still got a shot to compete.. all he needs is a few players to get on track -Jordan, Brown, Harrison, Horn (okay, his whole team) and perhaps a smart trade or two.
MOST LIKELY TO TAKE A BASEBALL BAT TO COREY DILLION’S KNEE:
10. DAVID THE PATRIOTS. This team isn’t going anywhere unless Maroney consistently gets 20 carries a game. Either that, or Heath Miller catches 86 yd TD passes every week. Good luck.
MOST LIKELY TO FINALLY WIN THEIR FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON:
11. THE FRANCHISE. 0-5. It isn’t pretty. But Matt has some talent on his roster, and if he actually paid attention to his lineup, would already have one win under his belt. If he can get a #2 RB (Tatum Bell, anyone?) , we’ll be hearing about 4 or 5 wins in his future… which is 4 or 5 more than his girlfriend can hear.
MOST LIKELY TO SHIT TALK HIS WAY TO THE #1 PICK IN 2007
12. THE BURRIER BRUISERS. What a dilemma you face. Keep Tomlinson with the #1 overall pick in 2007, or use the #1 pick in 2007 on LT. Hope you don’t lose too much sleep over that one.
WEEK SIX
Burrier Bruisers 1638 at The Franchise 1565 Class of ’07 1328 at The Quarter Pounders 1447 Ming Dynasty 1136 at Gator Nation 1668 David the Patriots 1135 at Molly Pop 1146 Manhattan Projects 1560 at Backstreet Boyz 1265 The Goon Squad 743 at The Caucasians 1170
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS No Thoughts
WEEK SEVEN
Ming Dynasty 942 at Burrier Bruisers 1497 Gator Nation 1203 at The Quarter Pounders 1628 Class of ’07 1191 at The Franchise 1728 The Goon Squad 1251 at David the Patriots 648 The Caucasians 1320 at Backstreet Boyz 1340 Manhattan Projects 1056 at Molly Pop 1358
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
TEAM TO BEAT QUARTER POUNDERS – They may not even be leading their division, but there’s no doubt in Robio’s mind that the Pounders are the team to beat. They’ve produced over 1,400 four times, including three of the last four. With McNabb, they got the league’s top arm (for only eight bucks) and they have the league’s leading rusher (even if he never scores). He’s got the second best receiver in Smith (behind Holt). The boys lack a great defense and they have nothing on their bench but they X-Factor will be Dillon. Currently, he’s a solid, if not great, 2nd back, but if the Patriots decide to start playing the youngster (if you’ve seen a Pat game, you know Maroney is better), then Dillon could hurt the Pounders. Even if that happened, Stallworth (if he ever gets healthy) would be a solid third receiver.
DON’T FORGET ABOUT… MOLLY POP – Lady Cooms has won two division titles and has been to a title game, but this is easily her best team. Westbrook and Dunn have been the best backfield (even if Westbrook has been benched a couple of times due to injury concerns). We can’t forget about Gore, the best back on anyone’s bench. The Bears DST have been better than advertised, personally responsible for at least two Molly victories. However, there are two reasons why Molly sits (slightly) behind the Pounders as the ‘Team to Beat’. The receivers are good, but way too inconsistent to be top dogs in the house. Both at best are second receivers. I’d also be a little worried about Dunn and Westbrook lasting throughout the whole season. Both are little guys, who’s numbers tend to fall later in the season (right when Molly is in the playoffs.
THE TALENT IS THERE BACKSTREET BOYZ – Speaking of solid running back combo, Jackson and Jones are two top ten backs, who have lead the Boyz back from the 2005 grave. Throw in a great trade that landed him Palmer and a top receiver in Andre Johnson, oh yeah, a top-three defense and Masterson may have the best team to finish third in his own division in league history. Barring injury, the Boyz will be back in the playoffs, but they could easily be a 5th seed and will have to face either Molly or the Pounders in the first round; not so much fun.
DON’T LOOK NOW BURRIER BRUISERS – To everyone’s dismay, Burrier’s team actually has looked pretty good and I’d hate to say this, but is starting to resemble a certain Stoners team from last season. Let’s see; a slow start, a few suck-ass scores before finally turning it up at the mid-season. He has the league’s best fantasy player in Tomlinson (who can run, catch and throw TD’s) and Kevin Smith suddenly looks like one of the league’s top backs. At receiver, Ward and Housh have struggled early on, but have recently started to look like themselves. However, he’s going to have trouble taking down a team with a great QB, as long as Smith is leading the Bruisers.
YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE THE CAUCASIANS – I still can’t figure out how they’re winning. Bush, Jones and Taylor have been good, but not great and Boldin and Moss have been as consistent as my producer’s notes. Manning helps though, even with the $29 price tag. Name one other QB who has touchdowns of 1-yard, 1-yard and 4-yards in a game. I keep waiting for the White Boys to fade like Marc’s hairline, but they somehow, some way keep finding ways to win.
DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE GOON SQUAD Like Herbies, they’re just sitting there, lurking, waiting to pop up…at any second. For the next few weeks, they’re going win a few, with scores that will barely register, but come week ten or eleven, they’re going to get Alexander back, Larry Johnson will be on a role, Chad Johnson will wake up and dominate, Gates will be the #1 tight end in the league, Chargers will continue to be a top-five defense, and Griff will be rotating his two QB’s (Carr and Grossman) perfectly and suddenly, they earn the top seed, everyone will be afraid, very, very afraid.
SCARING NO ONE MANHATTAN PROJECTS He’s got a lot of big names; Williams, Foster, Fitgerald, Holt and Cooley, but it is River Phillips putting up the only real, big numbers. In reality, the backs haven’t been that bad; especially McAllister and Taylor. He’s got two of the league’s best receivers, but Fitz is down and out. The talent is there, but I need to see the Projects put up back-to-back good games for be to see them doing anything in the post-season.
