WEEK ONE
Bob’s Bootylicious 1226 at Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 639 David the Patriots 1310 at Robio’s Hurricanes 1041 Gang Greenblatt 1439 at Backstreet Boyz 1495 Manhattan Projects 1542 at The Burrier Bruisers 1762 Don’s Gators 603 at Eric’s Dolphins 960 Griff’s Stoners 1657 at Molly Pop 906
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
BURRIER – Good time to have your highest scoring game ever.
CALDERON – Didn’t I tell you this would be the highest scoring game of the week? Sadly, you would have beaten nine other teams.
ROB M – Over 1,500 points for the “ninth best” team in the league, not bad.
JEFF – Yeah you lost, but one amazing stat for you…four of the top five scores this week came from your division.
ERIC – I said this would be the lowest scoring game of the week and it was. It was an ugly win, but a win is a win.
DON – Just missed being the tenth lowest single game score in league history. How the hell does Dunn outscore Faulk…oh yeah, Martz.
BOB – Could dominate if this division is as bad as it looked this week.
MATT – Welcome to the league body. It’s never too early to start thinking about the first pick in next year’s draft.
ROBIO – Another fantasy season…another opening day lost. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
DAVID – The man’s got Robio’s number. Your five wins is the most agaInst the Robio.
WEEK TWO
Molly Pop 1077 at Eric’s Dolphins 814 Griff’s Stoners 692 at Don’s Gators 505 The Burrier Bruisers 1084 at Backstreet Boyz 1791 Manhattan Projects 1467 at Gang Greenblatt 1281 Robio’s Hurricanes 984 at Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1709 David the Patriots 1386 at Bob’s Bootylicious 962
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
ROBIO: History of Robio’s starts: 3-3, 5-1. 1-4, 2-5 and now 0-2…the best part is knowing I had a defense that scored 615 sitting on the bench.
MATT: Example of how to win…when you have a player who scores over 600 points (Lewis 650) play him.
MASTERSON: The Colt’s Defense is the best in the league. There are no others. Anyone who has the Colt’s Defense on your roster will surely win a championship…happy?
BURRIER: Is this the really Burrier team or was this a fluke week? Let’s give it one more week before we judge Rich.
CALDERON: Nice game by Jeff’s first round pick. Sort of glad you won, I don’t like when the teams I pick to win it all, start 0-2.
JEFF: Look on the bright side you’re easily the best 0-2 team in the league.
DAVID: Michael Vick who? Scary this team will get better when Vick comes back?
BOB: Only one player scored over 200 points….not going to win too many games that way…unless you’re playing my Uncle Don.
DON: Speaking of Don, 1,114’s in two games is an all-time low. Enough said.
GRIFF: You got to love it when you play your worst career game and still win!
MOLLY: With Molly and Griff sitting at one, two in the division, I think I should change the name of the league to the Coomer Division
ERIC: 72% of your points came from two guys (Gardner and Williams). That’s not going to get it done.
WEEK THREE
Bob’s Bootylicious 1044 at Robio’s Hurricanes 861 David the Patriots 1471 at Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1135 Gang Greenblatt 1128 at The Burrier Bruisers 1555 Backstreet Boyz 1503 at Manhattan Projects 1391 Don’s Gators 263 at Molly Pop 494 Eric’s Dolphins 767 at Griff’s Stoners 1118
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
DON: To think it couldn’t get any worse…and then it did. In the first week of the first season four years ago, Robio stumbled out of the gate with an unbeatable 280-point game…that is until Don came along. Don’s 268 is the lowest single score of all-time. (Check below for top ten in this category)
MOLLY: Oh Molly, you’re not getting off that easy. Yes, it was a ‘W’ and in the end that’s all that matters, but Molly has also entered the record books. Write it down: Molly and Don’s combine score 757 points is a new league record. (Check below for top ten in this category)
ROBIO: In my other league I’m 3-0 with the high score each week. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing. It might take a miracle to turn this mother around. The truly sad part about this is if I played my backup defense rather then my starting defense each week, I’d be 3-0.
MATT: All right, you won more games then I thought you would…but the true test comes the next three weeks. Your next three opponents are a combined 8-1.
BOB: Not quite sure what to say about this team. He beat the weaklings up but got smacked around by the division leader. Can you say .500?
DAVID: Impressive 3-0 start. Yeah, the division isn’t that strong, but he’s scored over 1,300 points in each game. Scary thought of the week: He gets Michael Vick back in a few weeks.
ERIC: How the heck did this team win one game? Oh yeah, he played Don. I usually save my stats for Thursday’s predictions but I have to throw this one out. Prior to this season only four teams in league history have failed to average 1,000ppg in their first three games. This division alone has three teams that failed to break 1,000ppg. (Molly: 826, Eric: 847, Don: 457)
GRIFF: The rich just keep getting richer. All the 2-0 teams improved to 3-0 while all 0-2 fell to 0-3. Now I’m not one to burst anyone’s bubble, but not a single one of Griff’s opponents has managed to break 1,000. Weeks 8-11 should be the true test when Griff goes up against the four members of the Daddy Mac Division.
ROB, RICH, RICH, and JEFF Now I don’t normally group teams together, but I know you guys feel under appreciated. So I figured I’d give you props together. Now recently you guys have been bragging about being the toughest division in football…so I figured I’d check it out, because the numbers never lie.
Over the first three weeks of the season, you four have scored a combined 17,438 points. That’s an average of 1,453 points a game. The previous record over the first three weeks was 17, 297 (1,441ppg). So yes, this is the toughest division in the history of the league after three weeks. Rob Masterson’s 1,596 average is tops in the league. The highest season average is 1,558.
Now here comes the bad news. You may be thinking that because you’re in the highest scoring division, this means you’re going to sweep over the rest of the teams. Well, history has taught us something different. In league history, the teams in the ‘highest scoring’ division after three weeks are a combined 48-48 in non-divisional games, and only once, Robio in ‘2002, has a team from the highest scoring division end up winning the championship.
Top 10 Lowest Scores in a Single Game 1) Don Vozolla 268 (’03) 2) Robio Murray 280 (‘99) 3) Dave Hightower 420 (’02) 4) Justin ® 482 (‘01) 5) Molly Pop 489 (’03) 6) Don Vozolla 495 (‘01) 7) Tim 497 (‘00) 8) John Love 499 (‘00) 9) Dave Hightower 540 (‘00) 10) Jimmy Pedrero 547 (‘01)
The Mendoza Line – The Top-10 Lowest Scoring Games (Combined Scores) 1) 757 – Molly Coomer 494 Don Vozolla 268 in ‘03 2) 1,039 – Dave Hightower 540 John Love 499 in ’00 3) 1,372 – Rick Mullin 952 Dave Hightower 420 in ‘02 4) 1,441 – Brian Gagnon 987 Tim 654 in ‘00 5) 1,452 – Jimmy Pedrero 955 Tim 497 in ’00 6) 1,455 – Rick Mullin 808 Eric Vozolla 647 in ‘01 7) 1,476 – Eric Vozolla 929 Jimmy Pedrero 547 in ‘01 8) 1,512 – Dave Hightower 816 John Love 696 in ’99 9) 1,516 – Chris Carpenter 1,336 Robio Murray 280 in ’99 10) 1,538 – Brian Gagnon 976 Matt Williams 562 in ‘00
WEEK FOUR
Bob’s Bootylicious 1277 at Gang Greenblatt 473 David the Patriots 1291 at Manhattan Projects 1197 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 951 at Don’s Gators 1081 Robio’s Hurricanes 1263 at Griff’s Stoners 1722 Backstreet Boyz 1289 at Molly Pop 1344 The Burrier Bruisers 2027 at Eric’s Dolphins 1103
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
BURRIER – You always get top shout out when you score a 2,000-point game. Nice job with the 2,027…it’s the 9th highest scoring game in league history. I wish all our quarterbacks could play the heartless Saints.