UNDERACHIEVING MING DYNASTY – No two running backs have been as hot and cold as these two. Look at these digits; Rudi: 208, 306, 72, 208, 70 and 158. Parker: 192, 24, 348, 192, 227 and 9. The pair are averaging over 195ppg, but the problem is they can’t seem to score that amount the same week. Even with all the problems at RB, it would be hard to find a more disappointing group of receivers; Chambers (Can’t produce 100 yards), Galloway (two games with zero catches) and Burress (two drops a game). Throw in the Jags DST who have been blown out by both the Redskins and Texans and Crumple who has average 80ppg and I still can’t figure out how I won three games so far. With a bench full of keeper potentials for ’07, I got nothing to offer. So I’m going to live with this starting lineup or die with it.
NOT AS GOOD AS THE RECORD INDICATES GATOR NATION – He’s got a new name and a solid 5-2 record. He may be getting lucky, but maybe he’s not so bad. He’s got a great QB (Bulger) and a backup (Favre) and two top receivers (Yes, Owens is starting to step up) and despite the game against the Falcons, a top defense. However, McGahee is just a decent back and Keyshawn’s numbers continue to drop. He should make the playoffs, but it’s hard to see him making a splash.
NOT AS BAD AS THE RECORD INDICATES THE FRANCHISE – So how’s that trade looking now? With Matt’s high score, everyone in his division has earned at least one. That may help explain the 1-6 start. He’s got one good back and the league’s best scoring defense and the Witten pick up fills a big hole (assuming Romo gets the start in Dallas). The receivers are too inconsistent and neither James and Droughns should be in anyone’s starting lineup and that will keep him from making the league’s greatest in-season turnaround.
GREAT STREAK COMING TO AN END DAVID THE PATRIOT – Although he’s certainly not out (only two games back), it’s tough to see Dave squeezing into the playoffs. It would be the first post-season without David EVER. What’s going wrong? Portis’s health, two Raven’s offensive players on his team, Heath Miller disappearing and Corey Dillon staying healthy. The two big positives have been Hasselback and Coles, but now Matt is out for three weeks. By then, Dave’s season may be over by then.
SAME OLD, SAME OLD CLASS OF ’07 – High hopes for Eric have been washed away already. He’s actually had great success from both Brady and Vick and both his tight ends (Smith and Winslow), but apparently, that’s not enough to win games. Although Ronnie Brown hasn’t been awful, Jordan has been the biggest disappointment of 2006. Add in the lack of a real second receiver, it’s tough to see Eric earning anything more than the #1 seed in 2007.
WEEK EIGHT
Burrier Bruisers 1310 at Manhattan Projects 855 Gator Nation 1191 at The Goon Squad 1520 Class of ’07 1326 at Molly Pop 1579 Ming Dynasty 1350 at Backstreet Boyz 1461 The Franchise 853 at David the Patriots 745 The Quarter Pounders 1409 at The Caucasians 1274
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Some quick thoughts before I head to work…
THE RICH GET RICHER Six teams are at least two games over .500, meaning it would take mega-collapses for them to miss the playoffs.
BEST START OVER With a victory over the Burrier Bruisers next week, Molly can become the first 8-1 team ever in Robioland and if both the Projects and Ming lose, she can clinch a playoff spot.
BYE-WEEK BLUNDERS Bob leaves Santana Moss in the game, despite his bye-week and it cost him. Instead of a 1-game lead over his divisional foes, he now sits in a three-way tie with Burrier and Don.
EASIER THAN HIS WIFE Griff appears to be coasting to another divisional title as the Projects, Dynasty and Class of ’07 ride two games, three games and four game losing streaks. With five weeks to play, he’s got a two-game lead.
UNLUCKIEST 6-2 TEAM EVER The whole point of the divisional shakeups was originally Jeff’s idea. Who knew it would take him from one tough division to another. Sadly for the Pounders, there’s a big difference between the 4th seed and the 1st. the first seed gets to play a team that barely scraps his way into the post-season. The 4th seed could end up facing the Backstreet Boyz (3rd in the league in scoring).
NEVER SATISFIED Despite the victory against Robio (only his second win in six tries), Masterson is still frustrated to know that Eric has overtaken him in opponent’s total points.
LOOK WHO’S COOMER Burrier has been hot, producing over 1,300 in three straight games. It appears he has finally shaken off that slow start. However, he’ll have two weeks to prove his worth with back-to-back games against the Coomers (Griff & Molly), combined record of 12-4.
SLIDE, BABY SLIDE It’s the slide that everyone has predicted, but with five wins already under his belt, it would take a miracle for Gator Nation to fall out of the playoff race. I’ll tell you what…Lundy would have looked real good in this lineup right now.
ONE PLAYOFF SPOT, THREE TEAMS The Manhattan Projects, the Ming Dynasty and the Franchise are all fighting for that final post-season spot…that’s right folks, the Franchise. After the 0-6 start, Matthew has won two straight and is only one game out of post-season play. Currently, Calderon sits in the 8th seed, despite the fact I have more total points. Because he beat me, he wins the tiebreaker (however, we do play again). For Matt, he leads me in total points by 53, but he lost to me in our only head-to-head match up. This week, Matt takes on Calderon, the losing team will be sitting out of the post next week and could go a long way in deciding who earns that final spot on the playoff couch.
HOW LOW CAN YOU GO? Yes, it has been an awful season for David and Eric. Yes, 1-7 seems like a lost cause. Trust me though, it’s not. In fact, you two are currently sitting only two games out of the final playoff spot. The best thing about it is…you two play each other this week! That’s right, the two 1-7 teams go head to head. The winner’s playoff hopes will remain alive. The loser, well, with the first pick in the 2007 draft…
As for the Pick Em’s, I was able to stretch my lead this week after a 19-point week, however, let’s all praise Masterson, becoming this season’s first perfect Pick Em…predicting all the games correctly, giving him 21 for the week.
WEEK NINE
Burrier Bruisers 1512 at Molly Pop 1285 Gator Nation 1613 at Backstreet Boyz 1320 Class of ’07 1479 at David the Patriots 937 Ming Dynasty 1986 at The Caucasians 1156 The Franchise 1010 at Manhattan Projects 1222 The Quarter Pounders 1371 at The Goon Squad 886
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
MOLLY POP – Hanging on to the top spot and total points lead by a thread, with Jeff & Colby riding her ass…I just got an idea for a great porn.
QUARTER POUNDERS – Only once in league history has two teams been 7-2 and in the same division, that was in 2000 (Robio Murray & Justin Hanright). Justin dropped five in a row, losing in the first round. Robio ended up champion. The difference this year is these two are one/two in scoring. Only one can win the division, but they could end up facing each other in the title game. With their 6th straight win though, the Pounders are tied for 5th longest streak (The record is 12).
GATOR NATION – It’s time I finally give props to the Nation, but it might be short-lived. McGahee is out and if Don’s options at running back are looking thin right now.
BURRIER BRUISERS – The four straight wins are impressive, but without a QB, you’re still only the 6th best scoring team in the league.
BACKSTREET BOYZ – Despite the loss, you broke 1,300 for the third straight game, but winning the division will be virtually impossible, down by two games to two teams with four games to go.
THE GOON SQUAD – Yeah, you’re first in the division. Yeah, Larry Johnson is coming back, but if Alexander doesn’t come back soon, the Goons will be fighting for a playoff spot. BTW, remember how I kept predicting in my mock drafts that Griff would take Hines Ward in the 2nd rd to save some cash and still have a good receiver? Well, Griff spent the $$$ on Chad Johnson, who is the 27th ranked receiver, 15 spots behind (much cheaper) Hines Ward.
MING DYNASTY – I came up 14 points shy of the first 2,000-pt game in two years and I go from 9th in the league in scoring to fifth. More importantly, it ends a 3-game skid, putting me only one game behind the Goons for the division.
THE CAUCASIANS – For the second in four years, Bob’s 5-1 start has disappeared. The last time in 2003, Bob fell all the way out of the playoffs. Will it happen again? My guess is, probably not. The Whitey’s have scored over 1,000 in every game this year (longest active streak) and their next two opponents are a combined 3-15.
MANHATTAN PROJECTS – You get to keep the 8th seed with your win over the Franchise, but where is the greatness I expected from a Calderon team. With all the bye-weeks finally over, the Vikings DST is the only player you have currently ranked in the top five of their respective division.
THE FRANCHISE – Now we’re talking about the league’s bottom feeders. You’re sitting two games back of the final playoff spot and worse yet, you lose out in head-to-head tiebreaker to both Robio and Calderon. You’re going to need to win the rest of your games this season and pray for both Bob and Masterson to collapse.
CLASS OF ’07 – Like Matt above, you’re two games out, losing tiebreakers to both Robio and Calderon…but unlike Matt, you’ll get to face us both again. If you can beat Calderon down the stretch, you currently lead in him total points.
DAVID THE PATRIOT – Wow, what a shitty season. One win, dead last in total points, Dave has failed to break 1,000 five times this season, including three straight. How embarrassed should the Manhattan Projects be for being your sole victim.
WEEK TEN
The Goon Squad 1494 at Burrier Bruisers 1515 Manhattan Projects 1019 at Gator Nation 745 Backstreet Boyz 1628 at Class of ’07 793 Molly Pop 1232 at Ming Dynasty 1841 The Caucasians 1285 at The Franchise 1093 David the Patriots 1116 at The Quarter Pounders 1493
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
NON-DIVISION RECORDS MANHATTAN DIVISION (Goons, Ming, Projects, ’07) went a combined 11-16 BROOKLYN DIVISION (Burrier, Gator, Caucasians, David) went a combined 13-14 JERSEY DIVISION (Molly, Pounders, Boy, Franchise) went a combined 17-11
#1 SEED – QUARTER POUNDERS (8-2) With their 7th straight win, Colby/Jeff are tied with Rick for the 4th longest winning streak in league history, one behind Bob (’04), two back of Jason (’01) and five back of Robio’s 12-straight (’99-00). There’s little doubt that the Pounders are probably the team to beat; they got the top QB, a top five running back, the third best receiver (Wayne) and Smith (who is in the top fifteen despite missing two games). Let’s not forget the 5th best TE, the top kicker and two of the top four defenses. They can be beaten, but you better score over 1,500 to do it.
#2 SEED – BURRIER BRUISERS (7-3) Who needs a QB, right? It’s hard to argue that Burrier hasn’t been the best team over the past five weeks. I’m sure he’s told us about thirty-five times on the message board. He’s scored over 1,300 five straight times and over 1,500 in three of those games. More importantly, he’s on top of his division. If he can hold onto it, he’ll become only the second team to ever win his division in four straight years (Robio won five in a row).