ERIC – You get no love. But look on the bright side, the next three weeks are a battle for last place. Your next four opponents are a combined 3-10.
MASTERSON – Sorry about that Rob, I’ll try to pick you to lose next week.
MOLLY – Sometimes the key to a championship is being able to weather the rough weeks. You had a rough first three weeks but walked away 2-1. Maybe being the previously unbeaten Buttstreet Boyz you’re on your way.
DON – 1,081 points! You nearly outscored your total for the first three weeks.
MATT – It always works out this way. You score 1,709 points against me, but average only 908ppg the rest of the time.
CALDERON – You can brag about the greatness of your team, but remember, if it wasn’t for Greenblatt, you’d be in last place.
ROBIO – Oh Robio, oh Robio…oh to be a Robio. Could this be the year the Robio doesn’t dig it out of my whole? The next two weeks are against the top two teams in the league. Can you say 0-6?
BOB – Nothing great…nothing exciting…nothing worth bragging about…but you just keep on winning and in the end that’s all that matters.
JEFF – At least your awesome 0-4 start is a team effort. By the way, your 473-point effort is the fourth lowest scoring game in league history.
DAVID & GRIFF – (Combo Thought) you boys are just chugging along. Now I don’t want to jinx’s either of you, but if you both can get by your very easy 1-3 opponent next week, then you two will face off at 5-0. Remember, no team has ever started 6-0 in league history.
WEEK FIVE
Molly Pop 1066 at The Burrier Bruisers 1249 Eric’s Dolphins 830 at Gang Greenblatt 904 Backstreet Boyz 475 at Robio’s Hurricanes 2099 Griff’s Stoners 965 at Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1334 Don’s Gators 1059 at David the Patriots 1312 Manhattan Projects 823 at Bob’s Bootylicious 1677
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
ROBIO: 2,000 points…a sign of things to come? If I can defeat Burrier next week, then I’ll say I’M BACK!
MASTERSON: You could have tripled your score and still lost by 400-points. You know I love stats so here’s one you will enough. By losing by a score of 1,588 points, you are officially the loser of the second biggest ass whopping of all-time. The record was set in 1999 by Robio defeating David 2,258-823…a total of 1,617.
MATT: Pulling off the upset of the week. Not bad considering one of your starting running backs scored a kick ass zero points. It looks like the A-Train might just be able to save your season.
GRIFF: All we wanted was a classic (5-0) Dave vs. (5-0) Griff…but you couldn’t even do that for us. Thanks Griff, thanks a lot.
DAVID: Congratulations Mr. Hightower…you are only the second player in league history to start the season 5-0. Beat Griff next week and the record is all yours.
DON & ERIC: You guys have been in this league for two plus years…that’s 33 total games. You’ve played each other five times. So out of the remaining 28 games, eleven times you two have both lost the same week. That’s a 39% of the time. At least if someone says you guys never do anything together…you can now say that’s not true.
BOB: Not only did you beat the crap out of Manhattan Project(s)…you do it with a starting backfield of Moe & Rudi.
CALDERON: This once solid team suddenly looks like a team fighting for next season’s first pick in the draft. Galloway, Rice, Bryson? Let’s call this game a bye-week blues and see what happens next week.
MOLLY: Oh Molly, Molly, Molly. To think how close these games are. Let’s think about it for a moment. You were beating Rich by about 50 or 60 points. Rich has Manning. The Colts just scored and now all the Bucs have to do is recover the onside kick. OF course they don’t, Manning gets the ball back, gets a TD and Rich beats you.
BURRIER: While the rest of your division has struggled at 2-6 outside the division the past two weeks, you have stepped it up and taken control with three straight wins.
Playoffs #1 David vs. #8 Manhattan #2 Burrier vs. #7 Matt #3 Griff vs. #6 Backstreet #4 Bob vs. #5 Molly
WEEK SIX
Bob’s Bootylicious 1654 at Don’s Gators 727 David the Patriots 872 at Griff’s Stoners 1584 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1199 at Backstreet Boyz 979 Robio’s Hurricanes 1546 at The Burrier Bruisers 763 Gang Greenblatt 871 at Molly Pop 1131 Manhattan Projects 1296 at Eric’s Dolphins 1561
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS – Thanks to both Rich and Dave’s failure to break 1,000 points this week, Bob is now the current leader with 4-straight games scoring over 1,000 points. Oh yeah, you’re now also tied for first place in the division.
DON’S GATORS – Can you say worst team ever? We’ll bust out the stats for next week’s predictions to see if you’re on the way.
MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT – With two straight wins you’re now sitting at 3-3. What’s more impressive, you’re last two victories were against teams that started 3-0. What’s even more impressive then that is two of your defeats were against 5-1 teams. You did lose to hapless Don though…so it’s not all that impressive.
BACKSTREET BOYZ – After scoring 1,000ppg for 18-straight regular season games, you’ve failed to hit the grand mark for two-straight games. At least you’ve won more then the Jets.
GRIFF’S STONERS – You’re now top seed in the playoff picture and you’ll have the tiebreaker over Dave for the rest of the season…now only if you can sell that damn car that’s on your answering machine.
DAVID THE PATRIOT – Look on the bright side, no one has ever started 6-0 so the odds were against you. Tell me though, how much do you pray every night for Vick to return?
ROBIO’S HURRICANES – Don’t look now, but that’s two in a row and I’ve finally made a game up on the division leader. Now here comes the fun part…my next five opponents are 2-4, 4-2, 1-5, 1-5, and 1-5 (Combine 9-21). At this time, I’m in the playoffs in the 8th seed. If I win four of those five, trust me when I say I’ll be in the playoffs.
THE BURRIER BRUISERS – I believe even Tupac would call that a smack down! Thankfully, you’re in a bad division and the only person with a winning record. Just to show how much the mighty have fallen…the division is now a horrific 3-9 in non-divisional games. (Check out below to see how the three divisions are doing)
MOLLY POP – Yeah I know, I know, this team is 4-2, sitting in there as a 5th playoff seed (see below), but I can’t help but notice the 1,024ppg average. Only three teams have scored less then you and their combined record is 4-14.
GANG GREENBLATT – How many owners does it take to win one game? Two (Jeff & Colby) Maybe Colby’s wife can take over the team.