#3 SEED – MING DYNASTY (5-5) Thanks to Burrier’s win over the Goons, he created a three-way tie in the Manhattan Projects. Griff, Rich and I are all 5-5, I beat Griff, Griff beat Rich and Rich beat me. We’re all 2-1 in the division, so the tiebreaker goes to total points, which I currently lead thanks to my 3,827 total points over the past two weeks; pretty impressive, but not the best. Here’s the best two-game stretch in league history
#1 Robio 4,240 (’99), #2 Robio 4,144 (’99), #3 Jason 4,083 (’00), #4 Robio 4,000 (’99), #5 Rich B. 3,963 (’05), #6 Robio 3,920 (’02), #7 Robio 3,890 (’99) and #8 Robio 3,827 (’06).
#4 SEED – MOLLY POP (7-3) Two defeats in a row drops Molly to the 4th seed, a place she’d rather not be and she should be concerned about Dunn, who’s rushed for over 100 yards only once in the past seven weeks. If she can turn this back around, we could have one of the best regular season match ups in the final week when you face off with the Pounders…the game could decide the division and possibility the top seed.
#5 SEED – BACKSTREET BOYZ (6-4) With six wins under Rob’s belt, one more should do it. But that might be one tough win now that you’re back in the division. Rob faces the league’s two best teams over the next two weeks and Matt won’t be a walk in the park in week thirteen. Of all the teams that are sitting in the 5th to 10th spot, Rob has the toughest schedule, but with his total points, he should be able to win out any total point tiebreaker if it comes down to that. However, if he wins one more, he’s almost certainly in.
#6 SEED – THE CAUCASIANS (6-4) A needed win to end the losing streak and now that he’s back in the division, it should only be a matter of time before Bob/Marc are into the playoffs. He’s got one tough one against Burrier, which should be for the division, but too winnable games against David and Don, who’s a couple running backs short.
#7 SEED – GATOR NATION: Six days to save his season. That’s it. With McGahee out for at least two more weeks, Don has six days to trade for a running back. If he doesn’t pull out a trade, he’ll be lucky to win another game in the regular season, thus, missing the playoffs (maybe). In reality, Don only needs one more win probably to get in, in which time, McGahee will be back.
#8 SEED – GOON SQUAD: Thanks to one defeat to Burrier, Griff falls from the 3rd seed to the 8th seed. It’s been a tough year for the defending champ, thanks to Alexander’s injury (Imagine Burrier with Tomlinson or the Pounders without Tiki). The good news is, Alexander should be back next week, just in time for divisional play and just in time to face off with the Projects, a fight for the 8th seed…or the 3rd seed. If I lose to Eric next week, the winner of this game would be the third seed.
OUTTA OF THE PLAYOFFS: #9 – Manhattan Projects: One of the worst scoring teams in the league finally sits out of the playoffs, but for how long? Next week’s game against the Goons will tell us a lot about where Calderon is headed. A win (and a Robio loss) would put Calderon in the 3rd seed, up one game. If he loses (and Robio win), the Projects would sit a game behind both Robio and Griff.
#10 THE FRANCHISE: It was a valiant effort after the 0-6 start. Matt didn’t sit on his hands, he made the trades, but it just wouldn’t work out for him. It’s simple though, as James’ season and career flopped in the desert, so did Matt’s season. The Edge hasn’t broken 100 yards rushing this season. With Tatum Bell in the 5th, you got one good keeper for 2007.
#11 CLASS OF ’07: I was wrong on Sunday night. There is no way Eric can make the playoffs. Let me explain. Eric is three games behind Griff, Calderon and myself. Even if he wins his final three, Eric would have five wins. However, between Griff, Calderon and myself, two of us will get at least one win because we all face each other. There is no way to get in. Sorry, E.
#12 DAVID THE PATRIOT: Let’s take a look at 2007. Unless he finds a way to win two of his final three, Dave will earn the top pick in the draft (a first for him). We have to assume that Griff will be keeping Larry Johnson next season, so Alexander will be the top pick in next season’s draft. Add in Maroney as a keeper and Dave will have a solid one/two running back combo.
QUICK NOTE: Like I said, teams eliminated from the playoffs (Dave, Eric and Matt) can still make trades over the next six days like the rest of us, however, the trade must benefit your team next season in some way (i.e. possible keeper). You won’t be allowed to just trade players to other teams for the heck of it. I reserve the right to veto any trade.
WEEK ELEVEN
Burrier Bruisers 1165 at Gator Nation 812 David the Patriots 1148 at The Caucasians 1195 Ming Dynasty 1611 at Class of ’07 1074 The Goon Squad 1430 at Manhattan Projects 898 The Quarter Pounders 1054 at The Franchise 847 Backstreet Boyz 1121 at Molly Pop 1179
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
#1 SEED – QUARTER POUNDERS (9-2) It was a win and the last time I checked, a win is a win, but now it all comes down to who steps in at QB for the Pounders. If I was the Pounders, I’d pick up every available QB and just play the best guy each and every week. With two weeks to go. Go luck, I know that nobody is rooting for you.
#2 SEED – BURRIER BRUISERS (8-3) It was kind of funny to Burrier call the Pounders a one-player wonder. If I didn’t know better, this was the Tomlinson Bruisers. Let’s look at the numbers. What percentage of Rich’s offense is Tomlinson? Wk 1 – 41%, Wk 2 – 30%, Wk 3 – Bye Week, Wk 4 – 20%, Wk 5 – 10%, Wk 6 – 28%, Wk 7 – 21%, Wk 8 – 46%, Wk 9 – 35%, Wk 10 – 33%, Wk 11 – 48%. LT has produced an amazing 500 points or better in four straight games, but this isn’t really something new. Burrier has been riding LT since he ‘earned’ the top pick four years ago. Don’t blame me people, I voted against the keepers.
#3 SEED – THE MING DYNASTY (6-5) You’re going to have to overlook the 6-5 record, because after earning my third straight high scoring week, I’ve earned this third seed. Back in week eight, I was ninth in the league in scoring; this week I’m currently second. The irony is, I could easily not make the playoffs if I fail to win one of my last two games.