ERIC’S DOLPHINS – Nice consistent game, everybody but the kicker scoring more then 100, but not more then 200…not normally enough to win. That is until that little old 641 the Rams Defense pulled off.
MANHATTAN – Look on the bright side, you’re the best 1-5 team in the league.
Divisional Records: Mac Daddy 9-3 (No team with a losing record) Daddy Mac 3-9 Florida 6-6
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY #1 Griff’s Stoners vs. #8 Robio’s Hurricanes #4 Bob’s Bootylicious vs. #5 Molly Pop #3 The Burrier Bruisers vs. #6 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat #2 David The Patriot vs. #7 Backstreet Boyz
WEEK SEVEN
Bob’s Bootylicious 1029 at Griff’s Stoners 1202 David the Patriots 1044 at Backstreet Boyz 1311 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1346 at The Burrier Bruisers 1304 Robio’s Hurricanes 1516 at Eric’s Dolphins 1144 Gang Greenblatt 1335 at Don’s Gators 1071 Manhattan Projects 1010 at Molly Pop 1410
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
ROBIO’S HURRICANES: I got high score again, so I get the first shout out. Here we go boys and girls, after yet another slow Robio start, I’ve pulled out three in a row and I’m sitting pretty only two games out of first place. Next week against Molly will be my only opponent in the next four weeks over .500.
ERIC’S DOLPHINS: You fought a good battle, but Gannon did you in again. However, you’re going to have to win four of your last seven to have even a remote shot at making the playoffs. What’s going to make it hard though is the fact that the two teams directly above you in the playoff hunt (Robio and Gang Greenblatt) own the tiebreaker over you. (Read below for current playoff picture)
DON’S GATORS: Good defeat. I was going to go ahead and declare you the winner of next year’s first draft pick, but then the Manhattan Projects had to screw it up. Next week’s match up of Don vs. Manhattan will officially be the worst game ever based on records (2-12 combined record)
GANG GREENBLATT: And the loser for the top pick in next years draft is Jeff. Even more important though, is you’re no longer in last place.
MANHATTAN PROJECTS: Speaking of last place, 1-6? What the hell? Two games out of the 8th and final playoff spot. You better figure out how to turn this thing around or it’s bye-bye Manhattan Projects
MOLLY POP: Unlike her past victories, this one was actually impressive. Sadly, the division leader (and your husband) keeps on winning. Huge match up next week against though against one hot Robio.
GRIFF’S STONERS: You’re just cruising along aren’t you? Not only are you the only team in sole possession of first place in your division, you’re now one game up over everybody for the top seed in the playoffs.
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS: It was there for the taking. Dave’s ship is starting to crack. Great teams take advantage of that…good ones keep even. Look on the bright side you’re still tied for first in the toughest division in football Heaven.
DAVID THE PATRIOT: Yes, I said the ship was starting to crack. Maybe I shouldn’t get so worked up about two loses. It was against two teams that have a combined record of 11-3. When Vick comes back though, everything should be all right.
BACKSTREET BOYZ: You don’t even start a defense, yet you still pull the win out of your ass…not bad white boy. This is officially the Jeckel and Hyde team of the season: great one week, crappy the next. Which team will show up next week?
MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT: That’s three in a row, baby. You’re now sitting only one-game back of first place. What’s even more impressive is you’ve taken down some impressive foes; one first place team (Griff) and two teams tied for first (Rob & Rich).
THE BURRIER BRUISERS: You’re looking more like the Burrier Bruises. It’s always tough to lose a close game, especially when you score high, but at what point do you push the panic button? Probably not anytime soon, considering how bad your division has looked of late.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY: #1 Griff’s Stoners vs. #8 Robio’s Hurricanes #4 Bob’s Bootylicious vs. #5 Molly Pop #3 Backstreet Boyz #6 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat #2 David The Patriot #7 The Burrier Bruisers
WEEK EIGHT
Bob’s Bootylicious 1120 at Backstreet Boyz 1375 David the Patriots 852 at The Burrier Bruisers 1463 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1409 at Eric’s Dolphins 962 Robio’s Hurricanes 1432 at Molly Pop 743 Gang Greenblatt 1439 at Griff’s Stoners 1454 Manhattan Projects 1912 at Don’s Gators 771
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
GANG GREENBLATT: Guess what, you’re now 0-2 in games where you played a player who was on a bye-week. Just think all you needed was for some stupid Tight End to catch an 18-yard pass to win. I pray you have some player’s on their bye-week when we play.
GRIFF STONERS: How do you become a 7-1 team? A lot of luck is sometimes involved, especially when a backup quarterback for the Buffalo Bills comes in on 38-5 ass whopping on Sunday night and throws a pass directly to the defensive back with less then two minutes to go giving you 45 more points and a 15-point victory.
MANHATTAN PROJECTS: So this means you’re not the worst team in the league. Oh by the way, your 1,141-point victory is the fourth greatest ass kicking in league history. Read below for the top-10 ass kicking’s off all-time.
DON’S GATORS: Nice job on scoring 771. It brings your season average up to an impressive 760ppg. Let’s go ahead and start the “Worst Team In League History” watch. The worst record is 2-12. The worst scoring team average 835ppg.
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS & DAVID THE PATRIOT: You guys are joined at the hip now. You both had a dominating lead over Matt and myself, now that’s all gone. Not bad though when you’re leading the only division that doesn’t have a team with a losing record.
THE BURRIER BRUISERS & BACKSTREET BOYZ: The “B” Boys are back on top. The top two in your division defeated the top two in my division (Bob & Dave). Your division is still only 8-12 in non-divisional games, but look on the bright side, your entire league is averaging 1,279ppg, highest among the three divisions.
ROBIO HURRICANES: Yeah, I dropped four in a row to start the season, but now I’ve won four in a row, one game out of first place. Impressive right? Did I mention I averaged 1,648ppg over that stretch? Not bad compared to 1,037 I averaged the first four games.
MOLLY: It’s real simple. You have the seventh spot in the playoffs (Read Below). You have a one-game lead over Robio (who sits in the 8th playoff spot), but I’m not your problem. You have a three-game lead over the closet person not in the playoffs. Hold that lead over the last six-weeks and you win.
MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT: Hey, you’re undefeated since your trade with me, as am I, the guy you traded with. I guess if others want to go from 1-3 to for first place then they’ll try some trading too.
ERIC’S DOLPHINS: You’re going to need a miracle to make that first trip to the playoffs. You own the tiebreaker over Manhattan and your father, but you lose out to about everyone else. Realistically, you’re going to have to win five of your final six to pull it off.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY #1 Griff’s Stoners vs. #8 Robio’s Hurricanes #4 The Burrier Bruisers vs. #5 Bob’s Bootylicious #3 David The Patriot vs. #6 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat #2 Backstreet Boyz vs. #7 Molly Pop
Top 10 Largest Margins of Victory 1 – Robio Murray: 1,624 vs. Rob M 2,099-475 in ‘03 2 – Robio Murray: 1,617 vs. Dave 2258-823 in ‘99 3 – Jason Carpenter: 1,463 vs. Don 1,958-495 in ‘01 4 – Rich Calderon: 1,141 vs. Don 1,912-771 in ‘03 5 – Jimmy Pedrero: 1,103 vs. Don 1904-801 in ‘01 6 – Justin Acerno: 1,101 vs. Rob M 2133-1032 in ‘02 7 – Brian Gagnon: 1,067 vs. Tim 2112-1045 in ‘99 8 – Chris Carpenter: 1,056 vs. Robio 1336-280 in ‘99 9 – Rick Mullen: 1,022 vs. Brian 1636-614 in ‘02 10 – David Hightower: 985 vs. Rick 2144-1159 in ‘02 11 – Justin Acerno: 965 vs. Robio 1696-731 in ‘02
WEEK NINE
Griff’s Stoners 1188 at Manhattan Projects 1500 Don’s Gators 1221 at Backstreet Boyz 1077 Gang Greenblatt 1466 at Robio’s Hurricanes 1453 Molly Pop 1073 at Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1299 Eric’s Dolphins 1034 at David the Patriots 1418 The Burrier Bruisers 1135 at Bob’s Bootylicious 939
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
DAVID THE PATRIOT: You stopped the bleeding for now, but that happens when you play (2-7) Eric. But a win is a win and that’s all that matters. Also, the Vick report now says you can expect to see him back for the second to last game of the regular season.
ERIC’S DOLPHINS: Oh Eric, even you’ve never been this bad before. You’ll have to win the remainder of your games to have any shot at the playoffs. You’ll need a lot of love though when you consider four of your final five opponents are currently above .500.
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS: Oh, you were so close. You smelled sole position of first place. You could almost touch it, but oh those three-game losing streaks can put a damper on things. Welcome to third place in the division.
MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT: Welcome to second place. The hottest team in the league right now gets even more good news. Your final two non-divisional opponents are a combined 6-12.
THE BURRIER BRUISERS: Good week for The Burrier. He maintains the top spot in the total points standing and because of the sad, sad performance of Masterson’s team you got sole position of first place.
BACKSTREET GIRLS: Speaking of a sad, sad team…you called it, I picked it and your team came through. You said you would lose this game and you did. At least you won’t have to worry about any kind of tiebreaker with Don down the road.
DON’S GATORS: A hell of a week for the league losers. Three of the four teams who are currently sitting out of the playoffs won this week. Luckily for you, your win guarantees you won’t have sole possession of the worst record in league history, which is 2-12 (Done three times in league history).
GANG GREENBLATT: With the victory, you’re now only one game from a playoff spot and you own the tiebreaker over me. Week thirteen’s game against the Manhattan Projects could be a huge, huge, huge game (Assuming you keep this up).
ROBIO’S HURRICANES: Good enough to beat a lot of people, but not everybody. Not too worried though, I was 4-5 last season and I don’t need to remind you all of what happened last year. However, next week’s game against the Manhattan Projects will probably decide the 8th seed in the playoffs.
MOLLY POP: You’re starting to stumble, but unless you fall flat on your face, you won’t miss the playoffs. I figure you’ll need to win at least two of your final five games. Thank God you have Eric and Don in your division.
GRIFF’S STONERS: Okay, yeah you lost, but it shouldn’t matter. Your division sucks. You’re going to go to the playoffs. You’re going to win your division. The only question is if you can get the top seed in the playoffs. Question is, do you want it? Rich (Manhattan) and myself are fighting over the 8th seed and we’re currently second and third respectively in scoring.
MANHATTAN PROJECTS: Last week you were creeping, this week you’re crawling. If you can start walking next week you’ll soon be running into the playoffs. Burrier may be tough to catch though to win that division.
NOTE: I’m considering changing the rule about player changes in the post-season. Because our championship game is in the final week of the season, teams are often hurt by the fact that their players are often pulled the last game because their team has nothing to play for. So the possible rule change will be: Teams in the post-season can add/drop players from their roster. The waiver wire will remain in effect and you’ll still have to remain under the salary cap. The trade deadline will still be in effect. Teams not in the playoffs, your rosters will remain frozen. Any player you pick up for the post-season will not be eligible for next season’s keeper picks.
If you have any questions and concerns please let me know. I’m still debating whether to do this or not.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY #1 Griff’s Stoners vs. #8 Robio’s Hurricanes #4 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat* vs. #5 Backstreet Boyz** #3 David The Patriot* vs. #6 Bob’s Bootylicious** #2 The Burrier Bruisers* vs. #7 Molly Pop**
*Dave and Matt are tied for division, but Dave owns the tiebreaker because of his victory over Matt. Burrier owns the tiebreaker over David for the second seed.
** Molly owns the tiebreaker over the Backstreet Boyz, Backstreet Boyz own the tiebreaker over Bob. Until Bob and Molly play in two weeks, the tiebreaker will be total points for now.
WEEK TEN
Bob’s Bootylicious 1040 at Eric’s Dolphins 1131 David the Patriots 1300 at Molly Pop 442 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1000 at Gang Greenblatt 1350 Robio’s Hurricanes 2119 at Manhattan Projects 1490 Backstreet Boyz 863 at Griff’s Stoners 1427 The Burrier Bruisers 1283 at Don’s Gators 1361
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
ROBIO’S HURRICANES: Sorry boys and girl, I get the first shout out. My second 2,000-point game this season. In league history there’s only been thirteen 2,000-point games. I have five of them, including the top three. Did I mention that I’m the highest scoring team in the league now? Too bad I’m still last in my division.
MANHATTAN PROJECTS: You post the question on the web site regarding how many of your opponents had the top score of the week or the second highest score of the week. Well, let’s see. Your opponents average 3.7 in scoring each week including two top scores and three-second place scores. That is pretty rough. But I have a better way to look at it. Five of your nine opponents had their highest scoring game when they played you. Two others had their second best game. Three of your opponents had one of their worst games when they played you.
GRIFF’S STONERS: You just keep on trucking. Okay, you got a three-game lead over your wife with four games to play. If you win next week and Molly loses, you have officially won your division and have clinched a playoff spot. If she wins, then beat her the following week and you wrap it all up. If you want to guarantee a playoff spot without winning your division, if you win next week and Gang Greenblatt loses, then you clinch a playoff spot.
BACKSTREET BOYZ: Oh how the mighty have fallen. Priest Holmes scores an impressive 384. The rest of your team scores a combined 479. Your kicker is your third highest scoring player…sad, truly sad. Check out the playoff picture below to see how far you’ve actually fallen.
DAVID THE PATRIOT: Right back in first place all by yourself, right where you belong, right? Now here comes the big question? I have won my division title each and every year in league history. Currently, you have a two-game lead and the tiebreaker until we play again. Question is; can you hold off my charge and win the division? If you can win three of your final four games, then you can hold me off. If we finished tied at nine wins each then that won’t do it. Of course, you still have Matt to worry about, sitting only one game out.
MOLLY: Not only do you drop your third in a row, but you do it ugly with another top-10 lowest game of all-time performance. Luckily for you, you got Eric and Don in your division. However, they’re only two games back and their teams have been playing better then yours lately. I smell trouble.