#4 SEED – MOLLY POP (8-3) You needed a big win against a good team after dropping two straight and your boys delivered. This win puts you back into the playoffs. Who would have imagined that going into the playoffs, that the Gore/Colston combo would be one that everyone fears? However, keep an eye on Westbrook, with McNabb down, defense will be focusing on the little scat back.
#5 SEED – THE CAUCASIANS (7-4) The white boys haven’t broken 1,300 in four straight games, but they’ve still manage to knock out two wins. In fact, they got seven wins despite the fact they haven’t scored at least 1,500 once this season. What the hell is going on? Well, the Caucasians have turned out to be the workmen we all thought Eric’s team was going to be. They are one of only two teams to not scores below 1,000. In fact, they scored under 1,100 once one this season.
#6 SEED – THE GOON SQUAD (6-5) They got Alexander back, but he wasn’t a big help. It didn’t matter though because the Goons have scored back-to-back1,400 point games. Currently, Griff sits ahead of the two other 6-5 teams, because he’s beaten them both in head-to-head match ups. For Griff, Shaun’s got two weeks to work out the kinks. If he can get back to the Alexander we all know and love, Griff could be a force in the playoffs.
#7 GATOR NATION (6-5) What the hell? A week after Mike Bell, sitting deep in Mikey’s doghouse, doesn’t get a carry, he busts out for 290 fantasy points. It wouldn’t have matter in this game, you still would have lost, but you better hope that this game wasn’t a fluke. You passed on possible trades to land a running back and if you continue to struggle, you could fall out of the playoffs.
#8 BACKSTREET BOYZ (6-5) Well, you didn’t want to be the 5th seed and now you’re not. You currently sit in the 8th spot because you’ve lost both of your head-to-head games to the other 6-5 teams. Should you be worried? Maybe a little. You would also lose in a head-to-head match up if Calderon was involved (You’ve lost to all three). However, if you can somehow eliminate the head-to-head tiebreaker, you would dominate in total points.
MISSING ALL THE FUN:
#9 MANHATTAN PROJECTS (5-6) Despite the defeat, you’re still in the drivers seat in a way. Let me explain. If you can win next week, then your last game against Eric, will basically decide whether you’re in or out. Because you beat me once, you would win the head-to-head match up.
LOOKING AHEAD TILL NEXT WEEK Remember, we have three Thursday night games, so make sure all your FA pick ups are in and your lineups are set (if they play on Thanksgiving) by Thursday.
GAME OF THE WEEK (6-5) Ming Dynasty vs. (6-5) Manhattan Projects…If I win, I’m in the playoffs. If the Projects lose and Backstreet, Gators and Griff win, then Calderon is out. Robio’s team is hot, hot, hot. Rich’s team is not, not, not.
(6-5) Backstreet Boyz vs. (9-2) Quarter Pounders…if QB wins and Molly loses, the division and top seed belongs to them. If the Boyz lose, the Projects win, Griff loses and Don wins, the Boyz would be sitting out of the playoffs. However, the Pounders are in the post-McNabb era and look for it to be a rough start.
(8-3) Burrier Bruisers vs. (1-10) David the Patriots…if Rich wins and the Caucasians loses, Burrier wins his 4th straight divisional title. If Burrier thought his game against Gator Nation was easy, wait until he faces Dave.
(6-5) Gator Nation vs. (7-4) The Caucasians…and win and the Caucasians are in. Gator needs to ‘W’ to stay in the playoffs. A defeat doesn’t necessarily put him out, but do yourself a favor and win. Sorry, Donnie, not enough pieces right now, the whitey’s win.
(2-9) The Franchise vs. (8-3) Molly Pop…Molly needs the win to set up a huge match against the Pounders in the final week; the winner takes the division. Matt’s team is too beaten up to really threaten Molly.
(6-5) The Goon Squad vs. (2-9) Class of ’07…Griff needs a win to set up a division deciding game against Robio the following week. The Goon’s are improving, but don’t doubt Eric, he has the pieces to pull off one more upset.
WEEK TWELVE
Burrier Bruisers 1513 at David the Patriots 1211 Gator Nation 793 at The Caucasians 1035 Ming Dynasty 1123 at Manhattan Projects 2097 Class of ’07 1167 at The Goon Squad 1634 The Franchise 711 at Molly Pop 1504 The Quarter Pounders 1018 at Backstreet Boyz 1902
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
MANHATTAN PROJECTS HAVE BEATEN THE MING DYNASTY Robio’s amazing three-game run comes to and end, thanks to a record setting performance from Calderon’s boys. Rich still has a kicker, so he should easily become this year’s first 2,000 point game. Nice how Rich’s two biggest games have been against poor me. This victory nearly wraps up the Projects playoff invitation (read below).
BURRIER BRUISERS HAVE BEATEN DAVID THE PATRIOT Dave put up a fight, but Burrier proves to be too much yet again. With his 7th straight win (now the league’s longest current streak), Burrier sets up a winner takes all for the division against Bobby next week.
THE CAUCASIANS WILL BEAT GATOR NATION The Nation continues to fall, while the Caucasians will pull off a third straight game, setting up a rematch with Burrier. For Don, he lost another one, but thanks to Calderon taking down Robio, Gator Nation’s playoff hopes are looking brighter…sort of (read below).
THE GOON SQUAD SHOULD HOLD OVER CLASS OF ’07 Thanks to Calderon’s win over Robio, Griff is now in the playoffs (according to my math). Eric could still comeback, but it’s doubtful. If Griff does hold on, then next week’s match up of Robio vs Griff is for the division.
MOLLY POP HAVE BEATEN THE FRANCHISE Taking down Matt was the easy part, but thanks to Rob taking down the Pounders, she regains the divisional lead. Next week’s match up with the QP’s will decide a lot.
BACKSTREET BOYZ HAVE BEATEN THE QUARTER POUNDERS Thanks to Molly’s win, Rob can’t win the division, but his 1,600+ day might be enough to put him in the lead in total points.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY ** In the playoffs * Out of the playoffs
#1 Burrier Bruisers (9-3)** #2 Molly Pop (9-3)** #3 The Goon Squad (7-5)** #4 Quarter Pounders (9-3)** #5 The Caucasians (8-4)** #6 Backstreet Boyz (7-5)** #7 Manhattan Projects (6-6) #8 Gator Nations (6-6)
JUST MISSING THE FUN: #9 Ming Dynasty (6-6)
With one game left, I can finally tell you what needs to happen to clear up this playoff confusions.
First, who’s in? Burrier Bruisers, Molly Pop, Quarter Pounders, Backstreet Boyz, The Caucasians and the Goon Squad are all in.
Second, who’s out? David the Patriot, Class of ’07 and the Franchise
So basically the final playoff spot comes down to Ming, the Projects and the Gators, but this is where it gets strange. Even though Don currently sits in the playoffs, he does not control his own destiny. Let me explain, but first, remember the tiebreakers below:
FOR THE DIVISION: 1st Tiebreaker is head-to-head 2nd tiebreaker is divisional record 3rd tiebreaker is total points
FOR PLAYOFF SPOT 1sr Tiebreaker is head-to-head 2nd Tiebreaker is total points
Okay, let me explain. Because Don beat me in our head-to-head match up, you would think that all he has to do is win. However, the first things that must be decided are divisions and I can still win our division.
RICH First thing first; if Rich beats Eric next week, the Manhattan Projects are in the playoffs, no matter what. For Rich, the only way to miss the playoffs is if I win and Don wins, then he would be out.
If I beat Griff next week, I would win our division and I would be in the playoffs; whether Rich wins or not. If Rich loses, I win it because I would have the head-to-head tiebreaker over Griff. However, if Rich wins, then head-to-head wouldn’t matter because Griff beat him twice, Rich beat me twice and I would have beaten Griff twice. We would also all be 4-2 in the division, so that wouldn’t matter. Thus, the tiebreaker would be total points, which I would win easily.
DON For Don, it comes down to me because of the head-to-head tiebreakers. He has the tiebreaker against me, but loses out to both Griff and the Projects. If I win and Don loses, then Don is out. If I win and Don wins and Rich wins, Don is out because he would be tied at 6-7 with Rich and he lost their head-to-head match up. If I win and Don wins and Rich loses to Eric, Don would be in; Rich would be out. If Don loses and Rich loses, then Don would be out.
ROBIO For me, the Robio, if I win, I’m in. But if I want to keep it simple for everyone…if I lose, then I’m out and Don and Calderon are in. AS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, NO ONE HAS WON A DIVISION YET. AMAZING…
Burrier Bruisers will take on the Caucasians for their division: If Burrier wins and Molly wins next week, Burrier earns his first top seed. If the Pounders beat Molly, Rich will be the 2nd seed for the third year in a row. If Burrier loses, at best he could be the 4th seed If the Caucasians win, they will earn the 2nd seed. If they lose, they will probably end up the 6th seed.
Molly Pop takes on the Quarter Pounders for the division: If Molly wins next week, she wins the division. If Burrier wins, Molly gets the 2nd seed. If Burrier loses, Molly would earn the 1st seed. If Molly loses, she’ll probably end up the 4th or 5th seed.
The Goon Squad vs. the Ming Dynasty We know about me, but if Griff wins, he’ll win the division and earn the 3rd seed. If he loses, he could fall as far back as the 7th seed
WEEK THIRTEEN
David the Patriots 936 at Gator Nation 1243 The Caucasians 1095 at Burrier Bruisers 1258 Manhattan Projects 1116 at Class of ’07 1139 The Goon Squad 1115 at Ming Dynasty 1205 Molly Pop 1326 at The Quarter Pounders 746 Backstreet Boyz 933 at The Franchise 1144
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
ROBIOLAND’S PLAYOFF PICTURE: I’ve ranked the teams based on the team I think has the best shot to win it all. (BTW: If any of you guys who didn’t make the playoffs want to offer up some playoff predictions, go for it)
#1 MOLLY POP (10-3, Division Winner, 2nd Seed) WHY SHE WILL WIN? When the only flaw on her team is the tight end, then she’s going to be tough to beat. She’s got not one, but two solid running backs; including breakout player of the year Frank Gore. With Colston back next week (probably), she’ll also have one of the best receiving duo, not to mention the league’s best defense. WHY SHE WILL LOSE? Eli Manning has been awful, failing to break 200 in five straight contests. However, Eli found his groove last night against the Boys. If he can keep it going, then Peyton’s li’ bro won’t be such a liability. BY THE NUMBERS: Molly enters the playoffs as the league’s highest scoring team, but is that such a good think? The top scoring team had fallen in the first round in three-straight seasons (2002-04), until Griff snapped the streak last season, winning it all.
#2 THE GOON SQUAD (7-6, 6th Seed) WHY HE WILL WIN? For the first time this season, the greatest running back combo in league history is finally healthy and finally playing good. A bad game for these two is what most running backs would hope to average. WHY HE WILL LOSE? One lousy Florida Gator QB playing for the Bears. He’s had negative numbers three times this year. That’s unheard of in fantasy football unless you’re the Packers defense. The worst part is he’s getting worse; his last three: 145, -54 and –145. BY THE NUMBERS: Griff has never lost in the first round (6-0) and has only lost once in the semi-finals (5-1). Also, sitting as a 6th seed isn’t such a bad thing. In fact, the 6th seed is 4-3 in the first round.