DON’S GATORS: Two weeks ago we were all wondering if you were going to win two games all season, but suddenly you pull out back-to-back victories against two teams that were in first place of their division when you played them. Pennington was a stud pick up. With a healthy Faulk and good Davis in Houston (by the way, why did you sit him?) and the Panthers defense, there’s no reason why you can’t run the table…wait you play me next week. Okay, there’s no reason why you couldn’t finish 3-1. You know, 6-8 could be good enough to get into the playoffs?
THE BURRIER BRUISERS: 833 points from your top two players, yet you still get beat up by the worst team in the league. We’ll call this your hiccup game with Davis out and why you started Northcutt over Robinson will be a mystery to all of us.
GANG GREENBLATT: Guess who’s the hottest team in the league right now? You guess it, Jeffrey. Santana Moss is starting to look like one of the best receivers in the game right now. It’s too bad you only have one good running back.
MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT: The hottest team in the league is cooled off. Why is it your team struggles against the bad teams? Of your four defeats this season, only one was against a team with a winning record.
ERIC’S DOLPHINS: It wasn’t pretty, but it was a win. It’s hard to forget the fact you would have lost to seven other teams this week. However, if McNabb can keep up his 300-point pace along with the Cowboys and Ricky can be Ricky again, then why not?
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS: Mayday, mayday, Bob’s going down. He’s going down hard. After sitting in first place at 5-1, you’ve dropped four in a row. Suddenly those playoff dreams are looking like early pick in next year’s draft nightmare.
PLAYOFF PICTURE #1 GRIFF’S STONERS VS #8 MOLLY POP #4 MATT, THE GUY… VS #5 ROBIO’S HURRICANES #3 THE BURRIER BRUISERS VS #6 BACKSTREET BOYZ #2 DAVID THE PATRIOT VS #7 BOB’S BOTTYLICIOUS
SITTING OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN #9 GANG GREENBLATT #10 MANHATTAN PROJECTS #11 ERIC DOLPHINS #12 DON’S GATORS
TIEBREAKERS Four teams are tied at 5-5. If any finished tied with the same record and fail to win the division, this is the tiebreaker situation. – Robio owns the tiebreaker over Molly, Backstreet, but loses out to Bob (They play one more time) – Backstreet owns the tiebreaker over Bob, but loses out to both Robio and Molly – Molly owns the tiebreaker over Backstreet, but loses out to Robio. She plays Bob next week – Bob owns the tiebreaker over Robio (They play one more time), but loses to Backstreet. He plays Molly this week.
WEEK ELEVEN
Bob’s Bootylicious 1063 at Molly Pop 1744 David the Patriots 893 at Gang Greenblatt 1009 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1270 at Manhattan Projects 1492 Robio’s Hurricanes 1378 at Don’s Gators 1228 Backstreet Boyz 772 at Eric’s Dolphins 1117 The Burrier Bruisers 1304 at Griff’s Stoners 700
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
MANHATTAN PROJECTS & GANG GREENBLATT: Congratulations fellows, you’ve both managed to almost climb your way out of the gutter and into the playoff picture (Jeff missing out because of tiebreakers, Rich only one game out). Lady luck has been on your side as the Backstreet’s and Bob’s of the world have collapse.
BACKSTREET BOYZ: It was only yesterday you were on top of the world at 3-0. Suddenly you dropped six of eight and you suck big ass. Not back for a gentile. Anyway, thanks to a couple tiebreakers, you’re barely holding on to that 7thth seed in the playoffs. Do you remember back to when I called you the 9th best team in the league? Do you remember how much you laughed? You’re not laughing anymore are you?
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS: Speaking of collapse, you were 5-1, tied for first place. What happened, Booty? You’re collapse from the top would make Bobby Brown envious. Luckily you beat Gang Green so you’re hanging on to the 8th playoff seed. But does it really matter? You won’t be in there long if you do make it.
THE BURRIER BRUISERS: The only team with a winning record in your division. Wow. If you win next week and (Rob) Backstreet Boyz lose, you win your division. It’s just that simple.
MOLLY: Nice game out of nowhere. Right when we think you’re ready to fade away into that goodnight, you rebound with a solid 1,700 points. You’ll probably need at least one more win to make the playoffs though. With your season scoring, you’re not going to win too many tiebreakers.
GRIFF’S STONERS: I can’t figure out this damn team. How do you throw down 1,400 one week and then 700 the next week, yet you still managed to hold on to that top seed. I don’t want to look to far in the future, but we’ve never had a top seed get beat by an 8th seed in the playoffs. Potentially though, the four or five teams fighting for the 8th seed could conceivably have a higher season scoring average then you. That smells like an upset.
ERIC’S DOPLHINS: Look who’s on a little mini-roll here. Look who has the tiebreaker edge over the mighty Manhattan Project. Look who is sitting only one game out of the playoff picture. All that with Ricky Williams running like Ricky Ricardo.
MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT: I hope you appreciated that awesome run you had that nearly put you in sole possession of first place, because quite simply, it’s over. Suddenly, you’re back where you belong in third place. Good news though, it would take a complete collapse and some late season miracle for one of our lovable losers, for you to miss the playoffs.
DAVID THE PATRIOT: Okay Dave, you lost, you’re barely hanging on. You have the greatest opportunity to achieve the greatest achievement in fantasy football. You’re on the verge of doing what was once thought impossible…something that has never, ever been done…win a division title in the same division of Robio. At this time, you’re one game up, you own the tiebreaker, but we do play again. However, even if I beat you next time we play, the tiebreaker is different when going for a division title. For the playoffs, after head-to-head it comes down to total points. However, when deciding the division title, it comes down to head-to-head, followed by division record. Going back into division play, you’re 3-0 in the division, I’m 0-3.
DON’S GATORS: The worse team in the league gets nothing this week. Win next week and I’ll give you lots of love.
ROBIO: I rule. I rock. Now how do I win without Travis Henry.
PLAYOFF PICTURE #1 GRIFF COOMER VS #8 BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS #4 MATT, THE GUY IN… VS #5 ROBIO’S HURRICANES #3 DAVID THE PATRIOT VS #6 MOLLY POP #2 THE BURRIER BRUISERS VS #7 BACKSTREET BOYZ
OUTSIDE LOOKING IN #9 – Gang Greenblatt #10 – Eric’s Dolphins #11 – Manhattan Projects #12 – Don’s Gators
TIEBREAKERS – For the 2nd seed: Burrier has the tiebreaker over David because he beat him head-to-head – For the 4th, 5th & 6th seeds: Matt, Robio and Molly are all tied. Matt beat Robio and Molly head-to-head, Robio defeated Molly. Robio and Matt play one more time. – For the 7th and 8th seed: Greenblatt, Bob and Backstreet all have to same record. Backstreet beat both Greenblatt and Bob. Bob defeated Greenblatt. Backstreet and Greenblatt play one more time.