#3 BURRIER BRUISERS (10-3, Division Winner, 1st Seed) WHY HE WILL WIN? Uh gee, I wonder. L.T., Mr. Tomlinson is averaging 308.1 points per game. That’s more points than eight teams total points from BOTH their running backs. WHY HE WILL LOSE? Assuming Ward will miss one more game, how long can a team really keep winning with names like Leinart, Barber (The other one) and Wes Walker. BY THE NUMBERS: After winning his first title in 2002, Burrier has failed to escape the first round. The top seed has won the title only two times in seven years and have lost in the first round in two of the last three years.
#4 BACKSTREET BOYZ (7-6, 8TH Seed) WHY HE WILL WIN? Palmer, Jackson and the Ravens DST are the best triple threat in the league, not to mention two top ten receivers. Forget the record and forget this last game, Rob’s team can score with the best of them. Remember, if he had Burrier’s schedule, he’d be 12-2 entering the playoffs. WHY HE WILL LOSE? A sudden hole at the second running back spot has opened up. Addai had a great game, but is he consistent enough and Jones numbers have fallen off dramatically. BY THE NUMBERS: This is the second time in league history, the 8th seed has outscored the #1 seed.
#5 THE MING DYNASTY (7-6, Division Winner, 3rd Seed) WHY I WILL WIN? Consistency, consistency, consistency. With the exception of Brees, my cast of characters produce just enough to win. You can’t have a bad game against me, hoping to get a lucky W. WHY I WILL LOSE? No stars, no studs. The same reason why I could win a game or two, is the same reason why I won’t win the title. Except for one three-week stretch in the second half of the season, too many players have failed to show up on any given week. BY THE NUMBERS: I have scored over 1,500 points in my last six playoff games, but I’ve only won four of the six.
#6 THE CAUCASIANS (8-5, 5TH Seed) WHY HE WILL WIN? Lady luck is on his side. How else do you explain it? He’s got Peyton, the top QB, but the rest of his boys aren’t great. They’re okay, but that’s about it. Thomas Jones is losing carries to Benson, Taylor is losing touches to Drew, the Falcons have failed to break 100 in five of their last eight. Branch hasn’t broken 100 in three of his last four and Boldin has only broken 200 three times this season…yet, he keeps winning and I can’t argue with that. WHY HE WILL LOSE? (Read all of the above info and stats, minus the luck part) BY THE NUMBERS: This is actually my favorite stat of the year so far. Bob is the only team to score over 1,000 points in every game this season. However, he has never scored over 1,500 in any of those games.
#7 QUARTER POUNDERS (9-4, 4th Seed) WHY HE WILL WIN? The stars are still there in Barber, Smith & Wayne; not to mention the solid DST combo of the Jags/Cowboys. Sure Barber never scores anymore, but these guys can all put up 300+ on any given day. WHY HE WILL LOSE? The Pounders got plenty of available arms on their roster, but so far, so not good. The Pounders don’t need big numbers from the QB, but getting just a little has been a problem so far. It is just a shame, really. Four weeks ago, the Pounders were the team to beat…now I don’t see them escaping the first round. BY THE NUMBERS: The Quarter Pounders have failed to break 1,100 since McNabb’s injury (three games).
#8 GATOR NATION (7-6, 7TH Seed) WHY HE WILL WIN? If the Florida Gators can get voted into the BCS title game, then Don can win the Robioland title game. Is it just me or is it ironic that the Gators were bitching about Michigan getting a possible rematch, calling it unfair, when they themselves won their only title in 1996 against FSU in a rematch, a year in which they lost their final regular season game on the road, to FSU, by three points? I guess having a conference title game doesn’t hurt. WHY HE WILL LOSE? I’m sorry, that was mean. I’m just a bitter Hurricane fan, watching my team’s coaching job being rejected by a coach who would rather coach at Rutgers. Anyhow, Don only has one running back and he’s the lowest scoring team among the playoff teams, so that’s why Don won’t win. BY THE NUMBERS: Don is 0-3 in the playoffs, never escaping the first round.
QUARTER FINALS
Burrier Bruisers 917 at Backstreet Boyz 1452 The Quarter Pounders 781 at The Caucasians 1373 Ming Dynasty 1848 at The Goon Squad 1364 Molly Pop 1296 at Gator Nation 1499
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Every year I always think about changing the playoffs from eight teams to six (giving the top two seeds bye-weeks), but in the end, I never change it. I like the idea that almost every team is battling for a playoff spot in the final weeks (this season was the exception). Although a 6-team playoff may be good for some leagues, I’m going to stick to the 8-team system. It kind of reminds me of the NCAA Basketball tournament. Its fun to see teams like Kansas (Burrier) getting knocked out in the first round year after year. You have to love when the best teams almost always come up short like Duke (Griff). It’s fun to see the George Mason’s (Don) find a way to get to the final four. So there you have it. Let’s take a quick look ahead.
#8 Backstreet Boyz vs. #3 The Ming Dynasty Rob vs. Rob…bring it. This may be unfair for the other game, but this is the big match up of the week; dare I say, de facto title game. In one corner, you got the 2nd highest scoring team and in the other, you got the 3rd highest scoring team. Both teams are so evenly matched, as I currently sit with a solid 1-pt advantage in the guru’s eyes. Masterson became the third 8th seed to knockout a number one seed, however, neither of the other two managed to make it to the finals.
#7 Gator Nation vs. #5 The Caucasians Both teams sat in the bottom half of the bracket, but one of them will be sitting in the title game next week. For Don, it was his first playoff win after five long years. For Bob, he has never lost in the playoffs (4-0). Bob entered the playoffs as the 7th highest scoring team in the league, but he’s coming into the semis hot, hot, hot…winning four of his last five. Don came into post-season play as the 9th scoring team, but he’s won back-to-back games after dropping five of six, nearly missing the playoffs. Don’s getting 46 points from the guru, but he might need more. Bob’s got one hot rookie (Bush) and a pissed out Manning back in the Dome against the Bengals.
PAST WEEK:
#3 MING DYNASTY HAS BEATEN #6 THE GOON SQUAD One amazing streak ends, while one amazing streak continues. Despite scoring a decent 1,364 in round one, Griff is outta here, dropping a third game to Robio this season. For Griff, this was his first defeat in the first round (6-1). Also, he now falls to 0-4 against Robio in the post-season. With both Alexander and Johnson sitting on his roster at the beginning of the season, finishing 7-7 for the season has too big one of the huge disappointments in league history. Too many injuries and inconsistent play from the QB spot, cost Griff his back-to-back titles. For myself, I’ve not scored over 1,500 in seven straight playoff games, dating back to 2002. With 1848 this week, this means I’m going to knockout only 900 next week, right?
#8 BACKSTREET BOYZ HAS BEATEN #1 BURRIER BRUISERS Gee, is anyone surprised, Burrier lost in the first round. Without a doubt, Rich has become the current Yankees of fantasy football. After winning his only title in 2003, he has lost in the first round in each of the last three seasons, despite always being the higher seed. Rich’s luck had to run out eventually. Tomlinson had another solid game, but the two backups in his lineup (Barber. Welker) produced an impressive –6 combined points. For Rob, he upsets a higher seed for the third time in his career. However, he was the 3rd highest scoring team in the league, so how much of an upset is it? Next week, he’ll face the other Rob, setting up a semi-final battle between the 2nd and 3rd highest scoring teams this season.
#5 THE CAUCASIANS WILL BEAT #4 THE QUARTER POUNDERS For Jeff & Colby, when McNabb went down, so did their season. After winning an amazing eight games in a row this season, the Pounders dropped their last three. With Barber retiring and Steve Smith costing them a 1st round pick next season, the Pounders will have to tear it all up and start over fresh next season. For the Caucasians, Bob moves to 4-0 in the post-season in his career. He’ll be the favorite next week if Don can hold off Molly. He’s knocked off Don twice this season already.
#7 GATOR NATION & #2 MOLLY POP ARE ABOUT EVEN Don’s got a solid 327-pt lead, but Molly has Da Bears defense and Jeff Wilkins tomorrow. Now these two average about 373ppg and the guru predicted they would score 356 points, so Molly should be able to pull it out. However, she should worry. Despite the fact the Rams offense has been awful lately, the Bears don’t dominate on the road and don’t look for them to dominate in the doom. Your guess is as good as mine. If Don can win though, it would be the second year in a row that three lower seeds won a game.
SEMI FINALS
Backstreet Boyz 1073 at Ming Dynasty 1464 Gator Nation 1211 at The Caucasians 1007
GATOR NATION A Vozzola in the finals…what is this world coming to? Donald was able to hold off a late Monday rally from Bobby moving him within one game of a championship. Yeah I know, it’s weird just to write that. It’s been a weird wild ride. With his top pick going down in the pre-season, Don went the whole season with three wide receivers, quickly dropping him to the bottom of everyone’s prediction’s lists. It was supposed to all fall apart when T.O. got hurt/tried to kill himself/threw a tantrum about his coach, but it didn’t and before we knew it, Don was 5-1. Then Don started to fall to earth, losing week after week, yet he still sat in the playoff picture. Not even losing his only running back, Willie McGahee could derail the Gators. Despite losing five of his last six, Don snuck into the playoffs as the 7th seed. Entering the playoffs as the 9th highest scoring team, Donnie is no doubt the George Mason of Robioland, but unlike last year’s Final Four Cinderella, Don’s got a legit shot to win it all, thanks to some favorable match ups this weekend. DID YOU KNOW? Don’s 1,162ppg this season is the lowest of any team playing in the finals.
MING DYNASTY As for myself, this is old news, although it has been four years since I’ve been in the title game. I come out of the gate slow, look like shit for a while and then turn it on late…but this time I didn’t come up limp in the post-season. If I can pull this win out of the bag, it would be my 4th title in eight years, which means the dynasty is still going strong. Right now my team is hot, winners of six of my last seven…my only loss coming when Calderon pulled two grand out of his ass. DID YOU KNOW? I only scored 1,492 last game, ending my streak of seven straight 1,500-pt games in the playoffs. Don and I have faced off once this season. The Gators crushed the Dynasty 1,668-1,136. It was one of the three times my opponent had the high score of the week.
LOOKING AHEAD I got the QB and backs, Don’s got the receivers and a couple good match ups. Look for both teams to crack 1,300, but I’d have to give myself a slight advantage for now.
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Gator Nation 1617 at Ming Dynasty 844
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS The title changes hands this year, but it will stay in Florida. Don proves that no matter what, anyone can win three games in a row. You have to actually give the Donald some credit. He didn’t stick to his guns…he rotated in Sammy Morris first, then Ron Dayne this week, with help lead him to his first championship.
For me, my boys simple didn’t show up. Brees was a no-show, Parker had negative points and Burress had one catch. Anyhow, congrats Don…I’m currently working off a slow-ass AOL phone line, so I’ll write more when I return home Tuesday.
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