WEEK TWELVE
Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1089 at Bob’s Bootylicious 897 Robio’s Hurricanes 1084 at David the Patriots 915 Backstreet Boyz 1631 at Gang Greenblatt 654 The Burrier Bruisers 1398 at Manhattan Projects 1677 Eric’s Dolphins 1325 at Don’s Gators 1058 Molly Pop 1279 at Griff’s Stoners 875
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS Check out some rule changes below
MANHATTAN PROJECTS: Congratulations Richard, you finally get the fist shout out all by yourself. Not only did you take down your division leader and creep into the playoffs for now, you also moved into the top position in total points. You better keep winning though, you lose out on a lot of tiebreakers (Check out below). In fact, if you win next week, it could potential be a bad thing because Greenblatt would fall out of the tiebreaker. If you win and either Bob or Eric wins, you lose out to both of them in head-to-head tiebreakers. Unless the Backstreet Boyz lose as well and you might be okay.
ROBIO’S HURRICANES: Someone’s going to have to explain to me one day how I always start off so poorly, but I always manage to dominate the rest of the way. However, my mission is not complete. I’m still short on the tiebreaker for the division lead.
DAVID THE PATRIOT: Barely. You barely hold a lead in our division. You beat Matt and you and I are tied, so be thankful for that 3-1 divisional record. No matter what happens, you’re more then likely going to have to win your final two games to win the division.
MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT: Owner #3 of the three-way tie for first place in our division. Despite all your success recently, you’re still going to have to prove yourself. Unless there’s a late season miracle, you’re going to probably make it to the playoffs, but if you beat me next week, then you and Dave will fight for the division title in the final week.
THE BURRIER BRUISERS: How do the three division leaders all lose in the same week? You better hope this week was a fluke. Next weeks game against the Backstreet Boyz is for first place in that division of yours.
GRIFF STONERS: Speaking of division leading losers, here’s one that’s dropped three of his last four games. You may be in the playoffs, but that division title is not guaranteed. Molly and you are tied at 1-1 and you’re both sitting at 3-1. At this point, if she’s able to catch you and tie you by season’s end, she’ll be the division winner.
GANG GREENBLATT: It is real simple for you, the loser of next week’s game between you and Manhattan will go a long way in deciding who’s in the playoffs and who’s not. In fact, if you do lose you won’t be mathematically out of the playoffs, but you can pretty much kiss the post-season goodbye.
ERIC: Okay Eric, this is going to be difficult to explain, but here it goes. You won this week, yet you fall to the 11th spot for the playoffs behind two teams you beat. How? Let me explain. You are in a four-way tie for the 8th playoff seed. You own the tiebreaker against Manhattan and Bob, but you lose out to Gang Greenblatt. Since none of the four are undefeated against the rest, it comes down to total points, which you better hope it doesn’t come down to that in the end. Now next week, if you win and Manhattan defeats Greenblatt then you’ll jump all the way up to 8th seed. Even if Backstreet Boyz loses, it won’t hurt you. In fact, you’ll have the tiebreaker over him so you might move up into the 7th seed.
MOLLY: As soon as I’m about to count you out, you pull out a couple sweet wins. However, you’re still going to need your husband to lose at least one game (assuming you keep winning of course) to catch him for the division. Although it’s no guarantee, all 7-5 teams should make the playoffs.
DON: Oh poor Don. Poor, poor Don gets no love. I have some bad news. You are officially out of the playoffs. There is no possible way you can make it in. The winner of next week’s Manhattan and Greenblatt will guarantee that at least eight teams have six wins, which is something you will be unable to do…from first place to last in one season, not bad.
BACKSTREET: So you say you’re back? But can one good game really allow you to say you’re back? Keep in mind this team has still has lost six of its last nine and although your victory was impressive, I can’t help forget it ended your second three-game losing streak in the past nine weeks. However, if you win next week, then I’ll get excited because you’ll be in first place in your division.
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS: Bob, you get the last shout out, because simply, your booty is no long luscious. How bad has it gotten? From 5-1 and first place to six-straight loses. Your six-game losing streak is tied for the fourth longest in league history. Only Griff’s collapse last season could come close to equaling this one. Last season he started 3-0 but dropped his next six games, but at least he turned it around with five-straight victories. You on the other hand, if you drop your remaining two games, you’ll tie the all-time record for longest losing streak at eight.
IF THE PLAYOFFS STARTED TODAY #1 Griff’s Stoners vs. #8 Manhattan Projects #4 Matt, the guy in… vs. #5 Robio’s Hurricanes #3 David the Patriot vs. #6 Molly Pop #2 The Burrier Bruiser vs. #7 The Backstreet Boyz
TIEBREAKER FOR 5-7 TEAMS MANHATTAN: Defeated Greenblatt, but loses out to both Bob and Eric. Owns the current tiebreaker because he leads the other three in points. BOB: Defeated Manhattan and Greenblatt, but lost to Eric. Is second in total points against the other 5-7 teams. GANG: Lost to both Bob and Manhattan, but defeated Eric. Sits third in total points against the three other 5-7 teams. ERIC: Beat both Bob and Manhattan, but lost to Gang Greenblatt. Sits last in total points between the four teams.
· First some rule changes that I talked about earlier. I am removing the roster changes rules for teams eliminated before the playoffs start. Because this is a keeper league now, players should still be able to prepare for next season if they like. However, once the playoffs start, if you’re one of the four teams not in, you’re done, no roster moves. Once you’re eliminated from the playoffs, you’re done, no roster moves. · The trading deadline will not end until the season ends. Although I know you guys are all too competitive to give up something to help someone else, if I see any trade that questionable, I’m going to veto it. So no Priest Holmes for Ryan Leaf trades will be allowed. · In the past, once the playoffs started, there were no more free agent pickups. This rule is now changed too. Because our championship game goes to week 17, a lot of players end up not playing because their real teams have nothing to play for. So this year you will be able to continue to add/drop throughout the playoffs. Keep in mind if you drop your star player in the championship game because he’s sitting out, then you don’t get to keep him as a keeper next season.
WEEK THIRTEEN
Eric’s Dolphins 765 at Molly Pop 1069 Don’s Gators 1620 at Griff’s Stoners 937 Backstreet Boyz 1691 at The Burrier Bruisers 1667 Gang Greenblatt 1135 at Manhattan Projects 1096 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1189 at Robio’s Hurricanes 1599 Bob’s Bootylicious 1493 at David the Patriots 1259
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
HOW GOOD IS THIS LEAGUE? Not a single team currently sitting in the playoffs is in the same spot it was last week. All three of the division leaders lost their division leads.
ROBIO: Let’s see, week four I was 0-4, four games out of first place. Week thirteen I’m not only in first place in my division, I’m now the top seed in the playoffs. You guys can decide between yourself my fantasy football name: Rob the God, Fantasy Football God, whatever.
BACKSTREET: Last season you collapsed at the end, this season you’re the hottest thing since LA Gear. One more win and the division is yours. It would take a miracle for you to miss the playoffs at this point.
MOLLY: Sweet, sweet Molly. Tonight when your husband comes home, sit him down, look him straight in the eyes and let him know that you’re the top team in the division (and the house), but I’m willing to bet he knew that already. By the way you’re officially in the playoffs now and one more victory or a Griff loss and the division is yours.
GRIFF: Yeah, you’re in the playoffs, but we wouldn’t know it from how your team has played lately. Losing to the worst team in the league. How sad is that? You now need Molly to lose to have any shot at winning that division you’ve lead for the past twelve weeks.
BURRIER: Speaking of collapsing…dropping three of four and suddenly you’re out of that division lead. Because you’ve lost to Masterson twice, you’re going to need him to lose for you to win that first divisional title.
DAVID: Speaking of a major collapse…5-0 (tying the greatest start in fantasy football history) and the next thing we know, you not only lose your first place hold on the division, but you’re fighting for your playoff life. Luckily for you, if I lose next week and you win, then you will win the division. If you lose, then it’s going to come down to a lot of tricky numbers. In fact, if you lose and Bob and Gang Greenblatt win, then it comes down to total points, which you trail Bob, but lead Greenblatt.
MATT: You’re a lot like Dave above, but without the collapse. If I lose next week and you beat David, then you will win the division. If you lose, then making the playoffs will come down to the same tiebreakers. You have a slim lead over Bob, but a good lead over Gang Greenblatt in total points.
ERIC: Let’s go ahead and get you out of the way now. Can you still make the playoffs? To have a shot, you’re going to need to win next week and you’ll need Bob, Gang Greenblatt and Manhattan to all lose, but that’s not it. What will happen is you, Bob and Gang will all be tied at 6-8. You beat Bob, Bob beat Gang and Gang beat you, so it will come down to total points. You would need to pass up both Gang (you trail by just under 1,000 points) and Bob (you trail by just over 1,900). Miracles could happen, but don’t count on it.
MANHATTAN: Look on the bright side, when you miss the playoffs, you won’t be the highest scoring team in the league, thanks to my great week. Don’t sweat it too much, even if you won, you still would be sitting out of the playoffs. Now, how do you still get in? You have to beat the Backstreet Boys next week and you also need both Bob and Greenblatt to lose. But that’s not it. You will need Eric to win as well. Why? If you are in a three-way tie for the eight-playoff seed with Greenblatt and Bob, Bob would automatically win because he owns the tiebreaker over you and Greenblatt. However, if Eric wins as well, then it will be a four-way tie. Because Bob lost to Eric, the tiebreaker would become total points, which you would win handily.
BOB’S BOOTYLICIOUS & GANG GREENBLATT: Okay you two, impressive wins from both of you. Because Bob defeated Greenblatt earlier, he owns the head-to-head tiebreaker and the 8th seed at this time. A lot can happen though next week. If Bob wins and Greenblatt loses, Bob’s in. The same goes if Greenblatt wins and Bob loses. If you both win, then things are different. If Greenblatt wins, then that means Burrier loses, which creates a four-way tie with the loser of the Matt/David game. That will be four people fighting for three playoff spots. The person with the lowest total points will be out (which at this time is Gang Greenblatt). Now, if both Bob and Greenblatt lose, then read Manhattan’s thoughts above.
DON: Oh Don, you’re so damn good at winning those games when things don’t matter anymore. You’re a great spoiler.
PLAYOFFS (FOR NOW): #1 Robio’s Hurricanes #8 Bob’s Bootylicious #4 Griff’s Stoners vs. #5 The Burrier Bruiser #3 Backstreet Boys vs. #6 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat #2 Molly Pop vs. #7 David The Patriot
OUTSIDE LOOKING IN: #9 Gang Greenblatt (6-7) #10 Eric’s Dolphins (5-8) #11 Manhattan Project (5-8) #12 Don’s Gators (4-9)
If you have any questions regarding your playoff situation (or lack of) feel free to send me an email and I will help explain it to you. I think the info above should be good for now.
WEEK FOURTEEN
Robio’s Hurricanes 2014 at Bob’s Bootylicious 1185 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1662 at David the Patriots 1839 The Burrier Bruisers 1751 at Gang Greenblatt 1388 Manhattan Projects 1662 at Backstreet Boyz 858 Molly Pop 1138 at Don’s Gators 952 Griff’s Stoners 774 at Eric’s Dolphins 852
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS This year we did something that had never been done before. For the first time ever, the top eight teams in the power rankings are all in the playoffs. Historically, a good team always got screwed.
#1 ROBIO’S HURRICANES: Hottest team coming into the playoffs. I’m won nine of ten games, averaging 1,633ppg over that stretch. I also broke the 2,000-point mark a record three times this season. However, I have to play Manhattan in week one, which won’t be easy. In league history, the four teams that make up the 8th seed averaged 1,136ppg. Manhattan is averaging 1,396ppg.
#2 MOLLY POP: Congratulations Molly. Two seasons of fantasy football, two seasons you have won your division title. Besides Robio who’s four for four, you’re now the only other owner to win two division titles in a career…and this includes all retired owners. The only negative is you’re the lowest scoring second seed in league history by nearly 2,000 points.
#3 THE BURRIER BRUISERS: You held on to win a very tough division. In fact, based on total points, this is the second highest scoring division of all-time. You should really be excited because you were also in the highest scoring division of all-time as well (Last season with Robio, Rob, Justin & Rich). Careful though, the third seed is only 2-2 in the first round. Of course I won it all last season as a third seed.
#4 GRIFF’S STONERS: Thanks to your week six victory over David, you win the fourth seed of the playoffs. However, this may be more of a punishment then a reward. The fourth seed has only won once in the first round (1-3) in league history. Weren’t you 7-1 at one point, top team in the league? Losing five of six games is not a good thing.
#5 DAVID THE PATRIOT: To think, the two teams whom loss last in the season (David & Griff) sit in the fourth and fifth seeds. In history, nobody seeded 4th or lower has ever won a championship, but guess who just got Vick back right at the right time? Guess who quarterbacked the championship team last season? You guessed it, Vick. Guess who’s the only seed lower then the third seed to make it to the championship game? That’s right, David.
#6 MATT, THE GUY IN ROB’S SEAT: Not only are you sitting in Rob’s seat, you’re sitting in the 6th seed because you beat him in week six. You never want to enter the playoffs with a two-game losing streak (teams with two-game losing streaks are 0-5 in the first round of the playoffs), but it’s not like your team played bad. You beat the Burrier once in week seven, so you have to believe you can pull off this upset. The sixth seed is a surprising 2-2 in the first round.
#7 BACKSTREET BOYZ: The more things change, the more things stay the same. Last season you were the 7th seed. This season, guess what? You’re the 7th seed. Last season you were the first 7th seed to win a single playoff game. Can you do it again? The good news is you have three players on your roster that were on my championship team last season (Holmes, Burress, Johnson).
#8 THE MANHATTAN MIRACLE: That’s what you are…a miracle. Let’s think about this. To make the playoffs, you needed Gang Greenblatt to lose, Bob’s Bootylicious to lose and you need Eric to defeat a first place team. Oh, and you had to beat a first place team too. I expect you to send Eric a big thank you note soon. ALL FOUR THINGS HAPPENED! Can your miracle season continue? Let’s just say, you got a good shot. Your players and defense have a lot better match ups then my players and defense do next week.
NEXT YEAR’S DRAFT:
1st seed – Don: Top seed in the draft. Things are going to be interesting next season because of the new keeper rules. (This applies to everyone) Your roster is now frozen once you’re out of it, so no more picking up free agents. Next season when I send out the ‘Fantasy Football Newsletter’ with the player’s salary (usually a month before the draft) the rosters will be opened again. You won’t be able to pick up free agents, but you will be able to trade players for players or players for picks (only your top two picks though). When the draft starts up that is when everyone will have to decide whom their keepers are.
2nd seed – ERIC: Three fantasy football seasons, three missed playoffs. What has to be more frustrating is you’ve lost the previous two thanks to the total points tiebreaker.
3rd seed – GANG GREENBLATT: What can I say, you showed flashes of brilliance, but not enough. You might have to find a better General Manger to run your team next season.
4th seed – BOB: It’s like you and I switched bodies. You were 5-1, on top of the division, on top of the world, then…THE COLLAPSE, dropping seven of your last eight. There were too many injuries to overcome I guess.
PLAYOFF GAMES
#1 Robio’s Hurricanes vs. #8 Manhattan Projects * First ever playoff meeting. These two teams average a combined 2,852ppg this season. That’s highest combined average between two opponents ever in post-season game.
#4 Griff’s Stoners vs. #5 David The Patriot * These two have been in the league since the beginning. They’ve played six games against each other with David winning four of them. However, this will be their first ever playoff meeting. Griff enters the post-season with a sweet four-game losing streak, two against non-playoff teams, and he’s failed to break the 1,000-point mark during those four games. How about some history? Teams entering the post-season on a two-game or more losing streak are 3-7 in the first round. Good news for you Griff is teams coming in with a two-game losing streak are 0-5. Teams coming in with a four-game losing streak are surprisingly 2-1 in the first round.
#3 The Burrier Bruisers vs. #6 Matt, the Guy in Rob’s Seat * First ever post-season meeting, first ever post-season for both teams. Okay, fun stat of the week. Matt defeated Burrier earlier this year. In the first round game when one team had a winning record against the team they’re playing again, the team that won in the regular season game is 11-3 in the post-season rematch. If you include the entire post-season, the winner of the regular season game is 18-5. However, despite losing, Burrier ended up with a better record then Matt. In these cases, the team that lost, but finished with the better record is 2-0 in the first round rematch. Got all that?
#2 Molly Pop vs. #7 Backstreet Boys *A rematch of last season’s second round game where Molly crushed Rob Masterson 1,646-867, the second largest ass kicking in post-season history. More strange numbers; in the four years this league has been in existence, this will only be the third time in league history that two teams who met in the post-season the year before, meet again the following season (Robio defeated Griff in ‘99 and ‘00, Robio defeated David in ‘00, but lost to him in ‘01). In fact, in league history, there have only been four games that involved two teams that have faced off in a past post-season.
QUARTERFINALS
Manhattan Projects 1953 at Robio’s Hurricanes 1535 David the Patriots 568 at Griff’s Stoners 1449 Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 1128 at The Burrier Bruisers 1592 Backstreet Boyz 2501 at Molly Pop 1319
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS The days not even over, but barring any miracles the results are in, so here’s a special Tuesday Thoughts on Sunday.
ROBIO HURRICANE: There has to be a little irony in the fact that the late, great Robio Murray fell in the post-season the same day the Saddam Hussien era ended. We both dominated. We both crushed our opponents throughout the years…but now that’s over. It was a heck of a run, a good comeback after a bad start, but now it’s time to step aside and let someone else enjoy a title run. At least I’m in the championship game in my other league.
MANHATTAN PROJECTS: And here’s the man that ended the Robio rein of terror. Congratulations on being only the second person ever to defeat Robio in the post-season. I’ve been saying all year, this is the year no one wants to be the first seed.
THE BURRIER BRUISER: You’re now the top seed remaining in the post-season, but things don’t get any easier because you’ll be facing one of the hottest teams in the playoffs in Manhattan.
GRIFF’S STONERS: Amazing, teams coming into the playoffs with a four-game losing streak are a stunning 3-1 in the first-round of the playoffs. Keep in mind, your 4-0 now in the first round as well.
BACKSTREET BOYZ: I tell ya, I don’t want to ever have to face you as the 7th seed in the playoffs. You had 1,500 for your team by 2:30! Last season you got kicked out of the playoffs in the second round by Molly. This season you’ll have to face her husband.
MOLLY: Well, the luck finally ran out. You had a good run, another division title, you won your money back. Not bad for a white girl. Go ahead and start preparing for next year…you’ll have the 7th pick in the draft.
MATT: Pretty damn good season for an expansion team. Turn the experience of this year’s playoff invite into a deep playoff run next season. Next season, the 5th pick is yours.
DAVID THE PATRIOT: You finally get Vick back and then he helps turn your playoff dream into a playoff nightmare. However, you got two great keepers for next season with Vick & Portis. Next season you’ll sitting in the 6th pick.
NEXT YEAR’S DRAFT ORDER 1st Pick – Don’s Gators 2nd Pick – Eric’s Dolphins 3rd Pick – Gang Greenblatt 4th Pick – Bob’s Bootylicious 5th Pick – Matt, The Guy In Rob’s Seat 6th Pick – David The Patriot 7th Pick – Molly Pop 8th Pick – Robio’s Hurricanes
POST-SEASON – SECOND ROUND *I always re-seed the second round so the higher seed is always playing the lowest.
SEMI FINALS
Backstreet Boyz 1064 at Griff’s Stoners 1591 Manhattan Projects 1054 at The Burrier Bruisers 114
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS
GRIFF’S STONERS: Welcome back buddy boy…you’re third trip to the finals. There’s no need to remind you what happened the other two times you’ve been here. Now it’s time to erase your titles past with a win this week.
THE BURRIER BRUISER: Here’s a first, you’re the first person to have the first pick in the draft and end up in the title game. Plus, it’s got to feel good to do it beating your boy Rich.
MANHATTAN PROJECTS: You had a good run, but came up short. You should be solid the next couple years with James and Green at running back. You’ll have the ninth pick in the draft next season.
BACKSTREET BOYZ: Last year you finished 7-7, entered the playoffs as the 7th seed, upset the second seed and lost in the second round. This season you finished 7-7, entered the playoffs as the 7th seed, upset the second seed and lost in the second round. Next season you’ll have the 10th pick (assuming no one drops out).
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Griff’s Stoners 1036 at The Burrier Bruisers 2011
TUESDAY’S THOUGHTS The 2003 Fantasy Football Champion:
TEAM: THE BURRIER BRUISERS OWNER: Richard Burrier
RICH: Oh Richard, you went from worst to first. Not bad for a Patriot fan. You kept the championship in New York for the third straight season. Also, we have to congratulate you for becoming the first team to score or 2,000 points in the title game.
GRIFF: You had a nice run there Griffy. I don’t know what it is about you having kids, making a playoff run to the title game and losing in the title game. In five fantasy football seasons, a Coomer (Griff or Molly) is 0-4, although I don’t think Molly was an official Coomer last year at this time.
And just to let you all know, I won the championship in my other league by one point.
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